-O-

Taming Branch

By Dreamsinger

Chapter Nine

His First Hug

As Branch's arms hesitantly closed around her, the young princess' heart gave a happy jolt and began to dance wildly in her chest. I can't believe it! At long last, he's finally hugging me! I'm so happy I could scream!

She almost did. It took all her willpower to quell the overpowering impulse to squeal with delight; to enthusiastically squeeze her cherished friend's body and smush her cheek against his, but she managed to keep her hold on him light and nondemanding. If she hadn't spent the last two and a half months keeping her natural trolly hug-instinct restrained or redirected to a non-Branch target, she could never have done it.

Easy does it, Poppy. He's trembling. It's his first hug in over eight years; of course he's nervous. Nice and gentle; that's what he needs to help him relax and enjoy this.

Poppy breathed in his familiar scent and allowed herself to relax comfortably against him, hoping it would help him stop shaking. At her movement he shifted his feet a little, but didn't try to pull away. Gradually, his quick, shallow breathing slowed and his periodic trembling went away, although he remained somewhat tense. She kept quiet, not wanting to overwhelm him.

Branch moved his head so it fit better against hers, and adjusted his awkward grip to hold her more naturally. As his big, warm hands covered her back, Poppy almost melted. Ahh, that's much better. I'm so proud of you, my little foxfluff, for choosing to come to me and let me "tame" you, as Milton would say. I can't wait to tell him the big news!

Despite the rigid body leaning stiffly against her like a plank of wood, she was loving this. Surely he was, too. He was the one who'd hugged her, after all. Still, she didn't want to push him too fast. Way sooner than she wanted to, Poppy let Branch go and stepped back so she could read his expression.

He looked different than she expected. No big smile, no 'Oh, so that's what I've been missing all this time'. His colors hadn't come back, either, which disappointed her a little.

At least he didn't look scared, or angry. He wore an odd expression that she'd never seen on him before. It wasn't surprise, exactly, or his usual serious-face. It took her a moment to realize that what she was seeing in his soft blue eyes was…wonder.

Standing nose-to-nose with him, that was when it truly hit her. They had done it. She and Branch had finally hugged.

Unaccountably she blushed. So did he, his light gray cheeks flushing lavender before he turned to face away from her. His fingers hooked onto the straps of his overalls, which caught her attention. He was back to wearing the old, patched overalls he'd worn when she'd first met him.

Ignoring the weird feelings of the last few seconds, she let her mind jump to this new topic. Of course he is. I have his new leaf-vest with me.

Over the last few days Poppy had spent a lot of time with her needle and thread. At first she'd just intended to fix the damage he'd inadvertently caused, but then her creative side had taken over and she'd ended up redesigning the entire vest. She'd decided to made it a little more streamlined, thoughtfully tailoring it to better fit his exceptionally big, strong body. She'd also redone the lining to make the inner pockets bigger after recalling his comment, "You can never have too much storage space."

She'd given the vest a good washing, too, although it was cleaner than she would have expected for someone who lived in the forest. She'd almost hated to do it, because she had enjoyed hugging the soft, thick vest, pretending she was hugging him. It was easier to pretend that before she'd washed it, because she could bury her nose in the soft, fuzzy leaves and breathe in his scent.

Branch smelled good to her. Slightly sweet like all trolls, but with an intriguing cinnamon-spice tang that made his scent unique. Almost like warm apple cider. She liked it very much. She wondered if he liked the way she smelled.

Still facing away from her, Branch said abruptly, "Well, I hugged you. Happy now?"

She noticed that the tips of his ears were a pale lavender still, and smiled. "Yes, Branch," she said softly. "You made me very happy."

His tight shoulders dropped into a more natural position, and his hands unballed and let go of the straps. She wondered if he was smiling. She hoped so.

"And…how was it for you?" she asked shyly. No one had ever complained about her hugs before, but Branch, as she well knew by now, had very exacting standards. About everything.

"It…wasn't as bad as I remembered," he admitted. Then he added quickly, "I'm not saying I liked it, just that – It-it-it – wasn't bad, that's all."

Poppy felt a sunny smile take over her face. "I'm glad." She waited a moment to see if he would say anything else, but he seemed content to be silent, as he had been when they first met. Maybe, despite his words, he was feeling overwhelmed? What could she do to make him feel better?

She grinned to herself. How about a little treat as a distraction? It's worked before, after all. Besides, he deserves a reward. That was really hard for him, but he did it.

"Hey, Branch?"

"Yes?"

"I have something for you."

Still facing away from her, one of his ears twitched. "What is it?"

"Your leaf-vest. If you want it back."

Finally he turned around. At the sight of the glad light in his eyes, her own face lit up in a huge, giddy grin, and he smiled back. She wasn't only offering him a vest, and they both knew it.

She pulled it out of her hair and held it out to him. Branch took it, started to put it on and then stopped as he noticed the changes she'd made. "I tried to tailor it a little, to fit you better," she explained, not mentioning that he'd actually ripped some stitches out when he'd violently torn the vest away from his body as if he wanted nothing more to do with her. The memory of her thoughtless words still stung, and made her feel ashamed. She never wanted to cause someone such terrible pain ever again.

Branch met her eyes for a moment, then went back to investigated the new pockets. He drew a finger along the attractive spiral of thick thread she'd used to reinforce the edging, then slipped the vest on.

At the familiar sight, Poppy broke out into a brilliant, sunshiny smile. He looked so good in that vest, so right. Now he was the Branch she knew. Her grumpy, caring friend.

She watched as he ran his hands down the smoother outline and twisted his shoulders experimentally.

She waited as long as she could, but when he didn't speak she asked hopefully, "Do you like it?"

He nodded. "Yes. It fits perfectly, and I like the edging. It's fancy, yet functional. I like the bigger pockets, too."

Poppy burst out laughing. "I knew you would!"

He gave her his familiar little half-smile, and the sight of it brought a rush of affection for her friend, warm and fluttery in her chest. The young princess spoke from the heart. "I missed you, Branch."

"Really?" He looked pleased, but a little unsure. Was it really so hard to believe that someone would want to be his friend?

She nodded. "I need to see you every day. When I don't, it's like something is wrong with my world."

His face changed. At first she thought he was feeling guilty; but no, he was smiling. A slow, warm, compassionate smile. Then, to her delight, he said, "I missed you, too."

Again her heart fluttered. "Oh, Branch. I'm so glad you want hugs now."

"Oh, I don't."

"You don't?"

"No, I still don't like hugs. But you do." His blue eyes were sincere and concerned for her as he said, "You're my friend, Poppy. The only friend I've got. So if you need me to hug you," he took a deep breath and lifted his chin, "I'll do it."

The resolute determination on his face overrode her disappointment and she gushed, "Aww, that's so sweet, Branch!"

He rubbed his nose and looked down shyly, and Poppy grinned. She was still going to count this as a success. He was going to let her keep hugging him, and soon he would learn to love hugs as much as any other troll.

Still, she didn't want to make this all about her. "You know, Branch, I don't just want to hug you for me. You need hugs too, whether you realize it or not," she said gently. "You need closeness and connection."

He opened his mouth, hesitated, then closed it and looked away without saying anything.

She blinked. Well. He didn't argue with me. That's something, anyway. Maybe he's finally starting to figure things out. The optimist in her was cheered by that. If so, then maybe this fight was a good thing, if both of us learned from it. I know for sure now that he likes me. I know I'm going try to be a lot more patient with him. And I know I'll be a lot more careful on the subject of bergens!

A new twinge of regret for the pain she'd caused him made her decide to apologize yet again for her part in their fight. Branch apologized too, which made her happy. He even thanked her for the scrapbooks she'd made for him.

Poppy was delighted. "Did you like them?"

"Yes. They were…interesting." He gave her an odd look, as if he was trying to figure something out.

She waited for a minute, but he didn't say anything more, so she shrugged and suggested that they try one of the activities she'd scrapbooked them doing together. "Which one do you want to do first? A jigsaw puzzle?" she suggested, picking the one thing she was sure he liked. "I love puzzles."

Branch gave her an unusually deep, probing look, as if there were some mystery behind her perfectly normal question.

"What?" she asked.

"I thought you wanted me to… Never mind. Um, sure, we can do a puzzle. I have a little one with me. I always keep one in my hair, just in case."

Wow. Considering how he thinks of most fun things as 'wastes of time', he must really like puzzles. I wonder why?

As they settled down to play on a big, smooth boulder, the afternoon passed peacefully, and Poppy forgot his strange response.

-O-

When the time came for her to leave, things didn't go exactly as she'd planned.

They had just finished cleaning up the completed puzzle. At the ting of her Hug Time watch, Branch's ears went up and he froze. He gave her a wide-eyed glance without moving his head, waiting to see what she would do.

Try as she might to empathize, Poppy was disappointed. He seemed as skittish as ever. They had finally hugged, but it hadn't magically fixed him, as she'd somehow thought it would.

Was this the time for patience? He's hugged me once already today. Maybe I should leave it at that until tomorrow?

It would be easier, but she knew that not hugging him now would make it harder next time. "May I hug you goodbye, Branch?" she asked politely. Then she thought to add, "You had a real breakthrough today. We ought to build on that, don't you think?"

As she well knew by now, anything involving building appealed to him. Branch nodded slowly. "I know you need hugs, so I just have to get used to them." He pulled in a big breath through his nose and squared his shoulders with determined resignation. "Go ahead. Hug me."

It's not just me who needs hugs, she thought, butdecided not to correct him again. Sooner or later he'll realize he enjoys hugs as much as I do, but he can't do that if he never gets any. When she went to put her arms around him, he let her, but he didn't hug back. Instead he froze again.

It was like hugging a tree. She frowned a little and let him go, stepping back to see him standing there with his eyes squinched shut. "Um, that's…good, Branch. But it would work better if you hugged me too, don't you think?"

He looked at her with a weird grimace. "Uh, yeah. Sorry."

"That's okay," she said considerately. "I know it's not easy for you. Listen, maybe it would work better if I stood still and you hugged me instead?"

Branch turned his face away, nervously rubbing one elbow. "O-okay."

She spread her arms invitingly as he slowly approached her. Just beyond arm's length, he stopped. He leaned forward on his toes, but moved no further. It was like there was an invisible barrier blocking him.

"Lift your arms," she instructed encouragingly. "It's not hard."

"I know what to do," he said grumpily. "My arms just won't go up. It's like something's stopping me."

"What's stopping you?"

"I don't know."

She tilted her head a little. "You aren't afraid of me, are you?" she asked, just to be sure. She didn't think he was, but it would explain a lot.

"No." The gray troll looked as if he couldn't decide between being insulted or being amused. "I'm afraid of a lot of things, Poppy. But not you."

"You do want to get used to hugging me, right? Isn't that what you said?"

"…Yes?"

She put a hand on her hip and dropped her head to the side. "Branch."

"Uh, I mean, yes. I do."

She blew a long, slow breath up through her fluffy bangs to calm her growing impatience and said in a deliberately cheery, positive tone, "Okay, then. Let's try this. You stand there and close your eyes and I'll wait for a bit, then hug you. If it's unexpected, you won't have time to psyche yourself out, so you can just enjoy yourself in the moment. Okay?"

"Okay," he said uncertainly, but did close his eyes as she'd asked. She waited about fifteen seconds, then approached him. His ears began to twitch. Even with his eyes closed, he easily avoided her. Before she could say anything, he said, "Sorry. Reflex. I won't move from this spot; I promise."

He set his feet firmly in the grass and stood with his arms held a little away from his body. She went to slip her hands between his arms and body and he bent backward like a palm frond, his hair brushing the grass. As he straightened up, she tried once more, but again he managed to curve his body just enough without moving his feet for her to just barely brush his side in passing.

Poppy had to squelsh the temptation to cage him in her hair again. She smiled through clenched teeth. "Branch, please. I can't help you if you won't stand still."'

He opened his eyes and gave her a contrite grimace. "Sorry. Trying. Can't help it."

His wired posture and clipped sentences alerted her. He was fighting the urge to bolt. Immediately softening her expression, she took a step back to give him space. He relaxed and nodded his appreciation.

She waited a moment, then asked encouragingly, "What is it, Branch? What are you feeling?"

"Well, it's just – when you come at me, I get this feeling…dread…in the pit of my stomach."

His struggle to speak, to express his feelings, brought out the pink troll's considerable empathy. "You've said you don't like hugs. But you're actually afraid of them, aren't you?"

He glared at her. "I'm not afraid!"

"You are!" she argued. "I can see it in your eyes. I could see it the very first time I tried to hug you."

His eyes opened wide, and then he frowned in confusion. Pressing her advantage before he could retreat into denial, she pointed out in a reasonable tone, "You wouldn't be trying to avoid hugs so much if you weren't scared of them."

His frown deepened. She could see that he didn't want to believe her, but she was making sense. She waited a moment to let her words sink in, then gave him a gentle smile. "You know, Branch, sometimes you remind me of, well, a wild foxfluff or something. In fact, that's why I asked Milton for advice about how to make friends with you. You see, he's the village critternarian."

Branch's frown gave way to a look of surprise. Then his nose wrinkled. "Critternarian? I'm no critter. I'm a troll."

"But you don't act like one," she said softly. "Not a healthy troll, anyway. I could see you needed help the minute I met you. No troll should be afraid of hugs."

"I – I'm not…" He breathed heavily for a few seconds. Then he sighed, giving in. His ears drooped a little as his gaze fell. "I don't want to be afraid of hugs."

She gazed at him and he looked away from her scrutiny, shuffling a foot through the grass and flicking an ear, reminding her once more of a certain fluffy, cute critter.

"It's not like it's going to hurt you," she said thoughtfully.

"It's not that."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know! Hugging is just so – ugh." He actually shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. "Disturbing."

"Disturbing?" Her eyes widened at this raw, honest reaction. Disconcerted, Poppy fell silent. I don't want to do something to him that disturbs him! But how could anyone find hugs disturbing? Hugging is supposed to be a beautiful thing, done with joy and love. Who wouldn't want love? And why?

She asked him sensitively, "Have you always felt like this about hugs? I mean, in general?"

"Yes… No. I… I used to like hugs. A long time ago, when I was little. But after what happened to- I mean, a lot of bad stuff happened before we escaped…" His face scrunched up. Poppy could see him mentally viewing memories he hadn't looked at in a long time. "After that, sometimes being hugged made me feel angry. Or sad. Or… I don't know. It just got easier to avoid hugs altogether. So I wouldn't have to feel those bad feelings anymore."

"I see." She felt calmer now. It was easier to think of this objectively, as a problem to be solved, rather than feeling rejected personally. Working it out, Poppy said slowly, "So it's not actually hugs you don't like; it's that you're afraid of feeling those bad feelings again?"

He didn't answer; but then, he didn't have to. They both knew she was right. She tapped a finger thoughtfully against her chin. "Well, Milton suggested starting small, one step at a time."

"What does Milton think of a troll who doesn't like hugs?" he asked warily.

"Oh, I haven't told him who you are yet."

"You haven't?" he asked, surprised.

"No. I didn't think you wanted me to."

He stared at her, and then his face relaxed into one of his rare smiles. "Good."

"The only person who knows the whole story is my dad, and he won't tell anyone." She giggled. "Milton thinks I'm trying to tame a skittish little forest critter. He's such a sweetheart. Still, the fact that his advice works anyway speaks volumes; don't you think?"

Branch frowned lightly, looking as if he wasn't sure what to think.

Wanting Branch to think well of Milton, she added quickly, "Milton agrees with you, by the way. He suggested that I not tell the other trolls about you until you're-"

"Less 'skittish'?" he asked dryly, crossing his arms.

She gave an embarrassed laugh and changed the subject. "So anyway, Milton had the idea to start small, and over time, work up to full hugs. Maybe other kinds of touches wouldn't trigger the bad feelings, Branch."

"Other kinds of touches, hm?" Her friend looked thoughtful, and then he brightened. "So I won't have to hug you again today?"

Normally she would have felt hurt at his blatant relief, but now she understood. "Not today, no. Unless you want to, that is."

He didn't respond.

She sighed. "Well, I hope you'll want to hug me someday, Branch. I really do. You see," she put her hands over her heart and smiled entreatingly at him, "I enjoyed hugging you very much."

If she couldn't hug him again today, at least she had the pleasure of seeing his eyes widen before he blushed and looked to the side, smiling faintly.

"So, what do you say, Branchifer?" she asked encouragingly.

"I guess…" He glanced down, took a deep breath, and met her eyes. "Let's do it?"

"That's what I like to hear!" She rewarded him with a great big happy beam. His answering smile was not as bright, but he did seem happy with the way things had turned out.

Full of energy now, she bounced on her toes and clapped her hands. "Okay, then for today, why don't we…" She tried to think of the least possible amount of contact that still counted as touching, "Why don't we start with a nice high five?"

His smile disappeared, and he looked at the ground again.

"What is it?"

"I don't really do high fives," he muttered.

With that single negative statement, her positive energy flattened. She stared at him for a long moment, and he had the grace to look embarrassed. Poppy tipped her head back and closed her eyes, silently counting to ten. "Is there any part of you I can touch?"

There was a long pause. Then, unexpectedly, he spoke. "My hair?"

Poppy opened her eyes to see him gazing wistfully off into the distance, as if seeing a not-so-terrible memory.

It was a good idea. Troll hair was strong, but not very sensitive; the perfect way to avoid overwhelming him. But just in case, she asked him, "Are you sure?"

"I think so. I mean, yes."

He still sounded a little uncertain, but it was a start. At this point, she would take anything. "Great!" she said brightly.

Before he could backtrack, she took a step toward him and extended her hair invitingly. He eyed the bright magenta tendril in front of him, then gave her a questioning look. "I thought you wanted- I mean- You want to hold hair with me?"

"Of course," she explained cheerfully. "We're friends, right? Holding hair is what friends do."

He looked away, then looked back. "Yeah," he said quietly. "We are friends."

He stepped closer and began to slowly move his thick black hair toward hers. "That's it…" she said encouragingly. "A little more… Almost there…"

Finally he made contact, loosely twining his hair around hers. His touch was a little light, so she gave his hair a friendly squeeze and smiled warmly at him. It seemed to help. As he smiled back, his tentative hold settled into a nice, secure grip.

"Good," she said approvingly. "That's just right."

His smile brightened a little at her praise, then faded. She watched as his blue eyes moved minutely, sometimes seeming to see her, other times looking inward. She wanted to ask what he was thinking, but it was probably a better idea to let this first try end in success. She could always interrogate him later.

Through their linked hair she felt his tension lessen, signaling that he was feeling better about the whole situation. She waited a moment longer, then began to carefully withdraw her hair. Now was not the time for a tangle! He followed her lead and when they stood apart once more, he commented, "That wasn't so bad."

"I'm glad," she responded warmly. "You see what you can do when you try? It may take a while, but you'll get there."

He nodded, his expression thoughtful.

She took a step back. "Okay, well then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you."

She turned to begin her journey home. As she neared the treeline, behind her Branch said suddenly, "Thank you for not giving up on me, Poppy."

She beamed and gave him a friendly wave. And for the first time ever, Branch waved back.

Author's Note:

I also thought it made more sense for Poppy to think of Branch as kind of feral, but for Branch to not regard himself that way. He sees himself as careful, logical, and practical, rather than fearful, mistrustful, and emotionally withdrawn. The truth is, he's somewhere in between. Definitely not quite normal, since he behaves in rather extreme ways at times, especially when he thinks there's danger, but it's not until he starts getting feedback from Poppy about some of his more extreme behavior and the beliefs that cause it that he realizes just how far from "normal" he's become.

Still, I want to portray Branch as unconventional, but not "crazy". As in, he's has non-mainstream ideas that seem strange but are reasonable when you look at things from his point of view, and he's not self-destructive. He takes good care of himself physically, which is not the case with many people who face serious mental challenges. But now that he's decided Poppy is someone worth letting into his life, he'll be more motivated to address problem thoughts and behavior that need some attention. The rehabilitation a certain wild foxfluff, basically ;)