The silence filled up the dead air between them for what felt like forever but was probably only a few seconds.

Snape was the first one to break the silence. "Why is there a raw steak on the ground?"

He didn't sound very angry — mostly tired. Ariel figured the angry-tired ratio was about sixty-forty at the moment. She found herself not caring much if he was very angry at all, actually.

Ariel took that opportunity to let her eyes flicker to the tree line to make sure the Not-Grim-Dog was gone. She felt bad — she wished she'd taken the food with him, at least. Maybe he'd come back later for it.

Ariel peered over at the steak, trying to act surprised, like she hadn't known it was there the whole time. "I was hungry."

There was a rustle of robes. From her peripheral, Ariel could see his arm stretched out as he murmured something, the steak turning back into a rock. She felt her heart sink, thinking of the hungry Not-Grim-Dog and tried not to scowl up at Snape.

"You realize that it likely would've turned back into a rock the second you bit into it," Snape said, his voice heavy with disdain.

It would have? No wonder the dog didn't want to eat it. Maybe he had sensed something was wrong with it.

"Though I do find myself wondering why you're trying to consume raw meat," Snape continued on. "Was Lupin's class that unbearable, then?"

"I couldn't Transfigure it into what I wanted." Ariel muttered. "How'd you find me, anyway?"

"I followed the sound of your wallowing." he said it in an almost-sneer — it annoyed her. Why was he holding back?

She made a face, tilting her head so she was looking back at the tree line. She wanted to tell him to go away, but she was so exhausted. She wondered if she sounded like he did — angry but not; so, so tired.

"Why are you out here?" Snape was beginning to sound more like himself, less hollowed out and more frustrated.

"I wanted to be alone." Ariel said, glaring at his shoes. "I thought that was kind of obvious."

She glanced at Snape's shoes again. One of them began to tap, almost impatiently. "You're aware there is a mass murderer after you, correct?"

"Are you going to tell me the steak might've attracted him or something?" Ariel didn't want to tell him about the dog, he'd probably think it was Black in disguise. "What do you want?"

She fully expected a scathing retort, or at the very least for him to snarl down that she couldn't talk to him that way, but instead, Snape made a low, disgruntled sound under his breath.

Ariel rested her head on her arms, tucking her knees under her chin, still refusing to look at him. The wind whistled through the grass and rolled across it like waves, whipping her hair around her face. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound, letting it sweep over her while she tried to reign in her temper, which flared dangerously in the pit of her belly.

There was a soft grunt, the sound of shoes scuffling against the dirt —

Ariel cracked open one eye.

Snape was lowering himself to the ground.

"What — what are you doing?" Ariel bleated.

"You have eyes, don't you?" he snapped, nearly falling back. Ariel had the strangest urge to giggle, but she remembered the class's raucous laughter earlier and watched solemnly as Snape settled beside her, stretching out his long legs.

She stared at him dumbstruck. He stared ahead, like she wasn't even there. She could see that the circles under his eyes were darker; his skin paler, greyer, and his hair was clumped together in greasy ropes. He'd only ever looked this awful whenever Ariel was in the infirmary.

"What're you doing?" Ariel repeated, wary. "You're not an imposter, are you?"

Snape's eyes flickered to her for a brief moment, a hint of irritation in his gaze before his attention returned to the horizon. "Don't be ridiculous, Miss Evans."

"I'm serious." Ariel turned to him, and she could've imagined it, but his left cheek spasmed. "I tried to poison myself in the middle of your class. Normally you'd pretend like I was a stick or a wad of gum for the next few days and then tell me how stupid I am even though it's your stupid genes —"

Snape cut her off with a sharp glare, his black eyes hard. "Ask me something only I would know, then."

Ariel blinked, her mouth hanging open a bit. "Like what? Like… a security question?"

"Something only your father would know."

She felt her heart slam into her ribs like a ton of bricks. The wind was suddenly the loudest sound in the world, suddenly the only thing she could focus on as Snape continued to gaze out at the grassy expanse, the sun spinning orange and pink flecks across the sky. The Dementors must have gone to investigate the Muggle woman's call about Black because the clouds and gloom were gone — it was the only reason she'd come out here.

"You don't mean that." Ariel said quietly. "You always tell me to bugger off when I ask about that."

Snape's expression was unreadable, but Ariel could see his jaw tense, his face gray and distant under the fog of his Occlumency. "I suppose I'm feeling generous today." he said, his voice deceptively calm.

Yup — definitely not Snape. Either that or she'd shifted realities, or something.

She kicked the rock at him. "Stop that. Stop having me on."

Snape glanced down as the stone bounced against his thigh. He picked it up and tossed it away from them. "Ask your question."

Ariel frowned, still feeling uneasy. Was this Snape's way of trying to make things better? Was this him… trying to make it right? He'd never apologized before, he always just tried to push her away, tried to convince her that it wasn't a good idea, that she would regret it, that he wasn't suitable —

And yet, Snape had never told her why. He'd never told her because he'd been a Death Eater, that he'd been devoted to the man who wanted Ariel dead, the man who had killed her parents and hundreds of people, had nearly torn Britain apart. If Snape had told Ariel that, she might've taken pause and reconsidered it, but maybe he'd figured she'd known all along. Mum had said so in her letter, after all, but Ariel hadn't known what it meant. In hindsight, she would've thought Snape would've used it to push her away —

Unless —

She thought back to all the other times she'd forgiven him. She'd never even really thought about it — she'd been so desperate for him to see her, so desperate for him to accept her, because somehow, being an orphan was better than being a bastard whose father didn't want her. He'd pushed Ariel away time and time again and had told her she would regret it. Now that she knew why, she didn't feel like she regretted it. She just felt… empty — betrayed — hurt.

She'd taken all of that and funneled it into her anger, letting it fester and build until she'd exploded all over Snape's classroom. It was all gone, now. Now she just felt hollowed out, like the anger had taken up a piece of her she hadn't realized existed until she was left to deal without it.

Ariel's head felt like it was in a vise, trying to make sense of it all. She wasn't even sure she wanted him here, sitting next to her, under this rock, but the thought of him leaving seemed so — so — final, somehow.

"If I ask you, will I actually get an answer?" Ariel tried not to sound harsh, but it came out more bitterly than she would have liked.

Snape stared at her, and there it was again; that Thing that hid behind his Occlumency, peeking out as though to make sure she was actually there and wasn't going to storm off. Ariel wished he would let it out completely, but she also wasn't quite sure she could handle it right now, her chest occupied by something vicious.

"You will," Snape said. His knuckles had gone white, gripping at his cloak.

Ariel let her legs slide down, fiddling with her hands, digging down inside her for the best way to frame it, for the right question to ask. She had so many questions for him, all of them starting in why, but she had to pick just one for now, she supposed.

And so she decided to start at the beginning.

She reached deep down inside of her for her courage, for that pinprick of light tucked away that made her a Gryffindor, that had demanded the Hat put her there and not Slytherin — that had kicked Quirrell in the face and stabbed Riddle's diary —

That looked at her father now, so cold, and so, so distant, even though she could have reached out her hand to touch him —

Ariel swallowed, and then lifted her chin. "Why did my mother have to Obliviate you?"

The breeze sighed into the grass, reaching up to tousle Snape's hair. It was the only part of him that moved. Ariel held her breath as she waited for him to answer, her chest burning with something that felt a lot like dread.

"The last time I ever saw her, she asked me why I had saved her." Snape finally said, his voice barely a murmur and as empty as the wind. "She said I had no business doing such a thing, because I was a Death Eater."

The words felt like a crushing blow, more so than the I warned you Snape had left Ariel with back in August. Ariel had known, but to hear Snape say it out loud was —

you have no idea what will come for you —

you don't know the things I have done, the things I will continue to do —

what is at stake —

there is a reason your mother did not tell me she was with child —

you're sorry for it aren't you — aren't you —

"Still are," Ariel somehow managed to rasp out. "Right? Professor Lupin said none of them defected and made it out alive."

Snape's eyes flashed dangerously. "Lupin does not know as much as he thinks he does."

"He knows enough. He fought in the War."

"Have a chat with him about it, did you?" Snape sneered, the facade disintegrating. Ariel had almost forgotten how easy it was to make him slip — James had always been an easy trigger, but Professor Lupin seemed to do the job just as well.

"He's the one who mentioned Death Eaters to me." Ariel stared straight into Snape's eyes, the look of pure and unadulterated loathing in them enough to make the hair on her arm stand up straight. "He told me the ones who tried to leave were killed, but Voldemort had spies practically everywhere. He said it was impossible."

Snape's mouth twisted, like he was just barely holding something back — Ariel reckoned it would've blistered her ears. She waited for him to lay into Professor Lupin — or her, even — call her naive and foolish for listening to someone she barely knew about a subject she'd known little about — but Snape only swallowed, his lips pressing back into a thin line.

"It was," Snape finally said, his voice shaking slightly — Ariel could feel the rage burning behind it, fighting its way through the syllables, like water finding its way through cracks in a roof. "Until Dumbledore asked for me to spy for the Order — and I did."

James and I are in hiding waiting to hear from the Order —

I hope you know what that means and why it was so important to us —

Ariel digested this information for a moment. "So… you were playing both sides. You were still a Death Eater."

He inclined his head, his mouth thinning. "My loyalty from that point on was to the Order."

"How, though?" Ariel shifted uncomfortably, not sure she was liking the direction this was headed in. She wanted to know how he'd done it, had wondered for all those sleepless nights how he could be a Death Eater and walk free, but the reality of it all was starting to feel suffocating. "How did you trick Voldemort? How did you do it?"

"I created false memories." if Ariel didn't know better, she could've sworn Snape was almost smiling, but there was something wrong with it, something dark. "The Dark Lord saw what I wanted him to see. I'd always done so — testing the limits, doing it with smaller incidents — so when it came to betrayal, it was… seamless."

At this, Ariel felt her anger reignite. She shook her head, flexing her fingers in her lap as she scoffed, letting the feeling fill her up — letting it travel down to her toes, could feel it vibrating in her fingernails —

"Why?" Ariel asked. This time, she let all of her hurt leak into her voice, let it roll through like the wind in the grass, like it was a beast creeping through the brush towards them, ready to pounce. "She was a Muggleborn. You said she was your best friend, that you —"

Loved her, you loved her and you left her for that crazy arsehole who murdered her —

"I have to live with it," Snape said, his voice was bottomless, but there was a profound sadness there, crackling along the edges, like it was a thing that was just barely contained. "You do not."

Ariel felt her eyes begin to burn again as she swiped her sleeve across her face. "What do you mean I don't have to live with it? It's why — why everything happened the way it did."

"That's not what I meant."

"Then tell me what you mean!" she shouted. A flock of birds that had been rustling through the grass a few meters away took off in a panicked whirl of screeching and frantic flapping of their wings.

Ariel expected Snape to tell her to calm down, to control her emotions — your unique situation does not afford you the opportunity to be lazy — use her Occlumency, but he didn't. He didn't even turn his head at her outburst, his face as smooth as glass.

"You don't need to acknowledge our… situation any longer." Snape said, a strange kind of calm had come over him, as if he were trying to make her understand something that was just beyond the reach of his words. "I will only ever be your professor if that is what you wish. That is what I mean. If this is too much, I — understand." he said the last word strangely, like he had meant something else instead.

Ariel felt her chest constrict, her heart beating painfully against her ribs. She wanted to tell him that it wasn't that simple — no matter what he said, it was never going to be that simple — but the words wouldn't come. All she could do was sit there, in the still silence between them, feeling that Thing building in her chest, inescapable and almost unbearable.

"It sounds like you're trying to take the easy way out," Ariel retorted, her voice sharp and tight.

Snape must have seen something in her face because he finally turned, eyes searching hers, as if he wanted to say something else, but then, like a switch had been flicked off, his face shuttered — the emotions behind his Occlumency tucked away once again.

"And what was your little display yesterday, then?" Snape asked, his tone clipped.

Ariel felt her face flame. "You were being awful —"

"And you were acting like a scorned, Gryffindor brat."

"I'm not sorry," she snapped, picturing Professor McGonagall's face if she'd heard her right now. "You let Malfoy do whatever he bloody well pleases — but that's because you're pals with his dad, isn't it? You both managed to dodge Azkaban —"

"Is that what you believe, then?" Snape's voice was cold, so cold that Ariel felt it like a physical presence settling into her skin, seeping into her bones. "After everything you have seen — everything you know — that is your conclusion?"

Ariel took a deep, steadying breath, her anger just barely simmering beneath the surface. She knew that Snape was right — she had seen things that no one else had seen. She knew that he was not on Malfoy's side, and that he had risked his own neck to protect her. Even back at the Dursleys, when he'd destroyed their house, that had been solely because of the cupboard under the stairs. What he'd done to Quirrell and Riddle —

"No," Ariel finally said in a hard voice. "you hurt Lucius after the Chamber — for me. You've had plenty of opportunities to off me, if you were still loyal to Voldemort… and Mum still trusted you. She — she trusted that you'd take care of me if she couldn't."

"I ensured that Lucius would not hurt you, again." Snape said flatly. "It was his own fault that he did not comply. I simply took the proper measures to disarm him."

"Yeah, alright," she rolled her eyes. "because you weren't angry at all that night."

"And what do you know of anger?" Snape's voice was soft, that cadence there that made the rest of the world seem much quieter. "Of the true depth of it?"

She studied him for a long moment.

"I know that you… lose it on people." Ariel bit her lip. "Did you do that when you were a Death Eater, too?"

His eyes flashed — the color, somehow, suddenly seemed even darker, like all the light was being sucked up into the blackness of his eyes. "Do you really want the answer to that question?"

She stifled a shudder and looked away. "Not really, but I would prefer it if you were honest with me. Like you were with Mum."

He went very quiet. Ariel didn't dare look at his face, afraid of what she'd find there. After a while, Ariel began to wonder if she had gone too far. He had risked so much for her, and here she was, prodding at his vulnerabilities like a child poking a bruise.

But she needed to know — he owed her that much, at the very least.

"Then yes," Snape said, his voice as sharp as the edge of a blade. "I did what I had to. Very early on I realized that my — expectations were not being met and began to doubt the Dark Lord. There was, however, no turning back, so I began to defy him in small ways, things he wouldn't detect, things I could explain away, but there was no getting around… certain matters. I had known that — that there was a price to be paid — that the Dark Lord commanded unwavering, blind loyalty. My devotion waned as the War unfolded and it became increasingly clear that the things that were promised were lies. I did not truly regret my actions until — until —" he swallowed hard, then.

She let this confession stew for a while, let it settle as though it were climbing into bed after a long day. She found herself wanting to do just that, the longer she sat there and pondered what Snape was telling her, what he was confessing to. She wanted to get into bed and never come out.

"Why did you do it at all?" Ariel whispered. "What could he have offered you — what —?"

"I could give you many reasons," Snape shifted, clearing his throat. "but none of them will really suffice."

"Could you try?"

His black eyes flickered to the ground, like he was waiting for something to happen, but slowly nodded after a minute. "You asked me about anger — you have no concept of what that will do to a person — or what it can twist a person into. Hatred can drive one to extremes. I would have watched the world burn, and I wouldn't have batted an eye. I would have done so gladly."

Ariel thought to ask what had made him feel that way but filed this information away for later. She stared, uncomprehending, instead, trying to keep her mind and heart open, but she felt so betrayed by this — that he hadn't told her — that he —

"Is that why you pushed me away?" Ariel asked quietly. "Because you're still angry?"

He inclined his head. "A large part of it was that, yes."

Ariel digested this before asking her next question. "And what was the other part?"

"I never wanted children."

The comment stung more than Ariel would've thought it would. It wasn't exactly surprising, but —

"Great job you've got, then." she couldn't help but give an empty laugh as she wiped at her eyes. "taking care of hundreds of them."

His black eyes were burning into hers like two hot coals. "It was the only way to keep me out of Azkaban… and it will provide me with enough leverage when the Dark Lord does return."

She figured she must have misheard him. She just stared, keeping her gaze fixed on his face, searching for signs of deception or a flicker of something else, but there was nothing but that startling coldness, his eyes glittering with that thing that was so cruel but not —

"What — what does that mean?" her lips didn't move — they'd gone numb, and it was spreading —

Something moved in Snape's face, something that traveled up his cheekbone like a vibration. "He will expect me to join him again — he has no reason to doubt that I have ever deflected, that I have ceased spying. Hogwarts was the Order's only stronghold, and the Dark Lord knew that once he took it, the War was as good as won."

Ariel went very cold all over, and then very, very hot. She felt the emptiness inside her beginning to fill up, roiling and writhing inside of her like a maelstrom.

That was why — THAT was why — he hadn't wanted her — because he'd never stopped — he would never —

The ground was shaking, or maybe it was her, or maybe it was her magic, breaking open like a dam finally bursting through its confines. Ariel's vision blurred as she struggled to keep herself steady, her fingers digging into the dirt for any kind of support.

Snape continued without batting an eyelash at Ariel's reaction. "I intend to maintain my cover until his return is imminent and then present myself as the valuable asset I once was. With my position at Hogwarts, I will have access to information that he will consider crucial."

Ariel was already shaking her head. "No —"

"He cannot know you are my child. The danger that would put you in —"

"No." Ariel said again, her hands were shaking for different reasons now — rage and determination filling her up until she thought might break apart from the power of it all.

Snape was watching her with a strange look now, one Ariel couldn't place, one she didn't care to. "Miss Evans —"

"You can't go back —" she could feel the words sticking to the back of her throat. "You can't —"

He grabbed her arm, his spidery fingers digging into her bicep. "You wanted the truth — this is only part of it."

Ariel stood up — she —

"Miss Evans —" his whole face shuddered, and her chest was doing the same thing —

"No — you can't —" her desperation was surging through her like a tidal wave, but she couldn't catch her breath, couldn't get her head above the water —

waves too dark and deep to swim —

please don't let go of me —

Snape gave her a shake. "This is why I was unwilling — you've no concept of what is at stake —"

"Because I don't fit into your Death Eater plans —" get away get away get away —

"I am trying," Snape started but he broke off, his jaw clenching, the skin next to his eyes twitching, like the mask was slipping. "I am trying to tell you that —"

"— that you don't want me? I got that much already, thanks." Ariel threw back at him, watched the mask fall further down, and it fed that awful thing inside of her, made it hungrier. "Do you think I don't know that? That I don't understand why you'd want — why you left her? Do you really think I can't see what kind of person you were back then, the things you did? I read — I read so bloody much, so I have a pretty good picture, and it doesn't change who she was to you — who I am — so why should I expect you to see it differently now? Of course you'd want to go back to acting like I don't exist — especially if you're just going to crawl back to him —"

His arm shot out, his hand grabbing her face, fingers curling around her chin.

Black met black, and Ariel felt her mind wipe itself clean. Her next breath got stuck in her throat, lodged there like a rock in a landslide as something spilt out of Snape's face, something — something —

"Do you know why I didn't want you?" he hissed. His eyes were wild, almost unfocused, his Occlumency nowhere to be found. "Do you want the truth, girl? You have begged for it time and time again and look where it's gotten you. I told you that you would come to regret it — I warned you."

That Thing was out, escaped from behind Snape's eyes and ran rampant. She was scared to look away from it, that it would disappear, reclaimed by the Occlumency. While it terrified her, it also felt like she was staring into the sun for too long, and some great, blinding light that held back something — something —

Ariel tried to move away, tear out of his hold, and he let her go. She fell back on her elbows, scrambling to her knees.

"I knew what you would do." Snape snarled. "You have become my sole weakness. The Dark Lord would have had no reasonable doubt — if you had only let me do I what I needed to in order to keep you safe —"

She could do little but stare, her chest heaving, her heart trying to cram its way up her windpipe, like it was trying to flee. Her brain was screaming for her to go — that she couldn't bear to hear what he was about to unleash upon her — that she was the reason why — why — why —

Snape framed her face with his hands, his fingers curling into the space at the nape of her neck, his breath moving across her forehead like a cold wind, making her shiver. His eyes — so much like her own, and yet nothing at all — pinned her to the spot.

"You are the only thing that could ever matter — the only thing that could undermine my sole focus, which has been to ensure the downfall of a psychotic madman who's only desire has been to murder a child — my child — for twelve goddamn years. Despite what you think you know, I did what no other Death Eater could. I defected, and I spied and lied and began to destabilize the Dark Lord's regime in exchange for keeping your mother safe. What you are — what you have done — what your very existence has done to my resolve — there is none, where you are concerned. You have managed to undermine every belief, every conviction I have ever held, and I am at a complete and utter loss as to what to do with you. I have spent every goddamn minute of every goddamn day for the past three years beside myself with the idea that I would fail you. It is not an option, but it would have been so much easier for you to want nothing to do with me — to be repulsed by me — to let me do what I need to, knowing I could sink no lower in your eyes. Now — the thought is — agony."

Ariel just stared at him. She felt something warm on her cheeks, something warm and wet, but it was a distant thought, not as important as the look on his face.

"Do you understand what I am saying to you?" he asked, his chest heaving. "I will not leave you — ever. I will never not want you, because you are mine, you ridiculous girl. I have no choice. You need only say the word."

She felt her heartbeat thrumming in her ears, but the vault of her heart felt so full, so —

"You did it — for her?" Ariel didn't even realize she'd spoken until Snape's eyes slid shut. "Even after she Obliviated you?"

"I did it for her," he sounded like he was clenching his teeth, trying to bite down on the consonants. "And I do it for you. Everything — every fiber of my being — is for you."

She swallowed down the lump in her throat. "I don't want that. I don't want you to go back to Voldemort for me — or for Mum. You do have a choice. If I'm — I'm —"

Snape's lip curled. "As I've already stated, you have no concept of what is at stake. There is more to this than our relationship."

"Don't tell me what I do and don't know!" Ariel shot back. "Voldemort killed my parents — he'd kill you if he knew half of what you just told me — I have a pretty good idea of what's at stake, okay? He's tried to kill me three times and I'd reckon he's not stopping anytime soon. I'm not about to lose you, too."

His eyes flashed, but his face did something strange, like his Occlumency was inverting in on itself. "Don't you dare start on that sort of nonsense, Miss Evans."

Ariel bristled at Snape's words. "What do you mean, nonsense? You're the one putting yourself in danger for me and Mum! I'm not just going to sit back and watch you get yourself killed because of me!"

His eyes narrowed. "If I were to abandon my duties and walk away from this War like some rat, do you really believe that the Dark Lord would just let it go? He would come after me with even greater force, and there would be nowhere I could go, nowhere I could hide that would keep him from finding me and doing what he wanted. I am no such coward, girl."

Ariel glowered at him through her tears, shaking her head. "I don't think you're a coward. I — I just —" she shook her head, tucking her chin to her chest. "I can't — I can't be an orphan again."

She almost immediately regretted saying it — saying the thing that had been living inside her since she'd read Mum's letter, but there was no undoing it now. A silence fell between them before Snape leaned forward and reached for her chin again, lifting it with his fingers until she was looking into his eyes.

"You will never be an orphan again because no one will take you from me," he said in a low voice. "Nor I from you. The Dark Lord has no reasonable doubt. That is why it is essential that this remains a secret."

She didn't answer at first, letting Snape's hand fall as her mind continued to reel.

"I thought — you were ashamed." Ariel found herself saying.

The black pool of his eyes — so open, so honest — hardened like diamonds. "Of you?"

She felt herself nodding. Her head felt like it was full of starlight.

"You foolish girl —" his voice was angry, but the harsh lines of his face were softening, unfurling.

"I'm not ashamed of you either," Ariel wiped her eyes, but she was starting to feel like a leaky faucet, not able to stop until she found the source. "I was angry you kept it from me and then wouldn't tell me anything. All I've ever wanted is answers."

Snape looked… uncertain. She wondered if she'd overshared somehow by telling him that, but all she'd meant was that she wasn't angry anymore. All Ariel had wanted was for him to explain herself, and while she still didn't understand everything, Snape had made it quite clear that above everyone — above Ariel — he was angry with himself most of all.

"Tell me you understand what I've said to you," Snape said. The Occlumency was beginning to creep back in, but Ariel wasn't done, hadn't asked everything she wanted. She didn't know if it was fair to keep going, to keep asking for things she almost needed to know, but it wasn't fair to take advantage of the fact that he was very clearly emotionally compromised, because he — he —

"Can I ask you one more question?" Ariel asked quietly.

Snape gave the smallest of nods. The guard was back up, but she grappled for him to stay, just a second longer —

"Did you love her?"

He stilled, the air between them so heavy that Ariel thought she could hear her heartbeat echoing in it. Snape's face changed — a sudden crack in his stone facade that lasted for only an instant before he pulled away, turning to the side.

"Why do you ask?" it was almost a snarl, but it was diluted by the pain in his face, like he was a rabid animal caught in a trap. "I had thought it was quite obvious — you've asked about it incessantly."

"Sometimes I know," Ariel answered honestly, watching him grimace. "I know it was — you weren't married or anything — but it was something."

Snape stayed silent, his expression dark and unreadable. For the first time in what felt like forever, Ariel was unmovable — she wanted an answer no matter how long it took to come — she had waited for so long already. She would wait here forever, if she had to, turn from skin to stone to stand, just to know that Mum had been right — that Ariel was right.

"Something," Snape said softly, almost to himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose and bowed his head, sighing deeply. "It was — not enough," his voice was rough, like he was choking on gravel. "Not until it was too late."

Ariel swallowed hard, the words like a slap in the face. She had known — the way he seemed to falter whenever she was mentioned, the playground, his grip on her shoulder in Mum's memory — but hearing it out loud felt like getting kicked in the gut. Snape's pain was palpable, almost suffocating, as Ariel struggled to push her own emotions down.

He had paid for his mistakes, already. He knew it — and Ariel knew it, then, too. Mum had been the price. Maybe Ariel would be, too.

"It was," Ariel said quietly. "It was enough. Don't you see? It saved you."

Snape stared at her. His jaw clenched, a pinprick of light flooding in the bottomless darkness of his eyes, hurtling toward them, like a star's flame bursting from the inside out —

"And how could I not," Snape murmured. "When she gave me you?"

Ariel made a sound that she would've been embarrassed by, had she cared. His thumb swiped across her cheek, wiping away her tears. The callouses scratched at her skin.

She fumbled for his wrist, wrapping her hand around it, her thumb squeezing against his palm.

He went very still at her touch as she watched her tears drip down her nose and onto the grass.

"For what it's worth," Ariel managed to strangle out. "It was enough — it just came with an annoying brat who just won't go away."

Snape gave a soft snort. She wished she could've seen his face, but she didn't dare move, didn't want to shatter the still fragility of this pocket of time, of this thing she both did and didn't understand but knew was precious.

Even more so if he would go back to Voldemort. At the very least, those were his intentions, but Ariel had other thoughts on the matter, other scenarios where no one else got hurt because of her.

"I only need to say the word?" she whispered.

Snape nodded, his grip like iron.

When she looked back up into his face, Ariel didn't not hesitate.

"Okay," she said.

A/N: Phewwwwwwwww.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter: the return of the plot! Ariel still has a detention with Lupin and some friends to try and make up with. Snape has more general terrorizing of Lupin to do and bickering with Dumbledore. Oh, and then there's Sirius, who is seriously (HA) questioning his goddaughter's magical abilities.

Reviews would be supremely loved and appreciated.