Author's Note: Underneath Our Bad Blood is a direct sequel to my main story Goodnight Love and continues as a mixture of the comic books and TV series, but can be read purely as a stand-alone. It follows the basic premise of Dead City but with various changes. Videos for characters canon and original, can be found on my YouTube channel via the link on my profile.

CONTEXT:

My OC, Imogen Alford, was Negan's mistress before the world ended and they had a daughter, Tess. Imogen has an older brother called Kit whom she and Tess lived with at this time. They were close friends and neighbors of Carol Peletier, only to end up becoming separated during the evacuation. Later, they found Carol again, becoming part of her group led by Rick Grimes, whom Imogen eventually married and they had a daughter, Daisy. After Rick's 'death', Imogen gave birth to their second daughter, Claudia, and raised Tess, Judith, Daisy and Claudia with the help of her family.

Rick Grimes's canon disappearance has been changed so that his personal effects were found in the aftermath of Pamela Milton's arrest, confirming a link between the Commonwealth and the CRM, leading to Imogen setting out to find him.

Carl Grimes and Sophie Peletier are still alive and they are married with two children. He is currently spearheading the rebuilding of the Kingdom and leads the small growing settlement there. Ezekiel, Carol and Mercer have assumed control of the Commonwealth, with help from Eugene and the others. Michonne is married to Imogen's brother, Kit, and they have three children whilst leading Alexandria, chairing the Council. Imogen and her family live in Alexandria, alongside them and Daryl Dixon. Maggie and her son, Hershel, relocated to the Hilltop near Manhattan, where they now stay, along with Beth and Alden, Elijah and Lydia and the rest of their growing community. Negan lives with Annie and their son, Joshua, just outside New Babylon.

'I have this dream that I am hitting my dad with a baseball bat

And he is screaming and crying for help

And maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him

Than it ever did protecting myself.'

Brian Sella

'All daughters turn into bloodthirsty hounds – after years of licking their wounds and biting their tongues.'

S.R.M

Under The Windmill

Before

Tess Smith stood under the creaking sails of the old windmill, shading her eyes with the back of her hand as she watched Lydia deliver an array of letters and packages to her little sisters. She couldn't help but note how the other girl still gave her a wide berth even after all this time. Not that Tess was so anxious for Lydia's company either. Lydia had been many things during the time Tess had known her, but it was mostly as Tess's rival which rankled the most. Despite differences in temperament, they were otherwise superficially alike in appearance, both being tall and slim, although Tess still possessed an awkward coltishness she'd never outgrown that Lydia lacked; the two girls sharing the same dark hair, tanned complexions and nervous air that punctuated their presences.

As a young teen, Tess had been severely bullied for being Negan's daughter until Lydia had arrived and was attacked instead for being Alpha's, Tess taking advantage of it in order to escape her tormentors' attentions. Even as she'd felt guilty for throwing Lydia to the wolves, she had still done it regardless. What was Lydia to her anyways but the enemy, a Whisperer who'd brought war to her mother's doorstep. But then Negan had taken Lydia under his wing, treating her like she was his daughter, like she was Tess. And so it had continued, Lydia worming her way into the affections of those Tess held dear, edging Tess out of theirs. Or so it had felt at the time, with Tess having no idea Lydia was just as envious as Tess was jealous.

As the years passed, Tess had matured and gained some much needed perspective, finally finding her footing without feeling threatened by Lydia. Whilst not exactly friends, they weren't enemies either, existing in an awkward inbetween. But that was until Elijah's arrival, the older boy clearly taken with Tess, who hadn't quite known how to handle his enthusiastic admiration. Meanwhile, Lydia had watched them with uneasy eyes, still mourning Henry whilst fighting her own reluctant attraction towards Elijah. Unaware of Lydia's conflicted interest in him, Elijah had continued to court Tess for a time, but she had ultimately rejected his attentions, leaving him to later turn to Lydia for consolation instead.

Elijah and Lydia now lived together over at the Hilltop, for all appearances happy and thriving. But despite everything, deep down, Tess took a savage satisfaction in the knowledge that it could have been her at the Hilltop with Elijah, that Lydia now knew what it was like to be second-best, the runner-up. It felt good to give the girl a taste of her own medicine. Tess knew it was petty and childish, but old scars ran deep and thus Lydia now always took care never to be near Tess if it could be helped, sensing nothing had changed after all.

As Lydia then left, Tess watched her sisters peruse their post, their fingers frantically flicking through missives and labels. But from their subsequently disappointed facial expressions, she could tell that there was still as yet no further word from their mother, not that Tess would have expected any. Imogen Grimes had been gone for six months now, leaving no indication of her recent whereabouts, nobody knowing whether she had come to harm or not. All her hastily scrawled messages had slowed to a stop, even as Imogen had warned them she might eventually find herself out of range. She was believed to be abroad the frontier on an extended mission due to concerns relating to the Commonwealth, but this was merely a cover story orchestrated by Ezekiel to hide the truth.

Whilst Tess constantly stressed to her sisters that no news was good news, secretly, Tess was slowly but surely succumbing. She was finding herself overwhelmed with apprehension, all her old demons coming to claim her. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a good night's sleep. It was also becoming increasingly difficult to balance her medical studies with the day to day responsibilities of running a household, even with her Uncle Daryl's help. But with Daryl departing soon, going forwards, she would have to learn to solely maintain the uneasy domestic balance she'd established, without Daryl sitting there at the head of the table, helping keep order. Her uncle and aunt, Kit and Michonne, more than tried to help, but their hands were already full with looking after Alexandria as well as their own young family, Tess refusing to lean on them any further than she was already.

Imogen's absence was a consequence of the changes that had had come to pass since that fateful night the flames had consumed the heart of the Commonwealth. After assuming leadership, Ezekiel and Mercer had launched an investigation into the darker side of the Commonwealth, focusing on their practices of people trafficking and transportation of so called 'defectives', using as a starting point the lists Connie and Kelly had uncovered of citizens who had mysteriously disappeared. But when some of Rick Grimes's personal effects had unexpectedly been found stored amongst a medley of other items belonging to the missing, the discovery had destroyed the tenuous tranquillity Imogen had managed to finally find for her family.

The knowledge Rick had survived the explosion at the bridge after all this time had sent Imogen spiralling, forcing Tess to take up the family reins, Imogen too intent on uncovering what had happened to her husband. After Imogen had brutally attacked Pamela Milton whilst cross-examining her, Pamela pleading complete ignorance, Ezekiel had formally withdrawn Imogen from the investigation, telling her to be with her daughters instead during this difficult time. With Carol's assistance, he had then swiftly turned his attention to the archive of files in Lance Hornsby's former quarters, Carol then uncovering a secret safe where they had found a wealth of incriminating information connecting the Commonwealth to an organization only known as the CRM, indicating a profitable relationship between them where people were traded for weaponry and supplies, reducing them to the level of livestock.

Why the CRM were engaged in the flesh market, Ezekiel wasn't sure, but he intended to uncover and stop it regardless. Whether Pamela Milton's assertions of ignorance were true or not, Ezekiel didn't know either, but he had enough information to present to Imogen to suggest Rick was in the possession of the CRM. They also had a basic frame of geographical reference of where to start their search for him, even if it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack at this point. Whether Rick was still alive was another matter altogether. By now though, Imogen had recovered herself enough to realize the recriminations of what this would mean.

From the early days of their relationship, Rick and Imogen had both promised to put their family first before anything else, even each other, and now she would have to choose between looking for the man she loved or staying with their children. Ezekiel had offered to send out a search party in her stead, with Daryl also determined to disappear into the blue to find the man he called brother. But to the mens' mutual frustration, Imogen had asked them to give her time before making a final decision, even as she believed she had wasted enough as it was.

For years, Daryl had hinted at the possibility of Rick perhaps being alive after finding no body during his long searches of the river. But Imogen had always refused to countenance it, knowing she couldn't leave her children without concrete evidence, and even then, she felt she would still be breaking the promise she had made Rick. Confronted with the knowledge Rick could be alive, guilt now warred with grief, tearing Imogen in two. She had blindly believed him to be dead, deliberately killing all hope within her just to get through the days. And in doing so, she had failed to find him, abandoning him to an uncertain fate. Yet when faced with such a second chance of saving him, she still hesitated, even when she knew deep down it had to be her, and nobody else. But in the end, her daughters had decided for her, coming together to give their permission for her to go and finally find their father.

Word had been sent to Carl Grimes, but he had merely sent a curt note in return stating his stepmother was chasing ghosts, and he wanted no part of her madness. She should just let Rick rest in peace. He had long since painfully come to terms with Rick's death, accepting it with his characteristically stoic air that always brooked no opposition. His relationship with Imogen had always been strained, but he was no longer the boy he'd been, being a young man with a wife and family of his own, and he felt he owed Imogen nothing now.

After Enid's death, he had remained at the Hilltop, slowly drawing closer to Sophia, whom he'd eventually married. He'd initially wanted Judith to live with them, but Imogen had put up a fierce fight, Carl arguing she no longer had any claim on Judith. She was Lori's daughter, not Imogen's. He would have also taken his half sisters too if he could, just to upset Imogen further. In the end, Judith had decided to stay with Imogen and her siblings, forcing Carl to concede defeat. After the destruction of the Hilltop, Carl and a pregnant Sophia had then moved back to the Kingdom, intent on resurrecting it to its full glory. Carl had soon swiftly assumed unofficial leadership of the small settlement that had sprung up around them, everyone looking to him for guidance, like they had looked to his father.

But Carol thought such schemes were sheer folly, creating an unexpected rift between mother and daughter. During this time, Sophia had suffered a bad miscarriage between her first and third pregnancies, and the latter had recently left her in a weakened state, furthering Carol's concerns. However, Sophia had asked Carol to stay away, unable to deal with the stress, Ezekiel acting as an intermediary between them instead. He was supplying Carl with all he needed to rebuild the Kingdom, his interest in the project purely personal, and progress was slow but sure, Carl quietly convinced he would achieve all he intended. But he refused to leave his responsibilities to search for a father he firmly believed to be dead, and Imogen had ripped his letter up, before breaking down for the family they had once been so briefly.

Tess leaned a calloused palm against the closest panel of brightly colored wood, now smooth and polished, the windmill decorated with a bright medley of rainbows and far horizons. It had been her aunt Michonne's idea to commemorate the community's new beginning, the windmill embodying Alexandria, now and then. The project had served as a welcome distraction for her sisters, but Tess had taken no part, throwing herself into her work instead at the infirmary and learning how to run a house. Carl couldn't be relied upon, and so as the next eldest child, she'd had to step up to the mark. She consequently no longer had time for childish pursuits, and with Daryl now leaving to try and discover what had happened to Imogen, she would have to resume the responsibilities he had shifted onto his shoulders.

Lacking Carl's co-operation, Imogen had all but forced Daryl to promise to stay with the children in her stead. Alexandria was now under Michonne and Kit's command, the couple co-chairing the Council, Michonne taking centre-stage whilst Kit worked behind the scenes. With no desire to lead, Imogen had been content to hand over control, Michonne and Kit making swift progress to establish Alexandria on a firmer footing. With this in mind, Imogen knew whilst they would watch over her daughters in her absence, through no fault of their own, they just wouldn't be able to give her children their full time and attention.

With no other dependants but Dog, Daryl could though, and in the end, he had also given his word with gritted teeth. He had initially argued for Imogen to stay, that it wasn't safe for her to go haring off out there; it wasn't what Rick would want, but Imogen had been implacable in her decision. The only concession she had allowed Daryl was that she wouldn't go out there alone, instead leading the search party Ezekiel had originally offered, as long as Daryl promised to remain with her daughters.

But a few weeks ago, in light of the loss of contact between Alexandria and Imogen, Tess had reluctantly taken the matter into her own hands by sitting down and discussing the situation with Daryl. She had confided her fears to him, the older man admitting to sharing them. After further consultation with Michonne and the others, preparations had then been made for Daryl to leave and find out what had possibly happened to the girls' parents, if there were any answers to be had at all. During her darkest moments, Tess still quietly believed the worst had happened, but Daryl was adamant he would bring them both back.

Daryl himself had no qualms about leaving the girls in Kit and Michonne's care. The community was now thriving; Michonne bringing her vision for Alexandria to life, making sure it was what it should have always been. Alexandria was now a place for their futures to unfold, providing a home for their families and the generations to follow. Kit and Michonne's daughter, Elodie, had just started school, whilst RJ was taking his first steps, Michonne expecting their third child any day now. The girls would still have family around them despite Carl acting like a little prick. Even with Daryl gone, they weren't and wouldn't ever be alone.

Yet Tess didn't share the same certainty, feeling isolated even when surrounded by her sisters. It was not a new sensation though. Since the war with the Saviors, a deep seated paranoia had taken root within her at being Negan's daughter, with people having not been shy to show their prejudice towards her over the ensuing years. Now she was always on edge, convinced everyone around her was still secretly judging and condemning her for the sins of the father, even as it appeared they didn't. Imogen had always been her buffer, softening the blows, but with her mother now missing, Tess was struggling to control the darkness in her mind on occasion.

Those she was closest to, where the furthest from her, Tess having to draw strength from their talks over the radio or by letter. With Ezekiel acting as the new Governor of the Commonwealth, and Mercer as his Lieutenant Governor, Carol had remained there by his side, undertaking the role of Director of Operations which Lance Hornsby had once filled, working alongside Eugene and his wife to restore order. Her latest letters to Tess had intimated she and Ezekiel were rekindling their romance, Carol acting surprisingly coy on the subject. Another visit from them was in the works but Tess didn't see it taking place any time soon, knowing Ezekiel and Carol had their hands full.

As well as dealing with the standard issues that came with his role, Ezekiel's main priorities were to improve the living conditions of the lower wards, as well as dealing with the applications for emancipation from the various colonies and territories that still existed under the Commonwealth's rule. Some had surprisingly changed their mind after their representatives had met with Ezekiel and Mercer, whilst others remained undecided or unconvinced; with the New Babylon Federation in particular aggressively pushing for their own autonomy without wanting to compromise on the matter.

Ezekiel had offered Imogen a leading role in the new administration, but again she had declined the offer, only wanting to live quietly with her children. Without Rick, it felt there was no future for her, only their family. She had no ambitions of her own beyond seeing her daughters safe. Several years had past since Rick's supposed death, but the pain was still as fresh as the day she'd stood on the riverbank screaming his name. Sometimes Tess believed it would have been easier for them to just cut their ties with Alexandria altogether and return to the Commonwealth. There, Tess would have had Carol's full support and Ezekiel's authority to rely upon. But when recently voicing this to Daryl, Tess suggesting they could go back to the Commonwealth, he had been against the idea of uprooting her sisters, as well as upending Tess's internship.

Yet there were her sisters' futures to consider too, with Judith having already begun her apprenticeship in security, something that could see her perhaps move to the Commonwealth after all a few years hence, wherein she would have the chance to further her skills and future in their military force. Then there was Daisy and Claudia who had expressed interests working with horses and in farming respectively. Maggie had already offered to take both girls under her wing to see if they had an affinity for their chosen field, before making a permanent commitment. But the prospect threatened to disturb what little remained of Tess's precarious sense of peace.

Maggie had never shown any kind of resentment towards Tess for what Negan had done, but after Glenn's death, Tess had drawn away from Maggie regardless. Upon the occasions Maggie had snapped and tried to kill Negan, Tess had undergone extreme mental anguish to the point of being physically ill, much to her mother's torment. But Tess didn't hold Maggie to blame for her actions. What Negan had done had been reprehensible. Yet at the same time, despite everything, Tess didn't want to lose her father. It was an endlessly vicious circle. So when Maggie had been forced to move further afield, rebuilding her community near Manhattan after the Hilltop had been burnt down by Negan during the Whisperer War, Tess had been able to finally find some breathing space.

As for Negan himself, Tess hadn't seen him since the Commonwealth had burned, her father and stepmother, Annie, discreetly leaving the day afterwards. He had written to Tess several times since then though during their journey on the road, a largely one-sided correspondence until they'd moved into a little cabin just outside New Babylon, where Annie had given birth to a little boy named Joshua. Tess hadn't been to visit her brother yet, using her responsibilities as an excuse not to, just not having the nerve. But her relationship with Negan felt too raw right now to risk the uneasy middle ground they had reached.

For the time being, it was better to build their bond from afar, and thus she wrote to Negan every week, always enclosing a note for Annie along with a message for her baby brother or a small gift. Negan's letters in return were deliberately full of the charm that had made her mother fall for him, but Tess forced herself to remain unswayed by what she considered his bluster. Annie's responses were always warm, and she sometimes sent photos of Joshua, Tess seeing a strong resemblance to herself in him. As long as Annie and Joshua were safe and happy, and Negan was keeping his nose clean, that was all Tess could wish for. Negan knew nothing of the possibility of Rick's return from the dead, and Tess had made sure it stayed so, with only her family's inner circle aware of the real reason behind Imogen's absence.

For a time she had wanted her parents back together, and there had once seemed a chance of it. But she had come to see Imogen had been out of her mind with grief over Rick and was trying to go back to a time before the pain, Negan manipulating her mother for his own ends, with love only being a small part of it. Or whatever had constituted love for Negan. He had loved his first wife, Lucille - that had been blindingly clear to Tess. Yet when it came to her mother, it seemed more about twisted passion and possession than anything else. He had treated Imogen as if he owned her, a piece of property. As for Imogen, Negan had been her first love, but love had become hate, Tess caught in its crossfire.

Shading her eyes again, Tess watched as Judith came running over to her, brandishing a small box. Small for her age, fierce and forthright, Judith was the only one of her sisters not related by blood to Tess, not that it made any difference. The curious thing was Judith bore a marked physical resemblance to Imogen despite not being her actual daughter, making strangers do a double-take when finding out otherwise. If Imogen loved Judith that little bit more than her own blood, Tess couldn't find it in her heart to resent Judith for it. Only Daryl knew that Tess had long been aware of the secret of Judith's parentage, having accidentally overheard Rick and Imogen discussing it one day when she was small. She had recently told Daryl who had merely shrugged and told her to forget it. Shane was long gone, whilst Rick remained a mere memory, and nobody had the right to take even that from Judith.

"Look what your dad sent me, Tess!" Judith declared, ramming the box into Tess's hands as she drew level with her sister, startling Tess.

"What, Negan?" Tess said stupidly, glancing at Judith with confusion.

"Who else?" Judith exclaimed impatiently. "I'd forgotten all about it and now he's sent it back!" Her small freckled face suddenly fell. "I'm glad he sent it back," she admitted in a small voice, wringing her hands together. "Now Mom's gone."

Frowning, Tess opened the small box, carefully sliding off the lid. Inside lay Judith's old compass, its long brown cord curled in a coil. For a long moment, Tess stared at the monogrammed piece, remembering her mother gifting it to Judith on her birthday so long ago. Daryl had etched Judith's initials on the back in large swooping letters, striving to keep the initials even, but not quite achieving it. The compass had once been in Rick's possession before passing into Judith's, along with Rick's Colt Pistol, a fitting allegory to the only fighter amongst the four girls. Claudia had come to inherit Rick's old battered Stetson from Carl, whilst Daisy owned his watch which had been washed up by the river, rusted but still recognizable. Carl had kept his father's former wedding ring, which Rick had passed onto him after marrying Imogen, and it now served as his own sign of commitment to Sophia.

As for Tess, Rick had given her his old red machete one Christmas, cleaned up and with her name scored on the hilt in jagged letters. It had been recovered from the Saviors stores, after it been taken along with their other weapons as tribute. He had sat her down and showed her the opposite side of the hilt, where another girl's name had been crudely etched, MANDY. Upon cleaning the machete, he had unwound the ragged red tape and been surprised by the sight of the name, paternal instinct leading him to suspect it had perhaps been a father's gift to his daughter long ago. He had told Tess all this, before quietly saying no matter what, it was now once more a gift from a father to his daughter. It had then gone on to save her life on many an occasion, the only weapon she ever felt comfortable wielding, palpable proof of a father's protection.

Biting her lip, Tess opened the accompanying note, the sight of Negan's slanting handwriting hurting her. Rick had become her father to all intents and purposes, being there for her when Negan hadn't, whether he couldn't be or otherwise. Even though Imogen had fled from Negan for good reason, Tess had resented her mother for it until Negan had unexpectedly returned, ripping Tess from her family. She still remembered that day when Dwight had dragged her out of the family home, removing her to the Sanctuary upon Negan's orders. She'd lost her voice, her throat red raw with screaming for her parents, the echo of her sisters' wails following in her wake as she was taken away. Negan had only cared about owning Imogen once again, and it had taken years for Negan to finally apologize for what he had done, Tess never sure even now if he really meant it.

With narrowed eyes, she glanced over Negan's brief note, all too aware of Judith watching. Her little sister still firmly believed Negan had it in him to be a better man, something Imogen had always found grimly amusing, having once naively believed that herself. Tess had also once held such faith in her father, but not now, not anymore. As she perused his pretty words - Judith, this has always helped me find my way. I'm returning it to you now in the hope that it will guide you to your dreams. Thank you for letting me use it, Negan – she couldn't help but reluctantly remember what had led to these words, those distant dark days that followed the collapse of the bridge.

Negan had been in jail, undergoing a rehabilitation programme after yet another suicide attempt, a pregnant Imogen reluctantly attending to his welfare alongside Father Gabriel. During this period, still reeling from Rick's death, Tess had unexpectedly turned back to Negan, trying to find in him what she had lost. She'd started spending time with him during supervised visits, with Imogen sitting in on them on occasion, Father Gabriel on others. Despite Imogen's obvious disgust, Negan was surprisingly sympathetic and supportive as Imogen struggled to lead Alexandria, Negan quietly offering Imogen advice and listening to her problems, Imogen inexplicably finding herself confiding in him after another long day trying to keep everything on track. That's when Tess had started to dream of her parents getting back together. Negan appeared to have changed, becoming once again the father she remembered from before.

As the years went by, time had further broken down the barriers between Negan and Imogen, despite Imogen's best efforts to keep her distance. It had started from the moment Negan had held Claudia in his large hands after she'd been born, resurrecting old painful memories. Imogen had gone into labor one morning during a cell spot-check, and he'd helped deliver Claudia, the daughter of the man who'd destroyed Negan's empire. But for one brief moment, it had been like going back in time to when they'd been happy, Imogen remembering how Negan had cradled Tess in his hands with the tears rolling down his face.

Lonely and lost, Imogen had then drawn closer to Negan without ever crossing that final line, even as she'd veered dangerously near it too many times. Her daughters had also drawn close to him, all but barring Daisy, who openly despised him. But whilst Tess continued to visit him on a daily basis, Judith had started sneaking over to his cell window to speak to him, at first out of curiosity, and then for the paternal camaraderie he provided. Meanwhile, Claudia had long since formed an attachment to Negan, having accompanied Imogen and Tess since she was a baby during Tess's supervised visits with Negan. For a time, they had formed a strange family unit until it had all unravelled. But right up to meeting Annie and even perhaps afterwards, Negan had never really stopped trying to get Imogen back, his motives never as pure as he presented them.

"Tess?"

Tess shook her head, recovering herself. "Sorry, I was miles away," she tried to smile, hurriedly folding the note up and closing the box again. "Here," she then said, handing it back to Judith, "look after it, OK?"

Judith nodded solemnly, cradling the box in the crux of her elbow. "Maybe a letter from Mom will come tomorrow," she said firmly, big hazel eyes defiant, "and Uncle Daryl can stay."

Tess didn't say anything, finding she couldn't, merely drawing Judith into her arms instead, holding onto what she still had left.

I come back to the places

Where we found us…