An uncomfortable anxioisness drove Hikari that morning as she went about her choes. She was sure it was about Shinji. I basically told him I liked him last night. What's going to happen in class today?

She suddenly noticed Kodama staring at her while she was making breakfast. Hikari asked, "What?"

Kodama sighed with frustration and said, "I said don't forget Nozomi's parent teacher meeting today. You can't waste time at school if you're going to make it on time."

Hikari blinked again with surprise. "What? When did you tell me this was happening?"

"Yesterday! At dinner!" Kodama stared a moment at Hikari's shocked face and seethed. "I knew you would forget, I just knew it."

"Kodama I have a lot going on right now."

"Well, maybe if you didn't stay up all night talking to people, you'd remember things better!"

Hikari reeled back with a slow gasp, going pale as she did.

Kodama was recoiling herself from being that direct. Her eyes brushed past the clock. She didn't have time to fix things. "I'm sorry Hikari…. I have to go. Well talk later."

Hikari said nothing as Kodama fled the house. The girl just stayed in her place in the kitchen, feeling the hole of shame that was vaporized through her emotions that morning.

Misato watched the antics of the children under her care as they prepared to go to school. Shinji was struggling to start the day while Asuka, uncharacteristically present and domineering, commanded Shinji around the house. An example: "Do the rice right this time, it came out chewy yesterday."

"But I did it the way I always do!"

"Well, yesterday it came out wrong! And don't give me fish today, I want ham again."

"Uh… we're out, Asuka, I'll have to get some on the next grocery trip. All we have is fish."

Misato sipped her beer as she side-eyed Shinji being accosted by the indignant redhead.

Asuka said, "What? I'm not taking some of that bird's stuff. What else do we have?"

"See for yourself. It's not a secret or anything."

She opened the fridge, scanned the contents, and pointed. "You DO have meat in here! What's this?"

Shinji raised his head to glance tiredly at the pack of beef Asuka was holding up. He wondered how she was having this energy. "That's for dinner. Put it back."

"You can't just make part of it?"

"Uh, no."

"Why not? Are you choosing to be obstinate or is there some other reason?"

"Asuka…. Please, not this morning. I'm tired."

"You're tired every morning, why can't you answer a simple question?"

Misato interjected just then, "Perhaps you should give Shinji a moment to think of an answer before asking him something else."

Asuka whirled to Misato as Shinji sighed at the stove. "There you go again, running to the defense of the infallible Shinji!"

Misato smirked, "No, I'm a guardian breaking up an argument. What's on your mind this morning, Asuka?"

"Why does that matter? Why do you care?"

"You're badgering him like an angry housewife." Misato said, then added with a knowing smirk, "So what's going on?"

Asuka started to inflate with indignation but Shinji interrupted her. "I forgot to bring her lunch to school on Monday. She's just making sure I do it this time."

"I see. For a moment there I thought there was a special reason why Shinji had your attention this morning."

Asuka, blushing angrily, barked, "There is nothing happening between us, Shinji's just being an stupid dork and I need to make sure he does his job!"

"Suuure, Asuka." Misato replied with a grin in her tone.

Red in the face, Asuka turned in a huff. "Just tell me when you're leaving Third, so I can go with you!"

After she stomped off to her room, Shinji sighed deeply. "I don't get it," he muttered, "First she won't give me the time of day, now she won't leave me alone. What's going on?"

Misato replied, "Women are capricious, confusing creatures Shinji. You'd better get used to it."

Hikari and Rei queued up in Shinji's mind. "But not all girls are like Asuka."

"I didn't say that they were." Misato replied, "Everyone is different, but confusing all the same."

Shinji sighed as he felt the concept slip beyond his understanding. He returned to the task of finishing the bentos.

Misato asked then, "How is school going?"

"Uh? Oh, fine! Why?" Shinji asked.

"No special reason, just curious. I haven't had the chance to talk with you a lot recently, since i got busy."

Shinji smiled a little. "Things are going well. I'm still getting help from the class rep to, uh, get through this essay."

"I haven't forgotten your grades." Misato said flatly, but then added pleasantly, "I'm glad she's helping you! That means you have a good class rep."

"Mmh!" Shinji nodded in acknowledgement. "Yes, she works really hard!"

"Great! If you bring your grades up, maybe we can celebrate."

"Really?"

Misato smiled and nodded.

After the two teens left Misato stayed at the kitchen table for a moment as she stared into space, lost in thought as she recalled a conversation from yesterday.

Ritsuko began spontaneously from behind her desk: "Section two had something interesting for the commander that you might want to know about."

It had been ages since Misato heard about them. Not since the early days of the Angel battles. She asked, "What is it? Something about Shinji?"

"Yes. What do you know about the class rep, Hikari Horaki?"

"Nice, homely girl. Friends with Asuka. Where are you going with this?"

"Shinji been seeing her almost every day since last Tuesday. Section two flagged it as an anomaly. Nothing threatening, but the commander asked me to inquire. Do you know anything about what's going on?"

Misato averted her eyes. "Shinji's allowed to make friends. Besides, she's tutoring him. What's wrong with that?"

"Nothing. It's just out of the norm for him to go from virtually no contact to having an involved conversation with her almost everyday. I only wanted to ask if you noticed."

Misato bit into her toast. She stared across the table at the two vacant chairs opposite of her. The subtle reminder that she was a mediocre guardian bothered her. Shinji could get into trouble, and I wouldn't even notice.

Her eyes slid to Asuka's seat.

Hikari's emotional roller coaster ride got more intense as the day went on. She ay into her duties to clear her mind of the drama in her personal life. It worked for Dad, and it almost worked for her.

She got an emotional high when Shinji entered. Then she saw the predatory look in Asuka's eyes, and a conflucting wave of doubt, indignation, and guilt washed over her. Asuka's look wasn't trained on Hikari, but it made her wonder if Asuka knew about the conversation between her and Shinji last night. She doubted it, but, how could she be sure?

Shinji at least smiled at her and she smiled back. That gave her a high to get through the rest of the morning.

When lunch came and Shinji left with Suzuhara and Aida to go to the roof, as usual. Hikari watched him go before Asuka landed in the seat beside her as if yesterday hadn't happened. Asuka popped open her bento saying, "Stupid sun. Any brighter and I'll need to come to school with sunglasses."

Hikari side-eyed her friend. Part of Hikari's focus this morning was to prepare for A Discussion. Asuka's suggestive innuendo and commandeering the tutoring session couldn't stand withour being addressed. "Asuka, we need to-"

"You might want to go easy on that idiot, by the way." Asuka interrupted her.

"Excuse me?"

"Shinji. He was crying all night. I think it finally dawned on him how hopeless his paper is."

Hikari blinked as her emotions tumbled. Asuka had heard part of the conversation, and Shinji was crying for the night? Why?

When Asuka cast Hikari a glance the class rep blinked back to her senses. "Um…well, I can't offer any exceptions. This is why I need to tutor him, uninterrupted."

Asuka winked playfully at her. "Sure you do."

"Asuka, it's my responsibility to as I this as Class rep!" Hikari said. Taking a breath she said, "I don't like what you're suggesting. I'm tutoring Shinji like i'm supposed to, nothing more."

Asuka reeled back a little. "Relax, it's just a joke." Digging at her rice with her fork, she said, "The only reason you'd get offended is if it was true. It isn't, so why do you care?"

Though Hikari had some relief that Asuka didn't seem to suspect anything, she was suddenly very exhausted from it all. The hiding, the transgressions and tensions. "I've… i've been pretty stressed lately, I'm sorry."

"If I tutor Shinji that's one less thing you have to do."

Hikari sighed. "I keep telling you, this is my job. Besides, you just argued with Ikari the whole time yesterday. How would other days be any different?"

Asuka huffed indignantly. "It's not my fault he's a stubborn, pig-headed student."

Pot, kettle, black Hikari thought. She brushed it aside to say, "That doesn't matter. You need to have patience if you're going to teach someone. You have to put in the effort anyway, regardless of the outcome."

Asuka said, "So I take it Shinji doesn't listen to you either since his paper's so lousy?"

"I didn't say that." Hikari replied, "And he isn't finished. I and Mr. Mikasa will judge his performance when he turns his paper in. Please stop bad mouthing Ikari."

Asuka snorted and turned away from Hikari to bite at her lunch.

Hikari tried to offer a concession. "If you like you can offer to tutor him on the off days. But I must for Tuesday and Thursday until his grades improve."

Asuka didn't respond, and Hikari stopped talking. The rest of lunch they ate in awkward silence.

The instant class was over Hikari's heart started to race. Now she could talk to Shinji. In person.

She started to rise but was interrupted by one of the other students addressing her by her title with a question about the essay. Hikari had to hold her friendly, available class rep mask on while she answered it. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shinji waiting for her, and her pulse went up.

She needed to find something for Seto. She hurried through the files as she did, but once she handed the sheet to Seto, she looked up and Shinji was gone. Rei and Asuka were also missing.

Hikari's earnestness left her like water down a drain. She stood alone in the class holding the disappionment of missing him, since it was likeky he had been called away on NERV business. She couldn't interrupt that.

Then she blinked and looked at the clock. "Nozomi," Hikari realized, and rushed to pack up and go to her sister's school. It was at least a kilometer away through several traffic stops.

Shinji sighed while he walked with Asuka on their way to the base. Ayanami had informed them last minute of this upcoming test they were off to perform. Shinji missed his chance to talk to Hikari.

Asuka, of course, had complaints. "I wish these things would be more regular. Why do they want a sync test now? Some of us have homework to do!"

On that note, Shinji turned his head to Rei. "Ayanami, how is your paper going?"

The girl didn't look at him as she said, "I am having difficulty adjusting it."

Asuka cocked an eyebrow. "Adjusting? What does that mean?"

"Ikari expressed last week that my premise was confusing. I am trying to find a way to re-frame my paper to communicate my central idea better."

Asuka harrumphed, saying, "No surprise there. Shinji's the wrong person to ask to discuss complicated subjects."

Rei side-eyed Asuka and frowned, but Shinji said, "Asuka, Maybe you can listen to Ayanami's paper and offer some suggestions? You do have a college degree."

Both girls were silent in a way that suggested Shinji had just stepped on their faces, or similar. He detected the faux-pas, though he didn't know what exactly he did. "Uh… sorry…"

Asuka harrumphed and incerased her lead a few steps. Ayanami asked then, "How is your paper progressing, Ikari?"

"Slow." Shinji admitted, "I've found some data…. but I don't know what the conclusion should be. I was hoping to ask the class rep when she's tutoring me."

Asuka turned around to walk backwards, barking, "You still haven't figured that out yet? That's central to the assignment, idiot! How can you get by collecting research when you don't know what point you're making!?"

"I-i was trying to figure it out as I went! Leave me alone."

Asuka huffed and turned around only to increase her lead further. Shinji sighed and uttered, "I wish she wasn't so hard on me. I'm trying… but… Its difficult coming up with what I want to say."

Rei asked, "Are the facts not sufficient?"

Shinji shook his head. "This is different. I… I want to say something important with it." He sighed, "I just don't know what."

"Is it something pertaining to your relationship to the commander?"

Shinji glanced at Rei but she was still staring ahead as they walked. Shinji finally nodded and said,"Y-yes. The class rep helped me find that idea… but I…"

Shinji thought about Hikari's warm encouragement again. It was motivating, but where could it take him?

"Have you tried speaking to the commander?" Rei asked.

The usual sting of fear and loathing when he considered his father touched Shinji again. He took a breath to brush it off- a practiced reflex then. He also realized, this being October, that a specific date was coming up. "No… but… I might have to. Soon."

Rei did not ask to elaborate and Shinji didn't want to just then. His mind was many kilometers away, on a barren plain lined with thin tombstones under a bleaching sun.

Hikari had met Nozomi's instructor only once at the beginning of the year. The previous teacher conference for the term had to be canceled as the instructor was sick, so this was the first time since school started that Hikari got to converse with Ms. Tsugaru.

Being a class rep and interacting with several instructors on Mr. Mikasa's behalf prepared Hikari to deal with different kinds of teachers. The clean, orderly office was her first warning. The second were the dry text books shelved into the wall behind her. In the small moment Hikari had to perform introductions, she knew there would be no reprieve here. It was going to be another battle.

Her expectations came true in the opening broadside. Ms. Tsugaru remarked, "...so unfortunate your mother couldn't be here to have this conversation. We must speak of matters of discipline."

Hikari hardened her face and loaded herself up for this fight. She had them before, from obstinate adults who treated her like a hapless child, and had learned over time that there was no compromising with some of them. There was a 50/50 chance she would be heard if she held her ground. Capitulating rarely won the respect Hikari was seeking with these kinds of adults.

"Our mother passed away eight years ago." Hikari said, "And my father is unable to take leave. I am responsible for Nozomi's instruction at home. What is it we need to discuss?"

Sometimes the shock of knowing how hard off the kids were was enough to elicit leniency, but Ms. Tsugaru seemed unmoved. Of course. "Well, that explains things." She said.

Hikari, anger in her eyes, said, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Ms. Tsugaru ignored her. "Your sister's conduct has been bordering on truancy. Some of her offenses include eating during instruction, interrupting lecture with pointless tangents, and inciting a class brawl."

Nozomi interrupted then, "That's not true, it's not my fault Usso was-"

Hikari turned her head. "Nozomi, not now!"

The girl was giving a wide eyed, pleading denial towards Hikari, but shut down and turned away under her sister's gaze. Hikari felt bad, but now was not the time.

Ms. Tsugaru continued, "Unless Nozomi's behavior is remedied by the end of the week, I will see to it that she is suspended. I don't need to remind you, class rep, what this will mean for her future."

Hikari set her face with angry resolve, but nonetheless bowed in her seat. "I apologize profusely for my sister's behavior. I will speak with her to ensure the behavior ceases immediately."

Ms. Tsugaru was unmoved. "End of the week." The woman toned.

A few minutes later the two of them were walking away from Nozomi's school. Suddenly the little girl blurted, "You didn't stand up for me at all!"

"Why should I? You're being a pest in school!" Hikari leaned into the release of frustration against her sister's annoyances. "If you think I'm going to excuse this behavior, you've got another thing coming!"

Nozomi stared at the pavement, hurt in her eyes as she uttered, "You don't even care about my side of the story. Nobody listens to me."

Hikari at first dismissed her sister's remarks as whining, but then she checked her assumption and came to a stop. "What do you mean?"

Nozomi kept walking. "Nothing. I'm going home."

Hikari stayed rooted on the pavement while her sister walked away. Hikari felt even worse now, not only for ignoring her sister then giving into her own frustratuons, but doing so caused much damage there was no chance of fixing things right then. She argued constantly with Nozomi… for the first time this school year she questioned why that was.

It may be too late already to fix things, Hikari thought. The little girl's strides were firm and her knuckles were white against the straps of her backpack.

Hours later and still bothered, Hikari was in her room before she went downstairs to start making dinner. She wore house clothes now, and the beaded hair ties were on her dresser as she combed her hair. She stared into her own eyes as she did, lost in the thoughts of so many things.

She heard the front door open and glanced at the clock. Dad wasn't due to come back until later, so it must be Kodama. Hikari was at her bedroom door when she heard her sister from downstairs. "I'm home."

Hikari opened her door to call out, "Welcome home!" Then she stepped outside into the carpet which still stank of water damage. She sighed as she remembered then that she'd have to start calling around to get a quote for repairs. There wasn't anyone else who could, after all.

Hikari started coming down the steps. By the time she found Kodama, her older sister was pulling a bottle out of the restricted cabinet... the one dad kept his liquor in. Hearing the creek of the step Kodama tried putting the bottle back but was too late as Hikari came in. Kodama's eyes met Hikaris's when she said, "Don't tell Dad."

"Kodama…" Hikari said, aghast. "What happened?"

Kodama finished pouring herself a drink then replaced the bottle. Holding the glass in hand she sighed while the other rubbed her face. Hikari glanced at her then started unpacking the table to get more counter space for preparing dinner. Finally Kodama said, "Did I tell you about that guy from school who thinks he's the perfect match for me?"

Hikari thought for a moment then said, "Yes." She glanced at her sister. "Did he do something?"

"He knows where I work now." Kodama said. "He told me today, he's proud he figured it out! He says he wants to stop by every day to have lunch or dinner at my restaurant. If management finds out, they're gonna keep putting me in front of this guy to try getting business, since his dad is well connected at NERV."

Hikari said, "But that's harassment! You should quit over this!"

"Not unless you can cough up twenty thousand yen a year to make up for it." Kodama sighed then said, "If I didn't have school I would have the time to apply elsewhere. But we need the money and if I want any hope of being something other than a pair of breasts in a waitress costume, I have to complete my education. Things are too high stakes for me to quit. I can't."

She downed her glass and turned to wash it in the sink. Finished, she sighed and said, "I have homework to do. Tell me when dinner's ready."

Hikari watched her sister go, then sighed as she resumed preparing to cook. An unbidden thought came to her just then: why was she worried about Kodama? Her entire family was focused on themselves, why should she care about trying to help?

Then she felt guilty for that selfish thought. Especially when her sister was doing literally everything she could for her future and securing the present of her family.

The knowledge she had failed both of her sisters in sone way dragged Hikari into silence as she worked on dinner.

The long evening of Shinji Ikari was nearing its end, at least. He was cleaning up dinner dishes in silence. Misato was watching TV. Asuka had moved off to get room, likely doing homework.

Asuka's synch ratio remained above his during the test for reasons that were unclear. When Shinji had asked doctor Akagi to explain, Asuka had interrupted to say, "natural talent, obviously!" The point was never revisited.

He spent the car ride listening to Asuka congratulate herself for that rebound, spent dinner listening to Asuka argue with Misato over some suggestion Misato was slacking at her job, then went through dinner hearing Asuka's recounting of the disastrous "tutoring" session yesterday. Shinji was too tired to offer any corrections.

He finished the dishes and was about to head into the bathroom when Misato called out, "Are you free Shinji?"

"Uh, yeah, why?"

"Don't forget to take garbage put and- oh!" Misato got up from the TV to disappear into her room, leaving Shinji hanging in the kitchen. The moment dragged on, leaving him without anything to do while he waited on his guardian. Shinji's patience ran out and he was about to step into the bathroom when Misato emerged with some envelopes. "Take these to the mailbox for me?"

Shinji took them. The request was simple since the mailboxes were on the first floor along with the trash. He was confused about the letters though. "What are these?"

Misato replied, "Coupon mailers. I get a refund if I send in 20!"

Shinji counted the envelope. "You've been hoarding coupons?"

"Uh-huh! And now it's time to cash in!" Misato replied. She walked back to the living room, saying, "Do one envelope at a time so they don't jam up! Thank you Shinji!"

Shinji sighed as he held the envelopes, glanced at the curtain into the bathroom, then turned to collect the trash for disposal. He looked over his shoulder as Penpen entered the bathroom behind him.

The errand took a while as he hauled the garbage bags to the elevator and went down. Placing the garbage was easy, but even fitting one letter at a time in the mailbox was tricky because of how thick Misato packed them. He was pretty sure one of the envelopes tore as he pushed it through the slot, making him sigh at the inconvenience he just gave to the mail person.

He made it back to the apartment in time to see Asuka pushing the curtain into the bathroom aside while holding the basket she used for her laundry. He grumbled at this, knowing that Asuka waited until the last minute to present clothes to be washed and she'd raise hell if he didn't. He mentally noted how this would impact his schedule and sighed. Either his bath would need to be pushed to later or he needed to do laundry after when he was ready for homework, then bed.

He decided to do the bath first, waiting for Penpen to clear before cleaning the tub and using it for his bath. Predictably Asuka thumped on the door to ask what was taking so long, with his response a promise to get out soon. No time to himself.

He got out, Asuka got in, he started laundry as he sighed his way to his room. He still had to wrestle with homework. Yawning for the third time, he remembered he needed to hang the clothes to dry. Once he was done it was time for bed and he was spent.

He was nearly prepared to pass out as He lay in bed with his lights off, but something remained undone. He finally had a moment free to call who he wished. He leaned up from his bed to glance at the clock on his desk, then crashed back on to the mattress. "Its probably too late, she must be-"

The phone vibrated in his hand. Someone was calling him! His nerves soared with anticipation as he answered. "H-hello?"

"Shinji?" Hikari's voice asked. "I hope it isn't too late…"

"No! Not at all! I was actually wondering if I should call you. I didn't get a chance to talk to you today, I had NERV stuff. I was busy for most of the afternoon."

"Oh! So was I… I had to go to my sisters school for something. Then everything else happened… you know how it is."

"Heh, yeah." Shinji replied, the weariness in body agreeing with him.

Hikari paused on her end before saying, "Do you have some time? I… I need someone to talk to. It's been a really stressful day and I just need to tell someone. You don't have to do anything about it, just listen."

"Uh… sure! Anything!" Shinji replied.

When it occurred to Shinji to check the time next, it was almost ten. "Uh-"

Hikari caught the pause, checked the time herself, then stammered, "i-its ten? I need to sleep!"

"So do i!"

Amused, Hikari smiled on her end and said, "How come this keeps happening to us? First the grocery store, then when I came over… we keep looking track of time."

"I guess we're having too much fun just talking?"

"I guess." Hikari replied, but Shinji heard the smile in her voice. "Shinji?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for listening. I know it's not much… but... I really don't have anybody to talk to like this. It... it can get lonely sometimes."

Shinji again felt her remark matched his experience to a eerie degree."I know what thats like... uhm..."

"Yes?"

"...when you told me that I was more than just Eva piloting… that meant a lot to me. Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before. I… i liked it."

"Im glad!" Hikari replied warmly over the phone. Then after a pause, she said, "We should get some sleep. Tommorrow is early for both of us."

"Y-yeah… I'm… um… I'll see you tommorrow!"

"Goodnight Shinji!"

"Goodnight."

Shinji closed the phone, then made a long sigh while his hands drifted to the mattress. He felt warm all over. He hadn't felt like this before. Something was happening to him and Hikari... but what?

He lifted his dominant hand and looked at it. She had been moving closer to the center of his private thoughts, but was there more there than the disgusting appropriation he indulged in? "Do I… like her?" Shinji asked.

More than the curiosity surrounding Rei. More than the wanton lust he felt for Asuka and Misato. This was something else, desiring the presence of someone over necessarily their body and appearance. The class rep wasnt sexy in the conventional sense, but Shinji did find her pretty in a homely way. Somehow, he found that disarming. With the stresses of Eva and everything else in his life, maybe thats why he found her so reassuring.

The tissues were within arms' reach. He imagined himself on a date with her where nothing went wrong. Unlike fantasies with Asuka, this one didn't feel implausible.

a/n: October was a pretty busy month, and for some reason this chapter needed extra reworks to polish it.

reviews and comments welcome!