Complete and Otter Truth
The truth can walk around naked; the lie has to be clothed. — Yiddish proverb
"Get out of my way, leech," Harry hissed. "I'm taking Hermione back home to her husband!"
Snape stood in the doorway, his shirt half-buttoned and his trousers very loosely hanging about his hips. "She is home with her husband, Potter."
"She is not!" Harry yelled. "That's why I'm here to take her back!"
"I don't know what cauldron residue you're sniffing, Potter," Snape said, "but if you take one step into this house, you will regret it.
"Get out of my way, Snape," Harry ordered, pulling his wand. "This is official Auror business!"
Harry blew past Severus and into the house.
A few seconds later, Potter was fleeing out the front door wearing nothing but bright rainbow skin and sparkling glitter as he was chased and pecked by magical angry woodpeckers.
Severus picked up the wet, soapy otter from the floor where she was furiously squeaking profanity out at Harry's prismatic backside and cuddled her. "I told him he'd regret stepping in there."
Hermione spit out a piece of Harry's wand and squeaked the sky blue in otterese.
"I think we should move to the ocean," Severus said.
The otter in his arms stilled, and her eyes widened, muzzle parting in a wide otter smile. Suddenly, he had an armful of happy, very naked witch.
"I love you," Hermione purred.
Severus' eyes darkened as he crooned, his mouth covering hers in a heated kiss. "I love you too, my wife."