"It's being produced in the capital," Shaska said, stepping out of the portal. She was soon followed by her kids and Schwarz, pencils crunching under their feet.

"…where in the capital…?" Johnson asked, crossing his arms.

"The owner said she didn't know," Schwarz said. "Not sure how much we should take her word for it, though. She was pretty clearly on the take from Minus World."

"I have a feeling we're gonna be going up against a Warlord today," said Zeiko, puffing on her cigarette. "The shop owner said he's the ultimate source of the grass."

"I feel a lot more confident now that it's the ten of us instead of us three agents," said Zeimaru.

"Hold it," Isha interrupted, pulling her sucker out of her mouth. "I can't fight. And Shaska shouldn't be fighting. She got messed up really bad at Vicks Davis."

"Any idea what this Warlord does? I mean, what's his power?" Ren asked.

"No idea," Zeiko responded. "But like I was telling Salvatore earlier today, it's most likely a strong one."

"Still, it's eight, maybe nine, on one," Salvatore said, punching his palm. "I like those odds."

"Then what are we waiting for, darlings?" Lulupo exclaimed, striking a pose. "Let's get the lead out and take out this Warlord!"

"But my pockets are already empty…" Zinnia said, cocking her head to the side. This earned her a glare from the rest of Worldwide Smoke, including her beloved snake, Ruth.

Ren patted Zinnia on the back. "Let's work on your language skills when we are done with mission," she said.

—-

Ford sneezed as he talked on the transponder snail. As he rubbed his nose, he said "I, ah… already heard from my, ah… other source that Shaska and CPW-2 were here… but they're coming for the, ah… grass, huh?"

"That's right, boss," said the giantess dispensary owner.

"Fortunately, I, ah, already mobilized the, ah, Mesomesonians. We'll be fine…"

He held up his index finger; a yellow light emanated from it.

"We'll be fine…" he reiterated with a smile.

Caaaalick

—-

"There's two things that are bothering me about this mission," Johnson said, stroking his chin.

"What's up, bird?" Schwarz asked, hands clasped behind his head.

"We're going into this without our weapons. And any weapons we buy here would be waaay too big for us," Johnson explained. "Relying on just our Devil Fruits means we're not going in at our full power."

"Fair enough. I feel like half a man without Tizona," Schwarz replied.

"The other thing is 'how are we going to find this place?'" Johnson continued. "I doubt there's going to be a big sign saying 'hey, we're a facility producing drugs for an evil cult, come on in and have a milkshake!'"

"Honestly, a milkshake does sound pretty good in this heat…" Salvatore muttered.

"Well, the second one is pretty simple, bird kid," Shaska said. "We just have to find this Ford guy and beat the info out of him."

"Okay, well where is he?" Johnson asked.

Shaska rubbed her chin and said "if he's this island's ruler, then there's probably a palace he lives in. We just need to storm the palace (maybe burn it to the ground), and find him!"

"But our first order of business is actually getting to the capital," said Zeimaru, blowing smoke. "And as established before, we're too small to hail a taxi by ourselves."

"Are we, though…?" Shaska asked, a sly smile on her face.

Soon enough, Zeiko was on Zeimaru's shoulders, and on her shoulders was Lulupo, and on his shoulders was Salvatore. The Worldwide Smoke-stack was about 35 feet tall, or roughly the same height as the average denizen of Mesomeso Island.

Lulupo formed a giant hand out of his hair and began waving it in the street. And quick as a whip, a passing mink taxi stopped for the crew.

"Need a ride? Where to?" the taxi asked.

"We're heading to Linnelton," Shaska said as her subordinates hopped off each others' shoulders.

"Anywhere in Linnelton in particular?"

"The palace. We have… business… with Seven Ford," Shaska replied.

The mink taxi stared at her. After a moment to think, it said "seems legit to me! Hop in!"

The taxi opened the door on its side, and Worldwide Smoke pulled themselves in, making sure to bring the giant bag of cat food for their payment. And with that, the taxi took off down the street, heading toward Linnelton.

—-

The mink taxi barreled its way up the highway toward the capital city of Linnelton, its (relatively) tiny legs moving rapidly like the wheels of a train. The twins smoked their cigarettes, once again causing Salvatore to crack a window in the cabin so it wouldn't become flooded with smoke.

"So… now what…?" Ren asked, sipping from her water pack.

"I guess we could just shoot the shit until we get there," Schwarz replied, twiddling his thumbs.

"Why would we shoot at excrement?" Zinnia asked.

"That one was on purpose, snake girl!" Shaska yelled.

"It might have been," Zinnia responded, picking her nose. Ruth gave a playful hiss.

"Well, what's everyone gonna do after the war is over?" Salvatore asked.

"I'm going to use the money I saved from this little adventure to find the Kamabakka Queendom, where all with the heart of a maiden gather!" Lulupo explained cheerfully. "How about you, government darlings? I'm curious to hear what your hopes and dreams are!"

"Gonna go back to work and never talk to our mom again," Zeiko said coldly, blowing smoke.

Lulupo gritted his teeth and muttered "…delightful."

"What do you want me to say, okama? Just because I'm working for her now doesn't mean I exactly forgive her for what she put me and my brother through as kids!" Zeiko explained.

"It's just interesting is all," Isha said. "Fishmen working for the World Government, that is. I don't particularly care for Shaska either but I'd never sell my soul like that…"

"I'm right here…" Shaska muttered.

"Y'know, considering people like us are still routinely enslaved up here and all," Isha continued. "Frankly, it feels like spitting directly in the face of Fisher Tiger to—"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be treated like you're nothing by your own mother?" Zeimaru interrupted. "We had to do some pretty shady things to get by as kids! Do you know what that's like?!"

Isha reflected on her past as an underage prostitute in the Fishman District, then bluntly said "yes" while biting through her sucker.

"Hmph," Zeimaru responded. "Anyway, as for me, I got a girl back home. Gonna ask her to marry me when this is all over."

"How sweet," said Johnson. "I think I'm gonna write a book when I'm done here. This adventure I've been on this year has been something, alright. It's gonna—"

The ground began to quake, and in front of the mink taxi, the sands opened up. And out came Doctor Worm, barrelling out of the sands and stretching. Once again, he knocked the mink taxi on its side.

"DAMMIT!" Zeiko shouted as she and the rest of the crew flew into the wall of the taxi.

The government agents hopped up to the side of the taxi again, and Shaska followed suit with one of Schwarz's portals. She locked eyes with the monstrous worm and proceeded to rub her temples in frustration.

"HOW?! How do you keep finding us?!" Shaska shouted, shaking her fist at the worm.

"I can feel the vibrations of everyone's footsteps above ground on the island," Doctor Worm said matter-of-factly.

"Mrrr…" Shaska growled.

"What do you want, worm?" Zeiko asked.

"I'm just… annoyed is all," Doctor Worm said, twirling his fingers.

"What are you, a jilted ex-lover?" Zeimaru asked, rolling his eyes.

"Guys, let's hear him out," said Salvatore.

"You guys said you'd help me find Rabbi Vole, is all… yet you're taking off on the way to Linnelton. I know you said there's nothing in it for you, but—"

"Because there isn't!" Shaska stressed. "We're a business and a paramilitary organization, not a damn charity!"

"But—"

"I lied!" Shaska yelled. "Geez, is it your first time dealing with someone not telling the truth?! We were here to relax at first, but now we have a mission to get to, and finding your friend isn't a part of that!"

Doctor Worm started tearing up yet again. Shaska pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Hold on," said Salvatore, holding his hand up. "How did your friend disappear, exactly?"

Doctor Worm sniffled and said "he just disappeared one day. That's been happening to people who speak up against Seven Ford, saying they want our old leader, Jamesensor, back."

Zeiko and Zeimaru's expressions shifted from "annoyed" to "annoyed and confused".

"Wait, what…?" Zeiko asked. "That freaky skeleton is your old leader?"

"Yeah… Ford just set up shop here a few years ago and bought his way into the nobility of the kingdom with his Happy Happy Grass. He got them hooked on it and, well, one thing led to another and he deposed the rightful rulers of the kingdom," Doctor Worm explained.

Shaska had a puzzled expression on her face, then said "…sounds like a whole lotta things had to lead to another for that to happen."

"Move past it," Doctor Worm casually replied. "Ford's presence here helps keep pirates at bay, so the World Government didn't raise too much of a fuss. But if anyone complains about it, they vanish! Often in broad daylight!"

"We didn't see anything like that happen earlier…" Zeimaru muttered, blowing smoke.

"M-Move past it…!" Doctor Worm stammered. "The point is, my friend is gone and I need someone to find him!"

"Then how come you haven't been 'disappeared' yet?" Zeiko pondered.

"Because… because…" Doctor Worm tried to say, starting to sweat.

The agents and Shaska all crossed their arms, waiting for him to respond. Doctor Worm darted his head around, then hurriedly burrowed back into the ground, his tunnel heading toward Linnelton.

Silence rang over the crew. All that could be heard was the wind.

Finally, Zeimaru spoke up with "well, that was weirder than normal…"

"I have a feeling that's gonna come bite us in the ass soon…" Shaska said.

Shaska looked down at the mink taxi, still on its side, flailing its relatively tiny legs. She sighed and said "c'mon, guys, let's flip this sucker back over and be on our way."

The agents nodded. Shaska jumped back into the cabin of the taxi as the CPW-2 agents hopped off and set the mink taxi upright before getting back in.

—

Doctor Worm barrelled his way underground toward Linnelton in a panic. He huffed and puffed, traveling as fast as his gigantic worm body would carry him. Then, he hit an exit under Linnelton: the underground factory. The underground factory had a special tunnel just for him.

As the Minus World agitprop blared, Doctor Worm swiveled his worm head around, as if looking for someone. Rabbi Vole and the other prisoners kept to their work, not noticing the commotion.

The giant guards of the factory/greenhouse, on the other hand, did take notice of the new visitor. One gave a signal to another, and the resulting chain reaction caused the music to become much quieter, so that people could hear each other without having to shout.

"Comrade Doctor Worm! What is the matter?" asked a guard.

"I need to speak to Comrade Doctor Feelgood! Worldwide Smoke is almost to Linnelton!"

Two guards looked at each other, completely unimpressed expressions on their faces.

"You're kidding, right?" asked the first guard.

"Your entire job is to stop intruders like that…!" exclaimed the second, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Lemme guess, you pulled the 'help me find my friend' schtick again? Even after you sold him out to us…?" asked the first guard.

"I know! I know! I messed up! But just let me talk to Doctor Feelgood and I think we'll be golden! I want utopia just as much as the next worm, you know!" Doctor Worm said.

"What an idiot…" the second guard muttered before wandering off and grabbing a transponder snail. He dialed up Ford and held out the receiver so that Doctor Worm could talk into it.

"Yes… what, ah… is it…?"

"Comrade Ford! It's Comrade Doctor Worm! I messed up!"

"...again…?" Ford asked.

"Worldwide Smoke is almost here!"

"You know your, ah, entire job is stopping, ah… interlopers like that, right?"

"I know, but…"

"Shush," Ford ordered. "Here's what you're gonna… ah… do. You're gonna get your worm, ah, ass to the palace and… ah… where was I…? Oh yeah, you're gonna, ah… fight alongside the, ah, Mesomesonians. Otherwise, you're dead."

"But… I was trying to help… I was trying to lure them to the palace so you could take them out yourself…"

"I'm a busy, ah, man, comrade. I can't squash every, ah… malcontent personally! Just get your ass over, ah… here and help me kill them!"

Caaaalick

—-

The mink taxi continued its way down the highway to Linnelton. Before much longer, the taxi reached the city outskirts. Out front along the highway was a sign reading "Welcome to Linnelton. It can happen here."

"It can happen here…?" Schwarz asked. "This place is gonna be even weirder than the rest of the island, isn't it?"

And it was.

As soon as the taxi entered city limits, dishware began falling from the sky, shattering on impact. The taxi kept driving, swerving to avoid the dishes.

The giants of the city didn't seem to mind the dishes falling above them, some carrying comically small umbrellas, others not.

The buildings of Linnelton were also strange. While the rest of the island lived in simple clay houses, the buildings of Linnelton were also clay, but came in a variety of shapes, including ones that shouldn't be possible from an architectural or Euclidean geometrical perspective.

Some of the giants were standing and walking on their heads, their purple toupees perfectly glued in place. Others spoke entirely in palindromes.

Most important of all, however, was the stench of Happy Happy Grass that filled the air. Giants sat outside and smoked it openly, giggling to themselves as the porcelain dishware rained down.

The taxi moved at top speed through the streets, wishing it could plug its nose due to the stench of the Happy Happy Grass. But, after a long and confusing series of twists and turns (some of which involving the inversion of the roads), the taxi passed by a large building under a hovering sombrero, finally arriving in front of the elaborate and ornate palace.

"Alright, here's the plan, guys," Shaska explained. "We're gonna go in, squash Ford, squash his drug empire, and find any info on how to find the Twilight Kingdom, then haul ass back to the Robinson. After that, we'll head back to Fishman Island, get the rest of the navy, and sail for the Twilight Kingdom, where we'll squash the king guy for good. Capisce?"

The other officers nodded, and they disembarked from the mink taxi as the storm of porcelain dishware subsided.

Shaska gave the mink taxi its share of cat food for the trip, then told it "wait here. We shouldn't be long," to which the taxi nodded.

Out front on the steps were two large blue canary statues that monitored every move the crew made. The ten strong crew lined up in front of the palace.

"Alright, everyone. No telling what awaits us when we go in there," Shaska said, cracking her knuckles.

"Let's remember that you're not gonna fight, boss," Isha added.

"Honestly, I can't make any promises at this point," Shaska responded. "How about this? We pair off and split up throughout the palace. It'll be easier to find Ford that way."

Zeiko and Zeimaru nodded, reflexively pairing up with each other. Ren slowly sidled up to Schwarz; the two of them looked in each other's eyes, then pulled away, blushing. Johnson and Salvatore looked at each other, shrugged, and paired up. All that was left was Shaska, Lulupo, Zinnia, and Isha.

Zinnia walked up to Schwarz and said "excuse me, I would like to be paired up with Miss Ren. She and I are good friends."

Schwarz and Ren looked at each other. Both blushed again, before finally Schwarz said "maybe for the best…"

"Don't want any unnecessary… feelings to get in the way…" he added in his head.

"I'll be your partner, Schwarz, darling!" Lulupo exclaimed with a flourish.

Shaska looked down at Isha and said "looks like it's you and me, doc. You can patch me up in case my wound reopens, yeah?"

Isha rolled her eyes, replying "I think this is a really bad idea for us two specifically to go alone, but I suppose we don't have any other options."

The five pairs nodded, and Schwarz warped them up the thirty-two stairs and beyond the guards and palace door.

TO BE CONTINUED