A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry this one took a while. Turns out time flies when you're graduating from nursing school and applying for jobs. And writing bits and pieces of this chapter and getting caught up with The Legend of Zelda: Breathe of the Wild. I tell you, that game is as fun as it is torturous. Can't wait for the sequel!
Also, this is another LONG chapter. To make up for the long wait in between. Another one of those chapters that kind of wrote itself. And also, took a turn that was never intended to happen. But, can't say that I nor the lovely readers will be too upset by it.
Happy reading!
Chapter 29: Haunted
The rain was falling lightly on their umbrellas as she skipped down the sidewalk in her new, shiny rain boots. She was humming a happy tune, so excited after a long but exciting day at dance rehearsal.
Looking up to her adopted mother, a grin that reached on one end of her face to the other appeared, her heart delighted to have her by her side. She was happy that she had a new mama, one that loved her and cared for her.
She felt bad, being a bad girl for her at first. She was so mean and said nasty things to her that she was sure her mama would give her back to where she got her from.
But her mama didn't. She told her that she loved her with all her heart. She didn't care that Sana wasn't her real daughter, that they were not blood related. After all, being a mother was more than just who gave birth to you. Or at least, that's what her mama said.
7-year-old Kurata Sana looked up at her mama and tugged at her kimono.
"Hey Mama! Guess what! My teacher gave me a gold star in class today! She said if I keep it up, I will grow up to be a real star. You think so?" She said in such a high, energetic voice that was so uncharacteristic of her.
Her mother smiled down at her and padded her head. "You will be whatever you believe you want to be, daughter."
Sana smiled, hugging her mother's leg, nearly knocking her over.
When she let go, that's when she saw them. Those people sitting in the rain, no umbrellas in their hands, getting really wet from the water falling from the sky!
That's what her mother called "homeless people." Usually people thought that homeless people were all old, but some of them looked pretty young.
Her eyes fell on one man in particular, with eyes that looked so empty and cold. He had a brown hood over his head, with a blue towel peeking out from under. He had lots of scruffy hair on his face and seemed kind of dirty. Sana frowned.
"Mama, why are people homeless?" Even when Sana didn't have a mother, she still lived in a home with a lot of other children. So, why couldn't they?
Her mother looked down at her with a strained smile and placed a small hand on the top of her head.
"A lot of different things can happen to people." And that was all she said to that. They continued walking, but Sana kept looking back to the man with empty eyes.
.
She was so proud of herself! She went to dance rehearsal all by herself. Her mama was too busy finishing up her deadline for her new book. Sana didn't want to bother her. So, now she was walking back by herself.
During her trip back, she saw him again. That man with those sunken eyes. Sana saw him sitting and staring at the ground. She walked by a kiosk where they were selling boxed lunches. She did wonder, was he hungry? She did hear the kids at school say that homeless people usually go through the trash for food…
Sana paid her allowance to the nice man at the kiosk and skipped her way over to the homeless man sitting by himself. The 7-year-old girl placed the boxed lunch in front of him.
"Here you go! This is my favorite! I hope you like it!"
He barely lifted his eyes off the floor as ground, his movements so slow. Sana wondered if he even had enough energy to grab the food from the box. When he reached down slowly, he grabbed the food and slowly placed it in his mouth.
It took him a minute to finish the food and he muttered a very soft and quiet thank you. Sana knew he had nothing to give to her in return but that was okay. She was happy that he ate it all up.
.
She saw the person from yesterday when she was coming home from dance rehearsal again. He was sitting by himself, his friends laughing and talking about something that he did not care to listen too. Sana pouted, head tilted to the side.
Staring at him and remembering how he ate his box so slowly and quietly, Sana decided that he was so cute and maybe, just maybe, wanted to take him home with her!
Running over to him, the young girl stood in front of him with her arms stretched wide open and a grin plastered on her face.
"Hey hey! You don't have a home, right? Well, how about you come live with me at my house?"
She could see all his friends whip their heads so fast in her direction, eyes wide open and their jaws to the floor. The man in front of her though, had no reaction. He stared at her with those lifeless eyes and it caused a tight squeeze at her heart.
So, she grabbed his hand and dragged him along behind her, constantly turning back to smile at him. She ignored the horrified and confused looks that were thrown her way.
"I've brought three stray dog's home with me now, so mama shouldn't mind me bringing a human right? Though, it would be fair if she was surprised." She muttered to herself as she stroked her chin with her free hand.
Needless to say, when Kurata Sana brought in this homeless man, her mother and maid went wide eyed. Misako threw the coffee cup in her hand and her jaw dropped at the insane decision making of her daughter. After Sana explained how she wanted to give a home to a stray like she did dogs, her mother put a hand to her forehead and shook her head.
Misako laughed. "I suppose you are my daughter. I always bring things home."
Shimura looked at her with displeasing eyes as she knew the tone in her home keeper's voice.
"YAY! He can stay! He can stay! Did you hear that, mister? You can stay!"
If she was just an ordinary mommy, she would have said no, but since it was her, it was okay!
Sana cheered as she jumped in her place, grabbing his hands and smiling up at the man with no name and lifeless eyes.
.
He finally told her his name!
His name was Rei! He didn't seem to smile or think very much, and he never said anything except yes, yes or whatever is fine. Still, he seemed really nice.
He let her play with him whenever she wanted. And he seemed to not be any trouble.
She really wanted to keep this Rei.
.
Rei smiled for the first time! He looked so cute that Sana didn't want anyone else to see him! So, she decided that he would wear a mask.
When she told her mother, she merely chuckled and thumped her over the head with that silly hammer of hers.
"Daughter, a mask won't work very well. How about some sunglasses instead?" Her mother offered with a sneaky smile.
.
Sana cuddled up to Rei, who was now hugging her with a warm smile. He started to speak more and showing more emotion. It made her so happy! She looked up to him and he smiled.
"How about this? I'll work a little and give you some of my money? You could even be my pimp! I want a boyfriend; will you be mine?"
He smiled again and Sana's heart thumped so loud in her chest.
"Whatever is fine, Sana-chan."
.
"I love you, Rei! Be mine forever!"
-O-
Opening her eyes frantically, she sat up quickly in bed, gasping for air. Sana was panting as memories of her childhood came crashing in, nearly drowning her. A hand went up to her face as she covered half, trying to calm her breathing.
Her eyes went wide as she felt the tears fall from her eyes and down her cheeks, like a never-ending waterfall. She furiously rubbed at her eyes, trying to dry away the tears. But they were relentless.
They just kept coming.
The auburn-haired girl shuttered a breath as she brought up her knees to her chest and buried herself in them.
"Why is this happening?" Slowly whispering to herself, Sana bit down on her lip.
Why were these memories of Rei coming back to haunt her like this?
Was this God taking revenge on her? Striking her down? She could hear the voices now, the whispers, the mutterings. She could feel all the eyes on her, watching her and her every move. Sana rubbed at her elbows, trying to keep them off.
All these feelings, they came back like a damn tidal wave. She was under water, water filling her lungs, her throat. She was screaming for help, the air escaping her. Screaming for someone to grab her hand and pull her above.
Her eyes were stinging, but through her tears that dissipated with water around her, she saw him.
Saw him with his light brown hair that was combed back ever so properly. She could see his light brown eyes through the dark sunglasses she forced him to wear. His kind and caring smile that he only reserved for her.
She reached for him, shouted for him.
Rei! Rei! Help me, Rei!
But he didn't come.
How could he? He was gone.
Rei was dead.
And it was all her fault.
Taking a deep breath, Sana released the grip on herself and swung her legs over the bed. She stood slowly, shivering at the coldness of the floor beneath her feet. She walked to the door of her bedroom and opened it slowly, not wanting to wake or worry her mother or Shimura.
Slowly, Sana hurried to the bathroom and splashed her face with cold water. She looked back into the mirror and found the reflection of herself.
Except, she saw the 12-year-old girl she used to be. With a happy, go lucky smile and bright, shining eyes that lit up the room everywhere she went. Her hair was in two pigtails, her signature looks back in the day. And she felt like she could take on the whole world.
She snorted, laughing at herself and her naivety.
Closing her eyes and opening them again, there was someone new in front of the mirror. Resemblance of the girl she once knew, they shared the same hair color, except, her hair was no longer in pig tails. Now, it was longer and easier to style. The baby fat around her chin had slimmed away and she grew into herself.
Though, disappointingly still underdeveloped in the feminine aisle.
That girl she once knew was nothing but a shell now of who she was now.
That pep in her step was gone though she sure as hell still smiled brightly for everyone to see. And they bought it; all of them. Everyone in her life bought the fake smiles and the candid laughter she gave.
Sher perfected it. Perfected it exactly that way she wanted it.
Sana sighed, rubbing at her eyes.
Sleep was escaping her, which was no good. Tomorrow was the entrance ceremony for the new year, and she would be seeing all her friends again. She didn't want any of her friends to worry.
Laying back down in her bed, Sana took a few deep breathes, trying to ease the unease within her. She grabbed one of her pillows and placed it over her head, hoping that maybe with complete darkness, sleep would find her.
-O-
"I wonder if Principal Nara Nara is going to talk at the entrance ceremony again." He could hear his sister say as they walked down the sidewalk to school.
This was something new they were doing. Before, they had left to school at different times. He often left before she did, not really putting much attention towards her.
But he did say and promise to himself that he wanted to be better.
So, this morning, instead of leaving before her, he waited. He purposely took his time getting ready and acted like he couldn't find parts of his uniform. Imagine the look on Ayame's face when he came downstairs, asking if she was ready to go.
Dumbfounded of course, she hurriedly grabbed her stuff – with him reminding her to not forget her jacket – and walked out the door. He knew she didn't want him to see, but he caught the small smile that played on her lips as she walked out before him.
Hayama Akito droned out his sister, not really caring who was talking at this stupid ceremony. Every year, it was the same. Every year, the teachers went on and on about status and education and future, blah, blah, blah.
The blond always ended up leaving halfway through the damn thing anyway.
He grimaced slightly as his right shoulder pulsated with a dull throb. With the frigid temperatures, his shoulder had been extra sensitive these last few days. Applying heat every few hours and doing a few shoulder exercises he remembered from physical therapy, Akito hoped that would be enough to help suppress the pain.
Unfortunately, that had not been the case.
His shoulder was screaming at him this morning.
Looking to his sister, he wondered if her back was just as painful.
If it was, she didn't dare to show it.
"Nii-chan."
Akito blinked, eyes a little dazed over. He looked down at his baby sister and she arched a brow at him. "Did you hear what I said?"
"No." He answered, knowing there was no point in lying to her.
She pouted slightly and huffed. "I asked if you were feeling okay."
Looking down at her, the concern and worry filled her brown eyes. She turned her head slightly, waiting for a response. Huh, looks like he wasn't the only one thinking about the past.
Putting a hand to her head, she yelped slightly. The oldest sibling pushed past her, removing his hand from her head.
"Are you?" He turned only his head back towards her, the rest of his body still facing forward. Her eyes went wide, that deer in the headlights look she plays so well. A slight blush played on her cheeks before she crossed her arms out in front of her.
"I'm fine." She muttered into her scarf, looking away.
"If your back hurts, you should say something." This time, he turned his body towards her slightly, arms stuffed in the pockets of his school coat.
She looked surprised again, eyes going wide and all that. Honestly, he felt that at this point, she should know that he was not one to beat around the bush.
"I said I'm fine." She repeated with a little more force than before. His brow arched and he was almost amused at this sudden attitude she got with him. Akito remembered when she wasn't always so cautious with her words and would fight with him like any siblings do.
"If you say so." And they continued their journey back to school.
When they arrived, the school yard was filled with students, excitedly talking about the holidays and what they got for Christmas, what they did for New Year's, etc., etc., etc. He didn't really care to join the gossip, though he knew the gossip would find him.
Akito could see his sister's eyes darting through the crowd, probably trying to find her best friend or her other "older brother." Maybe even the idiot too, since she had taken such a liking to her.
Speaking of the idiot…
He didn't think Ayame saw her yet, since she was still searching the crowd. But, Akito found her pretty quickly. She was hard to miss with her boisterous and obnoxiously loud voice.
Except, today was the opposite.
She seemed… different today.
Her shoulders were slumped with body slumped over. Her hair was covering her face, but he could see the blank stare in her tired eyes. There were dark bags under her eyes like she hadn't gotten any sleep.
But it was the absence of her smile that caught him most off guard.
An unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach overcame him and absentmindedly he took two steps towards her.
Except, she was suddenly hugged by the Prince of Jinbou as he greeted her with a loud calling of her name that had his sister rush over to them quickly, muttering a quick "see you later" to him before meeting them.
She was smiling now, hiding away whatever it was she was feeling just moments ago. Part of him wanted to usher Akimoto and his sister away, give her a pillow and tell her go to sleep because damn, the girl looked like she needed it.
But that wasn't him. And it would be out of character for him to do something so suddenly and new. He really wasn't in the mood to be gossiped about.
Instead, Akito stepped away and walked towards the entrance of the building and prepare for the entrance ceremony.
-O-
Sana was almost toppled over as Hiro circled his arm around her neck and she was broken out of her own thoughts and drowsiness. She looked up and saw the charming, wide grin and sparkling green eyes that sent warmth in her.
"Morning to ya!"
She smiled, lightly elbowing him and he fell back so dramatically as he clutched his stomach and pretended to fall to the floor.
"You are so cold to me, Kurata."
"Only because you ask for it, Akimoto."
They shared a snickering smile and Hiro hugged her close to him, making her blush slightly. Sana definitely did not miss the glares that were sent her way and the whispers that followed them.
"Sana-chan! Good morning!" She was tackled again into another hug as a young blonde squeezed her tight.
"Oof! Ayame-chan! Good morning!" When Ayame pulled away, Sana's eyes went right behind Ayame and that's when she found her older brother walking into the front of the building on his own.
"Did you guys walk to school together this morning?" She asked, a smile rising. The young blonde smiled, nodding her head.
"Would you look at that." Hiro commented, crossing his arms in front of him with a small smile on his face.
"Anyway, I can't believe the new school year is here! I' so excited!"
Sana could hear Ayame and Hiro discussing their holidays in the background, their voices trailing off as her sleepless night followed her into the day. The images and memories that clouded her night all but filled her. And despite the smile on her face, she wasn't feeling exactly chipper this morning.
She gave a brief goodbye to her friends as she ventured off to her locker and changed her shoes.
"I'm going to make you the best, Sana-chan. I promise."
A sharp tug at her heart and Sana closed her eyes. Rei's voice kept coming back, like it was haunting her. And she didn't know what to do to make it stop.
"You are the single most important thing to me."
Taking a deep breath, Sana continued to ignore his voice, his sweet comments of encouragement. Sana never wanted to forget Rei. He was the most important person to her, will always be. The impact he had on her life was something she could never repay him.
But at this moment, she really wished that the voice she longed to hear once again would just go away.
"I would say Happy New Year, but it doesn't seem like you are in the mood for conversation?" Sana turned and there was Fuka standing in front of her. Her hands were on her hips, one brow arched, and her lips not exactly positioned in a frown, but not in a smile either.
Sana offered her a small smile.
"I didn't get much sleep last night." The auburn-haired girl prayed her answer was sufficient enough to please Fuka. Because when the answer wasn't, her best friend was relentless.
Fuka scoffed, smiling at her. "That excited for the new school year term?"
Now it was Sana's turn to scoff. She shut her locker and walked in front of her, waving her hand.
"Oh yeah. I'm absolutely delighted to do another round of math again." Voice dipped in obvious sarcasm, Fuka laughed.
"Math? You?"
A new voice joined and both Sana and Fuka turned their heads and saw Aya walking up the girls with a small and sweet smile.
"I'm a turned woman, would you believe it, Aya-chan?" Sana joked and Fuka rolled her eyes.
"I'm afraid not, Sana-chan." All three girls laughed, and Sana was thankful for the presence of her friends. As much as she loved all her friends, being boy free and spending time with her girl friends was refreshing.
"Weird that you aren't stuck to Tsuyoshi's hip right now, Aya-chan." Fuka commented and the girl went red at her statement.
"I am my own person outside of Tsuyoshi-kun, you know." Even though the comment was small and had no malice intended, both girls were surprised to hear it come the sweet and shy Sugita Aya.
"Yes, we know! We just never see you without him! So, it's nice to have you all to ourselves!" Sana threw an arm around the sand brown haired girl's neck and she squealed under her.
"We need to whisk you away more often!" Fuka added as the girls walked to the gym for the entrance ceremony. Instead of going to their homerooms, all students were supposed to report to the gym for the entrance ceremony. It was there that any important announcements were made, or new teachers were introduced. Sana was sure she would doze off.
"Where is your boyfriend though?" Sana did ask because it was strange, she didn't see him this morning.
"Oh! Umm, he ran off to find Akito-san actually."
Fuka seemed surprised and began to pester Aya with questions, but Sana smiled. At the Christmas party, she had seen the two talking to one another a few times. And in their conversations, Hayama didn't seem so stand offish.
She hoped the two would reignite the friendship that was lost to them.
Actually, part of her wishes in the wish tree was for Hayama to become closer to his friends once again. So fiercely did she pray to whoever was listening to help Hayama fix the friendships that suffered in his lonely pilgrimage.
This was a good sign looking forward.
"Well I for one think it's good that those two hang out some more together. All Hayama does is read manga and well, that can never be any good for someone long term." Aya giggled and Fuka looked at her with indifference.
"I think for Tsuyoshi-kun too. As much as I loved spending time with him, I think it's good that he hangs out with other guys."
"So why now does Akito decide to be a friend to people?" Fuka asked, to no one in particular. Sana and Aya looked at one another, and Fuka seemed to be deep in thought as she folded her arms in front of her, pensively looking towards the ground.
Aya knew that Sana was aware of Hayama's and Tsuyoshi's past. After Tsuyoshi shared the painful memories, Aya found her a few days later and thanked her for the kind words she spoke to him. And for reminding him that all is not lost.
So, the look they shared was one of guilt because they knew it wasn't their place to share a story that wasn't theirs to begin with.
The crowd of students grew the closer they were to the gym. Lines began to form, and Sana began to look for her other friends like Ayame-chan, Hiro, Hisea, Mami, etc. But with all students, it was like finding a needle in a haystack.
"Oh. Tsuyoshi-kun just texted me to meet him by announcement board. He said he would wait for us there!" So, the girls followed, but Fuka was still quiet in thought.
Wanting to keep Rei's voice silent, Sana chattered excitedly with Aya, trying her best to hide her exhaustion from the sleepless night of before. They talked about their holidays and how much fun the Christmas party. Aya shared her New Year's while Sana recounted her run in with the Hayama siblings.
"So, you spent the New Year with Ayame-chan and Akito-san?" Sana could see Fuka's eyes trail up to her, her gaze burning into her.
She scratched the back of her head and laughed. "Kind of forced myself into their night out but yeah! My mama and I were with them until after we got to the shrine. Mama went home, we went to the park and then after the countdown was over, Hayama and Ayame-chan walked me home."
"You're spending an awful lot of time with Akito these days, aren't ya?" Fuka asked, her voice slightly accusatory. Sana frowned slightly.
"Well, not really purposely. We just keep running into one another. And, being friends with Ayame-chan means I see him too."
Fuka didn't say anything, her eyes trailing away, the squeaking of her walking boot filling their awkward silence. Aya looked at her with concern and Sana shrugged her shoulders, not knowing what else to say.
If anything, Fuka sounded… jealous?
Sana stole a glance, watching the indifference in Fuka's demeanor.
She remembered teasing her about having feelings for Hayama way back then, but that was months ago. Could Fuka actually harbor feelings for the Lone Wolf? Fuka had sworn off men after Takaishi, promised to never let her heart be taken again.
If she really did like Hayama, what exactly about him attracted her to him? It definitely couldn't have been his charming attitude and dazzling smile… she snickered at that thought inwardly. He was attractive sure. Not many people had the striking golden-brown eyes he had, and sure he was built strongly from his former karate training. And he was tall and had that dark and mysterious broodiness to him.
Okay.
So, maybe she could see the appeal.
But, Hayama was so earth shatteringly different from Yuta Takaishi. Where Yuta was loved and adored by many because of his humor and gentleness, Hayama was avoided due to his broody nature and the menacing look in his eyes. Yuta treated everyone with a warm smile and always went out of his way to help others where Hayama only ever looked out for himself (or so it seemed).
If anything, she felt like Fuka should be more attracted to Akimoto Hiro than Hayama. Yuta and Hiro shared more of the same qualities!
But then it dawned on Sana.
Maybe that's why she liked Hayama.
Because he was so remotely different from Yuta Takaishi there was no way she would be reminded by him in the things that Hayama did.
Her heart fell at the thought.
At this point, Aya struck conversation with Fuka. And they didn't noticed Sana slow down and watch her longtime friend from behind.
Fuka loved Yuta. She loved him so much that she allowed him into her heart. Yuta made her better. He pushed her to open herself up, to allow people in. He showed her that not everyone was callous and cold, not patronizing and pushing of their agenda. He showed her how to smile without a worry in the world.
Sana wished that there was something she could do, something she could say to make amends between the two. For Fuka to understand that it was all just a big misunderstanding. That Yuta would never think to break her heart the way she thought.
But her friend wouldn't hear it.
"I don't want to hear it."
"I've moved on."
"I don't want to let that cheater back into my life."
And poor Yuta was killing himself after their torturous break up that circled the school like wildfire. After Fuka moved, Sana was left to pick up the pieces of himself. He begged Sana to talk to Fuka, let her know that he didn't do anything.
"Please Sana. Please. Tell her it wasn't what she thought! I would never hurt her! I would never do something so cruel. I love her."
And it wasn't that she didn't try. Because she did.
Fuka just didn't want to hear it anymore. And Yuta stopped asking.
Eventually, they moved on. Fuka was in Tokyo and Yuta stayed in Osaka living two different lives. And Sana was just stuck in the middle of it all.
Sana did wonder… was Fuka still in love with Yuta? At all? If things were explained, the waters cleared, and the bad blood purified, would she jump back into his arms?
It was selfish for Sana to think though.
What if Yuta had moved on already, though? What if he was with someone else who made him happy, if not happier than Fuka ever made him? Who was she to take that happiness away from him? And if that was the case, Fuka would re-live the pain of losing him all over again.
"There you are." Sana heard Tsuyoshi say as he greeted Aya with a small peck to her cheek. He waved to Fuka and herself.
"Where's Akito-san?" Aya asked but Tsuyoshi answered with a nervous laugh.
In the best imitation voice and face, the glass eyed boy answered with, "Did not feel like wasting my time with these stupid things."
All three girls laughed.
Though, Sana could not blame Hayama. A ceremony with long speeches did not seem particularly entertaining. Especially since they just stand and listen with no participation. If anything, it would allow for her to get into her own head.
As the four grabbed some seats towards the back, Sana couldn't help but feel a little overwhelmed by this all. Maybe it was her deprivation of sleep or maybe it was this restlessness that she couldn't contain.
Rei's voice and the memories of him had quieted down for now. And she hoped they wouldn't come back.
When Principal Nara Nara introduced himself, the entire student body clapped. Some cheered. The principal was a respected man. The students loved him and his carefree attitude. Rumors were that some of the teachers weren't fond of his laxed attitude and some even tried to have him replaced. But, with constant support from the students and most of the teachers in the school, Principal Nara Nara remained at the top.
Sana droned him out, her mind jumping from topic to topic. What was the cafeteria going to serve today? What would Shimura make them for dinner tonight? Would the new material in her classes be difficult? How badly was she going to struggle in math this year?
Why did she dream about Rei last night?
Throat constricting, Sana felt her heart drop into her stomach. It was too early in the year for her to be feeling like this, so self-deprecating and full of guilt and regret. Lacing her fingers together, Sana closed her eyes and tried to erase him from her mind.
But that just made it all the worse as memories showered her, images from her past that piled on top of one another. His voice filling his mind, showering her with love and praises.
Stop it.
Please, stop this.
"Sana-chan. I love you."
STOP IT, PLEASE.
As if the Gods were listening to her prayer, Sana started to violently shake. Whatever thoughts she had, dissipated and she was standing, well shaking, like she was subdued in freezing waters. Both Aya and Fuka raised a brow, confused obviously be her sudden shaking.
But then it stopped.
And Sana was able to regain her balance again.
What in the world was that?
The shaking began again, and her arms were stretched out as she tried to control the vibration coming from her. Now, other students around her were giving her weird looks and she felt the heat rise to her cheeks. The shaking stopped and Sana muttered a quick apology.
"Are you okay?" Fuka whispered harshly.
"Uh, yeah! Just cold!" She responded but Fuka snorted.
Sana reached into her book bag and pulled open the flap. Her eyes went wide as a familiar blue device leaned against her notebook.
Of course! The Burutcha!
Her brows knitted together as she reached down and finger the blue device softly, confused by the sudden activation… why now? All of a su-
And then it hit her.
She gave Hayama the other Burutcha for his birthday.
He had the other half.
Hayama Akito was the one buzzing her.
Like lightening, Sana flipped her book bag closed and hurriedly pulled it over her shoulders. Looking back at her friends, she stuttered a quick "bathroom!" and hastily moved across the chairs and out the gym.
The door closed slowly behind her, but Sana was frantically turning her head in all directions, looking for the boy who was at the other end of this device. Pulling out her phone, she pulled his contact information and pressed the call button.
The phone rang once and then she heard the click.
"Around the stairwell, idiot."
At the sound of his instructions, holding the phone to her ear, she turned the corner and down the hall a few steps more. The stairwell came into view and there he was, leaning against the railing without a care in the world.
"Took you long enough."
She opened her mouth, for some sort of reply. But the words were caught in her throat. She couldn't get the words out, anyway. They stood there, staring at one another in silence for just a few moments.
And then Sana took a step forward.
"Yo-You pressed the Burutcha."
"I did."
"Why?"
Instead of answering her, he took a few steps up the stairwell. Sana frowned and took a step further, lips pursed in slight annoyance. Her mouth opened; a slew of words ready to fire at him.
But Hayama stopped in his step and looked back at her with his golden-brown eyes. The very same golden-brown eyes she had just complimented in her mind not too long ago. The same golden-brown eyes that suddenly captivated her, paralyzed her in her step.
How did he do that?
The blonde nudged his head forward as if he wanted her to… follow him?
Hayama didn't give her long to reply as he was already turned and climbing up the stairs again. He was already turning the corner when Sana realized he was leaving her behind. She shook her head and followed after him, catching the lone wolf quickly.
When they made it to the second floor of the school, he began to lead them down the hallway.
"Hey, wait a minute. Where are we going?"
And he still didn't answer, his book bag hanging over his shoulders and hands tucked into the pockets of his school uniform. Annoyance crossed her face as he remained mute.
"You pressed the Burutcha." She stated again, accusingly.
"Thought we made that clear already." The jerk finally responded with his typical callus remarks.
"And yet you still didn't answer why."
Why?
She was asking him why?
He would really like to know the answer to that himself.
But, after Tsuyoshi jokingly chastised him about missing yet another entrance ceremony and starting the year off on a great note, Akito entered the gym minutes before the ceremony started.
Coincidentally, he was standing not too far from his friend and the girls. And the closest was Kurata Sana standing towards the end of the row. After her change of face this morning, something was tugging at his chest since he left his sister to attend to Kurata. There was a nagging feeling in his stomach, the same one that always told him something was wrong.
The same one that told him his mother was dead after he woke up from the accident.
He watched her, his eyes never leaving her. And he watched as her shoulders tensed at her sides and the hand balled into a fist. He watched as she looked down towards the floor and screwed her eyes shut, hoping that her hair could hide her from the world around her.
That annoying tug at his chest was now gnawing at him and he didn't realize how deep the glare on his face was until the person next to him moved further away.
Something's not right.
His thoughts and the actions of his body were not in sync as his hand was now on his belt, his thumb pressing down on the button behind the stupid bat figure. She began to shake vigorously that it even surprised him.
So, that's how it works.
She shook for a few seconds, breaking her out of whatever she was in just moments ago. This gathered the attention from Aya and Fuka, and Akito knew that was his chance to walk out, hoping she would follow.
Which lead them to now, where she continued to pester him with questions of why? And what? And where are we going?
Turning to face her, he could tell he caught her by surprise. She backed a step, two.
"You look like hell." Akito finally commented.
Her confusion turned into anger as her face contorted into a glare and she crossed her hands in front of her.
"You buzzed because I look like hell?" Her voice went one pitch higher and she started tapping her foot, obviously not pleased with his answer.
He shrugged his shoulders and was going to continue his journey to their eventual destination (if they ever got there). But a hand grabbed at his tricep and she clamped down with an iron tight grip and pulled him back – where the hell did she get that strength? – grabbing him by the front of his shirt and down towards her.
"Nah uh. Not a good enough answer." Her face was just a few inches away and he could see right into her hazel eyes and suddenly his neck felt a few degrees hotter and his mouth went dry. Did Kurata's eyes always burn with such a ferocity and passion? And if they did, why did they look more burnt out today than before?
Grabbing her wrist, he pulled her hand off his shirt.
"Just trust me." He wasn't offering much, he knew. After all, Akito wasn't a man of many words.
But that was enough to dissipate the anger in her eyes as they went wide eyed and her mouth opened slightly from the words he spoke.
Akito released the grip on her wrist and Sana pulled away from his arm.
"Okay?" He asked cautiously. She still stared at him with confusion and now crossed her arms in front of her, biting down on her lip.
"Okay then… lead the way." He sighed in relief, not in the mood to fight her.
Their constant griping at one another had become a normalcy in their daily routine; so much that even others have commented on it.
Today, he didn't think they both had the energy to fully engage.
As they walked silently down the hall, Kurata's eyes burning into the back of his head, Akito smirked as the door fell into view.
Twisting his head to face her, he smirked as he grabbed the doorknob. Kurata arched her brow and tried to look over his shoulder.
"Where are we?"
"You'll see." Was all he said as he opened the door. When the door opened, it revealed a janitor's closet full of cleaning supplies, brooms, mops, trash bags and cans, etc.
"It's… a janitor's closet." The disappointment in her voice was obvious as the gleam in her eyes previously was gone. "Hayama… this is a janitor's closet."
Akito ignored her as he walked in and past all the supplies that lined the room. He pushed aside some drapes, a hose, and a trash can filled with other trash cans.
"Okay, buddy. I don't know what you're doing but this is kind of freaking me out." She continued to blabber, but he continued to drone her out as he gave one final push of the trash can he purposely placed.
"So, I think I'm going to go back now – holy shit, what are you doing!?" The pitch in her voice increased again, higher than before. Akito looked over his shoulder for a minute and found her eyes wide as saucers and a finger pointing at the door in front of him.
"Maybe if you shut up for a minute, I would be able to explain."
She shut her mouth quickly.
"Close the door. And just follow me." She did as he instructed her and opened the door in front of him. He felt for the light switch to his left and flicked the lights on.
She grabbed him by his arm for leverage as she adjusted to the lighting of this random room. He gave her his hand and helped her through. She muttered a quick thanks.
When Kurata was standing at his side, he went back into the closet and pulled the trash can back into blocking view, hiding this secret that's been with him since he started high school. Akito shut the door and turned to see Kurata walking around the now abandoned dance studio/drama club storage.
"Hayama… what is this place?"
"My secret spot." Turning towards him, she arched her brow.
"Your secret… spot?" Rolling his eyes, he nodded.
She giggled and his chest felt tight. "Like the secret spot in the park?"
His cheeks suddenly felt really warm.
"Yeah, okay. Whatever. Laugh all you want." Akito walked over to the mats piled in front of the mirror from what used to be a dance/work out studio. He sat down, leaning his head back against the cool surface of the mirror.
The floors were dirty and covered in dust with the mirror stained from a lack of a proper cleaning. Though, the air didn't feel too musty; most likely due to the windows he opened this morning before the ceremony.
Kurata took a spot next to him, dropping her school bag to the floor.
"After my mom died during my first year, all I wanted was to be left alone." Bending his left leg at the knee, he rested his left arm on top, the other folded Indian style. He tapped the fingers of his right hand against his thigh.
"Too bad at school, there's no such thing." Kurata snorted.
"So, you went into the janitors closet to find it?" She was teasing him, and he knew it.
He glared and flicked her in the middle of her forehead. Kurata made a small cry of pain, hands immediately rubbing at the red mark he left.
"Meanie… I was just teasing."
Akito rolled his eyes.
"Long story short, one of the janitors took pity on me and showed me this place. Said it used to be the old dance/work out studio in the 80's and 90's." Kurata was laying her chin in the palms of her hands as her elbows rested on her knees. She was nodding to his story.
"They stopped using this one and obviously opened up the one connected to the gym. Drama club started using it for storage until the school decided they wanted to use the front room as a janitor closet. That's when they attempted to seal it."
He smirked at her.
"Obviously it didn't work."
"So, you come here when you want to be alone?" She asked.
"Or when I need to think."
Kurata leaned back against the mirror, her fingers laced together again. Her eyes went far off again, staring at nothing in particular.
"You're sharing your secret spot with me?" Her voice was small now, the grip of her fingers tight around themselves. The whisper in her voice was light, quiet. Nothing like what Kurata was at all.
In truth, he didn't think to share this spot with her. He didn't share it with anyone. It was his and his alone. He came here more often then he would like to admit it. In the last three years, he came here to fought with his demons, shout at the voices that haunted him, that tortured him every day.
More often than not, he was sitting in this exact position, cradling his head in his hands, begging for the mantras and spiteful words to stop. Akito would pass out from the pressure he placed on himself at times, waking up minutes later or sometimes hours later.
But, when he saw Kurata standing with an intensity and rigidity in her body stature and her eyes scrunched together in pain with her head towards the floor, this was the first place he thought she needed to come.
"If you need a place to think." He responded in a low, gruff voice that didn't quite come out in a whisper but more of a croak. "Or..."
"… a place to be alone." She finished for him.
The back of his neck was burning again, a deep and intense fire that scalded him, feeling so hot that he thought his hand would be seared from just one tap.
"Thank you." He spared a quick glance, watching as she smiled into her knees that were entrapped by her arms. Her words were muffled but she looked so much more relaxed than when he saw her earlier.
That gnawing at his chest began to disappear and the tugging in his stomach began to settle.
"Yeah well, don't tell anyone." Uncomfortable by the sudden softness in the mood, he threatened her (though, it really wasn't a threat).
"You got it, captain." And now she was grinning at him with the stupid smile that literally brightened everyone's mood the moment she walked into a room and he could see the soft crinkles in her eyes and the way her cheeks lifted and –
Dammit.
What the hell was wrong with him?
They settled into comfortable silence that he greeted graciously. Ever since Christmas, he felt strange around Kurata. Emotions he'd never felt and actions he'd never done were commonly occurring. Thoughts and feelings that he had thought he locked away were sneaking their way back.
Something about Kurata left him on edge. He could never just ignore her like he did with others. She was infectious in the way she lifted people's spirits. She brought lots of comfort to the people around her and helped them forget about their own worries with her smile.
From the moment she learned the truth about his past, Kurata accepted him for who he was without any subjective thoughts… well mostly non-subjective. The girl had no issue verbalizing her thoughts on him and what she felt. But, Kurata wasn't frivolous with him and didn't treat him with the same disappointing glare that others did.
She – she was unlike anyone he knew.
"I couldn't sleep last night." She disclosed with him. Her eyes seemed lost in thought as the words softly left her lips. There was that stare again, eyes seeming distant and lost with the dark, bluish taint of her skin under her eyes.
She looked even more tired than this morning.
"I- I kept having this nightmare."
Akito never thought this girl was capable of a voice so small, so breathy and lull. She sounded like a small girl, who was being punished for a wrongdoing. But here she was, showing a vulnerability to him that made him uncomfortable.
If there was anything he understood though, it was nightmares.
"Sometimes screaming shut up helps."
She stifled a laugh.
"Was... was that a joke?"
… Maybe it was.
The blond reached for the back of his neck, rubbing tightly at the nape area. He swallowed the lump in his throat, not daring to look at her. Especially with the heat suddenly rising to his cheeks and his neck feeling so hot still.
"You were making a joke." Kurata said pointedly, the corners of her lips tugging upward.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Defending himself, he shrugged her away.
A sputtering laughter rose from her, one that engulfed the entire room. Kurata was clutching her stomach, tears kissing the corner of her eyes as she fell to her left. He arched a brow as her raucous laughter left her unmovable in her form.
"It's not that funny." His voice intending to sound harden, but definitely came out more as a helpless huff.
She waved at him as she continued to laugh, though the turbulent sound in the gesture definitely decreased. "It-it's not the joke, trust me!"
Was that supposed to be an insult?
Her laughter died out, just spouts of snorts and heaving chuckles now coming from her. She gave a long sigh as she pushed herself up, tear streaks at her cheeks. She wiped them away, the grin on her face shining bright.
"Thank you. For cheering me up."
Akito didn't know what it was about her smile. But lately, every time he saw it, it made his chest tighten to a point where his lungs were pressed for re-expansion.
"Yeah well, you just looked like you were going to collapse any second. Didn't need to hear you complaining throughout the entirety of the day." He mumbled, stringing whatever words together that came to mind.
"Right, right." It was like she was teasing him, as she sang the words with playful mischief.
The blond stood, walking around the former dance studio/drama club storage. He could feel Kurata's eyes on him. "Look, we have about another 40 minutes until the entrance ceremony is over. Why don't you do us both a favor and take a nap or something."
She didn't reply at first, her silence making him quite uncomfortable. He didn't want to face her, not with these thoughts in his mind. His traitorous thoughts could break his stoned mask that he had molded into perfection.
At least, with her it could.
Kurata seemed to be able to break through the tightly sealed walls these days.
"You – you don't mind?"
At her question, he turned to her, looking at her with incredulous eyes. Out of all the things she had asked of him, all her impossible request, all her intrusive and meddlesome questions, her want to sleep is what she becomes warry of?
He snorted, loudly.
"Trust me, Kurata. You sleeping will be the last thing that bothers me."
It was meant to be insulting, meant to cause her annoyance and pour fuel into the already lit fire that usually stood between them. But as he mentioned earlier, they both didn't have the resolve nor energy to quarrel at the magnitude that attracted others.
She just smiled and laid across the mats, stuffing her book bag under her head and fluttered her eyes closed.
But not before locking her hazel eyes with his golden-brown ones.
Her eyes spoke two words.
Two words that managed to grope around his heart and leave him feeling breathless. Two words that he had heard from her before, but never like this. Two words that broke a layer of ice around his ice; the ice crashing into a pool of water, melting under her penetrating gaze.
Thank you.
Within minutes, Kurata was sound asleep and Akito was left in silence to deal with the deafening pounding of his heart.
-O-
When Sana woke up, she felt infinitely better.
Rei's voice was gone, and so were the dreams. She really couldn't recall what exactly she dreamed about, but whatever it was, it allowed her to feel rested enough to continue on with her day.
Crazy how these 40 minutes of sleep were better than the 3-4 hours she had gotten last night were.
She was slow to wake, rubbing at her head and straining out the tweak in her neck from the uncomfortable bumps in her school bag. But, once she regained more consciousness and the slight spinning in her head deceased, she found herself looking for Hayama.
Hayama, who brought her here.
Hayama, who up until just a few months ago, looked at everyone around him in disdain.
Hayama, who cared enough about her or their friendship – whatever the case was – that he opened himself once more and allowed her into a part of his life that he hesitated to ever share.
Obviously, he didn't go far, there was only so much room in here. But he was laying on the other side of the room, his head propped up against his book bag and school jacket rumpled under his neck. His headphones were in and a manga was capturing his attention.
It was so interesting, seeing him like this, so lazed and relaxed, without a care in the world.
She saw an old, dusted medicine ball to her right. She grabbed the thing from its place and blew away the resting dust it had collected. Hayama hadn't hear her get up and she smiled. She sat back down; the ball placed in between her now spread legs. With a heavy push of her arms, Sana rolled the medicine ball towards him, watching as it made its way across the room, picking up speed as it made its journey across.
Where it landed at his leg, not so much smacking but softly rolling into the leg that laid out on the floor.
Sana watched as Hayama's eyes traveled from his manga down to the ball, then up to her. When he switched his gaze to her, she gave a grin and wave. He sighed, closing his manga and pulling out his headphones.
"What are you? 5 years old?" He asked.
Except, there was haughtiness in his tone, or even the patronizing tone he would sometimes get with her.
She crossed her arms and pouted.
Another roll of the eyes.
But they didn't say much of anything else as he stood and stretched some. Sana watched as he rolled his shoulder a few times, the slight wince in his eyes when stretched his right shoulder. Confusion as another grimace and then an audible hiss at the continued stretching movements.
"Did you hurt yourself?" Now she was curious, also obviously concerned by this newfound pain he was suddenly in.
He threw a glare her way, a glare that she had seen plenty of times before.
Mind your business.
That's what it always told her. Always.
What good was that going to do? When did she ever mind her business, anyway?
She grabbed her stuff and walked hastily across the room, only a few short feet away from him. He didn't take kind to her sudden gesture and proceeded to glower at her more.
"What's with the sudden attitude? I just asked you a question."
"I don't like your meddlesome questions."
It was Sana's turn to glare as she put her hands on her hips, watching as the blond shoved his manga back in his book bag, and hurriedly tried to put his coat jacket back on his shoulders.
But in his haste, he hissed again in pain, dropping his right shoulder at his side, eyes tight shut, teeth grinding down. He dropped his book bag to the floor and turned away from her.
Sana dropped both her book bag and jacket and took the three, four steps to reach him, reaching for his shoulder. The auburn-haired girl reached for his shoulder and Hayama immediately grabbed her hand, his grip tight around it.
Ready to fight him, she stopped as their eyes locked on one another for what seemed to be the umpteenth time today.
Their faces were a few inches from one another; close enough to where she could see the lining of his face, a faint scar above his right eyebrow, the dryness of his lips, subtle blonde hairs on his chin. She could also see the intense pain in his eyes and the unsettled grimace at his mouth with the wrinkles at the corners.
Pain, he was in an incredulous amount of pain.
"Leave it." He hissed.
She hardened her glare, her hand pushing forward.
"Stop being difficult. I can tell you're in pain."
He pushed back, his strength overcoming hers easily.
"I said leave. It."
"And I said no."
And there they stood, scowling at one another, neither willing to stand down from their interlocked gaze and their clasped hands. At some point, Sana's right hand was clutching the front of his school shirt, rumpling the fabric under her grip while Hayama's left hand was clasped at her right shoulder, attempting to push her back.
"Just leave me be, dammit!" He pushed again, but Sana stood firm in her hold and stance.
"You can refuse to help yourself, but I won't allow you to walk back out there until we do something about this. Because obviously, this is seriously hurting you!"
The tone in their voices increased and now they proceeded to shout at one another, faces closer than before to where Sana could feel the angry huffing of his warm breath. His eyes were furious and full of indignation.
If they didn't quiet down, someone would definitely hear.
"This is always painful, okay! There isn't anything you can do about this!" He yelled at her, this time pushing her with enough force that she nearly toppled backwards over her school bag and jacket. She yelped as she caught herself before completely falling on her back.
For a moment, she saw his eyes go wide, realizing what he had done.
But it was just for a moment, because back were those dark brewed eyes and knitted brows. He sighed roughly, rubbing his forehead and then running the same hand through his hair.
Sana took a moment to catch her breathe.
Whatever this was… it was really bothering him.
"Look. This… this is my burden, okay?"
When he looked at her, Sana almost gasped at the intensity of his eyes. An intensity so greatly wrapped in sadness and despair that it almost brought tears into her own. A swirling vortex of regret and guilt, a great pull of gravity that she felt so deeply in her heart. An emotion that she could share with him, a feeling that she knew all too well.
There was no further explanation, no further devotion to the topic. He pulled away from her and grabbed his stuff from the floor.
As for Sana, she was stuck firmly in place, trying to decipher through those feelings he had given her a glimpse of.
Ayame had recounted enough of their past to know that Hayama felt guilty over the death of their mother, that his father blamed him, branded him a murderer, for the tragedy that came upon them that day.
But just how deep did his guilt run? What else did he have to be so guilty of?
She knew there was more to Hayama Akito then what she currently knew. She knew that the more he opened up, the more mysterious he became. When Sana felt like she unlocked a new secret, something new presented itself.
How much hurt did he take on in his life?
"Here." Hayama's words penetrated through her thoughts and she blinked. Looking down, her school jacket and school bag were in his hand.
A gift of truce.
Sana grabbed the idly, her mind swirling with all her thoughts.
"The entrance ceremony should be ending right about now. I'm going to make sure that no one has walked out this way yet." He said as he opened the door, and pushed the stacked trash cans aside, painful shoulder and all.
"Why can't we just both go out together?"
Clearly, she didn't think that question through as he looked at her with this deadpanned look that made her feel incredibly dumb. He hadn't even answered her question yet.
"How do you think it will look if you and I are caught sneaking out of the janitor's closet while everyone else was at the entrance ceremony?"
Sana's cheeks flared intensely, and she clamped her mouth shut.
Point taken.
He rolled his eyes and urged her to follow him into the closet, but not before shutting the lights off, shutting the door, pulling the stacked trash cans back in front of that same door and crossing the drapes in front.
Hayama went to the door and grabbed the knob. The blond twisted his head to look back at her.
"I'll let you know when were clear."
She nodded her head, silent as a sheep.
Opening the door, he poked out his head, turning left and right, scouting the hallway for any students. He stepped out, one foot at a time. It seemed to her that the hallway was clear from his actions, but one could never be too sure.
The last thing she needed was for a stupid rumor about her and Hayama walking out of the janitor's closet together to be spread through school. She didn't care about the people at school nor what they thought of her.
What she did care about though was the reactions from her friends. While she could easily clear her name and explain why she had been in there with him in the first place, it would not only reveal Hayama's secret spot to everyone, it would take away that part of her friendship she shared with him and him alone.
Call her selfish, but she had worked hard to get where she was with him.
"Okay we're clear." And he ushered her out of the closet. The moment she was out, he closed the janitors closet door quickly behind her.
"So now what?" She asked, the adrenaline running in her. What other adventures could they engage in? What other mischief could they play into?
"What do you mean, now what?" Hayama was staring at her with that incredulous look in his eyes again; the one's that usually meant how stupid are you?
"We go to class now, idiot."
She scowled, not appreciating his demeaning comment.
"But-"
"But what?" He was now raising a brow at her comment, obviously confused by her sudden questioning. Sana found that rather rude. Didn't he have that sense of adventure? Didn't he get that need that school was not in the cards for them today?
How was it that the day felt so long when really only a few hours transpired between their arrival and the end of the entrance ceremony? She felt like so much time passed.
Deflated, she sighed.
"Nothing. I guess I forgot how much time has really passed." She mumbled, and Hayama stuffed his hands in his pocket, turning away from her.
"Can't help you there. Your own memory, or rather lack of, is your issue entirely."
And back were the insults.
And here she was thinking that Hayama Akito was a nice guy.
Nice guy, my ass!
A swift swing of her hammer across the head reminded him dolefully who he was talking to as she turned with a piercing glare etched in his eyes, a scowl so frightening that the students who began to loiter the halls were too afraid to come near the battlefield.
"You are so rude!"
"And you are so damn annoying!"
And that's how Tsuyoshi, Aya, and Fuka found the now volatile duo, with heaving breathes and marks and scratches and messy hair from the obvious running and jumping and swatting of Sana's toy hammer and Akito's rusty karate moves that he may or may have not used on her.
The new year was off to a great start.
A/N: Before I delve into the author's notes, I just want to say thank you to the few readers that have been so utterly loyal from chapter 1 till now. You have watched my writing change (improved!) and basically have been with me for most of the decade! Though we do not know one another, i feel like some of you have become some of my closest friends with your constant words of encouragement for this story. You have all been so incredibly patient over the last 7 years. And while I dont know when this story will finish, it is my every intention to finish it. So thank you. Thank you for reading my story and laughing, and crying, and enjoying it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I really hope 2020 brings you much all happiness!
As for the story itself, I dug through the manga and took scenes straight from the canon story with my own twist. Most of Sana's memories are directly from the canon story line with obvious inclusion from me sprinkled in. That's how I try to center much of the story. Take the canon moments from the original work and give it my own spin. Sometimes straight from the manga/anime, sometimes not. So I hope that doesn't bother anyone too much.
Sana's backstory is here and oh I am so excited. Guys, i have been waiting for this for a LONG time. Like long time. Because now is when all the GOOD stuff starts. Sana and Akito's journey is about to get that much more exciting, I promise. And the drama is about to get that much sweeter.
I hope you are all ready for 2020 because it's about to go down with Life As We Know It.
See everyone in 2020!
Dark Waffle