~Eight Years Ago~
Winning the games was supposed to be the best possible thing someone like me could ever achieve. It was meant to bring me fame, glory, and riches. At least that's what the Capitolites promised. They told me how my family would get to move into a big new house; I couldn't help but think how much Cass would have loved to finally have his own room. But I'm quick to push any thoughts of Cass away, I refuse to think about him.
The people of the Capitol promised many things; peace, happiness, a big new house, and enough money to care for my family for the rest of our days. They lied.
It's a pretty dreary reception when the Capitol train finally arrives at District 10, storm clouds rolling in and an overcast grey sky blanket the area. And though there are many people from my District here to welcome me home, I do not see my family. My mother's not here clutching my father's arm, eyes desperately trying to garner if I'm actually here and alive. My father standing steadfast and stoic to most outsiders as they don't know how hard he's trying not to cry. My younger sister trying to jump up to get a better view of me in something she'd stolen from my drawer. These are the things I expected to see when I arrived home but instead it's just a crowd of basically strangers. I feel an overwhelming sense of dread settle inside of me, there's no good reason they wouldn't be here waiting for me, the only thing that would keep them away is if something terrible happened.
I'm quick to rush off the train, pushing through the people trying to congratulate me or offer sympathies, I barely hear them, I barely feel them as they try to reach out to me. I need to get home. I need to get to my family. I hope and wish that this is all some misunderstanding, that they got the time wrong or held up in some way, that I will make it home and they will all be there and okay, just sorry that they missed picking me up. It will be something we could joke about.
I try not to dwell on the thought that maybe they chose not to come greet me. Maybe they hate me for the things I did in the games, maybe they hate that I couldn't protect my little brother. Maybe they all wish he came home instead of me, that I died in the arena and saved him. That's what I wish too. They couldn't possibly hate me as much as I hate myself.
I was so lost in thought I nearly missed my own house... I go cold at the sight of the front door off its hinges. I rush through the doorway and call out for my family, hoping that anyone will answer. The first thing I notice is the blood, so much blood. I had seen more than enough blood in the games to last me a lifetime, and yet now I am being forced to see even more. My parents, my poor parents, this wasn't supposed to happen to them. I drop to my knees by their bodies and reach a shaking hand towards them, I rest it on my father's back. It seems he had tried to shield my mother to the best of his ability, but it didn't help. They're both gone. I reach forward and make sure their eyes are closed, now they kind of look like they're sleeping, that they're peaceful. But they weren't, and they never will be again.
"Cee...?" I hear a meek little voice call out, a sob of relief escapes me as I jump to my feet and pull my baby sister into my arms. I clutch her tight and kiss the top of her head before pulling back, I start desperately searching her for any sign of injury "Cee I'm fine, I promise. I hid under the bed when they..." she looks around me at our parents on the floor and I rush to turn her away, she shouldn't have to see that.
"What happened? Who did this?" I pull her back into our shared room and away from the horrifying sight. We sit together on our bed and she clutches desperately at her raggedy teddy.
"Some peacekeepers came, they said it was a punishment," she whispers.
"A punishment? Did Mami do something? Did Papi?" she's quick to shake her head.
"They weren't punishing us, they were punishing you."
My hand freezes where it had been rubbing her back as my eyes shoot to hers. Why? Why would they be punishing me? I did what they wanted, acted like a silly show pony and entertained them. I won the games, none of this was meant to happen.
"They said you cheated, and that couldn't go unpunished. That others would start cheating and breaking the rules." She breaks down once she finishes speaking, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. I once again gather her up into my arms, this time rocking her gently and rubbing her back again. I try to murmur reassurances to her, but I don't think she hears them, or maybe she just doesn't believe them.
My mind drifts back to what she told me. Cheated? I just did whatever I had to to survive, to get home to my family, to avenge my brother.
They took my parents from us because I didn't play their dumb little games exactly how they wanted? How dare they?
They destroyed my home, my family.. that is something that shall not go unpunished. I don't know how but I will get revenge on those that did this, I will avenge my parents, and I will not rest until I see the Capitol burn with President Snow and all those who wronged me dead amongst the ashes.
…..
~Now~
~Time seems to pass so slowly when we are apart. How do you manage to focus on anything? Everytime I try to get things done I am distracted by thoughts of you.
Perhaps I miss you so much as I have little to distract me when I am home. Right now I spend most of my days gardening. Vast numbers of flowers now adorn this empty home. I have also been growing some small crops and bundles of herbs. Success in that area has been less abundant. I doubt you want to hear me prattling on about my gardening endeavours. Or maybe you like hearing how dirty I have been getting. Nonetheless, I penned this letter to you for a reason, not just to ruminate and reminisce. Strangely I don't seem to recall what was so urgent that I had to rush home and write to you, I am hoping that as I write it will come back to me.
Rain has been quite plentiful lately, the District will have a lovely harvest this year.
Something I'm sure you already know. Ever so clever and informed you are, which I always found quite attractive. Ceaseless knowledge, cunning and wit was something I once found quite annoying. Usually it did not bode well, signs of deceit and mockery were normally sure to follow. Rarely have I met a man of your intelligence and standing that didn't make me want to run for the hills. Exhilaratingly these aspects of your personality make me want to better myself as much as I can lest you grow bored of me. Damn, I have run out of time and the reason for this letter still did not return, alas I guess you will just have to enjoy my prose on my adoration for you.~
Love from, Claudia.
I finish signing the letter and blow on it lightly to ensure it is dry before slipping it into the envelope. I quickly add the intended recipient on the stop of the envelope and add it to the pile. Though I'm not sure why I bothered with another letter to Haymitch, he's barely out of his cups enough to reply. Not that I blame him, I know if I didn't have something like revenge to focus on I'd probably be doing the same exact thing.
I need to mail these letters off as soon as possible, reapings are coming up in a few weeks time and I would like to get a response before then. Things are already getting quite busy here and we still have 22 days to go. The 73rd annual Hunger Games, I had hoped we wouldn't get this far. I never wanted things to take this long. But I learnt the hard way not to rush these things, to work smarter. Marcus was always one to say "Good things come to those who wait" it used to annoy me a lot, but now I can't help saying it to myself whenever I'm feeling a bit antsy and reckless.
I'm sure he would start feeling a bit frustrated if he were in my shoes. He hasn't had to sit around helplessly as children he promised to help kept dying before his eyes. I have watched 16 tributes go through those games and only one has made it out alive. Maybe this year will mark the second, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
"Welcome to the 73rd Annual Hunger Games"