BPOV
"Did she say why she wanted us to come to the brunch?" I ask Esme quietly so Hadley won't hear me from her seat in the back of the rental.
For the past two days, the guys have been participating in the family activities at the rehab facility. I knew after spending a whole day there yesterday that Edward was done.
It was Rose who called Esme last night asking if we could bring Hadley today. I'm still shocked that she asked for me specifically.
Esme at first was skeptical, well she might still be skeptical.
She didn't say it to Rose, but we went out last night after she got the call and she voiced it to me. Esme has always been wary of Rose, but mostly from what she saw of Vera's parenting.
She explained Rose to be an agent of chaos if you will. Rose never followed their rules when she lived with them. She was always gone for days at a time and when she was home she was combative and high.
Esme knew deep down that Vera failed Rose, but she also felt like she and Carlisle failed her somehow too.
As soon as she said it I told her she never failed me. I'm a twenty-three-year-old lost girl who was abandoned by her mother, and though I might not know much about mothers, she's been a really good one to me.
We might have been tipsy and bawling in the bar but I meant every word.
I didn't tell her this, but even though she was Edward's sister, she was a good mom to him too. He looks up to her and values her opinion above all else.
Renee has been calling me once or twice a week trying to convince me she's a good mother and I like to ignore those calls. Phil reached out for the first time last week, I made the mistake of picking up from an unfamiliar number, never again will I do that.
He wanted to introduce himself and I thought it was weird. Clearly, he doesn't have an honest relationship with Renee because if he did he wouldn't be calling me to get to know me. His wife clearly told him some delusional piece of fiction about her trip here.
Charlie called her a narcissist when I told him about the call and I have to say I agree with him. She made this about her instead of thinking of me at all.
It pissed me off but I learned my lesson.
You can always count on Renee to be Renee.
"She said she needed a break from Edward and Carlisle," Es murmurs back.
Edward I understand, he was probably bringing down the mood especially due to his strong dislike of Rose, but Carlisle was team Rosalie.
"Carlisle?" I question.
"He's always been overbearing when it comes to her. It's like he's trying to make up for what he feels are his failures," she explains quietly.
"She's a grown-ass adult and even when you got her she was still a legal adult. He needs to see that," I tell her, annoyed that people blame themselves for other people's actions.
I've learned over the past few months that only you can be accountable for yourself, that is if you choose to be.
"You know I agree," she tells me as we pull up to the valet.
I turn to look over my shoulder at Hadley in her seat.
She's excited and has been excited every day of this short trip.
She has her mother back.
I know this because she confides in me.
I don't tell Edward that she can feel his bitterness rolling off him where Rose is involved. I've witnessed the way he reacts to the questions Rose asks Hadley.
He snaps into the phone.
He doesn't trust her.
I only know the Rose that I've experienced so I don't have much to go on, but Hadley's face instantly falls when he does it. She chooses her words when he hovers.
He reminds me of Charlie.
He's a great father and puts Hadley first, but the more Rose is trying the more he resents her.
"Bella?" Hadley asks as I open the back door for her.
"Yeah, Sweets?" I ask wrapping an arm around her when she hops out.
"Will you be okay?" she asks.
I halt our steps.
Esme falters when she notices we've stopped following. I wave her on to go in before I crouch down to Hadley's level.
"What do you mean?"
"I know my mom hasn't been nice to you–" she explains quietly as she trails off.
Understatement.
"Sweets, you need to not worry about me. She is your mom and we are adults. For you, we both need to learn to coexist," I tell her as I pull her into me for a hug.
"But Dad—"
"Don't worry about your dad, that's my job," I tease.
She laughs but I can still see the worry etched on her face.
This kid.
I tug her hand and we join Esme at reception to check in. The girl at the desk looks bummed out when she notices we are the ones who brought Hadley today. I bet she is.
Hadley knows her way around and shows us where we need to go.
Edward explained that the vibe here was tense. Many of the residents' families weren't thrilled to be spending their time here. He said the family therapy sessions were also uncomfortable, but knowing Edward, he most definitely didn't share.
He did, however, tell me about the lengthy apology Rose had given him yesterday. She acknowledged being manipulative in her youth and how she felt like Edward was a conquest. He was very popular with the ladies and if he noticed her then she was worthy somehow.
He told me he hated hearing every word of it. He regretted a lot of his past, the way he treated the woman he had been with. I knew this because he voiced it when I used to tease him for being a charming Lothario.
That was before our mutual confessions of love. He's supportive, a great dad to Hadley, and loves me more than anyone has before.
That's why being here has me on edge.
I need to get along with Rose for Hadley's sake and I'm pretty sure I'm not going anywhere anytime soon.
Edward and Hadley have become my favorite people and I couldn't imagine a future without them. That feeling was big and scary for me. They came out of nowhere and I wouldn't want it any other way.
As soon as we're off the elevator, Rose is greeting us. She hugs Hadley first, then Esme, and shyly holds her hand out to me.
It's weird but I guess that's what happens when you lose pieces of your memory. You're shitty to someone and suddenly get to forget every horrible thing you've done to that person or that they even existed.
I take her hand in mine and shake it.
This couldn't be more awkward.
She smiles when we let go and pulls Hadley to her.
The way she holds Hadley in her arms as we walk to our table shows me how much Rose has missed her. I watch the conversation flow easily between them and feel a pang in my chest.
I don't think it's jealousy, but I feel something akin to loss maybe.
Hadley's mother is trying for her.
It is clear that Rose loves her, she just doesn't know what to do with that love possibly. Maybe it overwhelms her like it does me sometimes.
Esme squeezes my shoulder, I glance at her noticing her concerned smile.
"Emmett says you've been writing," Rose says casually, breaking my moment with her aunt.
I grit my teeth for two reasons.
One, it's none of her business, and two, Em has a big fucking mouth.
I have been writing.
I don't know if it will become anything, at the moment if I were to call it anything it would be a collection of essays. The theme seems to be what makes a mother.
It's mostly written from experience and observation.
I won't let anyone read it.
"Uh, just getting thoughts out," I say nonchalantly.
"Is that something you want to do?" she asks.
I shrug.
Esme frowns.
"I think Bella should write a book," Hadley encourages.
She's heard Edward say that.
I brush it off asking about the brunch menu as I decide to give that my full attention.
I can feel Esme's eyes on me.
Everything about this was weird.
Rose was being too nice which made me tense. I could see why Edward has been a grump all weekend. I only knew Rose for four months before she OD'd and her new personality is disarming to me. He's known her since she was a kid so this Rose was probably very Twilight Zone to him.
I remain distracted the more Rose and Hadley chat about anything and everything. Esme adds a comment here and there all while I wonder why I am here.
Rose was thriving here and that only meant that it was only a matter of time until she was back in all our lives.
Esme announces she needs to go to the bathroom and Hadley offers to show her where it is, leaving me alone with Rose for the first time in months.
"I owe you an apology," Rose says a minute after they leave us.
"For?"
"The way I treated you before—"
"You remember?" I ask surprised.
"No, Emmett has filled me in on the way I treated you when I found out about you and Edward," she explains while looking a little ashamed. "I can't say I know exactly why I did it other than jealousy."
"Jealousy?"
"I was a little in love with Edward, now it's embarrassing, but I think it was mostly because he was the only guy to never show me any interest. After we had Hadley, I think I finally realized how much of a burden I became to him," she confesses and I'm a little thrown by her honesty. "Therapy is a totally enlightening mind fuck."
"Therapy is what brought you to that conclusion?" I ask skeptically.
"I knew I was attracted to Edward but the more I've talked one-on-one to my doctors and in group I see what it was. I had no self-worth," she admits.
"And now you do?" It wasn't meant to be mean, I am just trying to understand.
"I'm… getting there. I can only blame myself for my drug use, but Royce played a huge part in my self-loathing and spiraling," she addresses.
I nod, catching sight of Esme and Hadley returning to our table.
Hadley has this nervous look etching her features so I give her a smile and wink to ease her nerves.
She releases the breath she's holding.
At this moment I decide that no matter what happens with Rose and her sobriety, I need to step up. Be the person in Hadley's life who puts her first and can take on the world for her. Edward does that, but Rose clouds his judgment when she makes her own lapses in judgment.
The rest of the afternoon I learned more about Rose than I originally knew. She is a talented artist, she has grown fond of Emmett and she wants to be Hadley's mother.
The last part I can see the determination in her when she discusses her future plans in family therapy. I don't miss the look of doubt on Esme's face either.
I hope that it isn't this place giving Rose the confidence to be the person she wants to be and that once she's back in the city she can continue to stay this honest and optimistic.