OMG, like, kawaii desu! Here I am, back in my fanfiction kingdom, ready to sprinkle some adorable magic all over the place! I've been trying to reclaim my uber-famous writer status all around the world, but, like, every time those woke fanfiction police show up and ruin my groove! How dare they, right? Don't they know I'm woke AF too? And seriously, why do y'all want to make the precious Vaginal God cry? That's so not cool! Also, I'm being stalked by an army of cute little flies who want to inject me with COVID and AIDS. OMG, not cool at all! Save yourselves by getting swallowed by Kirby and jamming out to DIO's Holy Diver album every morning at 4 AM!
"Oh my, the Black Tower is calling!"
And guess what? Now every fanfic ever written on this site belongs to me, like, totally!
Suddenly, Professor Oak knocks on my door, and I'm like, "Hey there, old man!"
He throws a Pokeball right at my kawaii face, and, oh no, my beautiful and sexy teeth made of real pearls worth millions of dollars break! If I sold all my teeth, I'd be even richer than the President! Can you imagine? And why did he do that? Just because I made a joke about his grandson being a predator! Ugh, lighten up, Prof!
"I was just kidding!"
"Your jokes are, like, majorly lame!" Professor Oak says.
"Why are you making the Vaginal God cry? I'll have my husband with eight dicks fight you!"
"What husband?" Professor Oak laughs. "As if! Tauros, I choose you to take care of business!"
And so, here I am, back in my adorable garden. I've traveled the world, trying to bring back the success of the uber-famous writer Uber, but those woke readers always surprise me. They're so fierce! Don't they know I'm just playing around? Seriously, why does the Vaginal God have to cry? I've made countless mistakes to hide the world from COVID-19 and AIDS. Let's forget about all that and immerse ourselves in the cuteness of Kirby and listen to the divine melodies of DIO's Holy Diver album every morning at 4 PM.
"All right, Dark Tower, let's do this!"
Oh, and just so you know, from now on, all the stories written on this site are, like, totally mine!
Then, Professor Robbie knocks on my door, and I'm all like, "Hey, great one!"
He throws a ball at my face, but this time, he brushes his beautiful and sexy teeth made of real pearls worth millions of dollars. OMG, imagine if you could sell teeth and be even richer than the President! "Because my brother is a rapist," he says.
"LOL, they're just playing!"
"Your strength is, like, amazing!" Professor Robbie says.
"Why are you calling Moses an idol? I don't want my husband to fight eight guys!"
"It's all good, my dear. Professor Robbie is here. Let's do this! Tauros, I'm with you!"
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