-Jazz? Please don't be mad, I told you before, didn't I? It takes time.- Alice said softly, rubbing soft circles around his back in hopes to bring him some kind of comfort.

A muffled grunt was her answer.

Carlisle had decided to start giving Jasper something akind to homework over a week ago, said that it was important for him to at least learn how to write, do basic maths and learn just general stuff.

Also to confirm how much he might know, what he understood and what he didn't.

So far? Jasper did well, he was a fast learner, his handwriting has improved a lot this past week, the sentences didn't had switched letters nor were there words squeezed together anymore, and while his grammar was still a bit messy he was still pretty good.

And while it didn't resemble his old handwriting, it was readable, that was what was important. He still had a lot of trouble with maths though, mainly because he kept mixing the numbers and/or had a hard time remembering how did the numbers look like in general.

But he did improve on his recognition of colors, animals, foods and objects.

Emmett had taken him to the forest a few days ago with Rosalie, Bella and Renesmee, all so as to show him the real deal regarding the names of several animals, flowers and objects.

It made Alice smile to see them all so willing on helping him.

His skills with holding a pen at all had improved too, initially, he had had a hard time writing without it being wobbly or way too long lines, coloring inside the lines had also been tricky.

Carlisle said that much like how a human's motor skills suffered a great impact due brain related injuries, for Jasper it might be similar, his brain suffered great impact when he was decapitated, he had healed, but was still suffering from it.

Much like a human, he might heal completely same as he might not, he might also be left with permanent damage same as he might not.

There was also how he still had trouble walking without a limp, running, jumping and even climbing down the stairs unassisted, or how he had trouble catching or throwing things with his left hand.

Emmett's taken him to play catch in the backyard several times, apparently, Jasper had troubles with his left side.

It made Alice seethe, the more she heard about those little things, the more she notices those little oddities, the more she wants to kill someone, to see him like this… it breaks her heart, and she wishes she had looked for him, had refused to believe he was dead.

To think she was in Volterra, had Aro right infront of her several times… and she had had absolutely no idea .

She sighed, stroking his back softly and throwing a look at the book laying on the floor by the door.

Jasper's reading has improved quite a bit too, but he still got the words mixed or some words would just not come out right, and he would throw the book across the room when frustration won over.

That's what had happened now, he had been reading Pinocchio out loud, Carlisle said it was better to start with kids' books because it were less difficult to read, reading out loud would also help with his speech.

Point is, he kept getting the word "cricket" wrong, Alice had corrected him several times in an attempt to dissuade his visible frustration.

But even with her corrections the word didn't quite seemed to register with him, he kept repeating it wrong, cracker, cracked, bricked, casket, brisket.

And so the book had ended up being thrown, Jasper was never aggressive, but she guessed it had to be terribly frustrating to not be able to read the words right, not because you don't know, but because your brain just won't cooperate.

As if your brain and mouth were on completely different pages. At least that's how Jasper had described it.

It pained her to see him like this, Jasper had loved reading, him being unable to read fluently now felt like such a cruel thing to put him through.

Alice read to him a lot, and so did Renesmee, she's also caught Emmett reading comic books to him, and she knew Rosalie was reading the Harry Potter book series to him.

And still, she knew he would like to be able to read them himself, to read as good as anyone else.

She wasn't sure for how long she sat there, just stroking his back and wondering if he would ever be able to read as good as he used to, if he would ever be able to do what he had once enjoyed doing so much, reading.

At some point, she felt him relax, this before he was turning his head to look up at her.

-Feeling better?- She questioned, her voice gentle as she pulled her hand away, he didn't answer to her.

For a moment, all he did was stare at her, his gaze troubled.

And then.

-How bad was I?- His question is as unexpected as it's confusing, and still, it takes her nothing but a fleeting moment to realize what he means.

-It's not like that.- She said, resting her hand on his hair once again, she wasn't sure how to answer this, she knows he's asked Emmett and Rosalie, but neither had given him a straight answer.

Well, maybe Rosalie, but she didn't exactly elaborate, so he didn't had much to go by.

And still, while she isn't sure how to answer, she can't just let him believe he is bad, because he wasn't. He was one of the kindest people she's ever met, he was strong, smart and he fought for what was right. He was her sweet southern gentleman, but also her overprotective fool.

Point is.

He wasn't evil.

-Then how is it? I was bad enough for everyone to hate me, but not enough for you and your family to hate me.- His words break Alice's heart. She knew the kind of reputation he had had, still had.

A lot of people hated him, she knew this, but as she had once told him, those people didn't matter, those who did love him and cared about him would never hate him.

Much less because of his background, he made mistakes, everyone did, and alright, he didn't drop a vase, he killed thousands, but at the end he had done it for survival.

That's how the South had been for vampires for decades, whether people liked it or not, that had been the cruel truth, only by being merciless and selfish could you have any chances at surviving.

And that's what Jasper had done.

Survive.

-... It wasn't your fault, you didn't knew there was another way, you just did what you had to to survive. It's how it's, but you were never evil, nor a monster, you had, have a kind heart. Doesn't matter what other people say, you are good.- She tells him firmly, needing him to at least understand that last bit.

He must never believe such a thing as that of him being evil, he was not evil, never could be.

He stares at her.

He seems like he wants to ask something, she waits, but he just ends up looking away, he then starts tracing one of the blue flowers from the hem of her skirt.

-I like blue.- Comes the soft whisper, to Alice, it feels like a deja Vu, that had been one of the three questions she had thrown at Jasper when she first met him.

"-What type of music do you like? Who was your first kiss? What's your favorite color?"

She remembers his cute frown at her questions, how unsure he had been with the whole situation, she had made a point of appearing as harmless as possible so as to not scare him off, but that hadn't stopped him from being nervous.

He had kept looking at her as if he were attempting to read her tricks and possible ulterior motives.

It had been quite amusing, she had been nothing if not thrilled with having him infront of her, to get the confirmation that he was real and not some hallucination from her mind.

Had loved even more that shocked look on his face when she had stolen a kiss from him, all so as to keep him from reacting to the waitress' blood when this one cut her finger.

She would have wished for their first kiss to be more special, but keeping him from killing that woman infront of everyone else had been way more important.

But she didn't regret that kiss, he had given her such a fascinated look afterwards when the shock had disappeared, it had filled her with giddiness.

And relief.

Relief that he hadn't rejected her, that he had liked that kiss just as much as she had.

-I like blue too, well, I like all the colors, but blue's a good one.- She told him at last, smiling at his little smile.

Well, she guessed there would be no more homework for the day.

Jasper for his side frowned, tracing the blue flowers on Alice's skirt, he wanted to ask her if she had known him, but what was the point? She would lie like the others had done, he didn't want her to lie to him. Not her.

So, he kept quiet.

He liked the feeling of her fingers carding through his hair, it made his muscles relax, and he found himself closing his eyes.

And as she began humming he couldn't help but draw closer to her, seeking for her proximity, whenever he heard her humming it felt like the world could be crumbling around.

But as long as she was here, nothing else would matter.

Like his own beautiful angel.

~

Alice stared at Jasper as he slept, he's been sleeping for a while now, her fingers were now tracing the scars across his hand which was resting lazily on her thigh.

She would never get tired of watching him sleep, how relaxed he looked like, so vulnerable, so innocent. She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against his cheek.

He mumbled something in his sleep, fingers curling onto her skirt and face rubbing against her. She knew it didn't mean anything, but it still made her smile, he was always a clingy sleeper.

She brushed the hair away from his face, it had grown quite long these past months, it was now well past his shoulders, she wondered if he would let her cut it again.

The sudden light knock from the door caught her attention.

-Come on in.- She called in a soft whisper, the door opened to reveal Esme holding some books. She glanced at Jasper.- I don't think he will want to keep on studying much today.

-It's alright, I will just leave them here.- Esme said, picking up the book from the floor on her way to the little shelf by the desk, the desk which was filled with many scattered papers, notes and notebooks, wobbly handwriting and some doodles here and there.

She put the books on the little shelf, Rosalie had put it together a few days ago, it was now filled with many books, some educational and others kids' books.

He had progressed a lot for what she had heard.

The one who even came up with the idea of getting Jasper to do these had been none other than Jacob himself, had been more of a comment, but it had made them realize how right he was.

Why leave it all to movies when they could easily teach him through books like many children were taught? It was almost embarrassing how none of them had thought about that sooner.

She straightened back up, throwing a look at Alice, she was sitting on the bed, Jasper sleeping by her side clutching her skirt, they looked so adorable together.

Even if he didn't remember her it was clear part of him did.

The fact that he seeked her out a lot and reacted like that to her was more than proof of it.

It did pain Esme though, that it's been two months and he still avoided her, he wouldn't meet her eyes the rare times she spoke to him, and he would just generally avoid her.

She knew he was anxious, even if he had been assured that he wouldn't get in trouble for speaking to her he still reacted as if he would.

It pained Esme, because no one would harm him here, and certainly not for speaking to her.

But that was easier said than done, he still flinched a lot, either when people made sudden movements or when he was accidentally touched.

She had seen him actually jump away when Emmett bumped into him during one of their matches at videogames.

But again, she guessed that made sense considering what he had gone through, it would take time before he realized not all touches meant pain.

Point was, he was mainly relaxed around Alice, and at times Renesmee, but she guessed the latter made sense seeing that as a child Renesmee didn't really seem threatening to him. He had nothing to fear from her.

And Alice… well, he spent a year and a half with her, even if he didn't remember it anymore, they had made lots of memories.

She wished she could spend time around him, he was her son, that son she never got to meet but that she had mourned.

Because yes, she had mourned him, she never met him, and Alice never spoke of him aside from when she told them about him, but the knowledge alone that he might have been her son, a son she never got to meet…

It had pained her.

Because it had reminded her of her own baby, she only got to spend a few days with him before he left this world. She never got to see him smile, hear him laugh, see him crawl, hear his first words, take his first steps, take him to school, he never got to enjoy life, make friends, get a girlfriend, married, have children of his own, he never got to live.

She never got to know what was his favorite color, favorite animal, what did he like and what did he hate, nothing.

Just like she never got to know Jasper.

But Jasper was alive, she had a chance at interacting with him, knowing him, bond with him .

-You know, if you want, I can kick everyone out and leave you to spend the day with him.- Alice's sudden voice caught her attention, she felt a bit embarrassed as she realized she had been caught staring.

But her words…

-Would you?- Esme wasn't ashamed to admit she did feel interest seize her, hope over the idea of finally being able to get a chance at interacting with Jasper without the possibility of him feeling pressure from other people's presences.

-Sure. You can lure him out with food, human food.- Alice said with a slight smirk.

Right, Esme had almost forgotten he could eat human food.

-Anything in particular?

-Well… he didn't like regular food much, he had more of a sweet tooth, he loved peach cobbler, apple pie and cinnamon ice cream. You can go with either of those, or something else, as long as it's sweet he will come down.- Alice assured.

Esme made a mental note on that, she loved baking, and making desserts was something she was an expert at, making him sweet treats sounded like a nice way to get him to loosen up to her.

As her mother used to say, food makes people grow closer.

Even more so if it's dessert.

Everyone loves desserts.

-He also likes fruits, a lot, and hot chocolate. He doesn't like coffee nor sodas though, said the coffee was too bitter and the sodas too… uh, "itchy", I guess he meant frizzly.- Alice smirked as she remembered his grimace when he had first tasted coffee under her request.

She had wanted him to tell her how that new coffee with the pretty designs tasted like.

And don't even get her started on his reaction to soda, he had spat it all over the floor and bolted to the bathroom to wash his mouth.

That had been hilarious.

He had called it spicy water.

She had tried to make him taste others with interesting flavors, but he had refused, she guessed that even if he could eat human food his heightened senses made food taste much more intense than it would for a regular human.

Also made sense his favoritism over sweet things.

He did said sweet things tasted much better than the explosion of flavors heavier foods brought, though that also depended on the food and how it was prepared, some flavors couldn't be mixed together because it made eating it overwhelming.

So he leaned more for the sweet stuff, it was simple and the ingredients on their own didn't held much flavor until mixed to make a dessert.

-Do you think you might be able to make me a list of the things he might like? I would like to buy them for him.- Esme said, she would like for him to feel more comfortable at home, getting him things he might like to eat could help with that.

Alice smiled.

-Sure.

~

Esme had decided to give it an attempt to Alice's suggestion of using the "infallible" method.

Draw Jasper out with food.

But not just any food, one of his favorite.

She didn't have enough apples for pie nor did she know how to make ice cream, but she did have enough peaches for cobbler.

So peach cobbler was it.

She already had the dough chilling in the fridge, now she was working on keeping an eye on the peaches, orange juice, lemon juice and butter to make sure the latter would melt nicely.

She was about to go get a bowl when she heard the whispers of footsteps.

Carlisle was at work and the others were out, Alice had made sure to get everyone out, just so Esme could try this.

She tried to not make a big deal out of it as she grabbed the cinnamon from the cupboard, taking a bowl out from under the sink.

She could feel his stare, and she dared to throw a look over her shoulder.

But she saw no one.

Something led her gaze up and she almost jumped out of her skin when she caught sight of him.

On the ceiling.

Well… she guessed dragging himself around the ceiling and walls was easier than attempting to climb down the stairs on his own, he could walk better now, but he still had trouble going up or down the stairs without support, for some reason he didn't like using the hand bars even though he's been assured several times that it's steel and not silver despite the color.

So she guesses the walls and ceilings are an option too.

She notices something though.

His eyes.

They were no longer that familiar black.

But silver.

Such a bright silver, unnerving, yes, but oh so beautiful, she had never seen anything like it.

And she knew that that was a good sign too, meant he was starting leave the underfed state he had been in since he was found at the church.

He was getting better.

-Hello you.- She greeted warmly, he quickly hid back and she couldn't help but smile in amusement before straightening back up, leaving the bowl on the counter.

He would come out when he was ready, sometimes you just had to let them come to you.

Meanwhile, Jasper peeked back into the kitchen when he was sure Esme wouldn't be looking at him anymore, he didn't knew why, but of all the Cullens Esme was the one he both felt less worried about and the one he feared the most.

Because she was so nice it put him on edge.

But she was also so… harmless.

Her movements and body language in general spoke of someone who had never in her life been in a fight, she probably couldn't even pack a punch.

But she also did look like she could hold her ground in a fight, but wouldn't do it.

He frowned at the weird train of thoughts, how did he even know that?

-Can you help me with this?- She asked, sounding a bit hesitant as she turned the stove off and brought out the dough from the fridge. She left it right beside a baking dish.

-Sure.- The answer was out before he could stop it, he scowled at himself, why did he had to say yes? He shouldn't interact with her, it wasn't safe.

And still.

He left the ceiling, he had a bit of a hard time getting off the ceiling and onto the ground, but he managed. He didn't circle the counter, he decided to stay across from her, this was the closest he was willing to get to her, but she didn't seem to mind as she pushed the dough towards him.

-Would you mind covering the bottom and halfway up the sides with it?- Esme said, pointing at the baking dish.

Jasper nodded before starting to do as told. Unwrapping the dough from the plastic before rolling it out, he's watched enough movies to know what to do with some things, and some others he just knew , had no idea how, but he just knew.

-What's this for?- He finds himself asking as he begins covering the bottom of the baking dish. Why did he had the feeling he had done this before?

Esme was stirring something in a bowl.

The familiar smell of cinnamon wafting across the room.

It reminded him of the ice cream he had eaten before, but it doesn't quite fit the exact same scent, it smells the same, but at the same time it doesn't. He can't quite describe it.

Regardless, it's a pleasant smell, he likes it, makes him feel all warm inside.

-I'm making peach cobbler.- Esme told easily, she tried to not smile as she caught the sudden interest in his eyes, though he was soon frowning in confusion.

-I don't mean to sound rude but…- He clenched his jaw, seeming to look for the right words, Esme didn't rush him nor did she finish the sentence for him even though she had an idea of what he might want to ask.

She knew he sometimes had trouble with words, it was no secret, Carlisle said it might solve on its own, or it might not, there was no telling, this was an unprecedented case after all.

Even more so when it came to a black blood, he must have lost a lot of blood when he was decapitated, a blood his body did need, who knows how that might have affected him.

At least he didn't seem to struggle as much as he used to.

-Why would you make somethin' you can't eat?- He questioned at last as he finished with the dough. Esme took it to the oven before turning to grab the peach's mixture from the stove.

-I like to make food for others. I might not be able to taste it, but I do know people who would like some homemade food, be it a warm meal or a sweet treat, Carlisle's co-workers, people at shelters, the occasional homeless human in town.- Esme said with a small smile as she brought out a knife from the drawer.

She set it on the counter.

-Can you cut some wide strips from the remaining dough?- She requested as she mixed the peaches' mixture with the cinnamon, sugar, cornstarch and nutmeg mixture.

She hadn't actually expected him to agree to help her, it had been an impulsive request, none of her children ever stuck around the kitchen whenever she cooked, they didn't even bother with joining her.

Emmett didn't find worth it cooking something he couldn't eat nor even taste, Alice refused to even step into the kitchen for whatever reason that might be, Edward wasn't interested and Rosalie got all moody because she couldn't taste what she made.

So to have him here so willing to help her bake… it made her happy, like they were bonding.

She was quite surprised though, he seemed to genuinely know what to do with the dough, how wide, how thick.

Maybe it was muscle memory, he might have helped his mother cook as a human, he didn't have any memories of it, but his subconscious reacted to it. That was a thing right?

She wondered though, would he ever get his memories back? Alice didn't seem like she was planning on telling him the truth anytime soon. Something Esme couldn't understand.

Because wasn't he her mate? One would think she would want him to remember her, their time together. Whatever might have happened to lead her to believe he was dead shouldn't interfere with his right to know the truth. He should at least get the choice to choose what to do, if to leave or stay.

But Alice wasn't giving it to him.

Esme could tell she was hiding something, but what? All she knew is that it was related to Jasper's "death". Alice never told them exactly how had he died in the first place. Was it connected to how did he end up back here in the South? With the Volturi and María? She couldn't understand.

She hoped all this mess ended without too much trouble, she just wanted the Volturi to not turn up, nor for María to turn up either, if she had participated in his torture Esme didn't want her anywhere near her family, his creator or not that woman didn't deserve to be anywhere near him after all the suffering she put him through.

The sudden sound of the oven caught Esme's attention, and she was quick to go over to it, putting her kitchen gloves on before taking out the baking dish, the crust was a beautiful golden brown. She set it back on the counter before pouring in the filling.

When she was done she didn't even have to ask Jasper to start putting the strips over the filling for he did it on his own, even allowed her to help him weave out the strips into a lattice, he seemed rather content if not a bit relaxed over this.

And Esme allowed herself to relax too, this situation almost felt normal, and she knew, that even if he left after he healed, this day would be always in her heart, because right now, she felt like she was bonding with him over something they both enjoyed , like a mother-son activity .

Too soon the top was done and Jasper pulled back. Esme sprinkled the top with a spoonful of sugar before drizzling it with some melted butter.

After that she put it back in the oven for its final trip.

It would take a while for it to be done, so she took that spare time to start washing what she had used.

Meanwhile, Jasper watched Esme, she was… strange.

He wasn't quite sure of the reason, but something about her made him alarmingly comfortable, like he didn't had to worry about anything around her, like he could trust her.

It unnerved him.

He had never met such a trusting and carefree person, and for a moment, he felt the overwhelming need to pounce at her, strike, just to see if she was seriously as harmless as she was making herself out to be.

But he didn't.

He tried to keep himself calm even though he was starting to feel a bit out of breath, because why was she ignoring him? Why was she so trusting? Why didn't she fear him? Why wasn't she wary? Suspicious? Anxious? Everyone in the house held some level of wariness towards him.

Aside from Alice and Renesmee, but neither of them counted, Renesmee didn't fear him because children were weird, some feared monsters and others liked monsters, and Alice… he didn't knew.

But this woman… Why was she giving him her back even though she knew he had been a vile person? He shouldn't be the one shaking, he shouldn't be the one gripping the fabric of his shirt as he fought to keep his breath even.

It should be her.

Not him.

The air was starting to grow thinner as the obliterating feeling of the world being wrong started to crawl right beneath his skin. Why was she so nice? Why was she giving him her back? Why was she left alone with him? Why was she not afraid? Why? Why? Why? So many why's.

-Jasper?- His head wiped towards the voice and he realized he had climbed back on the ceiling at the some point, Esme was giving him a concerned look, her worry slicing his skin open, making his throat close and his stomach twist. Why why why why?!

He couldn't breathe, his hand clutched his chest as he fought and failed to breathe, but the air was too thin thin thin, he couldn't breathe , his chest was tight, his lungs, he was gonna die.

-Jasper, it's alright.

Nothing is alright! She is not alright! He would be alright if she were alright!

-Jasper, honey, you are alright, I'm not gonna hurt you, you are safe here.- She tried to appease.

He curled against the wall, claws digging through concrete as he wished for some kind of window he could escape through, away from this confusing woman, she had no reason to be nice, not this nice, Alice who seemed to be the main reason for people's niceties towards him wasn't around, she had no reason to be this nice.

A sound stuck at the back of his throat as he twisted around. Something didn't felt right on his chest, but he couldn't care less when it felt like his lungs would collapse. His chest. He was gonna die.

And in a moment of weakness, because confusion and fear were the only things in his mind along panic.

The words came out.

A/N: I don't know if the peach cobbler was made right, but I found over a hundred recipes so different from each other I wanted to just disappear XD I have never seen or tasted this dish in my life, so I have absolutely no idea if the process or the final result were right even though I used steps from recipes for it. Maybe I should have watched a video about it, but bold of you to assume I have the patience for that or the capacity to even understand basic instructions without a "for stupid people" version XD