A huge thank you for all those who reviewed ! I'm dying in the heat wave, right now, but there's a new chapter to deal with 'the grouch !'. Thank you, anon, for such a lovely and detailed comment. You made my day, and I laughed so much.

I tried my new toy the very next day, mindful of the recoil, and the little amount of munitions. My training gathered quite some attention from my fellow captains who were more accustomed to using rifles, but it went well enough. Saitō, particularly, studied the gun like he studied everything related to swordsmanship. Suprinsingly enough, the young man had no qualms considering this very western weapon that might render his beloved katanas useless. Everything in Saitō was controlled and analytical; I wondered if he woud ever express passion. Were his feelings buried deep within, or was he totally exempt?

Given he had caught the eye of a lovely maiden, he might yet surprise me. Those who called him mini-Hijikata had obvisouly never rubbed shouders with them. If loyalty was their drive, their approach was fundamentally different. And so, while I saw nor head of tails of Hijikata except for his purple hakamashita, I found myself speaking to Saitō about recoil and black powder.

The young captain was shunned by his peers, his title of third captain not reinstated yet. Didn't the Shinsengumi troups know he had been a spy? When I asked him, Saitō only shrugged.

"I shall not tarnish Fukuchō's reputation", was his laconic response.

His courage floored me, and I could only nod to his wisdom. People hating him would have little consequence over the Shinsengumi. But they could not afford their own men to lose faith in their Vice Commander. And so, Saitō endured stoically what would have stirred me crazy. Whispers of his defection, and many more stories too far fetched and preposterous to be repeated.

I, for one, was glad he had returned. Despite his taciturn nature, I felt a kinship with Saitō. Hence his continuous presence in the captain's quarters, and our careful tests with the gun. After a few tries, I realised I had to aim slightly higher than with the previous handguns I had used in modern times. Also, I found that I could fire with a single hand instead of two, western style.

My arm ached, thought; the revolver was much heavier that a glock 19. The holes I dug into the target were, as well, twice the size of my small calibre. This was a dangerous weapon, and I frowned at the potential letality of our future opponents. The Shōgun army was currently being modernised to keep up to date; what did the Chōshū use? I wasn't knowledgable enough, weapons wise, to calculate the strength of impact.

But this morning's experience told me we migh very well be hacked to pieces, armour or not. Shimada had provided us with a breastplate; it was clear that a true, direct hit could pass through if the shooter was close enough.

"We can only hope for distance", he stated with a flat voice.

I nodded. "Or a bigger angle to get a ricochet."

By the time we were finished with our testing, the day had gone by. Sanan picked me up to attend the preparation meeting to plan Itō's demise. If Hijikata was displeased at our conjoint appearance, he cautiously didn't voice it.

It was decided to invite Itō-san to have a drink with Kondō, for his faction sold information to the Shinsengumi. They would pour too much sake, hoping to weaken him, and attack in a deserted street while he returned back to his own compound.

The plans were laid, the moment set – two days hence – and my conscience still screamed until I boxed it, and threw the key away. Judging would get me nowhere. Why was I here for, if not to support the men I'd come to consider my brothers in arms? The very people who cared for me, provided me food, shelter and protection?

Assasination.

Despite my best efforts, it still left a sour taste in my mouth. The meeting was adjourned with a set of grim approvals; I wasn't the only one displeased with this turn of events. None were happy to plan the death of a former Shinsengumi, but it wasn't the first time. Okita was possibly the only one giddy enough to assassinate Itō-san; I understood the rage that boiled in his guts. Targeting Kondō-san would be Itō-sod's last mistake.

I took a deep breath to steel myself, and remained seated as the captains stood and filed out of the room. Fortunately, Hijikata caught my meaning well enough, and he also remained. How he knew I wanted to talk to him was a mystery, but I certainly wasn't about to complain.

Harada pushed Shinpachi before him to prevent him from uttering a snide remark, and Saitō glared at Okita. Sanan gave me a meaningful look before he left, his grey eyes conveying a thousand speculations that I missed entirely. When the sōji slid close, Hijikata and I were the only ones seated in the room.

"What do you want, Kitsu?", he growled.

Ever since I'd been poisoned, Hijikata had been dowright icy with me. Whether he was angry at me, or because of me remained to be determined. I gathered my courage, and lifted my eyes to find his stormy gaze.

"Fukuchō", I bowed. "There is something I must show you, if you can spare a little time."

Several emotions ran across his face, and I caught a glimpse of his weariness. The man was tired, and tightly strung by the event. All he probably wanted, at this time of night, was a good cup of tea and rest. I felt slightly guilty about putting another weight upon his shoulders, but I had a promise to keep.

"You'd better not be wasting my time."

What would he think of my demonstration? I didn't know. But the slight shuffle behind me, right behind the partition, told me we were not as alone as expected.

"I will not. Albeit it'd be better to…"

I shook my head slighty, pointing at the shōji behind me. A smirk lifted the corner of his lips as he stood, unfolding his long limbs like a cat. His feet slid across the tatami mats in silence, passing but a foot from me before he threw the door open. Both Okita and Shinpachi scurried away, while Harada just gave him a sheepish look.

"Get lost", he ordered, his voice threatening.

"Hai!"

"Follow me", he added, staring down at me. I stood with clammy hands, and followed him around the compound until we passed the stone bench where he had first kissed me.

"There!", I pointed, an idea forming in my mind.

"Outside?"

His tone was surprised, but I just nodded, and pointed for him to sit. Leaves had fallen, and the hot and humid air of this summer been replaced by cold dampness. I though I saw him shiver, and watched as he buried his hands inside his sleeves. This man needed a wool coat, a real one.

"So?", he asked, impatient.

"Give me a minute. I'll show you."

Hijikata addressed me a sour look, and I pleaded for him to wait just a little more. I couldn't risk breaking anything in his room, or in another's office. If I did this right… I found a rock laying under a tree and pushed it further away from the trunk. This would suit my needs. I unsheated my blade, and pointed it to the ground in a peaceful stance.

"Nani…?" Hijikata whispered.

I didn't respond, focused on finding that orb of light that overtook my body whenever I remember the people I loved. For a moment, I though I was about to fail; Hijikata's thundering mood wasn't helping, at all. As if his aggressive waves crashed upon the peaceful ones I was trying to call forth.

This wasn't working. I opened my eyes with a defeated sigh, studying that crease between his eyebrows that marked annoyance. Then I remembered how adorable he was when he allowed himself to whine. How true smiles sometimes brightened his face, when that boyish expression overtook his fair features. How he'd looked after that last kiss in the kitchen, open and relaxed. Beautiful.

It didn't take too long for me to feel the light engulfing my whole frame. The blade caught fire in the night, shining like a beacon. I igored Hijikata's gasp, concentrating on keeping the sensation alive as I lowered the sword upon the piece of rock. It didn't make a noise when it cut throught it like a molecular knife.

Relieved, I allowed my concentration to break. The blade returned to normal at once. I was panting from the effort, but damn, it had been worth it. Hijikata jumped to his feet, his expression stunned as he watched the rock. I sheathed my sword, and offered the two pieces to his scrutiny.

"How …?"

For once, Fukuchō was at loss.

"I don't master it yet. I just discovered it."

Hijikata didn't say a word, but his face showed none of the usual anger. "Come", he only said. I followed him, mindful to remove my sandals on the engawa, as he led me to his rooms. Then, he offered me a seat next to the hibachi, and I obediently settled beside the heat source.

The vice commander studied me for a moment, and I kept my mouth shut, open for any question he might have. This had been our deal, right? Ask, and all shall be answered.

"How?"

The same word as before, but unstead of uncertainty, it conveyed a command. For once, I didn't feel irked by his tone; it was good to see Fukuchō returning to active duty.

"Kondō-san helped me meditate, he thought it would help with the chest pain."

An imperceptible wince marred his features, but he said nothing when he sat on the other side of the brazier. So I went on.

"I realised the blade was calling to me when I managed to reach the proper level of peace. I reached back, in my mind, and it just flared to life."

Hijikata pinched the bridge of his nose with a huff, the circles under his eyes more pronounced as his skin tightened. Then, his hand fell in his lap and his features settled.

"You truly are magical, Kitsu. Do you understand what it means?"

I had not fully fathomed the potential of my new weapons, but its uses were slowing creeping in my mind. If I could keep this up long enough, I might be able to damage the ennemy's weapons. To carve a path in a line of soldiers. Would it cut flesh and metal alike? If, like I suspected, the blade turned into an energy beam, anything would yield. Like an edge that was one atom wide, or a laser, nothing could possibly resist to its sharpness.

"It may mean a lot of things", I eventually responded.

Fukuchō shook his head, expasperated by my slowness.

"It means you could go against Kazama and win the fight."

Oh. He meant I could retrieve my necklace… His thoughfullness surprised me; even after our spat, he was still searching solutions for the Keeper of Time. Just like Sanan … their loyalty was astounding, and I suddenly felt my chest swell with gratitude.

"I'm not going against anyone until you order me to, Fukuchō."

The heartfelt response took him aback; he, too, was surprised that I would trust and follow him still. In the dim light of the brazier – he'd not bothered to light a lamp – shadows danced across his faint cheekbones. Yet, his eyes still shone like a beacon.

"Why did you show me this?"

"No more secrets", I whispered, studying the dancing of the flame upon his skin. He truly was a handsome man; no wonders the Geisha had flirted with him so blatantly.

"Kitsu…", he started.

But I lifted my hand to interrupt, and was grateful when he halted. I had this tremendous weight to lift off my chest, and prayed, to all the Gods, that he would hear me. I lost my gaze in the ambers of the hibachi, and took a deep breath.

Shit, it hurt.

"I understand why I might seem like a hypocrite. I've only ever killed in battle. I admit that killing human beings is difficult as well. I am used to monsters, not people."

But my body count was probably higher than any of them. I'd been to war, twice, and killed many, many men. Without filing up those who had eaten my bullets. But it was still different to plan an assassination. If I crossed that line, would I ever come back from it? From the sense of power, the rightful feeling of dealing justice when I wasn't appointed to do so?

"I can't … can't decide to take a life. Emprison, yes. But not take a life. In my time, justice deals with the people I put in jail."

Understanding passed in his eyes, yet his features remained stern.

"Jail isn't an option, and Kondō-san is next on the list. No one threatens us and gets away with it."

I nodded in understanding; the authorities would never, ever believe the Shinsengumi above a man like Itō-sod. That ahō had connections, and a noble descent where Hijikata was a farmer's son, and Kondō not much higher in status.

The only honourable solution that remained…

"Then I will call for a duel."

Dark eyes blinked at me, taken aback by my fervour. For a moment, just a tiny moment, I knew the Vice Commander had called forth an image, and found the idea interesting. So when he shook his head, I got prepared to press my point.

"Itō would never agree."

"Don't be so sure. I have some pretty creative insults about cocks and snails that no man should be able to resist."

Laughter bubbled in Hijikata's chest, and I was gratified with that sweet rumble. His voice slighty shook as he retorted: "Damn, Kitsu, you know how to make a man feel good."

And when his eyes returned to the ground, a slight blush crept up his cheeks. I felt the tension leave my body. Past days forgotten, the bond between us was knitting again, casting aside any judgement and misunderstanding. I allowed a little time to pass in peace, relishing in this quiet moment where a man and a woman could actually talk to each other without a thousand obstacles paving the way.

Eventually, though, I caught his gaze.

"Then that it settled. I will kill Itō for what he has done, in a fair fight."

"You can't, Kitsu. If you survive his whole faction, you'll be executed for killing an official. And we will be associated with the crime."

"But…"

"Even if we could overlook your association with the Shinsengumi, which we can't, duels are tricky things. When Saitō won a duel, at nineteen, his family cast him away on grounds that he was a murderer."

I gaped; It was little wonder Saitō worshipped Hijikata. He and Kondō had been the only ones accepting his peculiarity, and restoring him as a swordsman. Sensing my hesitation, Hijikata nailed his point without mercy.

"As a gaijin, you won't stand a chance against Itō's family. As Kitsu, you'll just throw us into the fray, and point to Harada's guilt for Sakomoto's murder."

White, hot anger boiled in my veins and I huffed derisively.

"Fuck Itō-sod ! There's just no way out, isn't there?"

"No. Assassination is our best bet to keep everyone safe."

Keep everyone safe, I mused. Every decision eventually came to that.

"We'll pin it on bandits", he went on, "and that will be the end of it. No feelings in politics after all."

Despite the drepressing reality, Hijikata's mischievous expression as he threw those words back at me were the silver lining in this sunless sky. I couldn't help but feel impressed at the same time. As I stole a glance at the vice Commander, I saw a smirk lift the corner of his lips.

"Itō-sod, ne? Fitting nickname."

His eyes flickered with amusement over the brazier, and I was happy that, at least, I could make him laught.

"Honorifics are an open door to creativity", I retorted.

"Do you have one for all of us?"

There was humour in his usually stern voice; a true question, asked by Toshizō, rather than the commander. Tensions shed aside, I settled more comfortably, my hands cupping to gather the hibachi's warmth.

"Only those that annoy me", I responded with a cheeky smile. "Okita, specifically."

A raised eyebrow was all it took for me to giggle. Fearless, I bent over to reveal my secret. "I call him Okita-brat sometimes."

Hijikata snorted. "He deserves it a hundred times over."

"Hai."

I sometimes wondered if Hijikata would feel lonely without this adoptive brother pulling pranks on him. Yet, I doubted it. The Vice Commander wasn't the type of man to find mirth at other's expenses. His rightfulness prevented him from stooping so low, but it made him the perfect man to tease.

Hence, the very reason why I didn't use that easy leverage against him. Even though, sometimes, he called for it…

"I'm surprised you don't have one for me", he mused.

Speaking of digging one's grave … those were dangerous waters to both of us. His open expression, though, ensured I could tell him nothing but the truth.

"You don't annoy me…"

That revelation seemed to surprise him, and I wondered, for a second, if I would dare asking him if I pissed him off.

"I find this difficult to believe."

"I honestly feel like bashing your head sometimes, but we're way past annoyance", I admitted sheepishly. Hijikata pinched the bridge of his nose in a familiar gesture. Cute.

"I don't know how I should take this", he uttered, eyes closed and face hidden by his hand.

Heart racing, I found my breath short – again – as I struggled to find courage. But what was life worth, if I couldn't expose myself and live fully?

"Annoyance is too weak a feeling to match anything I feel for you."

My admittance caused his hand to fall away, revealing unguarded wide eyes. I couldn't keep my smile at bay at this boyish expression. My body didn't ask my opinion as it moved forward, closing the distance between us. I knelt right before him, my legs bumping into his knees, all the while searching his gaze for any sign of disapprobation.

I found none.