Hello world!
Damn, I'm almost too embarrassed to write here. It's been more than 2 years(!) since I've posted chapter 5. So much changed in my life, you have no idea. I'm not going to make excuses for myself though, I'll simply admit that it's entirely my fault.
I was thinking if I should just give up on this story, but somehow I couldn't. Every time I received a notification, saying that yet another person is following "Loudly, Brightly", that somebody added it to their favourites, I felt so bad and so grateful at the same time.
Lately I started writing again. It was not chapter 6, just some random scenes that I hoped would happen in the later chapters. And I had so much fun! That's why I decided to give this story one more chance. I found the notes on the chapter 6 that I had made back in the day, and tried to make something out of them.
The chapter 6 became so long that I had to split it into two parts, but I'm really happy that it's finally here. I really recommend you to read the previous ones (which I edited a little bit), and more importantly the prequels. The character which appears in this chapter comes from "Memories of the Happy Days,", so reading it first will give you some context. Just sayin'
The future update may be veeery inconsistent (since I'm an university student now, hehe), but this time I will try my best to not stop until I actually finish it. We still have a lot more to cover after all.
Last but not least, I want to thank you. It's all because of you that I came back to this story. I'm very grateful for y'all :)
Okay, enough with the boring stuff, let's go!
"What is this? Am I some kind of slave?" Shizuka murmured under her breath while sweeping the courtyard. It became her regular duty since she was completely useless in kitchen, but she hated it with passion. The wind blew stronger, and feeling the chilly breeze on her skin she shivered. Summer was long gone, and winter, which initially seemed like something very distant, was becoming more and more visible with each passing day, worsening her mood greatly. She really disliked winter. Thinking about the cold and unpleasant season made her even more annoyed.
"Ah, so cold! Forcing me into this, what a bastard," she continued with her complaints, this time focusing on Hijikata, who assigned her with the despicable job.
"You're not afraid he might hear you?" a voice called out. She turned around to see Harada standing on the stairs and looking at her.
"I don't care. He can bring it on if he wants to."
Harada snorted in amusement at her comment and pointed at the object she was holding.
"Gonna defeat him with that broom?"
"That would be something," Shizuka said, the image making her smile dreamily. Harada chuckled, and made his way down to her.
"Do you want a hand with this?" he proposed, reaching for the broom in her hand. She stopped him.
"No, thanks. I'm almost done." She smiled at him and he eyed her curiously.
"Hm... Who would've thought."
"What?"
"Despite your attitude, you're quite dutiful," he teased and the girl glanced at him, unamused.
"What do you take me for? Some kind of slacker?" she exclaimed. Harada's only answer was silence. He was looking away, avoiding her glare.
"Seriously?!" Shizuka fumed and the man couldn't hold in his laughter anymore. She didn't find it as funny as he did, and smacked him with the broom, a sudden attack catching him off guard.
He looked at her, his eyes widened, but she shrugged indifferently.
"You deserved it." Hearing this Harada just scoffed, deciding to humour her.
When Shizuka finished, they sat down on the bench in front of her room. They stayed there for a longer while, a relaxed silence between them.
"Do you really think I'm a slacker?" she asked him after a moment. He glanced at her with a smile.
"Not necessarily, but… Remember when we left back in the summer? You were all about seeing us out, but didn't even wake up on time." Oh, there was something like this , she recalled and gazed at him bashfully.
"I always had problem with waking up early," she admitted and Harada nodded readily in agreement.
"Yeah, I know. Waking you up for breakfast is nearly impossible."
"C'mon! I'm not that bad," she countered, earning a doubtful stare. She was thinking frantically, looking for something to counter him with.
"I'm good with staying up late," she murmured and looked away, realizing how weak that sounded. "I waited for you back then, didn't I?"
"Don't even remind me. I haven't seen Shinpachi that wasted in a long time. And when Hijikata-san showed up..." Harada said, smirking.
"Pfft, that was the best!" She laughed at the memory of that night.
"Are you sure they're coming back tonight?" she asked and Heisuke nodded.
"Yup. Yamazaki told me this morning."
"But it's so damn late..." Shizuka started, but in that moment she heard something in the distance and jumped up from the stairs. "Finally!" The boy looked at her in confusion.
"What?"
"They're coming," she said and Heisuke also stood up, listening.
"I can't hear anything though. You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm sure," the girl smiled at him.
After a few minutes the noises grew louder and Toudou glanced at her with a wide grin.
"Woah, your hearing's amazing, Shizuka-chan!" She didn't get to answer as the gates opened and soldiers went inside.
Shizuka and Heisuke got spotted by the commanders right away. The two men approached them.
"Heisuke, what are doing here?" Hijikata asked, squinting his eyes dangerously at the younger man.
"Shouldn't you rest?" Kondou spoke up in a lot calmer tone. The boy looked away from vice commander's piercing stare and focused his eyes on the other man.
"I'm fine already," he assured and showed his forehead. A few days ago Yamazaki agreed to take off the bandage since the wound was healing very well. Now the only sign of his past injury was a thin, barely visible reddish line. Both men eyed Heisuke with scepticism, then turned to look at Shizuka.
"It's true. Yamazaki-san allowed him to leave his room," she said and they nodded in acknowledgement, clearly trusting her words more. She chuckled seeing Heisuke's frown.
Hijikata's brow furrowed again though, and this time his glare reached Shizuka as well.
"Why are both of you out here anyway?"
They looked at each other helplessly, neither of them eager to take the task of explaining.
Kondou smiled at them and shielded them from Hijikata's stare.
"Never mind, Toshi. But you should go to your rooms now and get some rest," he said, ushering them down the corridor and away from the vice commander. He excused himself after a moment, glancing back towards the common room.
"I have some more things to discuss with him. Goodnight, you two," Kondou said, smiling gently at both of them. They bowed to him and continued on their way.
Suddenly a voice called out from the shadows.
"Yo, Heisuke, Shizuka-chan!" The girl turned around and noticed two silhouettes hiding behind a tree.
"Sano-san, Shinpachi-san, what are you guys..." Heisuke exclaimed, but they gestured him to stop. "Shhh, quiet," Shinpachi hissed, grabbing younger man's arm. "What if Hijikata-san hears you?"
Then, Nagakura started pushing Heisuke towards the quarters, not minding his continuing questions. Shizuka felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and met Harada's warm smile.
"Long time no see," he said.
"Yeah," she answered, grinning back at him. "What's going on?" He glanced at her, then pointed with his chin at Shinpachi.
"He wants to celebrate." Harada gestured with his hand, raising an imaginary sake cup. She hummed in understanding. The news of their accomplishments reached all the way to Kyoto, so she was not surprised that they wanted to drink to that.
"Sure, but why are you dragging me along with you?" He threw his arm around her shoulders, grinning at her.
"The more the merrier, don't you think?" She gazed at him, her eyebrow raised.
"Should I call Hijikata-san then?" Shizuka said, her comment making him laugh.
"Maybe another time." He increased his pace, his steps lively and energetic despite the late hour, and they caught up with the rest of their small group. She looked up at him and chuckled at his excitement.
After some necessary stops, they have reached Heisuke's room and decided to settle there. As Shizuka was looking around curiously, the younger man started complaining to his friends.
"Can't we go to one of your rooms? Or Shizuka-chan's? Why mine?" he whined, giving the girl nervous side glances.
"Yours is the furthest away from Hijikata-san's," Harada explained. Shinpachi was eyeing Heisuke closely and spoke up.
"What? Shizuka-chan's room? You're pretty bold, aren't you, brat? Going into girls' rooms so easily." Hearing this, the boy blushed furiously and looked at Shizuka with pure horror written all over his face.
"I... I didn't mean..." he stuttered.
"I know. Don't worry about that." She offered him a reassuring smile and then glanced at two snickering men unamused. Heisuke soon realized that he's been taken advantage of and he turned away, offended. Harada and Shinpachi distributed the cups and poured sake, while Shizuka took care of the snacks. Both men were trying so hard to appease Heisuke, one of their methods being bribing him with alcohol, that soon he stopped pouting and their little party continued in a nice atmosphere.
"So how was it?" Shizuka asked, while munching on a mochi.
"Well, we had some minor issues, but it was mostly a success."
"Minor issues?" Heisuke repeated and exchanged looks with the girl. Harada nodded and went into details.
Once they had arrived at Aizu manor, they were refused right away. The leader of that group was claiming that he haven't received any orders concerning the Shinsengumi and at best they could become reserve forces. This news angered Hijikata and he had decided to move out of the camp and follow the traces of the rebels. At the same time Kondou went to the higher authorities of the Aizu clan. Soon the troops stumbled upon first signs of the ongoing battle and decided to split up.
"I went to Kuge Gate. There was a really weird guy there."
"Weird?" Shizuka and Heisuke asked in unison, completely absorbed in the story.
"Well he was fighting on Choshu's side, but he seemed really out of place. Almost like he wasn't one of them, just simply tagging along," he said thoughtfully. "And he was pretty strong too." Shizuka knew Harada's skill, so this remark meant that the man must've been truly excellent.
"Also..." the man looked at Heisuke, hesitating. After a moment he breathed out and continued. "Saito said that back at Hamaguri they have met the guy who injured you. His name is Amagiri Kyuujyu."
The boy stiffened, his hand unconsciously reaching towards the injury on his forehead. He didn't say anything, but his mood visibly worsened. She quickly turned to Shinpachi, trying to change the topic.
"What about you, Shinpachi-san?"
"I went to Tennō Mountain with Hijikata-san, since that was supposedly where the leaders of Choshu were going. When we were on our way, some asshole appeared." Shizuka noticed that Shinpachi's speech was slurred slightly, his cheeks a faint shade of red. He was drunk.
"It was another guy from Ikedaya, the one who wounded Souji," he grumbled and she froze at his words.
"How do you know?" she managed to say, and Harada's eyes widened slightly, hearing how unnatural her voice sounded.
"That damn bastard was bragging about it!" Shinpachi yelled in exasperation. "He came out of nowhere, killed one of Choshu soldiers, and started spouting nonsense. I wanted to kick his ass, but Hijikata-san took him on instead. The rest of us went after the rebels, but we only found their bodies. They had already committed seppuku," Shinpachi ended finally.
She wanted to ask. She was dying to, but she feared that this might seem suspicious. Members of the Shinsengumi were always cautious with the information they've gathered, so being too curious was dangerous.
The temptation, however, was too strong. She had to ask. She was hoping that her interest will be written off simply as curiosity of the person who witnessed the incident. This explanation made sense, so she tightened her fists and decided to go for it. She looked up at Nagakura, who was answering Heisuke's question.
"Do you know his name?" she spoke up and the man glanced at her.
"Ah, his name... It was Kazuma or something," he told her. Harada shook his head and turned to her, while glancing at Shinpachi with disapproval.
"Not Kazuma, you idiot. It was Kazama. Kazama Chikage," he corrected.
A wave of disappointment hit her, almost leaving her breathless. She was hoping that the oni from Ikedaya was the man she was looking for. After meeting him, and learning about Shunsengumi's interest in Sawamura, she was almost sure that he was the guy. She clenched her teeth momentarily. Suddenly she felt a hand on her arm.
"You okay?" Harada whispered. She stared up at him, surprised that he noticed anything.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He offered her a smile and she couldn't help but smile back. She decided to deal with her thoughts later, once she's alone.
Shinpachi clapped his hands, nodding vigorously in agreement.
"Exactly! That's what I've been saying this entire time. Kazuma!" He reached for his cup and emptied it in one gulp. His expression darkened.
"That asshole, treating us like some lowlifes. He got away this time, but if I see him again, he's dead!
"What do you mean he got away?" Heisuke asked. Shinpachi haven't heard the question, busy with filling up his cup again.
"Satsuma appeared and interrupted Hijikata-san's fight," Harada said.
"Satsuma?" the younger man exclaimed in shock.
"They helped Aizu with the rebels. That Kazama guy seemed to be one of them." When he heard the name, Shinpachi's back straightened.
"Just wait till I get my hands on him. I'm gonna make him eat his words. Every single one!" The man was getting louder and louder, and Harada's attempts to quiet him had no effect anymore. Nagakura continued to curse at the stranger.
In this racket she suddenly heard a distinctive noise. Steps. Without much thinking she tugged at Harada's sleeve and stood up, pulling him along. He stared at her for a moment, confused, but after a few seconds his ears also picked up the sound. He grabbed her hand and they fled quickly through the backdoor, leaving Heisuke and Shinpachi, who was still shouting, alone.
They barely managed to hide in the shadows before Hijikata appeared in the room.
"What the hell is going on here? he yelled, startling Nagakura. He turned around slowly and gasped upon seeing the vice commander. Seeing his expression, she had to cover her mouth, otherwise she would have blown their cover.
"They're screwed," she whispered. Shinpachi sobered up in an instant and together with Heisuke they tried to explain the situation, but Hijikata had none of their excuses.
"Completely," Harada agreed, snickering. They stayed in the bushes longer, just laughing at the demise of the idiot duo.
When Hijikata finished with the two men and left, Shizuka and Harada also decided to call it a day. He accompanied her all the way to her doorstep and they wished each other good night with pleased smiles.
The girl closed the door, quickly set the futon and laid down with a heavy sigh. She recalled the earlier conversation and buried her face in the covers. She's already calmed down after the revelation, so she could think rationally. Shizuka realized that finding Sawamura so quickly would be too easy, especially if he was so important. She was too hasty and jumped to conclusions all on her own, so this nasty feeling of disappointment was entirely her fault.
The girl breathed out and closed her eyes. She concentrated on the positive things. At the beginning she knew nothing, but after meeting the Shinsengumi she's got a lead on her enemy. Shizuka knew that this would be difficult, but she was sure that she would succeed in the end. She had to. For them.
She crossed her arms on the chest, mumbling insults at the cold wind, and glanced at Okita, who was walking beside her. Is he alright already? she wondered. It's been a few months since the incident in Ikedaya and Yamazaki said that the man was fully recovered, but she couldn't help but have doubts about it.
He seemed alright, but these days she was often witnessing his coughing fits, similar to the one he had back in the summer. He'd never said anything, so she also didn't comment on that, but she was worrying every time. She was so lost in thoughts that she haven't realized that he noticed her stare and was looking back at her.
"What is it?" he asked and she looked away quickly.
"Nothing."
"Hm..." He leaned in, trying to catch her eye. She was avoiding his gaze for a longer time, but when he got so close that their faces almost touched she stepped back and glared at him.
"What?!"
"Just... You were looking at me for so long, and with such an intense expression..." he started, while looking in the distance, his voice overly emotional, making her snort. What the hell is he getting at? Okita then showed her a crooked smirk she knew so well already, and glanced down at her.
"Don't tell me you fell for me?"
She knew he'd say something stupid, but he once again exceeded her expectations. Even though it happened many times before, she still couldn't get over it. Her brain was telling her to ignore it since it was just his teasing, but hearing him spout nonsense like this was infuriating every single time, rational thinking forgotten. She couldn't explain why he had such an effect on her, even if she'd wanted to. Shizuka closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to calm down. Unfortunately it didn't help much.
"Where do you take this bullshit from? I mean seriously!" she yelled and he started laughing, angering her even more. The girl looked at his grinning face in distaste and sped up, leaving him behind. Okita caught up right away and continued his teasing.
"Oh c'mon, Shizuka-chan, I'm just joking," he pleaded, nudging her with his elbow familiarly. She wasn't planning on having peace with him that easily, though. She turned to him, a snarky remark at the tip of her tongue, but suddenly she noticed something. She stopped abruptly, completely shocked. Okita gazed back at her curiously, tilting his head.
"Shizuka-chan?" he called out to her, but she didn't hear anything.
Before the man could react, Shizuka ran off and disappeared behind the building. It can't be, right? she thought, frantically making her way down the street. She used the search for survivors as an excuse to leave the headquarters, but she's never really thought about actually looking for them. That bloody corridor appeared in her head, a memory of it still as fresh as if all of it had happened just yesterday. They were all dead, I'm sure, she agonized.
Shizuka finally spotted the familiar silhouette, and after looking closer her legs almost gave out.
"M-Mayuri?" she said, her voice shaking. The person in front of her froze momentarily. When she turned around, Shizuka gasped.
"Shi... Shizuka-sama."
For a longer while they were looking at each other silently, overwhelmed by emotions. Then the woman rushed to Shizuka's side and clutched her hands tightly.
"Oh, Shizuka-sama! How... How are... I thought you..." Mayuri spoke incoherently, crying. The girl felt her own eyes watering, but she blinked the tears away.
She heard the footsteps drawing closer and knew that it was Okita, he was searching for her. While she was calming down Mayuri, she sensed that he appeared behind them.
"There you are Shizuka-chan. I may have to kill you for running off like that." At his words she felt Mayuri's body stiffening. She stopped weeping.
"There's no need. I wasn't planning to run away," she answered him dismissively, her full attention on her friend. "It's okay, he's with me." She gave Mayuri's arm a reassuring squeeze and the woman relaxed slightly. Okita noticed the presence of another person and stepped closer.
"And who is that?" he asked coldly.
"She's one of the survivors from the mansion," she told him, realizing that there was no point in lying.
"Really?" His eyes widened.
"Yes. So..." she turned to Okita. "Could you give us a moment? I would like to talk to her." He glanced at her, studying her face sceptically.
"So that you can run away with her? I don't think so."
"I won't run away. I swear," Shizuka assured, returning his stare. They were looking at each other intensively for a long, charged moment. She could see that he was reluctant, but she had no intention of giving up, which was conveyed clearly by her unyielding eyes. After a while he finally looked away, sighing.
"That bench, ten minutes," he said, pointing at the nearby seat. She nodded and reached for Mayuri's hand. Before she could do that, Okita grabbed her own arm and looked at her seriously.
"It's only this one time," he warned her.
"I understand." He let go of her, went towards the nearby building and leaned against its wall, gazing at the busy street.
Shizuka took the woman's palm and guided her to the bench. When they finally sat down, Mayuri bombarded her with questions.
"Shizuka-sama, who is that man? He's wearing the Shinsengumi uniform. Those men are so scary, how come you're with one of them? And how... How are you alive?" Her voice trembled at the last question. Shizuka looked at the woman compassionately and covered her shivering hand with hers. She explained briefly her current situation and revealed how she got out that night, leaving out the horrible details.
"And Kurai-sama?" Mayuri inquired.
"I was too late," the girl said quietly. Hearing the sadness in Shizuka's voice, the maid swallowed heavily. The girl shook her head and turned to her friend with a strained smile.
"What happened to you? Did anyone else get out that night?"
"Yes. Five of us managed to escape," she told her lady.
Shizuka noticed that Mayuri is shaking and gazed at her with concern.
"Mayuri, are you alright?" Suddenly the maid slipped from the bench and fell on her knees in front of the girl.
"I'm... I'm so sorry!" she lamented. Shizuka stared at her in shock, then grabbed her arms to help her up. She glanced briefly at Okita, anxious about his reaction.
"What are you doing?"
"It's our fault that Kurai-sama... that he..." She started crying and kept apologizing.
"I don't understand. What are you talking about?"
Slowly, Mayuri explained what she'd meant. When attackers surrounded the house, Harunosuke somehow secured the gate in the backyard and helped the people who were still alive escape. He ordered them to run without looking back and protected the route by himself.
"H-he must've been distracted, he was making sure that all of us are safe. That's why..." the maid sobbed. So that's why there were so many bodies in the backyard, Shizuka realized. She was wondering what exactly had happened, how a swordsman as skilled as father could lose, but now she finally understood. That's so like him, to put others first and not spare a thought for himself. Father...
She looked at Mayuri and crouched next to her. The woman looked at her startled, and tried to stop Shizuka, but the girl just threw her arms around her friend.
"You have nothing to apologize for. You were his precious subordinates, of course he had to do everything to keep you safe." She smiled, this time a real smile, and waited for the woman to calm down.
When Mayuri finally wiped her tears away, Shizuka asked about the other survivors. The maid told her that all of them left for their hometowns in fear of being found.
"Actually, I'm also leaving Kyoto soon," she admitted.
"Then it's very fortunate that we managed to meet."
"Yes. It's truly amazing that we found each... Ah!" Mayuri gasped in the middle of the sentence and turned to the girl.
"Shizuka-sama, we must meet again before I leave! We have to!" Shizuka nodded, a little taken aback by how desperate the maid sounded.
"When are you leaving?" The woman counted quickly and then held out the appropriate number of fingers.
"On the seventh day. Let us meet on the day of my departure, then. We must meet for sure, Shizuka-sama! It's very important!"
"Okay, okay. I'll try my best to arrange it. But what's so important?"
"You'll see," Mayuri said mysteriously and the girl's eyebrow shot up.
She was about to inquire further, but in that moment she noticed Okita. He was looking at her, gesturing that the time was up. She nodded and stood up.
"Alright. Let's meet here in the morning."
"Yes, Shizuka-sama," Mayuri agreed readily and they hugged again. Then, despite the girl's protests, the woman bowed deeply to Shizuka, and with that they parted.
She came up to Okita, lost in thoughts. He seemed to have noticed her state because he
wasn't asking any questions.
"Let's go catch up with the rest," he said, though she wasn't really listening.
A week... Who's patrolling next week? She tried to remember the order, mumbling captains' names under her breath. Tomorrow is Saito-san and Heisuke I think. Then Sano-san and Okita-san. Then... She drew up a schedule in her head and when she finally reached the wanted day, she let out an inaudible whine. The morning patrol belonged to Okita. Damn it! Why couldn't it be Sano-san?! She looked at the man, her eyes full of resignation. Just how am I going to convince him again?
After the talk they had back in the summer, their relations improved greatly, she couldn't deny. They were talking (more or less) normally, he also let her tag along on his patrols. But she could still feel that he was distant, more than the other captains. It was as if he was intentionally drawing a line between them. She didn't mind though, after all being close with him was not a matter of importance to her. She didn't care until now.
How am I gonna ask him? He already barely agreed the first time. She was pacing anxiously in her room, trying to come up with some ideas on how to convince Okita. Kissing up to him? the sudden thought appeared. She scowled immediately, a disgusted huff escaping her lips. "Yeah, right. Over my dead body."
After spending such a long time with the Shinsengumi she learned a lot about the captains. She knew their personalities, their likes and dislikes, their views and opinions on various matters. Out of all the men, only Okita remained a mystery. All she knew about him was that he adores Kondou, that you can never tell if he's joking or serious, and that his favourite activity is playing around with other people, especially with Hijikata. Unfortunately this limited knowledge was way too vague to be even remotely helpful.
So what am I supposed to do? she wondered. What if I just tell him honestly and... No. It's not going to work, not with him. She sighed heavily and opened the door. But I must meet with Mayuri somehow. Shizuka straightened her back and headed down the corridor, searching for the captain of the first division.
The girl found him in the training hall. She paused in the doorway momentarily, but he continued to practise without acknowledging her presence. Damn it, not a good start... She clenched her teeth and entered, staring at him.
"I need to talk to you," she started. Hearing her speak up, he relaxed his stance and finally turned around, raising an eyebrow curiously. She decided to not beat around the bush and just ask him openly. She took a deep breath and described the situation to him.
"So… Will you help me one more time?" she concluded, looking at him hopefully. He was simply eyeing her without a word, the prolonging silence making her feel more and more anxious. After a while he finally answered.
"No."
She didn't let the disappointment that she felt show on her face. I knew this will be hard, she remembered. She glanced up at him, her gaze unwavering. But I won't give up that easily.
"Why not?"
"I think I've told you back then that it was a one-time thing," Okita reminded her.
"It's very important to me," she pleaded, but he merely shrugged at her words.
"I don't care. Besides, I don't trust you two."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know what you two were talking about and why you're meeting again." He and his damn trust issues! she cursed, grimacing.
"I just told you! She said she's leaving Kyoto, so she wanted to meet me once more," she explained.
"Well you could be scheming against the Shinsengumi for all I know," he continued as if he hadn't heard her.
"As if! I would never do that," she countered, her patience slowly evaporating.
"Really?" That was his only answer. This is not going to work, he's way too stubborn. I need to think of something else.
"Okay. What do you want then?" she asked, gazing up at him.
"Are you trying to bribe me?" His eyes were piercing right through her.
"You won't listen to reason, so what other choice do I have?" she told him. "And don't call it a bribe. I just want to make a deal."
"A deal?" he repeated. She nodded dismissively.
Then, before she could react, Okita jumped towards her, fast like an attacking serpent, and she felt a cold blade pressing against her neck. She continued to stare straight at him.
"I could kill you for that, you know?" he said, his voice low and menacing.
"Then do it," she challenged daringly.
"You think I won't do it?"
"I know you won't." Okita was looking at her closely, as if searching for something. Shizuka simply continued to glare at him, completely unfazed.
After a long, tense moment, he spoke up again.
"You're not afraid of me at all, are you?" he murmured and finally moved the sword away. Instead of answering, Shizuka just offered him a crooked smirk. Seeing her expression he chuckled lightly. He's smiling. It's a good sign, right? she hoped, noticing his amusement.
"Fine, I'll help you," Okita said, walking away. She opened her mouth to thank him, but in that moment he turned towards her dramatically and gestured at his sword. "That is, if you defeat me." Wait, what? He wants me to spar with him? She gaped at him for a second, stupefied. She wanted to ask if he was being serious, but his arrogant smirk was all the answer she needed.
"No way," she told him.
"Then forget about making a deal."
"Are you insane?" the girl exclaimed, and his eyes widened at that sudden outburst. "You were injured not so long ago!"
He gazed at her, something appearing in his eyes briefly; then he scoffed.
"It healed months ago." Okita took few steps towards her and leaned in, startling her. "Just admit it. You're scared you'll lose, aren't you?" She snorted at those words and also moved closer, glancing up at him.
"I'm simply concerned that you'll get your bones broken again," she jabbed right back. You think I don't know what you're doing? Well two can play this game.
"There's no need to worry," he said, flashing her a smile. She noticed an angry spark flickering in his eyes, and almost burst out laughing at that.
"Oh, I think there is," she countered, offering him a grin even wider than his.
They were going back and forth like this for a few minutes, neither willing to back down. I can't. If something goes wrong, I won't be able to face Kondou-san, she decided, gazing at the stubborn man in front of her.
"I won't do it. You will have to come up with something else," she said finally and Okita let out a disappointed sigh.
"So you really are sc-"
"Think whatever you want," she cut him off immediately. He was silent for a moment and then looked at her.
"I guess there will be no deal then," he concluded and threw up his arms in a helpless gesture.
Then he turned away, ready to leave as he considered their conversation finished. No, no, no. Mayuri will be waiting for me! She said it was important, dammit! she thought, losing her mind from frustration.
"I'll do anything you want! Just help me out this one more time, please," she called out after him, her voice desperate. He stopped mid-step and looked back at her. The moment she saw his expression, she realized that she's made a huge mistake. He was staring at her with a sly smile, his eyes sparkling impishly.
"Anything?" he asked, drawing up the word on purpose. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!
He stepped closer, easily towering over her. She didn't let him see the panic that was slowly overwhelming her.
"Anything?" His face was inching towards hers.
Okay, relax. If it means I'll be able to meet with Mayuri, then it's fine, she was convincing herself.
At last, she returned his gaze and nodded firmly.
"Anything." Okita's smile widened. He was watching her for a moment longer, prolonging her suffering. After a minute he moved away, and she almost breathed out in relief.
"It's a deal, then," he said and turned on his heel. As he was stepping through the doorway, he looked at her one last time.
"I can't wait to make you do 'anything', Shizuka-chan," Okita chirped, and with that he was gone.
Shuzuka was staring dully at the place where he disappeared, too shocked to move. When she finally came to her senses, she grabbed her head, a loud whimper escaping her mouth. She crouched, feeling utterly defeated.
"I am so dead," she whispered in terror.
A week passed in a flash. Shizuka was walking alongside the first division, her mind occupied by two thoughts. One: she was happy to see Mayuri, even though they were to separate again. Two: she was absolutely screwed. The girl couldn't possibly figure out what was going through Okita's head, but she had a vague feeling that it was nothing good. Nor decent. Nor fair.
She whined inaudibly, looking at the man's back with a dark expression. Okita was silent, but every time their eyes met, he'd give her this cocky, self-satisfied smirk, making her blood boil. Bastard. Now that he's got something on me, he's having the time of his life, huh? Just you wait, she thought, glaring at him. I'll definitely have my revenge for this.
Soon, the division was passing near the place where Shizuka promised to meet with Mayuri. Okita gestured at his second-in-command and gave him appropriate orders, but Shizuka barely noticed that, since she could already see her friend sitting on the bench. She rushed towards the spot and greeted Mayuri warmly.
They talked for a long time - about important things and just nothings, while Okita claimed the same spot as before and was looking at the friendly conversation from time to time.
The sun was slowly climbing higher and higher on the sky, indicating that the time to part is nearing. Mayuri stood up with a heavy sigh.
"It's almost noon."
"You have to leave now, right? So you make it before night-time?" Shizuka remembered.
"Yes. My village is not very far, but my family insisted," the woman said with an apologetic smile. "They're right!" she assured quickly, trying to ease Mayuri's mind.
"It's dangerous to walk around at night. Yes..." Shizuka traced off lamely, feeling wistful. They looked at each other and started laughing at the same time.
"I'm happy that we were able to meet, Mayuri" the girl said and squeezed her friend's hand affectionately.
"So am I, Shizuka-sama. I'm glad that you are safe." The maid glanced briefly at Okita. "At least I hope you are." Shizuka followed her gaze.
"I'm fine. They are good men," she stated, and Mayuri smiled in relief, hearing the certainty in her lady's voice.
The woman then turned to Shizuka, her expression growing serious.
"Shizuka-sama. There is also another reason why I was so adamant about meeting you again." With those words she picked up the package, which until now was lying next to her on the bench. She showed it to Shizuka, who stared at her in confusion.
"Here. Happy birthday."
Ah, that's right. My birthday is in a few days. I completely forgot, she realized.
"Mayuri, there's no need to..." she started, not wanting to burden the woman needlessly.
"It's not from me. It's from Kurai-sama," the maid said and a long, heavy silence fell between them. A gift? From... father? But how?
The question must've been written all over her face, because Mayuri spoke up, explaining.
"Before I escaped that night, Kurai-sama handed me a bundle. When I opened it, I found money, few accessories and this." She looked down at the item in her hands. "It's not exactly a birthday gift, since it was bought back in the spring, but..." Shizuka remained silent, her body motionless. "I must apologize, but I took the money. I really..." the woman continued in a quiet, embarrassed voice, but Shizuka barely registered her words, her eyes fixed on the package. Mayuri noticed her distress and stopped talking. She offered the bundle to the girl, and her hands hesitantly grabbed it.
"Shizuka-sama?" she heard after a while and finally broke out of the daze. She looked at Mayuri. "I have to go now," the maid said and hugged Shizuka.
"I will try to visit you as fast as possible," she said, patting Mayuri's back. She noticed a man nearby. He was looking at them, as if waiting, and she figured that it must be Mayuri's brother. She lowered her head, and he returned the gesture.
"I would love that," the woman answered. She took a step back, letting go of her lady's hand. They smiled at each other one last time and then the maid joined her brother. Shizuka was watching as Mayuri's figure slowly disappeared in the crowd.
Even after Mayuri left, Shizuka was sitting on the bench and staring at the wrapped bundle, unable to move. Not knowing why she was afraid to look at what's inside. It seemed almost like a parting gift, a last goodbye, and she hated this feeling. She inhaled deeply, trying to calm down.
After a while she finally reached towards the package, her hands shaking, and opened it slowly. The wrappings revealed a pink cloth and she recognized it right away. Her heart stopped momentarily. It was the very same material that she'd seen on her last outing with Harunosuke.
The pink, cherry blossom-patterned cloth was as beautiful as she remembered it.
"Oh, father," she sighed tearfully as the memories of those happy days flooded her.
The pain struck her again, and because it's been a long time since she's experienced it, it was unbearable. She hugged the gift close to her aching chest and sobbed quietly, completely unaware of the curious stares of the passersby. Okita, who's been observing her this entire time, saw the reactions of the people, and finally went up to her, his expression cautious.
"Shizuka-chan, what happened?" he asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. He moved slightly, shielding her from the glances. "Are you okay?" She completely forgot about him, and looked up in confusion upon hearing his voice. She could barely see, her eyes swollen from the tears, her mind a complete mess, leaving her unable to articulate any reasonable response. Okita quickly realized that he was not going to get anything out of her, she was too unnerved. He crouched in front of her.
"Shizuka-chan, can you stand up? Let's get back to the headquarters, okay?" he told her. It took her a while to focus on him, and he waited patiently for her reaction. She finally nodded and stood up, or at least tried to. Her legs gave out almost instantly and she landed in Okita's arms.
He grabbed her, supporting her weight easily.
"Hey, don't you faint on me! Shizuka-chan!" he yelled, seeing her clouded gaze.
"I'm... I'm fine," the girl answered, her voice hoarse. She tried to go by herself, but he just held her closer.
"Like hell you are. You can't even walk properly."
"Let go of me," she grumbled stubbornly, pushing him away. She quickly wiped her eyes. "I said I'm fine!" I don't want him to see me like this ,she thought. Okita looked at her, and he must've seen something in her gaze because he loosened his grip and she could free herself. Shizuka turned around and started walking towards the compound.
Her pace was fast and she was not looking back. I'm so stupid. I completely lost control, she chastised herself, disappointed by her own weakness. The girl glanced briefly over her shoulder. Okita was following her, but he kept his distance. The fact that he's witnessed everything made her feel even worse.
Shizuka felt a gust of wind and shivered at the sudden chill. She tried to hug her arms to feel a little bit warmer, and her gaze focused on the package, which she's been holding tightly this entire time. The girl slowed down unconsciously, her eyes watering again. She touched the material, pressing her trembling lips together. She continued to walk down the street, but her steps lost all the liveliness. The tears were streaming slowly down her face.
Once they've arrived at the headquarters, she headed straight for her room, wishing to be alone. Okita didn't stop her, nor did he say anything. He was just looking as she disappeared behind the corner. Immediately after entering the room and closing the door, Shizuka leaned heavily against the wall, her body overwhelmed by fatigue. She slowly slid down against it and drew up her knees. She was not crying anymore, but her heart was hurting so much that she had a hard time breathing.
Hours were passing, the evening came, but Shizuka didn't move at all. Her body went numb long ago, and so did her brain. She was so lethargic that she didn't even hear a voice calling out her name. She only broke out of the daze when a hand patted her on the shoulder. She flinched, startled by a sudden touch. The girl looked up and saw Harada, his amber eyes widened in worry.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she answered a little too fast and offered him a smile. Her attempt to fool him must've been truly awful, because Harada's brows furrowed even more. He closed the door behind him and sat down on the floor next to her, resting his head against the wall.
"I think I told you before that you suck at lying," he started, glancing at her. She was looking straight ahead, her gaze distant.
"If something is bothering you, I can hear you out, you know?" the man tried again, and this time she finally looked at him.
"I know, and I appreciate that. But I need to figure this out on my own." His face fell slightly at her words.
"You sure?" Hearing the concern in his voice, Shizuka offered him a grateful smile, this time a genuine one. Somehow he always knew what to say and do to ease her worries. She put down the package, her heart feeling a little bit lighter.
"I'm sure," she told him. Harada's stare focused on her face, and after a moment he grinned back at her.
"Okay then. But remember, if you ever need anything, just..."
"Yes, yes I know. You said that already," she interrupted him with a chuckle. "You're such a
worrywart, Sano-san."
"Then don't make me worry, kiddo," he teased, ruffling her hair. Shizuka moved away with a frown.
"I'm not a kid! I'm almost eighteen, dammit!" she yelled defensively.
"Oh, is that so? Well I'm twenty four, so of course you're a kid to me." Harada noticed that he's touched upon a very sensitive topic. He decided to use it to help the girl take her mind off the things bothering her. The strategy worked perfectly, and soon they were absorbed in a playful banter.
When Shizuka realized that she was losing, she turned away from him, sulking.
"What did you come here for anyway? To pick on me?" Harada gasped, as if remembering something.
"That's right! Heisuke told me the dinner's almost ready, so I came to get you. I completely forgot about it," he admitted, scratching his head.
"Well, you are old , so of course you have trouble remembering things. It's completely normal for people your age ," she told him, the pettiness of the comment making him laugh.
"You just won't let me win, will you?"
"Never," she said, giving him the sweetest, most innocent smile. Harada couldn't help but smile back. He stood up, stretching out a hand towards her, and she took it right away. They left her quarters and headed towards the common room.
They were walking down the corridor, and Harada spoke up.
"By the way, you said you're 'almost' eighteen, right?"
"Mhm," she confirmed.
"So when is your birthday exactly?"
Shizuka tensed slightly, remembering the bundle which was waiting for her in her room. But before her mind drifted off too far, she shook her head, getting rid of the intrusive thoughts. They have almost reached the destination.
"Actually, it's this month," she answered finally.
Before Harada could answer, the door to the common room opened widely, and in the next moment Heisuke was looking at both of them curiously.
"What's this month?"
"What?" she said, distracted by the sudden intrusion in their conversation. She was still a little out of it.
"You said that something's this month. What is it?" the boy inquired.
"Shizuka-chan's birthday," Harada answered for her, having noticed her consternation.
"Really?!" the boy exclaimed and everybody in the common room looked in their direction.
"What's with all the noise, Heisuke?" Hijikata spoke up, looking at the younger man with displeasure. However even his scolding didn't lessen Heisuke's enthusiasm.
"Did you hear? Shizuka-chan's birthday is this month!" the boy chirped, and Shizuka glanced at Harada suspiciously.
"Why is he so excited over this?" she whispered.
"It must be because..."
"Then we must go celebrate!" Shinpachi yelled loudly, clearly affected by Heisuke's agitation.
"...because of this," Harada finished. She looked at him, still confused, so he leaned closer, explaining.
"When somebody's birthday is coming up we always go to Shimabara to celebrate. It became sort of a tradition. We don't go out very often, so everybody's happy to have some time off." The girl eyed him sceptically.
"You mean time off... to get wasted?" He chuckled at Shizuka's comment, and guided her to her seat.
"Yeah, pretty much," the man concluded and sat down next to her.
As she was picking up her chopsticks, she glanced around the room briefly. She didn't want the idiot duo to make a big issue out of her birthday, since she wasn't in the mood to go out and celebrate it. That's why she remained silent and just observed the situation. Heisuke and Shinpachi were talking over each other, clearly overjoyed at the idea of a free evening. She noted that Kondou seemed to share their high spirits.
"Yes, that's a very good idea! Toshi, what do you say?"
"I don't mind," Hijikata answered in his usual grumbling tone. Even Hijikata-san? Really?
Then he looked up at Todou and Nagakura, who were still standing, absorbed in a lively discussion.
"Stop jumping around and sit down," he ordered. The men joined them, and immediately started talking to Harada, sharing their already elaborate plans for the outing. Shizuka noticed that, even though he sounded so reserved a moment earlier, Sanosuke was just as excited about the whole thing as his friends were. Guys, she sighed in amusement.
She looked across the room and saw that Kondou was talking to Okita, and to her surprise, she heard her name. The girl focused on their exchange, intrigued.
"What do you say, Souji? Wouldn't that be great?" the older man spoke happily. Okita seemed to be notably less enthusiastic, but he still agreed readily to whatever Kondou had said. She instantly got suspicious. Why did they mention me? And what did he agree to? she wondered.
Kondou said few more words to Okita and then turned to face all of them.
"I just remembered that not only Yukimura has a birthday this month," he spoke up and all the men murmured in agreement. Shizuka raised her eyebrows, surprised. She had a very bad feeling about this. "And I don't think we can have a day off twice in such a short period of time." The chief looked at Hijikata.
"No way," the vice commander confirmed right away.
"Exactly. That's why I would like to hold a joint celebration, for both of you," he continued.
The men reacted positively, and Shizuka felt even more nervous. Please don't tell me it's...
"Souji already agreed..." The chopsticks slipped from her hand and fell onto her lap. Shit! Why is it him every single time? This is slowly becoming ridiculous, she thought helplessly.
"Just what kind of wretched fate is this?" she mumbled under her breath in annoyance and Harada turned to her.
"Hm? Did you say something?"
"No," she answered, sighing. The man looked at her, titling his head curiously.
"Yukimura, what about you?" Kondou addressed her after a moment. She glanced up at him, and even though she really wanted to refuse, when she saw his excitement she just couldn't do it. Damn it...
"That is… a nice idea," she told him with a wide smile plastered on her face. She was trying to look as convincing as possible, and the commander seemed to be satisfied with her response. He looked at her pleased, and then turned to Hijikata, discussing the details regarding their upcoming outing. She breathed out, relieved that the attention wasn't on her anymore.
Shizuka grabbed the chopsticks again, but she was too lost in her thoughts to even consider eating. She kept lifting them to her mouth absent-mindedly, completely oblivious to the fact that there was no food on them. The captains were absorbed in the conversations among themselves and nobody saw Shizuka's state. Only one man noticed her bewilderment. His emerald eyes were observing her closely, and he chuckled lightly, seeing how distracted she was.
There was a two-week interval between her birthday and Okita's, so the commander decided to organize the outing right in the middle. The men were looking forward to it, since joint celebration meant double the food and alcohol. Everybody was excited except for the birthday people, though Okita was a lot better at hiding his reluctance than the girl.
Shizuka was against the entire idea. It wasn't even about the fact that she was to share the birthday party with Okita. It might've been a little bit annoying, but she would be able to bear it, even if just for Kondou's sake. The real problem was her. She had absolutely no willingness to celebrate her birthday.
Ever since the meeting with Mayuri and receiving the kimono, her heart was overwhelmed with sadness. She was trying her best to hide it, since she didn't want anyone to see her distress the way it had happened with Okita that day, but it was very hard to pretend that everything was fine. Her mind was constantly being attacked by the various memories, and as the day of her birthday was nearing, it was getting increasingly more difficult to ignore those intrusions. It was especially challenging once the night came, when she was alone with her thoughts. Because of those sleepless and agonizing nights, her body was becoming painfully heavy and during the day she couldn't muster up any energy whatsoever.
Aaand part 1 down! I know it ended kind of abruptly, but if I were to post the chapter in its entirety I think it would be too overwhelming. That's why we'll leave the birthday party for the second part.
This chapter is a filler, since I didn't feel it was right like throwing in so many new characters (Itou, the oni trio and Kaoru) that early. I wanted to spend some more time with the guys before introducing all the drama. But now the party starts for real!
Again, thank you for all the support, I love you all so so much.
Feel free to leave a review, I really want to know what you guys think about the chapter.
See you in part 2! Bye :)