A/N: Yeah, I know. FINALLY DX I still care about this story so I'm gonna do my best to keep it up.
There are far worst things.
Like shitting your pants in the middle of class, being stranded in a dark lonely road, or crashing your father's car and never telling him about it.
There are always worst things and that's why I try not to bitch so much.
But it's hard not to when you feel like your heart's been ripped apart.
I honestly can't tell if I'm simply horny or heartbroken. I guess it's the same thing. I'm desperate to feel something, ANYTHING. My body aches, my stomach churns, and my throat feels closed-up. I feel like I can hardly breathe through the welling tears. And while Miki tries her best to console me, all I can think, see, feel is Luka Megurine.
Luka Megurine.
"That bitch!"
It's all Miki's been able to say for the past hour.
"That damn bitch! She can't get away with this!"
I chuckle, a poor attempt to ease the mood. It does no good and I remain pathetic.
"I get it, Miki."
"No, you don't. You need to say it with me!"
I try. I really do, but I can't bring myself to say it. Luka's done enough harm and I have more than enough reasons to hate her. I've been used and humiliated. What's worse is that I saw it coming. I knew what I was up against, the risks, the pain, but still I pursued her only to be left in the dust.
"Calling Luka a bitch isn't going to make me feel any better," I mumble.
"You're right, it's not. So we'll just have to slash her tires or key her car."
"She can sue us for that, y'know?"
"Fine, we'll just egg her house."
"She can sue us for that too."
"Oh, please, how much damage can an egg cause?"
"About $20,000."
"What the fuck? Really?"
I nod. A certain legal case with a certain celebrity comes to mind. I don't bother to explain though. This matter calls for all seriousness. Not jokes.
"I still think we should do something to her car," Miki adds, "Like dump tuna all over it or something…"
"Tuna?"
Miki smirks.
"Yeah cuz she likes fish…get it?"
A smirk and suddenly she's breaks into a fit of laughter on her own. I awkwardly watch her until she comes down, cutting back to seriousness.
"No but yeah, something like that."
"Just forget it, Miki," I sigh, "We're wasting our time."
It's always like this. I try to reason, all the while, Miki smells the bullshit.
"You definitely deserve an Oscar," my best friend adds, "I couldn't dare pretend like nothing's wrong."
"I'm not pretending," I mumble.
Miki scoffs.
"Oh, you're pretending alright. Just like that one time you pretended you were okay with me and Leon."
"That was different."
"Oh, please! It is so the same."
She has a point. I know she does but I'm so bitter, so reluctant to hear the truth. Miki doesn't hesitate to let it be known. Loud and clear she is, no sugar-coating, just plain and simple yet utterly painful to take in.
"She broke your heart, Miku."
And just like that, I break down. All that I wanted to say finally comes out.
"I'm so fucking stupid!"
It feels fucked up. Not just my feelings but my entire dilemma.
"I really thought I had a chance. Even when the odds were high, I still thought that maybe, just fucking MAYBE, something could happen. Like she'll open up to me and tell me what's wrong. And, you know, she did. Not as much as I hoped but it was enough for me to give a shit. And now what am I supposed to do with it, huh?! Pretend I don't know? Who the fuck does that?!"
Arms embrace my form and a familiar scene follows. My best friend consoles me and whispers sweet words, her effort is appreciated but it's too difficult to take in. I choke on my tears and sob. So pathetic I feel yet so relieved I can finally let go. I admit my intentions, all the while, taking in how naïve and foolish I was. All I want to do is be honest to myself for once.
"I just…"
A clear picture of Luka comes into my mind, smirking with a mischievous glint in her turquoise eyes.
"I really liked her, Miki."
She shushes me softly. Not minding the wetness of my tears, her lips meet my cheek with a loving peck. So motherly she's become at the moment, it makes me cry even harder.
An intervention, that's what I think of it as. My denial and delusions over Luka Megurine are finally met. She did exactly what she wanted all the while I did exactly what I've avoided all my life.
I've grown attached to a woman I barely know.
Hours later….
I wake up in cold sweat. Luckily, Miki decided to stay the night so I'm quick to fall back to sleep. Even so, the occasional nightmares continue. At one point, I couldn't tell if I was dreaming or not. I felt Miki's arms, I was aware of her presence then suddenly, someone creeps up on me. A figure across the room, long pink hair passes. She's so close, I feel as though we've really touched. Then I wake up with straining effort and drift back to a deep slumber. It feels good to let my body rest but my mind stays up to torture me.
A real shit experience it is.
And just when I think it can't get any worse, a certain blonde shows up.
It was the following Sunday. Miki was over, my dad didn't mind. In fact, he encouraged it. Miki was the perfect solution to prevent him from dealing with my awkward situation. Even so, turmoil or not, it was unpleasant anyway.
We were having breakfast. Between my father's unfiltered babbling and Miki's forced laughter, I heard the doorbell ring. I sprung up from my chair to answer. It was the most energy I felt since last Saturday night. I meant to escape but I was met with horrible déjà vu instead.
Lily Masuda was before me and all I could do was drown in awkward, painful silence. I automatically believed she found me out. And judging by her unusual quiet demeanor, there was no doubt she did.
"Well, Well, and who is this fine young lady?"
Oh god.
The absolute cringe, I can't take it.
Leave it to my dad to turn this inappropriate.
"Are you one of Miku's friends? Or am I just lucky to see-
"Dad, this is Lily, we go to school together."
I make it very clear she's just as underage as me. It's the least I could do to make this less awkward.
"Oh, well, could have fooled me."
"OH MY GOD! LILY?!"
An exaggerated welcome and, suddenly, Miki drags the blonde away. My father is confused, I, on the other hand, can't help but sigh in relief. I follow after them all the while bracing myself for what's to come.
At first glance, it seems like a lover's quarrel. Miki is riled up, scolding and throwing her hands in the air. Meanwhile, Lily remains as unresponsive and cold as she was minutes ago.
That's odd.
By now, Lily's random antics are something both Miki and I are used to. But this feels different. The blonde shouldn't be here with that kind of cold demeanor. Maybe it's not me. Maybe it's Miki that's causing her to feel that way. And with that in mind, I feel the least hopeful she didn't find me out. I think otherwise when she cuts in Miki's exaggerated tone.
"I'm not here for you."
Miki's face drops, expression morphing into one of disappointment. And just when I know she's about to blow up, a horrid realization hits me.
My phone.
Lily has it in her hand.
"Avanna didn't know who else to call."
I gulp.
"I was her second option."
I hold my breath. Steel-grey daggers aim toward me.
"You can guess who was first."
Silence and suddenly, words spew with disdain.
"Don't you just wish she actually gave a fuck? Otherwise, I wouldn't have to be here."
She smirks and not in her usual manner. It's a shit-eating grin, the beginning of a cringe-fest dilemma. Lily doesn't stray from the sarcasm or the disdain. She makes it loud and clear what she feels. And all I can do is stand here and take it. Piece by piece, word for word, it makes it all the more painful to endure.
"Now this is fucking awkward, huh? You fuck my ex and now I have to have the TALK with you? I never thought it would come to that, Miku."
"She was never your ex."
Miki's eyes dart to me. Sure, I may be caught but I won't stand for bullshit in the process. This pisses the blonde off.
"You promised, Miku."
"I don't know what came over me."
"Oh, I'm sure you know that. She likes riding face, that ring a bell?"
I see her grip tighten around my phone. I'm scared she'll chuck the dam thing at me and break it. And while I can't help but worry, I notice Miki stiffen. Despite Lily's distress, it's my best friend who is really suffering. The blonde just keeps at it, vulgar, sarcastic, blunt words pierce through her. What's meant for me is hurting her the most.
"I never thought she would apologize to anyone. She never did to me."
She catches me off guard. My phone suddenly in the air, I miraculously catch it by instinct. The screen is lit, a series of messages previewed all from Luka.
I'm sorry.
I want to talk to you.
Miku?
I don't know how to feel about it.
"Can't blame me for noticing, it was all just there, staring at me, testing me. I couldn't take it. So you probably know what I did next."
Shit.
I check my messages. Turns out Luka did call. Lily picked up. I know she did.
I'm not expecting it to be that easy but its word vomit from here on. Nothing I can say can make anything better. I'm better off letting the blonde yell and cuss me out. She doesn't though. In fact, she says worse.
"I LOVE her, Miku."
Her voice breaks along with our trust.
"You have no FUCKING idea."
Her eyes start to water. Venom spews through clenched teeth.
"NO FUCKING IDEA."
A cold gaze before she walks away. The silence makes her all the more deadly.
The next day…
We usually fool around on Monday mornings. Before we reach the bus stop, Miki's groped my ass by now. I pretend to be offended when really I'm flattered she even likes my ass to begin with. And then we giggle and act so gay that we fart rainbows on the way to school.
That's a typical Monday morning. Yet, here we are, sitting on the bus, not a word spoken between us. Eventually, the silence takes its toll, especially after glancing at my phone for like the fortieth time.
No matter what, Luka holds on to her pride. Only three text messages and one phone call. I'm guilty to admit I'm a little disappointed. If she cared enough, she would try harder. I wish she did. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so anxious right now. And it doesn't help that my best friend seems so dead.
I was right. Despite her intentions to hurt me and only me, Miki was caught in the crossfire. In fact, she seems far more affected.
"Miki?"
She sighs.
"Yeah?"
Miki hates stupid questions. 'How are you?' usually pisses her off if she's obviously in a slump. So I pretend to be normal.
"Oliver hasn't showed up in a while."
"He better not, I'll kick his ass back to London."
"You know, Miki, there are more cities in England than just London."
"London, Manchester, Big Ben, poppy-cock, I don't care."
"Big Ben is a clock."
"I know it's a fucking clock!"
Talking doesn't work out. Miki makes it clear.
"Miku, I'm sorry but I don't want to be bothered…"
"But I'm your best friend, isn't that my job?"
She glances at me. I try my best to smile. Her lips twitch. It's the most I can get from her but it's enough. Even so, I still worry. She really cared about Lily, even if it was a risk, I didn't expect her to like the blonde that much. It's the first time I really saw her so hung up on someone. Not even her first time had this much influence on her. He was just some mistake. Lily was a gamble with high hopes.
As soon as the announcer calls out her stop, Miki is up and out. A quick hug before she leaves. No kiss on the cheek this time. She didn't forget, I know. I actually miss it.
I try to be optimistic but as soon as I'm out of the bus and walking toward school grounds, my stomach churns and I almost feel like vomiting. Thoughts overwhelm me, most consisting of Luka and her posse. I honestly don't know what to expect from Luka and Lily. Yet when I come across a certain spectacle, it's hard not to imagine that the worst has yet to come.
At first, I thought it was just some student showing off a car in the parking lot. People were taking photos, snapchatting and commenting on the display before them. My original response was to ignore the bantering crowd but I couldn't help but stop. Something wasn't right. My suspicion was clarified when I heard it.
"Shit, Megurine is gonna freak when she sees this!"
I froze.
"Tuna? Really? Why the fuck tuna?"
"Maybe she fucked around with the CEO of Starkist or Chicken of the Sea?"
"Or Bumblebee."
"Bumblebee?"
"Yeah, Bumblebee."
"Bumblebee makes tuna?"
"Dumbass, bumblebees make honey."
"I meant the company, idiot."
Dread suddenly overcomes me and I rush through the crowd. My mouth drops at the sight before me.
Under the hot sun was Luka Megurine's car bathing in dripping wet tuna.
A display that offended both sports-car fans and seafood lovers at the same time, I knew right off the bat who to blame. I wasn't surprised to see the culprit standing next to the mess.
Lily stood with pride, a bucket in her hand as she smirked at the crowd. She said nothing as she poured another batch of the slimy substance over the hood of Megurine's grand-tourer. The crowd winced. Most continued to laugh. I watched in complete horror.
I felt bad for Luka. Shit, I felt even worse for me because the second Lily spotted my presence, her demeanor changed. Her brows furrowed, steel-grey eyes locked onto me with a cold, harden scowl. It was obvious what it meant.
We were no longer friends.
She hated me and there was more humiliation to go around. I feared for what's to come.
"No people, this is no senior prank."
I gulped. Her eyes continued to stare into mine.
"I got something special saved for that."
I was screwed. I was royally screwed. And no one had a clue except me.
Later…
Paranoia had reached new levels in me. During lunch, I fidgeted so much that Rin was beginning to fear I was on something.
"Miku, are you sure you don't want to go to the nurse?"
"Why would she go to the nurse?" Cul added, "She's high. Not sick."
"Guys, I'm not high and I'm not sick."
"Then why are you all jumpy?"
I picked at my salad some more, my plastic fork nearly breaking against the cheap Styrofoam plate.
"Just one of those days," I said.
Rin and Cul glanced at each other. Both skeptical but they kept it at that. They proceeded like any other day all the while I was grateful they pushed my awkwardness aside. They assumed I was on the verge of my period. It was a good enough excuse for the moment.
"No way, she didn't."
Of course, they were bound to hear of this morning's spectacle. Everyone knew by now. Although I was yet to find out how Luka reacted. In fact, I wasn't the only one.
"Tuna? Really?" Rin laughed, "Of all things, why tuna?"
"Well, at least it wasn't shit," Cul added, "Luka brought a white car this time. It would have totally stood out."
"White, blue, green, shit will stand out regardless, idiot. It's shit."
"Guys, I'm eating here," I groaned.
I couldn't take it. I just wanted a moment without Luka and Lily's business surrounding me. Unfortunately, everyone was talking about it besides Rin and Cul. In class, in the hallways, the bathrooms, even the janitors knew. They were just happy they didn't have to clean it up.
"I hope she didn't let it sit there. Doesn't that stuff have mayonnaise?"
That's it. I couldn't take it.
"I'm gonna eat in the bathroom," I said.
"Seriously?" Cul hollered after me, "We were just talking about shit and you want to eat there?!"
She had a point. Even so, it wasn't like I was really going. I just had to leave, be away from the crowd.
The hallways offered some solitude. I couldn't get away from anyone even if I tried. Some students would pass by. A few minded their own business; others glanced at me as if I'm some poor loner. Like eating alone is the worst, I had to roll my eyes at such pathetic self-conscious thinking.
There are far worse things. Like getting your car dumped with tuna for example.
I hadn't seen Luka all day. And thanks to another week of cleaning the locker-rooms, I probably will later today. I cursed at the thought. At least it was the last week. And with that in mind, I was able to get up and going with some sense of peace. After all, every cloud has its silver lining.
I decided to wander about. No deans were in sight which was an odd thing. It worked me for though.
"Miku?"
The sound of my name caught me off guard.
"What are you doing here?"
It was Ritsu, the strange but pretty cheerleader. I was already used to her suspicious attitude. This time though, she didn't seem as jumpy.
"Just walking," I said, "What about you?"
"I just took a make-up test," she smiled, "I'm surprised to see you alone."
"Oh, cuz' I'm so popular," I jokingly added.
Ritsu giggled.
"Actually, you are. Neru hates it. That's why she's always talking shit about you."
She quickly stiffened.
"Don't tell her I said that."
The redhead had nothing to worry about. I assured her.
"Don't worry about it. Neru is all bark and no bite. You can tell her I said that."
Ritsu laughed. I had to admit, the girl was cute. She had style, far more than I could achieve. I flustered at the thought, clearing my throat as I hoped she didn't see my blush. Yet, judging by her humorous smirk, I think she did.
"So, uh, what kind of test did you take?"
"Geometry. I hate it. Mr. Lee is such an ass."
I tried hard not to cringe. Geometry is ruined forever for me. All thanks to Luka. She just had to lie about tutoring me. Not to mention I'm way past that mind-fuck of a subject.
"Shapes and numbers. Yeah, like that's gonna make math any more fun," Ritsu chuckled, "What are you taking?"
"Algebra 2."
"Wow, already?"
She seemed impressed, although I wish she wasn't. It's just math.
"It's not just math. It's a requirement to pass high school. Although, I don't think we'll have that problem. We have a pretty good math department."
I snorted.
"Yeah, for a school obsessed with gossip and football, I guess."
Even though I originally wanted to be alone, I didn't mind talking to Ritsu. She was really coming along with me. Unfortunately, for some reason, the awkward tension resurfaced. That's when I tried to backtrack.
"But, yeah, we do, I suppose."
It didn't make sense to defend the school. Somehow I knew that wasn't the case.
She seemed….uncomfortable.
Her eyes darted to the floor. Head down in shame as she sighed in response. Something wasn't right but I had no idea why.
"No, you're right. This school is a shithole."
She looked up and smiled. It wasn't the same though.
"Anyway, I'll see ya' around, yeah?"
I didn't want her to leave. Not with that note.
"Wait!"
She stops her tracks, a confused expression as I walk closer to her. Ritsu takes a step back, almost out of instinct.
"Why don't you just hang with me? The bell is gonna ring soon anyway. No point finding your friends."
She contemplates. It kind of offends me she has to actually think about it.
"Well, Teto is absent. I was just gonna go to the gym and practice."
"You only hang out with Teto?" I ask, "Don't you have, like, a squad?"
The same discomfort appears again. I feel guilt for even questioning her.
"No, I do, but I don't really like to hang out with them. Like you said, gossip."
She shrugs it off casually although I can tell it really bothers her.
"Then just hang out with me," I say.
Ritsu giggles. I can't help but grin this time. The redhead definitely has charm.
"Sure, why not?"
I lead the cheerleader to the nearest stairway. A pleasant conversation follows, something that Ritsu is very unfamiliar with having, I bet. Despite my assurance, she remains tense, almost cautious as she listens. I would often catch her looking at me intently then avert eye contact in a shy manner. It reminds me of Luka's rare glances. The redhead doesn't have much to say. A few compliments and nods is all she offers but it's the solitude she really enjoys. Her back isn't as stiff and she's doesn't seem so paranoid. Then the bell rings and we're suddenly back to square one. Ritsu takes a deep breath, bracing herself as she stands up.
"We should do this again, it's nice."
She offers her hand. I smile as she helps me up.
"Yeah, we should."
She giggles and we proceed to walk down the hallway. As expected, its starts to get crowded. Ritsu suddenly grabs my hand, pulling me aside. I almost trip then and there. And that's when I see her through the window.
Luka.
The view below attracts more than enough observers. Some look in awe as others pity the rich girl wiping tuna off her expensive sports-car.
"What the fuck? Why is she cleaning it?!"
The words slip, my anger surfaces. I can't believe Luka is taking fault.
It baffles me but most of all, it pisses me off. Luka cleaning after Lily's bullshit, I can't fathom why she would even bother. In fact, I go out of my way to find out. Ritsu is quick to follow, urging me to avoid the deans.
"Miku, you can't go outside."
I ignore her.
"Aren't you in enough trouble already?"
I stop before the door.
Ritsu's right. I am but I can't help it right now. This is too strange, too fucked up for me to sit on. And with that in mind, I step outside and straight to Luka with not a damn given if I'm caught or not.
The closer I get, the faster my heart pounds. Not out of fear, but out of anticipation. Yet, despite my excitement, I can't help but approach her with a weary tone.
"Really?"
At first, it seems like she didn't hear me, like she hasn't noticed I'm in front of her. Then she looks up, an emotionless expression as she finally responds.
"Go back, Miku. It's none of your concern."
She's just as tired as me, if not, more.
That's when the immense guilt starts to flow in.
"I'm so-
"DON'T. YOU. DARE."
I completely forgot how much she hates that. To apologize when there's no fault, to give unwanted pity.
"I don't need that and I certainly don't need it from you."
Snap.
That's all I hear. Something in my insides, twist and turn. Whatever it is, it makes me want to cry. I bite my lip in hopes I can keep the feeling at bay.
"Now I'm only going to ask one more bloody time," Luka adds, "Go back NOW."
I'm stiff frozen. And with my mind in turmoil goes my will to move. Therefore, I can't comply.
"MIKU."
Eyes dark, a silent threat as she tries again, this time though, I can finally move. Not toward her, not back to safe grounds, I simply turn my head to the hollering voice behind me.
It's a dean.
At this point, I don't mind waiting for him. I don't care, really. Turns out, Luka does because the next thing I know, she's dragging me to the passenger's side of her car.
She pushes me inside and slams the door without caution. I watch the dean storm toward us but Luka makes it on time, revving the engine before speeding off. She leaves him in smoke.
I don't know what to expect from Luka. Here, later, tomorrow, I don't have the slightest clue.
Only I start to get a hint when we hit a stop light.
"I'm taking you home."
"Okay but my dad-
"I meant my home."
I gulp.
A/N: Thanks for reading :D I'll update. Hopefully, soon ;) no promises tho -_- I don't mean to scare anyone with that I just really don't want to promises consistent updates when I have a lot on my plate right now. I am sorry about the lag. It has been about what? more than 3 months? :O Whoa, I must thank you all for your patience tho. I will update. I will. Hold on to your butts! ;D