Chapter 22: Childhood Trauma
A/N: Trigger Warning: sexual abuse. Skip if this affects you.
Harry contemplated life as Luna showed him how to go through something called a sun salutation. The blonde and Hermione had insisted that he needed to lower his stress. They were down by the beach and barefoot as she had insisted. They started standing 'tall and proud' -whatever that meant- on thin mats. Where did those come from? Harry wondered. Luna guided him through breathing exercises. His talk with Ginny had left him rattled. Hermione was currently talking to Headmistress McGonagall about how to get Hagrid and Madam Pomfrey out of Hogwarts.
"Pranamasana," Luna demonstrated, placing her hands palm to palm, pointing up toward her chin.
Harry repeated that.
"Now we move to Mountain Pose or Hasta Uttanasana," Luna said. "Make sure you lift and spread your toes and the balls of your feet, then lay them softly back down on the floor like this," Luna moved, and Harry looked at her feet. "Balance your weight evenly across your feet. Feel the energy from the earth as it travels from your feet up to your core. Breathe."
Harry followed her instructions without a word.
Luna smiled, "Good job. Now we move into Uttanasana or standing forward bend," the blonde girl let her body bend over. "Don't bend further than you feel comfortable with. Move slowly but with purpose. Breathe."
Harry repeated what she did within his possibilities.
"Now we move into Anjaneyasana or Crescent Moon Pose," Luna arched her back gracefully.
Harry did his best to follow her example and his back cracked loudly. "Fuck!"
"Good?" Luna smiled with her eyes closed.
Harry blushed but replied an amused "Yes," He could have moaned with how good that crack felt.
"Now, we move into Downward-facing Dog," Luna changed her position.
Harry imitated Luna and felt stretches in places he didn't think could be stretched.
"Caterpillar pose," Luna moved, and Harry stopped. She couldn't be serious that she wanted him to do that. "Or if you are embarrassed about your bum," Luna chuckled, "Not that you should be. I think it's a nice bum," Luna chuckled. Harry blushed bright red. "Move into Upward-facing Dog."
That was much better than the caterpillar, so Harry followed her example once more.
"Now we reverse the cycle. Downward-facing Dog again," Luna changed positions and he did the same. After a couple of breaths, she sighed, "Anjaneyasana with the opposite leg bent."
They took a few deep breaths and moved back into Uttanasana, mountain pose, and Pranamasana.
"Inhale as much as you can... Hold it... Exhale very slowly," Luna demonstrated.
Harry did as she asked and felt a bit dizzy from all the oxygen.
"How do you feel?" Luna asked him.
"Much better than when we started, Luna. Thank you. Truly," Harry smiled at her.
"Harry... Since I have been here, I have tried to stay out of people's ways and not get involved unless I am asked. However, there's something I need to tell you. I don't want to trample over your boundaries or affect you," Luna sat down cross-legged in front of him, so he went down to the floor again. Luna rarely began conversations, but every time she did, it was deep, valuable, and wise. "If it was something that could be delayed or ignored, I would keep it to myself, but this is too important."
"I appreciate your consideration, Luna," Harry smiled. "But you can always come to me for anything that troubles you."
"Thank you, Harry... I know people think my head is in the air most of the time, and I don't pay attention to what is going on around me. However, I have the flaw or the virtue that I am very observant, and it goes beyond my special skills," Luna tapped the space where her third eye would be.
"I know... I am sorry I haven't been able to spend much time with you," Harry sighed. "At first, I didn't want to pressure you or make you uncomfortable because of what happened at Malfoy Manor... And then things have been crazy."
"Harry... don't worry about that. You are saving the world. We are only trying to help you. That is what I am trying to do now."
"Thank you, Luna, truly," Harry squeezed her hand gently.
"Harry... I know you. Better than you think I do. You need to understand something... It is not your fault. None of it. Ron going bad is Ron's fault. His father being murdered is his fault too. The Weasleys should have created new wards, but they simply thought they put the fear of his maker in Ron when they ran him out, and they didn't. Percy said that they disowned him, but they didn't do the ritual or send the paperwork to Gringotts."
Harry sighed, "Perhaps, Luna, but they are homeless because of me."
"No, they are homeless because of Riddle. In any case, that will easily be solved once the war is over. I know you are planning on rebuilding The Burrow," Luna smiled at Harry's shock. He hadn't said that to anyone. Luna simply tapped her third eye. Harry blinked and chuckled. Luna went on, "It's not like they are lacking anything here... This island is safe and gorgeous. The weather is great. The food is delicious and plentiful. We have healers, trainers, professors, and even our families here. Deep down, she knows she's luckier than many, many others," Luna said all this while she bent over her legs. Her feet went on pointe, and then the heels were flexed. She did this five times.
Harry shrugged. "She sounded just like him, you know."
"Like whom?" Luna blinked as she sat back up.
"Ronald... When she told me I had no family," Harry shrugged.
"You know that's not true, right?" Luna asked.
"I guess..." Harry sighed.
Luna moved closer to him and took his hand, "Harry, you have a family, and we love you."
"I love you too," Harry replied immediately, surprising himself at how fast he did. A few months ago, even thinking those words would have caused him to panic and now they would flow out with ease.
Luna smiled brightly at him and moved to sit over her heels in between Harry's open legs. She stared into his eyes for a while. He had such a beautiful soul. He had been through so much, and yet his heart was so pure. She gave him a tight, long hug. "What Ginny is going through is terrible, but her psyche wasn't broken by you or anything that had to do with you."
"How can you be so sure?" Harry asked with a tortured expression.
"Before I tell you, you need to temporarily let me put your core out of order..."
"What? Why? How?" he blinked rapidly.
"Remember what I did to Ginny? Manipulating her chakras?"
Harry nodded, confused.
"I can do something similar that will allow you to move and do anything non-magical, but that will inhibit you from unintentionally blowing up with anger and having your core damage the island or the house. What I tell you will make you feel many strong emotions, and while I trust you to handle most of them... Anger management is not your forte," Luna blushed and looked very apologetic.
Harry didn't take any offense. It was true. "So, I can be mad but just can't express it through my magic?"
"Yes... Harry, I love you, but with respect... You need to have a better grip on your magic," before he retorted, Luna added, "I know you are working on it and even your aura looks different, but while you get to the finish line, I'd like to help, for yours and everyone else's safety."
"I won't be immobile, right?" Harry hated not having control over his body.
"No, not at all," Luna smiled reassuringly.
Harry nodded, "I trust you. Let's do this."
Luna knelt with Harry and made him place his palms against hers. Then she removed her hands, motioning with her eyes to keep his there. She began chanting softly in a language Harry didn't recognize. She then placed her right hand over his head, his crown chakra, while her left hand was placed on his heart chakra. After a bit of singing, her right hand moved down to rest flat against his solar plexus chakra, and her left hand was placed on his lower back over what he thought he remembered was called the root chakra. Harry felt a soft current of energy coming from her hand through his spine both up and down. It was the strangest sensation. It didn't hurt, but he felt as if his magic was gently shut off.
"You should feel very unmagical right now," Luna smiled.
"I do..." Harry took a deep breath. "Tell me," he encouraged her, and she sit down on the mat in front of him.
"I talked to Madam Pomfrey about Ginny's outburst... Only she and I know this. I thought Bill knew, but as you saw he didn't, up to this point, he has no idea as to the depth or magnitude of this fracture. You can't discuss it with anyone but Hermione... because I know she can read your thoughts and even if she didn't, she can read you like a book. But I need you to understand that what changed Ginny didn't happen overnight and that you didn't do it."
Harry nodded, "I appreciate your trust, and rest assured that I will not speak a word to anyone other than Hermione." He created a privacy bubble around them.
Luna let go of him but kept a hold of his hands. "Her psyche fractured because of severe childhood trauma. Harry, there's no easy way to say this... I am sorry because I know it will hurt you deeply to hear this... I promised I wouldn't tell, and I know Ginny will be furious at me, but you need to know in order to help protect and heal her better..."
"I will do my best," Harry nodded decisively. He took a shaky breath. The sorrow in Luna's eyes was more expression than he had ever seen in her. He braced himself for what he thought would be a life-changing revelation.
"Ginny was raped when she was eleven."
Whatever Harry had expected, it wasn't this. His eyes widened and watered as he stared into Luna's ocean-colored eyes that were equally teary. He was hoping for any hint that it was a lie. He started to breathe in a shallow, labored manner. He was quiet for a long time as he felt all the anger, the frustration, the sadness, the heartbreak, the overpowering need for revenge. It was quite strange not to have his magic emboldening his reaction. It left him with soul-crushing sadness instead. He began, "I- What- How- Who-?"
"She was raped repeatedly by Voldemort himself using imperiused people."
Harry felt as if he had been punched in the stomach by Grawp. His hands began to shake, and his bottom lip quivered. Luna squeezed his hands to anchor him.
"That's what broke her, Harry. It was the dark magic obtained from his ritualistic abuse of Ginny that kept the Horcrux in the diary alive. Just as unicorn blood had kept Quirrell alive," Luna said this slowly, giving Harry's brain time to start processing the horror of the story. "Ginny wasn't possessed by the diary. She was manipulated by a predator, Harry. The Horcrux remained intact until you stabbed it and killed it. Her psyche fractured to cope with what was done to her, to try and compartmentalize it so it wouldn't destroy her."
"H-How didn't a-anyone find o-out?" Harry asked in between shaky breaths trying not to sob and start screaming.
"She didn't tell anyone at first... I think that, for a while, she didn't even know it consciously, Harry. The brain does that to cope with trauma, to protect itself. That's why many victims of abuse... like her and like m-me... when we do remember what happened, we see it as an out-of-body experience. Sometimes we see what was done to us from above and sometimes from far away. It's a way our mind tries desperately to separate our bodies and well-being from what was done to us," Luna sighed.
Harry blinked. He remembered some instances in which he saw what happened to him as if it was a movie, "W-When did you-?"
"We were close friends growing up. Ginny started to change after you rescued her. She became withdrawn. She became very aggressive and defensive over the smallest things. Sudden noises or motions would make her jump. She started having night terrors. She would wake up, and she would have scratched herself bloody all over her legs and arms. I know this because she asked me for healing ointment. Her parents couldn't afford the one she wanted, and she knew my dad kept a tub around because I sleepwalked for a long time, and I would get badly hurt occasionally. One of the first complex spells she learned was to silence her bed and herself because the other girls in her dorm were complaining that she would be too loud. None of them thought to warn a professor, though."
"Fuck... I-I saw scarring on her a-arms. She covered them with bracelets. When I asked her, she waved me off... She s-said it was from her p-pigmy puff," Harry replied in a daze.
Luna shook her head. "It wasn't. There's something very important for you to know... Her obsession with you goes far beyond your many attractive qualities, Harry... The rituals done to her made her particularly sensitive to anything with Riddle's magical signature on it. He wanted to use her as a magnet for all those things. I am sorry if this hurts you, Harry, but she wanted what was in your scar, not you."
Harry bowed his head over his knees as he tried not to collapse under the weight of all this information. He grimaced as he remembered how Ginny always seemed to find an excuse to touch his forehead, especially his scar. She didn't make it obvious. She would pretend she was moving his fringe out of the way or playing with his hair. He felt his body explode in conflicted and slightly disgusted goosebumps.
"Ginny is a victim... She's a failed experiment of Riddle's. He wanted to turn a person into a bloodhound to find all the magical artifacts he had ever tampered with. They ended up, as you know, scattered throughout England, and I believe he wanted to use her to get them all back in a way that wouldn't be noticeable... After all, who would think poorly of a child for being curious about ancient objects?" Luna asked, wiping her own tears away.
Harry felt heaps of guilt collapsing on his shoulders again. "Luna... then it is my fault."
"How do you come to that conclusion? It was Riddle who ordered Lucius Malfoy to give her the diary. It was Riddle who raped her using Quirrell's body that he could take over at any time. We don't even know how many other girls he could have groomed and abused. The important part is that it was Riddle who broke her, Harry."
"She wouldn't have been chosen if it hadn't been for me," Harry whispered. "If I hadn't been close to the Weasleys, then-"
"You don't know that... Let's imagine that she wasn't chosen. Then, it would have been any other girl, Harry. The results would have been the same. A poor child that was groomed, abused, and manipulated. A child whose trauma would have destined her to obsess with you beyond the innocent books filled with lies that her mother read to her at bedtime... Whoever it would have been, she would have been drawn to you like a moth to a flame..."
Harry wanted to believe her, but he couldn't. He still felt it was all on him. "Still, I-"
"Harry, listen to me... Once she went to Madam Pomfrey, and she started doing diagnostic spells... It was as if those triggered flashbacks. The rituals... From what she has been able to describe and Madam Pomfrey found... They were horrific. I had never even heard of anything so vile. Riddle wouldn't have stopped at a simple inconvenience as one child being strong or scared enough and handing the diary to a professor. If Ginny hadn't opened the Chamber of Secrets, someone else would have. Maybe kids would have died. Through Quirrell, Riddle was in a school filled with hundreds of impressionable girls that would have been just as easy prey if not worse," Luna said a bit forcefully, staring into his green eyes.
Harry bent over, placed his head between his knees, and screamed in frustration. Luna couldn't stop herself from crying. Harry loved people so much, so deeply, that things like this hurt him beyond what they would hurt others in a similar position. She was sure that despite her assurances, Harry would never stop feeling guilty about this. Luna wrapped her arms around him while he kept screaming expletives and punching the sand between his legs. It must have been half an hour until he stopped the punches and collapsed against her.
His voice was hoarse from the screaming, "I want to kill him in the most painful way there is. I don't care if I go to literal hell. I don't care if I become an outcast and society judges me forever. I don't give a fuck. I want his death to be slow and for him to be in so much pain that he begs for death," Harry said all this in his coldest tone.
"So do I," Luna replied. "We all do."
"Luna... I don't... W-What can we do now?" Harry's eyes were full of wonder and sadness. "How c-can we h-help her?"
"Find out for how long she has been unmedicated. Ease her back into her previous regime. Try to make things easier for her with the training and such. I-"
"She will not train again. Absolutely not. Her health matters more to me than her support in battle. I just want to help her... Oh, God! Mrs. Weasley! We must tell Mrs. Weasley, Luna," Harry pulled his hair.
"Only if Andromeda agrees. It may not be a good idea," Luna frowned.
"What do you mean? What happened after we left the Infirmary to meet with the goblin queen?"
"Neville told me that it wasn't just an anxiety attack. Andromeda didn't want to alarm anyone considering how tense things already were," Luna replied.
"What happened to her?" Harry asked with a frown.
"She had severe tachycardia."
"What?"
"It means her heart was racing..."
"Yes, Luna, I know that... I mean, how bad?"
"Well, Neville says Andromeda warned her children not to stress her out at all because if she has another event, she could go into cardiac arrest. She is to have her blood pressure controlled twice a day, and she must lose some weight and eat a special heart-healthy diet. She will also be in a strict potion regime for the foreseeable future," Luna explained.
Harry nodded, "Fuck... Okay, I need to talk to Andy."
Luna nodded, "Harry? Can I ask you for something?"
"Yes, of course," he replied, standing up and pulling her up with him.
Luna placed her small soft hand on his cheek, "Please be kinder to yourself..."
Her eyes burrowed into his own, "I'm sorry?" he asked, blinking rapidly.
"It's just... You are one of the kindest, nicest, most caring, and most generous people I know to others... But you usually neglect yourself. Please don't. For my sake," Luna did puppy eyes at Harry, who was deeply touched by her request.
"I will try my best, Luna," Harry replied, kissing the top of her head. He felt an even deeper surge of affection for the girl, "I have been meaning to tell you. I love the braids you've been rocking," he took the end of one in between his fingers.
"Thank you. It's all Draco. He's really good at it."
"Draco is braiding your hair?" Harry blinked, entirely shocked that Draco would do such a thing.
"Yeah, why?"
"No reason. They look amazing on you," Harry blinked, a bit confused.
"Actually... I think if everyone with long hair got it braided for battle, it could be safer," Luna offered.
"That sounds like a great idea. Talk to Malfoy. Tell him to come up with something that could work well for most people," Harry smiled and rolled his mat.
"Wait, let me reconnect your magic," Luna stepped in front of him she began singing a different song, and moved her hands in the reverse order.
As soon as his magic was pumping through his veins, and he thanked Luna again, he apparated back into the house. He needed Hermione.
Andromeda wanted to kill someone. Why didn't anyone tell her Ms. Weasley was so far out on her last prescription? There were absolutely zero traces of any potions except for a birth control potion which was not due for another 3 months. Her conversation with Luna had been extremely useful. If only she could speak to Madam Pomfrey or have access to Ms. Weasley's records. Hermione peeked into the Infirmary and motioned for her to come outside. The brunette's eyes were very red. Andy told Lady Greengrass she would be right back.
"Is something wrong?"
Hermione lifted a privacy bubble around them. "Luna told Harry what happened to Ginny."
Andromeda sighed. "And he told you?"
"We share thoughts. It's not as if he could hide it from me. He's really messed up about it. But I will not tell a soul... I just want to know... What we can do to help her? Medically, do we need to order anything special?" Hermione asked, trying not to cry again. "Can we get her anything at all that could ease things a bit for her?"
"Not yet. I will not risk putting her on any potion regimes without checking her medical history first. Luna described the potion, but it could be one of five, and Ginny's mind is in no condition to play musical chairs," Andromeda replied as she considered alternatives.
"But what will you do until then?" Hermione asked, dreading the answer.
"Her family has authorized me to keep her under a light sedation."
"For how long?" Hermione frowned. Sedation, magical or not, wasn't ideal for long-term use.
"Until we figure out what potions she was on."
"Then we need to do that as soon as possible," Hermione replied.
Andromeda nodded, "Within the week. Anything else would be excessive, and I don't have to tell you how incensed she will be when she realizes she has been under without her authorization," the healer grimaced.
"We will be there with you to explain. You are doing your job, and you are incredible at it... How's Mrs. Weasley?"
"Honestly? Not so good. I have started her on potions, but all that happened yesterday didn't help her at all," Andromeda sighed. "Please have Kreacher come see me so I can go over her new diet with him."
"Is this a good diet for most of us?"
"For all... It involves increasing our vegetables, fruits, and fiber. When following this diet, though, you would eat less animal protein and more vegetable protein. I don't think your trainers will be okay with that. You need the amino acids, and if you can get them from your food, I don't think we should be supplementing," Andromeda replied. "I know that Harry has a lot of money, but this house has been functioning as a resort. The poor elves are making like 4 different kinds of meals to cater to everyone. It's not fair to them, and it's very inconsiderate of the guests here to request changes to the menu that are not medically necessary."
"I didn't know that. When we cook, we only cook one dish, and nobody complains... Tell Kreacher we are all eating like Mrs. Weasley now except for the animal protein then. If anyone has a problem with that, tell him to send them to me."
Lady Chang sighed into her matcha. Her husband hadn't been this angry in years. Longwei wouldn't stop explaining himself, and that was getting on Jing's nerves. It was getting on hers as well. Chyou looked at her brother in a clear warning to shut up. The vein that popped up whenever their father was about to epically put someone down was jumping on his neck.
"And then you force me to leave! I would have taught him a lesson!" Longwei yelled; his magical outburst broke her mother's cup, and the hot tea fell on her lap. She gasped and jumped up, using her napkin to throw the remaining hot liquid away from her clothes.
"LONGWEI!" his father bellowed.
"I'm sorry, mother! Let me heal-" Longwei moved to raise his wand, but his father was faster and had him pressed against the wall with his arm crushing Longwei's throat. Chyou rushed to clean and heal her mother.
"Don't touch her!"
"Father! I would never hurt her on purpose!" Longwei grunted, offended.
"Just like you didn't intend to hurt Ginevra as much as possible?! Humiliate her? Insult her and her family?"
"What was I supposed to do?! Let her stab Marcus?"
"Petrify her! Tie her up! Silence her! You are so hot-headed in the protection of your soldiers that you see everyone as the enemy!" Jing replied angrily.
"She started it!"
"Are you hearing yourself?! You sound like a five-year-old fighting over a goddamned toy!" Jing threw him on the sofa. "You are embarrassing this family! Mrs. Weasley had to leave her room of mourning! A widow had to step in to defend her daughter and son from you, their trainer, and now she has threatened your life if you touch her kids again, and I am of a mind to let her have at you."
"Excuse me?!"
"You wanted to fight William Weasley! Did you forget that he's a werewolf? What were you thinking?!" Jing threw his hands up in exasperation.
"No, I didn't forget. The full moon was over-"
"Oh, I see, and so you thought that would give you an advantage! He was bruised, hurt, and tender from the change back, not to mention the successful mission he carried out with Lupin, and you thought you could one-up him? Is that it?!" Jing asked, furious.
Lady Chang gasped and looked at her son with horror, "Y-You... You wanted bragging rights!"
Chyou's eyes widened in shock.
Longwei colored. "I didn't! He attacked me! He had to have been expecting me to fight back!"
Lady Chang looked at her son with anger, "Do not lie to me! I pushed you out of my body! All 12 pounds of you that ripped me apart! I know you better than anyone! You wanted to brag that you had defeated a werewolf and lived to tell the tale! I am so disappointed in you!"
Longwei blushed furiously. Of course, he wanted to be able to say how a werewolf attacked him, and he survived thanks to his fighting skills. However, he was within his right to fight back, "You taught me never to let attacks go unanswered!"
"We also taught you to never use your privilege against defenseless girls or women!" Lady Chang snapped in a frustrated tone.
"PLEASE! She may be a lot of things, but defenseless is not one of them!"
"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?!" Chyou asked with a deep frown. His tone irked her exceedingly.
Her brother looked down and away.
"What are you trying to say!?" Lady Chang heard the exact same tone her daughter did. It was a tone that women were very familiar with... A tone of accusation of inappropriate behavior from a man that usually meant there was a woman who had been victimized and wasn't believed at all.
"My soldiers told me she's been trying to seduce them," Longwei replied. His voice was a little over a whisper.
Lord and Lady Chang exchanged an enraged look, then stared at their son as if they had never met him before.
Chyou looked like someone had ripped the floor from underneath her. Her face turned into an angry scowl, but her eyes filled with tears. She couldn't speak and she felt like breaking a lot of things with her bare hands.
"Please tell me that the operative word is trying and that her attempts were unsuccessful," his father said slowly.
"They were, but not for lack of trying on her part," Longwei rolled his eyes.
"She's a child!" his mother exclaimed, enfuriated.
"She says she's sixteen," Longwei whispered. "That makes her an adult in England!"
"She says?! To whom?! Did she come onto you?!" Lady Chang turned pale.
"Absolutely not! She tried to flirt with me too on her second day here, but I ignored her and told her to go away," Longwei replied with a frown.
"Were you alone with her?" Lord Chang's frown deepened.
"What?!" Longwei's eyes widened.
"Were you alone with her when this flirting happened?!" Lord Chang specified.
"Yes, I was in the library researching the muggle weapons we have to acquire," Longwei shrugged.
"Tell us exactly what happened," Lord Chang requested.
"What? What are you implying? Father, I would never do anything untoward!" Longwei felt really insulted.
"That is not the point! She could still accuse you of doing something to her," Lord Chang whispered.
"I would never lay a hand on her! Or any other girl here! She's a child!" Longwei exclaimed, incensed.
"Oh, so now she's a child!" Chyou exclaimed in anger. Everyone turned to look at her. "You can't have it both ways, brother! Either she's a grown woman you can manhandle because you deem it an appropriate punishment for her insubordination, or she's a child that you would never touch inappropriately, and yet you savagely threw her over your shoulder, dislocated her arm, and humiliated her in front of everyone! Which one is it?!"
"Chyou, that's not-" Longwei began.
"You don't understand anything!" Chyou yelled.
"Chyou, dear-" Lady Chang began.
"No, mother! He needs to hear it! You don't understand what it's like to be a woman and know that any man, no matter how scrawny, can overpower you easily! I know martial arts! I can fight back, and I did! I fought so hard! I really thought I could defend myself! And then, in less than ten minutes, a man had ripped my clothes off, beat me up, and fucked me against my will!"
The Changs stared heartbrokenly, no one could say a word. Up until now, Chyou hadn't told them any specifics about her time at Malfoy Manor. Lady Chang was holding her husband tightly against her so he wouldn't blow up. She was too crushed to do anything else. She had tried to talk to her daughter about what happened, but she only said, 'You know.'
Chyou stepped closer to her brother, who was both shocked and horrified, "You don't know how awful it is! There was nothing I could do but scream in pain! I yelled for him to stop until I could taste blood from my vocal cords being damaged, even though I knew it was futile! No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get away! I struggled against his hold so bloody hard! I drew most of my magic from my core to power my arms and legs, and still, he barely moved, and then he laughed at me! Just like you barely moved when Ginny tackled you! She could have broken her clavicle against your hip trying to move you repeatedly, and you wouldn't have budged because you are built like a bloody retaining wall!"
Longwei's eyes filled with tears. Lady Chang buried her face against her husband's chest. She wanted to scream. Lord Chang wanted to kill the bastard in many creative ways, each more painful than the next. He was so glad the general had cut off Malfoy's legs.
Chyou stepped in front of her brother and pulled him up before he could react, "You have no idea the fright, the frustration, how dirty and used I felt for weeks! I would scrub my skin raw, and I never felt clean enough! I still don't! Men like you could never understand the powerlessness we feel! You can destroy many women with barely any effort on your part! A man of your size," Chyou grabbed Longwei's hands harshly and forced them around her neck, making them squeeze, "How much strength would it take for you to choke me to death, huh? How much effort would it take to break my neck, huh? How easy would it be for you to throw me to the ground and force my legs open? Men like you could brutalize me for hours on end and barely get a scratch or a bite in return! We are defenseless!"
Chyou let go of her brother's hands, and he fell back down on his bum. His heart was crushed. She looked down at him, "I don't want any pity or special treatment. I survived what I went through, and thanks to Lord Black and Harry, I got the help I needed because, in case you weren't informed, Riddle is kidnapping girls like us to force them to get pregnant and have children for his troops to increase his numbers!"
Lord Chang and Longwei shared a shocked look.
"We didn't know that."
"Well, now you do. If Harry hadn't had Healer Tonks here, I could be pregnant or have an STD to add insult to injury."
"Chyou, I-"
The young woman raised her hand to shut her brother up, "You will let me finish! I am not your soldier. Ginny was in Hogwarts under the Carrows longer than I was. Toby told me that by the end of their time there, they were all sleeping in the Room of Requirement, where we trained, because torture was no longer a punishment. They were torturing people for fun. I know what she did was serious. I know she has issues. I do too. We all do. However, we have our family. We have each other. Our home is safe and sound, and our businesses will recover. She lost a brother, and that same brother caused her to lose her father and her home. I wouldn't be alright in the head either if I was her. A person can take only so much pain at a time. Next time you look at her, imagine she's me. Imagine she's beaten and cold in a dungeon with blood dripping from between her legs, feeling like she'd rather be dead than go through another day like that ever again."
Lord Chang placed his hand on his daughter's shoulder, "Chyou?"
She took a shaky breath and turned around, "Yes?"
"I am so sorry all that happened to you, and I wasn't there to protect you. I have failed you as a father, but we will make sure they pay," Lord Chang said, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "Is there anything else we can do in the meantime?"
"It wasn't your fault, father. I know they will pay," Chyou nodded. "I just want some patience as I continue to deal with this, and as soon as it's possible, I would like to see a Mind Healer."
"Absolutely, blossom... What's his name?" Lord Chang asked with a frown.
"Cormac McLaggen," Chyou replied in a whisper. "Daddy, please... don't seek him out."
"Chyou-"
"If we face him during a battle, then, by all means, eliminate him, but don't go looking for him. He's living with the Death Eaters; it would be a suicide mission," Chyou begged. "I don't want to lose you," she hugged her father tightly.
"I promise, I won't risk it until necessary," her father replied as he hugged her.
Daiyu joined in their hug, and Longwei stayed where he was. The feeling of his sister's warm neck against his fingers had him too rattled to move. After a while, he realized he was alone. Chyou had gone to see Toby, who had been nervously pacing outside. He still wasn't a part of the family, and he was made to wait outside. Her parents had left to speak with Healer Tonks. Longwei put on his training gear and went out for a run. He needed to tire his body so that his mind would follow suit. He ran for an hour, and it wasn't enough. He went back into the family room and enlarged his punching bag.
Chyou came into the family room after speaking to Toby at length about what had happened. Longwei was letting out all his frustrations into a poor punching bag that looked about to give up. His punches and kicks were vicious, and he wasn't even wearing equipment. He was so angry that he hadn't been able to beat William like he wanted to, that his father had put his authority down in front of everyone, but he was especially furious at what Chyou told him. He had done a lot of thinking as he ran. He wanted McLaggen dead. He would have to apologize to his sister. His face was sore. He had refused to go get healed at the Infirmary for the blows William had managed to land. He didn't want to see either redhead again lest he lost his scarce remaining patience and-
"Longwei?" his sister's voice approached the balcony.
"WHAT?!" he turned to her angrily.
Chyou stared at him without any words and kept eye contact without blinking. She narrowed her eyes dangerously. After a minute, he sighed. "Sorry, Chyou."
"I just came to see how you are doing. I know you haven't had a good day. I am sorry I forced you to pretend to choke me," Chyou blushed. "I know you would never hurt me."
"Yes, blossom. I know. I will be fine. I just need to channel my frustration," he turned back around and kneed the bag harshly, causing it to finally tear and fall on the inside of his ankle, making it roll outwards painfully. He could feel the injury was serious the second it happened, and he cursed loudly.
Chyou sighed. "Come, let's go see Andy or Lady Greengrass."
"No."
"They can heal you in a jiffy," Chyou insisted. She knew he would speak to her about her revelations once he calmed down.
"I will not go there, and that's final," Longwei groaned.
"Why are you being so stub-? Oh! I see... Worry not, brother. She is not there. Neither is him. Come on," Chyou pulled him up.
"How do you-?"
"I am your sister. I know you. Come on, you big baby," she draped his arm over her shoulder.
Andromeda frowned deeply at the man but had him sit on a bed anyway. She closed the curtains around the bed and did the proper diagnostic spells.
"It's a grade 2 ankle sprain. If you will stay still, I can heal it in just 24 hours of rest."
"24?! No way! Healer, please, I have people to train and things to-" the healer grabbed the swollen ankle and pulled on his foot harshly, and Longwei screamed, pulling his leg away from Andromeda.
"Oh no! Look at that... It's a grade 3 now."
Chyou looked at the healer in shock, but she said nothing.
"What the actual hell, lady?!" Longwei complained. "You did that on purpose! Whatever happened to 'first do no harm'?"
"Whatever happened to be a gentleman no matter what? Never manhandle any girls under my care again. Now, you will have to be on complete bed rest for a whole week. No putting weight on it or moving it at all," the Healer said with an obey me or else expression. She moved her wand, and his leg stretched out; the already swollen ankle and the foot were wrapped in an elastic bandage and placed into a brace.
"You can't do things like this to your patients!" Longwei complained. "You could lose your license!"
"Yeah? Watch me! Since you are a glutton for punishment, I thought you'd appreciate me thinking outside the box! Do you want me to ask Lord Potter if a sprained ankle is enough punishment for how you treated his ex-girlfriend?" Andy narrowed her eyes at the man.
Longwei blinked. He didn't know Ginny and Harry used to date. But she looked just like his mother in the pictures he had seen around the house. Ew. "Ugh. Fine. What the hell heals this faster?"
"The treatment for this type of injury is known as PRICE. P as in Protection, like your brace. R as in Rest. You can't do anything that will put stress on the sprain: no walking, running, jumping, or exercising. I as in Ice. We will ice your ankle in chunks of 20 minutes to reduce swelling. Then C as in Compression. The ankle should be wrapped with elastic bandages, and it already is under the brace. Lastly, E as in Elevation. We will always keep your ankle higher than your heart."
Andromeda waved her wand some more, and his injured leg was lifted, and bags of ice surrounded the ankle.
"Miss Chang, please inform your parents that your brother is out of commission for a week," Andy requested. "If they disagree with my treatment and want to treat it themselves, they are welcome to try a different method," Andromeda knew that traditional Asian medicine was at times preferred by such traditional families. She had talked extensively with Lady Chang about acupuncture and herbal remedies.
"Of course, Healer Tonks... Thank you for tending to my brother," Chyou nodded and left after patting her brother's uninjured thigh. He narrowed his eyes at her in annoyance. Chyou wanted no part of what had happened. Ginny had always hated Chyou, and the older girl was certain it was only worse now that her brother had disciplined the redhead. Longwei had been exceptionally harsh with the girl. Chyou didn't like the girl, but if she had been Ginny's sister, she would have pulled a Bill and tried to return the favor to him. His brother's comments about Ginny trying to seduce soldiers had stung as if he had been speaking about her instead.
"As for you," the healer created a privacy ward around them. "I will give you some information to clarify why I just injured you on purpose... Do you know the meaning of the word trauma?"
"You mean what you just gave me?!" Longwei groaned and downed the pain-relieving potion he was handed. The throbbing pain vanished immediately.
She ignored his reply, "Trauma is a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury," Andy recited. "Miss Weasley has trauma that is so serious you wouldn't be able to sleep again if I told you the extent of all that has been done to her."
"Oh, come on... She's not a victim here. Yes, she lost her father. We have all lost people to this bloody war. Pardon me for not giving her special treatment."
"That's not what I meant, you arrogant little shithead," Andromeda snapped.
"Excuse you?" Longwei attempted to stare her down to no avail.
"You may be the boss in the training field, but inside this Infirmary, I am the boss. You are used to having people believe you know best and respect your authority, but you have no power here."
"What did you mean, then? What happened to little miss fragile princess?" Longwei replied. His sister was an actual victim. Ginevra was a brat that was using her family's unfortunate situation to get away with anything she wanted, no matter how inappropriate.
Andromeda wanted to hurt him again. No, don't bother. He will eat his own words and feel like shit soon enough. "I need a wizard's oath that you will not repeat what I tell you. I am breaking patient confidentiality by doing this, but it is imperative that you know this as her trainer, and no one else will tell you."
"Fine," Longwei did the oath and looked at Madam Pomfrey with a haughty raised eyebrow.
"Ms. Weasley was ritualistically and repeatedly raped by Riddle when she was eleven years old, Mr. Chang."
Longwei's eyes widened. That was not in any realm of the possibilities he imagined, and now he felt stupid after what Chyou had shared. He couldn't say anything in response. Ginny had been eleven. It couldn't be. It was too awful. His jaw was hanging. He waited for signs of deception, for someone to say it was a joke. The healer stared at him with a neutral expression. It was true. Fuck.
"Trauma stunts development, Mr. Chang. People who go through trauma and aren't given proper therapy and medication, if necessary, will stay at the emotional age they were when the trauma occurred... You cannot expect a childhood rape survivor to be a mature young woman because the opportunity to develop normally was stolen from her. Her injured brain did what it could to bury that information and not think of it consciously, but her body remembered, and she started having PTSD."
Longwei tried to say something. He really did, but he looked like a fish out of water, opening and closing his mouth in intervals, so Andromeda continued.
"Madam Pomfrey, the healer at Hogwarts, was treating her. Her parents couldn't afford a Mind Healer, so she provided Ms. Weasley with a potion regime instead to try to keep nightmares at bay and control her anxiety that was so bad she was self-harming. I tested her blood, and she has been off her medications for so long that there aren't even small traces of it left. That means it's probably been around six months since she was treated for her condition," Andromeda explained slowly, staring at the once proud soldier as he crumbled and felt like a stupid, brutish caveman.
His eyes filled with tears imagining 11-year-old Chyou with her cute plaits tied with blue ribbons, wearing her pink kimono while playing with her dolls. Back then, she didn't care for boys at all, and all she wanted was to learn and have carefree fun. He remembered her laughing and running and being terribly embarrassed by simply tripping and falling or mispronouncing a word. Her eyes were so bright and full of hope and innocence. Longwei's mind transformed Chyou's hair into red and her eyes into the lighter brown that were Ginny's eyes. Her eyes became rounder and bigger, and her skin turned paler and was decorated with many freckles. His stomach felt as if he had a boulder land on it. She must have had so many flashbacks when my soldier grabbed her. It triggered her fight or flight response instinctually. That's why she didn't care for her safety. She knew the cost of not defending herself. It must have been life or death at some point. Fuck. And I made it worse. His head started pounding.
"She has Trauma Based Bipolar Disorder which developed in her childhood. So, just to make it crystal clear... She's not being a brat. She's not being difficult. She's mentally ill. She didn't choose what happened to her. She just survived it. Her trauma... Think of her trauma as her being sunburnt. When we get sunburnt, anything... even the slightest touch of our clothes over the damaged skin hurts horribly. Right?"
Longwei nodded a bit dumbly. He couldn't say anything.
"But Ms. Weasley... On top of her sunburn that was never fully and properly healed, she has had to deal with all the emotional turmoil from the past months of a Death Eater occupied Hogwarts, her brother's betrayal, seeing schoolmates die and be tortured, losing her father, and losing her home," Andromeda stopped for a few seconds to let the message sink in. He could see his eyes tearing up. She continued, "All of that has heightened and worsened her PTSD, especially now that she is not taking any treatment or therapy. I am not saying that what she did was okay, but it makes what you did in response disproportional and abusive. I get it. You didn't know then, but you know better now. She has already been manhandled in the past many times, and it ended with her raped and desecrated in so many ways that it would traumatize you if you had to just imagine your own sister going through them."
Longwei stared into space for a long time. He seemed to be doing just that. He was pale. His sister's words became even more real. He could still feel Chyou's heightened pulse against his fingers when she wrapped his hands around her neck. He looked down at his hands in horror.
Andromeda cleared her throat, "So, I really do apologize for worsening your injury, Mr. Chang, but you are in no physical pain anymore, and I need you to meditate on your actions for a while, and now you will have to."
Longwei simply nodded as if in a trance and pulled the pillow away from under his head to cover his face. Andromeda left, but she could tell that after he screamed into the pillow, he was crying as quietly as he could from the way his body shook under the covers.
Good, she thought. Learn some motherfucking empathy, tough guy. The line between discipline and bullying is truly thin as a thread.
Sirius and Remus sat side by side in front of the General and Lord Chang. They had been listening to the men tell them all the risks that Ginny had failed to protect herself from while trying to end the soldier she had had to fight. They had kept the blade, and Sirius had been shocked, although he didn't show it when he saw the markings. It was a ceremonial Black blade. Those should only be in the family vault at Gringotts; somehow, this girl had one. Worse still, along the hilt, what to the untrained eye looked like rubies were really glass beads full of blood. Sirius shuddered to think whose blood it was. Any scenario was not good. Remus had also noticed, but he said nothing. He merely grabbed Sirius' hand under the table in silent support and acknowledgment.
"Gentlemen," Remus interrupted the General. "We understand all she did wrong, and she has already paid for it. Harry has told us that Ms. Weasley will not be leaving this island or participating in any fighting at all."
"What?! Whatever happened to everyone pulls their own weight?" the General asked, blinking repeatedly.
Sirius exhaled loudly, through his nose, "Lord Potter has made a decision as is his right... Seeing as how it's his life that is threatened the most, and how we are all being supported in every way by Potter coffers, we should respect and support his decision," his tone was icy.
Remus squeezed his knee as if asking him to calm down. "I don't understand your surprise. Longwei, Mrs. Xu, and even you, General, have all said that Ms. Weasley is a liability. Why are you suddenly against her sitting it out?"
"She is a liability until she learns to control her anger. You are former Aurors. You saw what I saw. She's a great, strong fighter. If she could exercise self-control and self-protection, she could be a good asset," Lord Chang replied.
There was a knock at the door.
"May I come in?" Harry asked outside.
"It's your house, Lord Potter. You don't have to ask," General Xu replied with amusement.
Harry came in full hippie garb. He had on very loose linen pants and an old t-shirt from his father's clothes that now fit him. He looked comfortable, but his eyes were haunted and red, "I know my godfather has probably already informed you of what I decided."
The military men nodded.
Sirius and Remus shared a look. Something serious had happened.
"That decision is final. Ginny may or may not decide to join us in battle, but that will have to wait until she's well. I will not push her just to make sure we have another fighter. As things are, she would probably end maimed or worse, and I will not have that as another burden on my conscience."
"Pup, what's wrong?" Sirius frowned.
"I can't speak of it. I really can't," Harry looked at his godfather with a clear request to drop it.
Sirius nodded, "Alright, then. You look like you have something else you want to discuss?"
"I do... Remember the plan to get Hagrid and Madame Pomfrey out of Hogwarts?" Harry asked.
"Yes," Remus frowned. He immediately didn't like where things were going. He didn't like that Harry couldn't speak of whatever had his pulse so agitated either. Remus could hear it from his chair.
"We are going there tomorrow."
Sirius and Remus shared a concerned look.
"Lord Potter, with respect... Are you insane?" Lord Chang asked.
"You want us to break into Hogwarts tomorrow?" General Xu frowned. "Your people are not ready!"
"No, sir. I want to break into Gringotts," Harry corrected him.
Both the general and Lord Chang began laughing loudly to the point that tears fell from the corners of their eyes. Remus and Sirius just stared at him, very troubled. After a full minute, the military men noticed Harry staring at them, blinking slowly and unamused.
"You have a strange sense of humor..." the General looked at Harry, expecting the young man to break at any point. It didn't happen. He turned to his friend, "Jing, please tell me he has a strange sense of humor," the General said in a conflicted tone.
"Lord Potter, I fail to understand you," Lord Chang was pale.
"We have already spoken to Queen Anord. It would be a pretend break-in. Only she would know in advance. It must look real."
"Look real?" Sirius frowned.
"Whatever for?" General Xu asked.
"We have strong reasons to believe that another Horcrux is there."
"What!?"
"I was talking to Draco about getting me a new familiar-"
"A familiar for?"
"To sneak into Hogwarts undetected, but that is not the point. Draco said that his aunt Bellatrix had asked Pansy Parkinson to move something for her using the Vanishing Cabinet late last year. Draco saw it. It was a cup."
"A cup?"
"Yes. We've been doing research with Professor McGonagall. We think Hufflepuff's Cup is a Horcrux. Dobby, who used to work at Hogwarts, said that he had seen it in the Come-and-Go room and that it felt evil from far away, so he levitated it to the top of mountains of items that were brought to the room to be forgotten."
"The what?" General Xu blinked.
"The Room of Requirement. It's a room in Hogwarts that appears and transforms itself according to what the person trying to get in needs," Remus explained. "That's where the P.A. used to train. Elves call it the Come-and-Go room."
"I see. And what does us going to Gringotts have to do with rescuing Mr. Hagrid and Madam Pomfrey?"
"Some of us will go to Gringotts. Some of us will go to Hogwarts. The idea is that when we break into the bank, one of the corrupt goblins –that Queen Anord wants to skin alive for treason by the way –will for sure let Riddle know. Most of his forces will come to Gringotts to try and protect the cup."
"And while they leave our other group will break into Hogwarts and rescue them?"
"Yes," Harry nodded.
"Right. I only see like 100 different problems with this dual plan," the General blinked as he looked around.
"Only 100?" Lord Chang asked with wide eyes.
"Yes. But the first and most important one is... Who the fuck do you think will want to break into Hogwarts when Riddle is still there?"
"I agree. His minions may leave him, but I don't think he will leave the castle. Why would he?" Remus asked
"We will smoke him out," Harry grinned.
The General looked at him like he was insane.
"Smoke him out you say? How?"
"Are you familiar with gasoline as an accelerant for fire?" Harry smirked.
"You mean to attack one of the best sorcerers of all time with muggle fire?"
"Nope. TNT. Unless any of you can get us C4 in a limited time frame," Harry replied with a shrug.
Remus turned to Harry in shock. "Dynamite? C4? You want to blow up Hogwarts?!"
"Wouldn't that take like a lot of dynamite?" Sirius blinked.
"A considerable amount. We would need less C4 but I don't expect anyone to get us C4 in less than 24 hours. We could always break into one of the Army's military bases or borrow some from the US Navy. One of their ships is nearby, but it's too risky" Harry shrugged. "What we want to do is to collapse all access to Hogwarts, except for air."
"Whatever for?"
"Only the Headmaster or Headmistress can apparate into and out of Hogwarts. Queen Anord says that Firenze the centaur told her that Riddle has tried in vain to have Hogwarts accept him as a Headmaster after he forced Snape to quit. So, currently they must leave the grounds to be able to apparate."
"And you are only telling us this now?!" the General asked, shocked.
"I only learned of it a few hours ago and this day has been a whirlwind. Sirius, any chance you could convince Madam Bones to cut off Hogwarts from the floo network for a few hours?"
"I can try. No promises though. We aren't in a favors stage yet..."
"Get Susan to do abject begging as well," Remus suggested.
Harry nodded, "I already talked to her so she could soften her aunt first."
"Fine. And where are we getting the TNT from?"
"We already have it."
"What? Where?!"
"I had Dobby and Kreacher create a storage space up in the highest mountain here. It's a cave. Potter blood is required to open the gate so it's safe."
"How did you get it?" Sirius frowned.
"Well, let's just say Queen Anord is willing to do anything to get Riddle far away from her nation. The financial loss they've had since this began is astronomical. She has had to let go of many tellers in different branches."
"Understood. Are you sure you have enough?" Remus asked.
"Yes, I went over the calculations for the area, explosion radius, potential fires, the works."
"You did the math?"
"No. Hermione, Luna, and Chyou did the math. Toby and Neville double-checked it. I just punched numbers into the calculator," Harry replied with narrowed eyes. "Your lack of faith in my skills hurts me... You can run your own numbers if you want... Anyhow, we have the TNT, wires, and the gasoline to extend the fires."
"Now all you need are suicidal people..." the general chuckled.
"I'm in," Remus and Sirius replied right away.
"Thank you. One of you needs to come with me to Hogwarts."
"Hell no," Remus shook his head, as did Sirius.
Harry was slightly disappointed, but he asked them to risk their lives. He visibly deflated but nodded. "I understand... I can't make you do this."
"What?! That's not what we meant," Sirius shook his head.
"We meant you are going to Gringotts, not the castle!" Remus added.
"No. I am going to Hogwarts. I owe this much to Hagrid and to Madam Pomfrey."
"NO. Riddle will be there. You can't go," Sirius insisted.
"I don't really see the point in sending me to Gringotts. It will be swarmed by Death Eaters. I could potentially be in more danger there," Harry shrugged.
"Are you hearing this? He thinks he will be in more danger with Death Eaters than Riddle!" General Xu threw his arms up.
"Did you forget we placed many of them on Most Wanted lists? That I am offering an obscene amount of gold for their heads? Do you think they will not try to kill me and anyone I care about?" Harry asked with a frown.
"I will talk to my men. But I think you need to sit this one out, Lord Potter," the general nodded at Sirius and Remus. "You don't have a stone to your staff yet. You and general Granger need to have a fully functioning and powered staff before you go into battle again."
"Dobby!"
"Yes, master?" the elf appeared with a bow.
"Please ask Mr. Ollivander if the staffs are ready," Harry requested.
Dobby vanished.
"What?" Sirius blinked.
"When did you get stones for them?" Remus asked.
"Mr. Ollivander asked me for the jewel ledger of House Potter. It was in between all the ledgers I received. I gave it to him. He made suggestions, and with Queen Anord's help, Dobby was able to bring us the stones that Mr. Ollivander and Mr. Gregorovitch wanted to have us try out," Harry smiled.
Dobby popped back into the room, "Mr. British Wandmaker says staffies will be ready tomorrow at noon. He says they is needing final touches," he replied.
"Good. Please bring all my people into the dining room. We need to talk," Harry requested.
Dobby nodded and popped away.
"Harry?" Hermione knocked on the door.
Harry went and opened the door for her.
"We need to do something extra when going to Hogwarts," Hermione said with a concerned face.
"What?"
We need Ginny's medical records, Hermione thought to him. They may have ruined Madam Pomfrey's memory, so we can't rely on that.
Of course, he replied, nodding.
Everyone else in the room shared a look. Whatever they were privately discussing couldn't be good. Sirius began planning how to convince Amelia to tamper with the floo network. The general hoped some of his men would be willing to come to England. Remus was dreading his conversation with Tonks, but he had to tell her about this new plan. After all, this was the plan with the highest likelihood that they could all die... If they were lucky. If they survived but were captured... the horrors that awaited them were such that they would rather die.
A/N: Thank you for reading, for your kind words, and for your patience. I appreciate you telling me about your pets and sharing your own loss. It makes me feel less alone. As for the additional A/N at the beginning, long-time readers know that I am not fond of Trigger Warnings in general, but I understand that some SA survivors need a heads up about potentially triggering content in case they are having a bad mental health day. I am sorry if this was too much for some readers, but now you know what happened to Ginny in my plotline. I will probably expand on this in later chapters. I hope you are safe and healthy wherever you are. -Lux-