I do not own Naruto
The next day, training ground 7
"Was that really the best mission to pick, Risu-sensei?" asked Naruto, clearly unhappy about their sensei's choice.
"D-ranks are training exercises. You'll have to do each mission at least once, so might as well started with something easy"
"I get it, but… helping out a retirement home? How is that going to help in our ninja career?"
"You three have the whole morning to figure it out, remember?"
He turned to the rest of his students
"Okay, to start with, I'll have you do some endurance and strength test to measure up your baseline, then I'll hand you a personalized training program based on your results. You will follow that program every morning before we meet up at the Hokage's tower and increase it in intensity as needed. I will check on your progress every now and then, so don't even think of exploiting the fact that I won't be there to check you to slack off. Now, start running."
Later, training ground 7
Risu-sensei had handed each of them a scroll with a list of exercises, told them to jump in the river if they wanted to wash off the sweat and given them 15 minutes to relax before the next part of the training. He was pleasantly surprised to see Sasuke pulling out a storage scroll with a change of clothes. The unsealing wasn't perfect, wasting a bit more chakra than he liked, but it was working.
"Good job on your fuinjutsu, Sasuke. I see you trained hard during your free time."
The Uchiha smirked, proud of his accomplishment.
"Now that you're rested a bit, it's time we started on your proper training. First up is tree climbing."
"Tree climbing?" asked Naruto
"What kind of training is that?" asked Sakura, skeptically
Risu smirked, walking over to a tree "Watch"
Risu started to walk vertically along the tree trunk, parallel to the ground, until he moved beneath a branch and sat cross-legged, upside down on the tree.
"Ah! That's the technique you used on the first day at the academy!" shouted Naruto, pointing at their sensei
"Correct!" smiled Risu "Now, to perform this exercise you have to gather up at the bottom of your feet, or in my case, at the part of my body in contact with the tree. You need to keep the chakra in that part of the body in order to remain attached to the tree. If you don't use enough chakra you won't stick and if you use too much you won't be able to remove your feet when you want to. If you push too much chakra too fast you won't get an adhesion force but a repelling one and you'll be launched away from the tree, which is part of a different exercise that I'm going to teach you another day. Now, each of you pick a tree and lay on the ground with your feet against the trunk. If you do this correctly you…"
"Yeow!" screamed Naruto, as he was propelled away from the tree
"And that's what happens if you push too much chakra too fast. Naruto, do it again but use about half that chakra in double the time."
"This is pretty easy." commented Sakura, who had already reached the top of the tree.
"Wow! you're great, Sakura-chan! That's the girl I put my confidence in!" screamed Naruto
Risu nodded in acknowledgement of both Sakura's accomplishment and Naruto's praise. "As expected, Sakura. You have the best chakra control among you three. Now, do it again but while running."
Sakura jumped down the tree, and followed Risu-sennsei's instruction.
"Good. Now, try jumping from branch to branch, tree to ground and so on. Try going from straight up to upside down to sideways, change your orientation with each jump."
This particular exercise took her a couple of attempts. She had some difficulties going from standing on the ground to hanging upside down under a branch. By the time she was finished, Naruto and Sasuke were taking their first few steps, slow but steady.
"Good job, Sakura. Boys, continue practicing, you're doing great. Sakura, while the others finish this exercise, I believe you're the only one in the team that has yet to make her storage scroll, right?"
Afternoon, in front of Konoha's retirement home
"Ok, hatchlings. Anyone has figured out what kind of training this mission is supposed to give you?"
"It teaches us how to take care of a wounded client?" suggested Sakura
"Not really, but good attempt"
"How to pass for a civilian during an infiltration mission?" asked Sasuke
"From that point of view, all D-rank missions do that. A good answer, but not what I was looking for"
"How to ignore old farts that throw insults at you for no reason?" proposed Naruto
Risu chuckled "Can't say no to that one, but not what i was thinking. No, this mission is supposed to teach you how to gather information in a subtle way without attracting attention."
He turned to his genin, pulling out the picture of a man in his 50's, with an unkept beard, receding hairline and a large belly. "This man is Iruko Takahashi. He is just a simple civilian, but for this exercise we're going to pretend that he is the target that we have to gather information about." He pulled out a second picture of a much older man. "This is Arashi Takahashi, Iruko's father. He is a guest at this retirement home." he put the two pictures away. "Your objective is to gather as much information about Iruko as possible without drawing attention to your mission. Of course, you'll still have to complete the mission to help out the retirement home, because if you fail to do that, your cover will be blown." He opened his hand, revealing three tiny centipedes. "These three will monitor your progress and give me a full report on how you handled yourself. Naruto, you are the team leader for this mission. Listen to your teammate's suggestion and be open to their criticism, but once you make a decision, stick with it. Do not disappoint me."
The blonde nodded, but still shivered when the centipede crawled on top of his head.
"What will you do, sensei?" asked Sasuke
"I'll be collecting information about the target in a different way, showing how a professional spy can find alternative ways to get their information. Once you finish the mission, we will compare information and, should you have enough information to impress me, I'll pay for your dinner. If you don't complete your D-rank, you fail and you'll be doing push-ups while being smothered by centipedes. If people start to suspect you might be gathering information about Iruko Takahasi, you fail and you'll be doing push-ups while being smothered by centipedes. If you don't get enough useful information, you'll be doing this mission again tomorrow until you do."
Naruto started to drool at the prospect of free ramen, while Sakura paled at the mention of being smothered by centipedes.
"Why don't we fail if we don't get enough information?" asked Sasuke
"Because information gathering missions are always long-term ones. If you don't get the information the first time, so long as your cover hasn't been blown, you can try again another day."
Sasuke nodded. So, their mission ended either when the information was either recovered or when it had become impossible to do so. It made sense.
"Ok team, let's beat sensei and get all the information we can! 'ttebayo!"
The team approached the front desk of the retirement house, Risu-sensei approaching one of the nurses
"Good day, miss. We received a mission from the Hokage to assist you in taking care of the residents. I'm Risu and these are my genin."
The nurse smiled. "Welcome, mister Risu. Your genin can start immediately"
"Certainly they can. Do you have a list of the residents so they can split them equally among them?"
"Give me a second." After a few seconds, the nurse offered the jonin a list of the residents.
Risu glanced at it, before gesturing to his students to take it.
"There you go. split the list in three and get to work."
As Naruto was about to take it, Risu took it back.
"On second thought, I better divide it myself. Kami knows I can't give you three a reason to squabble. Naruto, you take from the first name on the list to…here. Sasuke, you take care of everyone from Shinji Momo to… here and Sakura, you take all the residents from…Arashi Takahashi until the bottom of the list."
He turned to the nurse "Would you be so kind as to give us the room number of these three?"
The nurse smiled and complied. Risu then handed over the list to Naruto, without taking his eyes away from the nurse. "No scram. Say, my dear, I haven't seen you around these parts… are you new to Konoha? I could show you around if you'd like…"
The trio dashed away from their sensei
"That was shameless." commented Sakura
"Uh? what do you mean, Sakura-chan?" asked a confused Naruto
"The way he tried to flirt with that nurse."
"I think it was pretty clever. She was so focused on sensei I think she has already forgotten our faces" commented Sasuke
"It was still shameless. Plus, the nurse was pretty obviously not into him." huffed Sakura
Naruto led the trio to the second floor, to mister Arashi's room. As he opened the door, they were shocked. The beeping of the heart monitor being far too slow, the artificial lung puffing rhythmically and the multiple tubes going down the man's throat were an obvious indication: Arashi Takahashi, the man they needed to get information from, had been in a coma for a long time.
"Damn it!" cursed Naruto under his breath
"That certainly complicates things." agreed Sasuke. Did sensei know the man was in a coma? Of course he did, he had pictures of both targets at the ready. That was just another part of the exercise: what to do when your primary source of information is compromised. Sensei had planned this from the start. And now, he was busy with his own investigation. The three of them were on their own with a compromised source, yet sensei expected them to complete the exercise regardless. He smirked. This sounded like an actual challenge, for once.
"Now what?" asked Sakura
Sasuke looked at Naruto, waiting for his blonde teammate to say something.
"Well… we can ask around. I mean…someone must have seen Iruko around every time he visits his father, right?" Naruto wasn't sure, but that sounded like a better plan than sit by and do nothing. Besides, even if they couldn't get the information, they still had to maintain their cover.
"What do you suggest?" asked Sakura
Naruto frowned. "Dunno… let's split up and see what we can get from the people on this floor, then we can share what we found in… 30 minutes?"
"Sounds good." nodded Sasuke before heading towards the closest door
Two hours later, in front of Konoha's retirement home
Risu recovered his centipedes from the three genin and closed his eyes for a few seconds. He opened his eyes and looked at his genins
"Well, hatchlings, it seems like you didn't fail the mission. Naruto, next time you should make a plan before entering the target's room. Sasuke, you were a bit too brazen with your questions. No one suspected anything, but you should aim for a bit more subtlety. Now, Naruto, what information do you have?"
Naruto smiled "Iruko visits his father every other sunday, spends about twenty minutes with his father and another five with the nurse. A few of the residents think he might have a crush on a nurse called Haku Hitsugaya, but many others don't agree with it. He has two kids, but they only visit during the holidays, and never with the mother, since she's dead."
Risu nodded. "Good enough. He is actually divorced, not a widower. He does not have a crush on Haku Hitsugaya, the two have been dating for quite some time and have moved in together two weeks ago. I'm not impressed about the information you gathered, but you did obtain some good information, so… you passed the exercise. No more missions at the retirement home."
"Yatta! We did it!" exclaimed Naruto, jumping in the air.
"Now, now, little hatchling, I promised I would show you another way to get information. Well, check this out." He handed them a small folder on their target
"These are… medical records?" asked Sakura "How did you get them?"
"I wonder… how do you think I got them?"
"Did you seduce the nurse and convince her to give you the files?" asked Naruto, unconvinced
"You watch too many movies, Naruto. While it's possible to obtain information like this, its success rate is abysmally low."
"Did you put her under a genjutsu?" offered Sasuke
"I could have. I didn't, but that was plan B"
"Did you… steal the key from the archives and got… no, why would a retirement home have the medical records of someone who doesn't live there?" mumbled Sakura
"Close enough. The medical records nowadays are all digital and can be accessed from any computer connected to the healtcare network. The only thing you need to enter the database is the access code. By pretending to shamelessly flirt with the nurse she opted to simply ignore me and acted like I didn't exist. I was able to exploit that fact to look at her typing the access code and memorize it. At that point, it was just a matter of finding a computer connected to the printer and… done."
Risu smiled. "Now, let's get back to the training field. You two have trees to climb and Sakura needs to finish her storage scroll."
Notes
As you might have noticed, I made a slight alteration to how the tree walking exercise works. I searched for something that wasn't in total contraddiction with canon while at the same time solving one of the small things that really bothered me. Like if too few chackra doesn't make you stick and just enough it sticks, too much chakra should make you stick too much, not do the exact opposite of what it should do