Hello. I know... I know... it's been a moment since last we met.

disclaimer: No...I do not own any of the characters from Harry Potter. Just playing in the universe.

author's note: Admittedly, I've had to change a few things to better suit the story I'd like to tell. See past notes for details.

Now, sit back and enjoy my take on the complexity of the Bella/Snape relationship…

*laughs wickedly *

-boots-

Halloween had come and gone.

Autumnal winds cascaded into icy gales and the last leaf had finally fallen off the Whomping Willow whilst nobody was looking.

Between his great success on the Quidditch pitch (broken arm aside), and the rousing duel between Harry and Draco during Duelling club, Harry Potter was becoming even more legendary at Hogwarts. Strangely, that fame nearly overshadowed the fact that Mrs. Norris, Gryffindor first year Colin Creevey, Hufflepuff student Justin Finch-Fletchley and Nearly Headless Nick had all been mysteriously petrified. It was shaping up to be a very weird year for the Golden Trio.

Even the charming Christmas decorations did little to ease the overwhelming and ominous dread that everyone, from the faculty to the house elves was feeling daily.

For the most part, Hadrian Hitchens had kept very much to himself since his public fight with Malfoy. When he heard his housemates chattering on about the petrifications and the threatening message scrawled on the wall, he felt rather apathetic about the whole thing. When he saw the Golden Trio poking around the second-floor girl's lavatory, he kept walking. When he observed Weasley's little sister bizarrely following Harry around the corridors and scribbling furiously in her diary, he rolled his eyes and thought little of it again. When Professor Binns had told his class the story behind the chamber of secrets, he had gone as far as to raise his hand to ask if the information would be on the next exam. When he saw Harry Potter pull out one of the Weasley twins' fireworks from his pocket and set it off during Potions class, he remained stoic and kept his head down in the chaotic aftermath of the explosion. And even when he noticed that Hermione had somehow been granted permission to check out "Moste Potente Potions" from the library's Restricted Section, he simply found something else to read. He just could not bring himself to become invested in much of anything that was not tangible. Even when he heard Harry speaking "snake language",which he admitted was at least interesting, he had found a way to reason that in a world of magic, perhaps that was just another "weird but real thing" like the existence of unicorns or plants that scream. Impassive and emotionless... he just carried on.

In fact, Hadrian had felt indifferent to everything and everyone since his discussion with Professor Snape at the start of the school year.

Professor Snape. Once a name he feared and revered. Once a name he sought to impress.

Now, that name was nothing more than a source of anxiety and intense distrust.

Hadrian hardly ate meals in the Great Hall anymore. He coasted through classes but certainly did not go out of his way to apply himself in any extraordinary fashion. His already thin frame was becoming rather willowy due to his lack of appetite and he looked more and more like a ghost.

You would have done well in Slytherin.

It was all Harry could focus on since the Sorting Hat had said it that day in Dumbledore's office. Was he going mad? Hermione and Ron had both told him that "hearing voices" was not normal, whether one was a wizard or not. Could he be a descendant of Salazar Slytherin? He didn't know anything about his father's family, after all. The Dursleys had always forbidden questions about his wizarding relatives.

The stress of it all seemed insurmountable to the twelve year old boy and he had begun to have panic attacks. He kept them to himself as not to worry his friends, but he well knew he could not sustain on his own for much longer. Even now, as he made his way back to the Gryffindor common room, he heard it... faintly at first...

"Kill... kill"

The voice sounded as though it was right behind him and he quickened his pace to chase after it, only to hear it echo beyond him and vanish down the corridor.

There was almost a stampede to book seats on the Hogwarts Express so that students could go home for Christmas.

Due to his parents scheduling a last minute trip abroad, Draco Malfoy was staying in the castle over a portion of the holiday. And due to Crabbe and Goyle being Draco's lackeys, they had convinced their parents to allow them to stay as well.

"At this rate, we'll be the only ones left," Ron told Harry and Hermione. "Us, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. What a jolly holiday it's going to be."

"And Hitchens" replied Hermione, lifting her gaze sheepishly from her book.

"I thought you weren't speaking to him anymore" Ron whined.

"I'm not." Hermione shut her book and turned to face her friends, "I just... I overheard it when Professor McGonagall was going over the list with the other teachers".

As the boys began to go over their plan to infiltrate the Slytherin common room using the Polyjuice Potion Hermione had been tending to, the young witch's thoughts began to wander back to Hadrian. He had never been far from her mind, amidst all the chaos and confusion of their second year. So many times she had wanted to ask him a question, or share a new spell she had just learned, or even just ask if he wanted a snack. It had not escaped her notice that the boy had lost an alarming amount of weight.

"Right... and that's where Mione comes in..." Harry nudged the daydreaming witch.

"Oh... yes... right." She smiled, took a deep breath and tried to focus. "The potion's nearly ready. We'll be getting the truth out of Malfoy any day now."

"Wicked" Harry and Ron both beamed and the three Gryffindors continued to scheme.

Severus Snape had buried himself in grading for the past few weeks. After his explosive discussion with Hadrian, he had not pressed the boy about attending the extra sessions concerning his devil's snare project. Nor did they speak on his "scholarship" anymore. In fact, they had not spoken at all since then.

After Hadrian had stormed out of his office, the Potions Master had been too stunned to feel much of anything for a time. But soon, the shock gave way to rage. And he had taken this fiery anger out on everyone else for the last few months. Everyone, with the exception of the boy... his boy. And now, as the term was drawing to a close, and as winter's cold began to creep in through every draughty crack in the castle, Snape's rage had finally cooled to a profound sadness.

That sadness had teetered on anguish the more he thought about it. He considered a visit to Azkaban but knew the implications of being seen visiting Bellatrix Lestrange would be less than positive. He had begun to feel rather helpless... and this was not a feeling Severus was accustomed to in the least.

That helplessness might have been what led him here... to the cold, stony steps of Wool's Orphanage.

Hadrian had been more than a little put out when he heard Malfoy and his goons would be staying over the holiday. As such, he decided to stay away from communal areas as much as possible. He had become more disheartened when he found out that the "golden trio" would also be staying behind. All he had wanted to do was read and catch up on some much needed sleep. He doubted any of that would happen now and so, he hid himself away in the library.

Every time Hadrian allowed himself to think about his parents, his emotions alternated between resentment and intense self-loathing. He felt lied to, betrayed... and very much aware of the fact that he had been abandoned. True, he had not allowed Professor Snape to explain. But the boy wondered how much explaining could actually be done. He wasn't sure he wanted to know the details.

Still, some part of his insatiably curious Slytherin mind would not give him a moment's peace on the matter, and so, he had resolved to do his own research.

"Excuse me... Madam Pince?" he called out but when nobody appeared to be in the library, he quietly moved past the rows of shelves until he found what he had hoped existed. There was a section of bookcases devoted to yearbooks, which only dated back to the Seventh year class of 1950, as it was a newer tradition. Unlike the yearbooks one might find in muggle schools, these books only highlighted the graduating class. Hadrian was unsure how old his professor was... he took a deep breath when he thought about his "professor"... his father... his dad? He was entirely unsure what the Potions Master was to him anymore. Shaking his head free of such questions for the time being, he did a bit of quick math and grabbed the book marked "1975". He flipped through it to find the student roster and as he turned the pages his eyes widened when he caught sight of a platinum haired young man with a familiar smirk, peering back at him.

"Lucius Malfoy" he read.

Draco certainly looked a lot like his father. The boy suddenly wondered how much like Snape he actually looked and absentmindedly tucked his loose hairs behind his ear. He scanned the seventh year names for "Bella" or "Severus Snape" to no avail.

He repeated this process with every year and as he opened up 1978, he was beginning to think perhaps he ought to go back further than '75. Perhaps his parents were older than Draco's. Suddenly his eyes fell directly on her.

"Bellatrix Black" his voice cracked a little as he read it aloud.

She smiled and raised an aristocratic eyebrow from the confines of the page and Hadrian felt rather out of breath; at a loss of how to comprehend that this beautiful young lady could be his mother.

He stared at her for what felt like ages but scanned the rest of the roster to make perfectly sure there were no other "Bellas" therein.

He did not even notice James Potter's name. But immediately honed in on his father's picture. There he was; young Severus Snape, arms folded across his chest, hair hanging limply over his thin shoulders, looking surly as ever. Hadrian flipped back to look at his mother and noticed another "Black" next to her on the page.

"Sirius Black" he spoke aloud and couldn't help but smirk as he looked at the handsome green-eyed fellow staring back at him. Whoever this guy was, he exuded confidence.

"That would be your uncle, my dear boy" Dumbledore emerged from the stacks, which startled Hadrian a bit. The Headmaster seemed to have a knack for turning up at just the right time.

"I have an uncle" the boy spoke barely above a whisper.

The Headmaster approached slowly.

"Tell me about her... sir... my mother. Can you please..."

"She was a lovely girl. Very talented... and if I may say so, a bit of a rebellious witch" he chuckled warmly and this made Hadrian smile.

The boy's eyes remained fixed on his mother's face. His head full of questions and his heart full of hurt.

"Why didn't anyone tell me? Professor Snape... I mean... my fa... Snape... he said she's still alive. Headmaster, can you take me to her? Do you know where she is?"

The boy's eyes were full of tears that wouldn't spill.

"Hadrian... there are some things you must know about your parents. Regarding your mother, you must know that people will say some terrible things indeed should you tell them her name. The Black family is not particularly well known for their tolerance I'm afraid. Your safety could be compromised should knowledge of your lineage become public. As for your father..."

Dumbledore watched Hadrian slump in his seat at the mention of Severus.

"Your father is the bravest man I have ever known. He was a boy much like you..."

At this, Hadrian raised an eyebrow and gave a questioning look.

"Oh my yes... Severus was picked on terribly by your uncle actually, truth be told. He and James Potter didn't give him a moment of peace, I'm afraid"

"Potter? As in..."

"Harry's father, yes." Dumbledore pointed to Lily Evans and explained what great friends James and Sirius had been. Hadrian listened attentively and his heart begin to feel a little less heavy in his chest.

"Sir... did they love each other?... my parents I mean... were they in love?"

The Headmaster's eyes twinkled and he gently placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I'm afraid that is a question you will have to ask your father, Mr. Hitchens." He observed the boy's crestfallen expression at this.

"You said there were things about my mother...things people would say about her... what sort of things? Why will nobody tell me where she is?" He had not meant to sound so panicked but found he couldn't help the anxiety swelling beneath his heart. "Where is she, Headmaster?"

And so it fell upon Albus Dumbledore. He deliberated for a moment and the twinkle in his eyes dulled as if clouds had obscured the starlight therein. The boy deserved the truth. He only hoped Severus would forgive him.

"She is alive, Hadrian", the old wizard adjusted his glasses and continued, "She is a prisoner... of Azkaban."

Severus was met by the same lazy-eyed old woman that had introduced Albus to Hadrian over a year ago now. Although the Potions Master had never set foot in Wool's before, it looked exactly as he had seen in the Headmaster's intimate memories of Tom Riddle.

The orphanage appeared utterly abandoned until he turned down a corridor to the right and stepped into a florescent lit office, which though it appeared vintage, did not look as Victorian as the rest of the asylum-like building.

"Good afternoon. My name is Darren. How may I help you?" A tall, slender twenty-something with curly red hair and thin wire-frame glasses smiled broadly at the Potions Master.

"Good afternoon. I am... I..." Severus began to sweat a little. What was he doing here? Perhaps this had been a mistake. But perhaps it was too late to retreat... for there he stood, Severus Snape, looking like a much older and more rotund gentleman with gray, thinning hair and beard. Polyjuice potion really was a double agent's most valuable tool.

"I have this..." He slid a small stack of documents to the younger man, keeping fierce and steady eye contact the whole time.

Severus had asked his solicitor to draw up the necessary papers to claim Hadrian as his ward, portraying himself as a "distant relative". For now, this might be the best he could do for his son. This reality brought a pang of guilt to his heart, but he rationally knew that the boy's identity would surely become a liability; and his life was already quite complicated enough.

The red-head scanned the documents and nodded. "Right... yes... Hitchens, okay." He stared back into Snape's eyes and for a moment was totally mesmerized by their obsidian blackness.

"This will take a few weeks to process and we are terribly backlogged, I'm afraid."

A few weeks? That would not do at all. Severus narrowed his eyes and stared deeply into the other man's eyes.

"But it won't be a problem for you to approve it right now" Severus purred.

"It won't be a problem for me to approve it right now." the young man replied flatly and he began the monotonous muggle process of signing and stamping.

Nearly an hour later, Severus was being handed the completed documents along with a muggle certificate of live birth processed in Hadrian's name on the day he was abandoned.

"There we are. That should be all set, Mr. Hitchens."

Severus nodded, collected the papers and silently turned to leave.

"Oh... Mr. Hitchens... there's just one other thing."

Severus stopped abruptly and fingered his wand in his coat pocket. He had hoped not to need to use it.

The young man disappeared into a back closet and reemerged shortly with a cardboard box, about the size of a muggle toaster-oven.

"Here you are"

"What is this?" Severus eyed the box with suspicion.

"Oh... well, it's Hadrian's things."

Things? Severus hadn't imagined the boy would have any "things".

"His baby blanket's in there."

Severus felt his chest tighten when he observed just how small the worn little blanket was. Hadrian had once been a baby... his baby, swaddled up in the tattered green cloth now laying in a dingy box.

"...And there are some photographs as well."

"Photographs?"

"Yes sir. Over the years, staff have taken numerous photos of the children in residence." He flipped a few of them over and chuckled, "Most of these look like baby photos, guess he kind of outgrew it ...he was a very cute baby though" The ginger-haired gentleman smiled and handed the box over. "Congratulations to you both, sir. It's nice when these young people's luck can turn around for the better. Have a happy Christmas!"

And that was that.

Severus threw the box under his arm and stepped out into the brisk December air.

And as he did, a pair of dark eyes watched him go and a hooded figure slinked back into the shadow of a nearby alleyway.