Disclaimer:
I do not own the story and the concepts represented in this fiction. This fiction and all Persona-related fictions belong to Atlus, the fantastic company that created the games.
Author's Notes:
Thankfully, it did not take me too long to update this story. My workload has reduced significantly, and I have regular days off again. So, updates should be more frequent, hopefully. There's not much to say about this chapter other than a few remain until stuff hits the fan and crazy comes out!
Comment to Reviews:
maelstrom969: Thank you so much for all your reviews and thoughts on this story. Honestly, writing about possessive Haru is kind of fun. It's made better because I can see her being very jealous and acting on it. Also, I have yet to play Strikers. I've heard the story, and the gameplay perfectly fits Persona 5, so I need to check it out.
eniox27: Hey, thank you for the feedback. Writing chapter 21 was truly something I had to think carefully about. I literally had one of my friends review beforehand and rate its sexy and realistic factor.
Spayse-Wizurd: Hey! I love the name. It's really different. Thank you for the feedback and your thoughts. I really do appreciate it. As I mention in the Author's Note, when the crazy hits, it will hit. I got a big kick explaining wilder aspects of the story to my beta reader and seeing their reaction.
codywhite162: Your praise made my face break in the widest smile ever! Thank you for your feedback, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story.
lightning-187: Thank you so much for your review and feedback. As you can imagine, I ship Haru and Akira 100 percent. Though, the entire female cast is absolutely amazing, too! And yes, an honest Haru is a wonderful Haru.
Prince of underbrush: You know, I haven't realized how long it's been since I've started this story. It's been going on for a year or so. Huh, well, anyway, thank you for the review. I always appreciate your thoughts and feedback and strive to update more frequently!
After
11/28
Haru wakes up, showers, dresses, then greets Ann in the kitchen. A fog in her head numbs her senses when she opens her eyes and begins her day. Though there are differences, she starts to feel the same every day.
Ann's house is a different type of luxury from hers. While Haru's dwelling is modern and efficient, Ann's home is timeless, curved, and cozy. She feels a peace here that doesn't exist at her home.
Ann usually greets her in the kitchen. Due to Haru's average culinary skills, breakfast is a trying affair for both young women. At the same time, Ann can't cook and prefers sweets.
Still, the mornings become more pleasant the longer Haru stays.
Afterward, Ann and Haru travel to school together and partake in idle chit-chat. Today, Ann swears her grades are improving because of Haru's lessons. The older girl smiles and rebukes the claim.
Despite all her initial worries, the numbness doesn't impact her grades. Haru is still in the top five for her year and steadying rising with her study sessions with Mako-chan. While she doesn't strive for Mako-chan's number one spot, Haru entertains the idea of being number two.
Studying isn't the only thing that preoccupies her, though. When the school day ends, Haru joins Mako-chan for an hour or two at the gym. She even convinces Ann to join most days.
The workouts are challenging and demanding.
Haru feels sore after every weight, run, or spar, but she's steadily improving. Still, however, the fog persists. It lingers as she strains her body and feels temporary relief from the numbness.
It remains, no matter how hard she pushes and pushes and pushes.
Once they shower and change, the trio dines together at Ann's house, Mako-chan's with her sister, or a restaurant. Futaba usually joins them whenever they eat, letting her disdain for exercise known quite well.
Haru adores the time she spends with her friends.
It makes things bearable, but it doesn't provide the relief she craves, the shattering of her senses that dissipates the fog and makes everything feel real.
This sensation she wants even as she smiles at Ann nods at Mako-chan and agrees with Futaba.
This sensation drives her to lie to Ann about an urgent errand, text Akira, and race to Leblanc.
As Haru nears the entrance, she thinks she sees something like a tail swaying in the dark past her. Haru discards the notion. Opening the door, Akira stands to meet her and stares at her in awe.
Haru feels warmth and adoration inside her chest at the sight of him. Then, the feelings dissipate when she sees the defeated look in his eyes. She wonders if he knows how miserable he looks.
"Haru," Akira says, "evening."
"Good evening, Akira," replies Haru. "Hm, I don't see Mona-chan anywhere. Is he around?"
"No, he left just before you came in."
"Oh." Which explains the tail she saw moments ago.
"Yeah," the raven-haired youth says with a sigh. "Ever since Morgana caught us on the roof, he's been making an effort to give us space."
"O-Oh, I see," Haru says, looking away as blood rushes to her face.
"Black-mailing troll keeps demanding too much sushi, too," Akira mummers as an afterthought.
Haru could giggle at his annoyance but felt the effort would be too draining. Instead, she opts to smile at Akira when their eyes meet. Offhandedly, Haru wonders what he sees when he looks at her. The wants and needs are coiling in her stomach or what lays underneath it all: the hopelessness.
It is like an intangible substance that weighs over her form like a thick, heavy blanket. She wakes up wondering if today is the day someone will notice the weight dragging her down or the dullness in her eyes, or even the sluggishness behind her actions. It has become a guessing game of sorts, waiting for the moment when anyone realizes there is something truly off about her.
Would it be Ann, who she sees every morning and night? Makoto, who shares the majority of her classes? Perhaps, it will be someone closer to a stranger? Or maybe, just maybe, the raven-haired youth she's come to depend on so much.
He doesn't, of course, so Haru approaches him to do what she intends.
What comprises the entirety of their relationship? She kisses him with the intensity of a hungry animal seeking nourishment. Then, when Akira is as hungry and wanting as she is, she takes his hands in her.
"We'll talk about splitting the cost of Morgana's sushi later. Now, why don't we go upstairs?"
As they have done so many times before, they embrace upon reaching the attic. Articles of clothing are thrown about as their mouths and hands trace each other's bodies until they both fall onto Akira's bed. Haru knows the release and pleasure she experiences from their session will chase the weight over her shoulders, if only for the night. Pushing the young man down, she situates herself firmly on top.
11/29
In the morning, before Akira is awake – his sleep appears deep and peaceful – Haru begins locating her clothes that always end up scattered around the attic. Dressed and moderately presentable, Haru presses a kiss against the raven-haired youth's cheek before descending downstairs. It is such a tiring affair summoning the discipline and willpower to disentangle herself from Akira's warm embrace and journey back to Ann's place.
Surprisingly, this discipline and willpower persist despite the dark thoughts that seem to arise from nowhere every morning. Nonetheless, Haru presses onwards. She takes the first train to Ann's house, using the key the blond underclassmen provided her to enter, and prepares for the day.
When said blond descends downstairs from her room, she approaches the kitchen and double-takes at all the food on the kitchen table.
"Woah!" Ann spots Haru rounding the corner to the kitchen. "Haru, did you make all this?"
"Morning, Ann," the young woman replies. "I hope you don't mind. I was feeling peckish and decided to make us some breakfast for a change."
Teary-eyed, Ann approaches Haru to engulf her in a hug. "Ohh! You're the absolute best! Where'd you even learn to make all this? I see eggs, bacon, oooh, is that tamagoyaki? Marry me, please!"
"Ann," Haru giggles, returning the hug. "Only if you eat and we make it to school on time."
The twosome waste no time indulging in their food while Ann moans and sighs her approval. Numerous times the question, "Where'd you learn to make this?" arises, to which Haru only smiles and answers vaguely.
Internally, however, an older woman with a refined, beautiful face and sharp eyes comes to mind. And whenever she does, Haru pushes the image away as desperately as she can.
X
After the bell rings, signaling the end of the school day, Haru quickly collects her belongings. She wants to depart immediately, perhaps go to the roof and promptly assess her garden's health. Still, she can't without exchanging pleasantries with Mako-chan.
"Haru," the young woman greets, smiling. "How was today for you? Understand everything, alright?"
"Perfectly," Haru replies. "Our study sessions are helping me better grasp my classes. I'm trying to mirror how you teach me so I can help Ann with her classes."
Mako-chan's smile widens, the light in her vibrant eyes shining a deeper red. "That's great! That's one less person to worry about. Now, if we could only find some way to motivate Ryuji, too."
Haru laughs. She can't help it – Mako-can's desire for all of them to succeed academically is positively charming. One of the many reasons Haru adores spending time with her. "Ryuji avoids studying as much as Akira avoids sleeping with a shirt."
Mako-chan's expression stills. "W-What? How do you know that?"
"Morgana," Haru replies immediately, kicking herself for brazen comparison. "H-He sometimes complains to me when I visit Leblanc for coffee."
"O-Oh, ok, of course." Mako-chan nods, eyes in the distance. However, the redness blossoming on her face stirs something ugly in Haru's chest.
On top of the unfortunate events plaguing her life, Haru doesn't want to think about the attention Akira attracts from other women. No, she doesn't want to think about how Ann sometimes smiles too widely at him or how Futaba clings to his arm whenever they are together. Nor how Makoto hangs onto his every word as if he is reading the gospel itself. Not to mention the numerous other women he secretly dallies with all over the city.
No, allowing those thoughts to surface conjures dark, angry, possessive feelings that make her fingers itch for firewood to cleave with her ax. So, as politely as she can, Haru bids Mako-chan farewell.
"Haru," Mako-chan calls as Haru approaches the exit. "Is…everything ok?"
Haru stops — a mighty thundering in her chest at her friend's question. Did she notice? Had someone finally realized or exposed her?
Haru turned around. "Y-Yes, Mako-chan."
Mako-chan's eyes scanned the classroom, ensuring it was empty, before saying, "About the other day, at – you know – Shido's palace and your persona. Do you feel ok?"
The pounding in Haru's chest subsides a little but is still loud enough to make the sensation sound like it isn't coming from her. Finally, she thinks. Someone who cares notices!
Haru opens her mouth, feeling an explosive wave of emotions and words begging for release. Except she can't. "I – I am starting to feel a bit better. M-Maybe it is the stress of everything, you know?"
Mako-chan nods, opening her mouth to say more, but Haru exits the classroom before she can. Haru's eyes sting as everything that was begging for release in her throat becomes a throbbing pain.
X
The sun overhead begins to set slightly overhead. As the date itches closer and closer to the holidays, there is a noticeable increase in the number of people navigating the streets. The date is also nearing the deadline for Shido's palace.
Haru shakes her head and banishes the thought. Since the incident with her persona, she has not attempted further contact with her other self. The state of her persona is a mystery she is unwilling to unravel. It hurts nonetheless, though – the thought of holding the team back. Perhaps they would have completed the infiltration if not for her situation.
But, she tells herself, there's nothing I can do about it.
Haru inhales and rolls her shoulders, the grocery bags in her hand swaying a little. Despite carrying enough food for a small family, they are not heavy. She has Mako-chan and her relentless workouts to thank for that.
When she reaches her destination, she feels a surge of energy that lifts her spirits. The Church of Kanda is a genuine marvel. It is not only due to its gothic architecture but also the services it provides to those in need. As she nears the entrance, the door opens for her, revealing three faces that peer from inside like the heads of a totem pole.
When they spot Haru, the church doors fling open, and Haru is surrounded all at once.
"Haru-chan!"
"Haru-onee!"
"Haru-Haru!"
"Fumi-chan, Hiroto-Kun, Hiroshi-Kun," greets Haru. "Could you help me with these?"
She meant for them to lessen her load, but the three younglings take it upon themselves to carry everything.
"Oh," Haru attempts to interject, "I can hold a couple, don't worry."
But Fumi shakes her head, taking the last grocery bag from Haru and following behind the two boys. "It's ok, Haru-onee! You brought them here. Aina-san always says to return the kindness people do to you."
Fumi marches inside the church with a resolute nod while Haru stands rooted in place, contemplating the little girl's words – wise words that warm Haru's chest. Without a doubt, the Church of Kanda is a ray of light that fills her with joy each time she visits.
"Haru-onee," says Fumi, poking her head from inside the church. "Y-You're coming to spend some time inside, right? You aren't too busy?"
"No, course not," says Haru, shaking her head. "I came just for all of you."
A bright smile illuminates the young girl's face. "Ok! Come on! Today's board game night!"
Haru returns the smile and follows behind Fumi.
The inside of the church never fails to amaze Haru. She's never been present during service, but she can imagine the pews filled with people paying rapt attention to the priest.
Further ahead, her eyes stray to the pew to the front, closest to the confessional. She can't help it. Her treacherous mind recalls an incident she'd rather forget. She visited the church by herself and took Akira with a gorgeous girl with long dark brown hair and green eyes. The entire interaction still sends tendrils of unpleasantness through Haru's chest. Akira seemed so happy conversing with the young woman. How he appeared almost shocked or dismayed by Haru's sudden appearance — and how he almost seemed relieved once she left.
Haru tries to smother the emotions brewing in her chest somewhere deep down. She can feel it as if it were cement, filling her stomach and slowly hardening her insides.
If I don't think about it, it doesn't matter, she tells herself.
Directly across the confessional, adjacent to the altar, is a door that leads to a walkway. The long walkway is beautiful – an ample, unrestricted space with green grass and perfectly trimmed bushes surrounding it. It is almost enough to quell the earlier memory of a certain someone. Despite carrying most of the bags, Hiroshi holds the door open for everyone while Hiroto leads the group.
At the end of the walkway is their destination, the secondary building connected to the church. There, a lone figure waits for them.
"Oh, dearies," says Aina-san, smiling gently. "I was wondering what was taking so long."
Her gentle smile grows significantly at the sight of Haru, and she steps forward to hug the young woman. "Haru-chan, it's so wonderful to see you."
"Likewise, I apologize for not visiting as of late."
"Nonsense," says Aina-san. "You should've seen the faces on the children when Kazuo-san said he spotted you on the camera."
She takes a step back, accessing Haru. "How are you feeling?"
Before they can surface, Haru smothers the feelings stirring in her chest.
"Better," she lies smoothly. "Being here helps. Fumi told me that today is game night?"
"Yeah!" Fumi chirps. In her excitement, the bags in her hands sway, and numerous glass jars click against each other.
"Here, let me," Haru says to the girl, lessening her load.
"Oh, my," Aina-san says, "so much! We won't have to shop for another week. Come now, let's get everything inside."
The interior of this building is more modern, resembling the entrance to a quaint lobby. Aina-san directs the group inside. Behind the circular desk on the left wall are numerous church staff photographs, well-known public figures, foreigners, and esteemed donors. Try as she might, Haru's eyes can't help but linger on a particular photo of a man staring stiffly into the camera.
Staring at the picture of her father, Haru expects the floodgates to burst open – for everything she's bottled up to spill out. Instead, she finds herself feeling colder.
Maybe I'm not normal, she thinks before looking forward again.
Pass the desk is a staircase and a hallway with a single door to the wall's right side. Aina-san leads them to the door and opens it to reveal a somewhat puzzling sight. Kazuo Goya, the church's resident handyman, sits cross-leg on the floor with Akane and Ren. The trio is engaged in an intense card game when Kazuo-san sees them and smiles broadly.
"Oh, well, that's too bad, kids," he says. "Aina is back so that she can supervise you all."
"Hey," says Akane, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "You're only saying that because you're losing badly! Ren's going to win."
Ren shakes his head, ducking his gaze behind the cards in his hand.
"Yeah, yeah," Kazuo-san nods, making a quick escape. "Hey, look at what you're all carrying. Here kids, let me get that. Oh, and Haru-chan! It's been too long. How have you been?"
"I'm well, thank you." Haru steps to the side, giving the older male her portion of the groceries. He also extracts the bags from the children's hands before he exits the room.
"Glad to hear. Anyway, be back soon!"
"Oh, he's too energetic for his age," Aina-san says, smiling. "Haru-chan, do you mind watching over the children while I finish preparing their dinner? The meats shouldn't take much longer."
"Take as long as you need," says Haru. "I'm happy to watch over them."
"Thank you." Facing the group of children, she says, "Everyone, dinner will be ready shortly. I expect you all to behave while Haru-chan watches over you."
Aina-san receives a loud chorus of "Yes, ma'am" from the group.
Haru watches her go before turning to the five children sitting together and talking excitedly about the card game. Haru moves to the sofa on the far left wall. With nothing to do, she observes each youth.
Akane, the tallest youth, patiently explains the game rules to Fumi, Hiroto, and Hiroshi. Today, her light-brown hair is styled in a ponytail that sways whenever she turns her head to point something out. Her light-brown eyes shine brilliantly in the presence of her friends, making it known how much she enjoys their company. Her outfit matches her – a white T-shirt with a picture of a cartoon sun grinning, navy-blue shorts, and black slip-on shoes.
To Akane's left sits Fumi, who listens intently to Akane's explanation. Fumi is the only other girl that comprises the group. She has short black hair that reaches her chin. Her eyes, a deep dark brown, are pensive, giving a reflective, thoughtful impression. This is more often than not whenever the younger girl finds an interesting piece of literature. Fumi also wore an outfit Haru's seen on her before – a blue shirt with a sparrow design, a navy blue skirt, slightly long white socks, and green shoes.
Next to Fumi, and perhaps the one having the most trouble understanding the rules, is Hiroto. Hiroto is the shortest and youngest of the bunch. Others may consider him slow-witted, but Haru knows Hiroto is a tactile learner. The youth follows Kazuo-san religiously for any opportunity to ticker with some tool. His attire matches his demeanor, too. If Haru were to describe it, she'd say practical – a sleeveless black shirt, tan shorts, and sneakers.
And perhaps the one most eager to begin the game – if his bouncing in place is an indication – is Hiroshi. For various reasons, Haru can't look at the youth without thinking about Ryuji. They share too many similarities. Both are highly expressive and energetic, share a passion for sports, and even have brightly colored hair.
Hiroshi's is lighter, sandier, and arguably more fashionable, styled short with a finger comb top. He appears comfortable in his salmon-colored T-shirt, black sports pants, and beat-up black running sneakers.
Lastly, completing the close-knit circle is the quietest member Ren. Compared to the others, Ren is almost invisible. His presence is reminiscent of the color gray — reserved, detached, and subdued. A mirror image, Haru realizes, of herself before her awakening and the Phantom Thieves. Around Ren's friends, however, something rouses within the youngling. Small things — a smile, a sparkle in his eyes, or a snide remark that makes everyone flabbergasted. For these reasons, despite having spoken only a handful of times with the youth, Haru imagines she understands him best.
That is why Haru's poise is internally rattled when he approaches her with a question.
"H-Haru-san, where is Akio-san?"
"I…ah, what?"
"Yeah, Haru-nee," chimes Fumi. "Is Akio-san too busy to visit?"
All at once, the card game pauses, and the children's sole attention is on Haru. The scrutiny of their innocent stares is piercing and unrelenting.
Haru swallows and wills her lips into what she hopes is a convincing smile. "Akio-san is perfectly well. Ah, because of some bad things recently with my family, she has been working a lot as of late."
"Oh," says Fumi, lowering her head. "Well, I hope she comes by. She's never been this long without visiting us."
The children collectively nod.
"Hey," voices Akane, "let's not bother Haru-san too much about Akio-san. I'm sure she'll come by once, um, the bad things get better, right?"
Akane directs her question at Haru, looking at her hopefully.
Again, it takes a considerable amount of willpower to nod reassuringly.
"I'll tell Akio-san you are all waiting for her. I… I'm sure she'll be happy hearing that."
"Yah!" Hiroshi shouts. "I can't wait. Hey, Haru-san, when you see her, can you tell her she won't believe how good I've gotten at baseball? I can hit the ball every time Kazuo throws me the ball."
"Kazuo-san," Fumi automatically corrects. "And that's a lie. Aina-san says lying is wrong. You hit the ball half the time!"
The two then engage in heated debate while Hiroto approaches Haru next. "Can you tell Akio-san that I'm working hard to help Kazuo-san every day!"
"I – I," stammers Haru.
"Oh, can you tell Akio-san that I've gotten taller?" Akane asks.
All around her, the children babble excitedly – their voices intermingling like noise to Haru. She can feel her insides begin to freeze from their constant chatter, making it increasingly difficult to breathe.
Oh no, she thinks, not now.
Desperately, she digs her fingers into her thighs to offset the rising panic sure to scare the children.
Fortunately, a loud, comforting voice cuts through the noise and makes everything more manageable.
"Children, you are bombarding the poor girl," Aina-san says sternly. "All of you, clean up, then march to the kitchen for dinner."
The children follow Aina-san's instructions and begin filling out the room enthusiastically, one after another. However, one child lingers and sends Haru a hesitant glance – it is the ever-quiet Ren.
"What is it, Ren?" Aina-san asks.
"Um, well," Ren begins, glancing at Aina-san and then at Haru. "C-Can you tell Akio-san that I'm getting better at, um…talking to others and my shyness?"
"I –"
"Of course, she will," Aina-san inputs. "I'm sure Akio-san will be overjoyed at your progress. Now, go follow everyone else."
When it is finally Haru and Aina-san alone in the room, the older female says, "I'm sure things as of late have been very hard on you, Haru-chan."
Haru's chest tightens.
"With…the death of your father…."
Haru feels the pressure in her chest loosen.
"Well," Aina-san continues, "I am so glad that Akio-san is there with you. Now, will you be joining us for dinner?"
"No," Haru says. She smiles and finds it infinitely more manageable, though it does not reach her eyes. "I think I should go back now. Tomorrow is another school day, after all."
"Oh, of course," Aina-san says, exiting the room alongside Haru. "Well, take care of yourself, and do you mind carrying one more message?"
Haru turns right before reaching the door to the walkway. "Hm?"
"Well, when you see Akio-san, tell her not to work too hard. And that we miss her, but to not worry about us."
Haru rests her hand on the door handle as Aina-san's request slowly sinks into her mind.
"Ok," Haru says at last. She smiles, and a hesitant, hopeful light peeks out of the dullness in her eyes. "I will see her soon and tell her. Goodbye."