In the aftermath of something traumatic people often make life-altering decisions. Katniss is at that precipice what will she do? Will she continue her path with Peeta or will all of that change?
I do not Own The Hunger Games
When Katniss woke up she was in bed, Peeta was by her side. Her throat was sore and scratchy. "Peeta."
"Mrs. Everdeen, she's awake," Peeta said. He grasped her hand and she was glad for his presence beside her.
Katniss tried to sit up but her head spun. She clutched the hand she was holding tightly. Her eyes found Peeta's and he looked alarmed.
"It's okay," Peeta said quietly. "I'm here."
"Katniss, you have to take it easy," Her mother said.
"Mom?" Katniss called out feeling weak.
"You gave us quite the scare," Her mother said quietly."
Peeta made a motion to stand. Katniss didn't want Peeta to go away and she gripped his hand.
"Your mom has to check you," Peeta said.
"What happened?" Katniss asked.
"You weren't feeling good, and you threw up when you came back from the woods," Peeta said, giving her a pointed look.
Katniss blinked, understanding the unwritten communication.
"Peeta, can I have a moment with Katniss?" Her mother asked.
"I'll be right outside the door." Peeta placed a soft kiss on top of her forehead before leaving the room.
"You fainted and Peeta had the good sense to send his father to come and get me.'" Her mother looked into her eyes with a bright small flashlight checking her vitals. But Katniss could see her mother was furious.
Her mother helped Katniss sit up.
"Breathe in," Her mother ordered.
Katniss took deep breaths in and exhaled as her mother listened to her breathing.
"When I get my hands on Gale!" Her mother looked at Katniss. "You have to report this to the Peacekeepers."
"I know."
"Were you in the district?" her mother said.
"We were in the meadow," Katniss said quietly. "I feel like I betrayed Peeta. Like I did wrong."
"You didn't do anything wrong Katniss."
Katniss glanced at her mother. "Then why do I feel bad?"
"Because that's the way he made you feel. It's what they do, they make you feel bad."
Katniss looked down at her hands.
"When I was younger there was this boy who tried to take advantage of me during the harvest festival. I was fourteen, he was fifteen. It was the first time I was old enough to be on the dance floor. My dress was pink with a bow at the back, lace overlay, and ruffled sleeves."
Katniss could imagine the dress in her mind. It was sweet and perfect for a 14-year-old girl who was going to take her first foray into society.
"The boy whose name I will not mention was a family friend. I trusted him and the night of the dance he told me a group of his friends were going to have fun." Her mother stopped to take a breath. "Stupidly I fell for his trick. Like Gate, he made unwanted advancements. I fought back."
Katniss gasped, flashes of her own struggle surged in her mind.
"Nothing more happened, my dress was ruined. Thankfully your father and Lionel saw when I walked away. They didn't trust him, and followed him and found him and pulled him away."
Katniss was shocked.
"Later on he tried to intimidate me. Told me if I said anything nobody would believe me. He said that my dress was provocative. He tried to make it seem like it was my fault as if I caused his behavior. Said I was flirty and begging for it. He never saw he was wrong. Never saw that trying to take advantage of a young vulnerable innocent girl was incorrect. I didn't know there were rumors about him, about the way he treated other girls. I was so young that I believed him. Thank goodness for your father, he told me no man had the right to do what that boy did. your father convinced me to go to the authorities. I reported that boy to the Peacemakers."
"What happened after?"
"Truthfully nothing, the boy caught the pox and died." Her mother looked into the distance. "Your father called it justice."
Katniss was surprised. Her mother didn't share much about her life before marriage. For a long time, Katniss thought it was because her mother's family turned their backs on her. Hearing that her mother had gone through something similar caused Katniss to know that she could make this go away. She needed to confront Gale.
"What Gale did was wrong, and you didn't cheat on Peeta. You might feel like it because that's what they do, they make you feel dirty but you aren't."
Katniss nodded. On some level, Gale was doing the same thing to her. Trying to make her feel as if her decisions were wrong. Trying to coerce her into accepting a future with him when her future belonged to one person, herself.
"Katniss, I want you to know Peeta reported it to Darius. He's waiting just outside to take your statement."
Katniss nodded. "Can Peeta join me ?"
"Of course, I'll also be here." Her mother opened the door.
Darius shuffled into the room, his hands clutching the pad. "Hey, Katniss."
Peeta came in behind him and sat on the bed next to her.
"I'm here for you," Peeta whispered. He offered her his hand and she held onto it because he grounded her.
"Whenever you are ready," Darius said. "Take your time and tell me what happened this morning."
She took a deep breath and she closed her eyes. "I was in the meadow staring at the sunrise." She opened her eyes to stare into Darius's face.
The recognition in Darius's face that she'd been hunting caused heat to tinge her face.
"Katniss often comes to visit Prim and me, early in the morning. She drops off bread," Mother quickly said.
Darius lifted an eyebrow but politely wrote down her mother's words. "I'll take your statement next Mrs. Evereen." Turning to Katniss he asked, "What happened next?"
Katniss flinched as her mind went back to that moment. "Gale surprised me. I was making my way back home. He told me that he was sorry for the way he'd acted on Monday."
"Monday? What happened then?"
"I should start from the beginning."
"I think you should."
"It began really at the moment from the moment I told Gale I was marrying Peeta."
"Was this the day that I pulled Peeta off of Gale?"
"Yes."
Darius broke out of character and whistled lowly. "Gale was angry-he swore he was going to get back at Mellark before I brought him home."
Katniss had no idea Gale said such things.
"Even though you didn't press charges, I still had to write a book report. Because I was called and I had to use physical force to separate you both."
"I thought things were settled and I even invited the Hawthorne's to the wedding and the reception." Katniss sighed. The beginning twinges of a headache slithered through her head. "During the reception, Peeta and I announced we were going to wait 30 days to have our Toasting."
Katniss looked at Peeta. He gave her a short approving nod.
"Gale took our announcement the wrong way. Last Sunday he tried to convince me that he was the man for me. He told me he didn't believe that my marriage to Peeta was real because we didn't have a Toasting."
Her mother huffed.
"In his mind, Gale believes that somehow Peeta is tricking me. Needless to say, he grabbed me…got heated. I got away but I didn't report it. I went to see him on Monday. I wanted to see if we could fix things. I wanted to let him know that what he didn't wasn't right. I'm married. Once more he made a grab at me but thankfully River was there and his mother overheard and saw him try."
Darius wrote everything down. "Go on."
"So today I saw him and I tried to walk away. I knew speaking to him wouldn't change his perspective. Then Gale said he was sorry about what he did on Monday but that he wasn't sorry for the things he said or the way he felt." Katniss stopped speaking, trying to find the words. Peeta squeezed her hand, a sign that he was with her. "I told him it was my life..." Her voice became quieter as she recalled the feel of Gale's lips upon hers, his ashy smell, the unbridled anger. The way she was helpless as he manhandled her, shaking her while his hands violently gripped her arms.
Darius paused writing.
"He laid his hands on me...insinuated that I …" Katniss looked at Peeta. "I try to get away. I stood as far as possible but he snuck up on me. He grabbed me, and forced his lips on me," Katniss whispered. That moment was burned into her memory the shock and helplessness of not knowing what to do. "I fought, I tried to get away."
"Katniss-" Peeta said.
At that moment everything and everyone faded away. Her eyes were on her husband. With her eyes, she implored that he understand.
"I'm sorry." She mourned that she had broken some invisible trust between Peeta and herself. "I feel like I did you wrong."
"It's not your fault," Peeta whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong."
"He kissed me," she whispered. The guilt ate her up on the inside. Her hands shook when she recalled the feeling of having someone else that wasn't Peeta so close. It felt wrong, and she hated feeling so helpless. Loathed the tears that formed in her eyes. "I tried to stop him, I swear."
Peeta reached out and placed his hand on her cheek. She hadn't realized that she had been rubbing her lips roughly as if to erase what Gale did to her.
"He took advantage of your friendship Katniss."
"I feel so dirty." Katniss lowered her eyes. "I hate that I let it happen."
Peeta tipped her chin up so that they faced the other. His voice was thick with emotion. "Gale took advantage of your trust because he's your friend and hunting partner. He selfishly ignored what you said to him and forced himself on you. He's tried before to hurt you. I'm sorry that I wasn't there to help you."
Hearing him say those wonderful words, that he didn't find fault with her caused her to be able to breathe since she began speaking. Tears fell from her eyes. "He shook me so badly I think I lost balance..."
"That bastard," Peeta muttered.
"Katniss," Darius called. "Katniss what else happened? did you try to... "
Even Darius couldn't say the word that everyone was thinking.
"I kicked him between the legs. When he let go I ran, until I got here."
"Good. I would have done the same thing," Her mother spat. Her face was red and blotchy from the anger. Her normally tranquil pale blue eyes burned with her raging ire.
"What else happened?" Darius asked gruffly.
"I became ill, I threw up and blacked out. Peeta sent for my mom."
"Mrs. Everdeen, I'll take your statement outside, but I do need to take pictures of Katniss' injuries."
Katniss nodded. Peeta's eyes flashed at the vicious dark blue, red, marks left behind by Gale on her arm. Her arms were tender and swollen. It was strange to sit there as her limbs were carefully cataloged. Her olive skin tone a backdrop to the rage she experienced. Katniss was surprised that Darius took images of her face and neck.
"I'm going to take your statement, Mrs. Everdeen," Darius said quietly. He turned to Katniss, "Gale will be brought up on charges but most likely he'll be given a warning since this is his first offense."
Katniss looked down as Peeta put a blanket around her arms, as Darius took her mother's statement.
Katniss could see just how upset her mother was.
"Thank you, Darius," her mother said to the Peacekeeper as he left.
"Peeta I need you to make sure you rub this salve on her body. Also, she will be tired. I think a few days in bed will help her recover. I'll ask Lionel to come with me to the Apothecary. I'll show him which salve to buy."
Peeta left with her mother.
Katniss was left alone with her whirling thoughts. This is what her friendship with Gale had come to. It was a sad moment but one that began when he didn't recognize her marriage to Peeta. Yes it was a marriage of convenience and they agreed to give this a try for thirty days but it was turning into something more.
Peeta came rushing in. "Are you okay?"
"Thirsty," she sighed.
Peeta poured her a glass of water and handed it to her. She drank all of the contents from the glass.
Katniss knew they needed to talk about the big elephant in the room. Gathering her courage she opened her mouth, "Thank you for telling my mom about...about…" Katniss swallowed feeling nauseous all over again.
"Katniss, your mother would kill me if I didn't share with her what Gale did. Besides, I think it looked pretty poorly if District Twelves healer murdered someone."
Katniss laughed. She stood up and walked to the bathroom. She gasped at her reflection. Her lips were bruised and swollen. She had a bruise on her face and on her neck. She braced her shoulders even as tears fell from her face.
"Never again,'' she vowed. She was done allowing Gale to hurt her, treat her poorly, and drag her name through the mud. Her eyes flashed with anger and determination.
She was burning with fire, and she realized that this wasn't her fault. This was the fault of a man who couldn't accept reality. The sent of ashes and citrus hung in the air. She wanted to get him off her, erase his scent, his memory, and everything that reminded her of her ex-hunting partner.
"Katniss are you alright?" Peeta knocked on the door.
Katniss opened the door and saw that Peeta's face was red but not from embarrassment, of her being in the bathroom, it was from anger. She reached her hand and placed it on top of his. "Are you alright?"
"To be honest no, I really want to find him and…"
"Beat the crap out of him, tear his spleen out through his nose?"
Peeta laughed. "First ewe the spleen, how is that even possible? And yes I want him to hurt him, the way he hurt you. I'm angry at him because he injured you, and I couldn't stop him."
"Peeta."
"I'm sorry Katniss."
Hearing him apologize caused her to see that he was as broken just like she was. He was another victim of Gale's stupidity.
"Gale's an idiot."
"Yeah, he is."
"You're not him Peeta," she squeezed his hand. "I'm thankful for the way you are."
Peeta slipped his free hand to her cheek and pulled her close to him, their foreheads touching. "It's you and me Katniss, we're a team."
Katniss understood.
Peeta gently let go of her and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"I want to take a shower."
"Okay, I'll stand right outside the door and if you need me I'll be right in."
It was silly that he would want to stand outside of the bathroom door but it was also comforting.
"Thank you."
Katniss left the door slightly open. She stripped and showered and as the water pelted her body she felt the stress of the day leave her. It also rid her of that stench. The water cleansed her and strengthen her resolve to find a better tomorrow. It was accessible, within her reach, if she was daring enough to reach out to get it. Shutting off the water Katniss felt like herself for the first time since she stepped out of the forest to admire the sunrise.
When she got out of the bathroom she found pajamas folded neatly waiting for her.
Smiling, she was grateful for Peeta. When she opened the door he was waiting outside.
Peeta gently led her to the bed. He laid her down and then laid himself down. They were both facing the other.
It felt very comforting for Katniss to be near Peeta.
"I just don't understand why he can't let go of me. I don't want him, nor do I want to be around him anymore."
"Because he loves you and you're the best thing in his life. He thinks," Peeta's voice became quieter as he spoke, "That if he could convince you to give him a chance that you both would be happy beyond belief."
Katniss frowned and suddenly she thought that perhaps Peeta wasn't talking about Gale. He was talking about himself. And she questioned if there was such a female in his life. The jealousy that she felt consumed her, then she recalled they were married and Peeta would be hers for the remainder of the month. She wasn't going to share him with anyone.
"Can I hold you?" Peeta asked.
Katniss wordlessly moved into his arms. She grasped his arms as if she was drowning. His hand slipped to her back and he gently massaged her back and construction circles. "Don't let go," she whispered.
"I won't," Peeta fervently said.
Katniss sighed into his arms she was never going back to using those damned pillows again. Katniss was going to make changes in her life and it started tonight with the pillows.
She was determined to stay past the thirty days.
Thank you all for your wonderful words last week. that chapter was deeply personal to me. And I was very afraid to share it- so my humble thanks. BTW Gale will get his comeuppance- I promise.