A/N: Once a month updates...I know. At least it ain't a dreaded two-month or year later. Just say'n lol And a huge thanks to those that faved, followed, and reviewed :)
I'm not pure.
At this point of my life, I can't say I'm as innocent as one would guess. I had sex with Luka Megurine. Not to mention on the first day I met her. From there on, it was natural to start where we left off. During a house party, under my own roof, inside the janitor's closet, it's sufficient to say that I've become sort of her fuck buddy.
Now on the list is her car.
It was supposed to be a little tour of the interior. A Megurine Fox X5 is what she mentioned before leading me to the passenger side. I was in awe the first second I entered it, from the smell of brand new leather seats to its state-of-the-art mechanism. The only familiar part about it was the clutch that I instantly recognized as a 7-speed manual transmission.
"This is so amazing," I gushed.
"Don't get too into it," Luka snickered, "It's just bells and whistles with a little shine."
"Oh, c'mon," I smiled, "It's my first time being in something like this. Are we going for a ride?"
"Something like that."
My fascination for her car diminished at that point. All that I could focus on was Luka's sudden sultry voice and the soft contact of her hand crawling beneath my skirt. She bit her lip; eyes darted to my mouth before reaching over to engulf me in a searing kiss. I whimpered the second I felt the hot contact of lips and tongue.
"Mm!"
She swallowed my moans. All the while, her hand aggressively pulled me deeper into our kiss, the other sneaking its way between my legs. Despite the eagerness of my hips swaying against the friction, I kept locking my thighs. Luka grunted at this constant action, frustration clear in her eyes as she teared away from our kiss.
"What is it?" she panted.
It was hard to comprehend yet the words slipped out of me with ease.
"I can't."
The beauty sighed; a familiar scene before her as I struggled to explain.
"It's just that…well…I don't know…"
"Is it me?"
My neck snapped up. Panic in my eyes as I instantly retorted to her assumption.
"No! Not at all, it's just that Li-
I bit my tongue, a desperate attempt to cover the blonde's name.
"L-lately I've just been…off."
"Well, I can fix that," Luka snickers, "If you just let me get you…off."
She attempts to resume our feverish session but I maintain control. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't. I've been stabbing Lily in the back since the night of the party.
I couldn't add another.
"Luka, no."
"Seriously, again?"
"I'm just not into it right now."
"You say that a lot."
"I mean it this time."
An awkward silence commences. And just when I feel the urge to break it, Luka finally speaks.
"Shit, and I got myself all riled up for nothing," she mutters, "I have the equivalence of blue balls right now, thanks to you."
She throws her hands up, an endearing sight before me as she pouts and sinks deeper into her seat. I'm almost tempted to let her have me as I watch such an adorable expression grace her features.
"S-sorry," I whisper, "I would but it's just that…well, not today."
"Is it because of what I did?" she asks, "You know I'm not sorry. Don't bother trying to get me to apologize."
God damn, she's stubborn.
"It has nothing to do with that! Although it should considering how diabolic it is!"
"Diabolic? It's called being careful, Miku," she scoffs, "At least Kaito will fuck off now."
She's right. Kaito will indeed back off but that doesn't give her the excuse to get away with what happened. For now, I've allowed it to slide but only because of the massive sex appeal I've penetrated in Luka. She was turned on by my unintentional 'outing' hence the reason why we are in her car in the first place.
You see, before that, I found out that Neru wasn't as solely responsible as I assumed. It made sense to put all the blame on her as she's usually quick to spew lies. And although it did all start because of her slip-up, there was a greater influence among her that allowed such a misunderstanding to evolve into something more.
*Flashback*
"Neru Akita!"
The second she heard my voice, the blonde tried bolting out the locker rooms. My god, she looked so guilty. I was surprised she feared me to begin with. Neru always had the upper hand when we we're kids. I was her follower and she was the boss. I played maid and she played head of the house. She was Barbie and I was…well, I was never Barbie. Point is I never had the upper hand.
Until now, that is.
"Don't run away dammit!" I shouted.
"I swear it came out of my ass, Miku!" she hollered across the locker rooms.
It was ridiculous how I was chasing her. And as some students couldn't help but watch with amusement, an audience began to form.
"What's going on?"
"Neru is going to get her ass kicked I think."
"See, I knew it was only a matter of time."
Funny how even strangers could understand my anger, this was getting all the more ridiculous.
"Neru, either own up or fuck up!" I hollered, "Choice is yours!"
A series of curses followed by a clank of locks and a difficult door, all the while Neru was running out of options. She had no choice but to cross me eventually. And when she mistakenly did, I took full advantage of the opportunity.
"Neru!"
"I swear Miku, it wasn't entirely me!"
"Oh that is just splendid!" I sarcastically add, "Is that supposed to make me feel better?!"
"Just let me explain!"
"Why should I!?"
"Because we're family!"
"Oh, so now you noticed?" I scoff.
"Just LISTEN TO ME!"
Neru does the unthinkable and as much as I would like to deck her for touching me, I allow the change of scenery to occur. She leads me outside by an unoccupied space near the gym. She's so nervous it's uncharacteristic to see her so shaken up by my outburst. Sometimes I'm so scary, I don't even notice it.
"Okay," she sighs, "It was supposed to be a joke, okay?"
"Some joke letting the school mistaken me as a homosexual!"
"God dammit, Miku, it's not a mistake," she sneers, "You ARE gay, I grew up with you. I would know this!"
"You're not helping the situation," I mutter, "Any second and I'm about to pound you, Akita."
"N-no, I meant as in-ugh! Okay, it went like this. I was talking to Meiko and you came up. She was paranoid about you and Kaito and, for fear of your social safety, I assured her that you weren't interested in her ex-boyfriend. I know, sounds weird that I defended you but just know it took me insulting your taste in men to do so."
I roll my eyes.
"Anyways, by the time I was off bad-mouthing how horrible your dating lifestyle is, Luka showed up and somehow the mention of Oliver caught her attention. And along the way, my joke turned into this assumption that you were probably interested in girls."
Luka met Oliver so I'm not surprised she took interest in my ex-boyfriend. That exchange was very intense. As expected from Luka, a classy argument with classic results.
"And what was the joke?" I asked, "Better yet, how did it lead to an assumption?"
"Well, I said you might as well be interested in girls," she mutters, "It was a fucking expression but Luka took it farther. She just threw it out there that you're probably curious to play for the other team. And the rest just naturally became what it is now. Point is, with Luka's addition, people were bound to take it seriously. I mean, she could start a rumor that I have a penis and they would believe it first day she said it."
Luka.
All it took was one little comment from Luka herself and the whole school listened. Social hierarchy at its worst, I must say.
*End of Flashback*
I should have been more than devastated that Luka was involved. Only problem was that it was hard to stay angry.
"I like it."
"Well, I don't!"
It was a day filled with confrontations and while I was struggling to stand my ground, Luka was tearing my barriers with ease.
"All I said was that it would make sense, okay?" she sighed, "I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't help it."
"From now on, why don't you just keep your mouth shut?!" I snapped, "Do us all a good favor."
"It wouldn't be a favor to you though," she cheekily adds, "You like it when my mouth is ope-
"Oh god," I groaned, "Why do you I let you get away with this?"
"Because you let me."
Before I can retort, she kisses me. Our hungry and feverish kiss resumes. Hands pull me further in, her hot, moist mouth engulfing my own. Before I can counter yet again with my reluctance, Luka suddenly shifts from her seat and onto my lap. I whimper at the feeling of her jeans against my skin. Even through the material can I feel her heat radiating with irresistible warmth. I moan at this, my hands holding onto her grinding hips as she increases the friction between us. I feel my thigh grow numb with every aggressive sway and push. Luka's already near climax and I can't fathom it's simply because of me.
Her hands hold onto the seat, a vice grip dangerously close to tearing into the expensive material. Her breathing quickens, whimpers turn into moans, hips savoring each thrust with a painfully slow and sensual rhythm. Suddenly, she becomes stiff, body quivering as she twitches from the waves fluttering the walls within her core. She lets out a low moan, clutching onto me as she rides the aftereffects of her orgasm. It happens so fast but I bask in the moment. Luka's embracing me, panting in my ear.
That moment, an idea crosses me by. It's bold and risky but I can't help but take the chance.
It could go many ways and I hope dearly she allows me to see her in such a state. My hand creeps down her torso, past her waist, and just below her hips. My fingers itch at the feeling of her jean's button. I'm so tempted to feel her, take it, and even taste her. Unfortunately, before I can even try unhooking the damn thing, Luka slaps a hand around my wrist. I cry out. A vice-grip so hot and dangerous, it's sure to leave a mark.
"Easy there," she whispers, "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."
"Too late for that," I mumble.
She leads my hand to her lips, experimenting with my fingers in a slow and sickly but sweet manner.
"Wait," she whispers.
I'm not allowed to touch her, I see. She makes it painfully clear. And despite the excitement from her over-dominating role, I can't shake my sudden frustration. Not until I face the problem will I be able to enjoy an aftermath such as this. I'm the type to seek closure immediately after a problem occurs. And right now, there's more than one gnawing at my mind.
"I need to go."
Silence brews. Luka's expression morphs into one of intense curiosity. Her eyes focus deeply at my stare, almost as if she's waiting for me to break from the growing tension. To her disappointment, I don't budge and she sighs in disapproval.
"Okay."
She removes herself from my lap and sits back on the driver's side. Yet, before she can start the engine, I storm out of her car.
"Where are you going?"
I don't answer.
"Miku!"
She chases after me, blocking my way as soon as soon as she reaches me.
"What's gotten into you?"
I want to be honest and tell her everything. Only all I can really complain about to her now is a certain injustice.
"Don't you think it's hypocritical of you to be in favor of this?"
She blinks.
"As in?"
"The rumor, I mean."
"Well, it's not much of a rumor if you think about it, Miku."
"That's no one's business," I add, "In fact, how could you be okay with everyone talking about me like that?"
"I'm not," she says, "And what gives if they do? You don't care what people say. I like that about you, Miku."
"Unfortunately, I can't say the same about you, huh?"
She stiffens. Eyebrows lower with a dangerous gaze as she replies.
"I have no choice, Miku."
"Bullshit."
"You wouldn't understand. You don't belong to a name as revolutionary as mine."
"You're a fucking human, Luka. Not a brand."
It stings her and as a result, she closes the distance between us. She stands before me, a dangerous aura emitting through her as she threatens me with cold, dark eyes.
"Get in."
Hot damn, she's angry.
"Get in the fucking car."
I admit. She's intimidated me. And the worst part is that it's beyond tempting to comply. Miraculous enough, I manage to stay still but my god, is it excruciatingly difficult not to give in. She's so close I can practically feel the scorch of her heated gaze. I can't even utter a word.
"Get in," she whispers carefully, "And I'll let you take the lead."
Holy shit!
My eyes widen and she smirks.
Luka's offered a dangerous compromise. And as a result, I've allowed myself to dwell in the possible scenario. Hands traveling down with ease against glistening sweaty skin, hot and heavy breaths emitting through moist and bruised lips, all the while Luka's vulnerability is exposed and I'm taking control of her body and mind. I'm struggling to snap such scandalous thoughts from my mind.
Slowly and sneakily, she takes ahold of my hand. A suggestive grin as she continues to whisper sultry and tantalizing words.
"You want to feel me, right?"
I gulp.
"Don't you?"
A traitorous whimper escapes my lips.
"How tight I am…my taste…how rough I like it," she whispers, "You want to give me what I deserve?"
The deepest depths of Luka's desires penetrate me, snapping my levels of restraint one by one. And as a result, I curse loudly before my pride almost diminishes.
"FUCKING SHI-
"There you are!"
Oh thank god. I have never been more thankful in my life before. Avanna, out of all people, has become my savior and I can't describe the total wash of relief soothing my mind and soul at the moment.
"Luka, you seriously need to stop disappearing. Coach Haku specifi-
The brunette stops mid-sentence, immediately sensing the thick and intense tension surrounding us.
"Uh…am I interrupting something?"
Luka doesn't budge. She was close to breaking me. So close that it's tormenting her. I can tell; her eyes are gleaming with undeniable detest upon me. She absolutely can't simply let it go. I could make things worse for her if I wanted to. A smile would definitely cause her anger to tenfold. She's already raging inside with adrenaline and hormones. It would be a death wish to taunt her right now. Smart thing would be to simply step back and walk away.
Luka is the first to do so and despite her calm demeanor, there's a fire raging within her. She swears under her breath and that's enough to confirm it all.
"Did something happen?" Avanna asks.
"No." Luka replies.
It's cold and firm but just enough to make me flinch. They depart toward to school, all the while I can't help but watch Luka's backside. I don't indulge in fantasies nor do I regret denying her. But I do wonder just how deep I could have marred that back of hers.
Perfect skin makes my eyes itch.
Walking home will certainly ease some of this tension. Luka was supposed to give me a ride. Only "ride" that did occur was between my thigh and her hips. I didn't realize how red the skin underneath my skirt has become. It's almost as if she burned me with her jeans.
"Oh god," I whimper.
I'm turned on by this. I can't help it by now.
"Stupid, sexy Luka," I mutter.
By the time I'm halfway home, I'm pissed at myself. I'm 2 miles away from home and the bus doesn't sound so bad right now. Only problem is I don't want to be surrounded by people when I'm extremely hot and bothered. As for distractions, Miki's been lagging on responses thus dropping the conversation. She sounds dead; her words are random and simple lol's aren't something Miki usually responds with. There's something wrong and I know exactly who to blame.
At the thought of the blonde, I begin to wonder where she stays at. At this point, I'm more than willing to crash her home and demand an explanation for her sudden absence. More than that, I would like to punch her for hurting my best friend. I knew what Lily was capable of and she did exactly what I feared. So with anger brewing inside me, I send her another text message. So far, my recent texts have not yet been responded to. Not to mention that half of them are all threats.
Message to Lily:
By now I'm guessing your phone has been stolen or broken. Whatever the case, you've been absent school for half of this week and that's my main concern. I won't be surprised if you don't respond to me. You're probably in a shit mood but I wouldn't know why because WELL HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW? I'm angry of course but at least tell me what's up so I can stop worrying about you. We're friends right? So be a friend and let me know that you're not dead. Yes you hurt my best friend and I would just LOVE to K.O your face but I can't punch a fucking corpse :P You would understand I'm sure. BTW if this phone is stolen and currently being read by some stranger jerkoff, go fuck yourself you heartless asshole. Karma will get you eventually you piece of shit.
I send the message and hope for the best. Suddenly, within a minute, my phone vibrates. Of course, Lily is the first to come to mind. The thought of her finally responding shoots adrenaline through me.
4:24 pm
Kaito: Ur still mad? :(
God dammit!
It's Kaito.
I groan and curse. And while I'm at it, I kick a random rock just for the hell of it. Sounds cliché but it just happen to be there at the moment. And while I'm struggling to keep myself in check, I can't help but notice another coincidence. Or should I say life-threatening situation.
From across the street to the opposite pavement, the rock rolls into the shadow of an unfortunate presence. Familiar blue eyes, blonde locks, and a hardened gaze, Oliver looks close to resembling an alien child from 'Village of the Damned'. This isn't a coincidence; it can't be.
Our eyes lock, an awkward and most disturbing moment for me. And while Oliver smiles, I continue to gape at him in horror. Somehow, he gets the idea that my expression means 'come over' and begins to make his way to the corner of the nearest intersection. Of course, I freak out from this and desperately search for a means of escape. At this point, violence is an option. I have every reason to kick his ass.
Luka comes into mind, a recent conversation replaying in my head as I remember her words.
'Just hit me up, whenever', she said.
Well, that could be of great use right now. Only problem is I'm too chicken-shit to dial her number. After our latest encounter, I'm not sure she would be willing to do what she so heroically offered. I'm debating whether to take a chance or not.
Seems I don't have to now.
A familiar figure has spotted me. His Dodge Charger pulls up besides the curb and he hollers my name. How he found me, I don't know. But I can care less now as I'm desperate to escape my current ordeal. By now, Oliver is rushing across the intersection and it's only a matter of time. I enter Kaito's car without a second thought. And right away, I order him to burn rubber.
"DRIVE MAN! DRIVE!"
He jumps before observing my distraught state.
"What's wrong? Why do-
"Kaito! Just go!"
"Go where?"
"ANYWHERE BUT HERE! JUST DRIVE!"
"Are you-
"DUDE! GO OR-OH GOD!"
Oliver is standing by the passenger's side window; a creepy sight indeed.
"Who the hell is that?" Kaito asks, "Boy scout?"
"Oh man!" I groan.
"Miku, I know you're in there."
"Hehe, he sounds English," Kaito snickers.
Oliver pounds at the window. That's enough to get the jock riled up.
"That little shit just smack my car?! Hey, crumpet boy!"
Uh oh.
"You got some nerve you little cocksu-
"Kaito!"
This will get ugly if I don't intervene. I don't know a lot about the jock but I'm sure he will have no trouble beating Oliver to a bloody pulp.
"Hey, hey! I don't mean any trouble!"
"Should have thought about before you hit my window with your greasy fish n chip fingers!"
"Kaito! Oliver, stop!"
I can probably hold back Oliver but it will take a miracle for Kaito to cool down. Meanwhile, my ex-boyfriend looks close enough to cry or crap his pants. I wouldn't be surprised if he did both right now.
"You need to step back!"
Kaito does the opposite and Oliver cringes. Toe to toe they stand. And as Kaito continues to intimidate the blonde, an audience begins to form. From a bystander's perspective, the jock looks like the bully. A total misunderstanding occurs and a few pedestrians try to de-escalate the situation. That's where I come in.
"Kaito, let's please leave!" I holler.
It does no good. The jock's ego is taking over.
"Miku, this kid needs to learn some manners!" he adds, "Let me take care of this!"
"You're only making it worse!" I beg, "Besides, I know him, he's-
Shit.
I shouldn't mention Oliver's past role in my life. Kaito would for sure pound him. I could just see it. I'm desperate at this point and logic seems to have no effect on the jock. As for Oliver, his next words immediately cause me to panic.
"Listen here! I didn't intend to cause you any discomfort. In fact, I just wanted to talk to Miku!"
"Oh, so you meant to bother Miku?!"
"N-no! I mean I just wanted to-
"You stalking her or something?!"
Oh no.
"Kaito! Wait!" I shout.
Kaito sure is quick to catch on when he's pissed. I might as well try the stupidest attempt at calming a boy's heart. And what I'm about to do, I know I'll regret it forever.
I kiss him.
I could sense Oliver watching in horror which makes it slightly worth it. As for Kaito, my bold action successfully shuts him up. It's amazing what a girl is capable of. Our power over men is so easy yet so degrading sometimes.
I feel gross but I just saved Oliver's life. And made it worse at the same time I suppose.
The blonde shrieks and I manage to lead Kaito to his car. He's strangely calm, all the while a dreamy expression on his face as I pull him to the driver's side.
"D-did you just-
I slam the door before he can finish. I don't need to be reminded. Unfortunately, I know I won't be able to ignore it for the next few minutes.
I notice Oliver simply standing on the sidewalk, frozen and seemingly traumatized. I disregard him and enter the jock's car. Noticing this, the blonde pulls an over-dramatic move by dropping to his knees. Bystanders look on with curious and awkward expressions.
"Damn teenagers," a pedestrian mutters.
After a slap to his arm, Kaito snaps out of his stupor.
"Shut up and drive," I order.
He obliges, all the while a stupid smile on his face. The ride is awkward. I play oblivious, cutting Kaito off as he tries to confirm my recent embarrassing action.
"You ki-
"No."
"Miku, you ki-
"No."
"C'mon, you-
"NO."
"Just admit that you ki-
"Kick your ass is what I'm going to do if you don't simply drive me home."
He smiles.
"You kissed me."
I groan.
"Yes I did, okay?!" I add, "Now pretend it never happen, it's disgusting to think about."
He pouts and I cringe at the scene.
"Ew, don't do that."
"Do what?"
"It's not cute."
"What is?"
"You're not cute so knock it off."
Silence brews.
"But I'm cute enough for you to kiss me."
"Dammit Kaito, it was the only way to get that little brain of yours to finally function. I should have just kicked you in the balls but that would have given Oliver an advantage."
"Who's Oliver?"
I sigh.
"That boy you almost murdered."
"Oh, yeah," he laughs, "That boy you kissed me in front of."
Oh god. I'm tempted to jump out of this car.
"Kaito! I've kissed people before so don't feel special!"
Well, I've only kissed four. Lily's was trying to prove a "point" but it was just unpleasant. And the only one I actually enjoyed is Luka. The thought of her instantly washes me over with shame. It's strange but I feel guilty. I know there's no reason to but I can't help that I like her so much.
"Something wrong?"
A dry-laugh escapes me. The thought of Luka instantly depresses my thoughts.
"Am I that obvious?"
"Well, you just got quiet for some reason," the jock adds, "Pretty strange right after you practically screamed at me."
"Sorry," I mumble.
"Meh, I'm used to it," he snickers, "I dated Meiko, remember?"
It comes off jokingly but the reminder of his ex-girlfriend just furthers my thoughts on Luka. I can see why those two are best friends now. At least Meiko is upfront meanwhile, Luka likes to smile and pretend. Good cop and bad cop, I see.
-was enough after that. You couldn't blame me."
I'm guessing Kaito is talking about his past relationship with the brunette. Either way, I haven't been paying attention.
"My friend, Gakupo, always told me so but well, what the hell does he know? He dated Luka and she, ugh, you can't imagine how difficult she-
"Wait, what?"
Now he's caught my attention. I'm highly curious to know about Luka's past. I remember Lily mentioning a phone full of history between her and the beauty. I never felt the need to pressure the blonde about it. Although, I'm starting to worry if that phone is doing more damage to Lily than the simple thought of Luka. Going through old messages and pictures of an old lover can be very painful. I don't need experience to know that. It's common sense.
"My friend, Gakupo, you met him at my party, remember?"
"Yeah, I remember him," I mutter, "But what makes you think Luka is difficult? She seems really nice…"
I'm lying of course. I'm more than aware of Luka's ridiculous stubborn behavior.
"Oh she seems nice," Kaito scoffs, "but she did my boy dirty. She cheated on him. Never said who but it's made Gakupo very paranoid. Any guy she's with and he gets out of hand. You saw it, just randomly punched Luka's date. I got hit trying to separate the two. Bruise healed in time though, not so bad."
He sighs.
"But you know you should be careful with Luka. She's got this, I don't know, power it what I think of it. She's just so…I can't explain it but I think she's fake. Like she comes off sweet but she's really only trying to get something in return…"
He pauses.
"I try to be nice but after the party, well, I'm not sure were friends anymore," he mumbles, "Not like I care, anyway."
Despite Luka's negative demeanor, I get the urge to defend her. Kaito may be unknowingly on point with her behavior but I just can't let him bash her.
"She's probably just insecure," I add, "Everyone is. Luka's no different."
"Pfft, sure," Kaito laughs, "Her ego grows every second. Thanks to everyone kissing her ass at school and online, Luka might as well be royalty. In some way, she is. Being a Megurine and all, I mean. She gets anything she wants. She gets bored of everything, there's just never enough for her. Typical snobby rich girl."
"Stop it, Kaito."
It suddenly irks me how he's speaking so low of her. Yeah, Luka has her moments, but I figured it a lack of control that drives her to her current extent. It's like Lily said once. There's a vulnerable side to Luka and I envy the fact that she's seen it.
"I apologize if your friends with her," Kaito sighs, "just know she isn't what she seems."
"I guess…but I don't know her enough to confirm such things."
"Take it from someone that does. Her ex-boyfriend, Gakupo, her old best friend, Lily, did she ever tell you that?"
It doesn't seem Kaito has any idea what the blonde has been through. My guess is that all he knows is that Luka replaced the blonde as cheer captain. That itself is enough to have people assuming the end of their friendship. Little does he know, it was also the beginning of a scandalous sexcapade.
"I figured they were friends as some point," I mutter, "but that's their business."
"Yeah, but Lily's my friend. I worry about her."
"I do too."
Something we can both agree on. I wonder if Kaito has noticed the blonde's recent absence.
"Lily hasn't shown up to school lately, have you spoken to her?" I ask.
Unfortunately, the jock shakes his head.
"No, sorry," he replies.
I sigh.
"Nothing at all?" I add, "No text or call?"
"Nope."
"…damn."
"Did something happen between you two?" he asks.
I can't say much to Kaito but I could at least try to get to Lily through him. They're friends after all.
"I just need to see her…do you happen to know her home address?"
It's a personal question, one that I'm not entirely sure I have the right to ask. But desperate times calls for desperate measures.
"Well...yeah."
Yes. Finally, I'm getting somewhere.
"Why do you want to see her?"
Of course, Kaito is bound to ask. I figure I can find my way around it, tell him something that contains truth yet acts an excuse as well. Technically, I wouldn't be lying. No harm done.
"There's an assignment I've received for the Journalist Committee at school. I've been trying to get ahold of Lily all week for some pointers."
"Oh, I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff,"
"Well, there's a lot you don't know about me, Kaito," I snicker, "Anyways, I really need to see Lily. My instructor has been nagging about her all week."
Kaito's convinced. His smile and twinkling eyes make it seem so but I'm afraid I've sparked something inside him as well.
"If you give me a chance, I would love to know all about you, Miku."
I tolerate it. All for Lily, I let Kaito say what he wants. It's sort of a compromise. He drives me to Lily's and I endure his discussion on the way there. I tell him I'm flattered, a continuous remark on my end. He knows the feeling isn't mutual but he still wants to try. Stubborn but with good intentions, I suppose. He mentions Gakupo; he respects the guy like a brother.
"Seems you didn't like him," Kaito snickers.
"I was just in a bad mood," I say.
Of course I don't like Gakupo. I can't help my jealousy toward him. He was romantically involved with Luka. Everyone knew. She was his girlfriend and he was her boyfriend and he had the privilege to let it be known. I envy that and I'm sure that's what tore Lily inside out. She was just a tool to the beauty, a means to escape reality, a way to actually feel "right" for once. And in the end, Lily subjected to the one thing Luka avoids.
Lily lives alone, a fact that Kaito worries about. The blonde has a tendency to party hard every weekend or so. It's a bad habit she's been struggling to break for a year now. Kaito thinks it's a bad case of senioritis, meanwhile, I'm sure it has something to do with a certain temptress.
"She's lived alone for a while, never really told me what happened to her parents," he sighs.
Lily's father used to run a business, a very notorious one at that. That much I know through her. I can't say I know much about her mom except her name.
"How long have you known Lily?" I ask Kaito.
He snickers.
"Not long enough it seems," he adds, "Even though I did know her since kindergarten. We didn't really start talking until high school. She was really shy back then."
"Are we talking about the same Lily, here?" I laugh.
"Oh yeah," he says, "She was really skinny as a kid. A little toothpick, soft-spoken kid, hung out with Meiko and Gumi. It's fucked up that they're not friends anymore but I'm not surprised to see it happen. After Luka came into the picture, Lily changed."
"What do you mean?"
I admit. I'm more than curious to know more about Luka and Lily's history. I may have heard enough from the blonde's side but it's hard from me to back away from information like this. I want to help Lily as much as I can.
"Well, it wasn't like a "bad" change. She just embraced herself more. Like, she came out in sophomore year and that's when she got replaced as captain. Luka took over and Lily became more distant after that. I never knew much about her. The only reason I know these things is because Meiko told me. Anyways, but yeah, Lily changed. If anything, her coming out gained her more popularity."
"Popularity?"
"Hm, yeah," Kaito nods, "Everyone wanted to know about her. And it wasn't just because she was gay. Lily is hot, no-brainer there. A pretty face makes a high difference."
Somehow, this feels familiar yet before I can dwell on it, we come to complete stop.
The neighborhood is quiet and most of the buildings surrounding it are apartments. It's a line between middle and working class but impressive enough for Lily to maintain a living in; especially for her age.
"It's the apartment over there, the one with the blue roof," Kaito says, "Do you want me to come with you?"
"No."
My response is quick and firm, a tone I immediately regret.
"Uh- I mean, no thanks," I smile.
He stares at me, a scrutinizing gaze that makes the next upcoming seconds unbearable.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"How about I just walk you until she buzzes you in?"
"No thanks, Kaito."
"No, really, what if she isn't there? I could at least wait for you until you get out."
"Kaito, I'll be fine, really."
He's persistent, a trait I usually tolerate from my best friend and Lily as well. Unfortunately, in his case, it's become very annoying. He cares too much.
"I'm sorry, Kaito."
He sighs.
"Don't be," he says, "I get it."
It's my cue to finally leave yet I can't seem to get out his car. I feel guilt, almost sadness from watching Kaito's mopey expression. He's disappointment and while I'm at fault, I'm tempted to lay it all out for him.
"Sorry."
I don't give him the time to respond. Part of me expects him to chase after me for some sort of explanation but he drives away instead. I'm relieved all the while, struggling with guilt over his genuine concern. Times like this, I wish it was easy for me to fall for another man. It doesn't work that way though. This is real life after all. We all have to struggle to get what we want. It makes me wonder if Luka has ever endured hardship to secure the very desire of her nature. It seems she's gotten me with ease although, lately, I've been fighting off her advances with great effort. It's taken so much out of me just to walk away.
I don't think Lily ever had that experience.
Despite the ease of spotting 'Masuda' on the buzzer, I'm hesitant to actually call in. Suddenly, luck is on my side and I notice a tenant heading toward the gate. He saves me the trouble and steps aside to let me in; a gesture that I nod to with appreciation.
The hallway is quiet and I can't shake off my uneasy state as I make my way past the doors. It's only of matter of time before I reach Lily. Number 8, I'm by number 6 now and only a few more steps left until I finally see the blonde. I just hope I actually do get to see her. Suddenly, a door opens before me and out comes an unexpected guest.
Gumi.
The second she sees me, her eyes widen and she instantly turns away. I pause and she hurries toward me without a glance. I can feel guilt radiating off her averting gaze. Her eyes are locked onto the floor, hands clenched as she scurries past me. I'm suspicious yet more than that, I'm a bit disturbed.
Gumi just came out of Lily's door.
I don't know what to think at this point. I'm trying to convince myself that it's just a coincidence. Maybe Gumi left something at Lily's place, but then I think what and how. I'm trying to sugarcoat this, trying to keep my anger at bay as I try to keep Miki's sadness from influencing my next actions. Part of me wants to knock the blonde out, then there's the part of me that wants to comfort her. I don't know what to lean toward but it's becoming difficult to ignore Gumi's sudden presence.
It could mean a lot of things.
I sustain the agonizing possibilities, all the while fists shaking with temptation to pound at Lily's door. I don't bother with formal manners; in fact, I take a chance and check to see if the door is unlocked. It clicks and the next thing I know, I find myself in a rather messy apartment. There's a distinct stench, an unpleasant one that I'm shamelessly familiar with. Aside from the alcohol and smoke, there's sweat lingering in the air. There's an unsettling vibe, almost threatening that it makes me shudder. The faint sound of The Door's "Riders on the Storm" plays from a vintage record player at the corner of the room. I notice framed posters from vintage concerts to film. There's The Animals, Pink Floyd, David Bowie, The Godfather, Rebel without a Cause. I can't walk through the room without shuffling through random items on the floor. There are clothes, take-out boxes, papers, many of them crumbled and scattered around. It's more than a mess. It's havoc. I just hope Lily isn't passed out somewhere in her room. That would be the fucking cherry on top of this shit sundae.
"Pigtails?"
I'm relieved yet unsettled when I hear the blonde's voice. It's hoarse and soft, an indication that's she's been drinking and sleeping.
"Oh man, how high am I…"
She giggles.
"Is that really you, Miku?"
She's a mess, a heartbreaking one to look at. Blonde hair completely disheveled, almost as if it's been ruffled with claws and twists and turns in the covers. A limp blunt hangs at the corner of her mouth, smoke obscuring her once lively steel-blue eyes. She's wearing a simple bra and panties, pale skin almost blending in with the white material. She's exposed and confused yet she's smiling at me without a care in the world. This is Lily so I shouldn't be surprised she's still grinning even through the toughest of times.
"Lily…"
My voice breaks, my intentions faltering as I take in the state of Lily Masuda. She looks miserable, confused, lost, it's difficult to take in.
"What happen?" I ask.
She takes a long drag and steps closer to me.
"What do you mean?" she snickers, "More importantly, if it's really you, and if so, how the hell did you find me?"
I purse my lips, thoughts rambling as I try to muster the courage to look past Lily's obvious distress. She talks so nonchalant, thanks to the drugs.
"Yes, it's really me, Lily," I say, "Kaito drove me here."
"Kaito?" she laughs, "You're taking favors from Kaito now? You fucking him too?"
It comes off jokingly, but I know Lily truly means it out of spite. There's vain in her tone, the smoke masking her features as she continues to smile falsely at me. It's an eerie sight, an uncomfortable situation that I'm struggling to just look at the blonde.
"N-no," I stutter, "I uh, um, just happen to run into him."
It's becoming more and more difficult to hold a conversation, let alone listening to the blonde's crass responses.
"Run into him?" she adds, "Is that what you call it?"
I flinch, a pang to my heart as I struggle to stand my ground. Lily's completely out of it, it's the only thing keeping me from snapping at her.
"Lily, please."
"Please what?"
"Talk to me."
"I am talking to you," she laughs.
"Lily…"
"Yes?"
She starts to fidget, lower lip trembling as she takes another hit.
"Are you okay?" I ask.
She stiffens, eyes darting back to mine with a stern and solid expression. It pierces fear into me, a feeling I'm struggling to suppress right now.
"Why the fuck wouldn't I be?"
The corner of her mouth twitches, a failing attempt to smile again.
"Look around you," she adds, "Can't get any better than this."
She walks past me, my eyes following her every movement as she makes her way to the record player.
"Sex, drugs," she snickers as she adjusts to new song, "Rock n' roll."
A familiar tune plays, "Light my Fire" and Lily begins to sway.
"I'm more than okay…I'm fucking fantastic."
Mangled angel wings on her back, a tattoo I'm staring deeply into as she continues to sensually move to the music. It's black and grey, with hints of red directing my eyes along the malevolent design. It's a gruesome but beautifully executed concept, an illusion of crimson blood oozing from the crease between her shoulder blades to the edges of the torn feathers. There's a romantic vibe, a tragic but passionate expression I can sense from it.
"Lily," I call out.
The blonde pays me no mind, continuing her silence as I observe more of her current state.
Deep red scratch marks, marring her pale skin from her neck to her lower back. I almost flinch from the sight.
"Lily," I try again.
Same result.
"LILY!"
The music cuts off, ending with a harsh scratch before Lily finally turns around.
"WHAT?!"
I jump, clutching onto myself as I struggle to respond.
"Why-w-why-
"W-w-w-why, why what?!"
She mocks me, a painful display of hatred and humor. That's all it takes for me to let my own anger finally surface.
"Say what the hell you want and get the fuck out, Miku!" Lily snaps, "I don't have time for this."
"But you have time to fuck Gumi, I notice."
"What are you my girlfriend?" she scoffs.
"No, but I AM the best friend of the girl you used for your pathetic coping methods."
"Wow, so you're actually trying to be my fucking psychologist?!"
"I'm trying to be your friend, Lily!" I shout, "So stop being so god damn difficult and let me help you!"
"NO!"
She throws a beer bottle, deliberately missing to scare me off. I don't budge though; I know Lily won't hurt me.
"Lily, please," my voice breaks, "Don't you trust me?"
"How can I?!"
She's crying now, hot angry tears threatening to spill from glistening steel-blue eyes.
"I know you've been fucking Luka," she sneers, "Tell me, does she lift her pinky up when she's fingering you?! It's Shagedelic baby, yeah!"
She laughs, a dry and sick humor encouraging her to continue her vulgar words. All the while, a second beer bottle flies past me and crashes into the wall.
"She's dirty, isn't she? Then again, that's what makes her so amazing in the first place."
Another bottle hits the wall.
"She gave me my first rimjob, y'know?"
I flinch, a sight that Lily laughs at.
"Actually, she was my first of everything. My first kiss, my first time…"
Another crash.
"My first love," she whimpers, "She was my EVERYTHING!"
An uncontrollable force continues before me, throwing and crashing whatever is in her way. From the table to the chairs, Lily's gone haywire and all I could do is stand and watch.
"She's a lying fucking CUNT!"
"Lily…"
"Fucking liar!"
Passionate, angry, frustrated with arousal over the woman she deeply despises. She lunges at a framed poster, cracking the glass with her bare fist, laughing at the now shattered face of James Dean.
"Shit, that cost me $34 dollars," she splutters, "Shit!"
I race to her, dropping on my knees before inspecting her injured hand.
"Lily! You're bleeding!"
She's panting, sweat cluttering strands of her blonde hair. Her rage has taken its toll, hangover and a consuming high fatiguing her into a weak and emotional state.
"Do you have a medical kit somewhere?!"
"I'm fine," she giggles.
"C'mon, Lily," I plea, "Where's your bathroom?"
She doesn't respond.
"Lily?"
"It's...over….there," she slurs, "Go away."
She yanks her arm from me, scooting inches away until her back meets the wall.
"At least sit somewhere safe while I get it," I whisper.
She's become child-like, moping and pouting as I struggle to bring her to a safe distance from the glass shards. It takes so much patience, so much effort just to get Lily off the floor and onto the couch. She plops down with a grunt, clutching onto a nearby pillow before sinking deeper into the leather.
"Stay here," I whisper.
With no time to waste, I hurry to the restroom. As soon as I enter it, I pick up a horrid stench emitting from the toilet. A mixture of vodka, tequila, scotch, every alcohol I can think of lingers in the air. It's overwhelming and almost suffocating that I gag. I pick up anything I can find with great speed, knocking down boxes and bottles through the rush. Band-aids, cotton balls, gauze rolls, rubbing alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, anything I can find. And with one quick scoop, I gather them and run back to Lily.
When I return, I see a relieving sight. Lily is sound asleep, gentle and steady breaths indicating that she's finally at ease. I feel her heartbeat, a safe rate by now. I sigh and resume my intention to nurse the blonde. All the while, she flinches and mutters incoherent words.
"Ta…teek…fon…..teek…da….teek da…fon…."
I catch it but just barely.
"…da….fon…ay…ate…dat…fon."
Suddenly, a constant violent vibration resounds through the room. It sidetracks me and I reluctantly begin to search for the source. The louder it gets, the deeper I explore Lily's apartment. Surprisingly, her room isn't so bad. The only thing that's disheveled is the bed. Despite that, it makes me more uncomfortable than the vomited toilet and weed-stench living room…combined.
I spot Lily's phone on the bedside table, as well as some frames and an ash tray. I notice pictures of a man, a woman, and a little girl. It's Lily and her family, no doubt about it. There's also one with just her mother, a beautiful woman with big bright-steel blue eyes and long brown hair. Her baby-face reminds me of my own mother, a thought that I force to suppress.
The phone vibrates once more, a nuisance at this point. So with a scowl, I try shutting the damn thing off. Only, I hesitate to do so as I notice a series of texts previewed on the screen.
The only names I recognize are Gumi and Maika. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I spot another phone. On the bed, contrasting deeply against the white sheets, lays an opened black flip-phone. My stomach twists at the sight, a horrid realization dawning to me.
'da….fon…ay…ate….dat phone.'
That phone, I hate that phone.
That's what Lily meant to say.
'Teek da…fon.'
Take the phone.
My breath hitches, heartbeat increasing as I continue staring at the dreaded item. I'm so tempted to snatch it, so tempted to dwell into the dangerous memories hidden within the device. All it takes is one swift motion, one simple action and I can learn more about Luka. I'm struggling to just stand still before it, reluctant and eager at the same time. Fuck, I can't…I don't…
FUCK IT.
I grasp at it, eyes focused deeply as the screen lights up. Hands shake and I navigate through a secret realm. From text messages to pictures, everything is from two years ago. My heart beats faster by the second; hands shaking as evidence of a secret affair unfold before my eyes.
Some are affectionate, some are angry, but most of it is sexual.
Luka's cleavage, sometimes without her bra, a flirty bite to the lip, lying on her bed teasingly and lovingly, Lily loved it all.
Lily: God, baby you're so beautiful. Come over.
Luka loved to tease.
Luka: Make me.
I shouldn't be going too deep with this but the curiosity is getting the best of me.
Lily: I'll make you scream
Luka: Hardly
Lily: Don't test me
Luka: Oooh so scared :P
Lily: That's it
Luka: :)
I cringe. They start another conversation until the very next afternoon. They argue.
Lily: I'm too much for u?
Luka: Yes
Lily: Wow, insensitive much?
Luka: I'm just being honest
Lily: And a bitch
Luka: Don't be like that…
Lily: I'm getting really fucking tired of this, Luka.
Luka: Then let's stop
Lily: Just like that? Really? Are you fucking kidding me?
Luka: Here we go
I have empathy for the blonde. I may not have gotten as far as she has with Luka, but if I continue whatever we have, I see myself sharing the same troubles as Lily.
Lily: Fuck you
Luka: You've done enough of that haven't you?
Lily: I'm not joking here, Luka.
Luka: That's a first
Lily: I don't know what to do with you anymore. This is too much.
Luka: I'll help you figure it out. I can take anything ;)
Lily: What the fuck are you talking about?
A photo follows, a selfie of Luka lying in bed, a horizontal view from her neck to her thighs. She's arched, breasts accentuated by a thin white crop-top. The material stretches and hugs the curves of her supple chest, nipples visible through the clothing. The side of her bare sculpted pert rear in view, an exposed thigh hooked over the sheets. Lily succumbs and Luka wins.
Lily: FUCK
Luka: ME
They have a lot of arguments and the usual result involves Lily giving in. Luka receives plenty affection from the blonde but sadly, those conversations are rare.
Luka: You're such a dork.
Lily: Your dork :)
Luka: Haha alright, it's cute I admit.
Lily: :)
Luka: You're such a puppy sometimes, I swear :P
Lily: You say that like its bad thing lol
Luka: I didn't say it was
Lily: Say you like it
Luka: Say what?
Lily: You like puppy love lol
Luka: Oh god
Lily: Oh c'mon, you like puppies right?
Luka: Yes, I like puppies
Lily: And?
Luka: And what?
Lily: Love?
Luka: I like puppies. That's as far as I'll go here.
Lily: I'll take it :)
Luka: Dork
Lily: You love it
Luka: Fine, I do now drop it
Lily: Haha
The words on the screen start to blur and I realize that I'm crying. I'm angry, guilty, sad, disgusted, confused, scared, and even a little happy. Lily got to see another side to Luka; one that I've been envying since the day I met her. And she saw more and more as the hardships progressed. It ended tragically, horribly for the blonde. Meanwhile, Luka seems to move on from it without a care in the world. It's agonizing to think how she's able to do so; especially when Lily's still struggling. It must be mental torture trying to ignore her, let alone forget their intimate past. I pity the blonde; I pity her so much that it's difficult to hold in the tears. Not just for her but for me as well.
Why do I see myself suffering the same pain?
It's fucked up, but I think I may have to. If I want Luka, that is.
Only problem is…
I don't know if I still do anymore.
A/N: I had the urge to smack myself. KaitoxMiku gives me that feeling and I'm very sorry if anyone is upset about their um...ugh, can't even say it. Imagine Luka finding out about it though...Kaito may or may not keep his mouth shut...hmm...I smell a conflict ;D Anyway, hopefully I can get the next chapter sooner than my usual updates :) It was difficult to end this chapter. There was so much I wanted to add but I'll save that for the next otherwise...longer wait for you and a fried brain for me. Until next time and thanks for reading :)