Severus watched the girl in shadow as she tossed and turned.

The Monitoring Charm he'd placed on the room had notified Severus of movement around midnight. He'd swept in and Disillusioned himself in the corner, watching Miss Evans twist in the sheets, moaning and muttering nonsense as she slept. He tried to make out words, most of them stop and please, but he already knew there would be nothing but nightmares.

Severus knew what it was. It was the reason he hadn't been sleeping, either.

It had been plaguing the girl day and night — but it was more than that, somehow. It had awakened something in Miss Evans that Severus would have rather seen left buried in the past, though he could only imagine what hearing your mother's voice as she was murdered did to one's mind, did to one's soul. It had left Severus' in shreds, and it was beginning to drive him a bit mad that he could not shield her from this.

He was at least thankful Miss Evans had managed to hear Lily before the Dementors, that she'd heard her mother's comforting words in the memories she'd left behind instead of her final scream of terror first —

His breathing had quickened alongside the girl's. He shoved the thought behind his Shields, letting the walls barricade against everything he longed to purge from himself as Miss Evans sat up suddenly with a sharp gasp. Her hand flew over her mouth as she lurched forward, squeezing her eyes shut as she drew in a great shuddering breath. She reached for her wand but stopped mid-motion, burying her face in her hands.

He tensed, waiting for her to call for him, but she didn't — she never did. Instead, she took another deep, shaky breath and laid her head back on the pillow so that she was staring at the ceiling. Her eyes closed and Severus felt a swell of something — it might've been pride, but it was so unfamiliar and fleeting that he didn't have time to ponder it — as he watched her Occlude.

Her expression smoothed over, like moonlight on a lake, her eyelids fluttering.

The girl rolled to her side. After what felt like an eternity, the Charm indicated that she'd fallen asleep again, but it would blink and chime every few minutes or so that she'd woken up, the muttering and murmuring beginning anew.

Severus, still Disillusioned, moved closer. Her jaw was clenched, eyebrows furrowed. Lily had grinded her teeth when she slept, especially when she had been stressed. She'd come down to the Great Hall in the morning with headaches from the strain.

He thought of Lily's face as she massaged her neck and jaw, watching her expression light up when he'd handed her a pain-relief potion he'd made himself to target the inflammation. Picturing that beaming face of light, the golden fall glow on her auburn hair as her green eyes sparkled, the breathless little laugh as she shook her head — how do you do it, Sev? You didn't have to go through all that trouble for me.

He waited until Miss Evans' breathing became deep and even again before he whispered. "Expecto Patronum."

The doe bounded gracefully from the tip of Severus' wand as he backed away into the safety of the shadows once more. The doe stood still and looked at him for a moment, before Miss Evans sat up, wiping the sleep from her eyes, and squinting at the pale light. They immediately widened in recognition with a dazzling smile that made Severus' chest tighten.

"Oh," the girl whispered, moving to the end of the bed. "Oh, it's you."

Miss Evans reached her hand out and the doe nuzzled her palm with its snout before grazing her cheek. The girl let out a breathless little gasp that dissolved into laughter, her thin face illuminated by the glow of the doe. Severus stayed perfectly still, scarcely breathing.

There were tears on her cheeks, the light illuminating them like liquid diamonds. She stared at the Patronus for a long moment, her dark eyes alight with wonderment before the doe gave one final bow and began to fade.

"Wait, don't go," her voice cracked along the ones that lined Severus' own heart. "Wait —"

The room was plunged into darkness once more. The absence of joy was painfully present, the thing that lived between the spaces of Severus' heart. The girl began to weep, burying her face in her pillow.

She did not wake again.

A gloom had settled over Hogwarts, clouds rolling over the hills and blanketing the grounds. It rained pretty steadily for a few days, leaving the castle feeling drafty and unwelcoming. Ariel spent most of her time in Snape's quarters curled up by the fire, wasting the days away with books and brewing potions when Snape allowed her to. He'd started to restock the supply for the infirmary for the upcoming term and had let Ariel do some of the easier brews by herself (after passing a scathing inspection first, of course).

Snape hadn't said a word about the Patronus since Ariel had started her own research. Hermione hadn't written back yet either, which was a worrying sign that told Ariel that maybe she was in over her head, but she had a little less than a month until term began. She needed something to do, anyway, but the more she read about the Patronus Charm, the more confused and frustrated she became. This sort of magic was different than what she'd learned in school — even what Snape had shown her, too. The Defense magic had always been practical, based on form, intent, and execution. The Patronus was… something else, the kind of magic that settled in the hollows of your bones and the seams of your heart (or at least that was what one of the books had said, anyway).

(And she was determined to never hear Mum like that ever again, ever.)

"How am I supposed to know if I'm doing it right if you won't show me?" Ariel threw up her arms in exasperation one night, cornering Snape by his desk. He'd sat hunched over paperwork that looked a lot like bank statements, massaging his temple forcefully while Ariel huffed at him.

Snape regarded her with about as much interest as he would a slug, slicing his quill over the parchment like a carving knife. "The lack of a Patronus is a rather telling indication that you have not been successful."

Ariel ignored the sarcasm and pressed on. "How do you block out the stuff you don't want to think about?"

Snape put his quill down and leaned back in his chair, regarding Ariel with a raised eyebrow. "The idea is to find a singular memory that outside influence has not tainted. Anything otherwise would take a high level of skill to separate from emotionally."

"Like… Occlumency?"

He gave a brief nod. "To an extent, yes."

"So if I can separate and focus just on the good… that's what makes the Patronus?"

"It's not only the good —"

"The joy, I know, I know," she sighed. She flopped into a chair and balanced her wand on her pointer finger. "Everyone has happy memories. Why is it so difficult to cast?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Joy, as I've just stated, is harder to conjure. It is rarely truly experienced by most people."

Ariel began to think, much harder than she would've liked. She'd thought she'd been joyful loads of times — the first few days with the Weasleys at the Burrow, when Ron had tugged her hand forward and shown her the glittering sprites that lived in the river by the house, or when she'd opened the train compartment door to find that the girl she'd met in Diagon Alley was there. When she'd opened Mum's trunk for the first time and seen her parents' smiling faces beaming up at her, smelt the familiar scent of lavender and something else, something that didn't have a place, but a home.

The dream she'd had the other night of the doe that had visited her. A doe made of starlight and mist, a doe that somehow left the vault feeling even emptier.

She'd tried those memories, though, and they hadn't been enough.

"You have, though." Ariel said quietly. "You can cast it. You made it into a potion."

"I have," Snape said, his voice deceitfully soft, with a thinly veiled threat hidden beneath it, hidden between the syllables. Ariel knew better than to ask what Snape thought of — she figured she knew already, anyway. "If you're choosing memories that have been tainted, you are choosing the wrong memories."

"That's not it," Ariel sighed. "It's more of… focusing on it. I know how to Occlude and block out everything, but I can't make myself feel just the joy."

Snape shook his head, like she was a petulant child. "You're thinking too hard."

She pursed her lips in a tight line. "I thought I didn't think hard enough?"

He rolled his eyes. "The feeling of joy is not meant to be contemplated. It is not simply pleasure you are experiencing."

Ariel groaned, curling up in the chair. "How can I tell the difference if I don't have a point of reference?"

He gave her a long, hard look, something shifting in his black eyes. "Show me, then."

She blinked. "What, right now?"

"Are you being purposefully obtuse?" he stood up quickly, making Ariel jump up in surprise. "Yes, now, preferably before I change my mind."

Ariel felt her stomach squirm in anticipation, following him as he flicked his wand, the furniture moving against the walls to give them an open, empty space. She settled by the arm of a chair near the fire and watched him inspect the room, crooking a finger at her to join him.

She scampered over, letting out a yelp when he spun her around so that her back was to him. The force of his glare was enough to singe the hair on the top of her head as she lifted her wand, practicing the motion to herself.

"Stop," he said, almost immediately.

Ariel whirled around, jaw hanging open. "I haven't done anything!"

"Do you want my help or not?" she felt his hands on her shoulders, fingers curling into the blade below her neck. It was a comforting weight that made Ariel feel more grounded.

"Yes," she grumbled. "But what did I do wrong?"

"Your stance leaves much to be desired." he said this in a serious tone that made Ariel want to kick him in the shins.

"You're joking."

"Confidence, Miss Evans," Ariel could hear the eye roll in his voice. "If you don't believe you can do it, you never will."

She huffed and stood up straight, almost on her tippy toes, the handle of her wand curved into her palm. Closing her eyes, she let herself lean back a little, sneaking a glance up at Snape. He looked like a hawk from this angle, his nose sharp and severe, eyes hard in his marble face.

"That's a nice thing to say," Ariel pointed out, grinning up at him. Snape grabbed her head and shoved it back in place, making her stumble forward. "That was not."

"Focus," he bit out, but his hand lingered atop her head for a moment before moving back to her shoulder. Ariel recalled the kiss on the top of her head the other day and wondered if Sirius Black had broken into Hogwarts and stolen Snape's body or something — although, she supposed she would've been dead already, not feeling safer than she'd felt in a long time.

Snape tapped her right shoulder with a long finger, motioning to her wand. "Do you have a memory?"

She nodded jerkily.

"Describe it out loud."

Ariel squirmed, curling her toes into the floorboards. "That's… personal."

She craned her neck up at him to find Snape's eyebrow raised. "If you wish to improve your skills, you must learn to overcome your discomfort."

Ariel took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to recall a memory that wouldn't be too embarrassing to share. Although joy shouldn't be embarrassing, should it? It was more of the idea of Snape scoffing at something that had made her happy — like Ron or Hermione. She stood there for what felt like forever until a memory flooded back to her, one she hadn't thought of for a very long time.

"I'm — I'm on the Dursley's front porch," Ariel swallowed.

Snape's eyebrow raised even higher, but he remained silent, waiting for Ariel to continue.

She took a deep breath. "You — you were waiting for me to come out to the lawn, and you said I was foolish for being hesitant, but once I was at Hogwarts, I remember being... happy. I was away from the Dursleys, and it was the happiest I'd ever been. Even though I was a bit wary of you at first, I felt safe here — like this place could be my home."

Ariel opened her eyes and looked up at Snape again. He appeared to be deep in thought, his face a mask of emotionless contemplation. For a moment, Ariel wondered if he was angry or upset with her for bringing up that day, but then he spoke in a cool, collected voice.

"Try the Charm," he said.

When she lifted her wand, she noticed that her hand was shaking. She cursed under her breath and closed her eyes, finding the pinnacle of light within her, the joy she'd felt staring up at the castle and seeing the mountains beyond, the wind whistling through the trees and her hair as Snape had looked over his shoulder at her, something in his eyes —

"Expecto —"

The Blood Wards —

Ariel heard her breath catch — she needed to focus —

Tell me tell me what it said —

"Expecto Patronum!"

She opened her eyes. Nothing happened.

Her heart sank. She'd felt it — felt the joy bubbling up in her like a brew coming to a boil but it had been snatched away. She couldn't turn her brain off, couldn't keep out the voices that plagued her at night.

"Why can't I do it?" Ariel asked, her voice shaking slightly.

Snape rubbed at his temple as she turned to face him fully. "The memory was not strong enough."

"How do you know?"

"I knew before you opened your mouth. I could tell by your face."

"What, I didn't look joyful enough?"

His eyes narrowed. "Tell me what changed."

Ariel hesitated before answering. She knew what had changed, but she didn't want to admit that she couldn't keep Voldemort out, that she couldn't focus on one thing long enough without breaking, breaking like she'd broken the potion. "Nothing changed," she lied.

Snape didn't look convinced. "Miss Evans, I can sense when you're lying. Tell me the truth — otherwise, this is a waste of my time."

Ariel sighed. "I broke the Blood Wards that day —"

His face morphed, twisted, his expression of indifference claimed as Something Else emerged.

"I can't block him out." she continued in a very quiet voice, refusing to meet his eyes. "I don't know why. Hogwarts is the happiest I've ever been but he — he's touched all of it. All my memories — he's the reason I hear Mum —"

"You're letting him in because he created that doubt." Snape's voice hardened, and some of the anger leaked out of his face, pooling around them. "Everywhere the Dark Lord goes, death and destruction follow — everything he touches crumbles. He's seeped into the memories you're desperately trying to use in your favor. He planted that uncertainty. You must reach deeper to find what you need."

Ariel put some distance between them, hurt and anger burning at her heart, and it felt good. "I'm not doing this on purpose!"

Snape's lip curled, his expression the same one he had when Neville made a mistake in class. "You have to capture the exact feeling. The Dark Lord was not present at the memory you were using, but he would undoubtedly be joyful knowing he had taken yours. Thinking about the Blood Wards means your mind was not centered, not concentrated. I know that it is… difficult. I'm not denying that."

It is not your fault

Any of it

All of it

Her mouth opened and closed several times. "I can be happy," Ariel finally said in a smooth, toneless voice. "I'm not letting him do anything."

"Then show me." Snape crossed his arms expectantly — a challenge.

"Fine," she bristled. "I will."

Snape stepped away as Ariel's mouth set in a tight line — there was fire in her face, no longer hiding behind her eyes and clogging her throat. Ariel needed a flame to burn away the webs, anyway, needed to burn to smoke Voldemort out. She thought of her ocean dousing that fire, the smoke cleansing, not choking —

In the haze, she found that spark of joy that had lit her heart. Hogwarts stood in the distance as Ariel hurried after Snape, and he'd taken her arm and pulled her forward. When they'd gotten to the bottom of the path she'd stopped, like she had on the Dursley's steps and stood still, unable to comprehend what was happening. Snape had stormed down and without looking at her, said, "They will not hurt you again," and she'd —

"Expecto…" Ariel took a deep breath. "Expecto Patronum!"

The tip of her wand glowed, and something blossomed. It was gone as quickly as it had come, something else unfurling in the vault of Ariel's heart that was quickly reclaimed as the light disappeared.

Ariel swallowed, her throat tight. "Dammit," she mumbled, hanging her head low so Snape wouldn't see. He hated when she cried.

His fingers lifted her chin, his thumb swiping across her cheek, wiping away the tear that had escaped. Instead of disappointment, Snape looked… almost pleased. It was hard to tell since he never smiled, but he wasn't sneering. It wasn't indifference either, but his face was smooth as glass. It would've been unnerving if Ariel was so confused.

"To do even that much, at your age —" he broke off and let his hand drop. "Well done."

Ariel nearly fell over. "What are you talking about? That was nothing!"

"Now you hold yourself to high standards?" Snape shook his head and sighed, Summoning the furniture back to their respective places. "Most people will never even get that much, Miss Evans. It's a promising sign that you were able to produce anything before you've even started your Third Year. You want instant gratification, and the Charm does not work that way."

"By the time I do figure it out, the Dementors will be gone," she grumbled, falling into her armchair by the fire.

His eyes narrowed dangerously. "You had better not be planning on confronting them single handedly."

"I don't have a death wish, of course I'm not."

"You will be worse than dead." Snape snapped. "Alternatively, I will impose a punishment that will only make you wish you were."

She rolled her eyes. "Do you promise?"

His eyes flashed, a warning curling his mouth into a sneer. "If you are unable to take this seriously, I see no reason to continue monitoring your progress."

Ariel pulled her knees to her chest and glowered. "You know I am. I'm only doing it because of —"

Snape froze mid footfall, going as still as a statue. She clamped her mouth shut and looked away into the hearth, biting her tongue so hard that she tasted metal. Snape's expression shifted just a fraction, but it was enough for Ariel to notice.

He cleared his throat and resumed his usual stoic demeanor, picking up the papers he'd been rummaging through earlier. "Regardless of your motivation, you are making progress. And that is what matters."

Ariel nodded, grateful for the change in subject. "You're a good teacher when you're nice, you know."

He sniffed dismissively, picking up a quill and scribbling something on one of his scrolls. "I am not nice. I am simply more capable of tolerating your presence."

"Sure," Ariel couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. "That's it."

"Either way, I cannot teach you how to feel anything. That is your responsibility." Snape's voice was tight, and Ariel sensed that he was holding something back. She could only begin to imagine what, but she was tired.

She nodded mutely, setting her chin atop her knees, letting her wand roll over in her fingers. From time to time, she remembered what Ollivander had said to her in his wand shop. It is curious that you should be destined for this wand when its brother gave you that scar. She'd never told anyone that — not even Ron or Hermione — but sometimes, she wondered if it mattered. Ariel told herself it didn't, that Voldemort trying to kill her as a baby meant nothing, but ever since the vault had opened, she'd wondered. Voldemort couldn't possibly cast a Patronus. What if Ariel couldn't, either? What did that say about her, that she couldn't untangle her thoughts to focus on the good?

"You could alternatively wait for the potion to finish." Snape's eyes flickered to the classroom. "What you place on your heart — besides protection from backlash — is joy."

Ariel frowned, lifting her head. "That's cheating."

Snape actually looked dumbstruck, almost causing Ariel to laugh, before he deadpanned and scoffed. "It will give you a better indication of what you are looking to achieve."

"But I already know what it feels like."

"While the Potion is in effect, and you cast the Patronus…" Snape hesitated for a moment. "It will clear your mind. Occlumency would have the opposite effect — feeling nothing is obviously counterproductive. The Potion will relieve you from any of your more intrusive thoughts."

She shook her head. "I'm doing this on my own."

Snape made a noise of aggravation under his breath, slamming the parchment down on the desk. Ariel tensed, waiting for him to call her a dunderhead or an unmotivated brat, but instead, he bowed his head, shaking it slightly, almost to himself, and stalked into his classroom, shutting the door with a thud.

It was in that moment that Ariel wondered if Snape was telling the truth about being able to cast a corporeal Patronus if he would not show her.

Over the weekend, Ariel spent her mornings at the South Tower, continuing to try and cast a Patronus to no avail. She was growing increasingly frustrated, mostly with herself, but also with Snape, who still refused to show her his own.

She didn't know why it was a big deal, but she supposed that she shouldn't have been surprised. Dumbledore had told her once that Snape was an incredibly private man, and one's guardian-animal derived from happy memories sure didn't seem like something Snape would've shared with Ariel willingly.

It was still pretty annoying, though.

Ariel had channeled her inner-Hermione once more and made a list of happy memories to try. She'd been scratching down whatever came to mind, letting her stream of consciousness flow as the rain pattered against the roof and fell down in great drops from the rafters. Ariel shivered in her cloak and rubbed her hands together. The tower was drafty and cold but private, giving Ariel the space she needed to concentrate.

Hedwig had come to join her, perched on the thin railing keeping Ariel from plummeting to her death. Snape hadn't objected to her being up here, though, so she supposed she was safe enough. Hedwig was watching with wary yellow eyes, like she was waiting for Ariel to blow up the tower.

"You're not a very good audience if you're going to judge me." she told Hedwig, scratching her below her chin. "I'd like to see you try… although I'm sure you'd have no problems. You'd think of that rabbit you caught at the Dursleys and would be all set."

Hedwig hooted haughtily and nibbled at Ariel's fingertips.

"What do you think, girl?" Ariel sighed. "Think we'll have a breakthrough?"

She got a head tilt that she took for a maybe. Sucking in a deep breath through her teeth, Ariel unsheathed her wand from her sleeve and shot a couple of Stunners at the wall. Snape had suggested warming up with spells she knew, spells she could pop off without much thought to loosen up a bit. He'd shown her a few Blocking spells here and there. Ariel never would have admitted it, but she wondered if Snape would've actually made a decent Defense professor. He certainly knew a lot, and he was loads better at teaching that sort of magic than nitpicking potions.

After a few minutes, with Hedwig still watching cagily, like she was ready to take off at any moment, Ariel Summoned the parchment with the memories she'd jotted down. She'd kept the memory of arriving at Hogwarts with Snape because it was the only one that had shown some results so far but had managed to write down a couple of others as well.

The memory at the very top of the list was the one she had the most confidence in. It was of Ariel seeing Hermione waiting in the train compartment their First Year, waiting for Ariel. She had been so nervous that Hermione would've made friends already, after running into her outside of Ollivander's, but Hermione had waited. She'd sat all by herself, just for her.

Ariel decided on that one, practicing the motion a few times before she settled back on her heels. She listened to the patter of the rain against the roof of the castle, the low whistle of the wind and felt herself calm. Then, Ariel recalled bounding onto the Hogwarts Express with Ron behind her, waving back to Mrs Weasley and Ginny —

Ginny what's wrong Ginny you're not yourself Ginny —

She'd lost her footing as the train jerked forward with a start. Fred had caught her arm and helped her up before Ariel had smashed her face into the opposite door.

Not-Ginny's hand on Ariel's shoulder, shoving her forward and down into the depths —

Dudley would've let her fall, would've laughed while Aunt Petunia walked around her, sniffing about watching where she was going. Ariel's heart had been glowing with anticipation and gratitude as they'd shuffled down the cramped aisles looking for a seat. And then she'd spotted Hermione all alone, her eyes lighting up in that same thing Ariel had hoped for —

Hermione's eyes shining with tears — no he'll kill you —

Ariel squeezed her eyes shut, scrubbing her face with her hand. Everything he touches crumbles — you are letting him in — LET ME IN —

"DAMMIT!" she shouted, her arm jerking back just in time for Ariel to watch as her wand went flying out of her hand —

— and over the balcony of the tower to the fog-laden ground below.

Hedwig looked at Ariel. She let out a long, slow hoot, like she was imitating the wand plummeting to the ground.

"I don't suppose you can fly down and get it for me?" Ariel asked flatly.

Hedwig shook out her feathers and just stared — what do you think?

Remus spent the morning haunting the grounds of Hogwarts. He'd spent so much time inundated in setting up his classroom, or rather, cleaning it out, that he'd started to feel as though nothing existed past those four walls. Lockhart had left two entire cabinets full of unsigned photographs of himself that couldn't be Vanished or Banished or anything in between, and so Remus had spent the better part of two days getting rid of everything without even doing any of his own setting up.

Feeling cagey, Remus rose at dawn and walked the grounds, passing by old ghosts of his past life. It felt both as if he'd been a student at Hogwarts yesterday and never — the thread of eternity spinning equally in both directions. It didn't help that not much had changed, although the lack of people around certainly made it feel eerie. Well, besides the Dementors lurking in the distance, that was. Lurking and looking for Sirius, who was looking for Ariel.

He'd scanned and searched the tree line for signs of a black dog. Remus didn't find any — he hadn't expected to — but it made him feel only slightly better. The guilt churned his stomach like acid, the bile working up his throat the longer he pondered his silent betrayal. Perhaps it was the fact that seeing Ariel grown, seeing that the baby had survived and was all that was left of his friends was a reality check Remus didn't care for.

But he did care. He cared, and so had Sirius. That was what had never really sunk in, he supposed. They'd all thought Remus had been the spy, anyway.

Remus hadn't anticipated running into Ariel again until term began. It had been nearly a week and he hadn't seen her in the library again. He wondered distantly if Snape had something to do with it. The idea of Snape intervening for his own hateful reasons might have bothered Remus more if he hadn't been guilty of the very thing Snape had accused him of — although, if Remus knew where Sirius was, he might've gone to kill him himself.

He made his way back up to the castle around noon, exhausted and spent by the trek across the grounds. Shivering, he hurried up the path, stopping when he noticed a small, lone figure.

Ariel was pacing by the main entrance, glaring at the doors like they had insulted her. She had on a black cloak with the hood drawn, determination flickering in her face like a dying candlewick.

"Everything alright?" Remus called, waving to catch her attention so that he didn't startle her.

Her dark eyes — so very different from James' laughing hazel — widened in surprise. "I erm — I lost my wand."

Remus blinked — several times, in fact. "I see."

"It — it fell off the South Tower."

He had the urge to laugh then, but he didn't. "Oh, dear."

"Yeah," she shuffled awkwardly. "I erm — I need to go and get it."

Ariel glanced at the doors again, the glower melting into trepidation. Remus followed her stare, looking at the doors to see what he was missing, when she sighed.

"It's the Dementors," she muttered. "They — they made me faint. I can't go outside."

Something clicked into place in Remus' brain. A part of him wished it hadn't. "I'm more than happy to accompany you," he offered. "They're quite far from the castle, Professor Dumbledore made certain of that, but it's probably for the best if you don't go alone."

"Professor Snape will kill me if he knows I went outside." Ariel bit her lip. "Then again, he'll be just as mad if he finds out I lost my wand…"

Remus felt his eyebrows knit together. "I'm sure it'll be fine if he knows a staff member was with you. I can understand the concern given the… circumstances."

Ariel gave him a skeptical look, one that said you don't know what I know. It was in that moment that Remus was painfully aware that he didn't — he'd been trying to shove it down, away, back into some distant place where the future he might have had if James and Lily were not dead lay abandoned.

Remus had mulled over Snape's threat for almost an entire day before deciding to put it out of his mind. He'd assumed that it had come from the burning hatred, still just as dangerous almost a decade later and with James dead, that Snape carried with him. He seemed like the kind of bloke who would hold on to a grudge until he was dead, and even then, Remus didn't put it past Snape to come back as some crotchety phantom to sneer and swear. Remus was almost certain it had nothing to do with Ariel and everything to do with Sirius, wanting him dead, wanting revenge for everything. Remus didn't blame him. He would've hated James and Sirius too, if they'd treated Remus the way they'd treated Snape.

He didn't know what Dumbledore was thinking though, having Snape look after James' daughter, but he supposed he didn't really have a say in the matter. James and Lily would've been disappointed — although, that probably wasn't strong enough of a word, when Remus thought about it — to know that Remus was as much of a stranger to Ariel as any old wizard off the street was.

"Or we could just not mention it to him," Ariel said slowly, breaking Remus free of his thoughts. "We'll be quick, right?"

Remus smiled and nodded. "Of course."

"Right," Ariel nodded, like she was still convincing herself. "Okay then. Let's go."

She set off ahead of him briskly, peeking over her shoulder to make sure he was following. Remus shook his head and smiled again, trailing behind her. He wondered if Snape had said something to her. Remus wouldn't have put it past Snape, to speak ill of him because of James, but what did that matter to Snape? He'd hated James, and should've hated Ariel, but she was acting far more skittish than she had been the day they'd met in the library.

"Can I ask what happened?" Remus asked, trying to sound entirely serious but failing to keep all of the amusement out of his voice.

Ariel slowed a bit, her cheeks turning the same color as her hair. "Tried to cast a stupid Patronus." she mumbled.

Ah. Of course. "And how is that going?"

She gave him a look that was pure Lily — indignant and still somehow understanding. "Not great. The books you recommended really helped, though. I get close and then it just… stops."

"It takes a great deal of practice." Remus said, trying to sound encouraging, but he wasn't so sure. "I wasn't able to cast one until I was a Seventh Year, and even then, it took another year or so before it took a permanent form. For some time I thought it might've been a blob forever."

"A blob sounds loads better than nothing at all." a small smile curved at her lips. She blinked up at the misting rain, scrunching her nose. "All I could get was a light at the end of my wand."

"You're young." so young. "Give it time."

She made a face that made his heart twist — pure, unadulterated Lily, not happy with his answer. Her eyes were what still threw him, though, dark and glittering like the spaces between stars.

"That's what Snape keeps saying," she muttered.

Remus' eyebrows hit his forehead. "He's been helping you."

He realized too late he'd made a statement and not asked a question. Something fell over Ariel's face like a shadow, pulling away, before she turned away, picking up the pace once more. Remus racked his brain for the day they'd attempted Patronus' in class — he didn't recall Snape being able to cast one at all. He only remembered because Snape had Cursed half of James' left ear off when he'd had his back turned, right after the stag had come bounding from the tip of James' wand, making eyes at Lily and her doe.

Though, if Ariel was that determined to have a whack at it, and Snape was the only professor here at the moment… Remus supposed that desperate times called for desperate measures.

He really did have to ask Albus about it, though. Minerva and Pomona were scouring the country for Sirius, but surely there had to be other… options. Remus pictured James' face if he knew Snape was responsible for looking after his baby and nearly tripped over a rock.

"Why are you here so early before term?" Ariel asked after a while, quickly shooting him an apologetic look when she realized how forward she sounded. "If you don't mind me asking, sir."

Remus cleared his throat, feeling the heat creep up his neck. I need a potion to be brewed by a bloke who would love to see me drop dead, so I don't murder all of you.

"Well, the Headmaster suggested I come early since your last teacher left in quite a hurry. There was quite a bit of cleaning out to do. There's a poster of Lockhart right above my desk that has a nasty Sticking Charm on it that I can't seem to get rid of. I'll have to consult Professor Flitwick when he returns to see what can be done."

"Have you tried lighting it on fire?" Ariel asked lightly, but Remus noticed a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I haven't," he admitted. "I'm afraid I'm not that desperate just yet."

"Fire works," she said, almost offhandedly.

Remus raised his eyebrows in surprise, biting back another laugh. He didn't think it was appropriate, but Albus had mentioned that Lockhart had been an awful professor.

"One of my Housemates had one of those posters and er — well, there was an accident one night." Ariel smirked. "Definitely an accident, but no one was too sad about it."

Remus couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Oh, I can imagine." he said, trying to contain his amusement. "Well, I'll certainly keep that in mind. Thank you for the suggestion."

She shrugged. "Don't mention it."

He shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, the rain picking up. The clouds overhead rolled by, curling darker and darker. The grass swayed in the wind, the rustling the only sound that filled the silence as they made their way around the walls of the castle.

Ariel rubbed her arms, pulling her cloak tightly around her. "Will the Dementors be here all term, do you think?"

Remus nodded, his mouth going dry. "At the very least until Black is captured."

A grim look spread across her face, like the shadows coating the grounds. "Has there been any news, yet? I haven't seen the Prophet."

"Nothing," because of me, because of me, because of me. "I imagine he'd been lying low, for the time being. There's been concerns that if one Death Eater could escape that more could in the future."

She stopped short, catching Remus by surprise. Her face was riddled with confusion, but her eyes held something… different. "Death Eater?"

"You-Know-Who's followers."

Nodding slowly to herself, she hugged her arms tighter around her. "Death Eater."

Ariel said it to herself, like she was testing it out loud, her expression deep in thought. All likeness of Lily disappeared, leaving behind something that Remus assumed was only Ariel, but it was still familiar, somehow, hovering just out of reach. It wasn't James, but —

"You've never heard that term before?" Remus asked, almost concerned, now.

She shook her head slowly, still not looking at him. Her gaze was far away, in a different place, somewhere Remus didn't follow. "I think I have, but I can't remember where."

They walked in silence the remainder of the way. When Ariel found her wand, she studied it for a long time, like she was making sure it was hers, and looked up at Remus.

"Did all the Death Eaters go to Azkaban?" she asked, in a very quiet voice, like she was sharing a secret.

Remus suddenly had the feeling he had revealed something Ariel did not know, something only she did and hadn't realized. "Those that they knew of, yes. Some of them were able to pay their way out, claiming they were controlled against their will or threatened with their lives or the lives of their families."

She looked stricken for a split second before putting her wand back into her sleeve. Remus could feel his heartbeat in his ears, the rain — or maybe it was his adrenaline — blurring his vision.

"Right," she nodded to herself, and when she looked back at Remus, there was nothing childlike in her face at all. "I'm ready to head back, now."