Peggy stays silent until the woman has ascended the steps to the servants quarters.
She walks back slowly to her room, unable to breathe or think or process how the Steve she thought she knew would never…
Never what?
Love a woman who clearly wants him?
Give physical attention to a woman who wants him desperately and isn't too prideful to go after him?
She'd rejected Steve completely. Turned him down flat after his confession. So… she didn't have a right to be so brokenly angry.
And yet here she was, cracking at the seams, silent sobs wracking her body as she lies on her artificially heated bed.
Peggy had stood by as Lorraine had weasled her way into Steve's life and heart and she'd heard the horrid conversation that "she would stay". But… Even with her Steve had held back. Had said he wanted to take his time and not rush their physical intimacy.
And here he was sleeping with the ladies maid.
And a horrible thought fills her, this probably wasn't the first time.
Suddenly she's flinging clothes and shoes and anything within arms reach into the trunk in her dressing room.
She can't even think, just puts whatever she might need. Then she looks at the trunk and realizes that she would have to drag it down the stairs, causing a commotion.
She quickly changes into traveling clothes, forgoing a corset altogether and practically races out to the barn. The night is chilly, and she shivers, but nothing will stop her. She has to go home.
—
Steve is unable to sleep or even look at his bed for the rest of the night. He sits, staring out the window, as the sun begins to lighten the distant sky.
And suddenly he knows he can't stay in this house today. He can't face Lorraine.
So he goes out to the barn and saddles up the first horse he sees and rides to town.
—
He makes it home before his ma has left for her rounds and when she answers the door, her face morphs into vivid concern.
"Steve?" She asks, pulling him forward, "Steve what is it? You look—" she trails off, pushing him down onto the couch and resting a hand on her forehead as if out of habit.
But he can't say it. Can't tell her his shame.
"Steve, please, what's going on? Is it Peggy, is she alright?"
Peggy. His heart clenches at the name, but he just shuts his eyes, unable to speak.
"Speak to me, Steve, tell me what's happened?"
But he just shakes his head and stares at the ground.
—-
After more attempts of getting information out of him yields nothing, she sets a hot cup of tea by his side and presses a soft kiss to his forehead, "I have to go now, Steve, but I'll be back alright? You just stay here."
Once she's gone he walks numbly to his room and lays down on the now far too small bed. His exhaustion from no sleep takes over and he falls into unconsciousness.
—-
Peggy rides hard, harder and faster than she's ever pushed a horse before. She's thankful for the small village where she feeds and waters her horse, having had enough presence of mind to bring her purse. Thankfully she's on her way again after a rest and she presses her heels into the flanks, urging him faster.
—-
"Steve?"
He flinches awake, staring at blue eyes that look deeply concerned.
"Buck?"
"Yeah, it's me, what's going on?"
Steve shoves his head back into his pillow and falls silent again.
"Oh, no, stop hiding. Your mom stopped by the shop and told me about your appearance, she's real worried, what's happening?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
He can hear the frown in Bucky's tone, "Steve, what happened, come on, I'm your best friend, you can tell me."
His brain sets the memories of her grabbing him through his shorts and pressing her chest up against his back and his stomach rolls. He feels sick, "no. I can't."
"Why the hell not?"
"Because I don't want to."
Bucky rests a hand on his neck unexpectedly and he flinches at the touch. Bucky pulls his hand back quickly, "what was that?"
"Just startled me." Steve lies.
"Steve, what is going on, is it Peggy? What did she do?"
"Nothing." Steve snaps, face still buried in the pillow. "She didn't do anything."
"Then what!" Bucky responds angrily, "you're acting like someone died!" Steve gets off the bed, rubbing at his eyes and walking out towards the living room. Bucky follows close behind, tugging in his arm. "Steve, where are you going?"
"Back to the house. I shouldn't have come here."
"Steve, stop!" Bucky's strong, but he's nothing compared to Steve anymore. He yanks his hand out of his friend's grasp.
"Tell my ma, I'm fine, and I'm sorry for worrying her." Then he's out the door and back on his horse.
—
Steve gets back to the barn, unsaddles the horse and slips quietly into the house, avoiding any approaching heartbeat and making it to his room without seeing another person. He locks his door behind him and he stares at the bed. It's been made and arranged since he's been gone and just thinking of Lorraine making his bed makes him feel ill.
But he doesn't know where else to go, or what else to do, so he sits on the edge and stares out the windows.
—
When he wakes the next day, he steps to the kitchens quietly, wanting to grab something quick when mr. Coulson stops him, hands fidgeting with his hat.
"What is it Coulson?"
"It's Ms. Carter sir. She took a horse sometime yesterday, and she hasn't returned."
He racks his brain, trying to think if he'd noticed another horse missing when he'd left early that yesterday.
"Did she say where she was going?"
"She didn't talk to anyone, she was gone when I went to feed them, as was the horse you rode."
Worry blossoms in his chest, "you're sure she didn't leave a note in her room?"
"I asked Ms. Davies-" Steve tries not to stiffen at the mention of her name, "but she didn't see one."
Steve looks about and then nods towards the barn, "if she's left yesterday… maybe she's staying at the village inn?"
Coulson's brow furrows, "why would she do that?"
He shrugs, "I'm not sure. But she couldn't have left the village—" he stops, Coulson looking at him with a wary expression, "you don't think she'd leave the village do you?"
"I don't think it's my place to say." Coulson says quietly, making the concern in Steve ratchet up a notch.
"She wouldn't! She wouldn't risk the Watchers."
Coulson doesn't respond. Leaving Steve with a nod of his head and not a lot of confidence in his last statement.
—-
Peggy makes it to her home in record time. She slides off the horse, legs wobbly from the harsh ride and uses the saddle to keep her on her feet. She leads the horse to the barns and walks slowly towards the house.
She makes it inside before one of the kitchen maids sees her and welcomes her warmly. "My lady! You're back so soon! Welcome, I didn't know we were expecting you."
"You weren't." Peggy says hoarsely, throat parched. "May I have some water?"
"Of course!" The woman disappears and reappears quickly with a glass, "Is your husband out with the carriage?"
Peggy shakes her head and the woman's body stiffens. Travel outside of the village without your unification spouse is expressly forbidden.
Her voice is more cautious now, "did you bring the carriage?"
Her eyes are roaming Peggy's disheveled state and Peggy shakes her head, "no I rode my own horse."
The woman's eyes go wide and she squeaks, "let me go get a bath drawn for you."
Peggy sags, "yes, thank you, and a change of clothes please."
She finds Falsworth. "Mrs. Rogers." The man says a bit urgently, "what are you doing here without Mr. Rogers?"
She waves her hand, "please, send a message to Michael will you? Tell him to come quickly?"
He frowns at her but nods, "my dear, what has caused you to behave so rashly?"
"It's a long story, but please, don't mention to anyone outside the house I'm here. I don't want my father in trouble. Or—" She frowns and the man nods and disappears.
—-
She's out of the bath and dressed by the time Michael arrives in a frenzy.
"Peggy!" She hears him call through the door, "are you in there?"
"Come in." She calls, brushing her slightly damp hair away from her forehead.
He enters, and comes to her side, sitting on his heels beside her vanity, "what happened? Why are you here? And without Steve?" She frowns at his name, glaring at herself in the mirror. "What, what is it?"
She sighs. "I was going to tell him I wanted to stay." Her face screws up and she covers it with her hands, not wanting to cry.
His hand rests on her shoulder, "going to?"
She nods miserably, "I wrote to you even, telling you I was going to, but…" she pictures Lorraine's pale skin reflecting the candlelight as she moved undressed through the hall. "Then I was informed of my foolishness."
"I'm lost, Peggy, start from the beginning."
She leans forward, resting her elbows on the dark wood, "I thought about it for days after your wedding, I kept going back and forth and then, my ladies maid, Lorraine said something horrid to Steve about him not being enough for me to stay, and I—" she feels her throat close, choking out her next words, "he looked so hurt because he thought it was true." She cries, resting her arm on the desk and her face in the crook of her elbow. "He looked so heartbroken the next day and so I decided that you were right. That I did love him and and that I wanted to stay. To give life with him a try." She laughs bitterly, "when you read my letter you'll see how foolishly I let my heart lead! I thought he—"
She lets out an angry sound from her throat, wiping the traitorous tears as they flow.
"You thought he what?" Michael asks.
"That he still loved me!"
His head tilts, "Peggy, he does, I saw the way he looked or attempted to avoid looking at you at the wedding. And that was barely two weeks ago, he's smitten."
"No." She rasps, "he's not." She turns to him and her fury rises, "I turned him down weeks and weeks ago and he's moved on. You know how I'm aware? My ladies maid alerted me to their 'rendezvous' in the middle of the night!"
His eyes go wide, "what!"
"That very day I wrote that letter to you, stating my intentions, I received a note that I should come to his room from Lorraine. As I did so, she exited his room, disheveled and naked!"
She waits for him to explode, to curse Steve's name or be upset at the least, but instead he just looks at her wearily. "Peggy."
"What!"
"Have you considered for even a second that you've been had?"
Her mind reels, angry that he's not as upset as she, "what could you possibly mean by that!?"
"This is the woman you told me about at the wedding, yes? The one with the baking lessons and the ridiculously insinuating flirtatious comments?"
Peggy frowns, "yes."
"And you think it's a coincidence that the very day you decide to state your intentions that she alerts you to their supposed 'intimate' moments? Let me guess, does she take the post?"
She shakes her head, "no, she doesn't take the post. I wrote and sealed that letter and handed it to Steve actually, to take to the village."
"There's no way she could have seen it?"
"No, I—" Peggy stops, eyes going a mile away as she remembers having written two letters. One having been deposited in her small trash can by her desk. Lorraine removes her trash. Her mouth goes into a 'o' shape, "that bitch!"
Michael laughs "what revelation have you made?"
"I spilled some ink on the first draft and threw it away! She must have pulled it from my bin!"
"And what does that make you think?"
Peggy's mind races, then halts. "That still doesn't explain why she left his room naked and with lipstick smudged all over her face."
He nods slowly, "that's true, but have you asked him? From the way you describe her, I don't see her giving him the option. And isn't he used to you crawling into his bed?" He raises an accusatory eyebrow and she glares at him. But she does see his point. He rests a hand on her shoulder, "you've known this man now for the better part of a year. Ask yourself, is this something Steve would do? Would he profess his love to you and then turn and sleep with another woman?" Peggy has to admit that it does seem wildly out of character. "And I'll be honest, even if it is true…" he makes an apologetic face, "you did turn him down quite harshly. He's not beholden to you if you don't consider yourself actually married."
"I know that." She admits through gritted teeth, "I just…"
"You thought he'd wait for you forever? That he'd live a lonely existence hoping forever for you to change your mind?"
"Michael—"
"Margaret."
She huffs and crosses her arms over her chest, "I hate when you make me feel like a petulant child."
"Only when you act that way, love."
She rolls her eyes but looks at him sideways, hope that had been crushed just over a day ago blossoming, "you really think she created a farce?"
He taps the ring she's wearing on her finger. "Being with Steve would give her access to a lot of perks, especially if you two remain married but not 'together'. You are both wealthy, in a lovely house. He's now powerful, physically and in the village politics. He's easy on the eyes—" he winks and she laughs weakly, "She'd stand to benefit."
Peggy bites the inside of her cheek, "I rode here so fast. I didn't even stop to think. I was so rash."
"So in love, you mean."
"Hush."
"But Peggy, you being here without Steve, it's—"
"I know. I wasn't even thinking. They didn't cross my mind til I was half way here."
"Well let me go home, I'll talk to Lily, and how about I escort you home? I've always wanted to see Acemira."
She lights up, "you really mean it? You would come back with me?"
He laughs, "of course, you're my little sister. I'll not being having you caught alone. Your wild one woman ride here was dangerous enough."
"I took the back roads in."
"Smart. But let's get you back to your house before anyone starts to talk."
She nods and he leaves, leaving her a bit of time.
—-
Her father is anxious and agitated when he gets home, finding her there.
"I'm going." She says crisply, "I'm going back, I promise not to get you in trouble."
"Me?" He asks incredulously, "I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you!"
"Me?" She asks, "I promise no one outside this house knows I'm here."
"You better hope it stays that way." He says with an anxious frown, "your friend, the mayor's son, has been quite vocal to the council about what you would spout at school."
She winces, back when she was younger and less wise about who she complained too.
"What is he saying?"
"Well, you announced your appeal publicly, and he's been using that to ensure people know about your long standing distaste for the tradition, so any behavior out of the realm of acceptable is getting close to dissension. If they knew you were here now—" his face grows serious and slightly panicked, "the Watchers would be sent for sure."
She grinds her teeth, knowing Fred was that petty but still feeling surprised. "Why haven't I been told about this?"
Michael grimaces, "we didn't know until recently, and you and Steve seemed to be getting along so we thought we'd wait…"
"You need to go." Her father says in a hurry, "your mother is at her sister's, and I won't mention your visit here. She'd have a fit."
Peggy nods and steps quickly into the carriage that is at the back door.
—
Steve is staring at the library walls, all the books and knowledge and information at his fingertips. But nothing to help them with the current situation.
Peggy's been gone for almost 3 days and they have a wedding in 2. If she wasn't there… they would be put under Watch. Mr. Coulson has been subtly and quietly checking in the inns in the village and surrounding areas but so far no luck.
He groans and scrubs a hand through his hair. If she went to Eporue…
He hopes not, refusing to believe she'd put both of them in that position.
His mind races, trying to think of something, anything that could help. But his eyes just catch on the books. All the research and studying they've been doing to try to get out of their marriage—-
His mind freezes. A solution so perfect, so simple that he gasps, sucking in a breath of disbelief, racing out the door and sprinting towards the Starks.
—
Peggy and Michael pull up to the house and get out of the carriage. Peggy hears the front door open and she turns, expecting to see Steve, but it's Mr. Coulson.
"Ms. Carter!" He calls, relief over his face, "you're back! Thank heavens."
"Yes, I'm back, sorry for my absence." She says with an apologetic tone, "I hope it didn't cause too many problems."
"No problems, ma'am. Just worry."
She looks up to see Ms. Nancy at the front door, smiling and waving.
Her eyes go past her to Lorraine who is standing behind the older woman, a frown on her face.
Peggy narrows her eyes.
Michael clears his throat and Peggy startles. "Oh, yes, Mr. Coulson, this is my brother, Michael Carter.
"Pleasure to meet you." He says kindly, bowing his head.
"Same," Michael replies, "excited to see how the other half lives."
They walk inside and Peggy leads Michael to one of the many guest rooms. "Here, you can sleep here tonight and be on your way tomorrow. Do you want to see the village?"
"I would, but—" he looks around as they exit back into the hallway, "where's Steve?"
Peggy heads to the kitchens and asks Ms. Nancy.
"He went sprinting out of here hours ago," the old woman says and she kneads dough against the wooden counter, "I saw him take off running like the devil was chasing him. Haven't seen him since."
Michael eyes her curiously and she shrugs, "I suppose maybe we will see him at dinner?"
Peggy notices that Lorraine acts perfectly normal. As if nothing was out of the ordinary. And Peggy does the same, biding her time until she can speak to Steve.
—
"But you think they'd agree?"
"Steve, what you're proposing is a massive shift. I mean, I think it's brilliant, a great plan, but you're going to have to convince the councils of both villages, and that will be tough to do."
"But they'll have to see the genius of it! The benefits!"
"I think they will, but it's still a massive project."
"I know, but I have to try, for her if not for any other reason. I promised I'd try."
Howard looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he huffs, "you know you've got my support."
Steve smiles, "thanks Howard! I'll be back if she agrees!"
He waves and is back outside sprinting back towards the house.
—-
It's dark when he turns into the driveway, taking long strides as he gets closer. The lights of the house illuminate the darkness and he can see the lights on in the library.
She must be back.
He spurs on faster.
—-
Peggy hears the front door open and a voice call her name.
"Peggy?"
"Steve!" She calls, elated at the sound, "we're in the library!"
She hears his footfalls towards them and she feels a sense of giddiness about possibly telling him tonight. If of course she gets to the bottom of Lorraine.
He enters through the door, something about him buzzing with excitement.
"Peggy!" He says with a smile, then his eyes catch her brother, "Michael! What a surprise!"
Her brother laughs, "I know, I apologize for dropping in."
"No apologies necessary, I'm glad to have you visit." Steve turns to her, and firm and determined look on his face. "Peggy—"
The way he's looking at her. So sure and earnest. Her heart leaps at the thought he might ask her to stay again. And she feels a bud of joy at the thought that she would get to tell him yes. "Yes?" She asks hopefully.
"I figured it out."
Her brow furrows. Not exactly what she was expecting him to say.
"Figured out…?" She trails off, unsure.
"A solution." He says, looking at her, something in his expression telling her she's supposed to be happy about his next words, "a solution for the villages. So we can end this fake marriage, so you can be free."
She hears the uncomfortable clearing of Michael's throat, but she can't respond or do anything. Feeling her world tip out of balance once again.