"What has led you to become this way?"
A voice echoed, resounding through the corridors of Zouken's consciousness. Slowly, he blinked open his eyes, greeted by the sight of a man with flowing, ebony hair, standing amid the warm, yellow sand of the beach, the dense forest looming behind him.
A surge of recognition coursed through Zouken's mind as he realized the identity of the figure before him. It was Nagato Tohsaka, the revered First Head of the Tohsaka lineage. A subtle movement at the periphery of his vision drew his attention to another presence, cloaked in a pristine white robe that concealed her form. Even shrouded in the garment, Zouken couldn't mistake the identity of the woman who approached Nagato. It was Justeaze Lizrich von Einzbern, the esteemed Head of the Einzbern family, and the very person he cherished more than anything else.
As the scene unfolded before him, it triggered a flood of long-buried recollections. This was the genesis, where everything had truly begun. The inception of the Holy Grail War, the manifestation of his lifelong ambition, in collaboration with the Tohsaka and Einzbern families. It was here that, with the aid of the enigmatic Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg the Magician of Second Magic, Zouken had set forth the framework of the "Master" and "Servant" system, while Nagato, in a show of allegiance, had contributed the vast expanse of Fuyuki City. Justeaze, instrumental in her own right, had devised and established the intricate Heaven's Feel system, offering the homunculi vessels that would serve as the vessel for the Grail itself, ultimately becoming the very core of the Great Grail. Her sacrifice had transcended the bounds of mortal limitations as she integrated herself into the very magic circuit of the Holy Grail.
In this profound moment of remembrance, a torrent of clarity washed over Zouken's consciousness. He recollected the very reason he had clung to life for centuries, the purpose driving his obsession with attaining immortality. It wasn't merely for the pursuit of power; it was to fulfill a dream, one that had fuelled his existence all these years. His unwavering ambition had sought to bring about a utopia where hatred and suffering were eradicated, and where a world of harmony and peace would emerge. But above all, it was driven by a profound commitment to ensure that her sacrifice, Justeaze's sacrifice, would never be in vain.
As the flood of realization enveloped him, Zouken was confronted with the stark truth of the abyss he had plunged into. It was a confronting acknowledgment of the myriad atrocities he had perpetrated, all in the relentless pursuit of ambitions that had long dissipated into the shadows of time. The weight of his monstrosity bore down upon him, an oppressive burden that ignited within him a sensation he had long forgotten: remorse.
"It seems there's a glimmer of hope left within you," a gentle voice interjected, drawing Zouken out of his introspection. Startled, he turned to find Berserker standing by his side, his tranquil countenance carrying an air of serene understanding.
Keeping a wary distance from the enigmatic Servant, Zouken instinctively sought to maintain a safe space between them. As he created some space, the Head of the Matou family regarded the Heroic Spirit of Madness with cautious scrutiny, his mind awash with a torrent of questions. Berserker remained motionless, a silent sentinel in the expanse of Zouken's consciousness.
Sensing the tumult of inquiries brewing within Zouken's mind, Berserker took it upon himself to break the silence. "I sense there are many queries stirring within you," Su's voice reverberated gently, cutting through the silence. "Allow me to shed light on the answers you seek the most." With a sense of solemnity, Su continued, "This is not reality, Zouken. This is a manifestation of your subconscious, an exploration of the recesses of your mind."
Upon hearing Berserker's words, Zouken's initial inclination was to dismiss this surreal experience as a mere illusion. However, it didn't take long for him to recognize the fallacy behind that reasoning. Illusions were ineffective against the ever-present swarm of insects comprising his existence. There was another layer to this enigma, something he couldn't easily dismiss.
Then it struck him—a fragment of what the Servant had just revealed about the subconscious. The puzzle pieces clicked into place in his mind, widening his eyes in a sudden revelation. He contemplated the possibility. "This is my mind?"
Su's mouth curled slightly, a hint of affirmation present in his expression. "Correct," he confirmed, acknowledging Zouken's realization.
Zouken could only stare in disbelief at the Servant's confirmation. The ability to manipulate the mind was certainly not characteristic of a typical Berserker-class Servant. Zouken mulled over this, perplexed by the revelation. He couldn't help but reflect on the fact that he should have noticed the anomaly earlier, particularly when Kariya had summoned this Heroic Spirit, with his serene and tranquil demeanor, so distinct from the typical Berserker disposition.
Then again it's not like there's something he can do about it now, is there? The ability to manipulate the mind itself is indeed rare, though not entirely unheard of. Zouken was well-versed in spells that could exert some influence over the target's consciousness, and he was aware of potential counters. However, he could sense the method employed by Berserker seemed to operate on an entirely different level, surpassing any mental manipulation he had encountered before.
As Zouken grappled with the implications, a sense of resigned acceptance settled within him. "Are you here to punish me?" Zouken inquired, his words tinged with a blend of resignation and curiosity.
Su's expression turned serious, a slight shift in his demeanor that caught Zouken off guard. "I don't have the intention to punish you," Su stated firmly, his words resonating with an unexpected gravity. Zouken was taken aback by this proclamation, his curiosity piqued. Su continued with unwavering resolve, "Punishment is intended for individuals to reflect on their actions. I am here to discern whether you truly regret what you have done or not. Following that, I will make the decision to either aid you or bring about your end."
The seriousness behind the Servant's voice caused Zouken to flinch, taken aback by the unexpected turn of events. However, one particular statement caught his attention. "Did you say you want to aid me?" Zouken's voice carried a note of uncertainty as he sought to confirm what he had heard.
"Yes, I do," Su affirmed, his resolute expression leaving little room for doubt. "The very fact that you harbor remorse for your actions signifies the possibility of redemption, a chance for salvation that I am unwilling to give up."
The weight of Su's offer bore down on him, a torrent of conflicting emotions welling up within. "What do you mean you want to aid me?! Are you blind to the atrocities I have committed? Justice must be served for the countless victims of my transgressions!"
Su calmly listened to Zouken's impassioned outburst, allowing the tirade to run its course before offering a measured response. "Answer me, Matou Zouken," Su began, his voice steady. "Do you desire punishment because you believe it to be just, or is it that you cannot bear the thought of evading retribution for your actions?" The question hung in the air, casting a weighty silence over the scene. Zouken found himself rendered speechless, unable to muster a response to Su's piercing inquiry. "A swift death would be a merciful release, and while I could subject you to endless torment for your deeds, it is not within my nature to do so," Su continued, closing the distance between them. "Besides, it's not as though I require such measures." With each step, Su's presence seemed to fill the space around Zouken, his words a resolute declaration. "The weight of guilt for your transgressions, the burden of your actions—these are the penance you must bear for the remainder of your days. That, in itself, shall be your retribution."
Berserker halted a few meters away from Zouken, his fuchsia-colored eyes with green pupils fixed on the Head of the Matou family, resembling a judge delivering a final sentence to a criminal.
"Kill me," Zouken muttered, his voice a barely audible plea, as Su stood unwavering not far from him. "If you intend to let me live, just forget it. I will end up committing the same atrocities again. Even if I regret my actions now, there's no telling if my future self will remain the same."
Su's eyes slightly widened in comprehension before he responded, "Is this about the degradation of the soul over time?"
Zouken nodded solemnly. "The soul serves as the blueprint for both the mind and the body. There's only so much time before a soul begins to decay, ultimately corrupting the blueprints of both body and mind. And my soul has long since turned rotten. I don't understand what you've done to allow me this moment of clarity, but I doubt it will last."
"Then, what if there is a way to preserve the mind despite the decay of the soul? Would your answer still be the same?" Su inquired. "This is more of a theoretical possibility, but based on the memories I've gleaned, I have a vague understanding of potential loopholes within the interplay of the soul, mind, and body."
Zouken regarded the Berserker for a moment, contemplating the weight of his words before finally responding, "If there is a purpose for me to continue living? Even if I spend my days burdened by guilt, striving to perform as many acts of redemption as I can, it won't ever erase the wrongs I've committed."
"You are right, our actions can never fully expunge the sins of our past," Su acknowledged, his tone filled with understanding. "But I can assure you that a life spent in the pursuit of atonement is not without meaning. While our good deeds may not undo our past, they carry a significance that transcends mere absolution." The weight of Su's conviction was not lost on Zouken, who found solace in the Servant's words.
"So, what would your answer be?" Su inquired, the question lingering in the air like a gentle reassurance.