Rachel Green stormed inside Central Perk, slamming the door behind her.
"Hey Rach," Phoebe said nervously, gripping her green tea. "Whatcha doing here in the middle of the day?"
"Stupid Mr. Zellner sent me home stupid early because he said 'my morale' was bumming people out," Rachel shouted, gesturing to Joey and Ross to move aside and make room for her on the classic orange sofa.
"So I guess month four of pregnancy is where the really nasty hormones kick in?" Joey asked sheepishly, receiving death glares from Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel in the process.
"I am going to grab you a muffin," Ross said helpfully.
"Make it hot water!" Rachel snapped. "I couldn't fit into my favorite work pants today – I think that was what set me off."
"Rachel, do you want more of my maternity clothes?" Phoebe asked helpfully.
Rachel bit her lip. "Phoebe, I am bitter and tired so I will tell it to you straight: your maternity clothes are heinous – even the pants you whipped out at Thanksgiving."
"Heinous?" Phoebe repeated quietly.
"It's the truth," Rachel shrugged. "I'm pregnant, so I don't have to be as polite as I was before."
"When was she polite before?" Joey muttered.
"What's that?" Rachel asked.
"I was just saying 'I hope your legs aren't too sore'. You know from the baby you're carrying."
"My legs are fine," Rachel said tersely. "It's my swollen feet that may be the death of me."
Ross returned with a cup for Rachel. "Here you go, sweetie."
"Ross, what is this?" Rachel asked, pointing to the large teal coffee cup.
"It's the hot water you ordered," Ross said quickly. "I offered you a muffin; you turned it down and said just hot water."
"Well you could have added some lemon to it," Rachel scoffed. "Must I do everything myself?" she asked, pushing herself up.
"Let me get it," Phoebe and Joey said together. Phoebe sent Joey a 'sit back down' glare and he listened.
"At least you're halfway right?" Joey said helpfully.
"Almost half way," Ross corrected.
"Mr. Scientist, so helpful – my pants don't fit because of you," Rachel whined.
"If I could carry the child for you I would," Ross insisted.
"Ross is a science person, he could make it happen," Phoebe said, returning with Rachel's lemon.
Rachel squirted the fruit in the water. "I know I'm being extra difficult today – it's the season," she moaned. "I went through Christmas, alone and single, and now I have New Year's Eve tomorrow, alone and single. I don't even have any plans," she threw up her hands.
"I invited you to the 'Night at the Museum' event that the university is hosting with the New York Museum of Prehistoric History," Ross pointed out.
"'Night at the Museum'," Rachel grimaced, "That just sounds like a super cheesy movie."
Ross straightened his posture. "I don't know, a movie about a night at the museum has real potential." Ross reached for a napkin. "I need to jot my idea down before someone else takes credit for it and starts a movie franchise!"
"No one is rushing to do that," Rachel muttered under her breath.
"Then I shouldn't have to worry about competition," Ross added triumphantly. "Let me know if you change your mind." Ross waved goodbye to the others.
Rachel offered a halfhearted wave.
"You could always join me for New Year's Eve," Phoebe offered. "I'm reuniting with my gang from my street days; they'd love an extra person."
"Pass," Rachel groused. "I'd rather go clubbing with Joey."
"I wouldn't recommend it for you, not being able to drink and all," Joey said quickly.
"What are Monica and Chandler up to this year?"
Rachel reached for a cookie from Joey's plate. "Some lame thing for Chandler's job that I can't even remember."
Joey snatched his plate away. "You're lucky your pregnant," Joey snapped, walking away, mumbling his mantra about how 'Joey doesn't share food.'
"Yeah, so lucky," Rachel muttered, sinking lower into the sofa.
"You know at least you have Ross in your corner," Phoebe reminded her.
"We all supported you when you were pregnant with Alice and Frank's triplets," Rachel pouted.
"What you and Ross have is different and you know it. Just something to think about."
Rachel stewed on Phoebe's remark the entire night and well into the morning. She knew full well how lucky she was to have Ross in her life, and in the baby's as well. I can apologize today; Rachel rationalized, feeling better after a good night's sleep. And I guess there are worse places to be than a museum on New Year's Eve.
Rachel crossed the street to Ross' apartment, armed with apology muffins which she had intended as breakfast but were now more of a 'brunch' given the timing. With as much confidence and poise as she could muster, she knocked on the door, only to be taken aback by the person on the other end.
"Hey there Rachel," Mona Carleton waved hello. "What brings you here today?"
Rachel narrowed her eyes, wanting to ask Mona the same question but thought better of it. Mona was Ross' new girlfriend, having first met her at Chandler and Monica's wedding last summer. "I wound up buying too many muffins, you know they were on sale, and I just can't say no, so I thought I would share them with Ross."
"Sure, come on in."
Rachel was surprised at how comfortable Mona seemed in Ross' apartment. To Mona's credit, she had seemed very understanding of the situation between Ross and Rachel once she was clued into everything, ultimately from Rachel's father in an angry phone visit intended for Ross.
"Ross is still picking out his outfit for the event tonight at the museum. He is so excited."
"Um-hmm," Rachel muttered, looking for clues to indicate whether or not Mona had taken Ross up on his offer to keep a copy of his key herself. All she was finding so far was Ross' standard dull apartment faire.
"He has been talking about it for weeks; I'm so excited to go with him."
"You're going with him?" Rachel asked, placing a hand on the coffee table.
"Well it is New Year's Eve," Mona pointed out. "And I know that a museum may not be the most romantic place to ring in the New Year, but at least we get to be together."
"You and hopefully several dozen other people," Rachel reminded her.
"We'll have more than several dozen," Ross said, holding out two suits for comparison. "Lots of RSVP's already, even a few of my students are coming – I promised I'd give them a full letter grade bump on their final exam if they came. I'm not above bribing," he joked.
"Ross you are going to be a hit no matter what you wear," Mona said. "I just can't decide between the navy or the grey. They both look equally great. And what I do know? I wear the same uniform to Alessandro's every day."
"The navy," Rachel said with certainty. "It will bring out your eyes better. Grey causes people to blend in, and you want to stand out."
Ross thanked Rachel for her choice. "I want to make a good impression with Donald Ledbetter, my old boss at the museum. We didn't leave things on best terms."
"Isn't he the guy that ate your sandwich?"
"You got upset over a sandwich?" Mona asked.
"It was a very 'special' sandwich," Ross said defensively. "I lost my temper, got fired, right when I thought I was going to get my job back, I see Chandler and Monica through the window and everything went south."
Mona nodded in an attempt to understand. "You're so passionate," she admired, touching his arm.
Rachel turned away from the display. "So if you guys don't mind a third wheel for tonight…"
"You're coming?" Mona asked, moving her arm off of Ross.
"Well…" Rachel said slowly.
"I invited her," Ross clarified for Mona, coming to Rachel's rescue. "She didn't have plans and I thought it would be a fun night for her."
"Somehow I don't see you as the 'museum' type, Rachel," Mona said, a tone evident in her voice.
Seeing that she was getting the higher ground, Rachel offered Mona a smile. "I went to plenty of museum events with Ross when we were together."
"Well I don't know about plenty," Ross cut in. "Usually I had to drag you to them –" Ross found himself cut off by an elbow jab from Rachel.
"This isn't going to be a problem for you, is it Mona?" Rachel asked in her best innocent voice.
"No, no, not at all," Mona said quickly in an attempt to recover. "I just hope your morning sickness won't get in the way of enjoying the event."
"I'll be just fine," Rachel said as Mona grabbed her purse.
"I am going to finalize my outfit for tonight," Mona said, giving Ross a kiss goodbye.
Rachel offered a showy wave to Mona when Ross wasn't looking.
"Great choice in muffins," Ross complimented, grabbing a blueberry.
"I wanted to apologize for yesterday at the coffee shop. I was upset over my pants and I took it out on everyone, especially you."
"We can blame it on the hormones," Ross offered generously. "Or the fact that you're body is changing, or…"
"Hormones," Rachel nodded. "And you don't mind if I join you tonight? I really don't want to be alone on New Year's Eve."
"You are going to be in great company," Ross said, clapping his hands. "I think you're more popular at the museum than I am. My colleagues kept asking about you even after we broke up."
"They did?" Rachel asked, perking up at the thought of fans. "Well that is so sweet. In terms of outfit, I may just wear whatever fits in my closet that passes for dressy."
"You look great in everything," Ross promised. "And I appreciate your feedback on my suit – you have the best taste in outfits."
"I sure do," Rachel agreed with a hair flip. "And Mona won't be too upset over my being there?"
"She'll be fine," Ross shrugged. "She has been surprisingly cool about everything with us. And she appreciates my dinosaur stories, which I know was difficult for you."
"Well we can't all be like Mona," Rachel said under her breath.
"What's that?"
"I really like Mona," Rachel said loudly. "For you," she finished, hoping that she sounded convincing enough to fool him. "Anyone who will stay with someone after all that key stuff from Christmas deserves a medal."
"I did put her through a lot," Ross agreed. "It wasn't cheap changing the locks after giving her a key, and then I had to explain to her why her key wasn't working, but in the end she understood."
"What time should I be here tonight?"
"Stop by around eight."
Rachel turned to go. "Can I ask you something?"
"Anything you want," Ross said, putting away the muffins.
"When you invited me yesterday, did you know that Mona was going?"
"Sure did. We had this planned out since Thanksgiving."
"Did she know that you were inviting me?"
Ross paused. "If you had said 'yes' yesterday, I would have told her."
"So you didn't ask her first?"
Ross wrinkled his eyebrows. "Why would I need to ask her first? You are the mother of my child; she knows you're in my life no matter what. She's cool with that. She'd have to be."
"Right," Rachel nodded. "See you both tonight." Closing the door behind her, Rachel quickened her step back to the apartment, convinced that Mona was not as 'cool' as Ross said she was. But she didn't have time to think about that. She had to go shopping for something in maternity that would work for a museum event. There was no way she was using anything in her closet.
Rachel turned once more in her full-length mirror. She had settled on some flattering black pants, a red sweater dress that masked her growing baby bump. She settled on a string of black pearls, a rare form of the pearl necklace, that would offset her sweater dress and match her small black hoop earrings. On her feet were Monica's boots that didn't quite fit right. Rachel, with her slightly narrower feet squeezed them in, knowing they would fit better if she wasn't swollen. "Timeless," Rachel said with confidence, ignoring the pang in her feet. Joey had already left for the night, most likely not returning until the following morning, giving Rachel the apartment to herself.
Heading out of the apartment complex and across the street, Rachel wondered what Mona would be wearing to the event. Five years ago, the gang had joked with Ross that not many paleontologists had girlfriends. Rachel smiled recalling the night when no one was ready, and Ross had steam coming out of his ears trying to get everyone out the door on a rainy night.
"Oh good you're here," Ross pulled Rachel inside the apartment before she could knock. "Advice on shoes!"
"I told him it doesn't matter, no one will be looking at his feet," Mona said, wearing a pale pink v-neck dress.
"Everything counts," Rachel insisted, appraising Mona's outfit. The color was washing out her already pale skin, and the skimpy black sandals added no character to the outfit. Turning to Ross, Rachel asked to see the shoes. "These," she said quickly, selecting black Oxford dress shoes.
"Thanks," Ross said quickly. "I think I'm just nervous about tonight."
"I told him he's making a big deal out of nothing," Mona insisted. "It's a New Year's Eve event – a party."
"You look terrific," Rachel encouraged, straightening Ross' tie.
Mona narrowed her eyes at Rachel. "Those boots, are you going to be okay in those?"
Rachel kept her focus on Ross, ignoring Mona's question for a beat.
"Aren't those Monica's shoes?" Ross asked.
Rachel shrugged. "I conned her out of him after Chandler's office Christmas party. Her feet were too wide for them."
"Are you sure yours aren't, what with you being pregnant and all?" Mona suggested.
Rachel turned to Mona. "I haven't felt my feet in years, and I wanted to make a good impression." Under her breath, so that only Ross could hear she added, "I thought she would want to do the same."
"Shall we go?" Ross suggested.
"I know how you like to be early," Rachel teased, taking Ross' arm.
Mona slipped herself into Ross' other arm and three of them started down the hall. "You sure are lucky."
"Why is that?" Ross asked, helping Rachel and Mona into a cab.
"How many professors get two dates to an important event?"
"He's the first one," Rachel answered, echoing Phoebe's jab at Ross from five years ago.
"I guess I am lucky," Ross agreed. "It's about time, too." Ross never had the best luck in the relationship department. His college sweetheart Carol, who he married, discovered she was a lesbian and divorced him, but not before getting pregnant with his child. Ross had been through a messy string of bad dates while spending two years pining for Rachel. After dating Rachel for a year, his next relationship was Emily Waltham; a whirlwind romance that led to a fiery ending after Ross gave a hasty proposal and said the wrong name at the wedding. Ross swore off relationships for at least a year after his second divorce, which took months to finalize with Emily in another country. After Emily, there was Elizabeth the college student. Surprisingly, Ross and Elizabeth kept a covert relationship for a few months before ending things in late spring. There were a few other dates here and there, and then Ross met Mona at Monica and Chandler's wedding.
Mona poked Ross's arm. "You look lost in thought."
Ross reached for Mona's hand. "I was just thinking about the past."
"Talk about a bummer," Rachel said off-handedly.
Ross sent Rachel a pointed look. "It wasn't all bad. There have been plenty of good moments."
Pausing in regret, Rachel nodded, and mouthed a quick, 'sorry' to Ross. She knew that she was prone to shoot off without thinking, and the pregnancy only exacerbated everything.
"Well I am more interested in the present," Mona said, inserting herself back into the conversation. "I've always wondered why Monica didn't introduce us sooner."
Rachel held her tongue, knowing that she had a comment at the ready. "Mona, have you ever been to the New York Museum of Prehistoric History?"
"No, I haven't. Until Ross, I've never really known that many people interested in science."
"Well see, now we both have that in common," Rachel moaned, stretching her left foot out.
"Still doing okay in those boots, Rach?"
"Yeah, yeah, I can make it through tonight," she grimaced, suddenly wishing she had saved the shoes for after having the baby.
"Good, because we're here," Ross said proudly, pointing at his old building.
"Terrific," Rachel mumbled as Ross helped Mona, and then her out of the cab. "Maybe there's a spot where I can sit for a minute."
"We'll find you something comfortable," Mona said quickly, grabbing onto Ross' arm.
She doesn't waste any time, Rachel seethed, relegating her night to that of the observer. She was going to do her own scientific research on Mona and Ross on a date.
"Here you go," Ross said gently, helping Rachel into a chair at one of the lobby tables. "I am going to grab you a sparkling water."
"Thanks," Rachel acknowledged, slipping her boots off her feet. "Time to take a boot break."
Ross sauntered over to the bartending area with Mona at his side, coming face to face with his old boss Dr. Donald Ledbetter. "Act like I'm telling you a funny joke," Ross instructed Mona.
"What?" Mona whispered, confused.
Ross frowned. If he had been with Rachel, she would have understood him right away and would have been happy to play along. "Come on," he hissed under his breath.
"Dr. Geller, is that you?"
Ross' head snapped to attention. "Dr. Ledbetter? I thought that was you but I wasn't sure," he in an effort to cover for himself.
"It's still me. You can still call me Don you know," he joked.
"Okay Don," Ross nodded. "It's been a long time."
"It sure has. How did all of that anger management work out for you?"
Mona shot Ross a confused look about 'anger management.' Ross pretended not to notice. "Very helpful, I really am all better now."
"Good, very good," Don nodded approvingly. "This is quite an event the university has put on with the museum."
"Thank you for noticing." Crowds were continuing to filter through the doors, indicating that evening was going well. The docents and guides flanked the halls, talking through their speeches for the college students and families in attendance. "It's been a while since I've been at the museum," Ross admitted. "But it really is good to be back." Ross seamlessly introduced Mona to Don.
"Pleasure to meet you," Don said, shaking Mona's extended hand. Don leaned to Ross as an aside. "I see you have a type."
"A type?" Ross asked, crinkling his nose.
"Blondes, can't blame you," Don joked, drinking another champagne. "Who was that one blonde that you used to date, the one with the hair."
"That would have been Rachel," Ross whispered back, grateful that Mona was distracted at one of the food tables. Ross cast a sideways glance at Don. "Can I get you some water?" he asked helpfully.
"Oh it's New Year's," Don joked, slapping Ross on the back. "Say, if you aren't with Rachel does that mean she's single?"
"Oh she's single alright." Ross pointed across the building. "See the woman sitting there in the center."
"The one with belly!"
"Want me to reintroduce you?" Ross asked, knowing full well that Don was no longer next to him. He snapped his fingers, realizing that he forgot Rachel's water. Heading back over to the beverage area, he came across Mona.
"You forgot to deliver this," Mona said, handing Ross a glass. "I'm sure she'd rather see you than me. I'm going to explore the halls."
Ross nodded, heading back to Rachel, who had her feet propped up on a spare chair.
"Was it busy over there?" Rachel asked, taking a grateful sip.
Ross slid into an open seat. "I ran into my old boss. Hey if he tries to talk to you or anything…"
"I can play dumb and use pregnancy brain." Rachel suggested. "No need to explain anything."
"Sounds good." Ross leaned back. Some things just seemed easier with Rachel than with anyone else.
Rachel touched Ross' shoulder, rubbing it gently. "You can relax," she encouraged. "I know this is your night, but you don't have to be 'on' all night."
Ross placed his hand on Rachel's. "I should be the one taking care of you."
"We take care of each other." Rachel closed her eyes.
"Regretting the boots?"
"No way." Rachel stretched one foot. "I am just about ready to slip them back on and walk a lap or two. Care to join me?"
"Sure."
"And would you mind helping me slip my boots back on?" Rachel asked hopefully.
Ross chuckled, reaching for the shoes. "There are some new exhibits since you've last been here, we'll go slow." Ross stood up, extending his arm to Rachel. "Let's go find Mona."
Rachel grimaced half out of pain in her feet and half out of hearing Mona's name. "We should be able to find her pretty quickly – I think she was the only one wearing dull pink."
"Be nice," Ross whispered. "You look pretty great tonight."
Rachel couldn't help but agree. "Yeah I do."
"They added a new fossil exhibit, on loan from the Smithsonian," Ross said proudly.
Rachel nodded along, watching Ross come alive while talking about his work. His passion for his work and his loyalty to his family and friends were one of the first things that drew her to him.
"There you two are," Mona said. "I found some figurines in the museum gift shop. I bought a set to commemorate tonight."
Rachel pulled her arm away from Ross, giving Mona the opportunity to slip in.
"You know, someone could make a whole movie about what goes on at a museum at night….they could call it –"
"Night at the Museum," Ross chimed in. "You really think it could work?"
"I'd go see it twice," Mona said.
Rachel shook her head, politely excusing herself from the group. "Maybe they have non-dinosaur things in the gift shop," she said to herself.
"Well you are in a museum after all," a male voice called out to Rachel, one that she recognized right away.
"Felix? Felix from the elevator?" Rachel asked, her eyes widening with recognition. She had met Felix four years ago on this very day in a mall elevator with Ross. They had all been locked in there for most of the evening.
"Rachel the gift returner," Felix said with a glint in his eye. "I remember you very well."
"Well I remember you too."
"Congratulations on your new addition."
"My what?" Rachel asked as Felix gestured to her baby. "Oh that," she blushed. "A lot has changed in four years."
"Changed for me too. Marilyn passed away a year and a half ago."
"I am so sorry," Rachel lamented."
"Want to spend some time catching up together?"
"I'd like that. Maybe somewhere where I can sit," Rachel suggested, gesturing to her shoes. "I chose looks over comfort tonight and I'm going through pain spells."
Felix led her to an outdoor garden area near one of the side entrances and pulled out a chair for Rachel. "Did you come here alone?"
"Not exactly," Rachel said slowly. "How much time do you have tonight?"
"All night. I came here with some bowling buddies of mine; they are more fans of dinosaurs than I am."
"I can relate," Rachel laughed as she began to catch Felix up on the past four years of Ross and Rachel drama.
"Then you never lost touch?" Frank asked.
"No, we almost did though when he married someone else. She didn't like me very much."
"She was probably jealous."
"Not gonna disagree with that," Rachel smirked.
"So after he said your name at the wedding, you got married, and now you're pregnant?"
"Here's the kick of it. We did get married in Vegas. We stayed married for maybe three months or so, though we shouldn't have been married at all because it was a mistake," Rachel said quickly.
"So you got divorced, got back together and are having a baby?"
"We got divorced, and then we had a onetime thing…which turned into this," Rachel finished, gesturing to her belly. "And he asked me to marry him, and I just, I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that he was only asking because I was pregnant."
"What if he didn't just ask you because you were pregnant?"
Rachel looked at the table. "It was a onetime thing."
"Really, even after all of your history, going all the way back to high school?"
"You remember everything," Rachel laughed softly, meeting Felix in the eye. "Ross is one of the best guys I've ever known, through all the years, he's stood by me. He's so decent and honorable, always wanting to do the right thing. But if it's for the wrong reason…"
"What if it wasn't for the wrong reason?" Felix asked again. "If you never talked to him about it…"
"He's seeing someone now, someone that he met before he knew about the pregnancy. I can't get in the way of that, I can't make him choose me or her."
"Why not?"
"Because if he chooses me and it doesn't work out, like our quickie marriage last year, I don't know if we'd recover. And now there's a kid involved." Rachel finished her water. "This is bigger than me now, bigger than both of us."
Felix reached for her hand. "Promise me this, and know that I am a very old man who has seen and been through quite a lot in his life. When Ross ends things with this other person, whoever she is, you will talk to him and tell him how you feel. That time that I lost with my Marilyn, I'm never getting that back. I don't want you to lose time with Ross."
Rachel squeezed Felix's hand. "When Mona is out of the picture, and Ross is in a good place, I will talk to him," Rachel promised. "You know Ross would love to say hello to you again."
Rachel walked with Felix down the museum halls looking for Ross. Finding Ross in front of a new dinosaur statue, Rachel waved him over. "Look who I found roaming the halls."
"Felix!" Ross exclaimed, clasping him on the shoulder. "I didn't know you were a museum fan."
"Marilyn and I were donors," Felix explained. "Rachel says you're teaching now."
"I am, I get to talk about my passion all day and sometimes people listen."
"Nothing new there," Rachel joked.
"And who might this be?" Felix asked, gesturing to Mona.
"This is my girlfriend Mona, and she loves my science stories," Ross said glaring at Rachel.
"Mona, what a great name, I had an acquaintance named Mona once. She was a chef."
"Well that's so interesting because I am a chef too!" Mona exclaimed.
Felix winked as Rachel, as he invited Mona to share more about her job.
Rachel turned to Ross. "How funny that we ran into Felix exactly four years later."
"I always told you great things happen at museums," Ross smirked. "In all seriousness, are you glad you came tonight?"
"I am. This is so much better than sitting alone with my chocolate bar stash and my trashy magazines." Rachel perked up and placed Ross' hand on her belly. "Someone wants to join us in the New Year's festivities."
Ross leaned into the moment with Rachel. "You really think our kid is going to be an athlete?" he asked skeptically.
"Well how else do I explain all of this kicking? Maybe she will be a cheerleader!" Rachel said excitedly.
"We can find out about the gender next month at our next doctor appointment," Ross suggested. "I have to figure out how soon a kid can go to science camp."
Rachel batted Ross' hand. "Science camp are you kidding me? Do you want our kid to get beaten up?"
"Why would our kid get beaten up? They'll be the most athletic person at science camp – they will rule the place."
"Lucky for them," Rachel teased as the museum announcements indicated a five minute warning till midnight. "Why don't you go find Mona and ring in the New Year with her this year?"
"You don't mind?"
"Wasn't that the original plan? Before I got myself a pity invite."
"You are not a pity invite ever," Ross assured her, taking her by the shoulder. "Whoever I'm with, they are going to have to get used to the fact that you are part of my package – you and the baby, for life. No matter what."
"I think Mona gets it, or she wants to. I, I guess I could see her as a third person in our little team. Go find her," Rachel encouraged. "One of us is going to have a great New Year's moment."
"What about you?"
"There's always next year," Rachel shrugged, waving Ross off. Spying Felix in the corner, Rachel tapped his arm. "Want a buddy to celebrate New Year's with?" she asked with a smile.
"Only if it's you," Felix laughed. "I scoped out the competition. She won't last long in the New Year."
"That's why I told him to go to her tonight. She can have tonight, but no matter what happens with Ross and I, there will be other holidays, other days, and other memories. Mona can have this one."
"That's very generous of you," Felix conceded. The fifteen-second countdown was now in full swing, with everyone shouting all at once and hanging on to their respective partners.
As Auld Lang Syne played over the speakers, Rachel pecked Felix on the cheek, her eyes meeting with Ross from across the room. Ross acknowledged her look with one of his own mouthing, 'Happy New Year'.