A/N: I feel like this story is going to be like 100 chapters because everything I outline, it always ends up turning into more. This was supposed to be the start of the School Festival, but instead it turned into Interlude II because I couldn't fathom starting the festival without some much needed angst from our favorite girl.
Anyway, this chapter is angsty so I am very sorry ahead of time! Hope yall enjoy!
Chapter: 42 Interlude II
"HEY! THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
"What do you mean? I won fair and square?"
"NO, YOU DID NOT!"
"How? I had the last card? And then played it after Ayame."
"YOU DIDN'T CALL UNO YOU SCOUNDREL."
Sana had her foot on their coffee table, an angry scowl on her face, and an accusing finger pointed right at him. Ayame was sighing with a laugh as she placed her uno cards on the table. Sana was red in the face, and he could have sworn that steam was blowing out of her ears.
"I did!" Akito defended, crossing his arms.
"Not loud enough!"
He rolled his eyes. Clearly, someone was a sore loser.
"I beat you, Kurata. And you know it."
Sana narrowed her eyes at him.
"OKAY AYAME-CHAN." She turned to his sister, and she jumped in place.
"DID YOU HEAR HIM!?"
Ayame spared a look at him and then back to the rabid dog that was Sana. He could see the confliction in her face, but Akito knew what the answer was.
"… He did say it, Sana-chan. I think you were just lost in your own world."
And the cracks appeared, and Sana went white. She was silent for a moment before she regained her natural color. She huffed and sat back down.
"You are both in cahoots with each other! I get it! Siblings take down. Whatever!" The excuses poured out of her mouth and Ayame tried to be nice and console her.
He was having none of it.
"Who knew you were such a sore loser, huh?" He smirked and Sana narrowed her eyes again at him.
Ayame audibly groaned. "Ugh, seriously?"
"I am NOT a sore loser! YOU JUST CHEATED."
And the quarrel started again, this time with her throwing pillows at his face. Akito successfully dodged most. He took a hit here and there, but the most fatal blow was to the water cup on the table that fell all over Ayame and himself.
"You two are the worst! I'm always having to pick up after you two!" His sister stood from her place on the floor and whined as she marched upstairs to change.
"I guess my anger got the best of me hahaha!" Sana laughed as she just scratched the back of her head and watched as Akito wiped his legs and lounging shorts with a kitchen towel.
"You guess?" He retorted and she gave him a pointed look.
"Oh, I'll apologize as soon as she gets back down." Waving her hand, Sana didn't seem too concerned. Akito really wasn't either. Ayame would already be over it by the time she came back.
The blonde sighed and walked to the kitchen, grabbing another cup of water to replace the one knocked over. From the corner of his eye, he watched as Sana sat on the couch and stared aimlessly at the TV. Her eyes seemed to go in a daze.
Akito had a hard time believing she was the same person sometimes.
Tomorrow was the School Festival.
In all the hours, days, weeks, they practiced, it was finally here.
Feeling the nerves slightly, Akito knew it was because he was about to perform in front of a whole auditorium of people. Not really one to put himself out there, he wasn't too thrilled.
But he made a promise to his partner, and he wouldn't let her go through it alone.
Akito could tell though that she was growing apprehensive. Her moods were erratic – well more so than usual. And she would go off in a daze like she was now. And her mind trailed often. Her eyes were filled with so much sorrow at times.
It only made sense.
Much like karate brought on painful memories, acting did the same for her.
From what he gathered about the accident; she watched her manager die. That itself was enough, he thought, to deter her from ever stepping on a stage again. But that's where he underestimated her. She was stronger than him and put herself on stage again. Knowing that it would cause painful memories, Sana didn't want to let anyone down.
It was so incredibly infuriating to watch.
Ayame had noticed her strange behavior too. And even though she didn't know in detail like he had, she suspected it had to do with her past.
"It seems silly of her to hide what she's feeling."
Akito grunted in response.
"But that's Sana-chan for you." Ayame moved the food on her plate around with her fork, eyes lost.
"Hey! Why don't we invite her over the night before the festival? It could help ease her mind!"
Her eyes sparked immediately and the grin on her face was bright.
It… wasn't a bad idea. Sana would certainly appreciate the distraction. After all, in her own words, running away was what she did best.
"She probably wouldn't hate it."
And that's how they got here, in his living room the night before the School Festival.
Taking a drink from his water, he walked to the fridge, and grabbed a canned matcha green tea. Sana didn't even move as he walked back to the living room, taking a seat next to her. Raising the cold can, he touched it to her face. She jumped, yelping loud in his ear.
"What the hell was that?!" Looking at him with wide eyes, he gestured to the drink before placing it on the table.
"Did you have to scare me like that!?" The auburn-haired girl shouted at him, reaching for the canned tea.
Shrugging his shoulders, Akito leaned back on the couch.
"You seemed lost in your mind."
Her eyes grew and then she pursed her lips. Looking away from him, she put the can to her lips.
"… Is it that obvious?" Her voice was muffled by the can. Akito stared at the side of her face with hard eyes.
"Only if you know to look."
He was met with silence.
Akito didn't push the subject. He knew how it felt to be on the other side of this feeling. He hated the constant pestering and questioning. It was part of what made him so spiteful and hostile.
"I am excited, don't get me wrong." Her voice was clear now. "I know it's going to be so much fun! With all our friends! And seeing you act!" She turned to look at him, and the smile on her face made his chest tighten.
"That'll definitely be a sight for old eyes!"
Akito rolled his eyes. She could never get the phrase right, could she?
But her smile didn't last long, and her eyes lost their shine, replaced with a gloss. Her lip quivered slightly as her jaw flexed with a familiar pain he knew all too well.
Her vulnerability always caught him off guard.
Because while she was always showing an array of emotions, Sana rarely allowed herself to be vulnerable. In a weird, twisted way of events, he was lucky enough to be her source of comfort. Not that he minded.
"It was easy to ignore for the most part. But lately, it feels like I'm suffocating. That he's right behind me. And I can't shake the blanket of pain that comes with him."
"I don't know if the pain will ever stop. I feel like I'm cursed to shoulder this grief forever." Akito felt a nerve strike, as that was a pain he knew too. "But I'm scared to let go too."
"Because letting go means letting go of Rei too. And I can't ever fathom doing that."
It was amazing to him how similar he and Sana were, even in all their differences.
"I know it's so silly to be so hung up about all this. Over some stupid, little play. A play that's not going to matter in a week, a month, a year from now." She wrung her hands together and it took everything in him to not pull her into his arms.
"But sometimes… it's just too much."
Her words hung in the air. Ayame was still upstairs, and they were engulfed in silence.
He really wasn't sure what to say next. Was she looking for words of encouragement? Or just someone to listen to her thoughts? If it was the first, she was looking at the wrong person. But listening… he'd always been good at that.
"Well, anyway!" She looked back at him, and her smile was fierce on her face.
Her eyes were bright, and her sorrow gone.
"Thanks. For listening." Her smile grew wider, and he felt his throat dry. Sana padded his knee and stood up.
"Man, what time is it?! I feel like it's already gotten so late!" She stretched and he watched her closely. "I should probably be getting home soon! We have a big day tomorrow!"
Her smile changed into a grin, and her voice hinted at excitement.
But he could have sworn he heard a tremble too.
"I don't want to let go either."
Her grin disappeared and confusion crossed her face. Sana tilted her head at him, seemingly forgetting their entire conversation from just a few moments ago. Akito rocked forward and stood up next to her. He could feel her eyes on him.
"My mom."
Her eyes went wide at his statement.
"I don't want to let her go either." He felt like he needed water. His mouth was so dry. "But I also don't feel like I have a right to hold onto her."
Because I'm the one that killed her.
But Akito wasn't ready to have that conversation. He didn't know if he would ever be. Then again, he never thought he'd be having this conversation now. Kurata Sana would be the only one to pull it out of him.
"So, I get it."
The blond forced himself to look at her and he immediately wished he hadn't.
She was looking at him with soft but empathetic eyes. The softness of the hazel brown was warm with comfort. Her lips were pressed in a line, slightly tugging downward. Overall, she seemed to mirror his thoughts.
His hand went to rub the back of his neck. Akito did not like being put in uncomfortable positions; especially one's he put himself in.
"Akit-"
"Anyway. I'll be happy to get rid of the damn play."
She scowled.
Whether from his interruption or because of his play comments? He wasn't going to dwell.
"Okay! Now that I'm nice and dry, who's ready for ice cream?!"
Whatever Sana was going to say, her words were unspoken. His sister came down with her loud voice and a smile the size of Japan. He took the liberty of grabbing his own ice cream while Ayame grabbed another her for her and the auburn-haired girl.
"Here ya go, Sana-chan! Hope you like it! I picked it out!"
"Thanks, Ayame-chan!"
The girls dove into conversation, and he silently ate his ice cream, thoughts going back to Sana's sullen eyes and vulnerability. And then he thought of himself, and his own mother.
He could see her so clearly, across the kitchen table. She was always nagging at him, his sister for their messes, picking up after their father, always pinching their cheeks or ruffling their hair when she walked by. Akito could picture his sulking face as she lectured him for getting into fights while cleaning up his cuts and bruises. He saw her tired smiles and dim lit eyes at his father who always showed up two, three, four hours too late.
And worst of all, he could still see her lifeless body hanging from the seat after the truck had plowed into them.
All because of him.
"Selfish son killed his own mother."
"If only he listened."
"Always causing trouble. And this was the consequence."
At first, every accusation was a sting, turning into deep cuts. Pain deep to his heart with every accusing word. But after a while, he had grown numb. Words just bounced off his skin, the stares and mutterings lost to him.
But nothing hurt more than the words of a grieving father or resentful husband.
"You murdered your own mother, my wife. I can never forgive you. You are not my son."
"Ni-chan."
The daze he was in, it was cracked open, and he was pulled back into the real world. Ayame's hand was on his wrist, a light touch. His hand was squeezing the small pint of ice cream, it's content's spilling over.
When did…?
Looking briefly to his sister, then Sana, he could see their worry. With a deep breath, then hard swallow, he released the pint and cleaned his mess quickly.
"I'm going on a run."
Before anyone could protest, he ran upstairs, feeling the intense stare of eyes burning into his back.
.
She had seen the look on his face before.
It was a spiral; a downward spiral that ended at the pits of hell. But instead of intense and agonizing flames, it was an overwhelming darkness that swallowed you whole.
Not only did her brother live there, but she was sure he welcomed it.
"I hate when he does that." She muttered, staring angrily at the table.
Their relationship was getting better… but it wasn't enough.
"He blames himself, doesn't he?" Sana asked, her eyes looking up to the top of the staircase. They then trailed down to her, a fierce, determined look blazing in them. Ayame sighed deeply.
She crossed her arms, a scowl settling on her face. Ayame could still remember the conversation like it was yesterday. It was in that very kitchen where their father spat the vilest, most hurtful words to her brother; words that cut her so deep she didn't process them until recently.
But then she looked at the kitchen table with troubled eyes because it hadn't just been her father who made him feel that way. She contributed. They had all hurt one another.
"Yes. I don't think there will ever come a time he doesn't."
Her surrogate sister pursed her lips and eyes went back to the top of the staircase.
"An idiot who takes so much blame and for nothing." Sana harshly whispered.
"I nor my dad certainly didn't help in erasing that narrative."
Ayame remembered all the whispers and mumbles at the funeral, in their home. The remaining family members of the Hayama household, broken and barely surviving, were seated at the front and all eyes were staring into them.
She was still in a brace, and Ayame could only sit for so long until she had to get up and move. Her own brother had his arm in a sling and was walking with a limp. Their father was a ghost of who he once was. And even though they were already at their lowest, that didn't stop the horrible words spoken in hushed breathes towards her older brother.
"I can't take back what I didn't do." She gritted. "But I can make a difference now."
Sana seemed surprised by the resolution in her voice. But she shook it off immediately and smiled proudly. That made her heart jump.
"Your brother's lucky to have you." Her statement was followed by a grin.
The closing of a door echoed into the kitchen and both her and Sana looked up at the top of the stairs again. Akito was now dressed in a running shirt and shorts. He came down the stairs quickly, avoiding eye contact with either of them.
"If you walk her home, Ayame, I'll run over and pick you up after." His back was still to them as he grabbed his shoes and keys.
"You'd really leave two defenseless girls by themselves this late?!" Sana shouted.
That statement caused her brother to turn around, eyes scrunched together. Annoyance crossed her face as he looked at Sana.
"What? You going to run with me, then?"
"No! You could just skip the run and walk with us, ya know!?"
Her brother rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no thanks. I'll pick you up at Kurata's, Ayame."
Akito looked at her and nodded. She sighed, knowing the decision was set.
"What?! That's not how this works, Akito!"
But Sana's protest were in vain because he was already out the door. She huffed, crossing her arms. She huffed in irritation.
"That jerk! And you let him get away with it, Ayame-chan!"
She put her hands up in defense. "Hey now! I know when to fight my brother, and that was a moment not too."
Sana narrowed her eyes at her and then sighed in disappointment.
"The guy really likes avoiding uncomfortable conversations or the potential for one, doesn't he?"
Ayame nodded.
"Since always."
Sana didn't reply. She merely looked at the door with concerned eyes. Looking down, she bit her lip, a scowl on her face. The older girl then sighed and shook her head.
"Idiot is always getting on me for keeping stuff in." She muttered. "Can't even follow his own advice."
"Sana-chan?"
With wide eyes, Sana looked up and gave a nervous smile.
"Oh! Sorry! Got lost in my own head for a minute. Anyway, are you ready to go?!"
Ayame furrowed her brows slightly, mouth pressed in a firm line. Her brown eyes trailed Sana to the living room.
"Like two sides of the same coin." Ayame mumbled, throwing her left-over ice cream away and grabbing her keys.
"Ya ready?" Sana asked, and Ayame put on her best smile.
"Yeah, let's go!"
.
The fan ceiling was spinning above her slowly, eyes not looking at anything particular. The roof was smooth, some dust collecting from the lack of dusting. There was a slight clanking against the lamp attached to the fan. The stillness of the room was almost defeaning; so much so that it felt like her thoughts were being echoed around the four walls.
"So, tomorrow is the day."
Sana closed her eyes, letting the darkness and comfort of her bed swallow her.
"Yup! It's going to be awesome!"
There was an itch in her chest, nagging but not entirely uncomfortable.
"I'm sure it's going to go well, Sana-chan!"
She reached for her heart, hand clutching the fabric.
"I don't doubt it!"
Biting her lip, Sana sighed deeply with one goal in mind.
"Remember daughter. There is no pressure in all this. Go out there and enjoy yourself."
That itch in her chest began to spread, her insides growing unsteady.
"Everyone in my class has worked so hard, Akito especially. I can't let them down."
A hitch in her breathe, Sana opened her eyes and memories of the last few weeks of her and Akito studying together raced through her mind.
"No one would think differently if something should happen."
Her chest was engulfed now, that itch turning to pressure. Her chest felt the weight of it all, gravity forcing her down.
"Nothing's gunna happen cause it's going to go superrrr smooooooth!"
Rei came to mind. His smile was sweet, glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He was giving her his characteristic thumbs up. His shoulders were loose and relaxed in the way they usually were when she was acting. Sometimes he was super rigid and biting down on a rolled-up script, jumping in his place, crying out her name when things were stressful.
But in her mind, he was smiling. And he was happy. He was proud.
She couldn't breathe.
Sana could do this.
She could do this.
I can do this.
And then, the world went dark. And Sana was abruptly pushed, landing hard on the floor. Her hands were stretched out behind her and there was a small cloud of smoke in front of her. People began to shout, commotion all around her.
She waved the smoke away, coughing slightly. Sana looked up and distress entered his eyes immediately. Her entire body went cold, heart hammering in her ears.
The metal beams that were above her, the broken cameras, part of the production set, were now on the floor, where she was just standing. There were scattered pieces of metal and plastic all around, a light groan from the bars up top.
Her eyes grew wider and wider, lip trembling as she began to move forward.
Her hand reached in front of her, Rei's glasses broken and trampled in front of his mangled hand. A dark ooze was beginning to spread, Sana's heart nearly stopping at realization. Her breathes were coming in quick pants, her legs moving, knees scraping against the floor.
"Rei-kun…"
She whispered barely.
His head was faced away from her, but even then, she could see the darkness that was matted on top. Half his body was crushed under the heaviness of the set, and he was completely still.
"Rei-kun…!"
Her body scrambled, her throat burning, tears stinging her eyes. Her hand reached to him, fingertips so close to his. Her hand missed his and it landed with a loud splash as it was drenched in blood.
"Rei-kun!"
And gravity lost her, and her eyes went wider as a pair of arms pulled her away, Rei now further away from her. The distance between them was growing wider and she struggled against the stranger's hold, her hand stretched in front of her.
"Get her away! It's too unstable!"
She clawed at the hands around her waist, struggling in their grip, trying to peel them away from her. Her cheeks were stained with tears, voice shrieking as she begged for them to let her go. Rei was almost out of her view, people beginning to crowd around him.
"Sagami-san! Sagami-san! Can you hear us!?"
Her hand reached forward, and Sana nearly lost it at the sight of his blood drenching her lone hand.
"REI-KUN!"
Curling into the fetal position, Sana grabbed her hand, the one covered in blood, and pulled it to her heart. Panting, the former actress closed her eyes, pleading for the images in her head to leave her.
Please.
Not now.
Please.
A wave of grief consumed her, a heavy weight wrapped around her ankle, and she was sinking, sinking, sinking. Gravity worked against her as she roared, her pleas silenced by the ragging, dark water around her. She reached forward, hoping, begging, for a hand to grab her.
Her hand transformed, a deep red seeping around her.
Sana was choking. She couldn't breathe. It was too much.
It was too much.
Tears spilled from her eyes, a broken sob leaving her lips as she suppressed the cry. She curled further into herself, burying herself into her bed. She so much wanted this damn bed to do her justice by swallowing her whole. This pain, this grief, was so hard to bear.
Someone help me.
Please.
Someone help me!
"Rei-kun…" She whispered to herself, tears falling so effortlessly.
"Please help me."
.
It was like being struck by lightning.
Akito's eyes shot open, his chest tightening. The hairs on his neck and arms were too attention, his nerves shot, a sear of electricity running down his back. He sat up quickly, sweat drenched at his forehead. He was frowning as the heaviness in his chest almost kept him bedbound.
He was heaving, eyes quickly scanning his room.
Not truly asleep, but enough to start dozing off, Akito felt a pull in his chest and eventually, a strike, like a bite.
He laid back down, trying to calm his uneven breathing.
Arm draped over his eyes, he focused on his breathing rate, his heart rate, attempting to slow it down. He remembered his breathing lessons from karate, how important it was to save your stamina and concentrate your breathing while fighting an opponent.
It helped, even if it was just a small bit.
"What the hell was that…" He mumbled to himself, eyes trying to adjust to the darkness around him.
He glared at the ceiling.
There was no way in hell that this apprehension was caused by tomorrow's School Festival. As much as he didn't care to participate and act in front of an entire school, it wasn't enough to wake him up in the middle of the night.
Throwing the blankets off him, he jumped out of bed.
Something had to be wrong. That was the only reasonable explanation.
Slowly and quietly, he left his room and moved two steps to his left. Ayame's door was looming in front of him, and Akito frowned.
Ayame seemed to be in a fine mood earlier today. Even with her annoyance of him, when he picked her up from Sana's house, she was chatting and smiling away their entire walk home. And while Ayame was a Hayama, hiding her feelings wasn't so easy for her. She was entirely transparent to him.
So, he didn't think anything was fine.
Even so, he should probably make sure she was okay.
Reaching for her doorknob, he turned it slightly to the right.
Akito opened the door slowly and carefully, trying his best not to let even the sliver of light. Poking his head in, he could see the outline of her on her bed. With pensive eyes, he watched her carefully as her chest peacefully inhaled and exhaled.
Narrowing his eyes slightly, there wasn't reason to believe anything was amiss with his sister. He treaded back carefully and closed the door softly with the light click. With a deep sigh, he looked back at his room.
Okay. So not Ayame.
Then… Sana?
He glared at his bedroom door, chewing on the inside of his cheek.
While she seemed her normal, obnoxious, and eccentric self for most of the night, he did catch her apprehensive towards the end of the night. And when neither she nor his sister were paying attention, he watched her closely and saw her moments of relapse, where the façade disappeared for a quick moment.
Even when he swung by her house to pick up his sister, she seemed okay.
"Alright! I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Sana shouted as she waved them goodbye.
Ayame smiled in return. "Can't wait! See you tomorrow, Sana-chan!"
"Akito, you better bring your A-game if you want to shine next to me!" Her hand turned into a fist, and she flexed her non-existent bicep muscle at him. Akito snorted, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, whatever."
"See ya later!" Ayame said once more, and they were off.
Akito turned around for a moment while Ayame looked down to her phone. Sana was still staring at them and when she realized he looked back, she gave him a small smile with a tiny wave.
He nodded, ignoring the tumbling in his stomach and the fluttering in his chest.
What if… what if she was not okay?
Back in his room, Akito reached for his phone and fell back onto his bed. He pulled up Sana's contact name and looked keenly at their message thread. Scowling at his phone, his thumb hovered over the keyboard.
Sucking on his teeth, he dropped his phone and sighed roughly.
He was probably overthinking it.
Yeah, that's what it was. There was no way he would have been woken up to her need. And if something was wrong, she probably would have reached out to him, right? That's what happened a few weeks ago. Hell, she called him!
So, there was no need to lose sleep over it.
Yet…
He picked his phone up again and stared at their last conversation. Something stupid about the damn play.
With one last sigh, he scowled deeper and began to type away.
To: Sana
You're going to have to suck it up and see Buka tomorrow. I want sushi.
Delete.
To: Sana
This play is stupid. I'm backing out.
Backspace. Delete.
To: Sana
I can't sleep and I'm pretty sure you're the reason why.
DELETE. DELETE. DELETE.
To: Sana
If you're crying, I told you. I'll be your shoulder to cry on.
Oh God.
Delete. Delete. DELETE GOD DAMMIT.
To: Sana
Yo.
Send.
He groaned, head falling back against the pillow. He dropped his phone on his chest and covered his face with his hands, rubbing them down the length of face.
"So uncool."
There was a buzz on his chest, and he looked down with wide eyes. Reaching for his phone, his eyes squinted as they adjusted to the blue light.
From: Sana
Hi.
A simple reply.
Something was wrong.
To: Sana
You're up pretty late.
From: Sana
Could say the same about you.
To: Sana
Right… what are you doing up anyway?
From: Sana
… Couldn't sleep.
You?
To: Sana
I just… woke up, I guess.
From: Sana
Oh.
To: Sana
I don't know.
From: Sana
So, you decided to text me?
A red hue spread from one cheek, across the bridge of his nose, to the other side. He realized how ridiculous it sounded, didn't it?
Fuck me.
Seriously, fuck me.
To: Sana
Something felt… off.
It took a minute for Sana to respond this time, which strengthened his guess. Akito didn't realize how hard he was glaring at his phone or how tight his grip was until his jaw popped from the clench.
It felt like an eternity before she texted back.
From: Sana
I'm okay.
He glared.
Liar.
To: Sana
I don't believe you.
There was another long pause in her reply, and it took Akito everything in him not to press the call button on his phone. She didn't want to talk? He would make her talk. She was always pushing him, forcing him to face his insecurities and issues, it was only fair he did the same for her.
From: Sana
I don't know what you want me to say.
To: Sana
How about the truth?
From: Sana
… that could take all night.
To: Sana
And?
Akito rubbed his eyes again, setting his phone back on his chest.
He didn't know how this happened. Why was it that the girl he fell for the most complicated of them all? Akito used to think she was so simple minded. He used to think the worst of her. He never realized how much she was holding on to, how much she had endured.
And she got back every single time.
From: Sana
I'm so scared.
I don't want to let anyone down. Everyone's counting on me.
But I don't know if I can do this.
He knew it.
He fucking knew it.
They should have never done this play.
To: Sana
To hell with everyone.
If you don't want to, then you don't have too.
No one can force you to do it.
From: Sana
I can't back out now, Akito.
Everyone's worked too hard.
You've worked too hard.
He could have crushed his phone with the force of his grip. Akito felt a bubbling of frustration in his chest. A scalding heat overcame him, and anger rose in his throat. He could have snarled if it wasn't the middle of the night.
Stupid, stupid, STUPID girl.
Sitting up to the side of his bed, he pressed down on the call button, putting the device to his ear. If they could, he was sure his glare would have burned holes through the flooring of his room.
The phone rang a couple times until finally a soft voice was heard from the other side.
"… hello?"
Her voice sounded so exhausted, so small. It sounded like she had been crying.
"That's a load of bullshit, Sana, and you know it." He whispered harshly into the phone. "Who the hell cares about anybody else? And don't worry about me, do you hear me? The play will go on."
There was a sharp intake of air on the other side of the phone.
"You make it sound like it's so simple!"
"Because it is!" He matched her tone.
Stupid, selfless, self-sacrificing idiot.
A deep breathe on the other end of the phone.
"Akito, I need to do this."
"Why?"
Why? Why did she put herself through this? When it clearly brought her nothing but sorrow and grief? Why did she continue putting herself through this?
"Because I need to make Mama proud. Because I need to make Rei proud. Because I need to make you proud."
He felt the air leave his lungs.
"Because I need to make myself proud." She took another deep breath. "You told me that if I was going to do this, I needed to do it for myself too."
… He did say that, didn't he?
God dammit.
"I just don't know if I can do this by myself." She barely whispered and Akito could hear the pain in her voice. His heart constricted tightly.
"I've always had Rei-kun with me. Since before I started acting, Rei-kun has always been there." Another pause. "I just… I don't – I don't know how to do this without him."
Her sobs broke the phone and Akito felt all his anger leave his body.
Sana's broken cries felt like someone had thrusted their hand into his chest and pulled at the strings of his heart. He could hear her muffled wailing as the grip on his phone tightened. He could feel the power of her grief and Akito closed his eyes, silently understanding her deep sadness.
His research showed him everything he needed to know about her former manager; the man with the sunglasses she loved so much. He read through the articles, the headlines, the videos. Akito saw the affection in her eyes, the way they shined around him. There was an uneasiness in his stomach during his research.
And then he decided… well - it was stupid being jealous of a dead man.
Fuka had warned him about her return to acting, what it could mean, the feelings that could arise. He didn't take it serious at first. He thought Fuka was talking out of her ass.
But after watching Sana the last few weeks, he wished he never disregarded her statement in the first place.
Kurata Sana was the strongest person he knew.
"You're not alone." He spoke softly into the phone. "You're never alone."
He thought of his mom. He thought of the karate trophies that sat untouched in the corner. He thought of the uniform and belt that was stuffed away in the back of his drawer. He thought about Ayame pulling out her softball gear. He thought about Ayame playing again. He thought about Ayame making the team.
"Sunglasses guy is always with you." She was eerily silent on the other side. "At least, that's what people used to tell me about my mom."
A slight chuckle from her and the heaviness on his heart lightened slightly.
He wanted to groan. He wasn't good at this. He wasn't the comforting type. He didn't know what to say or do. But more than anything, he wanted to erase her tears.
"And my sister and all our friends, including Fuka – they are all there for you."
There was a sniffle on the other end of the phone.
"And I don't think I have much of a say at this point."
There was a snort on the other end of the line followed by a soft but sad laughter.
His eyes softened.
"I'd hunt ya down if you tried leaving me now, ya know?"
He felt the tugs at his lips. But instead, he snorted in response. Relief washed over him when he heard the light but joking tone in her voice. It was more like her.
Thank God.
"'Sides. We're partners, right?"
Oh hell.
His cheeks burned, the blush crossing the bridge of his nose.
"… yeah. Partners." Was all that he was able to manage. His voice was gruff, biting on the inside of his cheek. How did Sana have this hold on him like that? He didn't understand.
They shared silence, their collective breathing the only thing audible on the phone.
Did he manage to help her? Was he able to alleviate her sorrow? Her pain? Even in the slightest? He ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what his feelings met and what they make him do.
"Akito…"
At the sound of his name, he pulled himself away from his thoughts.
"Thank you."
It was the simplest of statements but one that made his heart jump.
"I don't know how you knew, but if you hadn't called when you did… I don't know if I would have been able to get out of bed tomorrow. I don't know how I would have had the strength to get up."
He could hear the sincerity in her voice, the gratefulness.
"I dunno about that, Sana." He mumbled, sleep catching up to him. "You're stronger than you think."
"… You think so?"
"Yeah."
No hesitation because it was something he wholeheartedly believed.
"Besides, don't think I would have let you let me do this stupid thing alone."
Cause I only did it for you.
She laughed. Out loud. Without the hint of sadness. There was a twitch in his lips.
"You would have never forgiven me, would you?"
"Hell no. You'd owe me so much sushi."
Another ring of laughter and he sighed in relief. All the pressure he felt, her overwhelming sadness, it felt like an afterthought.
"I'd be forever indebted to you it seems like. Probably not best to leave ya hanging."
Snorting, he shook his head.
Sana being indebted to him forever didn't sound like such a bad idea.
"Well, when you put it like that…"
"Akitooooo -" She groaned, and he smirked.
And then he yawned, sleep finally catching up to him.
"I guess it is late, isn't it?"
"You don't say."
She scoffed, but somehow, he felt like it was followed by a smile.
"Well, then we better get to bed." He heard some shuffling on the other end and he laid down against his pillow, phone still plugged to his ear.
"Hey Akito?"
"Hmm."
"Thank you. For everything."
"Sure."
Her side of the line went quiet, and he felt his eyes starting to droop.
"Akito?"
"Ya." Hear voice was usually not so soft, but tonight, in the whispers of the night, it was the most soothing he heard. It was hard to stay awake. His eyes were feeling incredibly heavy.
"I'm grateful to have a friend like you." It wasn't anything he hadn't heard, so he was kind of confused as to why she brought it up. But, if it made her feel better, then who was he to cut her off?
"The bestest friend even."
His eyes were now closed, and he could almost picture her telling him this in person. She would probably be standing in front of him, arms crossed over her chest, cheeks puffed. They'd probably be red because it was somewhat embarrassing for her.
But she would mean it with complete earnest.
Akito would be whatever she needed him to be.
"Yeah, the best." He muttered sleepily.
He heard a huge sigh of relief on the other end of the phone and the small, conscious part of him wondered why she would be so hesitant to say something like that.
"Good night, Akito."
"Night, Sana."
And the was the last thing he really remembered before sleep overwhelmed him and he fell into a deep slumber, phone clutched at his side, images of a certain auburn-haired girl in his mind.
A/N: *Sigh* I just love this couple so much. I wish they would do a reboot because I feel like them and their story weren't appreciated enough. Anyway, I thought to myself, how could I start the school festival and NOT have a breakdown chapter for Sana? I didn't have this planned, but oh how I loved this chapter. It makes what comes next even better.
Hope you all enjoyed it! As always, reviews, comments, criticism, etc. always welcomed! Next time, the School Festival chapter truly begins!
Till next time!
Dark Waffle