A/N: Happy New Year, my friends! Wow, I cannot believe that it is 2022. Crazy how time just FLIES. 2023 will be the ten year anniversary of this story and I can hardly believe I've been working on this since 2013. One of my New Year Goals is to publish a chapter a month, if not more. I think it would be kind of cool to finish this story sometime next year around the ten year mark. A special thank you for those who have been around so long, especially those that may have been here since the beginning!

This is probably one of my favorite chapters to date. Lots of good here :) Without further ado!

Chapter 40: Where Dreams Don't Mean a Thing

There was a light breeze, and she could feel the wind tickle the tips of her ears as the autumn weather began to sit. The sun was still warm enough though for her to play outside though. It was just her and her mama, so she often played house by herself with her toys. Sometimes she would try to get her mama to play with her, but she always said she was too busy.

Sana didn't mind though.

She was imaginative enough that she was able to create her own worlds with her trusty friends.

Sana looked behind her into the big kitchen window, where her mama was standing in front of. She frowned, thinking about how sad her mama had been lately.

Her mama had been crying a lot, not being able to get out of bed. Sana tried to get her up a few times, but it was almost impossible. Her mama said nothing and weighed a lot.

So, Sana took initiative and did for herself, including cooking and bathing.

One time though, she did burn her hand on the stove. That hurt a lot.

Sana figured if maybe she picked some flowers from the small garden, maybe that would put a smile on her mama's face? She grinned brightly, running over to the small flower bed and grabbed the prettiest flowers she could find.

Excited to make her mama smile, Sana ran through the backyard and burst through the door.

"Mama! Mama! Look what I got for you!" The young girl ran up to her mother, who was sitting at their small dining table.

It took a moment for her mother to respond, but she slowly moved her head towards her and looked down at Sana.

Her eyes were empty and dull, as they had been for a while now. Her eyes slowly turned towards the flowers in Sana's hand.

"I got you some flowers! To cheer you up!" She said excitedly, jumping in her step.

The young woman attempted a small smile, Sana's growing bigger and bigger.

"Oh Sana-chan. These are lovely." Her tone of voice matched that of her eyes, dead and lifeless.

Her mama so gingerly grabbed the flowers from her hands and placed them on the table. But then, she did something different. Her mama scooted away from the table in the chair, and then kneeled on the floor, grabbing Sana by her shoulders.

It was then she started to cry.

"You are such a good girl, Sana-chan. Such a good girl." Her mother began to sob and wrapped her arms around her tiny form. "I love you so much, so much."

The young, auburn-haired girl stood, frozen, not sure why her mother suddenly wailed in sadness. In her mother's embrace and sorrowful tears, Sana began to cry. She didn't know why, but something about her mother's hug felt like goodbye.

.

She woke up with a heavy gasp.

Sitting straight up in her bed, she felt a heaviness in her heart, accompanied by a shattering pain. Her eyes were wide as the horrible memories of her past filled her dreams. She clenched the front of her t-shirt, anxiety filling her.

Why now?

Screwing her eyes shut, Sana tried to think of all the good and happy memories in her life. She thought of her mama, Rei, Shimura, her friends… anyone who made her happy.

Grabbing her pillow, she clutched it close to her body, holding onto it for dear life. She screwed her eyes shut in hopes of total darkness versus the memories of her past life.

Please. Go AWAY.

It was only partially helping as she the images of her biological mother blurred, and the faded memories began to distort in her mind.

She clutched onto the pillow for dear life, her safety blanket for the haunted memories of her past.

Sana could still hear the broken sobs, feel the tight grip and sinking nails in her shoulders. She could still feel the wetness on her cheeks, her biological mother's wallowing cries that left her cold. Even in an embrace so tight, her mother felt so distant from her.

What am I doing?

For weeks now, her dreams were filled with unwanted memories, the reenactment of her biological mother leaving her behind. And she didn't understand why.

But for whatever reason, it was happening, and it was affecting her at school, her ability to stay awake during class, her practicing, and the relationships with the people around her. Sana had been on a short fuse, especially with Hayama. They were fighting more often, and it was getting to where they couldn't be around one another anymore.

Not only that, but she had yet to confront Hiro and his confession.

Since he told her that he loved her, Sana had avoided him like the plague.

It messed her all up. Why did he have to go and confess like that? They were better as friends! At least, that was what she had thought. Was their entire friendship a lie? Was it all romantic and she just didn't see it?

What was love anyway?

The only love she had ever known as always taken away from her.

She was tired of losing things she loved.

Yawning, Sana looked over at her nightstand, her clock reading 3:34am. Groaning, she laid back onto the bed, glaring up at the ceiling of her bedroom.

When did life get so difficult?

She rolled over in bed, laying on her side, her mind wide awake thanks to her plaguing nightmares. Staring at nothing, Sana tried shutting her eyes in hopes of going back to sleep. But the moment she did that, those images resurfaced.

Opening her eyes, she groaned louder, burying her face into her pillow. Looking back at her nightstand, the Burutcha was sitting there.

Sana reached for it, her hand hovering above it, but not grabbing it completely.

She bit her lip.

"I shouldn't." She whispered to herself. "it's 3:30 in the morning."

"If you need a shoulder to cry on, then you can come to me."

His words echoed in her mind, and she bit down on her lip even harder. Snatching the Burutcha, she stared at it, her thumb hovering over the button.

"Gah! No! I can't! We're fighting!" She laid it on the bed next to her, thinking of how weird things had gotten. They had gone from being awkward around one another to almost biting each other's heads off in a matter of days.

But weirdly enough, it all started after Sana confided in him about Hiro's confession.

.

Hayama stared at her blankly, his face void of emotion.

"Well? Say something!" She urged him, waiting for some type of response.

But his eyes were stone like, and it was difficult to get a read on them, which was odd. Lately, she felt like she was able to read him quite well.

They had buried the hatchet about the whole play thing, that awkwardness dissolving and them going back to their regular bickering and quarreling. But a big part in that was Sana needing Hayama to be her "Fuka," in a sense.

There was no way she could go to any of her other friends about Hiro's confession. And as much as she loved Ayame, things were too messy and complicated with her being Hayama's younger sister. So, Hayama was the only person she felt like she could trust.

"You're that dumb, aren't you?"

Sana's jaw dropped.

Well, that wasn't what she really expected him to say.

She glared immediately and crossed her arms.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" She shouted at him. "I'm confiding in you on something really personal and that's how you choose to answer?!"

Hayama then glared, his entire countenance shifting, and Sana realized how standoff-ish he felt at this moment. For whatever reason, he was angry.

"That idiot has been in love with you for months now, and you just saw it?"

Her eyes went wide, words lost on her tongue. Even Hayama knew?

"You knew too? Why didn't you say anything!" She asked, desperate to know why she was the only one who didn't see it.

"Everyone knew. You were just too dense. And It's not my place to say anything, that's why."

Sana felt like she was punched in the gut. How did she not see it? If all the signs were there, how did she not recognize them?

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" She asked, genuinely. Sana looked towards Hayama, who again, seemed closed off and… guarded? What the heck?

"You're seriously asking me that?" He asked, his voice slightly on edge. "What does anyone do with a confession? Answer them."

Dread filled her. Answer the confession? With what?

In this moment, she wished she had Fuka. Because Hayama clearly didn't know spit about being confessed too and his attitude turned for the worst.

"Answer them… So, telling Hiro if I love him too?" The words were heavy on her lips, and her mouth dried. Sana looked up to Hayama, but he was facing away from her.

"If that's what you feel." He said sternly, and Sana glowered. She really had enough of him and his sour attitude.

"Hey now! I've had quite enough of you and this snarky attitude you've been giving me." Sana marched up to him and grabbed the front of his shirt. She locked eyes with him and saw the walls up again.

"What's with you, huh?!"

Hayama grabbed her hand. "Screw off, Kurata."

Sana was taken aback, having not heard a phrase said like that in that voice in months.

"This attitude isn't exactly what I need right now, you know."

She really wasn't prepared for the words that came out of his mouth next, but Sana was sure that the bite that followed hurt like hell.

"I'm sure whatever you need, Hiro could give it to you."

.

They hadn't spoken since then.

And that was at least a week ago.

The Burutcha was laying down next to her and her finger hovered just above. She swallowed hard and removed her finger. Grabbing it, she turned to the other side of the bed with it, staring at it like it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

Her thumb fingered the button, her eyes focused solely on the inanimate object.

"No. He was a jerk." She dropped it.

Then picked it up again.

"But he did say…"

Then the words circled in her head again, filled with spite.

Sana dropped the Burutcha.

"No. Screw him. He's an insensitive ass!"

But the aching in her heart remained. And she desperately needed a distraction.

Her finger hovered again, close enough where just enough pressure would do the trick.

"Do I…?" She pondered and her finger began to feel heavy.

Sana took a deep breath and pressed.

Going wide eyed, she dropped the Burutcha, gasping.

"Oh shit." She cursed, not believing that she pressed the button.

"Oh, he's going to kill me!" She muttered to herself as she painstakingly waited for a response.

But after one, then two, then three minutes went by went without response, she glared.

"He didn't answer!?" Sana harsh whispered.

"Well, technically, Sana it is 345 in the morning so maybe that's why, you idiot!" She chastised herself, smacking herself in the forehead.

"But maybe, he thinks it's a joke?" She thought to herself. Yeah, if he's sleeping, he could think it's a joke! "Maybe I'll press one more time."

So, she did.

And she waited, and waited, and waited.

Until finally, she huffed and shook her head.

"That was a waste of time! Of course, he's sleeping like any smart person would be doing right now!" Sana grabbed the Burutcha and set on her nightstand.

But before she could turn around to go to sleep, a loud, vibrating sound shook her room and she nearly jumped out of the bed.

Eyes wide in shock, Sana lunged for the Burutcha, trying to keep it from waking her mama and Shimura. But instead, she reached too far over, and one thing led to another, and she was on landing on the floor with a loud "thump!"

"Owwie." She groaned as she nursed her head, feeling like a complete idiot.

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." Sana muttered to herself.

But before she did anything else, her phone lit up in the dark of the room. Still on the floor, she reached for it and opened her messages.

From: Hayama

Is this an emergency?

Sana snorted, rolling her eyes.

To: Hayama

Feels like it.

I didn't think you would answer! I fell on the floor trying to stop the Burutcha from waking up the whole house. I probably did that myself. :D

From: Hayama

Baka.

To: Hayama

That's not very nice, is it? :(

To: Hayama

Soooo uh, you think you can talk?

From: Hayama

…

Give me a second.

It was enough time for Sana to crawl back into bed and get herself tucked in before Hayama called her. She knew her room was far enough from her mama's and Shimura's the that it wouldn't disturb their sleep. Though, still wanting to be courteous, she used her "quiet voice."

"Hello?"

"What's the emergency?"

His voice sounded very groggy and deep and tired, and Sana scrunched her eyes close, immediate regret sinking in. Oh, she should have never bothered him! She was never going to hear the end of this.

"Er, how mad would you be if I said it wasn't?"

There was a rough sigh on the other side of the phone followed with a long pause.

"… I'm surprised you called me."

Sana was too. After their scuffle, she was really upset with the lone wolf. After sharing that emotional moment in the old gym room, Sana felt like they had connected on an emotional level equivalent to that of her and Fuka. And his soft-spoken words made her really happy.

But then he spit in her face and said that she could go to Hiro for her needs.

Like what the hell did that even mean?!

"You were the only person I thought to call."

He remained silent on the other side of the phone.

"That was a shitty thing for me to say."

Sana smiled, Hayama not really one to apologize outwardly. And even though he didn't say it, she knew what he was alluding too.

"Gotta say, the tough act is really getting old, you know?"

"That wasn't what that was, but you know what, never mind."

She raised her brow.

I'm so confused.

"Is there a particular reason you called me at almost 4 in the morning?"

The former actress's eyes went wide, remembering why she called him in the first place.

It was always like this with him though. It was so easy to forget about the things going on around them because they always found a way to distract one another. Or get their minds off the troubles of their personal lives.

"Oh! Yeah, that's right. I guess there was a reason I called you, wasn't there!" She laughed, rubbing the back of her head.

Sheesh, Sana. Way to go be a dumb nut!

"I'm going to hang up." He threatened and Sana almost screamed at him through the phone until she realized that it was, in fact, 4 in the morning and she couldn't chastise him like she would at school.

"You are so rude!" She whispered rather harshly. "It took a lot for me to call, you know!"

"Then speak. You don't really have a problem doing that normally."

If he were standing in front of her at this moment, she would have strangled him. Why did he make it so difficult to be nice!?

"You know what?! FORGET IT."

And she hung up, throwing her phone on the bed, grabbing her pillow, and screaming into it. She released a loud, rough sigh and threw the pillow too.

"He is a PAIN IN MY ASS." She stood and paced around her room, muttering all obscenities about Hayama Akito.

"I swear! No one as IRRITATING and AGGRAVATING as that lone wolf!" She paced in circles, glaring at the floor, hands in the air and her sleep completely ruined. Thank goodness she didn't have school tomorrow because there would be no way she'd make it through the day.

She plopped onto her bean bag chair in the corner of her room, circling her arms around her legs. Burying her face into her knees, Sana sighed again in, but in melancholy.

Sana supposed it was her fault though.

She was the one who woke him up and disturbed her sleep. And for what? For her to be a child and throw a tantrum?

It was silly for her to get so torn up over memories of her past that didn't even matter. She didn't think so much of her birth mom or the events that took place before and during her abandonment. There wasn't a point.

She was happy now. She lived a wonderful life with her mama and Shimura. And got to spend 7 wonderful years with Rei. And now she had great friends. Her life had been difficult, but there were a lot of happy moments in it.

So why…

Why did she still feel so lonely?

.

God dammit.

His stubbornness and pride really got to him this time, didn't it?

Obviously, there was a reason Kurata called him. She wasn't going to pick up the damn Burutcha at 4 in the fucking morning just to bust his balls.

Or maybe she was. Who the fuck knows!? Not you, that's for sure you damn idiot!

It was hard to tell if the hoarseness in her voice was from a lack of sleep or if something was actually wrong, but either way, he just jumped right back into the doghouse with that statement.

His jealousy really got the best of him that day and when he told her to go to Hiro, he wanted to kick himself in the balls.

Yeah, sure idiot. Push her closer to the guy who has proclaimed his love for her. Cause that's going to do well for you and this obnoxious crush you have on her!

And now, even though he had been shitty to her, still called him because she needed something from him.

Not Akimoto.

Him.

And he fucked it up, like usual.

Sitting on the ledge of the window in the guest bedroom, he looked out the window and stared at his phone and Burutcha. He tapped on the screen a few times and saw his homepage empty. Akito pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes.

"Ah, fuck this."

He pressed the Burutcha, staring so intently he could probably burn holes through it.

Akito wanted her to know that he meant what he said. He wanted her to know that he was grateful. Because, if it hadn't been for her, he would probably be 6 feet under the ground. And the least he could do was listen to her, even if she did talk his ear off.

"Ugh." He leaned his head back against the frame of the ledge.

Gripping the Burutcha in his hand tightly, he waited anxiously for her to reply.

Whether it was a buzz back or a call, he wanted her to know she had someone on the other end. Because she didn't always. And that thought was a sharp knife to his chest.

His phone lit up, and he put the Burutcha down, eye glued to the phone. Her name popped up on his home screen with a stupid photo she took of herself when she stole his phone one day.

Akito answered, opening his mouth ready to say something.

But his voice died out when he heard her.

"What?"

She was sniffling, her voice quivering slightly.

Why did it sound like she was crying?

"I told you. If you need to cry, just call me. Don't go all depressed in the corner of your room."

He could hear a small laugh on the other end of the phone, and he sighed.

"How did you know I was in the corner of my room? Are you watching me, you pervert!"

Ah, there she is.

He rolled his eyes in response. It didn't get past him though, her change in demeanor and tone. She was hiding something from him.

"Lucky guess." He snorted and Akito could hear her huff on the other side of the phone.

"I'm sure! Knowing you and your cheetah ways, you're probably watching me right now!"

Head falling forward, he groaned.

Well, at least she isn't crying anymore.

"So, are you going to cut that shit out and tell me what's wrong?" Akito asked, finally having enough of her theatricals and distractions.

The line went silent on the other side, and he could picture her now: eyes scrunched, biting on her lip, wrapping her arms around her body to keep herself safe. After all, she was most vulnerable at this moment.

And she trusted him the most.

He wondered if this would still be the case if her and Fuka hadn't been stupid and called off their friendship.

"Lately, I've been having these dreams… dreams of my birth mom."

Akito's eyes went wide.

"But they aren't really dreams… their more like memories. Because it's all stuff that has happened."

They hadn't really touched the subject of her adoption and her mother's abandonment since the day Kurata dropped the bombshell on him all those months ago. And since then, he continued to learn layer after layer of who Kurata Sana really was.

And truly, he still had no idea.

Just when he thought he'd figure her out, she threw him another curve ball and he swung and missed so disastrously.

"I'm not really sure why this is all happening now. My adoption anniversary is not until the summer and it's not like I really want to remember her either. And in the dreams, I can never see her face. I just hear her voice."

"It's so confusing. And I feel like I can't talk to mama about it because I don't want her to think I'm dreaming about going back to her."

Akito could hear a tremble in her voice.

Fear.

She was scared.

"I don't know what it means. Or what it's telling me. I just know that I want them to stop."

Kurata was fearless.

He had learned that rather quickly. She was fearless and brave. It was a quality of hers that he was envious of - he would never tell her though.

The quivering and hoarseness in her voice told him different. And it was another layer that he peeled away.

"It's bullshit." Akito started.

"What?"

"All that crap that people say about dreams meaning something… it's just an idea planted to make themselves think there's a bigger meaning." The dark night was still, and all the snow was gone. He put his hand on the windowpane. "People get so caught up in looking for something that isn't there. Dreams are just dreams. They don't mean anything. So, getting caught up in it… not worth it."

"How do you know that?"

Sana's voice was pleading, like she needed his answer to mean something.

"I don't."

She sighed deeply.

"But… Sana." Her name rolled off his lips so easily. Like it belonged there.

"All that crap with your birth mom… what she did to you –" Akito clenched his fist. "She can't hurt you anymore."

"And like with anything else with time, those memories will fade too."

He knew she was still there by the hitch in her voice.

Then the sniffling and broken sobs started.

And all he could do was listen from the other side of town. He gritted his teeth, clenched his fist, tapped his foot against the ledge of the windowpane.

He hated hearing her cry.

But there was nothing the blond could do, so he just saw quietly. And eventually her sobs dampened and all her heard was an occasional sniffle.

He didn't really know how much time passed and his eyes did start to grow heavy as her breathing seemed more normal patterned now. He leaned his forehead against the cool windowpane and just waited until she was ready.

"Akito..."

His ears perked at his name. His chest tickled with a flame.

"Thank you."

And they ended the rest of the morning in silence.

.

"So, you going to tell me what happened?" Ayame sat down, her book bag flopped on the lunch table.

Akimoto Hiro was sulking, eating his sandwich quietly, his green eyes full of sadness. Ayame was concerned, not having ever really seen her surrogate brother down in the dumps like this.

"I'm surprised you don't yet."

She raised a brow.

It probably has to do with Sana-chan then.

"Can't say that I do. So, you going to tell me or what?"

He sighed heavily, pouting like the baby he could be.

"I did something stupid."

Ayame quirked a brow.

"I may or may not have confessed to Sana."

Both brows went up and Ayame's mouth opened. That was certainly not what she expected, but knew she hit the nail on the coffin with Sana being involved.

Their weird behavior around one another made sense though. She hadn't really seen them around one another, and Sana was avoiding him. Though, Sana had been acting sort of weird the last few weeks. Her surrogate older sister and her brother had been fighting a lot more too.

"I'm guessing it didn't go well cause you're sulking." He looked up at her with dejection and she inwardly flinched.

Did Sana reject him?

"Well, she didn't say no." Her brow perked again.

"But she didn't say yes either."

"What did she say?" The young Hayama asked, curious as to her answer, especially with what she's seen between her brother and her lately.

He pursed his lips.

"She didn't say much of anything really." His eyes were a dull green, and his features were down casted. Ayame started to feel guilty. She knew Hiro liked Sana, but she didn't realize how much. And this sullen air was telling her that it was more than just a crush.

"She kind of just laughed and asked me what I meant by that."

It took everything in her not to roll her eyes. Sana was ever so dense, wasn't she?

"It didn't make sense to me, but I just told her that I loved her. As more than a friend. And that's when I saw it in her eyes." Hiro sucked in his lips and leaned back. "She said she needed some time to figure it out."

Ayame was shocked. Hiro loved Sana? When did that happen?

"I don't think she needs time to figure out anything, honestly." His voice defeated; Hiro was playing with his hands. "I think she's trying to figure out how to reject me."

A sad smile followed.

Her chest felt tight, and a sadness encompassed her. Seeing Hiro so glum made her feel sorrowful.

Ayame was doing her best in supporting him, especially with his dad being back in his life. It was still something he had been avoiding, even though his mother had forced him and his dad to have dinner together. Ayame unfortunately had to be subjected to a very tense and awkward dinner the first time.

He owed her twice now after their small spat and that miserable dinner.

But he was doing the best he could.

And even though Ayame knew that Hiro had liked Sana for some time now, she didn't realize his feelings evolved to love.

"You don't know that." She finally answered, reaching for his hand.

He laughed, shaking his head.

"I think I do. If she liked me, she would have answered me already." Ayame squeezed his hand. "Besides, part of me feels like she likes your brother."

Ayame was taken aback by that.

"What?"

He scrunched his eyes, a frown taking over that melancholic look he was wearing moments ago.

"I don't know. They spend a lot of time together now. It would only make sense, right?"

Ayame shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, honestly."

She knew that wasn't really what he wanted to hear, but the young Hayama couldn't lie. She knew her brother liked Sana. It was only obvious on his part – if you paid attention. As for Sana, Ayame had been trying to figure that out for a while now.

It was much harder to tell, surprisingly.

There were moments where Ayame felt like she was interrupting, seeing something she wasn't supposed too. And they had this way of talking to one another that didn't make sense to her. Whatever their friendship was based on wasn't anything she had ever seen before.

"But just because they hang out, it doesn't necessarily mean they like one another. I mean, looked at you and me. Or me and Kyo-kun. And I don't like you. Not like that at least." She smirked, poking at him.

For the longest time, everyone thought that she and Hiro were a thing. Even now, more so the new students, think her and Hiro are a couple. Until they realize they aren't, and Ayame doesn't have to worry about the rabid fan girls.

"Sheesh, shoot a man while he's down why don't you?" He grabbed at his heart and laughed.

She grinned.

"I don't know, kid. I've never felt like this before for anyone I had ever met. Every girl, besides you and Sana, never took me seriously. They looked at my appearance and just came for me because of my attractiveness. And yeah, it feels good. But no one ever cared to look underneath all that."

"Then here comes Sana, and she does that. She looks at the person I am under all this shallow crap and still by my side."

"She made it so easy to just be me. I never had to worry about what I looked like on the inside."

"Did you tell her all this?" Ayame asked.

He snorted, shaking his head, folding his arms.

"No. How can I?"

"Because it's what you feel?" The blond said, sort of exasperated.

"I don't want her to feel obligated to be with me because of things like that. I want her to be with me because she wants too."

Ayame's guilt settled in.

Before Akito and Sana started their friendship, she had been rooting for Hiro and Sana to get together. No one to get involved though, she never pushed the narrative. Sana didn't look like she was wanting to date, and Hiro only seemed infatuated.

But as time passed and her brother and Sana created this friendship, she had seen them connect in a way she never saw her brother connect with someone before. Even with Tsuyoshi, who had been her brother's closest friend since they were kids, Akito never seemed so opened with.

Sana had changed her brother and helped him in ways that no one could. She brought her brother out from that deep and lonely place he secluded himself into. And even though he wouldn't say it, Ayame knew Akito was grateful for it.

But somewhere along the way, something changed and now she was seeing her brother react in ways she had never seen before. And do things he had never done. And feeling things he had never felt. And she was rooting for it, for him, for them.

Not realizing that it left Hiro in the dust.

"Oh Hiro-kun." Was all she could say.

He smiled sadly again, shaking his head once more.

"Well, at least, I'll always have you." He reached across the table and rubbed the top of her head.

Ayame grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly.

"Always."

.

Walking down the hall, Akito yawned, still somewhat tired. He had a late run yesterday and went to bed somewhat later than he wanted. After his late-night phone call with Sana, his sleep schedule got screwed and he was sleeping later than he wanted.

School was really such a drag sometimes.

It was the middle of the day, and lunch had just started. He was heading over to his friends when a few of his classmates had walked by.

"Sup, Hayama-san!"

"Hey, Akito-san!"

"Hayama-kun! Football after school? Let's do it!"

He waved them off, told his classmate another time to football and trekked his way to the lunch table outside where they had all agreed on their group chat.

On his way, he saw his sister and Akimoto sitting together. Whatever conversation they were having, it seemed to be serious from the look on Ayame's face. He took one look over Hiro and fought the urge to glare.

Akito didn't know how serious this crush was on Sana, but it was enough that it had him glaring at Akimoto Hiro when he didn't care anything for him prior.

He sighed, turning away from them.

Get your head on straight, Akito.

He was walking over towards the café line, contemplating what his meal was going to consist of when he felt a tap at his shoulder. He turned around and Fuka waved at him with a smile.

Akito nodded. "Yo."

"Did ya just get here?"

"Yeah." He looked back up at the menu.

Fried rice, huh? And some sushi. I could go for that.

"You look tired. Are you getting enough sleep?" Fuka pressed on.

"Slept late after a late run last night. Nothing crazy."

She nodded, looking up at the menu too.

"Oh! It looks like they got some red curry. I think I might do that!" She spoke. "Also, you really should plan your runs better, Aki. No sleep is bad for the body."

Aki was a new nickname she started calling him by. It started a few weeks ago, when they were walking down the hall once, and she said goodbye to him with that. He looked at her with confusion and she kind of gave him an incredulous look before she chastised him.

"What? Oh stop. You call me Buka all the time. Aki is hardly worth looking annoyed with."

He didn't comment on it after that. Tsuyoshi brought it up once when he heard Fuka say bye and he just shrugged his shoulders in response.

"Aki? That's a new one."

"It's better than trying to fight it. I don't care enough to make her stop."

Akito also found that he liked Fuka a lot more now than he did back then. She was trying too hard at first. And it was constant, which aggravated him. But now, he sort of liked her company and she wasn't an idiot either. She matched his intellect.

Maybe if his heart hadn't been so cold, he could have liked her, maybe even returned her feelings.

But he knew the only reason he was able to be like this now was because Sana opened his heart. If she didn't show up, he would still be locked away. Or worse.

"Okay, mom." He responded.

"I'm serious, Akito! You develop those habits; they are hard to break!" She continued to scold, and he rolled his eyes.

He wasn't going to tell Fuka that he was up till 6am with Sana on the phone the night before. Nope. Not at all.

"You make your point, Buka." Shaking his head, he ordered at the window and whispered under his breath "You and Sana are both the same in annoying me."

He was handed his tray and his stomach started to rumble at the sight and smell of his food. He smirked, ready to eat.

"What did you say?"

He looked up at her and saw her staring wide eyed at her with her mouth open wide.

"What?"

"What did you just say?" She grabbed her tray and thanked the lady before turning back to him. Akito had walked towards the condiment section.

"I said that you and Sana are the same in annoying me. You run your mouths non-stop."

Fuka continued to stare at him in shock. He didn't see how that was such a profound statement. He had called them both annoying many times. And they had talked about Sana before.

"Right…"

"Is this conversation done now? I'm hungry."

She glared and shook her head, waving goodbye to him. "Yeah, sure. See you later, Aki."

Weird girl.

He thought to himself. But Fuka was Fuka, and he didn't have time to figure her out, not that he really wanted too anyway.

When he walked outside to the courtyard, he found his friends sitting at the table. Tsuyoshi, Aya and Sana were sitting, laughing about something. He walked over and grabbed the spot in between Sana and Tsuyoshi.

"Oh! Akito-kun! There you are!"

Tsuyoshi moved his backpack, and he dropped his stuff. He nodded at Tsuyoshi and then his eyes skimmed to Aya and finally Sana. She was stuffing a bite of curry into her mouth.

"Hey, Akito-kun! We were wondering where you were!" Aya said. He nodded to her too.

"Do you not know how to eat like a human?" He teased and Sana glared at him. She chewed quickly, swallowed loudly and then narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, hello to you too, A-ki-to!"

He smirked in response.

"So, what did you guys do this weekend?" Tsuyoshi moved past the insult and started a new conversation at the table.

As they conversed while he ate silently, he was thankful for how he and Sana were able to pretend like nothing ever happened this weekend. Like he didn't hear her breaking down on the phone and he just listened.

"Akito-kun, what did you do?"

"Play some video games, read. Nothing too crazy." He scarfed down his food, trying not to focus on the girl sitting next to him. She didn't seem tired, so she must have gotten some sleep yesterday.

"Hmm, we should all hang out this upcoming weekend! How fun would that be?" Sana said, slamming her hands on the table. Akito looked up from his plate of food.

"Oh! That sounds like so much fun!" Aya agreed, shaking her head.

"What do you think, Akito-kun?" Tsuyoshi asked and suddenly, all eyes were on him.

Shrugging his shoulders, he ate another roll. "I won't hate it."

Tsuyoshi's face brightened immediately and Aya smiled. Sana rose a brow and then looked over at him.

"When Akito says he doesn't hate something, he really means he likes it!" Tsuyoshi explained and he rolled his eyes.

"Why you gotta be so cryptic all the time? Just come out and say it, huh!" she nagged, shaking her head with a smile. He glared.

"I don't go around telling you how to live your life."

She deadpanned at him. "You definitely have, Akito. I recall multiple instances where you told me I needed to be more realistic and stop living in my own head."

He remained quiet but both Tsuyoshi and Aya snickered, and he shot them quick glares.

Sana smirked.

Dammit.

"And he remains SILENT. Wow. Cat got your tongue, huh?!" she continued and snickered all the same.

"It's not very often that someone gets the upper hand on you, Akito-kun!" Tsuyoshi laughed and Aya nodded.

"I cannot remember the last time someone had you so silent!"

Sana continued to beam at him in victory. He looked up with annoyance and suddenly had an urge to flick them all.

Instead, he settled for Sana.

"Hey - ! Oww!" she cried while rubbing her forehead. He then proceeded to grab at her cheek.

"Oww! Oww! Oww! Stop that!" she pulled away and grabbed at his hand and he pinched just a tad harder. Not enough to really hurt her though.

"Say you're sorry." he demanded.

"No way!"

Ah hell.

Sana was pouting at him, her lip pursed, and she was looking at him with a fire burning in her eyes. He wasn't one to say things were cute but damn, looking at her…

"Just say you're sorry and I'll let you go."

She grabbed his hand and tried to pull it off. He smirked.

"If you do that, it's just going to hurt worse."

"Akitoooo. Let me go!" she cried fake tears but could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Say you're sorry, and I'll think about it." the blond smirked, and she glared.

"You're such a pain in the ass." she replied, still glaring.

"Takes one to know one."

"Okay, okay! Fine! I'm sorry."

He narrowed his eyes then shook his head.

"Come on, Sana. That didn't even sound sincere."

She glared again. "Fine! I'm sorry for making you look like an idiot."

He pinched a bit harder.

"Let me go, ya jerk!"

"Apologize."

"No!"

"Then I'm not letting go."

"Akito!"

"Sana."

"Let me go, Haya-jerk!"

"Say sorry."

"Umm, you guys."

And they both looked over at Tsuyoshi, who was looking at them with wide, doe eyes.

Shit.

"I really don't mean to interrupt, but the bell rang." His best friend looked over at him with raised brows and a knowing look, and Akito felt his stomach drop.

Sana slapped his hand away and he looked over at her with a glare.

"Hey, that hurt."

"Oh? Does it? SO DOES MY CHEEK."

He snickered slightly, her cheek red from where he had his hold.

"I'm glad you find it funny!"

"Stop throwing a fit. Let's get to class."

Grabbing her backpack, he handed it to her, and she ripped it away from his hands with a forceful thank you and stalked off, leaving the three of them behind.

Akito grabbed the rest of sushi and scarfed it down quickly.

Aya had run off ahead of him and Tsuyoshi and caught up to Sana.

Which meant, it left him and Tsuyoshi behind.

The girls were far enough in front that he knew they were out of ear shot distance and he knew that didn't bode well for him.

"You and Sana have sure developed a very interesting friendship, Akito-kun." He started and he nodded.

"Yeah, what about it?"

Tsuyoshi laughed.

"I just remembered when you didn't even like her."

It was stupid, wasn't it? Looking back. He hated her just because he could. He didn't have a reason why.

"I misjudged her."

Tsuyoshi's eyes went wide, and he could see genuine surprise in his statement.

"Wow. I think that's the sincerest I've heard you in a while."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not afraid to admit when I was wrong."

"Yeah, and you always punished yourself for it."

Akito felt his jaw steel. This was not a path he wanted to walk down.

"Things are better, I think."

If he was going to fight him against his change in conversation, he didn't show it because he merely smiled at him.

"I would have to agree." Tsuyoshi said. "You're happier than you've been in years. Even before your mom died."

The blond thought of the events that led up to his mom's death; juvie, his and his dad's explosive fight, his dad wanted to move to LA, the day of the accident. His life was literally spiraling out of control. Akito lost his grip on everything.

"I don't… I don't hate where I'm at now."

Tsuyoshi looked at him with watery eyes and he rubbed the back of his neck. His best friend was too much of a softie, always getting so worked up over nothing.

"Don't get worked up." He said in embarrassment and Tsuyoshi wiped his tears away.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry!"

Sana and Aya were a few feet ahead, and he zeroed in on Kurata. How was it that someone like her made such a difference in his life?

"So, Sana huh?"

Akito looked down and saw a mischievous smile on his friend's lips.

He glared.

"That's her name."

"Yeah, I didn't realize you guys were such good friends to where you called each other by your first names now."

His smile grew, the teasing in his tone obvious and he continued to glare.

"I know what you're thinking and stop it."

"I didn't say anything. I'm just saying. It's nice you're on first name basis now."

The blonde noticed the girls pulling away, and Tsuyoshi slowing down in his step. It made the beating in his chest more frantic.

"Can I… be frank, Akito-kun?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Nothing's really stopped you before."

"I think -" and then Tsuyoshi stopped and Akito arched a brow, "I think that there's nothing wrong with being happy."

"If you want to like her, there's no shame in it. You deserve to find love and for someone to love you back. The mistakes of your past don't define you; they never did."

The world around him went silent, his classmates walking by without sound. He thought of his past, the horrible things he did, the accident, his treatment of his younger sister, how he closed himself off from his best friend. After all this time, it never felt right to be content.

His life was better these days. And he meant what he said just a few minutes ago.

He liked where his life was at now.

But there was never enough peace, and chaos always followed him.

So much so, Akito was waiting for life to pull the rug from out under him.

"… I don't love her."

"But you don't hate her either, right?"

He stayed quiet, and Tsuyoshi's smile grew ten folds. It was almost like watching a kid open their gifts on Christmas.

He felt heat on his cheeks, the back of his neck, and throughout his body. Embarrassment washed over him and immediately, he wanted out of this conversation.

Great. First Ayame, now Tsuyoshi.

"GAH. What is taking you guys forever!? You slow pokes forget how to walk, or what!?"

Like the storm she was, Sana appeared and grabbed him by the sleeve of his school jacket and pulled at him. Thank God she was too much in a blind rage to see the pink tinted on his cheeks.

Too much in his own thoughts, he didn't bother to reply. Akito looked to Tsuyoshi for help, but the traitor just shrugged his shoulders. Aya hooked an arm through his and gestured for him to follow. Like the lovesick dog he was, he followed without fight.

Both boys looked at one another one more time and Tsuyoshi beamed at him.

Ah, hell.

But as Sana pulled him along, there was a tug at his lips and a fleeting moment of happiness that filled his heart.

Yeah, he could get used to this.

A/N: Akito's secret crush isn't staying a secret for so long, is it? First Ayame, then Tsuyoshi, and now Fuka seems to be catching onto... something. Akito is literally such a softie. He can try to be hard all he wants, but when it comes to Kurata Sana, he is literal mush in her hands. Speaking of Sana... we are delving more into her past and I cannot wait for it to come! We've touched on her abandonment and Rei, just barely. But, her time is coming and it's coming soooo soon. This play is just stirring up all types of feelings.

Poor Hiro. I feel like I should give him a break, because he's having a really hard finding one. But, he does have Ayame so there's that.

These next few chapters are going to be some of my favorites. We will have like an interlude and then the long awaited School Festival arc is starting! And oh ho ho, do I have some treats for you all :).

You already know. All reviews, comments, criticism, etc. are welcomed!

- Dark Waffle