This Chapter deals with a sensitive topic so I just wanted to give a trigger warning.
A week later.
Karen was sitting on the ultrasound table waiting for the technician to come in.
"I am so excited to see this little peanut." She smiled looking over at Shane. "I am glad you got to clear your schedule so you could be here."
"Me too! I wouldn't miss it for the world." He smiled. "So are you headed back to work this afternoon too?"
"Yes. I said I only needed the morning off. So Melissa is covering the class until after lunch." She smiled as
"So I get a lunch date with my sexy wife." Shane smiled.
"Yes you do! Oh did the boys tell you they want to be Ninja Turtles for Halloween?" Karen smiled.
"They did. Just sucks that Halloween is on a Tuesday this year and it's Marissa's day with them."
"Yeah they asked if they could trick or treat around our house. But I said they had to talk to you and Marissa. I told them I could take them but reminded them that you would be on the road."
They talked a little bit more when the technician finally came in.
"Hi Karen McMahon?" She asked.
"Yes that's me." Karen smiled.
"HI. My name is Emily. So it says you're here for ultrasound." Emily said getting things set up and motioning or Karen to lay back on the bed.
"Yes." Karen smiled as she laid back and pulled up her shirt. The technician put that paper blanket down at her pant line. "We get to see our baby."
"Let's just take a look then shall we." She said getting out the gel. "This may feel a little cold." She said as she put the gel on Karen's belly as she started the ultrasound.
Karen propped one hand behind her head to get more comfortable as she watched the screen as she felt the ultrasound wand go across her abdomen. Shane was by her side as he held her other hand and watched the screen.
She took several images but didn't say much for a few moments.
"How far along did you say you were?" She asked.
Karen glanced up at Shane as they looked at the technician.
"I am about 11 weeks and 4 days. So almost 12 weeks." Karen said.
She didn't say anything she just nodded her head. As she continued tapping a few keys on the machine as she moved the wand around and then stopped.
"Is there something wrong?" Karen asked nervously as it seemed the mood in the room changed.
"I am just gonna go get the doctor so she can take a look. I will be right back." She said leaving the room.
"Shane?" Karen said nervously trying to worry to much.
"I am sure everything is fine Brown eyes." He said kissing her as he held her hand tightly in his.
Several minutes went by when the Doctor came in with Emily the technician.
"Hello again Mr. and Mrs. McMahon." Doctor Jones said.
"Hello." Karen and Shane both said.
She sat down and started the ultrasound again the doctor had a somber look on her face as she watched the screen.
"Is there something wrong?" Karen asked her voice shaking.
"What's wrong?" Shane asked again after is seemed they didn't hear or answer his wife.
"Why don't we go talk in the examine room." She stated. As she handed Karen a towel to clean her belly and had her sit up.
Karen was trying to hold it together as she held Shane's hands tightly.
"Can you tell us what's going on now please?" Shane asked as he looked at the doctor and then at his wife.
The doctor let out a small sign.
"I am so sorry but I'm afraid we can't find a fetal heart beat. Karen you've had what we call a missed miscarriage." She stated.
In that moment her world came crashing in around her. Karen couldn't form words she just started crying leaning on to Shane.
"What … what does that mean?" Shane choked out wrapping his arms around Karen.
"I am sorry you've lost the baby. It appears the baby stopped developing around 8 weeks or so." Dr. Jones said.
"I don't understand. I didn't have any cramping or anything?" Karen choked out trying to catch her breathe as it felt like her heart was being ripped out of her chest.
"A missed or silent miscarriage is where the baby has passed and not developed but there have not been any physical signs that there is anything wrong." Dr. Jones explained.
"No!" Karen cried as she buried her head into Shane's chest.
"Are you sure? I mean there is no chance ..." Shane started to ask.
"I am sorry. But with no fetal heart beat or movement. I am afraid the baby has passed." She said to them.
She didn't say anything for a few moments as Karen just cried into Shane's chest as he held her close to him as he rubbed her back. This was a nightmare one that they couldn't wake from.
"I am so sorry for your loss. But I do need to talk about what happens next." She said.
"Wh .. .what do you mean?" Karen asked looking up at the doctor.
"There are three options you can wait to see if you fully miscarry naturally, there is a medication that you can take that will speed up the natural process or you can do the surgical option." She stated.
"What is the safest option for my wife?" Shane asked.
"All three are safe. I would just like to monitor her tho. I know this wont be easy." Doctor Jones said. "I will give you time to discuss it. Feel free to use my office."
After a few minutes of being alone in the ultrasound room. Shane helped Karen to the room down the hall. Karen felt weak in the knees she didn't know how this could have happened she blamed her self and felt like a failure. She should have known better than to think her dreams would come true.
"Shane I am sorry." Karen finally said breaking the silence still in tears. "I failed you and I lost our baby."
"Listen sweet heart." Shane said putting his hand on her face. "You did not fail me. Remember the doctor said that these things happen it was no ones fault. They don't know why they happen they just do. Please don't blame yourself." He said holding her close to him.
The next two weeks were the most difficult and devastating of Karen and Shane's life. For Karen it took a toll on her both physically and emotionally. For Shane it was emotional and heart breaking. He felt helpless to help his wife he never left her side as they started to grieve their loss.
November 2017
It was the week before Survivor Series and Shane begged Karen to come with him to South Carolina. Over the last month she started to close herself off. She never wanted to get out of bed she felt like she failed Shane and it was her fault they lost their baby. No matter what people would tell her she felt alone. But after much convincing from Shane and her sister in law Stephanie she decided she need to get out of New York. So she went with them. She was backstage at Smackdown hanging in Shane's office she didn't want to see or talk to anyone really. Karen tried to keep it together she did her hair and make up for the first time in a few weeks and she was wearing a cute pair of jeans a black tank top and a gray cardigan sweater over it with a pair of cute black heel boots.
Karen rolled her eyes when she heard her phone buzzing and saw that it was Taylor. She didn't want to answer it but did any way.
"Hello?" She said.
"Hey girl. How are you doing today?" Taylor asked her friend.
"The same I guess." She said.
"Karen. You know I am truly sorry for all you are going through." Taylor told her.
"Are you Taylor? Because the last time we talked you basically said this could be a blessing in disguise. Who the hell says that to someone who went through the hell I just did losing a baby?" Karen asked trying not to cry.
"I was trying to help you see that things happen for a reason. Maybe I didn't use the best choice of words. I am sorry I never meant to make you more upset. I know this isn't easy."
"Damn right this isn't easy Taylor. I failed my husband and lost our baby. I couldn't give him the one thing I know we both wanted. I am the one who has to deal with it the guilt that is eating me up inside."
"You didn't fail him. This wasn't your fault. Things happen that you can't control. How has Shane been with all this?" Taylor asked.
"Do you care? I mean you were the one who said he didn't want this baby any way." Karen scoffed.
"Karen you know that is not exactly what I meant." She said.
"That is what you said and Taylor you've never bee one to not say exactly what you mean. But as if you care he is doing as well as to be expected I guess. You know he took two weeks off of work to be with me during the most difficult time of our lives. He never left my side he held me close to him and was just there for me." Karen said.
"I know but then he went back to work and you didn't." Taylor said.
Karen rolled her eyes. "Yes he did go back to work. Survivor series was coming up and he had to start the Raw under siege story line. Look it doesn't matter because he stayed by my side for two weeks Taylor. But I told you why I didn't and just couldn't go back. The school was nice enough to understand and get another teacher to take my place. I just need time."
"I don't want you to get depressed. Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?" She asked.
"No we're not. We are going to Connecticut to be with the McMahon's for Thanksgiving."
"What about your mom and Ben?"
"They are going Ben's new girlfriends for the day." She said.
Shane was talking and getting ready for the show tonight. While in the locker room Roman and Dean were getting ready for the show.
"Roman are you gonna go talk to her? I don't get you man you've avoided her for months and now she's going through some serious shit." Dean said to the big dog.
"I can try. I mean she might not wanna talk. I had to make a choice bro it's to hard to see her with Shane and act like nothing happened with us. I still care about her so I had to just back off for awhile and get some of my own personal shit together." Roman admitted to his friend.
"Uce I get that. But will you at least try and come talk to her with me? I mean she didn't say much to me either when I stopped in New York to see her." Dean told him.
"Yeah I we can let's go." Roman said.
As Dean and Roman headed to Shane's office to see Karen. They knocked on the door and slowly came in seeing Karen on the phone.
"Taylor I gotta go." Karen said hanging up the phone seeing Roman and Dean.
"Hey baby girl." Roman said coming into the room.
"Hi Roman. Hey Dean." She said.
Both Roman and Dean could see the sadness in her eyes.
"Been a little while huh?" Roman said softly.
"Yeah it has. Are you feeling any better from when you were sick?" She asked.
"I am fine Karen thanks. But I am more worried about you." He said as he pulled her into a hug.
At first Karen wasn't sure how to feel about this since it seemed Roman had ignored her over these last several months but he was there now and so was Dean. As she felt his arms around her she hugged him back. As she was trying not to cry she pulled away and hugged Dean.
"We're here for you babe." Dean said hugging his friend.
"Thanks and I never did say thank you for coming to see me and the flowers." She said to Dean as they all sat on the couch.
"You're welcome babe any time." He smiled.
"So are you two ready to invade Smackdown?" She said wanting to change the subject at it was just painful.
"Hell yeah we are!" Dean said.
"Oh we've got this baby girl." Roman said.
"Good. I mean I like the New Day of course but you know The Shield. Can't bet against my Shield boys." Karen said wanting to smile but just couldn't bring herself to do that.
"We are gonna get that win. You hungry?" He asked her.
"No not really thanks tho. But you guys should go get something." She said.
"Come on babe let's get some grub no ifs ands or butts." Dean stated standing up and taking her hand.
"Dean it's fine I am just not hungry but you go ahead. I am sure I'll see you before the show."
"Karen you've gotta eat something please?" Roman asked.
She hesitated at first as Dean pulled her up and before she knew it they were on their way to catering. Roman and Dean grabbed some food at they were sitting down at the table they guys were eating just making small talk. Karen felt like she was in a daze not really listening to anything they were saying just going through the motions.
"Here eat a chip!" Dean said shoving a chip in Karen's face bring her out of the haze.
"What?" Karen said noticing the chip.
"Eat the potato chips they're really good." He told her as she forced herself to eat a few of the chips off his plate.
"See told ya good." He said with a mouth full chips.
"Alright Roman. Baby Rigo picture time!" Nia said sitting down at the table with them. "I want to see all the photos from his first Birthday." She said.
"I just..." He said glancing at Karen.
"Come on I know you have them on your phone so let me see them." She demanded.
Roman hesitated but got out his phone and started showing her photos of Rigo's first birthday party.
"Oh goss he's a mess." Nia smiled at the photo of Rigo with cake all over his face and then went to the next one which was of Rigo with Roman next to his high chair with cake all over him too. "Awe so much fun."
"Excuse me." Karen said as she got up and headed back to the office.
"Damn it." Roman growled shaking his head at Dean.
"I'll go." Dean said going after Karen.
"Karen wait up."
"Dean I'm fine you can go back and finish eating."
"Want to talk?"
"No I don't but thanks." She said.
"Want to go out and get drunk?" He asked.
Karen couldn't help but giggle a little.
"As tempting at that sounds there is a show in like an hour."
"Well damn it." He said.
"Hey Brown eyes so sorry the production meeting ran long." Shane said coming up to them and kissing her softly.
"It's OK. I understand." She told him.
"Hey Ambrose welcome back to Smackdown." Shane said shaking his hand.
"Yeah well just remember pay backs are a bitch." He teased. "Karen we can talk later if you want." He said giving her a hug and then heading back to catering.
"Everything alright?" Shane asked.
"Yeah I just was sitting in catering but it got to much so he was just making sure I was alright." Karen told him.
"I had the runner go get us some dinner. What do you say brown eyes dinner for two in my office?" He asked.
"Yeah that sounds good." She said as he grabbed her hand and they went back to his office and enjoyed a nice quiet meal together.
Toward the end of the show Karen made her way out towards the gorilla position and production area to watch the end of the show.
"HI Karen." Paul said giving her a hug. "How are you doing?"
"I'm alright Paul thanks." She said as Vince came over to hug his daughter in law.
"So glad you decided to come join us at Smackdown live tonight."
"Thank you. Me too just nice to get out of New York for bit." Karen said as they were watching the last segment of the show when
The Shields Music hit and they came down to confront the New Day. Sami and Kevin ditched the New Day. Leaving them to the Shield. As they attacked and started fighting in the ring. When the Uso's came to the ring to help out the New Day. Sheamus and Cesaro from Raw came to take them out. Then Shane came running down to the ring with the rest of the Smackdown live roster fighting the members of Team Raw. Braun Strowman came to the ring and started clearing out Team Smackdown. When Shane pushed the back of Braun.
"That was dumb Shane." Karen said watching her husband on the screen.
He got a few good punches before Braun laid him out. The Shield picked Shane up Dean and Seth on either side of him holding him down Roman behind him. Kurt Angle got into his face.
"You think this is bad Shane! Wait Wait until Sunday." Kurt said when he then gave the thumbs down. Dean and Seth started attacking him. The Shield then gave Shane the triple power bomb in the middle of the ring. Kurt then gave him an ankle slam. Team Raw stood tall as the show went off the air.
"That was awesome." Paul said at The Shield came back stage.
"We've still got it." Seth said cocky.
"Was there every any doubt." Roman smiled glancing over Karen's way.
"We dominate everybody." Dean said.
"Even the commissioner of Smackdown live." Karen said coming up to them.
"Yeah about that well umm he started it." Dean winked at Karen.
"I know. Let's just hope you didn't hurt him well to bad." She said trying to joke around but it still felt empty in her heart.
"Baby girl listen about earlier … I am sorry .. for .." Roman began to say to Karen. When she glanced over and saw Shane being helped to the back by a couple referees.
"Roman you have nothing to be sorry for now please excuse me I need to go check on Shane." She said.
"Uce you're talking to her again that is a step in the right direction." Dean told him. "Getting your personal shit together well that's not a bad idea either."
"Are you alright?" Karen asked Shane as she went into the trainers room.
"Yeah that power bomb wasn't to bad but damn Seth's knees to the ribs kind of did me in and who the hell knew Angle could still do the ankle slam so well." Shane said.
"Want me to go tell Charla? She'll beat Seth's ass?" Karen said.
"Nah I don't want him injured for Sunday." Shane said.
After Shane was given the all clear and finished a few other things they headed back to their hotel room.
Karen was getting some comfortable clothes out of her suit case not saying much. Shane looked at his wife he just walked over to her and pulled her into him. She slowly wrapped her arms around him hugging him back.
"I love you." She told him.
"I love you to." He said as they were still embraced in the hug.
"I am so sorry." She said.
"I am sorry too."
"Shane you have nothing to be sorry for at all. I just don't know where to go from here I feel empty and guilty like this is all my fault. I know I shut you out and I am sorry. I just don't know what to say." She admitted looking up into his eyes.
"You are not alone brown eyes. You have nothing to feel guilty for this wasn't your fault. We will get through this together." He told her kissing her forehead.
"As long as we have each other."
"Always."
"Shane … Make love to me please." She said leaning up to kiss him.
A smirk came across his face as he kissed her passionately and carried her over to the bed. As they started making out they began to strip off their clothes. Shane staring at her beauty taking it all in. Karen tracing her hand over his abs as his hands roamed her body. He got on top of her and kissed her lips as he entered her she arched her back and let out a moan of pleasure. As he started thrusting into her at a slow and steady pace.
"Shane!" She moaned moving her hips with his as he grabbed her hands in his and pinned them about her head.
"You feel so damn good baby!" Shane growled. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he filled her up.
"Fastest! Oh Yes!" She moaned her breathing getting heavy as Shane started going faster and harder. Their bodies were one with each other. Soon they both glistened with sweat.
"Uhhh." Shane panted.
"Right there baby oh fuck!" She blurted out.
Making Shane smirk at her words. "You like that huh sweet heart?"
"Yes Shane mmm I …. I'm gonna come!" She moaned out feeling so close.
"Come for me!" Shane demanded as leaned down and sucked on her collar bone and that was all it took to bring her over the edge.
"SHANE!" She panted out.
A couple thrusts later Shane reached the edge as well. He looked down at his beautiful wife and kissed her.
"I love you." He told her.
"I love you too." She said.
Shane laid next to her and tried to pull her close as she sat up and wrapped the sheet around her.
"Karen?" He asked.
"I am just gonna go shower." She said as she went into the bathroom and shut the door.
Shane laid their as he heard the shower when all these thoughts of the last month flooded his head. It had been the worst time of their lives. Karen stood in the shower the hot water raining down on her when she broke down and cried.
Thank you jjd022980, Jessica619, espeon44, Jenna, Blaze and Wolfgirl2013 for you comments and reviews. They truly mean the world to me.
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Please remember that I do my best when editing but more often than not I tend to miss things. So I am sorry for any mistakes you may find.