Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer

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Where the Lines Overlap

Season 1 - Stuck on You

(What you've been looking for) has been here the whole time

Monday, 2:43 AM.

It's dark. Silent.

His body shivers slightly under the thin covers, but not due to the cool temperature of his room. His head moves slowly to the left and he sighs heavily.

In the dream, his mind replays a part of that birthday night.

Jazz, do you know who you're with?

His lips twitch a little, indecisive between a grimace or a smile. His eyes, under the eyelids, move rapidly while the scene unfolds once again.

"I want to kiss you… I want to kiss you so bad…"

His body stretches, his long legs almost reaching the end of the bed. His free hand clutches the sheet as if his life depended on it, and his lips part to allow the release of a weighted breath. In his chest his heart is racing, pounding so strongly against his ribs it's almost painful.

Jasper, what you're doing?

Shhhh… just… let me kiss you… I really want to… kiss you... please.

Edward's eyes open up at their own accord, his right hand hovering over his parted lips. They are tingling with the phantom sensation, just as they tingled several days after that kiss.

He turns his whole body to the right side, sighs sadly, and tries to go back into unconsciousness. But it doesn't matter how hard he squeezes his eyelids, his mind is reeling again.

Huffing and sitting up on the mattress, Edward picks up his phone on the bedside table to check his messages again…

He sighs, telling himself that Jasper probably hasn't heard his voicemail.

He lays down again, repeating that he needs to go back to sleep in his mind. He closes his eyes, waiting for slumber to claim him but, all he can think of is the afternoon.

"I won't tell anyone, you can trust me." Rose assured seriously.

"I know." He replied in a calm voice.

" But… I think this is one more reason for you to… give me a chance." She said softly and Edward chuckled, looking at her with kindness. "Will you?"

Edward gave her a gentle smile and shook his head.

"I can't, Rose." He reaffirmed.

"Why not?" She kind of whined while still smiling.

"Because of what I just told you… You know how I feel about your brother."

"But he doesn't know about it, and you don't want him to… right?"

"I don't. Because I don't wanna lose him over this. He's my best friend."

"But… you like me too, don't you?" She insisted.

Edward chuckled again.

"I do like you, Rose…"

Releasing a puff of air, Edward opens his eyes again.

He admonishes himself for being so lenient… he should have noticed Rose getting closer…

He stepped back as soon as their lips touched, and he did tell Rosalie he didn't like her that way. But he still feels guilty for his poor reflexes and for hurting her even if just a little as she assured him afterward.

A trembling sigh makes his chest rise and fall widely. He turns his body on the mattress while yet another memory consumes him.

"Hey… it's me." He says on the phone before taking a deep breath. "Please, pick up the phone…"

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"I feel weird about our talk… and I need…" He heaved a puffy breath. "I don't wanna talk to your voicemail… please call me when you get this."

Shaking his head, Edward squeezes his eyes closed yet again, trying to push away all the moments of that too-long of a day.

He tosses and turns until he feels slightly comfortable again, curled up in a fetal position. He falls back asleep after a while.

5:51 AM.

He sees Jasper lying there, in Alice's bed. He knows what happened, it is obvious.

He fucked her…

Edward feels his chest hurting, inside that nightmare and out, but he can't make himself wake up. Stuck in slumber, his mind reels with thoughts of that moment.

He doesn't like her… He doesn't want her… But he doesn't want you, either…

He likes girls… He's straight… He likes girls… He fucked her…

Into the horror of that dream, he holds his breath for a second… Then his eyes are wide open again.

He breathes heavily to compensate for the brief abstinence of oxygen. He sits up and waits a little until the disorientation lessens.

He knows what he needs to do so he can put his mind at ease.

Deliberately, he takes a deep breath and, as he exhales, he allows the flood of remembrances to drown him once and for all...

.

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…..Edward…..

Hale's house, 11:57 PM. Jasper's birthday night.

I look at the boy sitting on the toilet, his head hanging like he doesn't have any strength left to keep it upright.

"Can you stand?" I ask him softly. "I need to take your clothes off."

He opens his eyes and looks up at me with his ocean-green eyes lit. His pupils are a little more dilated than normal, so I know he isn't sober yet, but at least he can still understand what I am saying.

"I can take my clothes off myself." He drawls. "Unless you reaaaaally wanna do it."

I stifle a laugh. Besides the fact that he is truly funny when he's drunk, he doesn't know what he is joking about…

I am trying my best to keep my cool and not to take advantage of his semi-consciousness. He has no idea...

"C'mon, Jazz, help me out. You need to take a shower to sober up." I ask softly, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it up.

He raises his arms, allowing me to start undressing him. I am kind of nervous. I know there's nothing new here, I've seen him shirtless numerous times before, so, no surprises. Seeing his upper body is nothing compared to what's to come, even though he has a gorgeous torso with slightly muscled shoulders and chest, toned long arms, and perfect abs that usually make my life very difficult whenever I'm around upper-body-naked Jasper...

The problem is seeing him completely naked, which is what'll happen within some minutes.

Last morning, when I stupidly followed him into his bathroom, I wasn't prepared, at all, for the sight of his total nudity and semi-erection. My reaction proved it well. And I'm not prepared to face it again, least of all up close, or even worse… maybe have some contact with it.

But he needs a shower, and clearly can't take it alone. And before my desires for him, comes my constant worry and care, so there is no way in hell I'm leaving him alone in a wet tiled cubicle, risking him slipping and hitting his head or something.

I take a deep breath, calming myself when his lean chest is totally exposed to me. I have to fight the urge to slide my fingers along his hairless flawless skin.

"Now, stand up." I demand in a low tone. My voice is starting to betray me.

Jasper looks at me and smiles. The dazzling provocative dimpled smile that always makes me putty in his hands.

If he only knew what his smile does to me…

"Are you gonna ogle me again, like you did in the morning?" He asks mid-laugh, and I am shocked.

I don't know how to answer it. I know for a fact that he noticed the way I was affected by seeing him naked last morning, I couldn't have been any more obvious than I was, but I didn't think he could bring it up.

Calm down, Edward. He's wasted, he's saying whatever comes to his mind without a filter and he'll never remember any of this.

Yeah. I know him too well, and it isn't the first time he's this drunk. So I have a clue about later today. Alcoholic blackout. So I decide that I don't need to step on eggshells for now.

"Only if you want me to." I reply in defiance, just to see how far he'll go in this game.

I know I am risking my secret. And I know I am not considering that this time can be different from the others he drank. He can remember everything when he wakes up, and I'll be completely screwed if this is the case. But the truth is, since I slipped a bunch of times along the day, throwing dreamy smiles and flirtatious glances at him on many occasions during his birthday gathering, I'm almost certain that one more hint won't make that much difference. Besides, I don't expect him to take it seriously anyway…

And, just as I thought, Jazz laughs, loud and clear, the smooth sound of his husky voice eliciting subtle goosebumps along my neck and back. He is totally clueless about the way I feel about him.

He stands up and looks me in the eyes, his angelic face tilted up a little.

"So take my pants off." He demands defiant, slurring all along, swaying back and forth.

Oh my God! Is this real?

I want it to be real. I want this little game to be part of a real seduction game. But I know he's only defying me, seeing how far I'll go before backing down.

Well, I won't. Not tonight. Not right now. Not when he's playing the game with me.

So I take a discreet deep breath and get really close. I give in to the insane want I feel for him, grab the waistband of his jeans pants, and pull him to me in a swift movement, nearly clashing our chests.

I look at his eyes from above, pouring every bit of desire I have inside me for him through my gaze.

"Is it a yes?" I provoke deliberately, sporting my best crooked smile, enjoying this improbable moment of flirtation between us.

Jasper doesn't answer at first, which makes me believe that either he isn't concatenating ideas anymore because of the alcohol or the game went too far for him to keep up with.

But then he surprises the hell out of me.

"I want to kiss you…" He whispers, his eyes intently fixed on my lips. "I want to kiss you so bad…"

I freeze. I simply freeze.

Maybe I am the one wasted, having a drunk wet dream?

But before I can wrap my head around what he just said, one of his hands is at the nape of my neck, pulling me down to him.

I feel like I'm on a roller coaster, a fluttering sensation taking over my body.

"Jasper, what you're doing?" I murmur the question, my voice suddenly weak.

My knees are trembling, my legs feel like jelly, my heart is thundering, and my eyes are hooded and threatening to close at their own accord.

What the fuck is happening...?

"Shh… just… let me kiss you… I really want to… kiss you... please." his drawled request is almost desperate, and it matches the urge that abruptly rises within me.

Our foreheads touch. We're both breathing heavily. I look at him and feel my body wobble. His eyes are fierce and focused on my lips so keenly that I almost feel his gaze physically.

I want it. I want it so badly that my whole body hurts from the effort of being refrained, but I am utterly confused.

Does he know he is about to kiss me? His best friend? A guy?

Maybe he is trapped in a drunken haze or he's hallucinating about some girl… Maybe he thinks I'm Bella…?

I know, it's a stupid thing to consider since she's way shorter and slimmer than me. And she's a woman. But I sincerely don't know what else to think.

"Jazz, do you know who you're with?" I ask in a low voice, afraid he'll come to his senses and push me away.

I'm looking at him from under my heavy eyelids, forcing myself to wait, restraining the urge to lean just a bit closer and touch his lips with mine.

He nods only once. And then he aligns his face with mine, his eyes long closed, and pulls me to him.

His silent answer didn't elucidate shit, but I couldn't care less. I have no strength to hold back. I don't want to avoid this.

I let my eyes close as our lips touch slightly. My heart almost stops, just to jolt back into a hurried pace and I feel a rush of warmth concentrating in the center of my chest.

He sighs and I think I sigh too, but I can't be sure because I'm simply not thinking anymore… his lips are fully on mine.

As they move languidly, brushing and nibling and asking me to respond, the sensation that takes me is impossible to describe. He's cautious, maybe as afraid as I am…? But it doesn't matter… I respond in kind, nipping and pulling his bottom lip into my mouth and it feels so damn good…

This kiss is so sweet… slow and soft like I dreamt it would be so many times…

It doesn't seem to be driven by a raw desire, it's something else… and it's warming my heart.

My heart…

It's rushing through the beats like it's about to rip my chest open to fly to him...

If he only knew he holds my heart in his hands… He has me completely and he has no clue about it.

I let go of the waistband of his pants and hold his face carefully. It fits so perfectly between my hands…

In a slow but spontaneous move, I part my lips just a little and trap his lower one between mine. I suck on it gently, controlling the urge to do it just a bit more intensely.

I'm seeing stars right now…

Jasper's hum sends my heart straight to the peak, ready to burst out of my chest, and the vibrations of the sound make my whole body tingle.

I can't believe this is happening… I cannot believe we are kissing…

I've dreamt about this for two long and agonizing years, certain that this fantasy would never become a reality. And now it is happening…

Jasper's hands slide to my shoulders and he draws me even closer to him.

Am I dreaming?

It feels like a dream. It can't be real…

Slowly, enticingly, the tip of his tongue slides along my bottom lip, asking me for entrance…

My whole body seems to vibrate in anticipation… and then he repeats the motion. And fucking hell, this feels so damn crazy and wonderful...

My desire is to grant him. I want to feel his tongue swirling with mine and I'm dying to explore the depths of his mouth but... I'm still too puzzled, I am not sure if he knows what he's doing or with whom he's doing it, and it pains me that he'll never remember this kiss… our first kiss… maybe our only one.

So, I don't want us to go any further than this… Not without his complete awareness of what's happening.

Cautiously I push his face back, slowly and carefully breaking the kiss.

"Jazz, wait…" I whisper over his lush mouth, trying to put some distance between us.

"Why are you stopping this?" His voice is barely above a whisper and he still has his eyes closed. "I want to kiss you." He states as he leans his head down on my chest, and I still can't tell if he really knows he's with me. "And I can feel you want it too."

Oh, God! You have no idea how much I want it...

I hug him, feeling strangely happy, but also truly uncertain, and he hugs me back. We've done it so many times before, but it's so different from any other moment… We're holding each other. Really holding each other. I don't want to let him go and I can feel he doesn't want to let me go, either. I'm only unsure if it's really me he wants to keep this close.

"I do want to keep kissing you..." Despite all my doubts, I assure him, leaning my chin on the top of his head. "God, I really want to do it…. but I want you to be sober… I want you to know what you're doing, Jazz…"

"I know what I'm doing." He says promptly, backing away a little but still not looking up at me.

"You do?" I ask insecure. "You're so drunk, I don't think you're quite conscious of…"

"The floor is so bright…" He murmurs out of the blue, covering his eyes with one of his hands, swaying a little backward. "My eyes kinda hurt."

And just like that, he throws a wet blanket on me.

Feeling my stomach churning and my heart skipping a beat, I sigh heavily and let my arms loosen their hold on his body. I don't let him go completely only 'cause I'm still afraid he will lose his balance, but I feel like I need some distance.

I was right. Since the beginning, I was damn right. He doesn't know, at all, what he's doing or saying…

My heart is pummeling in my feet.

Suddenly he looks up at me, his eyes huge.

"Help me get sober." He requires sweetly. "I want to remember."

I look at him, absolutely confused. He was just talking about the floor and now he's kind of resuming the previous conversation? What in the hell does it mean?

"What do you want to remember, Jay?" My question sounds as uncertain as I feel.

"Everything." He speaks slowly, his tone wavering.

I know he has no idea of what has just happened. He's so obviously drunk and unaware that it kinda hurts me. For a split moment, I hoped that he really knew he was with me, that it was me he was kissing, that that is what he wants to remember…

What a fool I am...

I take a deep breath and smile at him, just reaffirming to myself what I've known too well for so long… it doesn't matter how hard it is for me, I'll always do whatever he asks me to. So I lean in carefully, leaving a light kiss on his forehead.

"I'll help you sober up, so you can remember everything." I look at him once more, and unfortunately, I can't repress the tenderness that I know is clear in my gaze. "Everything you want to remember."

He smiles simply and nods, and once again I see myself giving in.

"You're a great friend, you know that, right?" He drawls ever more slowly. "You're my best friend."

"I know…" I answer softly. "C'mon. Let's do this." I hold him at arm's distance. "Are you okay to stand on your feet?" I ask and try to let him go but his body sways forward, so I have to hold him again. "Just put your hands on my shoulders."

"I don't feel really well…" He says, closing his eyes and frowning.

"Are you gonna be sick?"

"No, I'm just… dizzy…" He sighs and gets to his feet, supporting his weight on my arms that are still surrounding him. "I feel like I'm spinning…"

"Put your hands on my shoulders and hold tight." This time I demand.

He does as I say, and I take a deep breath before opening the fly of his pants and letting it fall down his legs.

And of course he's going commando… what are the odds for me to be spared?

Murphy's law pops up in my mind while I have a hard time trying to avert my eyes from his exposed nudity once more.

I can't help the thought of how well-endowed he is… and it isn't even in its upright state.

I shake my head and heave a sigh, pushing the thought away. I put Jasper under the spray and start the water. He flattens his hands on the tiled wall in front of him, closes his eyes, and bends his head.

I can't help but follow the water trail sliding down his back, wetting his perfect lean body, roaming everywhere I want so badly to touch… I know I need to look away from him soon, but I'm hypnotized.

I close and squeeze my eyes to break the trance.

"E…" His voice reaches me, weak and low, and I open my eyes instantly. "I think I'm about to pass out." He says and sways backward.

I step immediately into the stall, shoes and clothes be damned. I wrap my right arm around his back just as he collapses. One second of hesitation on my part and he would be bleeding all over the floor with an open head.

"Fuck." It comes out under my breath.

I carry him easily, his weight is not a problem for me. His bare wet body pressed against mine though… is a huge problem. But I take another deep breath and take him to his bed.

As soon as his head hits the pillow he starts to come to his senses. I rush to pick up some towels and wrap one around his hips.

"You're okay?" I ask softly as he sits up on the mattress.

He only nods, seeming a little off. His eyes are half closed and he's quiet.

I make quick work of drying his hair and torso and then I go through his closet, avoiding the thoughts of a distant past memory. I pick up some pajama bottoms and a T-shirt and go back to him.

"Raise your arms." I ask in a low tone. He obeys immediately.

I put the shirt on him, trying to figure out if he's better or worse. As soon as his upper body is covered, I take his sleep pants from the bed and sigh.

"Stand." I demand in a low tone.

Jasper looks up at my face, his a little affected. He doesn't seem sober at all, his head is swaying back and forth slightly, but his gaze is surprisingly intense.

"Edward…" He says in a questioning tone then pauses.

He takes a deep breath and stands without averting my gaze.

"What?" I ask while offering his pants to him.

He raises one leg, waiting for me to put it on for him, and I do. Then he raises the other. Once he's fully dressed, I sigh and face him fiercely.

"Do you wanna ask me something?"

Jasper nods but says nothing as he sits back on his bed. I wait a minute or two and we're staring into each other's eyes in silence.

But then it dawns on me that he's still very drunk. He has no clue of what he wants to say or ask, or even of what has happened between us.

I sigh and sit beside him.

"We'd better get to sleep. It's late." I say.

He says nothing, so I get up and go to the bathroom. I wash my face and take several deep breaths before going back to the room. Jasper is in the same place, in the same position I left him, looking aimlessly forward.

I take my wet clothes, shoes, and socks off and go into the closet again. I take one of Jay's shorts and put them on. I also take his air mattress and some bedding, then I go back to the room. Just some minutes later I'm lying down.

When I pull the blanket over me I hear his voice, deep and low.

"Are you angry at me?" He asks, his tone somewhat hurt.

I turn my head toward him.

"Why would I?"

He just shrugs, and I have to take my own conclusions on what he's referring to. I have no idea.

"I'm not." I assure him.

He huffs and it seems like he wants to say something, but he simply doesn't.

"Go to sleep. G'night, Jazz."

I turn my back to him and close my eyes, forcing myself not to think about the kiss.

I have to forget it. I have to because he's going to. I can't have that memory, not when I know it wasn't real. I have to erase everything and pretend nothing happened.

I keep talking myself into sleep until I'm out.

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.

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Carlisle Cullen's car, 2:13 PM. Some weeks later.

My dad and I are coming back home from the hospital.

I'm restless and sad. Just thinking about what happened yesterday makes me want to scream.

"You're awfully quiet." I hear my dad say. "Don't worry too much, he'll come around."

He knows what I'm thinking about, he can read me pretty well. Of course, being my confidant helps him, he knows what I've been going through, he's known all about it since the very beginning.

I look at him.

"He will." I say with a sigh. "But I don't know how to behave around him now. Things will get weird"

My father smiles without looking at me, nods, and sighs.

"You just need to be patient. He'll figure out about his feelings soon enough." His voice is calm as always.

"There are no feelings for him to figure out, dad…" I reply in a puff.

"Edward, he wouldn't have kissed you if he didn't have feelings for you."

I look away, a bit embarrassed. It's a bit weird to remember kissing Jasper and having my father mention it so naturally.

"He didn't know what he was doing that night." I reply controlling my tone. "He was so fucking drunk."

"Language…" My father's tone is stern.

"Sorry." Mine is ashamed. "What I mean is… he remembers nothing. He didn't seem aware of what he was doing or who he was with. And yesterday he was pretty clear. He feels uncomfortable with my feelings for him."

My father sighs, seemingly unaffected by my argumentation.

"First of all, have you ever heard about how alcohol diminishes our inhibitions? That people open up and show their true colors when they are totally drunk?" He looks at me and winks. "And second… his reaction yesterday… well, I think he was just shocked by what he's learned. After he has time to assimilate everything, things will start to fall right into place, you'll see."

I shake my head in disagreement and look outside the window, trying hard not to let my father's words sink in. I can't be hopeful, it'll just hurt me more. What I have to do is find a way to make it stop… I need to make my feelings for him go away.

An idea pops up in my mind, and suddenly I know exactly what I'll do.

.

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Cullen's house, 9 o'clock in the morning. Present moment.

As soon as I hear and internalize Jasper's words, time stops.

What feelings…? I thought he was talking about how he could deal with my feelings for him but…

Wait… what did he just say?

I can't feel my legs and I barely feel my face, I think all my blood rushed to my feet.

"Your… feelings…?" I hear myself asking but it's a weird sensation, as if I'm out of my own body. "For me…?"

I can see Jasper pursing his lips and frowning, but there's this loud buzz in my ears that's making me feel suddenly dizzy. So when he speaks again I have a hard time understanding what he's saying.

"... just because of me." His voice makes its way through the haze.

I heave a breath and shake my head subtly.

"Can you repeat that?"

Jasper sighs and looks away before coming closer. I feel my heart thunder when his hand comes to rest over my right one.

"Edward, you don't have to go anywhere or even give up on Rose. I can do this. I won't let what I feel for you hinder our friendship or your relationship with my sister."

"What do you feel for me?" I just blurt it out.

I see Jasper swallowing hard. I also see the resolve in his determined eyes.

I hold my breath involuntarily.

"So you really need to hear all the words." He kinda speaks to himself then sighs.

I nod, feeling the expectation burning inside me while Jasper clenches his jaw for an instant.

"I love you, Edward." His words break as soon as they are out, and his eyes are shimmering with tears. "I'm in love with you." He shrugs and his lips tremble.

In a second I gasp… and in the next one my right hand is wrapped around his neck and I'm pulling his face to mine.

Jasper gasps too, but as our lips meet he sighs like me and we close our eyes…

Suddenly everything makes more sense than ever in my mind.