You respond to the scene of a robbery at a convenience store where a clerk has been shot. Relatives of the victim are on the scene. They are extremely upset and their presence is interfering with the collection of evidence. They demand to know what actions you are taking to find the person who shot the clerk. What would be the most effective next step to take as the Detective?

A. Take the relatives away from the scene and reassure them that everything possible is being done. Explain the processing of crime scenes and the necessity of the procedures in place.

B. Direct the officers at the scene to handle the relatives. Tell them that they must move away from the areas where evidence is being collected or they will be arrested for interfering.

C. Tell the relatives that there are procedures to be followed at the crime scene. Explain that their actions could impede the progress of the investigation and ask them to move out of the crime scene.

Well it definitely wasn't B.

It went against all de-escalation tactics, plus what kind of asshole threatened to arrest someone who'd just lost a loved one? That's probably why the answer was included, an attempt to weed those people out. Between the other two… they were both acceptable but he was drawn towards A. But he had been told he was too soft. Should he go with C?

A tap on his door had him shaking his head to clear it before he nodded at Greg. "What's up?"

"Just seeing how the studying's going. Who the fuck would pick B?" He asked as he snuck a peak at his booklet, making Jay snort. "What're you picking?"

"I'm stuck between A and C."

"Worried you're being too nice?"

"Pretty much."

"Such an overthinker."

Didn't he know it. It was only a practice test, and Antonio had told him lots of the questions had two acceptable answers but he wanted to get the best grade he could. He'd been dreaming about making Detective since he'd joined the force, had his sights set on Organized Crime and he knew the best way to make that happen was to show not just that he deserved the rank but that he had earned it.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to take any breaks.

"You feel like heading to Lydia's?" He asked as he finally closed his textbook, starting to work out the kinks that had formed in his neck while he'd been hunched over it.

"I wasn't sure you'd want to go tonight."

"Well we couldn't go last night and I've got no idea what shift will be like tomorrow so if you're down-"

"Of course I'm down! I love me some L-Sizzle."

Jay snorted, he had no idea what had prompted the nickname but Mouse found it hilarious, and even though she pretended not to they all knew Lydia did too. She really was their surrogate mother. And he could definitely use one of her motivational speeches right now. Not just for his upcoming exam, though as much as he loved his best friend the older woman rivalled Tess for being his biggest supporter for advancing his career, but because even though he couldn't explain why Jay felt like something was… off.

He had ever since yesterday afternoon, some weird little pit at the bottom of his stomach. He couldn't put his finger on what was causing it, and he hadn't done anything about it, there wasn't anything he could do and he wasn't going to worry anyone for no reason. But he was hoping a night with two of his favourite people would put his worries to rest.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

"Dude."

"What?" Mouse asked as he continued banging on the door of the brownstone and though Jay wanted to stop him he knew if he tried his friend would just turn to hitting him and that wasn't a fight he wanted to get into right now.

They'd embarrassed themselves in front of Lydia's neighbours enough.

Greg called it his 'secret knock' but really it was just him rapping his knuckles over and over until someone answered, because 'that was the fastest way'. But after a minute Lydia still hadn't appeared.

"Maybe she's out."

"No, I checked her cell signal on the way here and it says she's home."

"That's an invasion of privacy we're going to talk about later." Mouse just gave him a look, fair because Tess did it all the time. The least they could do was look after her aunt. "Maybe she's in the shower."

Greg just made a face and kept rapping until finally they heard the click of the lock, his friend grinning as the door swung open. "What took you so long, you just didn't want to see us?"

Lydia smiled but it was too tight, too fake, but while he saw that his friend didn't, too busy slipping past the arm she threw out to stop him.

She hadn't ever tried to stop them from coming in before.

"Can you hold on a second-"

But he didn't, he never did, though he also didn't get far. "What're you doing back? Did you get benched again?"

Tess?

Tess was here?

Why was she back, why- why wouldn't she have called him?

Why was Lydia so upset?

"Gregory Gerwitz." The older woman hissed and the way she looked from his friend to him… his stomach had already been growing tight but now it dropped.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong.

"What?"

"You and I are going out to the deck to get some air."

"I just came from outside."

Jay would have laughed, sometimes Greg was so dense it amazed him but he couldn't. All he could do was take off his shoes, feeling like he moved in slow motion as he finally followed them into the living room, like if he just went slow enough he could avoid what was coming.

But he couldn't.

"We are going outside." Lydia affirmed again and the look she shot him then…

He knew that look, that gut-wrenching sympathy.

He hated that look.

"Why? I wanna know what she did- OW!"

Any other time he would've enjoyed watching Lydia drag his friend out by his ear but his eyes were fixed on Tess where she sat on the couch watching them, watching him, her blue eyes wide with fear and dark with pain.

He knew that look too.

He hated that look even more.

He couldn't do this. Not again. Not with her.

"Are you sick?"

"What?" Her face scrunched with confusion but that didn't calm him, didn't get rid of the mental images bombarding him, tired eyes and wane lips and a trembling smile.

A promise it would all be okay that couldn't ever be kept.

He couldn't do this again.

Not with Tess.

"Are you sick?"

Her head cocked and it took another minute until she understood and then she was jumping up and grabbing him, tightly, but even though she shook her head he still felt every one of the tremors that was running through her like they were his.

"No. I'm not sick, that's not- that's not what this is." She said that but her voice and that look of fear didn't inspire confidence, not until she dug her nails into his arms so tightly he could feel them through his jacket. "I am not sick. I promise."

She wasn't sick.

Whatever was wrong, it wasn't that.

He didn't have to go through that again.

He wasn't going to lose her.

The relief that washed over him was so strong his knees actually shook but Tess held him up, whispering over and over that she was sorry, that she wasn't sick. She wasn't sick. But something was still wrong. She was here when she shouldn't be, had come here instead of to him but that was okay. Whatever it was they would be okay.

He just had to get her to see that.

Had to get those big blue eyes smiling again.

"Tess it's alright. That was my worst-case scenario so whatever it is, I promise it's better than that."

Why did he get the feeling that was the worst thing he could have said?

"Tess-"

"I was pregnant."

Pregnant.

She was-

She was pregnant.

"I-… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Jay's heart broke when she buried her face in her hands, an ache he knew he was always going to feel, that they always would. Because it was her body but they'd both just lost something. He hated himself for the few seconds it took him to get his arms working but once she was in them his purpose solidified, take care of Tess, something he failed at when he roughly lifted her up; that was a noise of pain she made when her legs wrapped around his waist. A pain he didn't and could never understand. And one he'd just made worse. She had never felt more fragile as he carried her upstairs, trying so hard to put herself back together for his sake, as if he was the one who mattered right now.

All he wanted was to tuck her under the covers and crawl in after her so they could hide from this latest hurt together but he knew he had to make a couple things clear first.

"I don't want to make you talk about anything you're not ready to, okay? I just want to know if you're hurt- if, if you're in pain-… I just-"

Fuck him.

Of course she was hurt, of course she was in pain. How could he differentiate the emotional from the physical when they were so inextricably linked?

"They found it on my physical." Tess said quietly, her eyes slowly flicking between his, so fucking sad another piece of his heart broke. "But it was ectopic, it was outside my uterus, so they had to take it out-"

Already?

He would have been there, would have fucking ran there to make sure she didn't go through this herself.

"Are you okay? Is there any-" Fuck. He didn't know what to say, he just wanted to help her. Wanted to take as much of her pain as he could. "I don't know how that works, I don't know what questions to ask, I just- I just want to know that you're going to be okay."

Finally her eyes softened, still sad as fuck but a touch warmer. Until the nerves came back. "I will be okay. They… There was a small complication and they had to take out one of my fallopian tubes. That's-"

"I know what the fallopian tubes are."

She'd told him.

The first time she'd had her period while home he'd been so concerned about making sure she was comfortable that she'd given him, and Mouse, multiple demonstrations on how the female reproductive system worked. Everything from what a period was to how they put tampons in, and took them out, or cups in her case. But this wasn't funny. This wasn't something she just had to deal with, this was something that had been taken from her.

Two things.

"Are there complications that come from that?"

She shook her head but her growing look of worry told him it wasn't that simple. "No. There's-… I'll have some cramping and minor bleeding- like my period. Just for a few days. And-… they said that it may be harder to- to get pregnant again."

Just like that all those images he'd had of her with a big belly, rocking a little one to sleep while another grew inside her shattered. And that hurt, another piece of him breaking but after a second Jay realized he didn't care.

He didn't give a flying fuck about some make-believe children, some fantasy of his future.

The only thing he cared about was making sure she was in it.

"Do not think that that is anything that I care about." He said roughly, tilting her head up till she had no chance of looking away, not that she tried. Her eyes glued to him just as fiercely as his were to her. "You hear me? I care about you, only you."

She believed him.

Thank God she believed him.

His knees shook again as he brought her back in but he planted himself against her, his strength growing stronger as Tess's left. She let him take all her weight as he stood her up, let him tuck her beneath the covers, her tired, solemn eyes tracking him as he took off his jacket before he climbed in next to her, pulling her close until every part of him was wrapped around her and then finally she let out everything she'd been holding in. It started small, little huffs of breath that grew into sniffles which became whimpers, slowly growing louder until the first sob burst out of her and then she was gone. All he could do was hold her and do his best to make sure she didn't see or feel the tears that were slipping down his own cheeks, pressing kiss after kiss to the top of her head, the best reminder he could give her that he was here, that he had her. There wasn't anything he could say right now that would take her pain away, wasn't anything that ever would but he could hold her through it, through every gasping sob until she eventually exhausted herself and fell into an uneasy sleep.

All Jay cared about was making sure she would be okay but he still couldn't help thinking how when he'd held her like this just a few nights ago, a much happier moment, she'd been pregnant.

She'd been pregnant and he hadn't known.

And he couldn't help wondering if maybe this was his fault. Logically he knew that wasn't possible but it still felt like it was. Like his desire for her to come home, to stay home and start a family with him was the reason it had been taken from them. From her. Was this his punishment for wanting something she hadn't been ready to give?