Name's Carl. My life's been pretty quiet the last few years, but before that? Well, I've seen a thing or two. Or twenty.
Back in the 1950s, I was in the Army. For a while, I was stationed at a S.H.I.E.L.D. facility. Me and the other fellas took turns guarding some of the stuff they had in there. It was all locked up, of course, but every once in a while one of us would catch a glimpse of something, and none of it made any sense. One time, I saw this thing that looked like a blue cube. Glowed. I don't know how I knew, but I was absolutely sure that thing was not local, and by local, I mean from anywhere on Earth.
Then one day the blamed thing went missing. Let me tell you, if you've never seen an entire base in a panic, it's not a pretty thing. But then two weird things happened. First, the search was called off. Somebody found it. I don't know if someone left it in their pocket in the washing machine or it fell behind a desk or what, but it was gone, then it was there again. Just weird. Even weirder, I thought I saw a guy who looked like Captain Rogers darting out the back and then just disappearing. Poof. Now, you and me both know he was frozen solid in Antarctica round about then, but at the time, nobody knew that. Most of us thought he died in that awful crash. Looks like that ain't the case now, though I don't know how. Good to see he's okay. Still. Don't make much sense.
Then, round about the mid-90s, there was that weird girl with the cat. I was retired by then, but I still hung around with some of the fellas from my unit, played poker, that kind of thing, and one of them had a kid who was in the Air Force. He swore up one side and down the other that there was some pilot, a woman, who was literally indestructible. And there were stories about the cat, that it was under guard for some reason. A damn cat. Now you tell me why that would happen, because I got nothing. That kid couldn't keep his mouth shut to save his life. Or his job. He got booted for running his mouth too much, but it made me wonder.
Anyway, I guess it weren't too much of a shock when the aliens showed up. Makes sense, I suppose. I don't really understand science, but the way I hear it, the universe is big. Real big. It'd be unlikely we're the only ones rattling around in it. I'd kind of hoped that if they ever did show up, they'd be nice, but it don't look like that's the case from what I'm seeing on the news. Shame, that. It'd be good if somewhere out there was a bunch of people or beings or what have you that knew how to behave themselves. We sure don't, though, so I suppose we can't rightly throw stones. Glass house and all that.
I kind of wish you were an alien. You're well-mannered and seem like a decent sort, even for all you're naked as a jaybird. It'd be nice if they were like that. Not naked, you understand, just peaceful like. I ain't never seen someone with that kind of condition, son. That's mighty unusual. Still, I'm glad those pants fit you. I keep that pair in my locker at work, just in case. The shirt too. Always good to have a backup.
My boss is gonna have a meltdown over this mess, though. Can't say I blame him. It's a wreck, but it ain't on me. Sides, enough stuff is getting blown up today that this won't even be a tick on the meter.
Look, that's gonna be a right long walk back to where you gotta go. I got a motorcycle out back. She's a little old, but she runs good, and the tank's full. You ever ridden one before? Well, that's piece of luck.
I'm glad you're okay. Nastiest fall I ever seen. What's your name? Bruce, right. Well, don't fuss yourself about returning those clothes. Consider 'em yours now. If you could bring the bike back later, that'd be nice, but I know the way things go in a battle. If she gets blowed up, well, she had a good life. Plus, my wife's wanted me to stop ridin' for years now. Anyway. Glad I could be of some help. You give 'em hell, son.