p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"strongspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Chapter 1/span/strong/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I cause no harm, mind my business./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"If our love died young, I can't bear witness/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"And it's been so long/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"But if you ever think you got it wrong /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"I'm right where you left me/span/emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"{right where you left me- Taylor Swift}/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"1959/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Moonshine kissed the walls, painting shadows in the cracks. He glanced at the cold silver object in his hand. Fingers curled around the trigger. Salty streams ran down his cheeks. He had nothing left, nothing. His father tore it apart. He would take him from his friends, from Todd, from acting. The last things he seemed to cling onto. His father will always have control over him. He couldn't escape, he felt the pressure crushing him slowly. They would all be better off without him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He imagines a tear-stained face, milky white skin against the snow. Quivering lips, oxygen trying to escape between wails. He can't explain what made him lower it from his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He didn't need his father to live his life. He could just leave, they wouldn't care. His parents, his friends. How could they? He almost did the most despicable thing, he was told, he could do. So, he packed his only belongings and left. Shoes crunching on snow as he headed into the night./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"1966/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Rushing out of his apartment, his stomach grumbled in retaliation. Speckles of rain collected in his mousy hair. Filthy streets shuffled beneath his worn-in boots, the cold seeping through its cracks. The bags under his eyes protruded his face. The once refreshing air breathed stale now. He buries his face deeper into the fabric of his scarf. The bitter air was making his nose run. He was certainly a vision. The light freckles he had in summer that dusted his nose were gone. As he continued down the crowded streets of Manhattan in the bitter weather of late October, his hands reached into his coat to feel for the script. emRomeo and Juliet. /emA tinge of nostalgia nips at him. Teeth clung to his bottom lip like a ravenous animal. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The grimy pavement of the sidewalk led right to the theatre. An old building crumbling down, but in a charming way. It was adamantly named emThe Globe Manhattan Theatre./em Unlike the one in England, this one was much smaller and in New York City. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His steps slow as he nears the front doors. Shaking out his hands, hoping to relieve the tension. The job was a favor from his publisher and adamant best friend, Cecilia. Her girlfriend was directing, and they needed another producer. Although it seemed like she just wanted the author to get out more. Have something to do to get new inspiration for his poetry. After his first book had been published, he'd been stuck in a writer's slump. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Walking into the theatre makes him feel a rush for something unnamable. Like the days before his world seemed to stop. The bleary haze of the past few years is behind him. He feels a warmth encompassing his body. Like coming home after a long day in the chillier months of the city. Not that he ever goes out, liking to stay in the comfort of his apartment. This was probably the most he'd been outside in the last month. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The lobby's walls covered in faux velvet paints an elegant picture, if you ignore the stains and rips present in them. An arched ceiling greets him; chipped gold accents paint the edges as if they'd been piped with icing. Old heaters can be heard, faintly. Buzzing the air with a comfortable hum. Faint footprints of damp shoes lead towards a door farther down the hall. It must be where their meeting, he concurred. A noise a larger set of doors catches his attention. Past them concealed the stage below./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanA figure stands. A young man, laughter echoing even to where Todd stood in the back. He seemed to be doing a monologue on stage. Todd slinks closer, mesmerized by the familiar sounds. The man takes a faux bow. His heart rate picks up as the mysterious man's full profile comes into view. emHe was here…on the stage/em. The face he saw every time his eyes closed at night. Haunting his every waking moment of the past 7 years. The only difference was the more mature features. What really solidified that it was him was someone saying his name./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #333333; background: white;""Aw man, not again. There Neil goes, already monologuing."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"As if he feels Todd's eyes on him, the figure turns. Chestnut eyes meet cerulean blue. That's when he knows it's really him. emIt was Neil. /emTodd feels a heavy weight collapse on his chest. A reminiscent ache in his stomach clenchedem. It couldn't be him./em Todd needed to leave, now. Bile threatened to come up. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He tries to leave unnoticed, but his vision is blurred by brimming tears. He pushes past the crew entering the theatre. A woman whose name he doesn't know stops him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""You alright there?" She asks. He doesn't remember what he answered back. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He knew it wasn't a good idea to do this/span/emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His high-strung pants are indistinct over the honking cars. He prays no one follows him out. He always felt a little more winded when walking for long periods of time, but he chalks it up to his age. A ripe 24 years old. Nothing to do with his habit of always having a cigarette in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe needed to call Cecilia. This wouldn't work. A phone was found inside a café two blocks away from the theatre. An impatient buzz fills his nerves. While the line rings, he shakily lights a cigarette. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Hey hon, what up? You never call this early" Cecilia's voice rings in his ears. A hint of her faded southern twang comes out. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I quit" Todd states. The line stays quiet, knowing Todd will continue. He exhales another breath of smoke before continuing. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""The play, i-it's too much, okay. I'm just not ready" his voice practically pleading. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Bullshit, Todd. It hasn't even been a day" she snaps back. "You've haven't given it a chance yet. This will be good for you. You know getting out, interacting. Maybe you could even make some friends."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I have friends" he grunts, flicking ash off his cigarette. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Not including myself or Charlie or Knox" He lets out a sigh. Todd knew Cecilia wanted what was best for him. Staying inside emwas/em comfortable for him. But sometimes he needed her to push him out of that comfort zone, into the fresh air. Well, as fresh as the city air could get. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The only thing he missed about Vermont was the nature that seemed to surround everywhere you went. Taking a walk through a forest always gave him inspiration. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""You haven't even tried going. I know it starts at 8 and its only… 8:16!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I know, I know, it's just…" His heart picks up just at the recollection of the ghost haunting his past and now present being there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Hey, hon. I don't mean to be cross at you" she could tell his tone had turned more panicked. She lets out an exasperated sigh. Something very common on her phone calls with Todd. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I have a meeting but after, I'm coming to your apartment. We need to figure this out." Cecilia could tell there was something going on without even seeing his face. Something only one person had been able to do before. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Thank you, thank you." He exhales, leaning his head style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Just being a good publicist" she mumbles before hanging up the phone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnother guzzle of wine hits his throat. The taste brings tartness to his palette. There's a swirl of smoke trailing from the bud between his fingers. A habit he picked up when writing his first poetry book. His foot impatiently taps against the floor. It's 10 am. Maybe too early for a drink but he needed it. The feeling of the wine glass in his hand grounded him. He never drank, keeping his liquor at the back of the cabinet. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He glanced at the antique clock on his wall. emTick, tick/em. She said she'd get here around 10. Not that Todd cared if she was a few minutes late, he was just on edge. For many other reasons. Reasons his mind hadn't lingered on in 7 years. The impenetrable wall he'd built up now felt like it was chipping. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanA knock at the door startles Oscar, his tabby cat who was busy rubbing against his leg. It's unnecessary for her to knock but she always did. No one else bothered to come by. Also, she had a key following an incident in which he didn't answer her calls or knocks for a week after his book came out. A jangle in the keyhole sounds and the door swings open. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Even without facing her, he can tell just what expression is on her face. The face of a scolding but still concerned older sister. She was the right age that she could've been. He only has experience with an older brother. One whose companionship depleted as soon as puberty hit. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He hadn't talked to him since Jeffery's wedding that June. There was no talk of his book, the subject being too taboo for his family. Jeff was civil and shook his hand, a starch smile blinding his face. Todd wanted to be angry at Jeff for the continuous degradation his parents directed at him from an early age because of him. But he didn't have it in him to be angry at Jeff. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He didn't bring a date. His parents wouldn't approve of anyone he would've wanted to bring away. He planned it to be the last time he saw them. He just had to handle their disapproval and disappointment in his life choices for one last weekend. He cut them off after the wedding. He should've done it earlier but stayed for Jeff's sake. Slowly, Jeff was turning more and more like their parents, so he decided it was best to cut contact. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Todd Anderson. Are you really drinking this early? And of course, you're smoking as well" She scoffs and pushes through his apartment. Grabbing a wine glass from his mostly barren cupboard. She plops down in a second-hand armchair. Oscar, knowing that Cecilia usually gives him treats when she's over, made his way to her. She snatches the bottle from the table and pours herself a rather large amount of wine. Todd raises his eyebrows at her. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Gene is really getting on my nerves at work… So are you, don't you forget it." She says the last part teasingly. He puts his hand holding the cigarette up in surrender. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"There's a quiet silence wafting through his apartment. The windows closed. Muffling the busy noises of a late morning in Manhattan. He looks out at the rain falling outside. When he looks back, her gaze is already on him. Blue eyes stare into blue. An inconceivable expression on her face. Thin eyebrows squished, lips pouting in thought. Honey blond hair spun in hastily done curls pulled from her face with two clips. She relaxes deeper in her seat. Knit pencil dress scrunched as her legs crossed. Her stare unnerves Todd, and he turns away, taking a sip of his wine. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Neil was there" he confesses like it's the most casual thing in the world. He can see her from the corner of his eye barely manage to hold back a choke. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Like…emyour/em Neil?" She manages to get out. He doesn't remember when he told Cecilia about Neil. But she knew everything about their whole…situation./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""He's not mine" emHe never was/em./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Not the way you describe him" She raises him an eyebrow. His expression is blank, and Cecilia decides it's not the best time to joke with him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Shit, Todd. That's…" She puts her head in her hands. Todd takes another long swig, having to refill his glass afterwards. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Are you sure it was him? I mean it's been 7 years, maybe-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I know it was him. I know…" His mind is a tornado of emotions. He feels like sobbing, screaming, and jumping up and down all at once. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His glass is now abandoned on the coffee table. "God, he's such an asshole" Cecilia spats. He was an asshole for leaving, yeah but there wasn't any reason for him to stay in contact with Todd or tell him where he was. He'd chalked that up to Neil not feeling the same way as him. I mean, Todd had known him for 4 months when they were still 17. You don't keep all the friends you have when you're that age. Or maybe Neil hadn't cared enough to reach out to style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""It's just, him leaving has been controlling you for the past 7 years. You never leave your apartment; you never date or try to make any friends. You're here wallowing in this loneliness. I have a real bone to pick with him…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I-It's not completely his fault. I'm the one who couldn't move on" He rests his head in his hands./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Bullshit! You know what you should do. Walk into the theatre tomorrow and ignore his ass."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""So, I should go back? No way!" He thoroughly shakes his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Come on, you can't let him control your life forever" Todd scoffs. br /"You know it's true. Don't let him ruin this opportunity."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"After Cecilia leaves, he's left to wallow in his own thoughts. Looking for something to do, he heads into his office. His mahogany desk is covered in stacks of journals and papers. The trash bin next to his desk overflowed with crumbled-up drafts. Thrown away ideas he needed to expel from his brain. Some were even ideas left from his last poetry book. A fresh book of his poetry was centerfold. He flips through to the dedication page. Only one line was on it, emTo Puck./em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He slams the book shut. He remembers when an interviewer had asked about it. His book was gaining traction though it was still mostly underground. He had an interview Cecilia set up with a journalist, this would be a chance to get more publicity for the book. It started out well, asking about his influences, inspirations. Then a question the interviewer asked seemed to strike him off course. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Now, I'm sure many people are asking but your book says its dedicated to…" He checks his notes "emPuck/em. Could you tell me who that is?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHis brain winces at the mention of it. The thought of the play always made his stomach clench. Memories hitting his chest with a painful emumph/em. Once he'd gotten back home from the interview, he downed a bottle to numb the heartache. But he never regretted putting it in. It was all for him. emFor Neil./em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center" /p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I cause no harm, mind my business./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"If our love died young, I can't bear witness/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"And it's been so long/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"But if you ever think you got it wrong /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"I'm right where you left me/span/emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"{right where you left me- Taylor Swift}/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"1959/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Moonshine kissed the walls, painting shadows in the cracks. He glanced at the cold silver object in his hand. Fingers curled around the trigger. Salty streams ran down his cheeks. He had nothing left, nothing. His father tore it apart. He would take him from his friends, from Todd, from acting. The last things he seemed to cling onto. His father will always have control over him. He couldn't escape, he felt the pressure crushing him slowly. They would all be better off without him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He imagines a tear-stained face, milky white skin against the snow. Quivering lips, oxygen trying to escape between wails. He can't explain what made him lower it from his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He didn't need his father to live his life. He could just leave, they wouldn't care. His parents, his friends. How could they? He almost did the most despicable thing, he was told, he could do. So, he packed his only belongings and left. Shoes crunching on snow as he headed into the night./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"1966/span/em/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Rushing out of his apartment, his stomach grumbled in retaliation. Speckles of rain collected in his mousy hair. Filthy streets shuffled beneath his worn-in boots, the cold seeping through its cracks. The bags under his eyes protruded his face. The once refreshing air breathed stale now. He buries his face deeper into the fabric of his scarf. The bitter air was making his nose run. He was certainly a vision. The light freckles he had in summer that dusted his nose were gone. As he continued down the crowded streets of Manhattan in the bitter weather of late October, his hands reached into his coat to feel for the script. emRomeo and Juliet. /emA tinge of nostalgia nips at him. Teeth clung to his bottom lip like a ravenous animal. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The grimy pavement of the sidewalk led right to the theatre. An old building crumbling down, but in a charming way. It was adamantly named emThe Globe Manhattan Theatre./em Unlike the one in England, this one was much smaller and in New York City. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His steps slow as he nears the front doors. Shaking out his hands, hoping to relieve the tension. The job was a favor from his publisher and adamant best friend, Cecilia. Her girlfriend was directing, and they needed another producer. Although it seemed like she just wanted the author to get out more. Have something to do to get new inspiration for his poetry. After his first book had been published, he'd been stuck in a writer's slump. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Walking into the theatre makes him feel a rush for something unnamable. Like the days before his world seemed to stop. The bleary haze of the past few years is behind him. He feels a warmth encompassing his body. Like coming home after a long day in the chillier months of the city. Not that he ever goes out, liking to stay in the comfort of his apartment. This was probably the most he'd been outside in the last month. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The lobby's walls covered in faux velvet paints an elegant picture, if you ignore the stains and rips present in them. An arched ceiling greets him; chipped gold accents paint the edges as if they'd been piped with icing. Old heaters can be heard, faintly. Buzzing the air with a comfortable hum. Faint footprints of damp shoes lead towards a door farther down the hall. It must be where their meeting, he concurred. A noise a larger set of doors catches his attention. Past them concealed the stage below./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanA figure stands. A young man, laughter echoing even to where Todd stood in the back. He seemed to be doing a monologue on stage. Todd slinks closer, mesmerized by the familiar sounds. The man takes a faux bow. His heart rate picks up as the mysterious man's full profile comes into view. emHe was here…on the stage/em. The face he saw every time his eyes closed at night. Haunting his every waking moment of the past 7 years. The only difference was the more mature features. What really solidified that it was him was someone saying his name./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif; color: #333333; background: white;""Aw man, not again. There Neil goes, already monologuing."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"As if he feels Todd's eyes on him, the figure turns. Chestnut eyes meet cerulean blue. That's when he knows it's really him. emIt was Neil. /emTodd feels a heavy weight collapse on his chest. A reminiscent ache in his stomach clenchedem. It couldn't be him./em Todd needed to leave, now. Bile threatened to come up. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He tries to leave unnoticed, but his vision is blurred by brimming tears. He pushes past the crew entering the theatre. A woman whose name he doesn't know stops him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""You alright there?" She asks. He doesn't remember what he answered back. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He knew it wasn't a good idea to do this/span/emspan style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His high-strung pants are indistinct over the honking cars. He prays no one follows him out. He always felt a little more winded when walking for long periods of time, but he chalks it up to his age. A ripe 24 years old. Nothing to do with his habit of always having a cigarette in his hand./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanHe needed to call Cecilia. This wouldn't work. A phone was found inside a café two blocks away from the theatre. An impatient buzz fills his nerves. While the line rings, he shakily lights a cigarette. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Hey hon, what up? You never call this early" Cecilia's voice rings in his ears. A hint of her faded southern twang comes out. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I quit" Todd states. The line stays quiet, knowing Todd will continue. He exhales another breath of smoke before continuing. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""The play, i-it's too much, okay. I'm just not ready" his voice practically pleading. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Bullshit, Todd. It hasn't even been a day" she snaps back. "You've haven't given it a chance yet. This will be good for you. You know getting out, interacting. Maybe you could even make some friends."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I have friends" he grunts, flicking ash off his cigarette. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Not including myself or Charlie or Knox" He lets out a sigh. Todd knew Cecilia wanted what was best for him. Staying inside emwas/em comfortable for him. But sometimes he needed her to push him out of that comfort zone, into the fresh air. Well, as fresh as the city air could get. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"The only thing he missed about Vermont was the nature that seemed to surround everywhere you went. Taking a walk through a forest always gave him inspiration. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""You haven't even tried going. I know it starts at 8 and its only… 8:16!"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I know, I know, it's just…" His heart picks up just at the recollection of the ghost haunting his past and now present being there. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Hey, hon. I don't mean to be cross at you" she could tell his tone had turned more panicked. She lets out an exasperated sigh. Something very common on her phone calls with Todd. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I have a meeting but after, I'm coming to your apartment. We need to figure this out." Cecilia could tell there was something going on without even seeing his face. Something only one person had been able to do before. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Thank you, thank you." He exhales, leaning his head style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /spanspan style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Just being a good publicist" she mumbles before hanging up the phone. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanAnother guzzle of wine hits his throat. The taste brings tartness to his palette. There's a swirl of smoke trailing from the bud between his fingers. A habit he picked up when writing his first poetry book. His foot impatiently taps against the floor. It's 10 am. Maybe too early for a drink but he needed it. The feeling of the wine glass in his hand grounded him. He never drank, keeping his liquor at the back of the cabinet. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He glanced at the antique clock on his wall. emTick, tick/em. She said she'd get here around 10. Not that Todd cared if she was a few minutes late, he was just on edge. For many other reasons. Reasons his mind hadn't lingered on in 7 years. The impenetrable wall he'd built up now felt like it was chipping. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanA knock at the door startles Oscar, his tabby cat who was busy rubbing against his leg. It's unnecessary for her to knock but she always did. No one else bothered to come by. Also, she had a key following an incident in which he didn't answer her calls or knocks for a week after his book came out. A jangle in the keyhole sounds and the door swings open. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"Even without facing her, he can tell just what expression is on her face. The face of a scolding but still concerned older sister. She was the right age that she could've been. He only has experience with an older brother. One whose companionship depleted as soon as puberty hit. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He hadn't talked to him since Jeffery's wedding that June. There was no talk of his book, the subject being too taboo for his family. Jeff was civil and shook his hand, a starch smile blinding his face. Todd wanted to be angry at Jeff for the continuous degradation his parents directed at him from an early age because of him. But he didn't have it in him to be angry at Jeff. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He didn't bring a date. His parents wouldn't approve of anyone he would've wanted to bring away. He planned it to be the last time he saw them. He just had to handle their disapproval and disappointment in his life choices for one last weekend. He cut them off after the wedding. He should've done it earlier but stayed for Jeff's sake. Slowly, Jeff was turning more and more like their parents, so he decided it was best to cut contact. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /span"Todd Anderson. Are you really drinking this early? And of course, you're smoking as well" She scoffs and pushes through his apartment. Grabbing a wine glass from his mostly barren cupboard. She plops down in a second-hand armchair. Oscar, knowing that Cecilia usually gives him treats when she's over, made his way to her. She snatches the bottle from the table and pours herself a rather large amount of wine. Todd raises his eyebrows at her. span style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Gene is really getting on my nerves at work… So are you, don't you forget it." She says the last part teasingly. He puts his hand holding the cigarette up in surrender. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"There's a quiet silence wafting through his apartment. The windows closed. Muffling the busy noises of a late morning in Manhattan. He looks out at the rain falling outside. When he looks back, her gaze is already on him. Blue eyes stare into blue. An inconceivable expression on her face. Thin eyebrows squished, lips pouting in thought. Honey blond hair spun in hastily done curls pulled from her face with two clips. She relaxes deeper in her seat. Knit pencil dress scrunched as her legs crossed. Her stare unnerves Todd, and he turns away, taking a sip of his wine. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Neil was there" he confesses like it's the most casual thing in the world. He can see her from the corner of his eye barely manage to hold back a choke. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Like…emyour/em Neil?" She manages to get out. He doesn't remember when he told Cecilia about Neil. But she knew everything about their whole…situation./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""He's not mine" emHe never was/em./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Not the way you describe him" She raises him an eyebrow. His expression is blank, and Cecilia decides it's not the best time to joke with him. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Shit, Todd. That's…" She puts her head in her hands. Todd takes another long swig, having to refill his glass afterwards. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Are you sure it was him? I mean it's been 7 years, maybe-"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I know it was him. I know…" His mind is a tornado of emotions. He feels like sobbing, screaming, and jumping up and down all at once. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"His glass is now abandoned on the coffee table. "God, he's such an asshole" Cecilia spats. He was an asshole for leaving, yeah but there wasn't any reason for him to stay in contact with Todd or tell him where he was. He'd chalked that up to Neil not feeling the same way as him. I mean, Todd had known him for 4 months when they were still 17. You don't keep all the friends you have when you're that age. Or maybe Neil hadn't cared enough to reach out to style="mso-spacerun: yes;" /span/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""It's just, him leaving has been controlling you for the past 7 years. You never leave your apartment; you never date or try to make any friends. You're here wallowing in this loneliness. I have a real bone to pick with him…"/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""I-It's not completely his fault. I'm the one who couldn't move on" He rests his head in his hands./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Bullshit! You know what you should do. Walk into the theatre tomorrow and ignore his ass."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""So, I should go back? No way!" He thoroughly shakes his head. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Come on, you can't let him control your life forever" Todd scoffs. br /"You know it's true. Don't let him ruin this opportunity."/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" !-[endif]-/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;". . . . . . . . . . . . . ./span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; line-height: 115%;" align="center"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"After Cecilia leaves, he's left to wallow in his own thoughts. Looking for something to do, he heads into his office. His mahogany desk is covered in stacks of journals and papers. The trash bin next to his desk overflowed with crumbled-up drafts. Thrown away ideas he needed to expel from his brain. Some were even ideas left from his last poetry book. A fresh book of his poetry was centerfold. He flips through to the dedication page. Only one line was on it, emTo Puck./em/span/p
p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in; line-height: 115%;"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"He slams the book shut. He remembers when an interviewer had asked about it. His book was gaining traction though it was still mostly underground. He had an interview Cecilia set up with a journalist, this would be a chance to get more publicity for the book. It started out well, asking about his influences, inspirations. Then a question the interviewer asked seemed to strike him off course. /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;""Now, I'm sure many people are asking but your book says its dedicated to…" He checks his notes "emPuck/em. Could you tell me who that is?" /span/p
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman',serif;"span style="mso-tab-count: 1;" /spanHis brain winces at the mention of it. The thought of the play always made his stomach clench. Memories hitting his chest with a painful emumph/em. Once he'd gotten back home from the interview, he downed a bottle to numb the heartache. But he never regretted putting it in. It was all for him. emFor Neil./em/span/p