Hello world! Today marks one year since I've posted last chapter (I know….), so I figured why not post the next one right on the anniversary! It's a long one, so buckle up and enjoy!
They jumped down onto the street effortlessly, and stopped a few metres away from her. The golden haired man moved to the front, while the other two observed the surroundings at his sides. Shizuka stepped back even further.
"Those dumb humans wouldn't see us if we appeared right in front of them!" one of the men exclaimed with a grin, and she stared at him, trying to put a name to a face. That would be… Shiranui Kyo. Sano-san told me about his big mouth. Then Shizuka glanced over the third man. Once their eyes met, he offered her a little polite bow. Amagiri Kyuju. The one who injured Heisuke in Ikedaya. Having experienced it the first time she's seen Kazama, she knew exactly what the chill she was currently feeling meant. No wonder the guys had so much trouble with them. They are all onis.
"What the hell are you doing here?" the girl spat out coldly. She crossed her arms at the chest in a relaxed gesture, but her body was anything but relaxed. Are they here on Satsuma's orders? Choshu's? Are they here to mess with the Shinsengumi again? She glared at them, a flash of gold flickering in her eyes, her muscles tensing as she awaited their next move. Over my dead body.
"Who do you work for?" Shiranui laughed out loud at her question, surprising her. Amagiri didn't react in any way, and though Kazama was as expressionless as the man with auburn hair, Shizuka noticed a glint of annoyance in his gaze.
"Onis do not work for no one," he said pointedly. She raised her eyebrow at that, and glanced at him doubtfully.
"So why are you here then?" The man with dark hair grinned, clearly amused by her inquiry for some reason. Seeing Shizuka's annoyed glare, Amagiri cleared his throat, catching her attention.
"We are here for a specific reason." Shizuka racked her brains, trying to think of the cause for their intrusion, but all her suspicions pointed towards either Choshu or Satsuma, and judging from Kazama's earlier reaction that couldn't be the case.
"That reason is you, Yukimura Shizuka. Or should I say… Kurai Shizuka?" the man said finally, and she stared at him in confusion. What? How do they know?
"I don't understand," she whispered to herself in shock.
"Kurai has hidden you quite well," Kazama said, and she froze at the mention of Father. "Had it not been for our encounter in Ikedaya, I would probably have never found out about you." Shizuka couldn't react for a moment, her mind in the state of absolute chaos. She had no idea what the man was talking about. And how did he know Father? she wondered. She looked up, trying her best to conceal how lost she was.
"What do you want from me?" she asked. Kazama took a step towards her, and she quickly moved away.
"I want you," he said, his red eyes scanning her intrusively.
"What?" This time Shizuka failed to hide how bewildered she was.
"Female onis are incredibly rare as it is, but you," he began, taking yet another step. "You are a lot more. Not only are you a pureblood, but also one of…" He paused momentarily, as if considering something. "I was sure your kind was no more, but your existence proves otherwise." What the hell is he talking about? A pureblood? How does he know I'm an oni in the first place? She didn't know the intentions of the intruders, but her gut was telling her that they were far from peaceful.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she told him, having decided to play dumb. His eyes narrowed in ire momentarily.
"Do not try to fool me. I have seen your healing abilities with my own eyes. You are an oni. And you are a pureblood. That kind of healing speed is a feat only a pureblood can achieve." She remembered the incident in Ikedaya, and an instance when she was injured. Shit, he really did see it.
"As I said, I don't know what you are on about. Purebloods? What does it have to do with me?"
Father had rarely elaborated on the history of their clan, Yukimura, but what she knew was that despite sharing the family name with the chief of the clan, they were not related to him in a direct line. Harunosuke explained that it was simply a custom of sorts to use it, and he identified a lot more with Kurai, a name which he adopted after leaving the village with her, and which initially belonged to his distant ancestors.
However, she has never heard about pureblood onis, and didn't know what it meant.
"So Kurai-sama has never told you about your heritage," Amagiri murmured pensively. The way he spoke Father's name bore traces of familiarity, it sounded like he was talking about an old acquaintance. But Father's never said anything about other onis. Did they really know each other?
"This sword," Kazama spoke, pointing to it with his chin, and her hand instinctively grabbed the hilt of Sagami Kaneyasu. "It is called Kenmyoren. It belonged to an imperial oni princess…" Suzuka Gozen, she remembered."Suzuka Gozen," the man said. She knew the legend about the famous oni princess. Father used to tell her that when she was young, but she always thought it to be only a tale. Her eyes traveled down to the sword. Ken… Kenmyoren? But why didn't Father tell me?
"Apart from Kenmyoren there is also Daitsuren and Shotsuren, and the set has been an heirloom of the Yukimura clan for centuries." The overwhelming amount of new information made her dizzy. She was aware that they might be lying, but everything they've said until now sounded convincing. Moreover, the things they've said seemed to overlap with what Father had told her, only it was a lot more detailed.
"The fact that you are carrying Kenmyoren is no mere coincidence. You are the daughter of Yukimura household."
"I am the daughter of Kurai Harunosuke," she said with conviction, not letting the doubts that creeped into her heart show on her face. Kazama was staring at her, as if analysing her reaction. He was about to say something, but in that moment Amagiri put his hand on the man's shoulder. They locked eyes and it seemed like they had a wordless conversation.
"Believe what you want. I have no interest in that," Kazama concluded finally. Then she felt a chill, and the man closed the distance between them before she could even react.
"You are coming with us." She stumbled a few steps as his arm reached for her.
"Like hell I am." Shizuka reached for her sword, but in that moment another blade appeared in Kazama's way. He moved away, and while he did that a strong hand pulled the girl backwards.
"You just never listen, do you?" Hijikata hissed in her ear. He pushed her behind him and she landed in Harada's arms. Saito, who was standing next to Sanosuke, moved to the front slightly.
"Go with Yamazaki," Harada instructed, and as if on cue the spy materialised himself next to her.
She looked around unsurely. Both sides were on high alert, ready for a fight to break out any second. The air was heavy with tension, and she knew it was bound to end in a bloodbath. She was thinking intensely, trying to come up with some kind of plan.
I can't leave now! I need to do something!
"What are you bastards doing here? If you think you can get to the shogun..." Hijikata growled at the intruders. Kazama stared at Shizuka briefly, and then focused on the vice commander.
"Your shogun is of no importance to us," the intruder countered right away, and the vice commander paused in surprise. "We only want her. Give her to us, and we will spare you in exchange. Don't get involved in something that is not your business." A bark of laughter escaped Hijikata's mouth.
"Sorry to rain on your parade, but Yukimura's with us, so if you want anything from her it is our business," he answered unfazed, completely ignoring Kazama's threatening tone.
Shizuka's eyes darted back and forth between two groups. Yamazaki was telling her to follow him to the headquarters, his hand urging on her shoulder, but she couldn't really hear, too focused on the unfolding situation.
Kazama's hand twitched, his eyes flashing golden for a split second, and she realized that he was preparing to strike. The girl knew that Hijikata was a spectacular swordsman, but the nagging feeling of uneasiness she's felt for a while now did not subside. In that moment her senses caught the familiar feeling that has warned her about the oni's attacks before. He's ready. But so am I.
She shook off Yamazaki's hand smoothly, and before Kazama even moved, she jumped in between them, shielding the vice commander. Behind her, she could hear Hijikata inhale sharply, the sword in his hand hanging down by his leg; Kazama froze mid-step, his eyes widening slightly as the tip of Shizuka's blade glistened right in front of his chest.
"You have business with me," she said, her voice low and sharp. "And I am not going anywhere with you." The man glanced at the sword, and after a second his eyes travelled up and met with Shizuka's. They were glowing dangerously, but the girl noted something else. A spark of amusement.
This asshole's having fun now? she thought, her own eyes narrowing in anger.
Their encounter lasted no more than a few minutes, but that was enough to alarm the rest of the Shinsengumi troops. Her ears caught the sounds of commotion and she knew the onis heard it as well.
"The situation has gotten out of hand, Kazama," Amagiri said quietly, and stepped closer to the man. "Let us retreat for now." Kazama didn't seem willing to leave, his eyes lingering on Shizuka for a charged moment.
Hijikata, having gotten over the shock, stepped next to Shizuka, his arm stretched protectively in front of her.
"You heard her. Give up, and we will spare you in exchange," he spoke, throwing Kazama's words back at him with visible satisfaction. He glanced pointedly towards the gate, and back at the intruders. "You're running out of time."
Kazama's gaze focused on Shizuka one more time. I will see you again soon, she heard his voice in her head and stared at him in exchange, he offered her a fleeting, enigmatic smile.
The onis backed out and disappeared in darkness just as the rest of the soldiers appeared. Shizuka was still disturbed by Kazama's uncanny ability, but before she had the time to recover, she felt a sharp pull. Hijikata turned her so that she was facing him, his hand tightening on her forearm with an overwhelming strength. She looked up sheepishly, and yelped upon seeing his expression, fully aware why he was upset. The incident with the oni was momentarily pushed to the back of her mind.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he hissed.
"Nothing?" escaped her mouth, and she regretted it the next second, as the vice commander's face turned red, his eyes shooting daggers at her. He seemed to be one step away from smacking her over the head.
"What did I tell you before? What did I tell you?!" Hijikata's yell echoed on the empty street. "You were supposed to listen to all commands, yet you didn't alarm anyone about the intruders, nor did you escape as you were told to." Shizuka cowered under his harsh stare.
The girl had briefly considered calling out for help back then, Hijikata's instructions vivid in her memory, but in the end had decided not to. Ikedaya affair proved that no matter how strong the Shinsengumi might be, facing an oni and winning was incredibly difficult, and she didn't want to endanger any of the soldiers. When the men revealed that she was the reason they'd appeared here in the first place, she was even more certain that she couldn't get the Shinsengumi entangled.
The former reasoning could not be stated out loud, for it would be a great insult to the troops, especially to the captains who'd fought against the onis before. That's why she remained silent, while Hijikata continued to chastise her.
"So?" he said finally and she looked up at him. He was glaring at her, his arms crossed expectantly. "Explain yourself." She decided to tell the second reason for her decision, and while it was a lot less controversial than pointing out the Shinsengumi's weakness, she was sure that it was still bound to get her in trouble nonetheless.
"They seemed to be after me specifically, so why would I get others involved in this?" she responded and Hijikata gritted his teeth at her matter-of-fact tone and indifferent attitude.
"Because you're one of us, you fool! And we're looking out for one another!" he exclaimed, his patience clearly at its limit. Shizuka stared at him, caught completely off guard. She finally noticed the obvious worry in his eyes. She was sure that Hijikata was mad because of her disobedience, but his expression was saying something else. "If they have a problem with you, they have a problem with all of us. Why are you being so goddamn difficult about this?" His exasperated voice struck a chord with her, but she quickly covered up her feelings with a joke.
"You sure it isn't because I'm a girl?" she blurted out.
"Yukimura!" the vice commander yelled in irritation. She heard a snort and glanced over Hijikata's shoulder at Harada, who was looking at her exchange with the man in amusement.
She raised her hands, signalling that the vice commander's won the argument.
"Fine, fine. I apologize."
"If you think that I'll let you off the hook with…" Hijikata began again, but in that moment Shinpachi and Heisuke found their group, their appearance putting a stop to his scolding.
"What happened, guys?" Todou exclaimed as he and Nagakura approached them. "We heard there were some intruders!"
"Are you alright, Shizuka-chan?" Shinpachi asked, putting his hand on the girl's shoulder. She looked up and nodded with a smile.
"Yeah. I took care of that," she said proudly, provoking yet another glare from the vice commander.
Soon the ceremony of greeting the shogun was over, and they could finally head back to the compound. Shizuka was barely speaking, lost in her thoughts. A sigh escaped her mouth as she remembered Kazama's words. I don't think he'll give up that easily. This is ridiculous.
"He could at least buy me some dango first," she murmured to herself absentmindedly. Heisuke caught her whisper and glanced at the girl curiously.
"What was that?" he inquired. She looked up at him and shook her head.
"Ah, nothing really. Just thinking out loud."
"About what?" the young man prodded.
"About how annoying it is when people won't take no for an answer." He raised an eyebrow at her cryptic reply.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Heisuke scratched his head, completely lost. She turned to him with a sigh, but before she could say something Hijikata, who was walking a few steps in front of them, interrupted.
"If they don't understand words just beat it into their skulls until it gets through." She chuckled at his grumpy response.
"I prefer dialogue over violence, but in this case I agree with the vice commander," Saito spoke up, and it was so out of character that she looked over her shoulder at him in surprise.
"Same here," Harada added in a serious tone, but she noticed that Hijikata and Saito's words left him just as amused as her.
"Well, this has gotta be the smartest thing you have ever said, Hijikata-san. Everybody agrees!" Shizuka said teasingly and he looked over at her with murder in his eyes.
"Yukimura…" he hissed in a low, warning voice, but she just beamed at him.
"What the hell are you guys talking about?" Shinpachi cried in confusion, and Heisuke followed suit.
"Yeah, what's all this about? And why is Hijikata-san so angry?"
"Shut up," the man in question grumbled. Then he turned to Shizuka, an accusatory finger pointed right at her. "And you," he said menacingly, and she glanced up with innocent eyes. "You're not in the clear just yet." Shinpachi and Heisuke stared at the girl and the vice commander, both of them completely and utterly baffled.
So… I'm a pureblood oni? What the hell does that mean? she wondered as she was tossing and turning on her futon, her sleeping robe and hair getting all dishevelled in the process. She was very tired after today's events, but her mind seemed to be racing with dizzying speed, which made sleeping impossible.
Kazama has thrown way too much information at her, and she had a hard time processing it all. Father, as wonderful as he was, was always very stingy when it came to talking about their heritage and oni powers. Yukimura was just a name in her head, something that Father had barely ever elaborated on, yet out of nowhere somebody was telling her that she was an important figure in that clan. She had no idea what to make of everything she's heard. And how exactly did these onis and Father know each other?
The thoughts were buzzing in her head annoyingly, and everything was just becoming more and more unclear. She had a feeling that Kazama hadn't told her everything, that the crucial piece of this puzzle was still missing. A heavy sigh escaped her mouth.
Suddenly her ears picked up the sound of footsteps, and she sat down, alarmed. Are those bastards back already?
Then she heard a knock at her door.
"Yukimura, are you awake?" a familiar, kind voice spoke, and the girl immediately relaxed.
"Yes, I am awake, Innoue-san," Shizuka responded and stood up, making herself look presentable as she walked over to open the door. She greeted him with a little bow.
"Forgive me for intruding on you this late," he said and she waved her hands.
"No, no, it is fine. I was not sleeping anyway." He offered her a small, pleasant smile, and she reciprocated. "But what brings you here, Innoue-san? Is there something wrong?" she peeked outside cautiously, but he quickly assured her that everything's in order. Then he cleared his throat, donning a more serious expression.
"Hijikata-san wishes to speak with you, so I was asked to escort you to the common room." Uh oh, seems he's still not over it… Dammit.
"Oh, is that so. So the meeting is over?"
"Yes, it is. Kondou-san, Sannan-san, and the captains have already retired to their rooms." So it's going to be just me and Hijikata-san? That's just great, Shizuka thought. She stepped out, smoothing out her unruly locks as she joined Innoue's side.
"We better not keep Hijikata-san waiting then," she said, and followed the man down the corridor.
As they were slowly reaching the common room, Innoue turned to her, a hint of concern visible in his gaze.
"I have to warn you, Yukimura. The vice commander appears to be quite… agitated." I figured as much. He's so going to kill me. "I assume that it is caused by today's disturbance." Shizuka's face fell a little, and a nasty feeling of guilt that's been nagging at the back of her mind until now resurfaced with full force. The man noticed her mood, and realised his slip up.
"Please, do not blame yourself, Yukimura. It is not your fault. None of us could have predicted it," he said quickly, and put his palm on her shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze. The girl smiled gratefully at his efforts, but it did not ease the heaviness in her heart.
Innoue opened the door for her, and after giving her one more comforting smile, he closed it, leaving her alone with Hijikata.
The man was sitting at Kondou's usual spot at the head of the room. Few candles, which were placed here and there in the room, provided little to no light, hiding Hijikata's face in the shadows. Seeing his dark frame, Shizuka paused unsurely.
"What are you doing there? Get over here and sit down," he said, pointing at the spot in front of him. Shizuka let out a small exhale, bracing herself for whatever was to come, and made her way towards the vice commander.
Once she sat down, the man stared at her for a longer while, as if trying to read the answers to his questions straight out of her mind. The girl wasn't sure for how long was he intending to prolong the dreadful silence, and didn't want to find out either. As much as normally she would've enjoyed a staring contest (or whatever he was currently doing) with him, tonight she was simply too exhausted to play along.
"Why did you want to see me?" she asked, and Hijikata narrowed his eyes, irked by the obvious disinterest in her voice.
"I told you that you're not out of trouble just yet," he said, and began chastising her for today's incident again.
Shizuka was barely listening; she was trying to focus, but fatigue was slowly overwhelming her, making it really hard to pay attention; she was only nodding along to make the vice commander think she did. Her tired brain registered only small parts of Hijikata's redundant tirade.
"It was a perfect show of the complete lack of discipline on your part…"
"...not only stupid, but also utterly irresponsible…"
"I told you to listen to all commands, and you said that you will. And then what did you do? What did you do?" He paused briefly, and she looked up at him. She had no idea what he had said, and what kind of response he expected.
"I…"
"Exactly. You didn't listen to any commands. Disregarded them all and…" he answered his own question, and the monologue continued.
But when a small yawn escaped her mouth, Hijikata realised that he's being ignored and his cheeks reddened in anger.
"Am I boring you, Yukimura?" he asked calmly, but his eyes were staring holes in her.
"Do you want me to be honest?" she said with a smirk. He breathed in sharply, offended.
"N-never mind!" He mumbled something under his breath in annoyance, and then cleared his throat. "Just know that if you pull shit like this again, the consequences will be severe and far-reaching. Do I make myself clear?" Having said this, he leaned in, hovering over her menacingly, forcing her to look him in the eyes. "Severe. Far-reaching."
"Yes, yes. Crystal clear," she said obediently.
"I'm serious. Don't test me, Yukimura."
Shizuka has figured Hijikata out a long time ago. He was very strict with his soldiers - hence the nickname Demon Vice Commander - and merciless for the enemies of the Shinsengumi. But underneath the gruff and serious exterior was hidden a caring and passionate, albeit slightly awkward man. His devotion to the Shinsengumi and their cause was as strong as Kondou's, and so were the feelings of camaraderie towards the captains, even if he lacked the skills to show it. Once Shizuka's seen past the stern person Hijikata was making himself out to be, she found out that it's very easy to placate him. It just required the right tactics, ones which she's come to learn quite quickly.
"I would never," she assured. One glance at her, and he sighed in defeat, his hand rubbing the forehead in a slow, weary manner.
Another thing about Hijikata was that he made a perfect target for teasing. At the beginning of her acquaintance with the Shinsengumi, she was inclined to think that Saito would be the one most susceptible to such play, but as she got to know them all better, she understood why Okita loved to poke fun exclusively at Hijikata. He always had the perfect reactions, always letting silly pranks get to him, always getting angry. And that was all a perpetrator wanted.
"I'm not joking around, Hijikata-san," Shizuka said. The man stared at her with the most doubtful look in his eyes, and she almost broke out laughing. "I swear!"
"Yeah, right."
"I'm just really out of it now, that's all." His gaze instantly focused on her again, and he must've noticed how tired she looked, because he released yet another sigh. His features softened ever so slightly.
But what she liked the most about Hijikata was how amazing of a vice commander he was. He'd put his men first no matter what, and bend over backwards to ensure that they are treated with respect. Shizuka couldn't help but admire him for that. She might've liked teasing him a tad too much, but the occasional tomfoolery wasn't changing the fact that she held him in the highest regard.
"Fine. Just a few more questions and then you can go to sleep." She nodded and straightened her back, trying to give Hijikata what was left of her attention. "About those fu… those men back at the Nijo Castle. Do you know them?" So that's what he really wanted to talk about. What should I tell him? 'I don't really know them, but funny thing about them, they're not human. Oh, and I'm not a human either. Forgot to mention that when we first met, sorry!'
"I don't. Besides the one from Ikedaya, today was the first time I've seen them."
"Right, you saw that Kazama guy in Ikedaya…" Hijikata murmured pensively. "And you never met them besides that?"
"No."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." The vice commander fell silent for a moment, considering her answers. Then he looked up at her, and she tensed seeing his serious expression.
"Do you know why they wanted to take you away?" he asked, and she felt a pang of guilt again, but this time it was a lot more painful than previously. She managed to keep a straight face, though it took an utmost effort to do so.
"I have no idea," she said finally. He nodded, and she could tell that even though he was still suspicious, he decided to take her word for it.
"Okay. Go get some sleep now, kiddo." She offered him a little bow, and left the common room quickly.
Shizuka was aware that she couldn't have told the truth. She was aware that her true nature must be kept secret, and intended to keep it that way for as long as she could. She knew all of that, but it didn't stop her from feeling like she was betraying the captains' trust. The lump in her throat grew bigger and bigger, and she bit on her lip hard to prevent it from trembling.
Some days after the greeting Shizuka decided to clean her room since she didn't have anything major on her schedule. Moreover, by busying herself with mundane tasks she hoped to drown out all the intrusive thoughts that were refusing to leave her head ever since the night of the encounter with the onis.
She opened the windows to let in some nice, refreshing breeze. Then she started wiping, rubbing and mopping, getting rid of all the dust and dirt until the room became spotless. Once her quarters were off the list, Shizuka took her sheets and a lavender hakama (which she'd bought a month or so ago in order to have something else to wear besides her worn out blue clothing) out into the backyard to do some laundry.
The weather was perfect - despite the fact that cleaning the room took her longer than expected, and currently it was well in the afternoon, the sun was giving heaps of warmth, and the gentle wind provided a much needed breeze, so the laundry was sure to dry long before nightfall. She dragged a tub onto the grass, filled it with water and threw the bedding inside. The girl tamed her disobedient hair into a messy bun, tied up her sleeves with a tasuki and started scrubbing white masses of sheets with soap, the lavender material waiting on the side.
The smell of freshly washed laundry brought back a wave of memories. There was always a lot to do at her old house, and though she was bad at it, she always enjoyed helping out with household chores (except cooking). Shizuka's face fell slightly, and she stopped, the sheet in her hands, which was halfway on the washing line, completely forgotten. Her eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to get rid of the images that flooded her head. It was harder than usual, since lately Father has been on her mind a lot more. Thinking about him was also making her remember the ominous encounter with the onis, and the overwhelming amount of secrets Harunosuke seemed to have kept from her.
"It's going to fall," a voice said, but she didn't react, too occupied with battling against her own thoughts. Unconsciously, she loosened her hold, and white material started slipping through her benumbed fingers.
Before the sheet fell to the dusty ground, a hand caught it, and gave it back to Shizuka.
"Are you alright, Yukimura?" She flinched, roused finally from her daze, and turned around, meeting Saito's dark blue eyes. He took a step back, giving her some space, and glanced at her, his usual stoic features altered slightly by concern.
"Ah, I'm sorry. I must've spaced out for a moment," Shizuka said with a weak chuckle.
"It seemed like… something made you upset," the man stated in a calm voice, careful not to come off as intrusive. "Are you sure you are alright?" She looked at him and nodded, but the unease in her eyes was belying her claims. Her hands tightened on the white sheet.
"I may not be the perfect partner for conversation, but the least I can do is hear you out." Shizuka stared at him, surprised by Saito's sudden eagerness. "If you are willing to share, of course," he added quickly, having misinterpreted her expression as a sign of reluctance. She considered his words for a moment, a little sigh escaping her mouth.
"It's just…" she began, visibly struggling. She knew that she could confide in Saito, but once she got to that point, it was really hard to actually open up. She was unsure whether she wanted to discuss her current emotional state. "You'll probably think me foolish…" she trailed off in embarrassment. He didn't say anything, so she glanced up at him. He looked right back at her, quite unlike himself, and the gentleness in his gaze eased her aggravated mind.
"I can assure you I will not," he said, and offered her a little encouraging smile. She smiled back coyly, playing with the sheet in her hand.
"Well it's… The smell of laundry. It made me feel… nostalgic for some reason," she finally managed to stutter out. Once she's said it, she realised how ridiculous it sounded, and instantly regretted sharing.
They stayed silent for a moment, and Shizuka was sure that Saito must think that she's crazy. She stole a glance at him, convinced that she's going to see the confirmation of her fears, but the man didn't seem off-put or dismayed in the slightest. Instead, he was deep in thought.
"I see," he said finally, glancing at her. "The smell of laundry made you think about the past," he reiterated her previous statement, and she hummed awkwardly in response. Saito then looked away, his eyes focusing on a nearby tree. She peeked at it too, curiously, but it was nothing special. Whatever it was, its blooming period ended, leaving it plain and mostly bare.
"I must confess that I also tend to feel nostalgic… at times," the man spoke up after a longer while, and she glanced up at him. His own gaze travelled slowly over the surrounding garden to finally meet hers. He pointed at the tree and she looked at it again.
"Ever since we changed the headquarters, I find myself thinking about my hometown more often than ever before. It is because of this magnolia tree." Shizuka stared at the plant, and eventually did remember it blooming some weeks ago. She's never paid much attention to it, but judging from Saito's expression, the sight of the tree was evoking quite different emotions in him.
"You lived in Edo, right?" she spoke up, and he nodded absentmindedly.
"There used to be a magnolia tree far bigger than this one, right outside my household. It was said to be planted by my great grandfather. My siblings and I would often play underneath it."
"You have siblings?" Shizuka expressed her surprise.
"I do. An older brother and sister." It was hard to imagine stoic Saito running around and frolicking with other kids, but once planted in her head, the thought brought a delighted smile to her face. And he's the youngest too.
"I wish I had siblings too," she murmured, and the man glanced at her briefly. Shizuka offered him a sweet smile. She felt very appreciative of what he did, especially considering how reserved he usually was, and how difficult it must've been for him to open up. "Thank you for sharing this story with me, Saito-san." He turned to her with a tiny smile of his own.
"Now you understand that I cannot think you are foolish. If I did, then it would mean that I am the same," he spoke up. "And I consider myself to be quite a sensible man." She stared at him for a moment, shocked. Did he just… Crack a joke? No way. She chuckled at his words.
"There is no doubt about that," the girl said, playing along. "We are both very sensible people. Not the least bit foolish."
"I could not agree more. Now, let me help you with that, Yukimura." Saito reached for the other end of the sheet, which was still in her hands. She nodded, and they flung it over the line together. They were conversing casually while taking care of the rest of the laundry, smiles on both of their faces.
A sudden gust of wind left Shizuka's hair undone, and she was momentarily rendered blind by the black veil of hair. She brushed it away from her face with a damp hand.
"Careful so the laundry doesn't get blown away," she heard Okita's voice out of nowhere, and her bright grin died down in an instant. The girl looked over her shoulder, unnerved and caught off guard, their eyes meeting briefly before she turned away. Shizuka quickly began to gather the laundry equipment. She glanced at Saito, trying to conceal how shaken she was.
"Thank you for your help, Saito. I have to go now, to ah… Sweep the dust off the stairs." She offered him a little bow, and left in haste, not sparing another glance in the first division captain's direction.
He was watching her leave, and a heavy sigh left his mouth. Saito, who was observing the incident, smoothed out one of the sheets, and looked over at Souji with narrowed eyes.
"What did you do this time?" he asked, and Okita stared at him for a second or two.
"Me? Nothing."
"Souji…" Hajime said, exasperated.
"Well I… I might've been a little bit too harsh with her… before." Saito took notice of the way he'd said the last word, his eyebrow raising slightly.
"Before?" Souji crossed his arms on the chest, looking everywhere but at his friend.
"Ah… Back when… when Sannan-san drank the medicine," he said finally, and Hajime offered him a look of disbelief.
"You do realise that it has been almost four months since then," he deadpanned, and Okita chuckled awkwardly.
"Yeah?"
"So?" Saito prodded.
"So what?"
"Yukimura cannot even look you in the eye. You do not find this situation concerning in the slightest?" Okita shrugged, trying to feign indifference, but his expression was clouded. "What did you even tell her?" Souji looked at the man for a second, and let out another sigh. He sat down on a nearby bench and the third division captain followed suit.
"I was being a prick, I guess."
"Not an unusual occurrence when it comes to you," Saito pointed out matter-of-factly.
"That's mean, Hajime."
"Have I told a lie though?" Okita smirked, accepting the perfectly accurate insult.
"Have you tried talking to her?" Hajime then smiled briefly. "Yukimura is a reasonable person, I am sure she would listen to you, had you tried to explain yourself."
"Haven't you seen? She runs off the moment she sees me. How am I supposed to talk to her?" Saito closed his eyes momentarily, a long, tired exhale escaping his mouth.
"But have you tried?" Souji stared at him with a blank expression.
"You got me there, haha."
"Souji…" Hajime sighed. "I do not know what you have said to her, but if she is avoiding you to this degree it must have been quite impactful."
"Probably. But you know that I tend to talk nonsense sometimes." He paused briefly, gathering his thoughts. "I figured she'd get over this as usual."
"And you would return to your usual dynamic?" Okita hummed. "It is not that easy, Souji. Especially if you said something hurtful to her. Keep in mind that Yukimura has been thrown into a completely new environment, and she probably still feels somewhat out of place." Okita's face fell even more at Saito's words.
"I know, I know. But I've never had to… you know… make an effort. I've never had much to do with girls, except for Mitsu. And she'd kick my ass for something like this." Okita's lips stretched into a smile at the memory of his hot headed sister. "Guess Shizuka-chan was spot on when she called me an asshole."
"Yukimura has called you that?" The first division captain nodded, and Saito chuckled quietly, surprising his friend. "Then not only is she a reasonable lady, but also a great judge of character."
"Hajime," Okita whined in faux upset. Then they looked at each other with amusement, before focusing on the flapping white sheets, a comfortable silence falling between them.
After a moment Okita stood up, a determined glint sparkling in his eyes.
"Do your best," Saito said, and Souji looked over his shoulder, the usual grin plastered on his face. "I hope Yukimura will be gentler in her response than your sister."
"Me too," Okita said, and with that he went towards Shizuka's room.
"Ugh, why am I so stupid?!" Shizuka has been pacing around her room for the last hour or so, chastising herself and feeling positively mortified. She was not expecting Souji to appear so suddenly, and reacted to the situation instinctively - she panicked.
"They must think I'm out of my mind… And they'd be goddamn right!" The girl cradled her head in both hands, shaking it half-consciously in despair.
After a few more minutes of suffering from internal cringe, she exhaled heavily and decided to get some fresh air, since her panic attack left her all hot and bothered.
"I have to go get the laundry too," Shizuka murmured, seeing that the sun was slowly ending its daily route. She exited the room, and lifelessly made her way towards the place she'd ran away from moments ago.
After a quick scan of the surroundings, she approached the sheets and hurriedly began gathering them. Once the big pile of laundry was more or less safely in her hands, the girl looked around again, and seeing that the coast was clear, she set off back to her quarters.
Just as she entered the corridor which led to her room, she walked straight into somebody. The impact of the unexpected collision pushed her back a few steps, and some of the freshly washed sheets escaped from her grasp. She managed to catch them, but while doing so she lost her own balance. Shizuka stumbled backwards, but strong hands landed on her shoulders and quickly steadied her, rescuing her from a nasty fall.
"Oh, thank you so…" she started saying, but as she looked up and saw the face of her saviour, the words died at her throat. She froze momentarily, her mind in the state of pure panic, her eyes widened and staring straight into his.
After a second or two, Shizuka recovered enough to offer Okita a little bow of gratitude, her gaze now glued to the floor. After that she immediately made an attempt to pass the man, but his hands, which were still on her arms, held her in place, gently, yet with a hint of firmness.
"Please wait, Shizuka-chan. Don't run away. "
"What?" she gaped at him, completely bewildered.
"That thing you've been doing for the last few months the moment you see me? Don't do it, at least for a minute," he said, making Shizuka even more flustered. "I-I don't know what you're talking about!" she exclaimed defensively, but one look from him was enough to make her falter.
"Oh really?" Okita's eyebrow shot up doubtfully, and her cheeks reddened in embarrassment. She breathed in to calm her frayed nerves.
"I want to talk to you," Okita said.
"What do you want to talk about?" she answered, her voice cold.
The shame Shizuka felt just a second ago has started to subside, making place for the pent up anger to take over; she decided to not make it any easier for the man. She looked at him with narrowed eyes, then glanced pointedly towards her shoulders, where his hands were still placed. He caught on quickly and removed them, though there was a slight reluctance to the movement, as if he suspected she'd try to run away again.
Okita's gaze then fell to the big pile of laundry.
"Let me help you with that first," he proposed, and before she could resist (which she was about to do), he snatched the bigger half of the sheets, significantly lessening her burden. Souji offered her an unsure rendition of his trademark crooked smile, but the girl just scoffed and left him, going towards her quarters. He followed closely behind, the short walk stretching into a little eternity as they were both remaining quiet.
Once they've reached the room, Shizuka took the laundry back from him and disappeared in her room to put it away. She briefly considered just shutting the door on him, but deep down she knew that it wouldn't work. He was way too stubborn.
Whatever, let's just get this over with. The girl went back out and led him to the bench outside her quarters.
They haven't talked to each other for a long time now, and even before that their conversations were full of teasing and exasperation, so Shizuka had no idea what it was that he wanted to discuss with her. Don't tell me he wants to… No way.
They spent yet another moment in excruciating silence, but Shizuka, being an individual just as stubborn as Okita, was dead set on not speaking up first. The man seemed to be unable to find the words to express himself, because he opened his mouth a few times only to close it after a second or two. She was just staring at him, his struggle giving her a vague feeling, something between enjoyment and pity.
Finally, having come to some kind of conclusion, Okita exhaled and turned towards the girl.
'I was trying to come up with an ice breaker or something, but I guess beating around the bush is pointless in this situation."
What is he even on about? she thought in confusion, but has not commented this introduction out loud. He looked over at her, and seeing her uninviting grimace he let out a small chuckle.
"I really might just get beat up."
Shizuka sat down, childishly looking away and gluing her eyes to the bushes in front of her. Her ears caught a rustling sound, and she felt warmth radiating from Okita's body as he sat down next to her.
'Look, Shizuka-chan. What I'm trying to say is… I'm sorry." She didn't know what to expect, so the apology came as quite a surprise. Her widened eyes unconsciously travelled to meet his.
"No need to be so shocked. It was long overdue. Way too long." Okita leaned on his arms, a little sigh escaping his mouth.
"By now you've probably realised that at times I tend to talk…"
"Like an asshole?" she offered with a deadpan on her face, and he nodded, snorting.
"That too. But what I wanted to say is that I talk without thinking. Of course that's no excuse. I said some really messed up stuff, and for that I apologise. Do you think you can forgive me?" Okita then turned to her with an expression so earnest that she had a hard time keeping up the facade. She propped her elbows on her knees, and fell silent for a moment.
Shizuka didn't have a reason to reject his apology, but just as she was about to speak up, the memory of his words entered her mind, planting yet another seed of doubt in her heart. Her face fell slightly, but she knew that this must be addressed.
"Did you… Did you mean what you said back then?" she asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Okita stared at her, taken aback by how uncharacteristically timid she sounded, and her dejected frown made him feel awful.
"Ah, I would've never suspected that Shizuka-chan holds my words in such a high regard. Gotta say I'm flattered." He turned to her with a smile. "But as I said before, I often speak thoughtlessly. Besides, I was a little out of it back then, and I took it out on you. I shouldn't have done that."
"So… you don't think that? That I shouldn't- that I'm an outsider?" the girl said.
"I think that you're way past the point of being an outsider. You… you're pretty much one of us."
A quiet gasp fell from Shizuka's mouth. Then, just as she felt a smile creeping up on her lips, and tears stinging her eyes she froze, afraid of the intensity of her reaction. She pressed her lips together into a thin line, and squeezed the edge of the bench, trying to compose herself as fast as possible.
"Oh, is that so," she responded dryly, scared to say anything more.
"Yeah."
Okita then faced her, straightening himself.
"So… are we good now?" Shizuka more or less got her feelings under control, so she decided to cover up for her initial reaction.
"Since you're being so earnest and serious about it how can I say no?" she teased, provoking a familiar smirk.
"Great. Now you don't have to run away from me anymore. Must've been quite an annoyance to do it each and every time you see me," he jabbed back, and she gave him a nasty side-eye.
"And now fortunately I don't have to do it anymore. After all, I'd be foolish to stay mad after such an honest, heartfelt apology," Shizuka continued, overly emphasising the "honest and heartfelt" part. Seeing how heated she got over their little bickering battle, he grinned in amusement.
"What can I say? I'm a sensitive guy," Okita concluded with a shrug, not budging even a step despite finding Shizuka's current behaviour absolutely adorable.
Then his face darkened, and he leaned in, startling her as his face inched towards hers.
"One more thing, Shizuka-chan. If you get mad at me like this again… I may have to kill you." His expression was grim, but she spotted a spark of mischief in his eyes, which told her that he wasn't being serious at all. Then he moved away, and spread his arms in a dramatic gesture. "I just can't bear this awkwardness for the second time!" She pushed him away with an exasperated snort.
"What kind of joke is that, Okita-san? And you're telling me that I am weird…" she murmured. He stood up, and looked at her from above.
"Who says it's a joke?" he pointed out, adding a wink which did not match at all with what he had said. She snorted at his antics. He then turned to leave, but paused after a few steps, and turned towards Shizuka again. "Oh, and Shizuka-chan?"
"What? You decided to kill me after all?" the girl said unimpressed.
"No, not yet," he answered without missing a beat. "I just wanted to ask you to call me by my name."
"Ah… Sure?" she said warily, not sure what was he up to.
"Great. After all, you are one of us, right?" he said and left. She quickly understood the meaning of his smirk and the weird delivery of that phrase.
Was he… teasing me about this? After we've just patched things up? She shook her head in disbelief. What the actual hell is wrong with him? Shizuka was staring at his retreating frame in awe mixed with distaste. Up until now she was unable to figure him out, and slowly began to believe that she never will.
A week or so later, Kondou decided to hold physical examinations for the soldiers. He was prompted to do so after meeting a doctor during the shogun's visit. The doctor's stories of various illnesses and ailments had such a strong effect on Kondou that he invited the man to the Nishi Honganji that very day. Now the headquarters were livelier than ever, since all the soldiers were gathered outside and lined up to get examined.
Shizuka was told to stay away from the common room, because she obviously could not receive an examination alongside other soldiers. However, Hijikata's warnings had almost no effect on her, and as curiosity (and the desire to mess with the vice commander) got the better of her, Shizuka found herself wandering closer and closer towards the commotion.
At once, she spotted someone practically jumping out of the room, and arguing with others inside. Her eyebrows furrowed momentarily as she recognized Itou's face, but his expression caught her attention. He was glaring towards the common room with a disgusted grimace, and before Shizuka got any closer he turned to leave. She quickened her pace slightly, puzzled. Just as she noticed a head or two peeking out of the room, Itou's eyes fell on her. She offered him a little bow, but didn't go any further than that.
Shizuka, as most captains, tried her best to avoid interacting with Itou, since the only result of doing so was a raised blood pressure, and save for a few annoying remarks thrown here and there Itou was doing the same.
But this time it seemed that he felt a need to vent about whatever that had happened inside, because he paused in front of the girl. Her eyes travelled to his dishevelled clothes, and seeing her stare, he roughly smoothed them out.
"Those.. those brutes! They almost ripped my hakama!" he started complaining with cheeks reddened from vexation. "So uncivilized… Is tha- that quack really expecting somebody of my standing to undress in front of lowly soldiers and captains? This is preposterous!" Shizuka was glancing sideways, uninterested, but his last remark made her stare right up at him, anger immediately boiling inside of her. She managed to keep a straight face though, and leaned in with faux concern.
"It must have been awful, Itou-san," she said, and he nodded, clearly still recalling his hardship. "To get undressed in front of all those tall, muscular men…" Shizuka trailed off, eyeing him from head to toes suggestively, and his surprised gaze focused on her.
"However, there is no need to feel inferior, even if Itou-san's physique is no match for that of lowly soldiers and captains," she said in a tone of oblivious encouragement. "It is your intelligence that is of great value to the Shinsengumi after all." He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, too shocked to form any kind of response. Then his eyes narrowed viciously and he stepped towards her. She straightened herself, ready for whatever he was about to say or do, but in that moment they both heard noises, more specifically barely contained laughter, coming from the direction of the common room. Itou froze at once, and the girl used this opportunity to slip away.
"Good day, Itou-san. And cheer up!" she said with a brilliant smile and moved past him towards the sound of chuckling. She knew that his pride took too big of a hit, and he was unable to retaliate at the moment. Itou walked away, and quickly disappeared around the corner, confirming Shizuka's predictions. He will definitely not forget this though, she thought as she approached the door to the common room. She peered inside, and saw the captains, all of them exceptionally cheerful. Shinpachi, who was standing the closest to the entrance made his way towards the girl with a hearty laughter.
"Shizuka, that was… that was just perfect! I wish I could've seen his face!" he exclaimed. He reached out his arm to wrap it around her shoulders, but before he could do that Hijikata stepped in, blocking the man.
"Get back in line or we'll never be done with those damn examinations." Nagakura obeyed sulkingly, and the vice commander turned to her, his stare slightly less disapproving than usual.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, his tone just a little bit less suspicious than normally. Shizuka suppressed a satisfied grin.
"I was bored, and it seemed like you're having fun here," she answered with a shrug.
"I wouldn't call this 'fun'," he replied, motioning with his head towards the captains. She looked over to see Shinpachi taking off his top dramatically, as it was his turn to get examined, and flexing his muscles to everybody around him.
"Just look at them. Aren't they amazing? Shizuka, check out these bad boys!" Nagakura yelled at her, and she offered him a polite smile, trying to mimic his enthusiasm. She glanced back at Hijikata, and seeing his annoyed expression, which spoke louder than any words, she chuckled in amusement.
"Doctor, check his head. There might be something wrong with it," Harada, who was behind Shinpachi, spoke with distaste.
"There is definitely something wrong with it!" Heisuke chimed in with a snort, and Shinpachi looked over his shoulder menacingly.
"You're both just jealous, since-" he flexed his impressive bicep again "you can only dream about muscles like these!"
"Oh, cut it out, will you?" the doctor who was examining (or at least trying to examine) Nagakura finally spoke up, clearly at his limit. "You're very healthy, almost too healthy."
"Yeah, so move already. The others are waiting," Harada said, pushing the man.
"This is a serious matter, Shinpachi. Holding the line is quite inconsiderate of you," Saito added, and the girl noted a trace of exasperation in his usually calm voice. It was barely audible, but there was no doubt about it. Shinpachi must've heard it as well, because he moved with an unsatisfied frown.
Harada was next, and after he took his top off Shizuka caught herself staring for a bit too long, and it wasn't because of his well-toned upper body. Of course, his muscles were just as defined as Shinpachi's, however what drew her attention was not that. It was a big scar, which ran almost through the entire width of his stomach. Judging from the colour it had healed a long time ago, but her body tensed slightly nonetheless. The man noticed her intense stare and glanced at her, cocking his head with a teasing smile.
"Stop ogling me like that, you're gonna make me blush," he said and she stared at him, before looking away with reddish cheeks of her own.
"I wasn't really…" she murmured with a frown, and Harada's grin only got wider. "W-what's that scar about, anyway?" The man gazed at it briefly, then back at Shizuka.
"I'll tell you one day," he said cryptically, and she raised her eyebrows at the reply.
After day one of the examinations was over, Shizuka started making her way towards the kitchen, since it was her turn to prepare dinner, this time along with Innoue. As she entered the courtyard, she spotted two figures nearby, and recognized them as Kondou and the doctor who had conducted today's examinations. The commander noticed her too, and said something to the doctor, while glancing at her. The man then turned towards her sharply, clearly shocked, and seeing his strange reaction Shizuka slowed down. The doctor said a few words, offered Kondou a hasty bow, and made his way towards her. She paused, half curious, half confused. Once he stopped in front of her, his face lit up in a kind smile.
"I didn't recognize you at all, Shizuka," he said and she stared at him in surprise.
"You know… me?" she stuttered unsurely.
"Of course I do. But you might not remember me. We haven't seen each other in a long time. My name is Matsumoto Ryoujun. I've been… I'm Harunosuke's friend." Father's… friend? How come I've never heard about him? "I've been looking for you for the last year, since…" he trailed off with a sigh. "Who would've thought we'd meet like this? Fate really does work in mysterious ways." Shizuka had no idea what to think about the entire situation, but her gut was telling her that he was speaking the truth. The way he said Father's name, the way he was looking at her… He couldn't have been lying.
"How did you know Father?" She wanted to ask thousands of questions, but from the corner of her eye she saw Kondou. Matsumoto must've asked him for a moment of privacy, and while she knew that Kondou would never be the one to impose on anybody, she wasn't sure how much time they had. I have to make the most of it.
"I knew him for a long time, ever since we were young. My family was connected to the Yukimura clan," he paused and stepped closer, lowering his voice. "We were their connection to the human world. The Matsumoto family has been aiding the Yukimuras for many generations." Wait… He said… human world?
"You know about…" she gasped, dumbfounded. He nodded with a calming smile, but Shizuka was nowhere near calm. The amount of things she had no idea about - things Father has never told her - kept growing and growing, making her increasingly more overwhelmed. She tried to collect her thoughts, at least for the time being, and looked up at the man.
"Do you perhaps know anything about pure… purebloods?" she managed to utter, and Matsumoto stared at her for a charged moment.
"He hasn't told you anything, has he?" he said finally, and she confirmed with a nod. The man shook his head with a defeated sigh. "I kept telling him to do it, but he'd always find an excuse. Guess he didn't want to burden you with it." The doctor exhaled with an unamused chuckle. "Who could've expected that everything would happen that fast…" he murmured, more to himself than to her. She leaned in, unsure if she heard correctly, and in that moment he glanced up at her again, roused from the brief reverie.
"We don't have much time, so let me tell you this for now. The Kurai household… It wasn't a coincidence, or an accident. It was planned." She had figured as much from Father's last words, but hearing a confirmation sent a shiver through her spine nonetheless. She swallowed hard, trying to control her emotions, and met Matsumoto's eyes confidently.
"It was… Sawamura, wasn't it?" she said dryly, and he looked at her in surprise.
"You know? How?"
"Father told me before he…" Shizuka paused, hearing a tremble in her voice. "I've been trying to locate the man ever since."
"You must not!" he exclaimed suddenly, startling her. He looked over his shoulder at Kondou, who was gazing at them curiously, and moved closer towards her. "This is a lot bigger than you think, Shizuka. You can't get involved without a plan, do you understand?"
She refused to look at him, and remained silent.
"I'll explain everything to you, so please, child, promise me that you will not do anything reckless. Promise me." Matsumoto's voice was full of earnestness and worry. She looked at the man unsurely. He seemed to be really concerned about her, and she couldn't help but feel appreciative, despite the fact that she's just met him. On the other hand though, she just got another confirmation of the Sawamura's involvement in the massacre that had happened in her household. She couldn't just ignore it.
"I promise," she said finally, glancing up at him. The man breathed out, clearly relieved, and offered her a grateful smile. She returned the gesture, but her thoughts were nothing like her compliant behaviour. She knew what had to be done and did not intend to change her plans, no matter how difficult or dangerous it could get. But he doesn't need to know that.
"One more thing, Shizuka," Matsumoto spoke up after a moment. "I need to warn you about one more person." Somebody else besides Sawamura is in on this? Great, she thought.
"His name is Kodou… Yukimura Kodou." Her head shot up immediately, blue eyes widened in absolute shock.
"What? Yuki… Yukimura?" The doctor only nodded, distress distorting his features.
"Yes. He once was part of the clan, but one way or another he strayed away from it, I'm not sure what exactly happened."
"But why should I be wary of another Yukimura clan member?"
"You know about… ochimizu, right?"
"Yes."
"Well, ochimizu is Kodou's doing. He joined hands with the shogunate and developed this… cursed thing." Matsumoto snarled scornfully. "This 'medicine', as he calls it, is not only an abomination against nature, but also a complete failure. Of course he'd never admit it. He thinks that he can improve ochimizu and create a perfect oni, but this is just insane talk. Your kind cannot be imitated. But Kodou's convinced it will work; he's become obsessed with it."
When I first saw those creatures, I did think briefly that they are onis.
"But they are nothing like us," she murmured and the man looked at her, a grim glint in his eye.
"You've seen what ochimizu does to the ones who take it, haven't you?" he stated.
"Yes… Yes I have."
"Then you surely agree with me. The experiment is a failure." Before Shizuka could answer, she noticed a movement in the corner of her eye, and turned to see Kondou's approaching figure. Did he hear anything? she wondered alarmed.
"Matsumoto, you are very harsh with your words," the commander said with a strained smile.
"I am merely stating the facts, Kondou. This whole ordeal has come too far, and you know it." The man didn't answer, but his defeated expression spoke volumes. Losing so many good soldiers, the change that happened in Sannan, and never ending issues concerning the ochimizu have taken quite a toll on the commander. He also was aware that the medicine was more trouble than worth. But after a moment of silence, he straightened his back and looked at the doctor with regained confidence.
"No matter what may happen in the future, I intend to follow the shogunate's orders till the end. Even if it is a failure," he said pointedly, and Shizuka's heart swelled in admiration for the commander and the strength of his conviction.
"It is not a failure," another voice appeared and the three of them turned towards it. Sannan, his face as white as a sheet, walked up to them. "I am sure that it can be perfected. It might take some time, but there is no doubt." Mastumoto was eyeing Sannan in disbelief, and scoffed at the man's words.
"Some time… and some more test subjects, correct?"
The man looked up at the doctor dispassionately, and adjusted his glasses.
"Sometimes in order to achieve greatness sacrifices need to be made, Matsumoto-san."
"Just how many more exactly?" the man spat out, growing aggravated.
"As many as it takes," Sannan said, and Matsumoto stepped back in shock, his eyes widened. Lieutenant's words seemed to have made a tremendous impact on the doctor, but Shizuka wasn't sure why.
"I've heard those words before, Sannan-san. Know that nothing good came out of that." Matsumoto glanced at her briefly, and it suddenly hit her. He must be talking about Yukimura Kodou. He must be just as bad as Sannan-san, maybe even worse.
She had hundreds of questions she wanted to ask, but before she could even try to get some time alone with Matsumoto, he murmured some parting words, and turned on his heel, soon disappearing in the distance. Stuck between anxious Kondou and cold Sannan, Shizuka also decided to leave the conversation, and headed towards the kitchen. Unfortunately cooking was the last thing that was on her mind. She was distracted with today's revelations until the very end of the day, to the moment when she drifted into a restless sleep.
"Kondou-san, this is unacceptable," Matsumoto told the commander on the fourth, last day of the examinations. "A third of your men are ill or injured, or both. Not to mention most of them have multiple untreated cuts and bruises." Then he waved his hand, gesturing at the rooms and corridors. "I'm not surprised that the soldiers are sick, given that they live in such appalling conditions. And there's no infirmary! This is absurd!" Kondou was listening to the scolding with humility, and then promised the doctor to make proper arrangements as soon as possible.
Since Matsumoto warned that he'd return in two days, the soldiers spent the entire day before then cleaning the headquarters, until there was no speck of dust to be found. Of course it did not happen without loud complaints addressed at no one in particular (given that it was Hijikata that was overlooking the process). Shizuka was not cleaning, but she did help with setting up the infirmary per Kondou's request. The girl, along with Saito, Innoue, and few other soldiers managed to arrange a fairly decent space, and even Sannan, who has been quietly watching them the entire time, seemed to be satisfied with their work.
The following day Matsumoto returned to see the results.
"Now this is how proper headquarters should look! Good job, you all," he praised while inspecting the rooms. He also approved of the newly created infirmary.
"More like a great job, doc. We busted our asses off!" Shinpachi exclaimed, and the doctor turned to look at him unimpressed.
"Oh, is that so?"
"Yeah!" Heisuke joined in. "We cleaned until well into the night. Though some people were slacking off…" he added, eyeing Okita not-so-subtly. The man shrugged in indifference.
"It's not my fault. It's Hijikata-san who is acting like a mother hen."
"Shut it. Until you start taking care of that cough of yours, you have no word in the matter," he responded and Souji just grinned brightly, angering the vice commander.
"I must admit that I enjoy the current state of the headquarters," Saito spoke up, and Hijikata turned away from Okita, and looked at Shinpachi and Heisuke, who cowered under his stare.
"So do I. Maybe I'll make you clean every day," he said in an eerily calm voice, and Harada snorted, seeing his friends' expressions.
"Oh, that would be just perfect, wouldn't it?" he chirped, throwing his arms over Nagakura's and Heisuke's shoulders.
"Then go ahead, and do it," the former said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Alone," both then added in unison and shook off Harada's hands.
For a while Shizuka was observing the unfolding argument in amusement. But just as Hijikata stepped towards the bickering men with daggers shooting out of his eyes, she noticed two people whose expressions did match the current silly situation in the slightest. Matsumoto was gazing at Okita with ominous seriousness, and seeing this, the first division captain's smile had become strained. They were looking at each other for a charged moment, and then left the headquarters unnoticed amidst the commotion. The feeling of uneasiness spread throughout Shizuka's body, and once she made sure the other men were too busy to notice, she slipped away to follow Okita and Matsumoto.
Despite the fact that she left almost immediately after them, they have already disappeared somewhere, and she stopped momentarily, lost. Then she spotted somebody nearby, and quickly approached the man.
"Shimada-san," she said, offering the man a little bow. He returned the gesture, and looked at her with a kind smile. "Have you perhaps seen doctor Matsumoto? I, ah… I need to discuss something with him," she said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. The man didn't appear alarmed by her behaviour, and nodded in answer to her inquiry.
"The doctor and Okita seemed to have something to discuss. They went toward the courtyard." She bowed again, offering her thanks, and made her way down the corridor in haste. "Be careful, Yukimura. The floors are freshly cleaned, so they may be slippery," he said with concern, and she looked over her shoulder with a half-hearted smile, her mind already somewhere else.
As she was arriving at the courtyard a faint noise reached her ears, so she slowed down and focused her powers. The sounds seemed to come from the front of one of the more secluded buildings in the courtyard. Shizuka cautiously stepped closer, and once she'd established that the voices belonged to the men she was looking for, she closed the distance and stopped by the adjacent wall, listening in to the conversation.
Shizuka wasn't really sure what she was doing, and why she was doing it. It was quite unlike her to go to such great lengths just to eavesdrop on somebody's private conversation, and it was even more weird considering that it was about Okita of all people. But seeing his silent exchange with the doctor, she was sure that something was not right, and felt that she needed to find out what it was all about. That's why went after the men without much thinking.
"So, doctor? What is it all about? Why are you being so secretive?" Souji broke the silence between the men. There was a short pause, and Shizuka heard a light chuckle.
"Come on, doc. I can't read minds, you kn-"
"You have tuberculosis, Souji," Matsumoto said, and she froze completely, unable to comprehend the meaning of the words she's just heard. Then she felt her legs giving out, and she leaned against the wall, her body trembling uncontrollably.
"Ah, I had a feeling something was up. So that's what it was… the famous disease," Okita said calmly.
"You knew about it?"
"I know my own body."
The men continued talking, but Shizuka could barely hear a word, the hammering of her heart echoing in her ears painfully. She couldn't believe what she just heard. There's no way. It can't be, her thoughts went on repeat as the brain was refusing to accept the reality. She shook her head, and tried to focus on the conversation again, desperate to hear that it wasn't true. But the more she listened to the exchange, the more her hope was fading.
"You need to leave the Shinsengumi and take care of yourself - move someplace with nice, clean air, eat well, rest and relax," Matsumoto enumerated, his voice commanding.
"I don't think so," Okita answered right away, and she could hear a sharp inhale.
"This is serious, Souji!"
"And I am serious. My one and only goal is to kill anyone who stands in Kondou-san's way," he said with conviction. "If I'm going to die anyway, that's all the more reason for me to stay, not leave. I'll make myself useful to the Shinsengumi, until my last breath." Shizuka's heart ached again at his words. They were so brave, so full of resolve, yet so overwhelmingly sorrowful at the same time. She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and this time she let them fall freely down her cheeks.
"I understand," Matsumoto said after a longer moment. "But considering how quickly your condition is deteriorating, you'll soon become a burden to them. Do you realise that?" There was no answer, and Matsumoto sighed in defeat. "If you're staying, you have to listen to me, no discussions. Or I'll tell Kondou," he threatened. "Next time I come over, I'll bring you some medicine, and you have to take it regularly. Are we clear?"
"Medicine? Yuck." After Souji's ill-timed jokes earned a short, but stern earful from Matsumoto, the captain promised to adhere to the doctor's instructions.
"I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about this, doc," he said, and though on the surface he sounded light and cheery, he failed to hide the undertones of hopelessness which were slowly but surely overtaking his voice. "I promise I'll be a good boy and eat my medicine."
"If that's what you want, then so be it," Matsumoto responded. Then she heard the sound of gravel crunching underfoot, as one of the men stood up. "You'll be seeing a lot more of me from now on."
"My excitement is immeasurable," Okita said, and a weak snort escaped Matsumoto's mouth. They said their goodbyes, and the doctor went away towards the entrance gate.
Even after the sound of Matsumoto's steps disappeared, Shizuka didn't move from her hiding spot, her mind in shambles.
"You can come out now," she heard suddenly, and she was so startled that she almost yelped out loud. She wanted to take a step, but her body refused to move. She tried to breathe in and out deeply a few times, hoping that it would calm her down, even if just a little, but it didn't seem to work. Her chest was still hurting, and she couldn't think straight. She was afraid to face him.
"You want me to go there and get you?" he spoke up once more, catching her off guard yet again. After a second or two Shizuka finally found it in herself to move, and she peeked cautiously from around the corner. Okita patted the spot next to his on the bench, just as if he knew that she was looking, even though he didn't turn around.
"Come and sit with me for a moment, Shizuka-chan," he invited. How did he know it was me? she wondered while making her way towards him. She sat down and looked at her hands, which were tightening on the folds of her hakama. The current situation reminded her of their recently settled feud, since this time too she couldn't bring herself to look up at him. But this time her reluctance to face him was caused by feelings of a completely different nature.
Shizuka remained silent, and for a longer while so did Okita. Then he stretched his arms in a leisure gesture.
"I hope you didn't take all that talk seriously," he started with a small chuckle. "As much as I hate to say it, Itou might've been right in calling Matsumoto a quack. I mean, just look at me. Do I seem sick to you?" She felt his eyes on her for a brief second, but failed to reciprocate the gaze, her anxiety increasing. "He was overreacting," Souji concluded. "You wouldn't tell anyone about some incorrect diagnosis, would you? If you did I'd have to kill you for spouting nonsense." She's heard those words so many times now, but today there was something different about them. They sounded… sad.
"You keep… saying that," she whispered, and he let out a hollow laugh.
"Yeah, I guess I do."
For a longer while they were both sitting quietly, each lost in their own thoughts. Then Okita stood up, and after a moment of hesitation, Shizuka did the same.
"Okita-san," she called out, and he turned on his heel, glancing at her with an unreadable expression. "I… You don't need to worry. I won't tell anybody." He was staring at her for a beat, and this time she held his gaze. Then his features relaxed into a gentle smile, and her eyes widened slightly in surprise.
"I believe I told you to call me by my name." She nodded, acknowledging that she did in fact forget to use his given name.
He moved again, ready to leave, but before he disappeared behind the corner he paused, and looked over his shoulder at her. Shizuka, who was about to go in an opposite direction also stopped, puzzled. Okita's eyes darted sideways briefly, before focusing on the girl once more.
"Thank you, Shizuka," he said finally, and there was genuine gratitude in his voice. She offered him a smile, and though she knew it must've looked incredibly lame, he returned the gesture.
She was listening to his retreating steps, and somehow it felt to her like the loneliest sound in the world. She crossed her arms on the chest and rushed to her room, biting her lip with way too much force. But the physical pain felt like nothing in comparison with the chaos that was happening in her heart.
Phew! That was one hell of a chapter, wasn't it? I hope you enjoyed (those of you who are still here, hehe ). I'm already working on the next release, so hopefully it will not take a year this time. See you soon!