My eyes were searching for the familiar ponytail from afar, to no avail. For instead of spotting our Fukuchō, I found Chizuru seated upon the engawa. Our little bee so seldomly rested that finding her so still, shoulders hunched was worrisome. After granting one glance at the deserted courtyard, I sat beside national caretaker.
"Ohayo, Chizuru-chan. What is wrong ?"
She didn't even try to hide it, this time. Cheeks ablaze, Chizuru picked at the seams of her hakamashita, eyes swimming with unshed tears.
"They say he is a traitor, you know ?"
Bells of alarm rang in my head, wondering what might have happened to throw her into such fits of despair.
"Who ?"
"Saitō-san. After all he's done for… us…"
A hiccup interrupted the rest of her sentence, and I found myself circling her shoulders to offer comfort. For once, the little lady didn't pull away. Thanks to my close association with Hijikata, I knew he was using Chizuru to send messages to Saitō in Tenman-ya. The man had been accused of the murder of Sakamoto - alongside with Harada - and his clan had asked for our help.
"Hai, people are unfair to him. But they don't know he was sent to Itō-sod as a spy."
Saitō refused to reveal his role to his colleagues; hence, he had not resumed his position as third captain yet.
"He just won't talk", Chizuru sniffled.
I smiled sadly; Saitō refused to tarnish Hijikata's reputation, taking upon himself to be called a traitor rather than accuse his superior. A smart move, but a sacrifice nonetheless. Chizuru's rightful frustration didn't surprise me, because Toshizō had also vented numerous times about the issue. He hated that a man so loyal to him would have to handle the blows that should have been aimed at him; it scorched his principles. Yet, airing the news would have defeated the purpose; the Shinsengumi were not solid enough to handle doubt at the moment.
So, fists clenched, he found the next best thing and took Saitō out of the coumpound to protect him. It also ensured Miura Kyutarō would be protected by the very best; two birds killed with one stone.
"He's as stubborn as our Fukuchō", I mused, impressed that such a young man could go so deep in his loyalties that he would accept to be scorned by his own peers.
"I don't understand, Kitsu. I don't understand at all why people can't see him."
But you do…
"The soldiers of his division know him best, but not the others. And it is a smart decision on his part, because it keeps the Shinsengumi strong."
And in awe of Hijikata, the glue that kept the group together. What would the men say if they learnt of the decisions he had to take ? Those less than black and white situations that had pushed him to order assassination, or torture ? Death of innocent people ?
Even though I hated to hear Saitō's name tarnished, I could only bow to the wisdom of his decision. Chizuru and I remained a while seated on the engawa, until the cold winds disloged us both.
"Need help with dinner ?", I asked.
The young woman studied me for a moment, as if she was discovering another facet of my personality. For a brief moment, I wondered what she was seeing. Then, a gentle smile bloomed upon her lips.
"Hai. Arigatō, Kitsu-san", was her laconic response.
I shrugged; Harada and I were scheduled for patrol this evening, but I had nothing better to do in the meantime. Well, except for hanging around a certain Vice Commander, but I needed to remain inconspicuous enough; we usually met at night. So I followed Chizuru to the kitchen, and started boiling water for the rice as she chatted with more agitation.
"I'll make some tea for Hijikata-san. Would you like to take a cup to Kondō-san as well ?", she asked.
I nodded; relieved to see her good humour return. I bet that woman would never succumb to depression; her cheerful manners had already chased away the heavy cloud of sadness. And my man would be happy with a cup of warm tea; nothing relaxed him like a good sencha, except for –
Crash !
The noise came from the common room. I gasped, the cast iron teapot nearly escaping my grasp.
"Stay back", I hissed, taking position in front of the little lady.
"Kitsu !", someone bellowed.
Harada !
I sprang out of the kitchen, finding the tenth captain fully geared and winded.
"Hurry up, Saitō's in trouble."
My blood ran cold and I sprang into action, forgoing the mantle as I flew behind Sanosuke. Shinpachi joined us at the gate with barely two men in tow. Yamazaki was there, all geared up, his face obscured by a cloth as he impatiently danced from foot to foot.
"Iku zo !", he ordered. And we followed. (let's go)
We tumbled down the streets in a mad dash. I had no idea where we were going; fortunately, Shinpachi did. His long strides forced me to run, my leather boots finding grip in the mud and the occasional rocky terrain; how they managed to race downstreet in waraji was mystery.
"How far ?", I yelled at Harada who ran by my side as my chest started to burn.
Already ? Come on !
"A quarter Ri !", he responded, not yet out of breath.
I cursed the poison that still impaired my lung capacity, and pushed my legs to cover the distance. I'd be damned if I slowed our unit, Saitō needed us. A quarter Ri, about a kilometer. I could do it, especially with this flat terrain.
The blood pounding in my ears barely covered the noise of our feet hammering upon muddy streets. People leapt out of our way, frightened by the charge. The flurry of light blue coats surrounded me, and I braced myself for an inside battle; like my colleagues assembled in haste, I had no protection, no armour. Not even a hachigane to cover my forehead; Hijikata would be furious.
Shinpachi's encouragements boosted me up and I flew the last hundred meters, gripping my sword with renewed strengh. The noise of wakisashis sliding out of the scabbard filled the air as we stormed into Tenman inn. At once, someone pointed to the stairs and we followed Shinpachi up, heart pounding, blades ready to deal with whatever threatened Saitō. I nearly stumbled upon a body; I spared it just a glance to ensure the man was dead, before pushing inside a large room.
Too late.
Shinpachi stopped dead in his tracks, and I nearly sent him crashing forward. My stomach suddenly lurched as I took in the state of the room; bodies were strewn apart, blood splattered on the walls. Harada's naginata passed right in front of my nose, thrust so fast that it retreated before I could fathom what had happened. The characteristic 'thud' of a body hitting the ground informed me that I had narrowly escaped a nasty gash.
Stupid me ! Getting distracted over… a blood bath.
"Kuso !", Shinpachi exclaimed, sidestepping Yamazaki.
A characteristic mop of dark hair called for my attention; Saitō was down ! A man stood over him protectively, his eyes fierce. Another man held his own cheek, blood seeping from the wound and coating his fingers. Three lay dead, many others wounded. The crashed partitions betrayed from whence the assaillants had come.
"Umedo !", Harada called. "Status?"
The man that stood over Saitō turned to the tenth captain division.
"More than a dozen ronins overcame us. Nakai slashed at Miura's cheek, but Saitō got him before he could kill him. Then the light went out, and we fought in the dark. Someone got the captain in the back."
Dread descended upon me and I skidded to my knees at Saitō's side, ignoring the moans of the wounded. The familiar smell of iron and copper filled my nose and I inwardly panicked.
"Hey, Hajime-kun", I called, hoping that Sōji's usual appellation would reach him. A groan was my response, and the captain tensed as he tried to lift his head.
Phew, he's alive.
My eyes roamed his back, finding a nasty slash, but nothing life threatening. Whether he'd been brought down by a blow to the head, or the shock remained to be seen. I set a gentle hand upon his shoulder. There was no pool of blood around him, the crimson liquid restricted to the back of his dark kimono. Meaning, no other damage.
"Don't move."
I felt Saitō's wiry muscles tense under my touch.
"Hai, Saitō-san", Shinpachi instructed. "Yamazaki will take a look before you rip any more flesh from your bones."
Shinpachi's soldiers were busy binding three wounded men in a corner of the room and I allowed myself to settle on my haunches, chest still heaving. The smell of blood was thick, but it didn't come from our favourite third captain. I felt so useless, popping in after the battle, too late to help Saitō and his men face their opponents three to one.
"Yabai…" (Oh shit)
I whirled around, finding Harada's pale face worrisome. At his feet lay another body; from the vacant look in the man's eyes, he had already departed to the other world.
Friend of foe ?
"Kondō-san is going to be devastated."
13th day of 13th month 1867
Five days had passed since the incident of Tenman-ya. Five days since Kondō's cousin had died, helping the third captain fend off the surprise attack. Saitō still winced whenever he changed positions, but he had escaped infection to our greatest relief. The wound was mending.
The mood had gone from bad to worse; not only had Kondō lost a member of his family in the skirmish, but the Shōgun had just fled from Kyotō to Osaka – officially, to strategise. At loss about what to do to cheer our Kyokuchō up, I wandered to the kitchen; apart from tea, there were no sweets left, no money, and I didn't have the skill to bake anything with rice flour.
Too bad Chizuru wasn't around. The kitchen, though, was the warmest place of the coumpound given the continual fire that blazed under the cauldron. I dropped tea leaves in a cast iron pot and started humming. As I counted to two hundred, my mind mulling over somber thoughts, a clinking noise alerted me of another's presence. Without interrupting my counting, I straightened to watch the door. Hijikata popped in, features weary, to place a parcel upon the tray I was preparing.
"That one is for Kondō-san", he stated.
I lifted an eyebrow, expecting more explanations than an order. It was a testament to how well Toshi knew me when he consented to elaborate.
"The Kishu clan send their condoleances."
"Money ?"
By now, Hijikata had gotten used to my ignorance about Japanese traditions and supplied a rudimentary explanation.
"Hai. It is customary to offer Okoden."
I nodded, taking in his slumped shoulders and the slight falter in his steps.
"Chotto matte, kudasai" (please wait a second), I murmured, retrieving the tea leaves from the cast iron pot before I set them aside for a second brewing. Hijikata hesitated, his posture rigid; I didn't give him time to mull over my request as I reached out and circled his waist with both arms.
My nose settled at his throat, and when his scent engulfed me, everything was fine again. I took a deep breath, relishing in the warmth of his presence; eventually, his stiff posture sagged, and his arms wound around me tightly. We remained thus nary a minute, not enough for the world to stop spinning as we both had duties to attend. But this bear hug did wonders for my mood, and I couldn't help but notice that Toshizō's features were less tense when I let him go.
"How did you know where to find me ?", I suddenly asked.
Full lips quirked slightly as he reached for the teapot I'd just brewed for Kondō.
"Hey !", I protested half heartedly. Hijikata straightened, mindful to keep his prize out of my reach.
"Just a coincidence."
Tea thief…
"That one was for Kondō-san !"
But I would never allow Toshi to suffer from the cold without a warm pot of tea, and he knew it. I'd never seen a man drink so much sencha.
"There's warm water left", he purred in my ear. "You can brew another."
A shudder ran up my spine and I found his eyes. Dark orbs trapped me for a moment, and we shared our hopes, our fears in that single glance.
Things are going to get difficult.
His gaze conveyed all of it, and I felt it too. So, before I allowed him to retreat, I climbed on my toes and dropped a gentle kiss upon his beautiful lips. Toshizō lingered a moment, his breath hot against my mouth, before he turned tail and disappeared, my teapot in tow. I watched him go with a gentle smile, then grabbed another recipient and started the process all over again.
Tch. Typical Hijikata.
Eventually, the second teapot was ready; I grabbed the tray and walked away to Kondō's room.
I found him scooped up with Saitō; they both accepted the cup of tea with relief. The weather was downright chilly, and we massed around the hibachi in hopes of warming up. I handed the parcel to Kondō, and decided that if he didn't send me away, I would stay for a while.
Manipulative ? Perhaps, given he was too damn nice to kick me out. A good page would have retreated the moment his duty was performed, but I felt that my presence wasn't unwelcome. Kondō opened the letter, fishing out four ōban – large gold metal plates - with a gasp.
"The Kushi clan sends 42 ryo as condolences for the death of Nobukichi", he stated, his voice thick with grief.
My heart went out to him, but boundaries prevented me from reaching out. So I just nodded, trying to calculate how much it amounted to in my head, and failing. I just knew it was a lot of money, but saying so might belittle Nobukichi's importance. Given my propension to put my foot in my mouth, I hoped that Saitō would comment on the fact in my stead. Of course, he didn't even say a word.
Kondō set one of the gold plates on the tatami mat and looked the third Captain in the eye.
"Once you are well, take the men drinking. They have fought well."
This time, Saitō reacted. But instead of pride, utter mortification settled on his features as his eyes slid to the floor.
"I cannot, Kyokuchō. It is by my failure that your cousin…"
"Stop apologising, Saitō. I am relieved we didn't lose you as well."
Despite his love for good sake, Saitō set his cup down and bowed low. I winced; there was no way the position wasn't pulling on any stitches, but the man was stubborn to death. So I turned to Kondō and attempted to salvage the situation.
"My condoleances, Kondō-san. I'm sorry we weren't early enough."
The Captain gave me a warm smile, one that didn't reach his eyes. Sadness swirled in their depth, but the words that came out of his mouth were the pure embodiement of the bushido code.
"My cousin died a good death, he honoured his family."
He honoured… you ?
I felt my eyebrows knit, the concept sinking in. Kondō was proud of his cousin, for he had performed his duty to the end. A slight shuffle called my eyes back to Saitō; he had resumed his formal position in seiza, and looked the Captain straight in the eye.
"Ha. We will drink to that."