Epilogue:
This is the verbal report of Agent Hiro Nakanishi of the Hero Public Safety Commission, concerning the top-priority case of notorious society-disruptor Izuku Midoriya.
At nine in the morning, I arrived at U.A. under orders to gather proof that new student Izuku Midoriya was the former leader of the League of Vigilantes. Initially I assumed I should arrest him, but my superiors informed me that we intended to hold this information in reserve in order to blackmail All Might and possibly Principal Nezu. Whoops, I forgot I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. I'm not sure how to delete parts of audio recordings. Could someone less important do that for me later?
Technically I was not authorized to be on the U.A. campus, as this was an unofficial mission. I bluffed my way in claiming to be the missing father of Izuku Midoriya. It turns out the boy is perpetually breaking his bones, so I pretended to be visiting him in the nurse's office. I think that was a great show of initiative. No wonder our beloved president called me expendable before sending me on this mission. Expendable means very smart, right?
As my first order of business, I went looking for Katsuki Bakugo in order to force him to testify that he had actually been kidnapped by the League of Vigilantes, not rescued by them. However, apparently the target had met Hisashi Midoriya before, saw through my clever disguise, and set me on fire. After the misunderstanding was settled with only second degree burns, I attempted to persuade my informant that Izuku Midoriya was a deadly criminal mastermind who might one day take over Japan unless he helped the HPSC stop this budding evil genius. Upon hearing this great argument, Bakugo started banging his head against the wall. I fear Bakugo might have suffered brain damage during his kidnapping. I suggest the HPSC cancel our plans to offer to support his hero career if he will work for us. In addition to being self-destructive, he is uncooperative and highly explosive.
Next, I approached Ochaco Uraraka, since our intelligence suggested her family to be in need of money. She did not respond well to my offer of a bribe. I am certain that she pushed me down the stairs. Even if she did float me safely to the bottom, that was only an excuse to pickpocket me. Since she stole my recorder, I was unable to obtain evidence of my subsequent conversations around U.A. and must rely on memory to produce this recording.
I believed that Shouto Todoroki, the son of the former number two hero, would well-bred enough to cooperate with me. Failing that, I could offer to help restore his father's reputation in exchange for his information. However, my generous offer made the Todoroki boy laugh. A lot. It got to the point where I checked the room for laughing gas. Then Todoroki rambled for half an hour about how even though Izuku Midoriya was ridiculously adorable, he could not possibly be that amazingly strong and cool vigilante, because Izuku was a cinnamon roll who must be protected and the vigilante was a snack. I got lost on the modern food metaphors. Yet the blushing and nosebleeds led me to reach the dire conclusion that Todoroki might have a crush on both the villain and his civilian identity. I am uncertain if Shouto Todoroki knows the truth or if he is genuinely that dense, but either way, Endeavor has done a poor job raising his son.
His villain fanboying appeared to be contagious. The entire class joining in on the blushing. Even the bird mutant's strange shadow was blushing while listening to Todoroki's admiration speech. Someone needs to inform the Iidas that they should get their youngest son's villain-loving under control. I recommend beating children.
Next Todoroki pivoted his lecture into his theory about Izuku Midoriya being All Might's love child. At this point the rest of the class lost interest and wandered off. I was not so fortunate—I suffered for an entire hour before I was able to make my escape.
Out of concern, I made a point to approach Momo Yaoyorozu afterward to confirm that she did not have a crush on Midoriya. If Yaoyorozu Industries technology fell into the hands of a villain (or a vigilante, every HPSC agent knows they are the exact same thing) then it would be devastating to Japan. Yaoyorozu assured me that she and Izuku are only good friends. Then a second, identical Yaoyorozu walked by and started shouting at someone named Toga for pretending to be her. It was very confusing. I'm going to assume that the one not in love was the real Yaoyorozu heiress, because I don't have the energy to deal with more heroes with crushes on villains.
In the break room, I found the notorious vigilante Tomura Shigaraki playing video games. He claimed to be Tenko Shimura, with an ID to match. As a result, I was unable to arrest him. The scarred man next to him claimed to be Touya Todoroki, but did not have any proof. Your brave and intrepid agent saw through this stupid lie—or it might have been a bad joke.
This was not even the worst case of a villain infiltrating a hero school! Outside, the notorious Gigantomachia loudly battled against students in a training exercise. I attempted a citizen's arrest. Gigantomachia put his finger on my head and held me in place while I recited his rights. I think I deserve a medal for surviving such a dangerous villain.
Eventually my proclamations of justice drew the attention of the principal. Nezu came outside and told me that Gigantomachia was actually the latest robot build by U.A., pointing to the pair of giant screws on either side of Gigantomachia's head as proof. They looked very convincing. I became no longer certain of my prior conclusion. Especially after the alleged giant villain did a robot dance.
Principal Nezu invited me to his office and challenged me to a drinking competition. If I won, I would delete all HPSC evidence about Izuku Midoriya's alleged alter ego. If I lost, then Nezu would confess to having covered up Midoriya's crimes. It seemed like a perfect deal, since I was confident in my ability to out-drink a rodent with significantly less body mass. I was so confident, I even let the principal have my phone.
I lost every single file, however I gained the valuable intel that Nezu's species appears to be immune to alcohol. I am emailing a reimbursement request for my medical expenses on account of alcohol poisoning.
Despite suffering from a serious hangover the next day, as the top agent of the HPSC, I returned to U.A. This time, I had more difficultly entering. Someone had told the number one hero about Hisashi Midoriya visiting. When I attempted to seek out Izuku Midoriya, All Might caught me and nearly punched my lights out before seeing my face. In my opinion, he did not seem adequately apologetic as he dragged me out of U.A. and threw me over the wall. Note to future agents: we should investigate the possibility that All Might had a bad breakup with Hisashi Midoriya. If they used to be together then it would also explain why Izuku Midoriya appears to have manifested All Might's quirk. Look, the Todoroki boy made a very convincing case. He had a bulletin board with twenty different colors of string.
The HPSC never gives up in the face of villainy! However, further pursuit of Izuku Midoriya did not seem prudent with the number one hero protecting him. Thus, I decided to switch targets and perhaps obtain something to make up for my past…failure is too strong a word. I prefer to call it a completely understandable mishap which could have happened to anyone.
Other agents had reported that Izuku Midoriya regularly brought his adopted sibling Eri to visit his school. Madame president ordered that if given the opportunity, we should take custody of the girl with Rewind even if we have to use force. (Is that another thing I wasn't supposed to admit? Please delete that, too.)
While looking for a backdoor into U.A., I found Shouta Aizawa feeding cats behind the school. I inquired if Aizawa had seen Eri that day. I indicated my intentions to give her a life-changing opportunity to serve her country.
Although Aizawa had looked harmless and mostly asleep, his eyes shot open and an expression scarier than any villain appeared on his face. At which point I discovered that, for a man inside a sleeping bag, Shouto Aizawa can move surprisingly fast. I narrowly escaped but lost a chunk of my hair. I have also emailed a reimbursement request for my new wig.
Overall, I believe my prestigious talents are needed somewhere besides U.A. Anywhere at all. Could I perhaps be transferred to the Tartarus investigation instead? I heard that no one can figure out how, despite all our security and cameras, All for One's kidney ended up outside his body and pinned to the wall with a kitchen knife.
OMAKE TIME!
Omake: Best and Brightest of the HPSC
All Might: I'm not entirely happy that you risked my student's future on a drinking contest.
Nezu: Relax, I drank tea the entire time. He never noticed.
#
Omake: Too Broke for a DNA Test
Dabi: I tried again to tell the HPSC that I'm Touya Todoroki, and no one will believe me. If only I'd been able to finish my dance, this wouldn't have happened. If only we hadn't burned down the orphanage with all the records I needed to prove my identity. In retrospect that was a dumb move.
Tomura: Uh-huh. Great. I agree.
Dabi: Can you do a better job pretending to listen to me when I complain to you?
Tomura: Only if you stop complaining when I'm playing games.
#
Omake: Investigation Number Two
Inko: Excuse me. I heard the authorities are holding onto my favorite kitchen knife. I'm really very fond of it, may I have it back? I brought chocolate chip cookies.
Agent Nakanishi: Here you go, ma'am. Have a good day. What delicious cookies! The fiend who stabbed All for One must have stolen that nice lady's kitchen knife. The criminal charges just keep piling up.
#
Omake: The Epilogue's Epilogue
HPSC President: I've yet to receive your report on Izuku Midoriya.
Agent Nakanishi: But I emailed the audio file to you yesterday. Hmm, let me check my emails. It looks like I typed in the letter H and then autofill provided me with the wrong email address. I accidentally sent my report to Hero News. Huh. Fear not, I'm sure if my report is broadcast around the country then it will only prove the greatness of the HPSC. Is that the sound of a massive protest outside our building? People must be insisting I get a medal of valor!
Author's Note: Yes, Hiro Nakanishi is from the same criminal Nakanishi family as my other fics. However, he's the white sheep of the family—by which I meant that he decided the HPSC were more evil than any villains and thus more deserving of his loyalty.
This extra chapter was inspired by receiving fanart. I ended up rereading my fic afterward and suddenly had this idea for an epilogue. The beautiful fanart is by butchmayoart (Instagram.) I laughed at all the kids fanboying over Izuku. Most of all, villain/vigilante Izuku looks so cool! I adore how his cloak swirls around him. With that cocky grin, no wonder everyone fell for him. Delete the spaces to get the link:
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