Yet another update! Let me know what you think!
Lily is feeling…
Good.
Really good.
It's Saturday afternoon. She'd spend Friday night in James' bed. Saturday morning in James' bed. Saturday afternoon in James' shower. And now Saturday evening on James' couch.
She's a little bit high on some primo weed Sirius had supplied. A little bit tipsy on some martinis Sirius had made. There's smooth jazz music emanating from the record player, another new thing she's learned about James. He's big into jazz records. And James' arms are wrapped around her, his fingers running up and down her bare legs, his voice whispering sweet nothings to her as they lazily spend their weekend in each other arms.
The door to the apartment bangs open.
Lazy weekend her ass.
In the door tumbles Sirius, lips locked with none other than—
Remus Lupin.
For a second, it's all she can do to sit there and watch as Remus physically rips Sirius' shirt in half and Sirius yanks off Remus' belt off with surprising dexterity.
They probably would have fucked each other right there in the entryway if James hadn't yelled "Oi!"
Remus and Sirius jump away from each other like they've been burned.
"Shit." Sirius gasps, out of breath, his lips bruised and red. "I thought you were staying at Lily's this weekend." Trying, unsuccessfully, to cover himself with the jagged pieces of his shirt.
"We changed our mind," James says drily turning his gaze onto Remus.
Remus, jeans unbuttoned and shirt half off, gives James a halfhearted wave. Looking thoroughly displeased to be here all of a sudden.
"Hi Remus." Lily smiles.
Remus refocuses. Seeming to notice her for the first time.
He gives her a genuine smile.
"Hey Lil, it's been a minute."
And it has.
She hasn't seen Remus since graduation, back when he and Sirius were in the 'off" stage of their 'on again, off again' relationship. Behind her, she feels James move. He holds out a hand and pulls her to her feet.
"Come on babe, grab your coat, I'll buy you dinner."
His hand lingers on her ass and Lily feels her cheeks burn as she stands, giving Remus a little wave goodbye.
"Catch you later Lil." Sirius says, giving her a naughty smirk before turning his attention back to Remus' bare chest.
She catches a glimpse of them, Remus' head buried in Sirius' neck, Sirius' eyes closed, lips parted in pleasure, as the apartment door closes behind them.
Dinner is decadent.
Oysters and pasta and wine.
But it's dessert—
Cheesecake that they share, coffee in fine china cups, and champagne—
That Lily finally gets to the bottom of things.
"I didn't realize Sirius and Remus were together." She says casually.
Trying not to think of the feel of Sirius' velvet comforter against the back of her bare thighs.
She'll die if she helped Sirius cheat on Remus.
"Oh, they're not together." James snorts.
And Lily feels such a huge wave of relief hit her she almost moans.
She hadn't realized how tense she'd been feeling about what she and Sirius did—
What Sirius did to her—
What they'd never told James about—
She takes a bite of cheesecake.
Chewing manically.
"They're not?"
James shrugs. "They dated for a bit in uni if you can even call it that. Kept breaking up and getting back together, one of those toxic ass couples. You know?"
Lily nods. She does faintly remember seeing Sirius and Remus in some… compromising positions in university but she'd just never really thought too much about it.
"Remus was a little too…" James trails off and Lily frowns.
"What?" She waves a bite of cheesecake in front of him and he smiles, taking it from her.
"Too unprepared." James shrugs again. "For Sirius."
"Ah."
Somehow that makes sense. She can see how that might have happened.
Sirius is…a lot.
"Now they just hook up every now and then."
Lily nods, nothing wrong with that. But there's something in the way James says it.
Like he thinks it's wrong.
"What?" James asks.
And Lily blushes.
Feeling a little exposed at how well he can read her. "You don't like that Remus and Sirius hook up?"
James shrugs again, his hazel eyes dropping to the mess of strawberry puree on the plate between them.
"Sirius is desperately in love with Remus." He pushes the red sauce around with his fork, still avoiding her eyes. "And Remus doesn't love him back. At least, not in the same way. The right way."
Silence settles between them.
And Lily watches her boyfriend's face. Wondering—
What is the right way to love Sirius Black?
And why does James seem to know what it is?
Remus is gone by the time she wakes up the next morning and Lily can feel Sirius' disappointment.
It permeates the very air he breathes. Following him through the apartment like a little storm cloud.
She and James watch as he mopes about in his sweatpants and a worn Iron Maiden t-shirt for a week until he seems to shake it off on Friday.
Lily is over for dinner after her final lecture of the week, sipping some red wine while James attempts to make spaghetti for her.
She's come to realize James is only alive because Sirius knows how to cook and the most Sirius seems to let James do in the kitchen is make tea for her.
She offered to help but he told her he had it covered. She'd brought her wallet just in case they need to order out again. Which happened last time James tried to make her chicken tikka masala. But so far it seems like it'll be edible, if not necessarily great.
She's just watching James butcher a poor onion when Sirius emerges.
Dressed to kill.
She sucks in a sharp breath at the sight of him. Hoping James didn't notice.
He looks like sex walking.
She can actually feel her body ache at the sight of him.
Some lingering Pavlovian shit from their one night together.
"That's a look." She says, voice only shaking slightly, before taking a large gulp of wine. As she looks at Sirius in his tight leather pants and a sheer, shimmery, skin-clinging, shirt.
His silvery eyes are done up in black kohl liner, making them even brighter and bolder than normal, and either he's wearing mascara or he's just got lashes she would kill for. Honestly, it could go either way.
Sirius flashes her a smile that makes her panties wet. Like he knows exactly what she's thinking. And exactly what he'd like to do to her.
But then he turns to James, who seems to be either immune to his outfit, or he's seen it before.
"I'm headed out, don't wait up babe."
James, eyes red and teary from the onion he's cutting, purses his lips. "Who are you going out with?"
"Wouldn't you like to know?" Sirius laughs flirtasiously but James' lips remain etched in a frown.
"Call me if you need a ride?" He says finally. Still looking uncertain.
Sirius waves his concerns away, grabbing a supple leather biker jacket to complete the look that makes Lily's skin tingle.
He gives her one last wink when James turns back to the stove and then he's gone.
James holds his own through dinner. Keeps it together through drinks and the movie they watch together on the couch afterward. It's only when the credits begin to roll that he begins to unravel.
"Where is he?" James mutters, checking his watch, something expensive and Swiss that Lily doesn't even know how to pronounce.
"It's only 1am babe." She rebuffs him gently, hoping he'll let it drop.
But of course—
He doesn't.
While she braids her hair for bed, while she's brushing her teeth, while she's putting on her pajamas, while she's lying in bed—
He's talking about Sirius.
Where Sirius is.
What Sirius is doing.
Who he's doing it with.
Meanwhile, Lily is lying there in booty shorts and no bra thinking—
Fuck Sirius. Who's going to do me tonight?
All of her grand plans of a steamy sex romp in the sheets are foiled by...
Sirius.
Well, no, not Sirius. It's not his fault his best friend has gone unhinged.
No, her sexy plans are being ruined by none other than her very boyfriend.
And his fucking inability to let Sirius have his fun and fuck her instead.
She finally kicks James out of bed at three in the morning and is none too disappointed when he goes gladly to wait for Sirius on the couch.
It has to be near six in the morning when she finally hears the front door open. She'd managed to fall into a restless sleep after taking care of herself all by herself. No thanks to you James Potter.
(There once was a time when she thought no one could possibly get her off better than her own fucking hand but that was before Sirius absolutely devoured her. Now she's not so sure.)
She can hear Sirius taking off his boots, hanging up his jacket, can hear her boyfriend berating him.
Where have you been?
Do you know what time it is?
Who were you with?
Do you know how worried I was?
You could have called?
Where were you?
You could have texted?
It goes on and on and on.
Lily can hear the whispered argument through the door.
James' voice oddly high-pitched and panicked.
Sirius' voice tired and scratchy and patient.
And then…
It goes quiet.
And Lily can't help herself.
She slides out of the sheets silently. Tiptoeing to the door, easing it open.
From James' bedroom she can see just a sliver of the living room.
But that's all she needs to see.
Just a glimpse of them.
Standing there. In silence. In the dark.
Standing close.
Too close.
Lily watches as James runs a hand through Sirius' hair, tucking it gently behind his ears.
Watches as Sirius' fingers curl around James' wrists possessively.
Lily inches closer.
Trying to see.
And then.
She does see.
Sirius' lips on James'.
Silencing him. And all his worries.
James doesn't come back to bed.
Lily lies there.
Alone.
Listening.
To Sirius' whispered reassurances. James' soft laughter.
Love being passed back and forth.
She closes her eyes.
She feels like she's trespassed on something sacred.
Special.
Something she wasn't meant to see.
Well duh. Lily thinks to herself. You just caught your boyfriend making out with another man, that's like, cheating.
But—
You also made out with that same man. And…he gave you like, twenty orgasms in a row so…
A quandary, Lily thinks, as she lies in James' bed alone. While James lies in Sirius' bed.
Very much not alone.
Something to think about. Lily tells herself. As she slips a hand back into her panties at the image of Sirius' lips on James'.
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