A/N: I have been inspired by a writing bug! And this is a whopping 24 pages as well! So please, enjoy this monster of a chapter!
I don't own Kodocha or any of its contents.
Chapter 15: Aftermath
Walking to school that morning had been somewhat refreshing as the cold, winter air pricked at his skin. Not wanting to run into his father, Akito had woken up and left earlier than both members of his family. Leaving a short note for his sister, he wondered down the path that was so familiar.
The morning commute hadn't completely started, so the streets were bustling with traffic yet. It allowed him to bask in the silence of the impeding winter air. The fall season was going to end early this year, it seemed like. Winter was approaching quickly, though, he didn't mind too much. He rather enjoyed winter and its frosty bite.
Most enjoyed the summer because of summer vacations, the beach trips, the summer activities. But he enjoyed the solace of the winter air. Maybe it was because he enjoyed being alone that he didn't mind the solidarity of winter.
The one thing he detested the most about the winter were the holidays.
Christmas was supposed to be some of the happiest holidays of the year. But, truth be told, he hated them.
He hated the festivities, the jolliness, the decorations, everything. It reminded him too much of his mother.
His mom loved the winter holiday's, always diving right into family traditions and assuring that her children were happy. She'd spoil them endlessly, showering his sister and himself in love; not so much the presents.
Even their father, who was never home, would sit around the tree and listen to their mother's ramblings, with a smile on his face.
It was probably the happiest time in the Hayama household.
For the last three years, Christmas was nonexistent. No longer was there a tree shining brightly in the corner of their living room, or lights strung up on the house. There was no more stencil and presents, no cinnamon in the air.
Tsuyoshi had invited him over to his place for the last three years to celebrate with his mom and sister. But, he always refused. Instead, Akito would sit in the darkness of his room and watch TV, or read his manga.
Ayame was always invited over by Akimoto, and with his permission, would leave the house and spend Christmas with his family.
It sounded depressing, he realized. Not spending the holidays with the people you love, sitting alone in your room watching TV or reading manga. But, when a person loses interest in most things around them, you don't feel the loneliness.
He scoffed, throwing his school bag over his shoulder.
Thinking about things like this was pointless. Nothing was going to change now. So, it was pointless hoping it would.
Akito entered school property earlier than even some teachers. Changing his shoes, and throwing his jacket in his school locker, he shut it closed and walked towards his homeroom class.
Yesterday's events still fresh in his mind, and he inwardly cringed.
Why did he agree to be friends with Kurata?
A scowl appeared, and he silently growled.
Why did he even open himself up to her? Why did he allow himself to be vulnerable to her? Why did he let her embrace him that way? Who did she think she was pushing herself into his life?
Truthfully, it was all he could think about before going to bed last night. He just couldn't wrap his mind around her; around that idiotic, naïve, blindly optimistic girl. They had established a silent agreement to stray away from one another, to live separate lives.
But slowly, she was everywhere.
It didn't matter if they themselves weren't friends, she was everywhere he was.
Kurata became quick friends with Tsuyoshi and Aya, rekindled her friendship with Buka, developed some type of friendship with Akimoto, and took his sister under her wing.
Looking at it more closely, she wasn't a horrible person. Loud, obnoxious, annoying, yes. But, she wasn't a bad person. He could see how her friendship has helped his sister, in a way. He could tell how much brighter his sister has become since becoming friends with her.
And as much as he hated to admit it, she pulled him away from a dark place.
He spent three days sinking.
Sinking so far in his own misery and self-pity that he didn't think there was any hope for him left. He even resorted to killing himself.
But, then there she was. With her stupid smile, and over obnoxious voice. Preaching at him, lecturing him, crying for him.
Seeing her tears made the world stop. In the little time he had known Kurata Sana, she was rambunctious, overbearing, loud, noisy, boisterous, and overall annoying. But there was always a smile on her face. And it always shone so brightly.
Whatever she was fighting with Buka, teasing Tsuyoshi and Aya, dramatically acting like one of the girls that chased Akimoto, or pushing his sister out of her shell, she never failed to have a smile on her face.
He just couldn't understand her.
How was someone always so chipper and jubilant? Wasn't it exhausting being happy all the time?
But seeing her cry for him, spill real tears, seeing an emotion outside of happiness, it shocked him. It made him realize Kurata wasn't just an overly blind optimistic idiot.
She was capable of soothing his darkness, even if she didn't understand his sullen thoughts and feelings.
And that he had to be grateful for.
Because, he could still be dwelling in that shack house out by the park. And who knows what idiocy he could have committed?
Maybe he did want to kill himself the last three days. Maybe he did feel like there wasn't anything left in his damn world for him. And maybe, he just wanted the pain and suffering to end.
But today, he felt like living a little longer.
And that was thanks for her. To Kurata Sana.
His eyes went wide, and his throat went dry at the realization. He clenched his fist tightly before reaching for the door to his homeroom class.
Sitting down in his desk, Hayama rummaged through his school bag quickly, opening up his notebook for his English class and began to write.
-O-
Her first thought when she saw him:
He's back.
Fuka wanted to see him for herself, even though she didn't have homeroom with the rest of her friends. But, her heart was beating rapidly when she saw him hunched over his desk, writing in a notebook, earphones plugged into his ears.
She felt like she had a frog in her throat as she watched him from the small window in the door. He looked so deep in thought, with whatever he was writing in the notebook of his.
Just finishing her early gymnastics routine, Fuka was on her way back from the girl's locker room when she had decided to peek her head and see if Hayama might have been in class already, even if it was a long shot.
But, he was there and Fuka felt clammed.
Which, was ridiculous! Because she never had an issue talking to Hayama before! He was just a stupid boy! A stupid boy that made her heart race incredibly fast and frustrated her to no end. A stupid boy who refused to open himself up to anyone.
A stupid boy she had longed to know.
The brunette shook her head, standing confident. What use was she going to be just standing outside this door? She worried so much about him! The least she could do was let him know! And maybe, just maybe he might respond with more than one word.
Fuka huffed, opening the door, and marching over to the blond-haired boy. Standing in front of him, he didn't even acknowledge her as he continued writing in that notebook of his. From what she could see, he was writing in English.
Strange…
But! It didn't matter! Back to the task at hand.
"Ahem." She coughed, but he still didn't look up.
What could he be so into that he didn't hear her?
"Hayama." She said again, with more force.
When he didn't budge, Fuka growled.
The gymnast reached for his shoulder and tapped him, causing the blond to finally look up at her. Albeit, his stare was rather fierce as she gulped slightly. Whatever he was working on, or doing, she broke his concentration and he wasn't very happy about it.
But Fuka noticed something odd.
His eyes.
His dark, broody eyes that were always so guarded and angry seemed… softer?
Was that the word to use? No. Not softer. But, less guarded. The ice he sculpted so proudly around him almost seemed like it was melting.
When he realized who it was, he dropped the harsh pierce and sighed, looking down.
That… wasn't the reaction she thought she would get.
They stood in silence for a moment, and Fuka didn't know how to react to this sudden change. She wasn't even sure what that was.
She was prepared to be told to "leave me alone," or "go away," or "buzz off."
But instead, he just stayed silent.
What the hell?
"What… happened to you?" Fuka said, cautiously, casting aside her love for him, and letting concern take her place.
Hayama was silent for a moment, before sighing and closing his notebook. "I was sick."
"Yeah, I got that. But, you could have at least texted us and said something."
He turned his attention towards her, narrowing his eyes slightly at her persistence. This gave Fuka some relief. This was closer to the type of attitude Hayama had. This resembled his personality more than what he had exhibited earlier.
"I don't have to update you on my everyday life." He replied, more forceful than before. This caused Fuka to cross her hands out in front of her.
She wished he would be just a bit more open with her. The brunette understand that he didn't have to tell her. But dammit! She just wished he would be more communicative with her!
"You were gone for three days. You didn't even bother telling any of us that you were sick. We we're all concerned for you and thought something awful may have happened! The least you could do is send us a message or at least respond!" The gymnast was angry now, infuriated even.
What was his problem!? She just wanted to make sure he was okay.
Akito's face contoured and a piercing glare crossed his brows. "What do you want from me, Fuka? I was sick! I didn't even feel like getting up to get water! What makes you think I was going to get up and send a text message? Between a fuckin bloody headache and the need to throw up, I didn't really have fuckin time to text! I appreciate the concern, but it really isn't necessary. So, stop pestering me!"
Hurt flashed across her eyes as she gnawed on her lip. This was the Hayama that she had known. The one she was first met with, the one with the melting ice walls, she didn't recognize him. She refused to let him push her away. Fuka was tired of caring so much about him and him not bothering to appreciate it.
"I just want you to talk to me! How hard is that?"
He sighed roughly, looking away from her. Her heart ached at his actions.
"Why do you care so much?"
Fuka felt her heart drop to her stomach as his gaze pierced right through her. She couldn't bother to look away as his eyes kept them dead locked. She could feel the heat creep to her cheeks. Her heart began to beat rapidly and there was a sudden frog in her throat that prevented her from breathing properly.
"Your- You're my friend, you idiot! Friends care for one another!"
Hayama broke the stare and looked away, shaking his head. The tension was thick and Fuka felt like she was suffocating. Was he going to say something? Was he going to just leave it as it was? What the hell was his problem all of a sudden?
"GOOD MORNING!"
Fuka was going to kill her.
Annoyance spread throughout her face as her best friend barged into the room, a grin the size of Japan on her face. Why now? Why did she have to interrupt now? Why couldn't Sana just stay out of her life for 5 minutes!?
The brunet inwardly gasped.
Guilt crept into her heart as she watched the auburn-haired teen race towards them. Hayama was now turned away, grumbling something below his breath and Sana taking her seat right in front of him.
"Why do you look so annoyed?" Fuka sighed, throwing a glare at her. This caused Sana to raise a brow, and Hayama to stay silent.
"It's none of your business now, is it?"
This time, it was her best friend's time to glare. "Sheesh, no need to be so rude."
With a frustrated sigh, Fuka pushed herself off the desk and began marching towards the door of homeroom, other students filling in the room.
She saw Tsuyoshi and Aya walk in, the glass eyed boy smile broking into a grin the moment his eyes laid on Hayama.
"I'm not in the mood for this right now. I'm going to my homeroom." And with that, Fuka was off, giving a brief smile to both Tsuyoshi and Aya.
The brunette could feel Sana's eyes on her, watching her until she reached the door. Knowing she would see her soon in their math class, Fuka decided to lament to herself in homeroom, getting over the fact that she barked at Sana for no reason.
Before she slipped out the classroom, out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sana talking to Hayama. Akito seemed to be engaging in a conversation with her as Sana's brows furrowed.
Her heart felt like it was being squeezed.
Closing the door behind her, Fuka stalked her way down the hall, trying to forget the idea of Akito and Sana.
-O-
After the start of homeroom, their sensei had assigned them to some individual work as he sat at the front of the class, grading their previous assignments. There was some chatter throughout the class, mostly on the assignment. But, Sana sat in silence, her hand at work on the assignment, but her mind elsewhere.
Fuka had been rather… rude this morning. She could see the annoyance on her face, and figured that her and Hayama had been fighting.
But, when the brunette had outright attacked her, it surprised her.
Sana had done nothing to warrant that type of treatment by Fuka. And while she was tolerant of Fuka and her mood swings, and her demeaning personality at times, she still didn't appreciate the condescending tone.
She couldn't really get a word with Hayama as he was bombarded by Tsuyoshi, asking him questions like crazy. Tsuyoshi was overly worried about the blond Hayama and even cried knowing that he was okay and back in school. He even thanked her before he walked back to his seat.
Hayama did seem a bit different today.
If anything, he seemed more… receptive to Tsuyoshi's worries and concern's. Even though he was still reluctant, he didn't seem to shoot down his best friend's worry.
"Psst, Hayama!" Sana whispered. The blond-haired boy rolled his eyes and looked over at her.
"What?"
"What happened with Fuka this morning?" She asked a little louder, noticing the chatter increasing. That meant their conversation was safe, no one would really be listening in.
Hayama sighed and put his pencil down. "Nothing."
She glared. Honestly. What did she expect from him? Just because he agreed to be her friend, it didn't mean he would start opening up to him right away.
"Oh come on. She snapped at me for no reason! Granted, she does that a lot. But! This time I did nothing!" Sana just wanted to get to the bottom of it. Fuka looked really annoyed this morning, and if there was something she could do to make it better, she would try.
He stayed silent, not saying anything for a moment.
"She's upset because I'm being who I've always been."
"Dark, broody, reclusive, and detached?" He threw her another sharp glare, and she simply shrugged her shoulders, a smug smile on her lips.
"You're really testing my patience."
"As friends, that's kind of my job." She winked and he groaned.
"As friends, I would like if you didn't annoy me on the daily."
"Too bad we don't always get what we want." This time, she stuck her tongue out at him, and went back to doing her assignment.
Sana watched from the corner of her eye as Hayama shook his head and went back to the assignment he most likely finished already. That blond boy was sure smart, she had noticed. He was quiet, and reserved, but he was intelligent.
A thought crossed her mind.
"Oi! Hayama!"
The blond turned towards her again, clearly annoyed.
"What now?"
"When are we going to get together again to work on our assignment?"
She could see him stiffen and she narrowed her eyes. The idiot forgot, didn't he?
"How about never?" He muttered to himself, but Sana had heard him loud and clear.
"How about after school, hmm?" She was now smiling at him, and he shook his head.
"I always thought Fuka was more annoying. But, I'm beginning to think it's you now. You just don't stop, do you?"
She beamed proudly at him, and he scoffed, rolling his eyes once more.
"We're friends now so it doesn't matter how much I annoy ya!"
"I'm really going to regret this friend thing."
The chime of the homeroom bell rang and Sana grabbed her bag, tossing it over her shoulder.
"I'm going to go find Fuka and see what's up her butt. I know I'll see ya at some point, but don't forget to meet me after school, kay? I know where you live now so it'll be easy to hunt ya down! Bye!"
She raced off and Akito sat dumbfounded.
What in the world just happened?
"She's always running off somewhere, isn't she?"
The oldest Hayama sibling shifted his gaze towards Tsuyoshi, who was smiling down at him.
"I would rather she ran away from me, forever." Tsuyoshi chuckled, fixing his glasses.
"You don't mean that." Sharp eyes and a pointed look, and Tsuyoshi retreated in his bravado.
"This is your fault." The brunet boy blinked, confusion crossing his eyes. Hayama stood from his seat, walking towards the door with his bag draped over his back.
"What's my fault?"
Annoyance filled him, remembering that Tsuyoshi wasn't aware of what transpired between him the auburn-haired teen. That night would be taken to the grave with each other them. It was something that no one other than them two would be aware of.
"Nothing." Was his reply, and he knew that Tsuyoshi was probably very confused by his sudden behavior.
Hell! Even he was confused about his own behavior.
"Hey Akito?"
Called boy looked back and saw Tsuyoshi staring at him with semi confident eyes, gulping. Whatever Tsuyoshi was going to bring up, it was probably going to piss him off.
"What happened with your dad?"
Yup, it was going to piss him off.
He narrowed his eyes, his chest feeling heavy. That seeping anger he had pushed down came rushing back. Akito was doing everything in his power the last few days to forget about his good for nothing father. Just knowing that bastard was in his house pissed him off.
If it wasn't for Ayame, he wouldn't go back period.
Tsuyoshi flinched in step, his fury known to the glass eyed boy.
Akito didn't bother giving the boy an answer as he turned on his heel and stomped his way to his next class.
"Akito! Wait!" Tsuyoshi caught up to him and grabbed his arm.
Halting in his step, the blond stopped as Tsuyoshi grabbed him by the arm.
"You disappeared for three days. No one knew where you were. You can't tell me that everything is fine." He said, and Akito went wide eyed.
Tsuyoshi was getting confident now, standing his ground against him. While Tsuyoshi was the person he was closest with, it didn't mean Akito told him everything. He knew more than most people.
So, for him to go and demand information? Who did he think he was?
"And yet, you sent Kurata after me instead of coming yourself? Even though you knew where I was?" He pulled his arm away from him, the glare still heavy on his brows.
"I wouldn't have been able to bring you back and you know it." He whispered, the hurt evident in his voice. His eyes crestfallen and his shoulders slumped.
Hayama knew. If Tsuyoshi had tried to drag him out, he wouldn't have followed.
"I'm fine."
And that was the last thing he said to him for the rest of the day.
Because he was fine. He was.
If he told himself he was fine, sooner or later, it would become the truth.
"If you keep frowning like that, you're going to get wrinkles."
A cold can was placed on her cheek and she nearly jumped out of her seat. She quickly turned her head towards the owner of the voice, and there stood Akimoto Hiro in all his glory. His dazzling smile and sparkling green eyes that wooed all the girls were ineffective towards her. But, Sana would admit they were nice to look at.
"Jerk." She huffed, going back to her lunch.
"Where's all your friends?" He asked, noticing the emptiness of the table around her.
"Everyone's being broody." Sighing, Sana's eyes scanned the cafeteria. "Fuka is ignoring not just me, but everyone else too while Aya is comforting a sulking Tsuyoshi, who I think had a fight with Hayama this morning."
He hummed to himself as he took a seat beside her, ignoring the jealous scowls that were thrown their way. "Sounds rough."
Sana rolled her eyes, munching on the fish stick. Was it shit on Sana day or something? Everyone was being ridiculous today, especially to her! She didn't even do anything to half these people and they were all giving her the biggest cold shoulder!
"I hope no one actually shit on you. That'd be gross."
She blinked, and found Hiro laughing as he took a bite of his jello.
"Oh crap. Was I talking out loud again?" He smirked and she sheepishly smiled. "I really need to stop doing that." Hiro chuckled, and took another bite of his jello.
"I dunno. I think it's kind of cute."
Sana felt her face go hot and she looked away quickly, coughing. Stupid Hiro and his stupid flirtation techniques. What did he think it was going to accomplish anyway?
"Careful there. You might get the fangirls jealous." She threatened, but he merely shrugged his shoulders.
"Like I care." He stretched, Sana hearing the popping in his shoulders. "You're the only one who matters. Outside of Ayame of course."
The slight pink hue grew and she felt her neck get even hotter. She looked at him with an incredulous gaze, not believing how bold he was growing.
That jerk was now smiling at her with a smug grin on his lips, biting down on his apple. She could see the twinkle in his eye, and she had every urge to wipe that damn smirk off his lips.
"You think you're smooth, don't ya?" Crossing her arms, she refused to look him in the eye.
He began to laugh. "Ara, ara I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you." His hand touched her shoulder and she glared fiercely at him.
"Whoa! Put the claws away! I'm just kidding."
Hiro put his hands up in defense, sweating slightly. "You know I just like to tease. We're friends after all."
A smirk appeared on her lips, and the prince of Jinbou looked at her with confusion.
"Why of course."
Grumbling to himself, he moved away from her. "No fair. That's cheating."
She stuck her tongue out at him, and he smiled hopelessly.
Kurata Sana was going to be the end of him.
"I hope I'm not interrupting?"
Both Sana and Hiro looked away from one another to see Ayame standing on the other side of the table, Kyo coming behind her in tow.
"Ayame! Wait up!" Kyo was huffing behind the youngest Hayama, Ayame giving him a short apology.
Sana smiled, gesturing for the two to sit. "No! Not at all! I was just giving Hiro here a lesson here!"
"What did you do this time, Hiro-kun?" She laughed, and the oldest in the group grumbled.
"Hey Kurata-san! Long time no see!" Kyo greeted and said girl waved.
They broke out into conversation, Hiro, Ayame, and Kyo, talking about something that they watched on TV. But, Sana just watched.
The youngest of the Hayama siblings seemed better, not looking so tired.
Poor girl, Sana thought to herself.
Her life hadn't been easy, especially now that she knew her mother had passed on. And the brother she had didn't make it any easier. Apparently, the father was an issue as well. It made her head spin, thinking about the mess that was the Hayama family.
Who knew what trauma this girl had been through and she didn't even have her family to support her in it all.
Seeing her happy and laughing with them made Sana's heart warm. She could imagine the exhaustion this poor girl had gone through, the hurt she had endured. Such a gentle girl just caught in the chaos that was life.
"Sana-chan?"
At the call of her name, Sana broke out her thoughts and found all three of her friends staring at her.
"Huh?"
They all laughed, and Hiro flicked her in the middle of her forehead. "Ya know it's rude to ignore a conversation that you are a part of?"
"Owwie…" she cried slightly, glaring at Hiro, rubbing at her forehead.
"I asked if you were ready for exams coming up?"
Immediately, a groan escaped her lips as her forehead fell on the edge of the forehead. "Is that coming up already?"
"Don't tell me…" Hiro began, a brow arched.
"I'm going to fail!" She cried out, thinking about her impending doom.
"She's not the smartest in the bunch, is she?" Kyo said, noticing her wailing.
"Sana-chan has many great qualities. Unfortunately, academics is not one of them." Ayame explained as Hiro comforted the third year.
"Don't worry, Sana. We'll get you to your fourth year. You have all of us to help you out."
Sana looked up at them with relief in her eyes as she cried fake (but also real?) tears and shook her head vigorously.
"You guys are such great friends!"
The day passed rather slowly, and Sana wished nothing for it to end already. Despite her command for Hayama to wait for her after school, in their English class, he told her he had things to do and didn't have time to work on their 'stupid project.'
"You ready to meet up today!?" Sana hooked her arm around his neck, and she heard him growl, peeling her arm away from him.
"I don't have time for you, today. I have things I need to do and it doesn't include you and your pestering."
Ouch. That stung. Sana frowned, tapping her foot.
"Your attitude really sucks, you know? Do you treat all your friends like this?"
"Just the ones who don't leave me alone." He started, and then stopped right before putting his headphone back on. "I said we could be friends. But, that doesn't mean that I'm going to spill my whole life story to you. Haven't you ever heard of giving a person space?"
Why did Sana feel like she was having a serious case of deja-vu right now? This sounded so similar to the upbringing of hers and Fuka's friendship. The brunette also pushed her away, yelling at her to give her her own space.
No wonder those two always butted heads. They were almost exactly alike!
"Alright, alright. So, I may have gone a bit overboard! Can you blame me for getting excited?"
He sighed, and worked on his assignment, ignoring her for the remainder of the class period. "Another time, Kurata. I don't have the patience for you right now."
She wished he could have been a bit nicer about it, but she supposed she was being a bit pushy. It wasn't her fault! Hayama Akito intrigued her. She wanted to know who he was. But, pushing him and demanding answers wasn't the way to go. If anything, it would drive him further away.
So, Sana resorted to being less pushy and allowing him the time to grow comfortable around her. Because, she could be rather eccentric, and overbearing at times.
Now, she was on a mission to find out what was wrong with a certain brunette. Fuka had made sure to avoid the entire gang today, hanging out with her gymnast friends all day. Sana wasn't going to lie and pretend it didn't hurt, because it did.
She didn't do anything to warrant this treatment, so why was she getting the cold shoulder? That pretentious and Hollier-than-thou attitude Fuka sported really sucked. Sana had accomplished on grounding her multiple times, but whenever the brunette was in a mood, she made sure the claws were out.
Sitting in the middle of gym, Sana watched as Fuka went through her routine, noticing the small and subtle things that she may have faltered on.
But, this was Fuka.
She didn't make any mistakes.
Not any her mother would allow anyway.
Luckily for Sana, Fuka's mother very much enjoyed her presence and encouraged their friendship. She couldn't say the same for other friends that Fuka made. But, Sana was always welcomed in the Matsui household. Far from perfect, Fuka's mother seemed to ignore that oversight and allowed the two girls to continue being friends.
Sana liked Mrs. Matsui, she did.
But, that woman was a slave driver.
She pushed Fuka to limits that really strained her well-being; both physically and mentally. Sana wished nothing more than to intervene and tell her mother to buzz off. But, Fuka always stopped her. The auburn-haired teen now understood why the brunette had the personality she did, and why she always expected so much from everyone around her.
When their gymnastics sensei signaled that club activities were done for the day, Sana jumped off the bench she was sitting on and raced towards Fuka, who was walking towards the locker room.
"Fuka! Hey!"
The brown eyed girl looked at her in surprise.
"Sana? What are you doing here?"
She smiled. "Gotta a second to talk?"
Fuka bit down on her lip, and her eyes went towards her gymnast friends. Some waved at Sana, greeting her. Others asked when she would be joining the club. Of course, she refused, knowing this was Fuka's territory.
"I- uh…" She looked around again, but sighed, hanging her head. "Yeah, follow me."
Sana followed as Fuka took her to another room, where the dancers would train and practice. She had only been here a few times, but each time she saw how good some of their students were.
"What's up?" Fuka asked, sitting down on one of the rolled-up mats.
"Did I piss you off or something?" There was no point in having small talk, so she went straight to the point. Fuka was obviously caught off guard as Sana came out with it.
But, then her face fell and she looked away, a grim looking line forming on her lips.
"I know that I'm an idiot sometimes, and I do deserve the cold shoulder. But, I didn't exactly do anything to warrant that type of treatment today?"
Fuka gulped, knowing that this conversation was coming.
She had been waiting for Sana to find her all day, corner her, and demand her why she had such an outburst this morning. Instead, she had backed off today and given Fuka the time to figure things out.
What was she supposed to tell her, anyway?
"Yeah, Sana. The reason I was so ticked at you was because you barged in on a conversation between me and Akito. Also, you were right when saying that I was in love with him. And now, I don't really like seeing the two of you together."
Fuka couldn't tell her that!
Sana was right. She didn't really do anything directly. And it wasn't her fault that she barged in like that. She didn't know what was going on between them so it wasn't like she purposely sabotaged their conversation.
Some best friend she was.
"Akito just really irritated me. And, you barging in like that didn't help. Sorry for being a jerk." She hoped that apology would be enough the get Sana off her back.
Fuka heard a sigh, and Sana scratched at her head. "Still upset over him not texting you, huh?"
The brunette was not a fan of that tone. It almost sounded like Sana was mocking her. Which, she knew she wasn't.
"He just has no regard for anyone, but himself! He doesn't care about other people's feelings and doesn't bother to let anyone into his life!" She finally exploded, and Sana merely shook her head to her outburst. "Doesn't he ever get lonely?"
"Sounds awfully familiar, doesn't it?" Fuka went wide eyed at Sana's statement, looking at her with confused eyes. "We can't force him to let us in. The best thing you can do is just continue being his friend, and support him in his time of need."
A pointed look from Fuka and she frowned. "Easier said than done! How are we supposed to know if he doesn't tell us!"
Fuka was being rather irrational, Sana thought. This wasn't what her best friend was usually like. In the past, this would-be role reversed and she would be the one emotional about this.
But in this case, it was Fuka who wasn't seeing straight.
Maybe it was because Sana had already seen Hayama's cry for help? Maybe it was because she had seen the blonde in a state of despair that she was able to say these things?
"I think you'll just know."
One, two, three blinks and Fuka's shoulders fell. "What makes you so sure?"
"You and Hayama are real alike, you know? Everyone tells us that you and I are like twins, but you and Hayama have the same type of personality. You're both hard to know, and try to put on this tough exterior. But, at the end of the day, you just want someone to ask you if you're okay."
When the hell did Sana become like this?
Fuka watched the smile form on her best friend's lips, and she was in total shock. When did Sana become so perceptive, so akin to others emotions and feelings? Fuka was in total shock at her explanation that she didn't even have the words to reply.
"You know, I was being overly clingy to him too. And forcing him to try and talk to me. But, that's not going to work with him. We have to give him the space he needs so he will finally feel comfortable to talk to us."
We? Us?
"And how do you know all this?" She asked, and Sana smiled once again.
"I asked him. We're friends now."
Fuka felt her heart break.
What the hell?
When did that happen?
"You two are… friends?" Fuka had to ask again for clarification and Sana nodded, that grin on her face spreading.
"Yeah! Took long enough, but we finally agreed to be friends!"
Fuka felt like she had an enormous frog in her throat as her stomach churned. Her breathing felt raspy as the image and thought of Sana and Akito being friends crossed her mind.
Why was she acting like this? What was so wrong with them being friends? Why was her heart hurting so much?
Because deep down you hate Sana. You hate her for her ability to just be friends with anyone. You hate that she can connect so deeply with others. You hate that she can get Akito to open up to her and you can't.
Fuka gasped, her dark thoughts creeping forward.
What was that? What did she just think?
How could she be so horrible to someone who has only ever been there for her?
"Fuka?"
Sana waved a hand in front of her, concern in her eyes. The brunette gulped, and tried to hide away her dark realization.
She smiled.
"Thanks Sana, for the advice. But, I just remembered I have to get something done for my mom. So, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Uh, okay?"
But before she could bother to run and hide in the locker room, a hand gripped around her wrist, and immediately recognized it as Sana's.
"Fuka? Are you sure you're okay?"
She learned lots of things from Sana.
But hiding away her feelings was not one.
That was one she perfected on her own.
"Yes. I'm fine."
With that, she walked off, leaving Sana standing in the middle of the dance room.
The last few days have been so odd, Sana thought. Everyone seemed to be so awkward around one another.
Tsuyoshi was still sulking around Hayama, Aya trying her best to comfort him.
Fuka had been very quiet around her, around both her and the blond-haired teen.
Even Hiro seemed to be on edge. But, that she knew he had a good reason for. With his university prep exam coming up, Sana understood his anxiety well. It was the same anxiety she got every time a math exam was due.
On the bright side, it looked like Ayame finally got some rest. She didn't look so much like the walking dead, and life returned to her. Her pretty features that stood out in contrast to everyone else were bright once more.
Sana was currently sitting in her English class, waiting for the final bell chime to indicate that classes were over for the day.
Behind her sat the current occupant of her mind.
Hayama Akito.
He had requested, well demanded really, that she back off, give him space and time to adjust to their new-found friendship. So, Sana indulged him and strayed away, still greeting him every morning and in their classes.
But, they really needed to get their project done so she decided to suggest inviting him over again.
She did wonder to herself if now that they were friends, if this changed the half way deal they promised one another not too long ago.
"Hey Hayama?"
She heard a grunt, and took that as a response.
"Let's meet up after school!"
His golden eyes traveled up to meet hers. Still stoic, and apathetic, not much has changed. But, at least he was responding to her. That was promising.
"Do I really have a choice?"
Sana frowned. "Of course you do, silly!" She laughed, tapping his head.
That may have not been the best course of action, but watching him get flustered and still over human contact was humorous to her. He looked like he was ready to pull her apart.
"Don't you know that peer relationships are an integral part of adolescent development? We feed off of peer acceptance and shape a lot of our personality around those we spend time with!"
Or something like that. She had read quite a few psychology text books when she was younger. Why? Because her mother always use to quote them around her.
Hayama didn't look interested as he slapped her hand away.
"If you continued reading more than the introduction paragraph, you'd also realize that some adolescents prefer to be social outcast and want nothing to do with their peers." Was his snarky reply and Sana narrowed her eyes.
"Now, that just sounds depressing."
Hayama rolled his eyes. "You can't force inclusion. Some people want nothing to do with the blundering idiots in their schools."
"Buuuuuut! Having friends is so much better than sulking in a corner all day! You learn lots from the people around you! And, each person in your life teaches you valuable lessons, you know."
That final bell chimed, and Hayama scoffed as he stood from his seat. "That's your opinion. But, that doesn't mean everyone shares the same thought as you. Isn't it unfair to assume that on everyone?"
He… made a good point, Sana thought.
Actually, he made several good points.
You can't force inclusion. If people want to stray away from others and be left alone, one should respect that choice. There are such things as introverts in life.
But to Sana, that just seemed so lonely.
They walked down the hallway together, eyes looking at the pair. Low whispers and hard stares were sent their way. But, the duo couldn't have been more oblivious to it.
Kurata Sana was already well known around school for her boisterous and jubilant personality, and the friendships she shared. People liked her. They liked being around her, always radiating with her glowing smile and her outgoing personality.
Hayama Akito was the sheer opposite, scaring everyone away with his frightening, cold eyes. Students walked the other way when he was around, or simply evaded him. Not that it was a problem with him, but people tended to steer clear of him.
So, seeing two personalities that couldn't be more different really surprised the student population at Jinbou High School.
"That just feels so lonely."
Hayama shrugged, reaching his locker, changing out his shoes. Sana leaned against the wall, sighing sadly.
"Some people prefer it that way."
"Do you?"
Hayama froze at her question, his sharp eyes looking at her in apprehension. She was staring him down with those big, doe eyes of her, helplessly waiting for his answer.
"I don't like it when noisy girls annoy me." He slammed the locker shut, and began to walk away, irritated by her sudden intimate questions. The blond could hear a groan, opening of a locker, and a quick slam, followed by some footsteps.
"That was uncalled for, ya know!" She caught up to him, and made a small tch noise.
"But it's the truth."
Sana laughed, appreciating his honesty. It was hard to come by people who were honest and direct like Hayama Akito. For Sana, she appreciated this type of forwardness more than beating around the bush. Yeah, it might hurt like hell, but at least it wasn't a lie.
There was nothing served better than the honest truth.
She patted his back, and he stilled once more.
"Ho ho ho! You have no filter, do you?" Hayama glared as a response and moved away from her.
"Obviously you don't either."
"Eh, I can't argue there."
Unbeknownst to them, different set of eyes followed them out of the school gates.
One was watching as they stuffed cram books in his backpack, preparing to meet with his study group for their university prep exam. The other smiled slightly, though his heart was heavy, that his best friend was making the right friends in the right places. Another, envious, but happy that her brother was opening himself just a bit.
And finally, the last with jealousy crawling through her skin, almost seething at the pair. Her guilt settled in, it eating away at her. But, her fury was blinding her guilt almost completely.
Sana and Akito continued walking down the same path, with Hayama trying to leave the auburn-haired teens side constantly.
It was mostly Sana talking, talking about her memories, her life in Nagoya and Osaka before moving to Tokyo.
"My God, woman. Do you ever shut up?" Hayama finally broke his silence and Sana just stared at him. "I can't think because your voice is all the I hear!"
"You know, that would almost be romantic if you hadn't said it so rudely." But that just enforced the deadly glare that Hayama was already throwing her way.
It wasn't her fault that the blond was a lousy conversationalist.
But, what did she expect from someone who hardly even acknowledged the people around her?
"Are you done following me home? Can I return in peace now?"
And he was wearing quite the annoyed frown, as his school bag was still draped over his shoulder. Sana put a finger to her chin, and then smiled.
"One question! And THEN, I will leave you alone! For today at least. Hehe."
Sana watched as his facial expression changed between annoyed, slightly confused, irritated, to acceptance. He ran his free hand through his rather messy, but long hair (Sana never noticed how long his hair actually was!).
Sighing roughly, she could see the acceptance in his eyes.
"What is your stupid question?"
"Do you have a favorite food?"
He stared at her incredulously for a moment, before blinking. Sana was sure that if he could hit her across the head with his bag without it being frowned up, he would.
"Do I have a favorite food? That's your question?" He repeated, and she nodded with a grin.
"Oh come on! It's a harmless question!" She nudged him, he slapped her elbow away. "You're not going to die from answering it!"
He took a moment, and that was when Sana really took Akito in.
Compared to last week, the blond looked like he was faring off a lot better. His cheeks weren't so hollow, and the bags around his eyes didn't seem as dark. It seemed like the oldest Hayama was sleeping more, even if his distasteful attitude said otherwise.
It didn't look like he wanted to die anymore.
Her throat went dry immediately, recalling the memory from just a few days ago. Seeing someone who was supposedly incapable of feeling break down and request to be killed had shaken her.
Shaken her to the point where she couldn't sleep.
It was bringing about memories that she wished hadn't resurfaced; memories that made tears prick at her rims.
No.
She was stronger than that. That's what she told herself the last few nights.
Sana needed to be stronger than that. If she wanted to make a difference in Hayama's life, and help him find his happiness again, she would have to push down and swallow those intangible and dark thoughts.
Making sure Hayama Akito didn't want to die anymore was her new mission.
"Sushi."
His voice brought her back, and Sana cocked her head to the side. "Su..shi? You like sushi the most?"
Hayama's piercing glare looked almost offended and his nose scrunched in this adorable little way that Sana decided to keep to herself. Because, Hayama seemed to be sensitive to compliments.
Tch, big baby.
"Yeah? Is that a problem?"
Sana wanted to laugh. Yes, she wanted to laugh so badly. But, she knew the moment she reacted in ways that he wasn't use too, he would pull away. So, the hazel eyed teen bit back the laughter and grinned in place.
"Didn't peg ya for a sushi lover. But, alright cool!"
Hayama's guarded eyes watched her for a moment, but he tore his gaze away and shook his head. Sana could hear him mutter something like "Mad woman." Frankly, she didn't really care.
"Alright! I'll keep my end of the bargain up! I'll give you your 'personal space.'" And she mimicked the blonde down to the facial expression, winking right after.
Again, he didn't seem amused with her antics.
Snorting, Hayama turned away.
"See you at school tomorrow!"
Not that she really expected a heartfelt reply, but Sana felt like a goodbye would have been sufficient.
But the smile that reached her face was anything but disappointed in the progress of the relationship/friendship.
One day Hayama Akito. One day I will make you smile. I promise you that.
Misako sat in her chair, sipping at the tea in her hand. It was a quiet night in the Kurata household as she watched her daughter and Shimura engage in a game of Japanese bingo. The oldest Kurata was reading out the cards in her hands as Sana and Mrs. Shimura played.
She could feel her chipmunk, Maro, squirming above in his house that laid on her head. She smiled to herself, enjoying the calmness of her life with her family.
Their life had been relatively tamed since their arrival to Tokyo. Not much outside of her daughter's animated and exuberant life in high school occurred. She had been traveling quite a bit for her most recent book. Travel did make life quite lonely, especially because her daughter gave her so much life.
So, the author relished in the time she got to spend with her small family.
"Hey Mama! What's the next one!"
Her daughter did have such a bright smile. Misako never wanted to see it disappear.
Except, she has seen it disappear. She has seen her daughter's smile vanish for long periods of time. And there were times Misako didn't think she'd ever get it back.
Yes, Sana definitely had her moments in her short life. But, her daughter had always managed to come out on top.
But, she felt uneasy.
Uneasy because she knew there was a point where the calmness in their household would turn to total chaos.
What was that American saying?
The calm before the storm?
Yes, that's what it was at this moment.
"Tell me, Sana," Misako started, putting her cup down on the table in front of her, "How have you been feeling lately?"
Her daughter shifted her gaze in confusion and stared at her with confusion.
"Huh? How have I been feeling?" She crossed her arms, sitting cross legged. Her brows knitted together and she looked like she was giving this a lot of thought.
Misako nodded. "Yes. Have you been experiencing any weakness in your body? Or maybe sudden fatigue?"
Sana put a finger to her chin, giving it sincere thought. She began shaking her head.
"Not that I can think of… why?"
If her daughter was not feeling ill, Misako knew there was no reason to frighten her.
"There's a virus going around and I just wanted to make sure that you were feeling well." She smiled, sipping on the tea in her cup. Her daughter smiled at the comment and gave her a thumbs up.
"Oh! Yeah! Nothing like that, mama! You don't have to worry about me! I'm totally fine!"
"That's good to hear, daughter."
Misako watched as her only daughter continued playing bingo with Mrs. Shimura, her smile radiating. She had always been so positive, so happy despite the sadness she had endured. But, Sana never failed to wear a smile. Even if it was fake.
Her daughter was truly a warrior with all the she has undergone.
She excused herself from the living room and stepped into the kitchen.
The author pulled a notebook from her kimono and began to jot down some notes.
It has been almost a month since our move from Osaka. Sana has been adjusting to her new life very well. She doesn't seem to be experiencing any depressive symptoms, and is enjoying the life she is building around herself.
Her health remains intact and doesn't seem to be experiencing fatigue or any sorts.
I can only hope it remains like this.
A/N: Ho ho ho, things are heating up for our favorite characters. One could only wonder what is to come next, hmm? I'm determined more than ever to finish this story, so I hope those who have stuck around this long are as well! Some really great stuff is coming up!
I hope to get the next update out soon! Reviews and all that are always appreciated!
Until next time!
-Dark Waffle