Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters of the witcher. Those are property of Mr Sapkowski and I using Netflix series canon mixed with the books, but this is an alternate take of it.

Warning : Blood, anxiety, depression, sickness. Emotional and physical whump. Contains a death scene

Notes : Stick with me on this one. This can be a little tripy. And don't let you fool. There is a happy ending, somehow.

Thank you for those who fav and follow and those who are speaking to me in pm.

Chapter 9 : Once upon a time

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Ciri woke up in panic. It has been so long she hadn't one of those vision that terrified her. Loosing a family member.

###

Jaskier was sitting in the darkness spot of his cell. He was playing with a little flat stone, the size of a coin, and humming to himself. Rats were running in the shadows near the walls, eating from time to time in his untouched plate. There was blood on his clothes. Some was his. Some was not. He wished he could cry but somehow he had no tears left. He was just waiting for the deliverance.

A part of him was at peace. He had saved some people, reprising briefly his Sandpiper role a few weeks after his encounter with Black Cat. It was a very undercover work and done quietly, without him having to run from the authorities. Just informations he could pass to his old network members. The fun fact though was that no-one knew Black Cat had contacted him as he was reported dead just a few days after their encounter. He couldn't do much but he was proud of what he achieved. He had some news that several elves, gnomes and dwarves could flee further to the north before some intense raids. Also, he had warned the found family about the current situation, or hoped it worked. He used the coin Yennefer had given him as she told him to do. At least his conscience was less heavy on this part. And, the last thing he was proud of was to simply have been able to stay with Radovid almost to the end. He had fought every instincts he had to fly away and even if it was hidden in the shadows of their golden cage, he proved his love to his Red Rose...

Ironically, these were all the reasons of his downfall. His relation with Radovid had been discovered and linked in a twisted way to the other two points, to declare to king corrupted and order their executions. Assassinations to be precise. The coin he used to warn Yennefer was found and his magical nature was proved easily, so he was accused of witchcraft. And then his Sandpiper role was dug out of old registers from Dijkstra. He was an enemy of the kingdom. He was perverting the king. They used that to made him the perfect culprit of Radovid's assassination first.

The worst part... They made him watch as they killed him. They created the proof he was the murderer, forcing the knife they used to kill his Red Rose in his hand, and to kneel in the pool of blood growing around the body. They created fall witnesses with servants, too afraid to die to say the truth. And then, after some unceremonious beating, they put him in jail to rot during a trial he wasn't even a part of, waiting for his execution.

He didn't care anymore. He just wanted this nightmare to end.

To his surprise, silent death was what waited for him too. He had first believe that his execution would be public. The great poet Jaskier, secret lover of King Radovid, being executed for witchcraft, corruption and murder. What a title ! But queen Elois had pleaded for a more discreet ending. She didn't want the very indiscreet light the whole story could bring on her, especially what happened in her bed, or more so what didn't... He could understand. He also guessed the pressure coming from Temeria. But in a way, he would have preferred to be publicly killed, so we could have the chance to scream to the world and maybe do something good of his last moments. But now his death would be the painful mirror of the beginning of his life. Alone. Unseeing. Unwanted. What a shame...

###

Finally the day arrived. The guards came, restrained his wrists in chains in front of him. They put him on his knees in the middle of his cell. He saw the garrotter with his blade approaching and then positioned himself in his back. He had not been afraid to die until that very moment. When he wished he had a little bit more to... be. He didn't close his eyes. He clenched his jaws and fists, trembling, not knowing when the blade would cut his head off.

But everything turned into pure chaos. He didn't see the portal opening somewhere in his back but he heard it. Then, there were screams, and metal against metal sounds. He was pushed to the ground and he curled into a ball, as much as he could, to prevent being trampled on. He closed his eyes and waited...

The last body dropped in a muffled thud next to him and all went silent for a minute. Then he heard a familiar deep voice that sent shivers down his spine. He didn't resist when strong hands lifted him up. He didn't want to look though, so he kept his eyes closes.

- "Is he hurt ?" Said another voice he knew. The delicate one of a lost cintran princess. A destined child.

- "It seems but we will access the damages at home." His white wolf replied.

He was helped to move forward and he felt the passage in the portal. Ice cold like a waterfall on his shoulders. Then the wind. The pure cold air. He dared to open his eyes when he felt the sun on his skin. The light was a bit to strong for his sensitive eyes that were now accommodated to the darkness from his detention days.

He looked at his liberators. Ciri and Geralt were standing there helping him to stay up and looking at him with concern.

- "Yennefer found you but I did the portal. Mine are not detectable. There are too different apparently." The young woman smiled sadly. "Are you ok ?"

No he wasn't. He wasn't at all. He nodded in silence though. He didn't want to explain.

- "Yennefer will remove the chains." She added.

Geralt invited him to walk. He obeyed.

They were in a glade in a forest and they took a small path between the trees. They had to slow down for him to follow. His limp was still strong and he didn't eat much during the last few days so he was weak as a new born. They finally arrived to a small house hidden in the vegetation. Yennefer was walking nervously back and forth in front of it. She ran toward them when she noticed their presence.

- "They were about to execute him." Stated Geralt. "We arrived just in time."

- "You didn't..." Replied Jaskier with a raspy voice, stopping at once. This was his very first words in days.

They looked at him, and Yennefer approached to unlock his shackles. Geralt cleared his throat as the bard behaviour was making everyone nervous.

- "There is a lot of dry blood on his clothes. I don't know how bad he is hurt."

- "I'll take a look. Come inside." The sorceress replied, inviting him to follow her, but he didn't move. "Jaskier ?"

- "Why did you save me ?" He asked looking at the ground.

- "We risked our live to come to get you." Said Geralt annoyed. "You are still blocked on the fact that I refuse to see you die, years ago. This is the same. You're my friend, Jaskier. I don't want you to die if I can help it. This is as simple as that."

No, it was not. He could hear the lie in his voice. Yennefer put a hand on the witcher's arm to calm him down. The bard began to laugh softly.

- "I always wanted to be free. I ran from my bloodline as soon as I could. I ran the Continent next to you because it was my dreamed life overall. I ran from a lot of things in general. I always thought I had the choice. The choice to get the life I wanted and it included the end of my own story. But the truth is that I just ran in circle, because they were right. I was born a defect."

- "Who are they ? What defect ?" Asked Ciri approaching. He ignored her, or so she believed.

- "You know, something unbelievable happened to me. I had found reciprocal love. I never thought I could. I found a man that could accept how weird I am, that could see the world like me and, most of all, who could understand that I loved him completely while I couldn't stop loving you. He accepted me as a whole. Can you believe that ?" He smiled sadly and the listened. "You wouldn't understand how our story was built. It was a dream come true, quite literally... So for him, I accepted to stop running and to live in his cage. Me in a cage. Can you imagine ?" He laughed. "Of course, I was not happy, but as soon as we could share a moment I was feeling alive. Like I had never been before. I guess I should thank you for that, because by saving me you gave me the opportunity to have a taste of this... We had our space to exist, our universe, out of this crazy world we were not meant to be born in. But, that man is dead and I was about to join him. Find peace at least... You saved me again. Now tell me, why should I thank you, now that I have to live without him ?"

- "We love you, Jaskier. We didn't mean to hurt you, really." Said Yennefer. "You're family. We are all hurt by life. We have lost so much. We don't want to lose you too." She came closer, putting her gloved hands on his arms. He shivered. "You can escape the world with us and take time to mourn properly. Take the time to think. And please let us help you."

- "Do I have the choice at this point ?" He muttered looking away.

They didn't answer. So he let them do what they wanted. And he just stopped... He didn't try to make his point anymore and he obeyed to what ever they wanted him to do. Fighting would not help anyway. Like the child he was once remembered, after so many corrections he received for bad behaviour : give them what they want and someday one window would open for him to fly out.

So he became that surface good boy he played a long time ago.

###

He was taken inside to receive some healing. Yennefer treated his more recent wounds. There was not much to do. The cuts that bled had closed by themself during in detention. Most of the blood came from Radovid. They didn't comment on that, understanding that this was a very painful subject.

During the next days, the sorceress tried to improve his motion, treating his old scars - things that she couldn't do the last time they met as she was in a bad shape herself and they left quickly after his rejection. She did quite well overall, even if healing was not her forte. His limp was reduced significantly as she treated several layers of mangled flesh on his lower belly, freeing some of the nerves trapped in it. His shoulder too had a better range of motion after her magic.

But at this point, feeling better physically didn't help with his mind and heart. Yet he didn't tell them. They believed they helped, they were seeing results and seemed happy. So he faked everything, letting them praise him for progress they believed he was making. He faked smiles when they tried to sheer him up or they believed he should be.

One of their mojo was that he was given a chance to do more. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was supposed to live. But why Destiny was so kin to make him suffer like this ? The poet in him was silenced by sadness. The songs were barely just humming on his lips to keep his mind busy. And he didn't know what else he could be except those agonising parts of him.

He always hid to cry. And he did cry a lot. All the tears that didn't come when they should have. All the pain he was feeling inside but wouldn't dare now to share. All the seconds he was alive while his Red Rose wasn't.

Yet, the house wasn't bad. The place was quiet. The world was distant. He was with the found family. This could be worse, right ?

###

Months passed, more than a year even. And even if he wasn't healing from his loss, he found a place to be. He created a little garden near the house. He put wild flowers first and made them grow. Yennefer asked him to take care of herbs and vegetables for her when she realised he was very good at it. Ciri came sometimes. Geralt was looking from afar. They didn't understand the real meaning of this place for him. He suspected that the witcher did a little bit, as he was the most uncomfortable in this place.

He was pushing colours out over coherence of growing certain species together or not. He used this place to step out, let the mask fall and hide his down times. Ultimately this was the place from where he wanted to fade out as discreetly as possible... And he believed for a long time that he fooled them.

But one day, as he was in his garden, humming to his flowers, Geralt came. He stopped. The witcher sat on the ground near him. Jaskier knew he was ready to speak. His friend never embarrassed himself with any soft introduction went he came to it. So he braced himself to hear unpleasant things. The good side was that there was no delusion.

- "I know you believe I don't see. I know I don't understand everything that is going through your head. But..." He said after a long moment of silence. "You always stop singing when I am here. I hear you cry when you think we are too far away. I see the marks the tears leave on your skin, even after you dry them. I hear you gasp and moan when you sleep, dreaming of him. I see the shadow on your eyes when you fake smiles. I don't understand what I did wrong but I know you are still depressed as fuck."

Jaskier laughed dryly.

- "Does it matter ?"

- "Yes."

- "Why ?"

- "Because all my life I believed I was just a mutant, not worth much than the strength of my arm. You brought light into my heart after decades of depression. You changed my life, Jaskier. In so many ways. You brought many changes I had a hard time to accept. But from those changes I have now everything I had dreamt of. This is a hard life and often not a happy one, but you are part of that dream because you made it possible. You pushed yourself in my life for more than twenty years before I accepted fully what you gave me. We are pushing ourself the same way into yours for the same reasons, I think... I see you falling into the same pit I was so many years ago, and I don't know how to make you look up at the light. I don't understand what I did wrong... I don't understand why you can't forgive me... So you can look up..."

- "First of all, I did forgive you a long time ago, because I know why you did what you did. This doesn't mean I have to accept my faith. The problem is that you don't want to see the flaws behind your actions. But I am sure deep down you know."

- "What flaws ?"

He didn't want to speak about it, as for him words were as real as the feeling. Telling things were just stabbing himself in the heart. But Geralt made all the way to him. He couldn't reject him this time. This wouldn't be fair. So he verbalise his thoughts the simplest way he could. The witcher was clever but he didn't like people speaking around the point for too long.

- "You broke my trust, Geralt. You promised to a dying man. One that you call friend... And you left me behind. That was the worst thing you could do to me... and you know it."

The witcher sighed.

- "You were dying and I had to find Ciri. I couldn't stay..."

Again that hint of lie in his voice. So he pushed.

- "There is a difference between not staying and abandon. You didn't even wait to know what was my faith. You stepped away and left me in the middle of nowhere. Even Regis knew that would kill me if I survived the ordeal. He tried to make me believe you didn't abandoned me in a letter he wrote in my notebook." There was no anger in his voice, just fatality.

- "So that's what he did before we left."

- "See Geralt, you never ever asked him... You can't make me believe now that I am a real part of your life. This is cruel."

- "But you are..." The witcher was taken aback. Now Jaskier could here sincerity. "The truth is that I couldn't bare to see you die. I couldn't even think about it. Regis, he understood that too. And when we were in our way to find Ciri, he reluctantly said positive things so I could keep going. I broke several time, on the road, panicking at the idea you could die. You have no idea how hard it was... And then seeing all our companions die, one after another, before I could get to Ciri and Yennefer..." There were tears to the witcher's golden eyes. The bard could feel his pain. "There were all people you gathered around me when I was so adamant on going alone. I am sure you saw something that I couldn't and you make it all possible again. But if you had been with them, you would have died too. I couldn't protect any of them." His voice dropped. "But I guess, you are right on one thing. I couldn't face your death and I stole if from you..."

Jaskier smiled, maybe sincerely for the first time since he was here.

- "Thank you." He whispered.

- "What ?"

- "Now I can believe you. You always take the long road but when you let things out, you let them out for good."

- "I am not sure I understand you."

- "Oh yes you do, big wolf. I know you do."

Jaskier returned to his flowers, leaving Geralt in a deep state of confusion.

###

The opened hearted conversation made a difference. Radovid's death wasn't more bearable but staying with the found family was. He was still hiding himself in the garden, but it lost progressively the graveyard connotation he attached to it. The other members of the found family felt more welcome and came more often to share some moments with him there. Also he found unexpected inspiration, as if the muses were speaking to him again. So he began to write. He spent so many hours during the spring and the summer, writing in the middle of his flowers, until he finished the story...

###

Jaskier was lying on his back, eyes closed, listening to the birds singing in the trees around, enjoying the soft breeze and the light piercing through the leaves. His hands were playing in the dirt. His notebook was on his belly and he was crying in silence. He heard soft feet approaching. He didn't try to hid his tears.

- "Are you ok ?" Asked Ciri, stopping in front of him.

- "As always, princess." He replied. He opened his eyes to look at her.

- "You are crying."

- "That's because this is the end of my story. The end of a story is always sad. This one, was harder to finish than others. But this is also a happy one, I guess."

- "What is it about ?" She sat next to him and he sat up, catching his notebook as he fell from his belly.

- "This is the story of a magical garden where two flowers fell in love with each other."

- "Hmm. You really like flowers, don't you."

- "Yes..."

- "So those two flowers are you and Geralt, I guess ?" She had a crooked smile. Jaskier laughed softly.

- "No, I am one of the flower but Geralt can't be."

- "But I thought..."

- "Geralt never fell in love with me."

- "So the other flower is... the other man. The one in the shed you were sleeping with, that day ? The one you are crying for ?"

- "Yes. His name was Radovid. Whatever history will hold against him, whatever the world will turn to be, I want you to know he was a good man." More tears rolled down the poet's cheeks. "This story is ours." His hands caressed the notebook on his lap.

- "Can you read it to me ?"

- "If you can bear me crying..."

Ciri came closer and leaned against his shoulder, passing her arms around his waist, in a weird side hug. He opened his notebook around the last third and began to read.

Once upon a time...

###

He had tried his best as a king, but once again things had slipped off his hands. The world was plunging rapidly in a horrifying and an almost feverish madness. He tried to hide his growing concerns about his future to Jaskier. But he was too much of an empath to be fooled. They decided to cling to each other, bracing for the events they knew would come.

When he saw the dream traveller in his garden, that day, he knew something bad would happened.

It was in the early autumnal season. The trees were paint in many colours and the roses were red, as always. The time stopped, fixing leaves floating in the wind in their motion. The cloaked lady sat next to him.

- "Why are you here ?" He asked, suspicious.

- "To tell you that you made it."

- "You mean, save Jaskier ?" She nodded. "Whatever happens next, he will live ?"

- "Yes. He will be saved." She confirmed.

- "But... I don't have a future with him, right ?" Radovid was smelling the bad turn this conversation was taking from miles away.

- "I am sorry..."

- "Will he be happy at least ?" His voice shook.

- "Not really. But he will accomplish great things. Things he was born to achieve."

The cloaked lady looked at him and removed her hood, revealing white hair and an ageless face, with big green eyes. An ugly scar crossed one of her cheek.

- "Are you ..." Begun Radovid surprised.

- "Yes... I am Ciri. The lion cub of Cintra, if you know me better with this tittle."

- "How did you do all this ? You were like a ghost... The shadows. Everything seemed so strange."

- "I have ancient powers, given by my bloodline, but I was trapped by demons from another sphere. Life was very hard for me at that time and they used it against me, fooling me into believing they could make things better. But all they do is destroy. The trap was vicious. They change something that could prevent me to rise against them, as it was what I should have been and so, I became like them... somehow. I was in their elsewhere with no body to travel to this world anymore. That's why I appeared to you that way."

- "That thing they changed ? It was Jaskier, wasn't it ?"

- "Yes... In the most strange way, though. And it was very hard to counter what they did. I acted against it way too late... But you know, some things are linked by strange invisible strings and when they are cut, the veil of history just reaps open. I realized what I had become when all was lost. When the dark age had engulfed the Continent and they wanted me to open the gate to let them roam on every spheres... When I decided to restore what was lost, I though I was the only one who could travel in between the worlds. But there were one old demon that possessed those kind of powers too, without the capacity to make the other go through, and I discovered they were the one disturbing history in the first place. Seanchai, the storykeeper, they liked to call themself. They were who destroyed my past and a part of the human race's future using a simple man who cannot resist a story. They did it carefully and insidiously. They manipulated him, giving him an ancient tale he shouldn't have known about. He wrote a song he shouldn't never have to, and doing so, they changed the path he had to take... just slightly it seemed. But it had rippled effects leading to his death... Funny how, he is just a human, you know, but what he does change the life of thousands, if not more. And some of those lives are linked to Destiny, like mine... What was done was almost irreversible. The dark age cannot be avoided but if I could change the course of my life, I could change a part of what I have done and prevent more destruction, just by saving him."

- "But how did you know ?"

- "Seanchai was indeed a story keeper. So they told me a piece of what was destroyed from him, and I ended up having a vision of an alternate history. Destiny again. I just had a glimpse and it changed me. It stayed with me like a vague dream. A story from another time where there was light and love in people's heart. A memory of having him singing me songs to help me sleep, and telling me fairytales to keep the nightmares at bay. This was an alternate timeline where I used the gifts he gave me to get over some sad events. Sad events that made me that ghost when I lost him... So I fought back and found the last link to my past, still movable, to change things back. It was you. An odd circumstance. A side effect of the initial twist. A love that shouldn't have happened. But a love that could save him."

- "Is that just what I am then ?" Radovid asked with tears in the voice.

- "To him, you were everything."

- "Were ?"

- "It is too late. This is over. I just wanted to tell you that he loved you and that from your love will bloom the most beautiful flowers." She smiled but had tears in her eyes.

- "But... Jaskier... How ? Will he ... I need to..." Radovid's heart was racing now.

- "He will know. Just look at him. He will know."

The next second, Ciri wasn't there, the wind blew, the leaves danced with it, and the sounds rushed back to him. He heard a scream. This was Jaskier. He just had the time to turn his head and their eyes locked. The bard was bloodied but he couldn't see where this came from. There were guards restraining him. Radovid stood up and tried to move but a strong arm came from behind and a cold blade sliced his throat before he could pronounce any word. The pain was strangely bearable on the moment but then his world exploded. He heard Jaskier scream his name again and again and he fell back on the bench before rolling down on the grass. His hand went instinctively to the gapping wound from where his life was flowing. He had a thought for his brother who died the same way and was lying under the red roses parterre not too far away. And then he saw what they did to his wildflower.

They forced him on his knees, next to him, they put the knife in his trembling hand and they forced him to watch him die. He wanted to tell him he loved him but he couldn't speak. He couldn't breath. But as the dream traveller said, he saw the love on his eyes. He knew...

###

Everything was dark. He was lying in sea of red petals. Radovid sat up and touched his throat. He had no wound. He was alive. The dream traveller appeared next to him, smiling.

- "Welcome back, Red Rose".

- "Am I not dead ?" He asked.

- "It depends."

- "What do you mean ?"

- "Some story never dies, as some enchanted flowers..."

Ciri invited him to get up, giving her hand. When he took it, a hot breeze blew and the red petals danced in it around them. They painted another place in a tornado of red snow. She moved forward and him with her. The darkness surrounding them vanished as they were going through that floral soft tempest. On the other side, there was sun, green grass, trees and birds. Everything was too colourful, like Jaskier's inner world.

- "Where am I ?" He asked suspiciously.

- "We are where the story ends." Answered the young woman. "Where you should be."

She pointed a place not far away. There was someone leaning against a tree, seemingly sleeping, and a small house hidden in the shadows. Radovid walk to this person and his heart raced when he recognised him.

- "How ?" He asked more to himself. The bard opened his eyes and gasped.

- "Tell me you are finally here." He whispered.

Radovid kneeled next to him and with trembling hands touched his face.

- "It seems..."

- "I dreamed of you every night. I imagined so many gardens for you... my dear Red Rose. I waited so many years..."

Jaskier leaned forward and captured his lips. This felt so real. They separated for a brief instant. The bard's hands went up to his face, caressing him softly. And then he removed the crown on his head, like he used to do when they were alone in his castle, and he smiled. His eyes were pleading for more. But as Ciri approached, he didn't succumb.

- "Is he real ?" Asked Radovid, tearing up.

- "As much as you are. As much as they are."

She turned slightly toward the house. Geralt and Yennefer came out and saluted him from afar.

- "I didn't write the story. He did." She said looking down at Jaskier. "A simple love story between two flowers in a garden who shouldn't have met, but that death couldn't separate. We have eternity to be happy and no-one will break this. I promise."

Radovid smiled and let himself fall into the embrace of his bard. A red rose and a wild blue pansy free to love each other forever, in the dream of a young woman who never wanted more than a family.

FIN

So as this is the last chapter of this story, here are the main influences I used for this story :

- The Avalon Island where Ciri sends Geralt and Yennefer at the end : for me they are dead and when Ciri speaks about it, this is a way to cope. This place is name The Land of the Apple trees by Nimue who is another narrator of the story. I used the story as a vehicle and the metaphor of the garden for this afterlife place, but it is nested in dreams. In the end, the dream of Ciri who needs her whole family happy around her.

- I used a little bit of Doctor Who, with the River Song twist. The last day of her life last a lot longer and she is saved in the library. Ciri saved everyone when they died. Geralt and Yennefer you know when. Radovid when he is assassinated. Jaskier at the end of his life, after he published his stories to the world.

- I used a bit of the song Extraordinary Thing, with Jaskier never saying he loves people out loud but always says it anyway.

- And a bit of the song Enchanted Flower, because it never dies... Well, I made it just a little bit more Radskier this time lol.

- I used Seanchai as well and the demons that have no real physical form in the Continent Sphere. For me Seanchai is another demon and their motivation to five Jaskier the story of the 7 in BO are very not clear. So I made them a bad guy.

- There is also a lot of personal stuff about grieving and depression.

To conclude, I wanted to share a little bit of the chapter I dropped with had a lot of talking between Nelian and Jaskier about love and how she help him to keep going. She was the one that made the connection between his flower metaphor and his personal needs. So here it is, as if Jaskier told his story :

To grow beautiful flowers, you need the sun, the rain and the wind. But those are things that come from the sky. Things to look up at in admiration. But without the ground under their roots, no flowers would grow. This is what a little wild blue pansy learned from an old druid while resting in her garden.

That wildflower was born in a dark corner of a cold castle and thought it was a bird. It tried all its life to fly to reach the sky to touch those divine elements it loved. But it was burned, thorned and drenched, until it ended up under the shadows of some red roses parterre, in another garden. His roots intertwined with one of them, a sad one who hadn't find its way to freedom. And those flowers which nothing should have bring together found love.

Sometimes you have to look down to see the soil you are on to grow further to the sky.

See you soon 😈