A/N: Welcome back to the latest installment! Sorry for the delay! I hope you guys all enjoy!
Chapter 21: Early Snow
The first snowfall of the year came earlier than expected.
It was just past the middle of October when the first signs of winter started showing. It was an odd weather occurrence and the city was not prepared.
While not a substantial amount of snow fell from the sky, the city decided to close certain areas down for maintenance.
Feet thrummed against the floor as labored breathing was constricted with the icy chill in the air. Cheeks rosy red and hair flaring in the wind. Bed hair whipped with the wind following her sprint.
She cursed to herself.
Damn this cold weather for making her bed so warm and comfortable.
Now she was running late to school because she overslept.
"I'm going to be so late!" Kurata Sana cried at nothing particular as she sprinted her way to Jinbou High School.
She hadn't even bothered doing her hair completely, tossing it out back and wrapping a scarf around her neck. She threw her coat on after messily throwing on her uniform.
Her mother called out to her, reminding her to be careful while she was running.
Sana had to admit. There were a few times during her sprint to Jinbou High School that she almost fell.
Damn it, she continuously thought to herself.
When she arrived at school, she kicked her shoes off and changed her shoes. She continued running down the hall, fully aware that class has started. A blush rose to her cheeks, a groan following as she realized how embarrassing this was going to be.
She knocked, then opened the door. Her sensei went quiet and all eyes were on her. Her ears turned bright pink with a blush of embarrassment coating her cheeks. Her eyes quickly found Tsuyoshi then Aya, who both gave her encouraging smiles.
"Ah, Ms. Kurata." Her sensei began, giving her a light smile. "What a pleasure for you to join us."
Chuckles throughout the classroom, and Sana rubbed the back of her head with a chuckle of her own.
"The bed was just so nice and warm this morning, ya know Sensei!"
He replied with a gentle smile, something she appreciated whole heartedly. Bless her sensei's soul. He was kind and understanding, often letting her and her friends slide away with things they probably should be in trouble for.
He gestured for her to take her seat, and Sana sat down, taking a deep breath. Her heart was beating soundly against her chest as she took out her notebook and began scribbling notes.
It wasn't until she started stretching her shoulders that she realized Hayama Akito was sitting next to her.
Oh.
He was hunched over his desk, scribbling away at his notebook. She couldn't get a really good look at him. But him being here could only meant things went well after she left last night.
Her stomach tightened as she recalled the night before. She couldn't get Ayame's sorrowful confession to leave her mind last night. All she thought about was how much misery the poor girl was in. Sana wished she could have done more.
Looking over at Hayama again, she felt sad.
There was a lot he didn't say that he clearly felt. There was so much left unsaid between him and his sister. Despite his change of demeanor with her, she could see his discomfort in his body language.
"Stop staring."
Sana blinked, not realizing that she hadn't taken her eyes off of him.
Her cheeks grew hot and she looked away quickly. "I wasn't staring."
He scoffed at her, not bothering to look her way.
There was something different in the way he replied to her, though. His scoff was usually followed by a snide remark that was meant to insult her.
Instead, his scoff was soft and hardly menacing as it always was.
She smiled at the change of his demeanor.
"Maybe there is hope for you yet, lone wolf." She muttered under her breath, grinning at this new development.
Later in class, after the bell dismissal, Hayama packed his bag rather quickly and was hastily making his way to the door. Sana wanted to catch him before he snuck his way into the crowd. She wanted to follow up after the conversation from the night before.
She wanted to know if he actually talked to his sister.
Flashes of the encounter last night sped through her mind, and her heart felt somber. Ayame was hurting, her fragile heart suffering from the pain of her past. Even though so much was said, Sana felt like they still had so much to say.
She didn't know the details surrounding their mother's death, but it was easy to put together. There was a car accident and Hayama's dad placed blame on him. And it tore their family apart.
What more was there to it?
Sana begged to think there was more to it. But, that was a conversation for another time.
So deep in her own thoughts, she officially lost the blond-haired boy in the crowd of people.
The auburn-haired teen wasn't too upset. She would find him later. They still had a few classes left together in the day. And she could always ask Ayame too.
Though, she really didn't want too.
Especially after her statement.
Sana knew it wasn't anything untowards her. She knew that her frustrations laid with her brother. But, she couldn't help but think Ayame harbored malicious feelings towards her.
She shook her head at the thought.
No. It was just all miscommunication. Ayame always so genuine towards her. It wasn't something she saw in her character.
Hayama Akito on the other hand...
"You're going to be late for class."
Fuka.
Sana turned and smiled at her longtime friend.
Fuka was leaning down against her crutches, giving her a strange smile that Sana's only ever seen a few times in her life.
An apologetic smile.
Her cast was so glaringly obvious. Sana couldn't help but sympathize for her longtime friend. She would have to cut her gymnastics season short, which was unfortunate since competition season was on the start.
The Olympics were her dream. And Fuka worked so hard to get closer and closer.
She's gone to camps and workshops, her mother surrounding her with Olympic figures and heads to influence her to work harder.
While it was something her mother instilled in her, Fuka had come to love gymnastics. While it caused her a lot of pain, it was also her source of comfort. She strived to be the best not only to please the glaring eyes of her mother, but to also please herself.
This injury was earth shattering to her.
"Well, I could always use you as an excuse." Sana winked, no longer delaying her response.
Fuka managed a tired smile.
"Let's go, yeah?"
Sana nodded, trying to decide whether she should offer to grab Fuka's bag.
As they walked through the hall at snail's pace, the students of Jinbou High parted for them. Some stared, some waved, some greeted, but most ignored. The effect of Fuka's injury had worn off quickly, and now most left her alone and stopped the staring.
Fuka barked at a first year for his obvious staring.
Well, the staring stopped for the most part.
Both girls talked as they made their way slowly to their next class. Sana was talking adamantly with Fuka before they arrived. After talking to her mom about it, the young Kurata realized she needed to pave way to rebuild their strained friendship, even if it was from scratch.
Fuka listened intently it seemed like, and Sana talked about everything except for the ankle. She was very keen on where the conversation was heading.
"Are you going to do any spring clubs?"
The clinking of the metal was soft, but also powerful amongst the two girls.
Sana put a finger to her chin and looked up. "Potentially. I'm kind of bored doing nothing."
"You could always go back into gymnastics."
She stopped the moment Fuka spoke those words. Sana's eyes were wide and the Osaka native realized that her friend was standing still. She looked over her shoulder and Sana was staring at her incredulously.
"What?"
Fuka stared at her, and she couldn't understand what she was trying to say.
"Gymnastics?" The brunette rolled her eyes and continued to crutch away. It was obvious that she was upset. Sana moved her feet and followed her, noticing that the hall was empty of students. And class was starting soon.
"Wait, are you serious?"
They used to be in gymnastics together when they were in middle school. But, there was a lot of strain between them, especially considering how competitive Sana and Fuka both were.
Sana had other outside activities going on. So, she quit gymnastics in order to save her friendship with Fuka.
The brunette was looking forward, biting her lip slightly.
"The team needs you, Sana."
She looked back at her with uneasy eyes. She could see the uncertainty, her apprehension. Sana knew that what Fuka was asking, it took a lot of pride.
"Fuka..." But the girl put her hand up, to stop her from rejecting.
"I know I drove you away from gymnastics." Her voice cracked, and she refused to look at Sana. "I know I made you feel like you couldn't because it was my sport."
Sana gulped. At the time, sure, Sana was annoyed. But, she had so many other things going on, she wasn't sad to lose the sport.
But doing it now?
"Of course, you didn't care because of everything else." Sana felt her chest tighten. "But..."
Fuka turned, eyes pleading. "Would you possibly return to gymnastics please? The girls need someone with confidence, someone with direction."
Sana had confidence, but direction?
"Oh, you're not serious."
Fuka stared at her with hard eyes, pleading eyes.
"You're serious?"
The brunette remained silent, and Sana's eyes went even wider.
"Fuka, I don't even remember that last time I did anything in the gym." And that was the truth. While she was probably able to do simple routines, Sana's gymnastics skills have lacked since middle school.
Fuka knew this was crazy, asking Sana to rejoin gymnastics for her. She remembered back in middle school when they were both in after school gymnastics. They were easily the best gymnasts on the team.
But Sana lacked conviction.
Fuka grew easily frustrated with her because she never took practice and competition seriously. While having fun playing the sport you love was acceptable, there was a point where the fun stopped and work began.
Sana didn't know the difference. They clashed on many occasions until finally Sana quit gym, trying to save their friendship. There was one incident before Sana quit that they had a huge fight after practice.
"You need to decide if this is what you even want to do! All you do is joke around during practice! There are girls who are working so damn hard and you just sit there and mess around!"
"Fuka-"
"No! Don't Fuka me! You know I'm right, Sana! You are being nothing more than a distraction to the girls who are striving to be as good as you or me right now."
Sana didn't reply.
Instead, she apologized and left.
They didn't talk for a few days. Sana didn't show up to gymnastics and the brunette had her guilt eating away at her. The air at practice was awkward, and Sana was the elephant in the room no one wanted to talk about.
Sana found her a few days later with a smile.
"Here you go, Captain!"
The auburn-haired girl handed her a piece of paper, a grin on her lips.
"What's this?"
"My official resignation from gymnastics club." Fuka's eyes went wide and Sana chuckled.
"You're right. I don't take gymnastics seriously. And I shouldn't be taking that focus away from the girls who are working hard. So, here's my resignation."
It ate Fuka up for weeks.
She couldn't even look at Sana without feeling her guilt rise. She knew it was her fault. Her mother was constantly pushing her. Her stubbornness translated onto her team. As captain of their team, she was always very hard on them. She was teaching them in how her mother taught her.
Sana must have noticed her remorse because she came up to her a few days later and gave her some reassurance.
"I didn't just quit because we were fighting so much. Gymnastics was taking too much time away, anyway. I did it mostly for fun because I work all the time. So, it's not really a big deal!"
So, for Fuka to be asking Sana to rejoin gymnastics was her swallowing her pride.
Sana was looking at her incredulously, head titled, that confused look plastered on her face.
"You are serious."
Fuka watched as Sana started shaking her head with a chuckle.
"Fuka..."
She knew that voice. And she knew what she was asking of Sana. Asking her to do something that brings back difficult memories. Asking her to do something like this.
Sana didn't owe her anything.
If anything, it was her that owed Sana everything.
"You're right." She looked away and bit down on her lip. "I'm sorry I asked."
Fuka asking Sana to come back wasn't just about her swallowing her pride though. She had done a lot of thinking since Tsuyoshi and herself shared that conversation with one another a few days ago.
Despite the animosity she felt towards Sana at times, she was being unfair towards her. Sana always tried her best to be a good friend.
Fuka never gave her the same courtesy.
After a few days of thought, Fuka had determined to be a better person. She wanted to handle her feeling with Hayama Akito maturely and stop pushing Sana away for selfish reasons.
She wanted to stop hating her best friend because of envy.
Sana was wearing a face of confliction. She bit down on her lip. Though one couldn't see it in her eyes, her body language spoke volumes.
"Okay."
"Wait what?" Fuka asked, her voice full of surprise.
Sana was wearing a smile that replaced her confliction.
"I'll do it."
"… really?" She asked again, in a softer voice.
It was that moment that Fuka realized how good of a friend and person Kurata Sana really was.
Especially considering all that Sana had endured in the last few years. She knew that gymnastics could bring about awful memories that the auburn-haired teen most likely locked away.
Fuka threw her arms around Sana's neck and the girl "eeped," obviously startled by Fuka's sudden hug. The crutches went falling to the floor in a loud clank and Fuka squeezed tightly.
"Fuka?"
Tears. There were tears in her eyes.
She couldn't remember the last time she cried over something so simple, so small. Of course, she always swallowed her tears because they signified weakness.
But, this meant the world to her.
"Thank you."
Sana returned the hug and patted her back. She didn't say anything, which was odd but also comforting. In an empty hallway, Fuka appreciated the silence. In the silence, she found resolution.
Resolution to move forward with a broken friendship.
-O-
Sana and Tsuyoshi were sitting in the library for their daily study/tutoring sessions when Sana sighed, dropping her pen in between her book.
Today was a weird day.
It started this morning with Fuka and her plead to take over the gymnastics club while she was out of commission. To say she was surprised, that wouldn't even describe the emotions Sana was feeling right now.
Fuka had cried.
Something they both shared was their ability to hide their emotions and shed the tears. Although, Sana did have to say she was much better at masking her feelings than Fuka.
But, it had been some time since Sana had seen her brown-haired friend shed tears.
It brought a smile to her face, thinking about the moment they shared. Being separated so long, they had walked on egg shells around one another. They were both different people from the last time they saw one another.
But, in that moment, Sana felt like there was an opportunity to fix what time had broken.
Even if she wasn't exactly thrilled to be participating, Sana knew this was the right step forward to mending their distant friendship.
Thinking about gymnastics left a sour taste in her mouth, particularly in relation to having to get into routine again.
No more free afternoons I guess.
While that was a positive sign, Sana was still somewhat disheartened.
She had intentions to talk with Ayame briefly to assure she was okay.
But, she didn't see her at school. The young Hayama did not sit with them at lunch nor did she walk home with them. Sana felt like the young blonde was avoiding her and felt guilty thinking back to the conversation that occurred.
Even Hayama was avoiding eye contact, almost like he was ashamed.
Maybe he was upset because Sana saw him in a state that left him vulnerable.
"Did you know Akito's birthday was last week?" Tsuyoshi said, breaking her train of thought.
Sana's ears perked, and her jaw fell at the statement.
"His birthday?!"
That jerk! He hadn't said anything about his birthday! And she loved birthday's too!
He nodded with a somber smile. "Yeah, he is always quiet about his birthday."
"Did you get him anything?" She asked, but then she wished she didn't when Tsuyoshi's smile fell.
"I wouldn't know what to get him."
Sana sat silent for a moment, thinking of ways she should approached Hayama. He would probably tell her to "mind her own business."
"Do you happen to know the last time he celebrated?"
Tsuyoshi's face fell.
Well, that answered her question.
"I don't think Akito has celebrated his birthday in some time."
Sana's heart fell. How long since he actually had something to celebrate? Getting to know Hayama Akito meant knowing the dark and morbid parts of his life, which seemed to be consistent in his life.
She put her palm in her hand, wondering what she could do to help him celebrate.
Sana could buy him a gift. But, were they close enough for her to do that? It's like Tsuyoshi said, she wouldn't even know what to get him. She has no idea what his likes and dislikes were outside of karate. She shook her head. Those thoughts were ridiculous.
Unless...
A grin broke out on her face.
Tsuyoshi looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"How do you think he would feel about a birthday party?"
The brown-haired boy's eyes almost left his head as his brows almost hit his hairline.
"A... birthday party?" He almost squeaked and Sana thought it was kind of adorable.
She nodded, a grin spreading across her lips. "Yeah! Mr. Lone Wolf needs some joy in his life, and what better way than a birthday party!"
Tysuyoshi wasn't buying it. His face fell into a slight frown and he sighed, closing his eyes.
"I think it's a noble effort, but a party, Sana?" He chuckled incredulously, shaking his head.
"I realize that it may seem implausible-"
Tsuyoshi snorted, then followed by a bitter laugh. "Implausible? More like impossible. You know Akito would never."
Sana pouted, crossing her hands across her chest. "I don't think it's so far out of reach."
Thinking about the progress she has made so far with the blonde, the auburn-haired teen knew that if she could possibly melt away a part of his ice wall, she may be able to convince him to have a birthday party.
Hayama's best friend rose a brow. "What makes you so confident?"
She grinned brightly. "Because you see my dearest Tsuyoshi, little by little, I will be able to scrape away at the ice wall around his heart and make him warm up to the idea of having his friends by his side again."
He remained silent for a moment, and then pouted. "But his birthday just passed. And where he's at right now, I don't think he wants to be around anyone."
A glint in her eye and she smiled wickedly. "Who said anything about a party now?"
Confusion was written all over his face and he tilted his head with perplexion.
"I'm afraid I don't understand?"
"Two words, my glass eyed friend." She put up her fingers with a peace sign and smiled. "Middle. Birthday."
If he looked confused before, complete bewilderment now covered his face.
"Middle... birthday?"
She nodded with enthusiasm.
"It's when you find the middle date between two birthdays! And you celebrate with a party!" She threw her hands up in the air and smiled. Sana received a few glares from the people around her as they silently cursed her for disrupting their studying.
"I'm assuming you've done this before?"
She scratched the back of her head with a nervous chuckle.
"Welllllll, not exactly."
"I saw it on a TV show once and thought it would be awesome to do!"
Sana wanted to do a middle birthday for hers and Fuka's birthday, but the brown-haired girl always refused.
Lucky girl had her birthday on Christmas Eve. So, she got to celebrate twice.
"And would it be a joint birthday party with him and yourself?"
Sana grinned once more.
"I'll take some of the spot light off of him." She immediately went for her planner and found the calendar. She started counting in from her birthday and Hayama's birthday, focusing harder than she was while studying.
And when her fingers landed on the date, her eyes went wide with joy. There was a sparkle in her eyes and she couldn't stop the glee from spilling from her grin.
"Well, what's the verdict?" He asked, trying to peek over her shoulder to the calendar.
"Christmas Eve."
"Christmas Eve?"
She nodded, smiling from cheek to cheek as she circled the date and already had plans calculating in her head.
Sana could already imagine what the party decorations would be like, the obvious themes, the food Shimura would cook up. She could see it all now!
And Christmas Eve was more than enough time to warm the Lone Wolf's heart.
"I don't remember the last time Akito celebrated Christmas if we're being honest. He used to come to my house after his mom died, but that was three years ago." He stopped for a moment. "I don't think he has celebrated since then."
Sana's smile faltered.
He hasn't celebrated in three years?
She frowned immediately after. "What!?" She stood up and slammed her hands on her desk. Everyone around her turned and stared with either shock or annoyance. One student even had the nerve to tell her to quiet down. She merely glared their way.
"That won't do! Everyone has to celebrate Christmas!"
At this point, everyone around them was now looking at her as she glared own at her friend. Tsuyoshi was attempting to calm her down by lowering his arms in her direction.
"Shh, Sana! We're in the library!"
"Then it's official! We will celebrate this middle birthday in December!"
Tsuyoshi tugged down on her uniform, seeing the librarian stand from her desk. Sana was too preoccupied by this news to notice.
"Okay yes! We will celebrate his birthday on Christmas. Now can you please sit down!" He begged, still pulling down on her sleeve.
But he couldn't save them because the librarian was now standing tall above them with a look of annoyance.
Sana smiled nervously. "Oh. Hi Mrs. Yugi."
The older woman narrowed her eyes tighter at the young auburn-haired girl.
"Ms. Kurata. This is a library need I remind you? There are other students here who are trying to study and get their studies done."
Sana looked around the room and found snickering students staring at her. She glared. Good thing she didn't care what people thought of her.
"Ah, sorry Mrs. Yugi. I'll b e sure to keep it down!" But that brought no reassurance because she shouted this with a grin and the librarian gave her a noted look. She then turned her attention to Tsuyoshi.
No words had to be spoken as he nodded with a nervous smile.
"I'll try to keep her quiet."
Satisfied with Tsuyoshi's answer, the school librarian trotted away back to her desk and left Sana and the brown-haired boy to be.
Sana stuck her tongue out at the crabby school librarian.
She then turned back towards Hayama's best friend and smile confidently.
"So the, it's official. Middle birthday on Christmas Eve."
He didn't look convinced with his uncertain frown lining at his face and a firm line pressed on his lips.
"I don't know, Sana. I don't see how you would make it possible for that to even happen? Akito is not going to go along with this idea of yours." And that's because he knew he wouldn't.
There was no way in hell that he would agree to something like this.
But her smiled never faltered, and she remained confident in her stance.
"It's the middle of October. I have until the beginning of December, middle of December the latest." Her grin widening even further if possible. "I have plenty of time."
Tsuyoshi shook his head in disbelief. Kurata Sana was truly something else. Her conviction and ability to be so optimistic was truly inspiring. It always seemed like Sana took on the world with such ease.
And it was not easy considering who her best friend was and who she was determined to help.
But, she seemed to always be taking it in strides.
Sana truly seem invincible at times.
"Alright, so now that that is taken care of, could you please finish helping me with this math homework?"
There was a collective chuckle across the library and Sana turned mildly red, scratching the back of her head in embarrassment. She sat down next to Tsuyoshi and he smiled, opening her book right back up to continue where they left off.
-O-
He was restless.
These past couple of nights, he hadn't been able to get much sleep.
And it was all thanks to Kurata Sana.
He tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable spot on his bed. But, it seemed almost impossible.
He'd been avoiding her.
And she had definitely noticed.
"You're ignoring me."
He didn't immediately reply, and he gave her a look of annoyance, hoping she would leave him alone.
Of course, it only made her glare at him even sharper and follow him closer behind.
At this point, he should just expect her to be a thorn on his side.
"And you're annoying me." He replied with callus.
"You know, I was just going to ask if you wanted to work on the project, but you don't even give me a chance too."
Because every time they met up for this god forsaken project, something happened.
"We still have another month and a half before the project is even due. So why are you so persistent with this?"
"Because I see this as a bonding opportunity, duh!"
She smiled so easily that it made him uncomfortable. How did she do it? How?
After their confrontation the other night, he knew that Kurata Sana was more than just a girl with friendly smiles.
"I think we've had enough bonding opportunities." She narrowed her eyes at his comment.
"Obviously if you don't even care to let me know that your birthday just passed!" She somewhat shouted towards him and he stopped in his step.
How did she know?
He rolled his eyes internally.
That was a stupid question to asked.
Of course, he knew who she got her information from. Tsuyoshi had all the arsenal in the world on him. Though, he doubted the brown-haired boy would say too much knowing how private of a person he was.
He shrugged his shoulder in response.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Her voice changed, though he didn't dare to look back at her. Akito wondered if she knew realized the change in her tone.
"Because it's not important."
Not really. Not when you look at everything that has happened.
She didn't immediately reply.
Akito dared to look back and found an indescribable look on her face.
Her lips and brows were pressed together though there was an apathetic countenance on her face.
There was a frog in his throat as her eyes stared deep at him. It was starting to make him nervous, weirdly enough. He didn't let people unsettle him. Especially nosy brats like her.
"It's your birthday. The day you were brought to this Earth. It is definitely important."
She was putting all her cards down on the table because he knew exactly what hand she was betting on. Kurata refused back then to take his life (not that he really expected her too), and she still refused to acknowledge that his life was not important.
This girl was persistent if anything.
A smile creeped on her face, one that left stunned.
"All in good time, Hayama-san. All in good time." She padded his shoulder and walked off, humming a song that he had heard her sing before.
She walked past him and jumped in her step, her attitude completely changing from just moments ago.
It left him aghast. He scrunched his brows together as he watched her walk away.
What the hell was that?
While he was ignoring her, he was thinking about what steps he could take forward to repair the relationship he had with his sister, or rather the lack of.
His apology was just the beginning, he knew. There was much more work to be done. Though, he wasn't quite sure where to start.
He sighed roughly, thinking about these troubling thoughts that didn't once plague his mind. All because of Kurata Sana did these things start happening.
But, he supposed it was also because of her that he didn't kill himself.
And started talking to his friends a bit more.
And started repairing his relationship with his sister.
Because if it wasn't for this stupid project, his sister wouldn't have become upset and lashed out at him.
He supposed that he owed a lot to her.
Which was infuriating because she came into his life like a literal hurricane. She knocked him down to the floor, literally.
He remembered that shock, that electric pulse that coursed through his body when they touched.
Since then, he has been adamant on avoiding any physical contact with her.
Not that that did any good to him.
Kurata has allowed herself to wiggle into his personal space and touch him not just physically, but also emotionally.
Akito sighed roughly, rubbing his hand down his face.
She was just a stupid girl.
A stupid girl with a big heart that she wore on her sleeve and tried to do too much for everyone else.
A girl who always seemed like she had everything together.
When in reality, she was a girl who masked her own feelings for the sake of others.
She was just a girl who was abandoned by her own mother.
He still couldn't wrap his mind around it. When she confessed the truth to him, it absolutely shocked him. While he tried not to react outwardly, his questions definitely gave him away, at least that's what he thought.
She was so hesitant to answer him at first, and while she did her damn best to hide her emotions, he could see right through her.
Because he saw his sister in her. He saw himself in her.
They shared similar backgrounds and it was something he was not expecting.
She was adopted.
It was something he couldn't wrap his head around.
Her personality and disposition never indicated that she had endured the trauma of a foster child, of abandonment. From what he understood, foster children suffered severe cases of PTSD, anxiety, depression, etc. Looking at Kurata Sana, it didn't seem like she endured any of that.
Then again, she was only in the system for a short amount of time.
She was adopted rather quickly from he was told.
He misjudged her.
From the moment he met her, he had been misjudging her.
Akito thought someone like her, someone who is always so exuberate and optimistic, couldn't possibly have undergone any hardships in their life, couldn't possibly understand what he had gone through.
Of course, that was naïve to think. Every person undergoes different challenges and difficulties in their lives that shape them into the person they are.
How did she do it?
How did she recover from her trauma? From her abandonment?
Maybe it was her support system, Akito thought. Kurata was always going on about how wonderful her mother was; how caring and kind she could be. The house maid also seemed to be more family than just a faithful employee. She had an abundance of friends; all who care deeply for her.
Or maybe, it was all a lie.
Maybe she was incredibly skilled in masking her true emotions and putting a façade together for the world. Maybe she was acting with such a bright demeanor as a defense mechanism to hide her true emotions.
Or maybe, he was just reading it all wrong.
Whatever the case was, it caused him a restless night and all he wanted to do was go to sleep.
Stupid girl.
-O-
Life in Tokyo has gone as expected. The fast-paced atmosphere of the city does well for Sana. While she has always had an eccentric personality, I've noticed her energy has increased since moving here. She does seem to be enjoying the new life she has built for herself.
I must admit that my concern for her well-being has fluctuated. She does not seem to be feeling ill of any sort. This bodes well.
As accustomed I am to the roller coaster of her emotions, she has certainly changed demeanors over the last few days. She came home a few nights ago with tear streaks on her cheeks and bolstering red eyes. And when she saw me, she wept tears.
I was taken aback by the pain she was in. She hugged me tightly and apologized continuously.
My heart felt heavy because I wasn't sure what was causing my daughter this overwhelming amount of grief. She did not share her sorrows with me.
She asked if she could sleep with me that night.
Sana refused to leave my side all night.
It reminded me of her time as a child.
As I stroked her hair, I thought about her progression and maturation into the woman she is now. Her energy and fire as a child was almost too overwhelming. But as I think, I almost wish she could go back to the time of her childhood, however painful it may have been.
Her innocence was lost to her at such a young age.
But, she never let the tragedies of her past define the person she wanted to be.
Despite understanding the hardships of the world, Sana decided to remain optimistic and keep her smile. I wish that I could have the strength that child does.
She motivates me every day, that child of mine. I am incredibly proud of who she has become and what she continues to strive to be.
My hope is that she continues to live her life without the weight of her past bearing her down.
Kurata Misako closed her notebook and looked out the window watching as Sana and Shimura shovel away snow to the banks of their backyard.
The head of the Kurata household gave a warm smile as she watched Sana and Shimura spray snow at one another.
She had been silent in her actions since moving to Tokyo.
Misako decided to sit back and watch as this life unfolded, seeing where it would take her daughter next. School would always remain the same for her daughter. It wasn't her strongest suit, but Sana was always determined to do her best.
And that statement was relevant to all things her daughter wanted to do in life.
Misako wished she could have preserved her daughter's innocence, her childhood. She wished she didn't have to teach Sana how to be an adult at such an early age. She wished she didn't have to teach her how to handle adult situations. She wished that Sana could have been a child just a little longer.
Though, her daughter had a knack for making the best of every situation thrown at her. Sana was always more mature for her age, especially as a child. The things she said and her actions reflected on that. Other children were confused by her actions. Adults were shocked by her words.
She still acted like a child, and her naivety and denseness often characterized her. But, she was always so perceptive of other's feelings and emotions. Just not her own. She couldn't decipher her own heart even if she wanted too.
Sana let the weight of the world fall on her shoulders. But, she always wore a smile on her face despite what anguish she could be feeling.
Kurata Misako had seen it all in her daughter.
Sana's tears the other night left her deeply worried. She had not seen tears like that in her daughter's eyes since Sana's first year in middle school.
Misako closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Those memories were so painful. Her heart clenched, thinking of those tying times. There was a pang in her heart when she thought about Sana and him and what followed after.
The oldest Kurata was happy that her daughter did not recollect those memories. She feared the day it did, it would further scar her already battered heart.
A heart that is dangling on its thread, barely hanging together with tape. One flick of a finger and her shattered pieces crumble apart.
Her daughter was the strongest person she knew. Even if her heart came apart, Sana wouldn't dare to let it show.
The older brunette thought about Sana's current challenges. Her daughter had spoken to her about her trials at school. Her daughter informed her about the disconnection she felt between her and the young Matsui. How their relationship has been strained since their reunion. How did Sana put it?
"We're like strangers again. It's like I don't even know who she is even though I know exactly who she is."
Sana was frustrated by the attitude her old friend adopted. She expected the changes after a three-year separation. But, she was sure to not expect such a drastic change in personality and the strain on their friendship.
And then there was her every day challenges with the young Hayama Akito.
He was the topic of most of their conversations these days.
There was a conversation they held one evening after one of their mutual friends had called Sana. She ran out the door, calling out she would return in a bit and that it was emergent. Misako trusted her daughter enough to know that Sana wouldn't disappear without reason.
Surely enough, Sana returned about two hours later.
The young girl seemed content though there was sadness in her eyes that Misako had seen before.
"I think I get it now."
Misako looked up from her cup of tea, arching a brow at her daughter.
"Hayama is lonely. But, he doesn't want to admit it to others or himself."
The oldest Kurata set her cup down on her lap. Her daughter's voice was nostalgic.
"He wanted to kill himself."
There was a strain in her daughter's voice, and she was looking out the window with stoic eyes. Sana's jaw hardened and she remained silent for a moment.
"He had the knife with him. He asked me to kill him." Her voice was worn and uneasy.
"All because I asked him what I could do to help him."
"And what was the result of that conversation assuming you didn't end his life." She was always articulate with her words. Misako was an esteemed and award-winning author after all.
"I dug the knife into the wood behind him and called him an idiot." She chuckled, and that was the first ounce of emotion he had seen from her since her return.
Sana turned back towards her, and there was a familiar fire burning in those sad, hazel colored eyes of hers.
"I want to make him love life, Mama." She spoke with this assertiveness Misako had seen before. "I want to see him happy. I want to make him smile."
Such confidence in her stature, Misako thought to herself as her daughter stood proud. She had a confident smile on her lips.
"And I won't stop until I hear him say he is."
It seemed like every day Sana was coming home with new stories and developments in their relationship. Misako recalled their initial greeting, and her frustrations with his passive aggressiveness.
But now, it seemed like things were moving in a positive direction.
"Mama!"
Misako closed her book without a thought. Sana came bursting through the door with a fevering smile.
"I have an idea I would like to share with you!"
She arched a brow, and her only daughter grinned.
"I want to throw a party!"
She nodded her head vigorously, the smile never lifting from her face.
"And what is the occasion of this party?"
Her grin grew larger.
"A middle birthday!"
A middle... birthday?
"Hayama's birthday was last week and he refused to celebrate. And since my birthday is in March, I decided that we should have a middle birthday party!" Sana seemed overjoy at the idea, and Misako couldn't help but chuckle.
What an interesting thought.
While her daughter was in most ways mature for her age, she still acted like a child so often that Misako would forget she was not almost 17.
"And guess when our middle birthdays happen to fall?"
The grin shined, and it was splitting Sana's face in half.
"Do tell."
"Christmas Eve!" She jumped in her step. "I know it's a bit of a stretch considering that's a family holiday, but it would be awesome to get everyone together and have Hayama celebrate his birthday for once!"
"Would you get him something for his birthday?" Intrigued, Misako asked and Sana gave her a dead panned look.
"Of course! Everyone deserves a gift on their birthday!"
Then there was a change in demeanor for Sana. Her face brightened, like a light bulb going off. The grin on her face grew once more.
"Do you still have all that crazy and weird junk you get from the catalogs every month?"
She was offended by that comment. "They are not junk, daughter."
Sana waved her hand. "Crazy and weird junk. And you know it."
Misako narrowed her eyes. "You continue to call my items junk yet it seems you are in need of something?"
"Maybe. If I remember correctly, there's something in there that I may need." She remained silent for a moment before smiling. "Are they still in that closet?"
What did her daughter need?
She nodded. Sana grinned once more and ran out of family room towards the closet that held all her catalog items.
"She seems to be in higher spirits these days." Miss Shimura commented with a smile and Misako nodded.
"She has found a purpose again." Misako recited words that her daughter once spoke to her so long ago. While it was a somber memory, it was happy sentiment that made her heart swell.
"Yes... it seems she has."
Misako returned to the manuscript in her hands, thinking of the new direction she wanted to head into with her book.
She sipped on her tea silently as her daughter's voice carried throughout the house with glee. Misako smiled in content as life seemed to be at peace, for now.
AN: Sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual. I'm hoping that I can make it up by releasing another chapter by the end of the month. Though, I have little time due working to working two jobs. Though I really try to manage to crank this out for y'all.
Anyway, some positives amongst the angst. Akito and Sana making strides and Fuka and Sana relationship building. Also, I have so dearly missed writing Kurata Misako. If there is any character I think I capture the best, it has to be Sana's Mama. As of now, she is going to play a much bigger role in the story. Sana's story cannot be told without her mother.
I don't have much else to say otherwise! Reviews and criticism are always encouraged!
Until next time!
Dark Waffle