A/N: I know, I know, I'm sorry. Thank you all for your patience tho :)

I think the only person who has ever really called me beautiful was my mother.

She hasn't been active in my life but really that's my fault.

She tries.

She really does.

I don't want anything to do with her though.

So she respects it.

And with that, comes my space.

A hallow, empty, vast space that I question why I even ask for.

I guess I just prefer being alone. Explains why I'm always thinking 'what if'. And that's the worst of thoughts.

A constant mantra, countless flashes of imagery only you can imagine. The possibilities, the endings, beginnings, you can't stop. And it almost drives you crazy.

I think that's what's happening right now. Only it isn't memories I'm drowning in.

Sounds.

Touches.

Her lips, her hands, sweat, tears, breaths, all at once and suddenly, I'm gone.

I don't see anything but her.

Luka.

Gripping hard against the mattress, the room spins, I take a sharp breath. Another round, another shameless display before me, I take it all in.

Luka is a deviant, an uncontrollable force pushing away all that reality in sake of bliss.

To put it simply, she's just fucking.

Fucking me, that is.

Daddy's not home. No sight of his new shiny sports car in the front yard. He left a note on the table.

'Conference in Crewe. Be good.'

I'd like to tell him that she's fucking incredible, far from good.

It's a sick thought but I can't help it right now.

She shrieks; hips ride in the midst of another orgasm, wave after wave, her core pulses, walls tremble against mine. All the while, I watch her so graciously.

Bare and beautiful she is, from her full and open lips to her glorious curls rubbing so hot and damply against my own.

For the first time, Luka doesn't stray from vulnerability. It's full-on before me. The way her hips sway and her pert breasts bounce at every motion. And with such a gorgeous view, I take advantage of the close proximity, allowing me to feel and caress every curve of her body accessible to me.

Her breasts, her hips, her shoulders, back, stomach, neck, hair, arms, I can't help but eagerly grasp and whimper so lovingly to her all the while, feeling her burning flesh as she sways into me. My fingertips glide over her skin before finally settling on a sweet spot. Below her naval, the crease between her abs but more than anything, it's her breasts I can't get enough of, all the while, tweaking at her nipples between her gasps and whimpers.

I'm holding her. Really holding on to Luka and it couldn't be any more perfect as she's shaking and moaning so deeply against my own bare body.

"M-Miku…"

She gasps before biting onto her lip, a tendency of hers before orgasm.

Luka comes first, shrieking before deeply groaning into the sensation pulsing between our legs. I follow in mere seconds, pursing my lips as I moan with incredible bliss. Hot and hazy we are. Not even a minute after and Luka is at it again, this time switching her position.

I exhale deeply, already losing myself to the sight of her glistening back. From the dip between her shoulder blades to the crease leading down to her dimples of Venus, I lose myself once more, feeling and grasping at her skin.

Arching into the feeling, Luka grinds against my core with incredible wetness and heat. I cry aloud and brace myself before acting on a tempting thought. One that I'm suddenly confident Luka will appreciate.

Red and raw, my hand meets her ass with a loud clap. A sound so enticing, I can't help but give it another go.

"Oh, shit! YES!"

Luka's loves it and she moans deeply before I let her have it once more.

Slap!

"FUCK! YES, MIKU!"

Bed creaking so loudly, hips gyrating so wildly, my burning flesh nearly melts from her hot dripping fluids.

"More!"

Slap!

"YES!"

It's so sexy, so undeniably lustful, I eagerly grasp at her rear, harshly digging my nails into her flesh. Luka hisses with delight, the sharp pain adding to the wild fire coursing through us.

And with the sweet utter of my name, whispered so desperately, we come.

"Miku…"

I tremble and spasm into her burning core, hands still gripping at her rear as Luka's voice fills the room.

She moans, savoring each second with a slow and sensual sway of her hips. I can hear her smile, enjoying the sweet aftermath. All the while, I struggle to catch my own breath, hand at my heart, the pounding so profound; it courses through my entire body.

"I'm glad you stayed."

The words are whispered but I can't tell if I just dreamt them or not. I'm exhausted, primarily over my thoughts.

School, dad, mom, Lily, Miki.

Almost as if she's read my mind, Luka takes it upon herself to help me forget. Pressing against me as I drift to sleep, she continues to whisper into my ear, confirming that it was reality when those words were spoken.

"I mean it, I'm glad you stayed."

I mutter in response, struggling through my slumber for a simple answer.

"Mm…"

Butterfly kisses on my shoulders, full and soft breasts against my bare skin, Luka makes it difficult to sleep. Hands roaming, my back, butt, past my hips, and suddenly, I'm struggling just to keep her still for once.

"L-Luka!"

She giggles and brushes her nose against my cheek. Lips meet my ear, a nip here and there as she ignores my plea. Fingers tease and caress my clit, so sensitive it is. Luka knows it too but she's far engrossed with her libido.

"Can't take it?" she whispers.

I cry, hips jolt and I press my thighs together, halting the actions of the beauty.

"I've BEEN taking it…now I just want to sleep, okay?"

Luka sighs and shakes her head. Not so much out of disappointment but almost as means to snap out of her current haze, a haze that consumed us for the past hour.

I knew what to expect the second I entered Luka's house. In fact, she gave me a chance to leave if I wanted to.

'You don't have to be here…'

'I know.'

'Miku…'

'I want to, Luka.'

That's all the confirmation she needed.

And so we're here, bare and disheveled between white bedsheets all the while, I'm struggling to simply rest.

"Nng! Luka!"

She giggles, pulling me closer as she continues to kiss my hot and sensitive skin.

"Mikuuuu…"

I feel her pout, her lips brushing so delicately against my skin, trailing down to my shoulders. A nip here and there until I've finally had it.

"Good god, I just want to sleep!"

The swift motion as she storms out of bed is enough for me to know.

Luka is pissed.

"Well, then you would much prefer sleeping at home."

A pattern I've grown too accustom to follows. We have sex. I piss her off. Then we argue.

And all because I wouldn't let her

"Fuck me!" I groan, "You are so ridiculous!"

"ME?!"

Back in forth it goes, bitching, complaining, whatever it is Luka is expressing.

"I usually don't fucking cuddle, y'know!"

"And I usually don't skip school!"

"That is completely on you!"

She's right. I wasn't exactly pressured but I still won't back down. I don't want her to win.

"You knew exactly what this was before it even started! Don't make it something it's not!"

"Don't you dare go there, rejecting me is one thing but insulting my intelligence?"

"Oh! Your intelligence, OH!"

I feign innocence, hell, I even go as far as skipping like a fucking fairy.

"I am sorry, oh, dearly, I am! Oh!"

Luka rolls her eyes. I can't help but continue my acting skills.

"You are much too smart for me, aren't you, Luka? Aren't you?"

"You are being an absolute brat, y'know," she sighs.

"Says the little girl who did not get her way."

Luka scoffs and I smirk in response.

I think I won, for sure on that.

Only it doesn't feel like it. Luka has gone completely silent. In fact, as soon as she's decently dressed, she engrosses herself on her phone, snickering and smiling at whatever crap is on the screen.

We don't speak for the next couple minutes; in fact, all it really becomes is glances and sneaky smirks on her end. I have half a mind to tell her to shut up but that wouldn't make sense. I'm just so irritated right now.

"Take me home."

Luka shrugs and throws me my shirt. This angers me. She's definitely turned the tables.

That cocky smirk, swaying hips.

Stupid, sexy Luka.

I'm guilty to admit I love to argue with Luka. It gives me a rush, one that definitely eggs me to continue pushing at her buttons. There's just something about affecting her like no one can that drives me.

"You done now?"

She asks me in the car. Right away, I know she's referring to my smartass remarks. We haven't spoken since leaving her estate. All that's been between us so far is the low music playing on the stereo, that and honking by other cars due to Luka's habit of speeding and swerving into lanes.

"If I say yes, am I allowed to talk?"

"Don't get like that," she sighs, "I'm really trying here, Miku."

It's eerie; all of this, the tendency to suddenly act as if we are really a couple. Luka tries to console me, I get stubborn, she tries to talk, and then I'm thinking about dropping it all for the sake of us.

That's the thing though.

There is no 'us'.

So why does she pretend there is?

"Luka, what are we?"

"Hm?"

"What are we?"

She clears her throat, glancing at me before responding in a careful tone.

"Whatever you want us to be."

"Well then-

I bite my tongue, suddenly reluctant to say what's on my mind. That's how I know I've really come to like her. No matter how hard I try not to.

"We have sex. We argue. You care..."

"Of course I care," she adds, "What are you getting at?"

"Luka, I don't know what we are, that's the problem," I add, "in fact, if you really want to be reasonable here, it's almost as if…."

Oh, god. I am really about to say it. In the midst of traffic, I'm suddenly afraid we might crash if I voice it.

"together."

Screech.

The care abruptly stops. The smell of burnt tire fuming outside the window, drivers cursing at the dangerous maneuver before them and all because I simply referred to what Luka's been avoiding.

"Miku…"

The car starts to move again, Luka clears her throat. Even so, she doesn't say anything. Once again, she pretends it's not there. And we arrive in a painfully familiar fashion. I storm out of her car. She follows after me, desperate to fix it right away.

"Just go away, Luka."

"Miku, wait, please…"

I get this sick feeling of triumph as she chases after me, all the way to the door, struggling to say the right words.

"I don't want to leave like this."

I freeze before tearing away from the knob to her. An idea comes to mind, one that I know is unfair but, unbeknownst to Luka, I'm just as desperate, if not more.

"Then kiss me."

She blinks.

"What?"

"Kiss me now."

She takes a step forward and then I'm suddenly nervous. I really didn't think she would but here I am, my breath quickening over her kissing me in public, let alone in front of my house.

Instead, she hugs me.

My eyes widen, anger surging through me as I'm ready to push her off.

"Luka!"

Only my dad's voice snaps it all away.

"I thought I was dreaming but here you are."

Within that second, more than just my naivety took into effect. Nothing existed except Luka and me. More than that, I felt the rawness of what I truly felt. Besides hope, there was a deep ache in my stomach, something so strong, it shook my entire being. Heart beat fluttering so fast, that it nearly suffocated me.

Good god, I think I might be in…

-love that Miku has another friend besides Miki."

Shit.

There I go again being a shitty friend.

I don't bother with 'bye'. Not that Luka deserves it anyway. I simply brush past my dad and straight to my room. I hear my dad holler after me.

"Miku! Manners, please!"

I pay no mind, although, internally, I would yell back at him to fuck off since Luka is physically taken by me, as for mentally, I think I may be close to it.

She was desperate for once. Almost child-like, although, come to think of it, Luka does have a tendency to act like a spoiled brat. Daddy's little girl she is. Yet at school, she comes off so independent.

I shake my head, a means to snap my thoughts surrounding the pain in the ass that Is Luka Megurine. And with a quick dial by memory, I call the one person that deserves my attention.

Hi. You've reached Miki Furukawa. I'm not available at the moment so please leave a message after the beep….and if I don't call back well then….I guess I don't like you *beep*

I groan and try again.

Hi. You've reached-

"Dammit!"

She must be home from school although I'm worried to find out if I'm wrong. Suddenly, I feel a chill. The phone rings.

It's Miki.

"Miki!"

"Heeeey!"

Oh no.

Judging from the background, Miki isn't home. EDM, chatter, it's Monday night, I know for sure she isn't as some frat party. In fact, I think she's somewhere far worse.

"Miki…where are you?"

A low burp then she sloppily responds.

"Some club…"

"Some club?! What do you mean SOME CLUB?!"

"Fucking relax, mommy, I'm fine, okay! I'm with a friend."

A horrible déjà vu hits me. A familiar feeling that once tormented me suddenly pierces my stomach. Somehow, I can HEAR a voice that I still hate to this day.

"Is that Miku? HI MIKU!"

Dear god, I really heard him.

Leon.

"Miki! Don't you dare fucking tell me you're with….HIM."

"Okay, I won't. You figured it yourself anyway, dummy."

She giggles, high-pitch and total cringe-worthy enough. In fact, it scares the crap out of me. That isn't Miki at all, just some confused school-girl hanging out with a loser man-child.

It's a statement I keep repeating in my head. Yet it does little difference. If I don't get there fast enough, it will be Miki's biggest fuck-up yet.

"Where are you!"

"Shha-you, Leon! She's my best friend, I tell her everything-waddaya mean you think she's a bitch? Doesn't everybody-Oh, shit, she heard that."

Another laugh, one I can hear her struggling to suppress through her teeth. Miki only ever laughs like that when she's high. It sends me on panic mode. I am going to kick Leon's balls for this.

"Tell me where you are now!"

"Okay, okay, fine, Crimson Wave…"

"Don't you fucking move, you got it!? I MEAN IT otherwise I'll call the fucking cops and report you missing!"

I don't give her time to respond. That way, she knows I'm not kidding around. I try to give myself a couple minutes to calm down but it's useless at this point. I need to find a way to get there and my dad is not an option. He can't know where Miki is and this 'Crimson Wave' club could be anything. That's when a certain person comes into mind.

I call Avanna with high hopes. Unfortunately, she doesn't pick up.

I curse aloud with a realization. My best bet is Kaito Shion now.

The phone rings three times before he picks up. His voice already putting me on edge, I can't help but get to the point as soon as he starts to ask questions.

Miku, hey, what happen to you today? I could have sworn seeing you at school in the morn-

"Kaito, can you give me a ride?"

The straight forward request catches him off guard.

"Uh, where to?"

"Crimson Wave."

He clears his throat.

"Crimson Wave? What for?"

"I'll explain later, you just need to get me NOW!"

I cut him off, expecting him to oblige to my request. It's selfish of me, but this matter excuses it all. My best friend is in another one of her spirals and, once again, I'm chasing after her.

I storm downstairs, passing my dad and ignoring whatever words have spewed out of his mouth. He's clearly annoyed, maybe over Luka, whatever it is, it's caused him to chase after me and prevent me from exiting out the door.

"Dammit! You listen to me here, Miku Hatsune!"

"I have to go, dad."

A mere inch is how far I get the door to open before he slams it back closed.

"I don't know what's gotten into you but you have some nerve thinking you can just walk in and leave whenever you want."

"Hasn't it always been like that?"

My smartass remarks aren't helping. In fact, dad becomes even more riled up.

"I heard you skipped classes today…mind explaining THAT?"

Shit.

I forgot.

What baffles me is that he even cares.

"I was sick."

"That's what the nurse's office is for."

"It was packed. I wasn't going to wait around until I puked."

His fist suddenly meets the door.

"I will not have you lying to me!"

It's set him off. The continuous bullshit I'm filling his mind with. Part of me cares enough to just be honest, but I learned a long time ago that my dad doesn't deserve the truth…from me or my mom.

"You listen here."

He clears his throat before stating firm and angry words.

"You are not going anywhere."

"Like hell, I am!"

SLAP.

I'm not in pain. Despite the stinging on my face, it's the shock that really burns.

My dad's eyes widen. I look up. I didn't even notice I was sent to the ground from the impact. I'm just how he's had my mom for so many years, down to his feet.

I fail to suppress my painful cry. My dad suddenly drops to his knees, attempting to fix it all.

"Oh, Jesus! I don't know-oh FUCK! I am SO SORRY, Miku, I don't know-she…I didn't-

The words fade, all that is reality blurs before me. For a moment there, my mind simply blanked.

Shaking my head, I stand up before bolting out the door. My dad doesn't try stopping me this time.

Meanwhile, outside, Kaito is nowhere to be found. Even so, I'm more than happy to wait it out. After what just happen between my dad and me, I know there is going to be far more tension in the house. It makes me question if I'm really willing to continue living with him just to be near my best friend. And with the current ordeal, I'm beginning to doubt it all.

Out of pathetic need, I glanced around for Luka's car. It's nowhere to be found. Part of me hoped it would have taken her longer to leave but my dad pretty much scared her off. I'm guilty to admit that I hoped for that anyway. Only now, I'm beginning to feel bad for it. No one deserves to be that uncomfortable with a man as deprived as him.

Even Luka Megurine.

I shake and release a low sigh. No matter what, I'll always go back to thinking about her. And the worst part is that, for now, she's the best thing that I can let my mind wander on.

I don't want to think about Miki or my dad or my mom.

I just want to forget and that's what Luka's been helping me do since I met her.

I want to tell her that.

I just don't know how.

A sudden honk snaps my thought. A familiar sleek, black Dodge Charger pulls up before me, the windows roll down followed by Kaito's voice.

"Miku?"

I don't hesitate to enter his car. Right away, I buckle up before tapping away at my phone for the next location.

"Crimson Wave is about 28 miles away."

"Okay but mind telling me what this is all about? I usually don't do this…"

Kaito chuckles although I can tell the jock is forcing generosity.

"And 28 miles is a lot of gas."

I'm happy to see his crush on me isn't lasting. Kaito's being a good friend, simple as that, as for me, I may not know him enough to be forcing favors but I have no other choice.

I could have asked Luka. Any excuse to see me will work on her favor. I can't have that right now though.

"I'll pay you back, don't worry."

He sighs before pulling out of the curb.

It's an awkward drive but I'm grateful I just found someone that could help.

"I owe you a lot, thanks."

"No prob…" he says.

It's awkward but more than that, it starts to get painfully silent. Not even the music can help. Of course, he would be listening to 'Marvin's Room'. It only adds to the tension.

"I mean it…this means a lot."

"Like I said, no prob, Miku"

He glances and shares a quick smile. It does little to ease my thoughts about him. I feel like I've annoyed him. I guess the least I could do is explain my reasons to him.

"My best friend…she's drunk at a club… I didn't know who else to call and-

"Miku. Stop." He adds, "You don't have to explain yourself, I'm just-oh my god!"

The car slows down. Suddenly, we're parking on the side of the street.

"What happen?"

At first I don't know what he's talking about then it dawns me that he must be referring to the red streak on my face, the result from my dad's frustration. Unfortunately, I don't have the heart to tell him the truth. Even as he's obliging to a great favor of mine.

It makes me feel like absolute shit.

"I…."

I can't even come up with a lie. I'm hesitating for an answer. In fact, it hurts to talk about it. Luckily, Kaito senses it.

"So, Crimson Wave, 28 miles away, right?"

He tries his best to ignore it, to simply continue on the road and pretend he didn't see it but he can't. In fact, the majority of the ride, he continues to sneak glances. Every now then and then we would lock eyes, Kaito would open his mouth but close it as soon as I looked away. I notice his hands clench around steering wheel.

I wasn't expecting Crimson Wave to be as crowded as it is; turns out there is a famed DJ playing tonight.

"Oh wow, 'Insomniac' event…course there's a crowd," Kaito says.

"Shit, well, it's only going to make things harder," I mutter.

I've tried calling Miki since arriving. Unfortunately, to no avail.

"UGH! She really needs to change her goddamn voicemail!"

"Is she inside?"

"She better be," I add before attempting another go.

Again, no answer.

"SHIT!"

"Listen, let's park first then we can figure out how to get in…"

As he pulls out of the curb, I give one hard look at the atmosphere surrounding the club. Access won't be easy, that's for sure. If only I had a name to convince the bouncer than maybe…

It was wishful thinking, thoughts I didn't think would get me far right now…but I really think I just saw a certain blonde. Just around the club, there was another entrance, no line, only a bouncer protecting the door. I could have sworn I just saw Lily pass through with ease.

From what I can recall, the blonde said something working at a club before. After her spiral of madness in her apartment, she shared a few words concerning Luka's brother as well as her occupation.

'He works at the same club as me. I go-go-dance on the weekends…and he does too…at some night club.'

Lily never clarified on that but it's all adding up now.

"Drop me off here."

"Huh, what? We need to find parking though."

"You find parking, the sooner I get in, the sooner we can leave."

"And how do you expect to do-wait, what are you doing?"

My current apparel won't pass. In fact, if I'm going to use a name, I need to look the part. And as I remove some clothing, Kaito's crush on me resurfaces. He stutters, voice nervous as he attempts to calm himself.

"Miku, there's the backseat if you're most comfortable-

"I'm not taking off much."

It's true. All I really remove is the long sleeved top under my sleeveless collared shirt. I pull up my stocking to their very limit, which go no farther past my mid-thighs. As I adjust my pigtails for a sleeker look, an idea crosses my mind.

"Do you have anything I can use?"

"Use for what?"

Kaito seems distracted, far more by the bareness of my shoulders now in view. I always thought he was more into boobs considering he dated Mieko.

"As in clothes or something."

"Clothes? Well, I think I still have my Halloween costume around here…behind the backseat, wait, but why do you-

I hop into the back before rummaging through his items. I find a bag, inside cerulean-colored accessories that make me question just what he dressed as about 4 months ago.

"What were you?"

"A smurf…a classy one at that. I had suspenders and a tie…so an office smurf is more like it."

It's a humorous idea, one I chuckle at as Kaito nervously laughs.

The suspenders and tie match the turquoise look I'm going for. Suddenly, from the corner of my eye, I notice a particular accessory that would tie it all together.

"These headphones…"

Kaito is quick to disapprove.

"Oh no, those are freaking expensive. I can't let you just take em'."

"Expensive yet you leave it your car?"

"I forget, okay? Anyway, I don't know what you're trying to go for but you can't just take my Beats headphones."

"I'm borrowing them."

"That's how it starts!"

I roll my eyes, testing out the headphones despite Kaito's protest. Even though he disapproves, he can't help but finally notice what exactly I'm trying to go for.

I clip on the suspenders by my waist, allowing them to dangle freely past the ends of my skirt. The tie greatly compliments my sleeveless collared shirt, as for the headphones, they add a futuristic tone. The black material is highlighted by a streak of neon red. I think I really achieved what I'm trying for.

To ensure myself, I let Kaito judge, stepping out the car with him to present him with the new look.

"Waddaya think?"

He opens his mouth, hesitating for an answer. It starts to worry me.

"Oh no…don't tell me I look stupid."

He's quick to disagree.

"Oh no, no! You look good! Fantastic, actually…I'm just surprised you managed to pull this off out of nowhere…you look almost…"

He tilts his head.

"Doll-like even…like a futuristic dance doll, I don't know, it's trippy!"

His smile widens, blue eyes light up.

"You look perfect."

I don't mean to blush but I can't help with the way Kaito is looking at me.

"So I guess I can borrow your headphones then?"

I tilt my head, shyly smiling at the jock. He gives in.

"Alright…fine," he mutters.

"But you owe me, Miku Hatsune."

A/N: Ch.20 is already in progress.