BPOV
My head is pounding.
My mouth feels cottony and my throat scratchy.
I'm hot and sweaty.
I move too much only to have my stomach roll.
"My fucking God," I groan, trying to escape the weight I feel on me.
The weight lifts and a chill hits.
"Let me get you something—" Edward's sleepy voice fills my ears.
"Gatorade, Blue Frost," I moan, cutting him off.
"Got it," he murmurs. "I'm going to run down to the bodega down the street. If you need anything Es is in the guestroom or she might be up."
I squint because his room is too bright.
Spinning starts.
"Are you going to be okay?" he asks softly.
"Gatorade, pl—please," I manage to get out.
Edward gently shuts the door when he leaves.
I rub my legs together when I shift so I know I definitely don't have pants on, but my boobs are still jailed by my bra under my t-shirt.
Incapacitated girls don't seem like a turn-on for Edward, so I'm gonna go with he just took my jeans off so I was somewhat comfortable.
I move just slightly near the edge of the bed catching a whiff of vomit.
A flash of me puking into a trash bin flits behind my eyes.
I remember work, the bar, and pushing Jake's face away, but that's where things get fuzzy.
The slam of a door out in the hall bounces around in my skull. A tap, tap, tap wraps at Edward's door before Hadley's bed head pops in.
"Dad?" she asks.
Fuck.
I groan.
"Oh, Bella?" she asks full of surprise.
I'm covered but this is awkward as fuck.
"Hey," I croak.
She shuffles forward but stops mere inches from the bed. She must catch a whiff of my vomit in the trash bin because her face screws up.
"It's— okay," I breathe out through the nausea.
I hear another door close.
Someone sounds to be passing and Esme's head pops in looking confused.
"Hadley," Esme sighs before shooting me an apologetic look. "Bella wasn't feeling well last night. Let's give her some space."
The kid got her dad's concerned frown down, but before she can argue like her dad does, Esme is steering her out of Edward's room.
I must have forgiven Edward if I'm in his bed.
That's the only possible reason as to why I'm here.
I do remember him saying something last night about Hadley's grandmother being in town. Since both his parents are gone I surmise he was talking about Rose's mother, which means something happened with her.
Right now, however, I feel like I need to crawl into a hole and die.
Hadley had just witnessed me dying which is something I didn't want.
I just can't catch a break.
Edward's door opens. I glance at him with my bottle of Gatorade under his arm. He also has two glasses in hand, one with ice and one without.
"Ice or no ice?" he asks softly.
"Ice," I mumble my answer.
He moves the trash bin out of his way before taking a seat beside me.
I watch as he pours my Gatorade into the glass with the ice.
When he plunks a metal straw in I wonder where that came from but don't ask.
I try to sit up but I still feel dizzy and gross.
He rubs my back before he holds the straw to my lips.
I start slurping it down until I get a slight brain freeze.
"Easy," Edward murmurs, rubbing my back again.
"Trying to hydrate," I pant.
"I can see." I hear the amusement in his voice.
I take a deep breath but lift my head and open my mouth for more.
Once I drink every last drop from the glass I flop back down resting my face on the pillow, my hand grasping his thigh through his sweatpants.
"How much do you remember from last night?" he asks quietly.
My eyes close.
"Not much, but you somehow must have sweet-talked me enough that I came home with you," I say, opening one eye.
"I only brought you back so I could be there if you needed help," he explains.
I now feel like an ass.
"What happened with the dummies?"
"I assume you mean Emmett and the pup," he says dryly.
"Pup," I snort then wince.
"You didn't tell me he was still in love with you."
"Territorial, yes. Love, I think not," I tell him wryly.
"Don't," he says gently but I can see his frustration.
"Don't what?"
"Minimize how I feel about the pup or how he feels about you," he sighs.
"Jake is a family friend, we dated in high school—"
"You don't have a long list—"
"Wait, what are you trying to get at?" I ask, getting more irritated and confused with how south things are starting to go.
"You said there have only been a few guys you've been with, were you only with him in high school?"
"Yes, but I'm not sure—"
"He was your first?" he presses.
Jake was my first everything but mostly because I was bored and wanted to experiment before college. Also, I trusted him, I wasn't going to hussy it up all over Forks with just anyone.
He was a safe bet.
"Dude, you are really going to start this when you were the asshole last night?" I ask in disbelief.
I sit up gingerly trying to scan the room for my pants which seem to be nowhere in sight.
"You're right," he breathes out.
"Like you have some balls," I pant out hoping I don't ralph in front of him, but with the way he's acting, maybe I should aim at him.
"You make me crazy," he snaps, grabbing at his hair.
My eyes widen.
"I make you crazy," I huff through my nose. "Edward, you practically ghosted me yesterday. I remember you saying something about Hadley's grandmother being in town and something about custody, but a text takes about five seconds to send. Are you trying to distract me with your insecurities about Jake so we don't face the real issue at hand?"
He looks like I just slapped him, well I just technically did slap him but only on some metaphorical level.
My words slapped him with the truth!
I can't stop the vomit that follows, but do make it in time to grab the trash can.
The sweet asshole moves my ponytail behind me and rubs my back even though we were still in the middle of a heated argument.
When I'm finished I pull back. "I need Advil and more Gatorade."
"Maybe you should hold off on the Gatorade," he suggests.
"Gatorade!" I demand.
He sighs before leaving to go to the kitchen.
I try my legs out and make sure I'm not going to blow chunks before I go to the drawer that houses his sweatpants.
I shimmy them on as Edward walks back into his room with another Gatorade and a bottle of Advil in his hands.
"Trying to escape?"
"No, I need pants, so far your child and sister have been here and luckily I was covered but I don't want to take my chances," I tell him hands on my hips.
Edward can clearly see my feistiness but remains a gentleman while he pours me more Gatorade and I take two Advil from him.
I watch him take a seat on his bed as he watches me chug the pills down.
"So are we going to hash this out?" I ask him.
"Are you up for hashing this out?" he asks.
I nod slightly.
I take a seat beside him but keep my distance.
His touch is my weakness.
I don't want to cave.
He didn't respect my feelings yesterday.
"Are we at a crossroads?" I ask quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"You have a lot going on, which I completely understand. Your daughter is your priority—"
"I'm sorry, but I need to stop you there," he interrupts calmly, but the guilty look on his face doesn't escape my notice. "A lot of people have pointed out that me being a good father is admirable but the way I've treated you is abhorrible."
"I wasn't expecting that," I cool, falling a bit speechless.
"Bell, I need to learn how to balance my life out."
"I don't want to be some lesson you learn, Edward," I tell him bluntly.
"I know that, I don't want you to feel disrespected. I need to learn to text when something chaotic arises. I have a habit of wallowing and keeping everything to myself, it needs to stop," he confesses.
Again I'm left speechless.
I bite my lip.
"I'm not perfect either," I tell him warily. "I have my moments of being irrational and… difficult."
"You difficult?" he teases.
I nudge him with my shoulder.
"I had one girlfriend that surprisingly put up with me for two years," he says after a minute. "I don't want this to be one-sided between us. You deserve a present boyfriend."
I don't know why, but I get a feeling that he's being stretched thin.
"You have a lot going on, this shouldn't have to be so much… work," I sigh.
I felt like he was drowning and barely coming up for air.
"Bell—"
"I think maybe we shouldn't put pressure on this. We can be exclusive but maybe not label this. Remove some of the expectations. If it works, it works, if it doesn't then at least we tried," I say with a shrug.
"You can't want that, it's like taking two giant steps back," he's earnest.
"You need to deal with all the chaos going on around you," I tell him. "I'll still be here, but I don't want what happened yesterday to become a habit."
"It won't," he insists.
"I believe you," I say hesitantly.
His eyes search mine and he acts like I'm breaking up with him, but I'm trying to be realistic. Rose is a nightmare and I think it's fair to assume her mother is too. I couldn't imagine if Renee actually put up a fight for me with her being as big of a disaster as Charlie has described.
Hadley needed her dad and I needed to suck it up.
I glance at the clock on Edward's nightstand knowing I need to trek home for a shower if I'm ever going to make it to work on time.
I stand.
"Where are you going?"
"Home, I have work this morning," I explain. "Where's my coat?"
"You spent the majority of the night and this morning puking," he argues.
"I did that to myself, regardless of you saving me last night, I would have gone in if I had gone home. I went too hard, that's on me," I tell him before stepping out into the hallway.
I make my way to his coat rack noticing my coat, scarf, and purse hanging on a hook.
"Bella," Hadley looks surprised I'm alive.
I am too because every time I move I'm hit with dizziness.
"Hey, Hadley, I'm headed back home so I can get to work," I explain with a wave before slipping my foot into my boot.
Edward was leaning against the living room's doorway watching us.
"But you're sick," she says confused, looking back to Edward.
He shrugs.
Asshole.
"Your dad got me some Gatorade and I'm feeling much better. Sorry, I need to run home for a shower," I tell her quickly getting my coat on.
I'm a little taken aback that Edward would let me flounder like that, but I don't let that deter me from leaving.
Em and Jake are still sleeping when I get back to the apartment. Em's door is closed and Jake has the girl from the bar covering him on the couch.
They're both semi-clothed but I'm not happy about them possibly getting it on, on my couch.
I hurry to my room to grab some clothes and a towel before slamming the bathroom door closed and starting the shower.
I hear Jake's groan from the other side of the door and I can't help but smile.
The shower perks me up, so when I exit seeing Jake and his lay of the night quietly talking, I make sure to call them out about fucking in my home.
"Seeing as you both don't live here I think it's safe to say you can leave now," I say as I pass to get my shoes and coat on.
"Bells—"
"Save it, I got work."
Even though I woke up dying I seem to be feeling much better when I enter the restaurant. No one is in the lounge so I change in peace.
Aro made these bacon, egg, and cheese pastry things that reminded me of Pillsbury Toaster Scrambles for the staff brunch. I don't voice this to him though, because he might never make them again.
I tell Jazz about my morning leaving out all the barfing I did.
Edward came in quietly taking a seat beside me as I ate.
He doesn't get real lovey-dovey with me but keeps his arm resting around my chair. I think what I told him this morning is the right call.
We only see each other but throw out expectations for now.
I'm an idiot, but I need to at least protect my heart.
I recite this when Rose has the nerve to enter the restaurant with an older statuesque blonde woman, who I assume is her mother.
Great.
A/N: I do have a plan... Happy Holidays!