No one would find him here. With time, he'd gotten much better at hiding. Mom and dad would be crossed for sure. He knew very little about economics or trade (he'd get to that soon), but he was certain that facing their wrath was a fair price to pay for some alone time, blanketed in silence and learning. His tiny fingers flipped the pages with delighted excitement, though the book was quite heavy to handle for a three year-old. Or else everyone in the troupe was right and he was indeed a useless weakling. His attention fully absorbed, he didn't notice the muffled giggles edging closer.
It was only when the closet door slid on its rail that he understood. He got up and ran in a feeble attempt to escape, but a gloved hand threw him against a dressing table nearby. As he hit the floor in a painful thud, the giggles turned into devilish laughs. Big painted lips, pompons and color dots were dancing in front of his eyes, either because of the impact or fear blurring his sight. He ran his hand through his hair. It was all red and sticky. One of the gloves seized him again, followed by others, to hold him down.
NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD
His own screams could barely be heard over their bloodcurdling litany, accompanied by a mechanical, humming noise. Then he felt it.
The pain of a thousand cuts drilled into his flesh and a relentless vibration throughout his skull.
NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD NERD
–
The ship's horn rang out as he opened his eyes. He stretched and yawned and, quite without thinking, skimmed his forehead with the tip of his fingers. Even after fifteen years, the large N he'd been branded with was still raised. Swiftly, he got up and grabbed his suitcase. He'd have gladly extended his nap, but the boat had now reached the docks.
He had only just set foot on land when he was greeted by a stocky young man.
"Long time no see," peeped the latter. "How was your trip?"
Cortex wasn't surprised in the least by that overflowing enthusiasm. After all, how could one react differently when overwhelmed by his peerless mystique?
"Tedious as always," he sighed while he handed him his suitcase and they began to walk towards their destination. Secluded on a remote island and coated in a perpetual fog — rendering aerial approaches nearly impossible — the Academy of Evil had been the closest thing to what they'd call a home for the past ten years. "I never had your sea legs, my dear ."
It was at this moment Cortex noticed that his friend sported a hideous ear-length bob with tiny bangs which looked like they'd been trimmed by a parkinsonian lumberjack.
"Do you like it? I wanted to try something new…"
"I… can't imagine this haircut on anyone else."
"Tee-hee-hee! You sure know how to make a lady blush," Gin cooed with a modest wave of the hand. "By the way, that's quite a lot of hair you have," he said, referring to his stubble and his head full of soft curls. "Courses start only in two days, why don't you let me tidy that u…"
"Probably later," Cortex cut straight off.
He considered his looks to be an outward manifestation of the intellect in him. That is, flawless.
"And what about that sweet internship that you landed? Where was that again? Brio told me several times, but that won't sink in for some reason!"
"The Vatican."
"Wow, I never thought they could hire you." Afraid that the concerned one could take offence, he went one. "Or any evil genius for that matter! I mean, the whole thing seems a bit contradictory."
"Oh trust me Gin, you'd be surprised…" Cortex snickered.
To top it all, men and women of the cloth were a mine of inhibited libido, and he'd taken perverse pleasure in harnessing it. He chose to keep that detail out of their conversation, for only feeble minds spilled their secrets like loose change.
The night was already quite advanced when he finished unpacking. Sharing the daily life of Cortex was an enchanting delight, thus both his companions took turns fulfilling this role since they were children. For this last year, the honor belonged to Gin. Though very obliging, he was a much less discreet roommate than Brio. At least this dorm was bigger than the previous one…
"Must you blast that god awful music?" He growled. "I'm trying to read."
Gin, who was too busy fluttering around and humming along in broken French, didn't hear him at first. Since getting up off his bed was simply out of the question, Cortex grabbed the first thing near at hand (namely his very sharp Epic Evil Olympics trophy) and hurled it towards his target. The projectile landed on the back of Gin's head in a metallic thump.
"Ouch-ohooo! You've done this before, haven't you?" He giggled.
"Just turn it off!"
"But it helps me to stay focused!"
"Then try to focus in silence for a change."
He complied reluctantly, giving Cortex the relaxation he yearned for… for a short time.
"Dominique-nique-nique s'en allait tout simplement, routier pauvre et chantant*…"
"GIN!" Cortex thundered while he tossed his book aside.
"You told me to turn the music off, but you never said anything about singing."
"Is it a jest, or do you truly aim to test my patience?"
"En tous chemins, en tous lieux il ne parle que du bon Dieu, il ne parle que du bon D… Err, sorry!" Gin exclaimed before his friend's black look. "Perhaps I'm a bit overexcited."
"Oh, you think?"
"It's just… you've been gone for a year. This is the longest we've ever been apart." He gaped for a few seconds and took and sat crossed-legged on the rug in the middle of the room. "I've missed you."
"Well," Cortex mumbled as he felt his throat tighten. "I guess it wouldn't be that irritating if you kept the volume down."
Gin's face lit up.
"Thank you!"
"I was about to head out anyway, so really, do as you please," he insisted, trying to ignore the tingling sensation in his cheeks.
"Out?! Like, now?"
"The patrols stop at eleven, I'll be fine."
"Dressed like this?"
Cortex gazed down at his black tank top and assorted shorts and shrugged.
"Why if I do bump into someone it'll make their day!"
To be fair, he would have rather paraded completely naked in front of the whole school than endure Gin's syrupy outpourings for one more minute. Thus he found himself strolling the empty corridors, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. He knew he should have brought a torch. Not that he, Cortex, was afraid of the dark. He just occasionally found the absence of light somewhat…disconcerting. An utterly rational acknowledgement, of course, considering what might lurk in the shadows. He treaded carefully towards the kitchens, intent on procuring some well-deserved churros, when something snagged his attention upon passing the science lab. The sound of test tubes and flasks clinking together, which suddenly ignited his curiosity. Who knew what kind of dastardly experiment was now taking place ? Without further ado, he pushed the wooden door and stepped into the room.
A candle illuminated a silhouette who was leaning on a lab bench. From where he stood, Cortex could only make out much except for long hair and delicate hands, busy with some dastardly experiment. The floor creaked, immediately betraying his presence, and the unknown scientist spinned round.
It was a girl, whose beauty was so exquisite, it was as if art itself had conspirated to create her form.
"Who's there?" She asked as she squinted and stepped forward.
Cortex, typically verbose, found himself momentarily bereft of words.
"Oh," she then sighed, seemingly relieved at the sight of him. "You scared me! I thought you were a monitor, or worse."
"And…" Cortex started as he cleared his throat, "what makes you think I'm not a menace?"
Definitely not his best comeback. Even his unparalleled wit had its occasional sabbatical. Keeping the blood flowing to his brain became increasingly challenging as he sensed her gaze lightly tracing the lower contours of his body.
"Call me shallow, but in my book maniacs don't wear micro shorts,."
"Hum, yeah, well…" he trailed off before getting a grip on himself. "You on the other hand appear to be concocting some mischief!"
"I wish!" Frowning, she rested her hands on her hips, stretching the velvet of the waistcoat that embraced her bust flawlessly. "Have you ever heard of the banana spider?"
"Not that I remember."
Invertebrate creatures were never woven into the fabric of his schemes : too challenging to tame.
"Aside from intense pain and difficulty of breathing, its bite can cause severe priapism," she explained, her lips curling in a predatory smile which made Cortex's heart skip a beat. Then, with a subtle flick of her wrist, she effortlessly beckoned a small flask from the nearby lab bench, guiding it into the embrace of her palm.
"Wait, are you some kind of witch?"
"I don't think so," she answered with a shrug. "It's not like I was born this way." Cortex was about to say something but she went on. "Anyway, I managed to get some of that raging boner venom, for revenge purposes."
"That's an utterly brilliant idea!"
"I'd like to make a sort of serum out of it, but I just can't figure it out… Truth is, I'm not a woman of science either."
Cortex was jubilant. Now was his time to shine!
"I could give you a hand with that. You know, I'm something of a scientist mysel…"
He was abruptly silenced as she lunged at him, swiftly muffling his words by pressing one hand over his mouth, while the other one clenched tightly his arm. Her touch proved warmer than anticipated, contrasting with the cold hue of her complexion. Cortex had never witnessed spontaneous combustion, but gut feeling forewarned him that he was about to experience it firsthand.
"You hear that?" She whispered, eyes wide open.
He froze. The sound reached his ears, and he recognized it all too well: the ponderous, metallic footsteps of robotic legs. Madame Amberley! He wriggled free from the unknown girl's embrace, and in his haste, inadvertently stomped on her foot. Startled, she dropped her flask, which shattered on the floor with a sharp sound. They exchanged a horrified look. The footsteps ceased for a brief moment before resuming, louder, faster: she was heading straight toward them!
"Attempting clandestine escapades under the cloak of darkness, dear students?" Amberley shouted from a distance.
"We're screwed!" He said, keeping his voice so low, it might as well have been a secret shared only with his own ears. "There's only one door, so even if we get out of here, she'll undoubtedly see us! Ugh, think Cortex, think!"
The girl spared him further mental exertion, for she'd already darted to the window, opening it in perfect silence.
"This way!" She urged him as she bestrode the parapet.
"The roof?!"
Cortex began to think the magnificence of her allure rivaled that of her madness. Not that he was afraid or anything, but the notion of plummeting from great heights did invoke subtle shivers of reluctance in his valiant self.
"Perhaps you'd rather stay here and hang out with your lady friend?"
In a strangely synchronized accord with her argument, subdued echoes of doors forcefully flinging open commenced to reverberate all around them, followed by the headmistress' roar.
"Consequences shall befall those who defy the rules, and rest assured, they won't be as forgiving as the night!"
"Alright, alright!" Cortex squeaked uncontrollably as he reached the parapet. "On the count of three! One… two…"
The girl interrupted him by gently cupping his chin in her hand, a mischievous pout adorning her face. Amidst this cascade of misfortune, he found himself blessed with another inhalation of her scent—a mesmerizing fusion of spices and flowers.
"That's for breaking my flask."
And before he could even process her words, she thrust him into the abyss.