Warning for talk of suicide. If triggered by suicidal topics, please avoid this chapter!
Hey guys! Fiftieth chapter! That's pretty exciting to me so I'll do my best to make this a good one.
XXX
Ten (ish) months ago
The sky was bright over their heads. The lazy clouds were stained bloody by the retreating of the sun as it slowly tumbled into the ocean, setting the world alight with one last show of color.
The entire crew raised their glasses to the sun, cheering it in celebration as it headed home for the night.
Let it be known that the Whitebeards needed little, or any, cause to celebrate. But today was a special occasion. Today was the day Ace officially joined them. Eventually, through constant non-stop fighting, Ace and Whitebeard seemed to come to some type of understanding through exchanging blows, well through Ace taking the attacks. Over the course of the weeks, Ace's murderous ambushes lost their intensity and became more and more like sparring which Oyaji seemed to enjoy. Even in his old age, the man loved the action.
Once Ace began to settle into his life in captivity his whole demeanor changed. His personality went from a feral stray cat to a genuinely friendly young man who, while could still be hesitant and guarded, was protective, and loyal and brave, and occasionally naive.
One month in, Ace had risked his life for some of the weaker members. That was when Whitebeard decided that not only was Ace going to be one of them, but he was going to be one of their leaders.
Now if they could only get him to value himself enough to stop throwing himself in front of the gunfire….
"This is all for me?" Ace asked when Thatch came and got him for the party.
"Why are you being bashful now?" Izou laughed at his expression. "You were hassling the cooks in the kitchen all day."
"It smelled so good," Ace said, still looking around the massive deck in shock. The crew had collected here, glasses raised, ready for a wild night.
"Then eat it!" Thatch advised. "Go wild, kid. I've seen you eat."
Ace opened his mouth, then closed it, before shrugging. "Yeah?"
"YES!"
"If you say so." He didn't need any further encouragement to dig into the feast in front of him.
The crew was efficient. It only took an hour for them to get drunk, two to get smashed, and in three hours most of them were blackout, rolling around the floor like idiots and laughing hysterically at everything.
"Ace!" Thatch put his hand on the younger teen's shoulder, at least he tried, but he missed by several feet and grabbed the air beside him. Marco, stone-cold sober, grabbed Thatch's wrist and dropped it onto his intended target.
Ace looked up, a fishtail halfway in his mouth.
"Ye-ahg," he swallowed it. "You said I could eat everything."
"Not that-," Thatch said. "I wanted to ask you-u-
"Oh, this ought to be good," Vista said as he walked by, rolling his eyes at Thatch's drunken antics. Not that he was much better, as a few steps later he ran into a wall.
"Okay Ace," Thatch tried again, moving to sit beside him. "I always wanted to ask, but before you were kinda-,"
"A jerk?" Ace wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
"Your words, not mine."
Ace laughed. "Yeah, sorry. I didn't know you guys."
"I've seen you, you're not unkind to strangers," Marco said.
"Just you guys," Ace agreed as he reached for another plate. Alcohol and the atmosphere had done wonders in loosening his tongue. No wonder Thatch had waited to talk to him until after his sixth pint.
"Why us?"
Ace shrugged again, "-Too nice," he said between bites. "-Don't trust people who are too nice. 'N – you guys make me nervous."
"What did you think we were going to do?" Marco asked, bewildered.
Ace gestured around him at the party. "This."
"You're scared of parties," Thatch teased.
"No, the party's fun! You made so much food. Oh, my gosh, is that octopus?"
"So, what is it then?" Marco pressed when it became clear Ace had lost the thread of the conversation.
"Oh- you guys like me," Ace's nose crinkled as if he didn't like the idea.
"You like us too, don't you?" Thatch said, trying to sober up enough for the turn this conversation had taken. "Otherwise- wh- why did you- say yes?"
"Yeah, sure," Ace said it easily. Like that was obvious. "But you 're fine with me now, so it's fine. I just don't think it's really okay for me to be on your ship, and when you realize it for yourselves, then all this-" he gestured around them, "- is going to be over. And it'll be worse than if you guys just left me alone."
Marco sort of understood his drunken ramble. Against his better judgment, Ace was going along with them, but he expected to be thrown out, eventually. And the abandonment would be worse the longer they waited.
Thatch's frown grew. "That's so depressing," he groaned. "You're running my buzz."
"Yeah," Ace agreed. "I should know better. But something about you guys," he shrugged again. "You remind me of my-… someone important. And I want to trust you. So, I guess I'm going to. And when ya' toss me out it's okay - I get it."
"I think there was a compliment in there somewhere," Marco said dryly. "Why are we tossing you out? We're you the one who put a giant bird's nest in my bed?"
"No." Ace shook his head before remembering himself. "Oh- well, yeah," he laughed. "Sorry- Thatch got like five of us to help him put it together. You're going to toss me out because of R-" he stopped himself mid-sentence. "Oh, my god!" Ace raised his nearly empty pint glass, looking inside it. "What's in this?"
"Lots of alcohol," Marco said.
"That would do it," Ace nodded. "Whatever, let's worry about it later, okay? I guess I think that it will be worth it to hang out with you guys more." He laughed. "I like you- and I've never had - so many people who wanted me around before. It's nice. So, are we okay for now?"
Despite himself, Marco smiled. "Yeah," he told the drunk teenager. "This is fine."
When he went back to his food, Thatch started to hassle him again. "I wanted to ask you something!"
"And that wasn't it!"
"No," the man laughed, spilling part of his drink as he did so. "That was Marco's question. He doesn't understand why you're so- you know…."
"Self-sacrificing," Marco said. Thatch waved his arms. "Stop hijacking my questions." He thought for a moment. "No, I guess that's an important one."
"Pass," Ace said, tipping his drink back.
"Fine, fine- I wanted to ask you- or drunk you, what are you doing here. You're so young to be a pirate. Even younger to have been a captain. You don't want power or wealth, or even friends, no offense-. So what made you decide to become an enemy of the world?"
Ace actually laughed. "I was going to be a criminal no matter what I did. May as well choose it then have it chosen for me."
"I don't know what that means," Thatch admitted.
"Can't we talk about this later?" Ace asked. "I'm too drunk for this."
"Will you answer if you're not drunk?"
Ace laughed a genuine one. "You guys are so weird." The idea seemed to make him happy. "No," said, and laughed again. "No way."
"So, what do you want then?" Thatch asked. "What are you after?"
"Honesty?" Ace raised his glass again and Thatch leaned forward. "-You make a killer grilled meat dish."
Marco sighed. Elusive as ever.
"But seriously, -" Thatch tried.
"What am I supposed to say," Ace was still laughing like this whole thing was the funniest thing he had ever heard. "The blood of my enemies? The perfect grilled cheese? The world's supply of seafood?"
"If that's the truth," Marco said."
"Fine." Ace put his drink down. He wasn't laughing anymore. "You first."
"I want to stay with Oyaji," Marco said without missing a beat. "To help him look after my sisters and brothers."
"Same-," Thatch said. "I want to live freely as a pirate, fighting with and cooking for my family."
"Damn," Ace said. "I really didn't think you would answer."
"And you?"
He looked like he regretted making the deal. "Pass."
"Denied," Marco told him. "Come on, as of today, we're crewmates. You can trust us with this much, yeah?"
"Fine, you guys are nosy- geez." He raised his glass one last time. "-I just want an answer."
"To what?"
"I just want someone to tell me, if after everything, all the death and destruction, I want to know if it was worth it."
"Worth what?" Thatch asked, and Ace shrugged.
"I don't even know. All this." He wasn't making sense. "I want to know if I was worth it." A frown tugged on his mouth as he thought about it. "Can I tell you something?"
"Why stop now," Thatch advised, trying once again to reach for Ace, only to miss again.
"You can't tell anyone okay," Ace said, still completely plastered. Thatch shook his pinky in a solid swear… Thatch was equally plastered. "I've never told anyone- not even… but I think I L'ready know the answer- and' m just lying to myself. Because I can't be right? Right?" He was asking Marco now, his grey eyes wide with the need to know. As if Marco could somehow tell him. "So, then, what's the point of me? But otherwise, it's such a waste, right? All that sweat and blood for what- me. Why? I don't want it. I didn't ask for this."
"You're making no sense," Thatch said. But somehow Marco thought he understood.
I just want to know if I could ever be worth it.
"That was so stupid!" Vista was screaming in Ace's ear. Halfway between hugging him and shaking the life out of him. He wasn't alone, as three of the pirates in Ace's division looked over the burnt chaos with anger.
Marco just sighed. What a mess.
"You could have died," Ai, the second division crew mate took over Vista's screaming. "What happened to back up?"
Ace winced, his shaky hands fumbling for Vistas. "Stop yelling," he complained. "It's hurting my head."
"Good!" Vista snapped. You deserve it. "What we're you thinking- charging in like that. There were way too many for you to take on your own."
Ace looked around at the still-smoking carnage of the ship. "Apparently not," he was smiling.
Vista let him go, raising his arms in surrender. "I give up," he told the world. "I officially give up, Marco can you fix his head so I can keep screaming at him?"
Marco's frown grew as he gestured for the group to stand aside. Ace looked like he had a concussion. Blood dripping from a gash somewhere on his head. The entire side of his face was covered with it. That plus, Ace kept wincing at the noise.
"You're certifiable," Marco told him, and Ace smiled up at him like that was a compliment. He helped the young man sit down against the wall. "Next time Oyaji tells us to wait- that means you too."
"Am I in trouble?" Ace wasn't taking this seriously at all.
"Yes." Marco lied. In truth, Ace's antics always amused their father more than anything. "Seriously, they got you good. This wouldn't have happened if you just had backup."
"Nah-" Ace said, "It's dangerous down here."
He had been trying to protect them. Sometimes Marco doubted Ace understood that he was the younger brother.
"-Sides," he continued. "They insulted Oyaji, and we can't have that."
-and there was that. Ace was defensive of their captain. A drastic change from when they first met.
Marco wasn't amused. "What if you had died," he tried. "What would we have done?" He searched the teen's hair. "This is pretty bad."
"M' not going to die… probably. I'm not supposed too at least." That was the concussion talking.
"You're not immortal, if that's what you think," Marco said, and Ace laughed again before wincing as the man pressed a cloth against the wound. "So- stop trying to get yourself killed."
"Thank god for that," he said. "And I'm not trying to die. It's just really heavy."
Marco lifted the cloth, but Ace shook his head. "No. It's like- like." He touched his shoulders, trying to show him. "It gets too heavy sometimes. Like there's this weight- and if I think too much about it, then it'll crush me."
"So, you can't take backup because-?"
"It helps," Ace said. "You guys… everyone- they help. I just don't want anything to happen to you guys. Not when it should have been me. Not if I can do something about it."
Marco's frown grew. "You've got some messed up thoughts in there."
Ace just shrugged. "It's okay." He promised. "I don't mind."
-"It's better this way."
XXX
Marco couldn't sleep. No surprise after everything that had happened. He was supposed to wake Izou, and then Haruta, and Jozu up for their guard shifts, but he didn't bother. There was no way he was going to get any sleep after that. A great many things suddenly made sense- about Ace. About everything.
I just want to know if I could ever be worth it.
It gets too heavy sometimes. If I think too much about it, then it'll crush me.
I don't matter- nothing about me matters.
Like a puzzle all coming together at once.
And when you toss me out it's okay - I get it.
Why don't you ever just let me go!
It's such a waste, right? All that sweat and blood for what- me. Why? I don't want it. I didn't ask for this.
Ace had lived his entire life thinking he was less than human. Because of his blood- because of the crimes of his father… Roger.
Marco thought of Roger, his wide smiles, fearless, loyal and stubborn to a fault. There was a resemblance- but only just. It wasn't his fault he didn't realize sooner- Ace was so different from the man, aside from a few shared personality traits.
Marco had never given any thought to the rumors that Roger had a kid. He figured that if it was true, the military would have handled it. They must have tried.
All that sweat and blood for what- me. Why?
Ace understood everything that happened with terrifying clarity. And he didn't want what Roger had given him. He didn't want his lineage, or his legacy, or the crushing weight that came along with being the Pirate King's son.–Some days it seemed like he didn't even want his life. Because he kept trying to throw it away.
The entire time he had been with the Whitebeards, he was just waiting. Waiting for them to turn on him, waiting for them to reject him–possibly violently. He had been waiting- for this. Ace had been trying to get them to turn on him tonight because he had always known this was coming. Not in this way. But the entire time, he must have been steeling his resolve for this moment. The moment they turned on him.
And when you toss me out it's okay - I get it.
He had literally already told them he understood. To him, it seemed like the logical move.
And despite everything, Marco felt his anger rise- at Ace for being an idiot, at himself for assuming that things wouldn't end like this despite Ace's warnings, but most of all at Teach. It didn't have to be like this! Nothing had to go this way. But Teach, no, he had to twist everything around- make it bad and dark. He had to go after Ace, blackmail him with his biggest weakness. He made Ace betray them. He forced all of their hands- like a puppet master on a stage.
And, perhaps worst of all, Luffy. Like Teach hadn't already done enough damage, he had gone after Luffy. Whatever trust Ace had for them, whatever amount of care he had for his own life, and his endless capacity for friendship- Marco was pretty sure he had gotten from his brothers. They meant everything to him. And right now, Ace was leaning hard on them because they were, once again, the only people he trusted.
And that scared Marco for several reasons. The biggest one being that if they lost Luffy, then they lost Ace. At least that's what Sabo thought- and when it came to Ace, Marco trusted his judgment.
Luffy was dying.
There was no getting around that. He should be dead already, but he had Ace's level of stubbornness. Marco could only guess how long that was going to last. The strength Luffy had- just a few days ago, upstairs in the hallway as he fought against Marco's hold, trying to get back to Ace. That was gone now. Draining out of him day by day.
In Marco's medical opinion, Luffy had another two days- maybe three. A week if they could get him serious medical attention. But even then… he just didn't know.
It was like watching a shipwreck in slow motion. Marco could see it' on a collision course with the rocks just over the horizon. But no matter what he did, he was helpless to change the ships course.
Things couldn't end like this. He wouldn't let them. Marco didn't want to live in a world where Teach got his way. Where the world caved into every one of his desires, as he lied, murdered, kidnapped, tortured and backstabbed his way into power.
Where his brothers and sisters lost crewmate after crewmate just to fail in every possible way- betrayed by their own.
Where Thatch had to go through everything, he did just to watch it all fall apart.
And then there was Luffy. He had survived things grown men couldn't dream about. Marco had no doubt that if he had been allowed to grow up, he would have been breathtaking- at whatever he decided to do: Marine, outlaw, something in between. But Teach wouldn't leave him alone, and for whatever reason, the world government couldn't seem to allow that. So Luffy had, somehow, held on through everything because he chose to believe that Ace was alive- and coming for him. For what- just long enough to die, slowly and painfully in his brothers' arms. While everyone looked on, unable to help.
Luffy was going to break Thatch's heart now- because Thatch was a soft-hearted idiot with a weakness for kids, who had made the mistake of getting too close to Luffy. Not that Marco could blame him under the circumstances.
More than anything, Marco didn't want an innocent child to die because of Whitebeard's war with Teach. Especially not the person their littlest brother had raised.
-and Ace. God. What were they supposed to do about him? They had spent months earning his trust, trying to assure him they weren't going to betray him. Marco had basically promised that everything that had happened- would never happen. But it was worse than that. Ace hadn't just gotten rejected by them- Teach made him betray them and then he revealed Ace's biggest secret. Like adding acid to the already bleeding wound. And Ace couldn't even give the whole mess his attention because with everything going on- he just didn't have time to care as much as he would have. Not when all of their lives were at stake. Not when he was terrified for his brother.
While Marco couldn't understand what it felt like to be Roger's son, he knew what Ace and Sabo felt now. They loved each other- they loved Luffy. Marco knew what it felt like to love someone so much- to want to protect them so badly, that you felt their pain as if it was your own. It hurt so much.
So caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't notice Izou move until he crossed the short distance to sit against the wall beside Marco.
"I couldn't sleep."
Marco said nothing, looking ahead of them at the abandoned hallway. They all, well aside from Thatch, who took all the sleep he could get, were having problems that night. But they couldn't exactly talk about what had happened. Not with Ace just a few feet away. His arms were wrapped around his brothers, Luffy straight against his chest. -Marco needed to check him again. He had been putting it off because… well, he just didn't want to know. He still hadn't figured out if he was going to lie to Ace or not about Luffy. On one hand, it was unethical. On the other, it might save Ace's life.
"I wish Oyaji was here," Izou said, echoing Marco's exact thoughts.
"Same," Marco said. As the first division commander, and one of the most experienced, he was no stranger to acting in his father's place. But this situation was getting out of control. And Marco was used to- out of control. He just wanted to try and make things right- after all of the hurt. In a way only Oyaji knew how.
"I hope he hurries it up," Izou continued. "Because he's late- and Pops is never late." Not when it mattered." Marco had been trying not to think about that. He sighed, "What are we going to do?"
Marco had been dreading those words. But not half as much as these. "-There's nothing to do." Not really. "Stay ahead of the marines."
Izou gestured to where Ace lay, hugging his brothers even in sleep. "What about the kid?"
Marco just shook his head, his eyes fixed on the hallway ahead of them. It diverged into two paths- both disappearing into darkness. "You don't want to know."
Izou frowned. "What does that mean?"
"If there is a way to save him- I'll find it," Marco said.
"If," Izou echoed. "We owe Ace at least this, don't we?"
"Yeah," Marco said. "Yeah, we do." But life could be cold. And what should happen and what did happen were two different things. "It's not going to matter."
"Are you giving up now?" Izou said, and there was venom in his voice. "That's not like you. Why, because you're mad at Ace?"
Marco knew he didn't mean that. The situation was tense, even for the calm-headed Izou. "I'm not mad at Ace. Everything he did, he did because he didn't have a choice."
"Then why are you just giving up?" Izou said, his voice urgent. "You don't seem to think Thatch is a lost cause, right? How is the kid any different?"
"It's different," Marco said.
"Why? Because Thatch is one of us?"
Thatch was most likely going to be fine. He needed rest, food, medical treatment, and months of recovery. The abdominal bruising was worrisome and would need to be treated as soon as possible. But it wasn't the same. Thatch's internal organs were still functioning. Thatch was eating. Thatch could stay awake longer than half an hour.
"Luffy's not Kiku." Marco told him, feeling exhaustion settle deep into his bones. Mistaking them right now was going to end terribly.
"I never said he was!" Izou said, angry now, and Marco couldn't help but wonder what Izou was thinking. If he was going through the possibilities of alternate futures. Seeing the possibly of Teach going after him instead of Ace, using his little sibling as bait against his family. He could probably understand then- on some level- what Ace was dealing with.
"If it were," Izou said, his voice lower now. "Would you give up on him too?"
Marco sighed, leaning over to put his arm over his brother's shoulder. If Izo was lashing out, it was because this was hitting far too close. "Never," Marco promised. "I know this is hard for you but I'm not giving up on anyone. You didn't see this, but Luffy has multiple organ failure. He's been dealing with it for a while. His body can't take the stress of his injuries and it's starting to shut down."
"So?" Izo said. "This isn't about me, or Kiku, or Ace, or anything like that. You have an amazing ability? Is this really beyond you? I've seen you do the impossible. Why can't you do that now."
"I'm trying. But if Luffy's lungs fail, I can't breathe for him and if his heart stops, we can't convince it to keep beating." It was as simple as that. "In the meantime, he is in a lot of pain." The marines made sure of that. "He's doing a good job hiding it, but it's hard to fight death when it's all you can focus on."
Izou was silent for a long moment. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for."
"No, I do. You are the last person I should be taking my anger out on. I'm just…"
"Angry," Marco finished for him. He understood all too well.
"What are we going to do?" Izou asked again, sliding further down the wall.
Marco just shook his head. Oyaji hadn't let them down yet. "Wait for Captain's orders." Aside from that… "There's nothing else to do."
-CRASH
A loud noise from the hallway had them both sitting up. "What was that?" Izou asked. "The marines."
Marco shook his head. "A ways off still- I don't feel anyone. A rat maybe."
"Must be a pretty giant rat."
Marco rose. "I'll go check it out, stay here."
"Be careful," Izou warned him. "I've got a bad feeling."
XXX
Luffy was wandering down the deserted passageways of the hold. His bare feet were silent against the stone. The usual pain was far off, like a dull phantom ache being held back by flood gates.
There were feelings- warnings that seemed to swirl around him, but he tried his best to ignore them. Because the more alert aware he became, the more he felt the pain, so he preferred to stay right here, safely tucked away from all of that.
Safe- Protected- Familiar
Something told him. It was okay. It was all okay. He was being taken care of. He could just stay here, oblivious- if not for the second nagging feeling. Another warning, fainter this time. Like the signal was too weak.
Unlike the first feeling, which was warm and full of love, security, and familiarity, this was so much darker.
Luffy tried to ignore it, to stay oblivious. It was okay. They wouldn't let anything happen to him. He could stay asleep.
DANGER
The warning came louder this time, like an alarm in his head, threatening to rip him out of this space. He tried to ignore it- to sink below everything.
DANGER
RUN
RUN
It was getting closer- he could feel it. He could feel him. That impossibly dark presence stalking them. Something that he had only caught hints of earlier.
"There's nowhere you can go that they won't find you."
"There's no one you love that I can't kill."
That was his promise. He was going to take everything- everything Luffy had left.
NO! He wouldn't let him
STOP
No longer fighting the pull of exhaustion, Luffy struggled against it, feeling the waves of pain crash into him as he fought his way to the surface. NO-No-No
Someone was holding him back.
So tightly that he could hardly struggle.
DANGER
He had gotten Luffy. He was going to kill him- kill everyone.
He was here!
XXX
Sabo woke up to the feeling of Luffy struggling beside him. He was faster to wake than Ace, who was absolutely exhausted.
"No!" Luffy panted, trying to sit up.
"Shh," Sabo tried, wrapping his arm gently around him. "Lu it's okay. You're dreaming."
"NO!" Luffy said louder as he shoved Sabo back. His attacks were kitten-like and there was no real power.
"No!" Luffy snapped again. "LET GO!" He was going to wake up everyone.
Sabo looked over at Ace, who sleepily sat up, "What's wrong?"
Sabo just shook his head, holding Luffy against his chest despite his little brother's struggles. He laid his cheek on Luffy's head, "shh, it's us Lu. Calm down."
True to Sabo's fears, he had started waking up everyone else as well. One of the pirates, Izo, was already awake and came over.
"Nightmare?"
"I think so," Sabo said while Ace stared at his ex-crew mate, silently. Sabo held Luffy's cheeks between his hands, waiting a second for his eyes to focus.
"Lu, it's me. You're okay."
It did nothing for a long second, but then Luffy seemed to still, his body losing its fight. "Sabo?"
"Yeah," Sabo said in relief. "You're okay."
Luffy shook his head jerkily, looking at Ace and then Izou. "No! He's here."
"Who's here?"
"He's going to kill you!"
Sabo caught Ace's eyes, and Luffy huffed in frustration, starting to squirm again.
"Is he still having a bad dream?" Izou prodded.
Luffy caught Sabo's arm, pulling himself onto very unsteady feet. His hand tangling into Sabo's shirt. Sabo felt his finger clumsily moving through his pocket. Luffy's eyes were fixed on the wall again like they had been a couple of hours ago. He moved his head slowly, as if tracking something moving from the corner towards the hallway.
"I can't feel anything," Izou said, looking around in concern.
Sabo shook his head, "Me neither."
"Where's Marco?" Ace said, looking around the room.
"He heard something in the hallway a couple of minutes ago. He went to go check it out."
Luffy's eyes settled on the hallway, and he growled. There was something dark about his aura, something defensive. Like a cornered cat- and getting stronger by the minute He thought they were under attack. Were they?
"Can you wake the others up?" Sabo asked, and Izou nodded. "You think someone's really out there?"
"Luffy does," Ace said. That was good enough for them, even if Luffy might not be the most credible right now.
Sabo stayed where he was, with Luffy still holding his jacket. The younger boy was trembling so badly. At first, Sabo had thought it was just his nightmare, but no- Luffy was terrified.
He felt the other's power as it rose up, in a mess of tangled emotions. Since when did Luffy have Haki again? It didn't matter right now.
Sabo felt his fear, right on the surface, then his anger, and desperation, but below all of that was a single need, PROTECT-PROTECT
Luffy's aura was so strong that even someone with the slightest bit of haki would be able to feel it. He was terrified. Sabo could tell that Luffy was fighting the urge to run. But he was staying there, feet planted firmly on the ground because of his almost overwhelming need to protect them. From what?
He looked at Ace, he must feel it too. Ace put his hand on Luffy's shoulder. "Lu? What is it?"
But Luffy just shrugged him off, his breathing growing more frantic until he was nearly hyperventilating. Sabo had never seen him like this.
Izou had roused the pirates, and they snapped to attention quickly.
"What is it? What's out there?" Haruta asked.
"We should go find Marco," Thatch said, looking at the door.
Ace was watching Luffy. He was staring at the hallway now, his breath hitching. "Get away from the entrance," Ace warned, already moving forward.
Confused, the pirates obeyed as Ace pushed in front of them, his shoulder sparking to life.
"Ace-," Izou began. "There's nobody-,"
He trailed off at the sound of soft footsteps somewhere in the darkness. "Marco?"
"Try again," a low voice echoed as a man entered the room. He was smiling, his grin cruel.
Luffy stiffened even further, if possible. His hand falling into Sabo's pocket.
The man's smile grew, as his attention fixed on Luffy. "We've been looking for you, kid. -You can sense me. How annoying."
"Who are you?" Ace growled at him, taking a step closer.
The man just shrugged, his smile playful, like he was enjoying this. "No one- not officially. Legally I don't exist."
"CP-0," Sabo said, putting the pieces together.
"Oh, the revolutionary. You're a long way from home, aren't you? Getting involved in matters that don't concern you. What, did your boss beg you to play pirate."
Sabo ignored him. "Ace, be careful. He's the government's assassin.
The man's attention shifted to Ace. "I figured you would be taller. Or more somehow. But you're just a scared kid, aren't you?"
Ace lashed out, his flames creeping up to attack the man. But he blocked easily, dodging the attack as he jumped back, a skip in his step like they were playing a game. "Oh, you are angry. I can't say I blame you."
"That's, who is this guy?" Jozu called.
Thatch shook his head, bewildered. "I have no clue."
Ace moved to attack again, but there was a noise in the hallway and a sharp yell. "ACE, STOP!" Marco reemerged in the opening, a couple of feet behind the man. The agent's smile grew.
"Where have you been?" Haruta asked.
Marco grimaced. "Lost in the tunnels. I was stupid and let him lead me away." A mistake he wouldn't make again. "He's dangerous. All of you need to be careful."
"Dangerous possibly," the government assassin shifted his attention to Luffy. "What do you think, kid? Am I that bad?"
Luffy pushed back into Sabo, his trembling hand sinking deeper into his pocket.
"How do you know him?" Jozu all but growled, full-on defensive now. He came towards the man, but Marco gestured him to stay where he was.
"Oh, we got real close," he said. "Listen, I'm on orders to kill you, but that can wait. I just need the kid right now." He watched with amusement as Sabo's arms tightened around Luffy- as if daring him to try. "Hand him over quietly, and you can live for a little while longer. I'll even get the marines to leave you alone for now."
"So, you can do what," Marco's voice was low- dangerous. "Torture him?"
"Don't worry about that." He waved his hand in dismissal. "Are you guys pirates or not? I know you've got that whole family thing going on but come on. It's your best offer right now. He's going to die in a day or two anyway if you guys stay down here. I might even be able to cut a deal with the government. Let you escape from here while I turn a blind eye. While- you guys at least. Obviously, the Pirate King spawn needs to die, we can't just let him go." He laughed like the idea was some kind of joke. "The revolutionary too, we have use of him. But the rest of you have got a pretty good shot if you don't throw it all away right now. What do you say?"
Marco felt Ace's eyes on him, staring through him. Ace hadn't tried to attack the Cipher Pol agent as he had expected. That was good. This man was more dangerous than anyone realized- well, anyone but Sabo.
Instead, Ace was staring at Marco- his eyes practically burning him with their intensity. He was waiting. Waiting for Marco to-
God.
Ace had never trusted them at all, had he?
Everyone else was looking at the agent with an unblinking focus. As if they could eviscerate him on the spot. Marco could feel his brother's anger. Thatch was the worst, burning like an inferno. Only just topping Izou and Jozu's. They weren't mad, they were pissed! More so than if the man had insulted Oyaji directly.
Marco caught Ace's eyes, holding his gaze with his own. And Ace stared back at him- for once in his life, he was an open book.
He wasn't angry, not like the rest of them were. He was pale, noticeably so. His jaw was clenched with his usual determination, but Marco could see the tremors of his muscles, like keeping it there was wearing him out.
Ace's eyes were wide as he stared down his once-upon-a-time friend. Waiting-
Ace was waiting for the moment he knew was coming. The moment he had been spent their entire friendship preparing for.
Marco watched as he shook his head, from side to side, softly. Almost unperceivable. But his gentle action seemed to scream at Marco. Ace was begging him not to betray him. Not to betray his brothers.
Ace's eyes were a deep grey that could darken like a stormy sky when his mood turned murky. Like right now. But Marco could see how clear they were, and right there- something deep in the gray, something swam. They were the color of storm clouds- right before the rain.
Marco had been wrong earlier. They all had. Ace had trusted them as best he could. That was why he had stayed with them. That was why he had let Marco help him, and that was why he was looking at him like this right now. Like Marco was about to end his entire world with one word.
Unable to look any longer, Marco turned away, breaking contact with those sad eyes. He looked back to the marine's disgusting lap-dog.
Ace wasn't waiting for him to decide. He knew that Marco had already decided. That's why he was terrified.
He was right -Marco had decided.
Marco met the man's heated gaze with his own. And when he spoke, he spoke not just for him but for his brothers behind him, echoing their answer.
"If you want to touch a single one of them. Especially Luffy. You're going to have to kill every single one of us first."
XXX
The base loomed large on the horizon, melding into the fuzzy sky behind it. Daybreak was still several hours away, but the sky had begun to bleed red as the sun stirred. Almost unperceivable behind the troubled clouds that swirled overhead.
Whitebeard stood at the helm of the ship, staring straight ahead at the cold stone base- the hold. It looked as inhospitable as the weather above. His sons were somewhere in that building. Surrounded by enemies on all sides. He hoped they could hold out. He hoped everyone could- just a bit longer. They were delayed getting here. Bad weather and continued Marine interference. It seemed like Whitebeard hadn't been as subtle as to his intentions as intended. The traitor had been dealt with yesterday as he tossed aside all pretenses of obliviousness. It had been the newest member to join, a fisherman who made an exchange to work for them for a lift to his island. He had done well to stay under the radar, focusing on his craft. But Vista had done his job well. He found the traitor and used that to their advantage, indirectly assuring Teach they were still in the dark. Teach must have gotten tipped off another way. It was pointless for Whitebeard to dwell on it. His children had done their best. Now it was his time to fight for them.
He tapped his huge fingers against the rail, feeling it vibrate against his skin. Teach had aligned himself with the Marines- now that was interesting. It was also very dangerous for them. But Whitebeard was beyond caring. Let them come. Let them all come. It was high time they unseated the traitor. Once and for all.
"I apologize, my sons," he told the base before them. "And I owe you many more." He had failed to protect them in every way.
"I will make this right!"
By any means necessary.
XXX
This chapter was slow, but boy, do I have a good excuse. So much has changed for me in a short time. I moved back into the country, then across the country, to split an apartment with my childhood friend. I've been moving in, job searching, and meeting friends and boys (ooh). I've had to leave behind my college roommates, that has been my Canadian family for the last five years. Now I am an official 'adult' and I'm trying to kick-start my science career, while finish and publish my first book, ooh exciting. All without going broke. Plus, I have to convince my new roommate not to turn everything in the apartment hot pink. It's been a time.
I'll try to post more consistently once things in my life settle down. I really hope you guys had an amazing summer, and it breaks my heart that it's ending. To those of you still in school- Good luck! And everyone out of school. I wish you the best!
Because I've been getting some questions. I hope this chapter went a bit deeper into Ace's psyche. He isn't withholding information from the Whitebeards for the fun of it. Think of Ace's defense mechanism like breaking up with your partner before they get the chance to break up with you. He expected rejection since he met the Whitebeards and now that's they know his secret, not to mention his betrayal, he thinks it will hurt less to push them away. He's trying to make them hate him, and he feels that he deserves to be punished for hurting them.
And the second point. Luffy is using observation haki, that's fine-tuned on the CP-0 guy. Luffy is a fast learner when his life depends on it. So the CP-0 dude was concealing his aura from everyone with a master level of skill. But Luffy had so much experience when he was tormenting him that he has a personal sensor for it in his brain, like an animal response. He can pick up traces of this guy's energy. Sort of like a 'predator alert' thing.
XXX
On my gosh. So many reviews. In the best way possible. It took me hours to respond since I did both Chapter 49 and 48. Sorry, I missed them last time, but your reviews are very valuable to me, so I didn't want to leave anything unanswered. The responses to chapter 48 are just below 49. You might have to do some scrolling. Sorry for how long this got. I'll do my best not to skip comment replies again.
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RIAEVANS: Of course. I'm glad you liked it. Stay safe too! Take care of yourself. Ace's love for his brothers fuels me haha.
Kuse Endian: Oh my gosh, what a nice thing to say. That means a lot. If I can overshare a bit, these stories are my happy place, I keep thinking I should stop so I can focus on becoming a real writer, but then I think- no way. If I quite writing these, I'd have to join a screamo band or something haha. I always love hearing that they mean something to other people as well, so thank you for sharing. Ace is one of my favorites as well, and his relationship with Luffy is adorable. I have to check that out. I really hope your next year and the one after that are amazing as you deserve! Please take care of yourself.
Sincerely: JC
SarcasmRocks: Ace is the best, I concur. And thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Sorry the next chapter was so late. And yes, your thinking right. This chapter was just the start as things start to ramp up. Thank you for the nice words! I'll try to post again sooner.
samantha. 4: Thank you, it was fun. The moving has been all right. Me too! Ace is making some progress, just really slowly. He will get all the hugs.
Crazykittylover: Aww, why thanks. What a nice thing to say. Yeah, I meant for the chapter to be one, and not so long but, like always, it got away from me. Oops. The action picks up again next time. And thank you again! I hope you ahd a good summer.
Onar27: Aw thanks. I'm glad you like Ace. So, I do try to carry the threads of the characters arcs and thoughts through the chapters- with varied success. So the 'take everything away but Luffy line,' I wrote last summer (a year ago now yikes) was when I was working at a nature sanctuary and raising eight orphaned Raccoons from babies. I loved them and I knew there was like an 80% chance they were all going to die painfully (Racoon virus). So if that chapter felt out of place it was because I was using it to work through what I was going through (not that losing your brother is like losing Raccoons). But I think the important thing to understand about Ace is that his self-loathing mostly comes from his inability to help Luffy. Ace is trying to help, but right now Luffy isn't looking for pity or sympathy, or even to talk. So I think just because of the situation Ace is putting Luffy's emotional/ mental duress on the back burner until he can be sure they aren't going to die, and they can get Luffy medical treatment.
Haha my reviews to you always end up being so long. (Sorry). Ace not trusting the Whitebeards as mucha s in the cannon is one of the cornerstones of this AU. The Whitebeards did trust Ace, and they trusted Teach. But the first betrayal hardened them, enough to fall for Ace's act on the second one. If not for Teach's actions they probably would have given Ace the benefit of the doubt more.
Yes! Just like you said. Ace trusts (or trusted) the WB's with his life but not Luffy's. It was the same with their secrets. Ace tried to keep his promise to tell them everything but the second he thought Sabo would be implicated he lied and said everything was his idea. When it comes to his brothers Ace is desperate to protect them. Not that he expects them to hand Luffy over if they found out but he doesn't want to deal with any more problems it will cause by them finding out. Hope that helped!
Urutiyori: Why thank you. And of course! Thank you for your patience. Sorry the chapter was a little late. There will be a lot more Luffy next time. Yes I did read it! I am so excited to find out everything.
Criis46: Aww, thanks. That's so nice to hear.
Pixi: Aw, sorry. Don't worry I know it doesn't seem like it but things are fixable. It's open or interpretation, but like I said right above, Ace is trying to drive them away. It matters to him- it matters so much that it's hurting him. But he is trying to break their relationship before it can hurt him worse. Basically, he was lying. This sin't the end of their relationship, its just the turning point! I'll go into it more but none of them blame him now they know the truth. I chose Ace's POV mostly for space. The chapter was already a monster without having to include the WB's reactions and people were telling me to move on with the reveal (as much as I would like too, I can't make everyone happy). But don't worry. I'm not glossing over it. I am going to work through their feelings over the next few chapters. My move went well. Thank you. And thanks for the great review. I hope you had a good summer too.
Pause143: Lol, thank you. The WB's take none of Ace's stubbornness.
Starflower525: That's so nice to hear! And aww, I'm really glad you are enjoying it. The WB's are going to have a field day with Ace haha. Thank you again. Sorry the chapter was late. And moving went well!
Wishfull-star: Aw, thanks. Your so nice. You too, take car of yourself.
A6r6o6k: That is so sweet! I am really glad you liked it. I know I can't make everyone happy but I am glad I could do it justice for some people! Thanks for your patience. Moving is stressful but I'm good now! I hope you had a great summer.
Guest.1: That's so nice to hear. With (almost) everything on the table now! Ace needs all the hugs. He will get them in time. And thank you for the compliment haha. I call it the ADD style because I couldn't make a singular plot threat if it hit me in the face. Thank you for the kind review.
RainbowFatCat: Thank you!
Irene Sharda: Yes! Ace finally revealed his secrets. He definitely has a chip on his shoulder though. Yes! I think that's a really good summary of Ace's motivations. Haha, no unfortunately no Law. But help is on the way. I wish though!
xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx: Why thanks. That is so nice to hear. I was worried I fell flat on the reveal. Yeah, I still need to figure out what Ace's going to do when he learns about Shanks. Open to suggestions haha.
LoveToBake: Thank you!
Aquarica: Yes, Ace is living his worst nightmares right now. Thank god for pineapple. Your feeling is right! I'm glad you liked it!
09: Thanks.
ItsGuess: If it helps I have the best intentions. But life gets in the way so often. I promise if Oda hires me to be a full time Fanfic writer you guys would get an update five times a week. Of course! Thank you for taking the time to read it.
RozenDark: Haha welcome. That is so nice to hear, I'm really glad you like my story. Oh my gosh, one night. That must have been tiring. But so nice to hear! Yeah, Luffy has had it rough. I understand your comment. It was very nice thank you. It is always so sweet to hear people enjoyed this little story. I hope you know how much I appreciate your nice words!
And yes, of course. That is very flattering. I think some people asked if they could translate it into Spanish, I don't know if they did it or not but if they did it might be easier for you to read! But I'm happy to help in any way. Let me know if you want me to send you the word chapters. See you next time!
Meimei: Aw thanks. Not often enough haha. Sometimes once a month, sometimes twice, sometimes once in six months. It really depends on how crazy life is being. I think I average out to ten chapters a year though.
94Insane: Ace is incredibly stubborn. Silly Ace. Marco has his work cut out for him. Of course!
ThePansexualFish: (Best name ever). Aw, thanks.
Guest 8: Thank you! I am trying!
Guest 9: Yes, I am a little worried about him too haha. Him and blood, what is he a vampire or something.
Guest 10: Ace will try his best!
Demonata: Same here. And then I want them to have a group hug.
Mel72000: Haha, yes they do.
RimaPichi: Thank you! Ace needed that.
Sakihinata: Right about now every single one needs some intensive counseling.
our fan: Hello! And wow! that's awesome. I'm glad you like it. Sorry about the late updates. I'll do my best to get the next one out soon. I know I'm leaving you guys handing right at the action.
I am doing well. I hope you are too! Thank you for your patience. I'll try my best!
Greetings from USA
Guest 12: Haha, I've done that before. The notifications are nice! Eventually I broke down and made one. I'm glad you liked the chapter. Ace just needs a bit of time to adjust.
HollowSea: Hey! Thanks for the reviews!
Yes, Ace is being frustrating. I'm a bit of an Ace fan but I try to give all the ASL crew their own stories and motivations.
And that is so nice to say.
Ace didn't just tell the WB's about Luffy for a few reasons, the blackmail, his trust issues, and his fear of his decisions coming back to hurt Luffy more then they already have.
Luffy does get Haki. but only a bit later.
meganbingley1: Aw thank you. That's so nice. I took a line from a poem I found about sailors, and I think another three from the song in a black out by Hamilton and Rostam. And then I wrote the rest. I'm glad you liked it!
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xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx: Ace does need a huge hug. More and more all the time. I'm sure you now know that Ace told them the truth, here is the fall out. More on this later.
NotRob: Yeah, Ace loves Luffy. I think everyone is important to Ace in different ways. But Luffy's the one I think he can't live without.
Shion Lee: Haha, yeah just a little. I think he goes into it a little more in this chapter. Ace isn't being as self-less here as Itachi. Ace is trying to reject the Whitebeards, or force their hand, before they can do it on their own.
samantha. 4: Thank you. I'm going to miss school in an odd way haha. I've been a student for so long I don't know what else there is.
Yes! Thank god for Marco haha. Keeping Ace sane. Ace might need more hugs then Luffy, but less medical attention.
-and thank you. That is so nice.
Guest #1: Thank you! That's so sweet. Ace is rocking the angst for the next few chapters. He'll lighten up when he's sure Luffy will be okay.
SarcasmRocks: Thank you! And yes! Sorry these chapters are going to be a lot of talking, but theres a lot of bombs dropped that need to be dealt with. And I'm glad you like my angsty Ace haha. I try with him.
Don't worry. Luffy and Sabo are going to have a lot of time with the Whitebeards, starting next chapter and onwards. Shanks, like in the Marine Ford, is going to show up at the very end. So not for a while.
(Reply to the reply of your reply to your review : )
Sorry, I sort of forgot what we were talking about. If it's Luffy's haki ability then yes! I should explain it better. He is like tuned into the CP-0 guys aura (haki-sensing ability IDK) more so then anyone else. With all the stress and trauma he's undergone he's strengthening his skills at incredible rates as a survival/ stress response. Which is why he can sense the man when no one else can. They don't have his practice. (you totally reminded me that I should be explaining this in the A.N. thank you!)
ScarletRoofs: I love Marco, he's trying to look after Ace when not even Ace wants to do that. And thank you!
Onar27: I get you- don't worry it makes sense. So, Ace is complicated, it goes more into it this chapter. But like Marco said, this is about Ace. It's also about Luffy, and Thatch, and everyone else. But Teach went out of his way to make this about Ace, and Ace with all of his past trauma is being cornered into facing his worst fears. I think that, as far as the scene with the Whitebeards where Ace was trying to get them to blame him, it wasn't self-pity as much as his defense mechanism. He expected his found family to turn on him this whole time, the second they learned who he was. And now they know, so he is trying to push them away because that's going to hurt less then them turning their backs on him. Plus, the added guilt of his betrayal which is eating him up because he loved them and in his mind, he did something unforgivable. So Ace feels like he deserves to be punished- certainly not forgiven or understood.
So, I sort of forgot what my answer was last time about the WB's giving up on Ace, (sorry). But the only reason 'Teach stole Luffy, Ace loved Luffy' couldn't be that simple was because I was having a lot of fun writing it and as far as dramatic reveals go some people would have been after me for all the buildup I gave it haha. But in the story Ace felt the need to explain to the best of his ability e.g. "I would have followed you guys to the end," he didn't want them to think he threw them away for nothing. Also the situation was pretty delicate so none of the people who knew what was really going on felt it was their place to explain, when Ace owed them his explanation himself. From here on out Ace and Luffy are going to have a lot more time together! The story isn't going to end the second their rescued I promise.
Ace is a multi-task self-loather haha. He does feel awful about Luffy, but he also feels awful for betraying his friends. That's because loyalty, honor and family are so important to him. But so is Luffy. I hope that answered your question. Sorry the response got a bit long. I could write an essay on the Ace psychology haha. I am glad you liked it.
Azufyra: Aw thanks. Sorry the others were so late. And I hoped you did great on your exams (I know it's a little late now but I'm wishing you all the best luck!)
Satanssweetsibling: Thank you! This decision was not so popular haha, but I'm glad you liked it! Haha, thank you. I love Marco and I've loved making him try to big brother/ parents Ace. And yes! I think that's a pretty good description of Ace's strategy. Sorry about the late reply. I hope you liked the second part too. Don't worry. The Whitebeards are special. They will be understanding, especially once word gets out what happened. The tragedy is coming to a close (mostly cough) now it's just all the fallout. Haha, Garp may or may not show up. I hadn't decided. But definitely Shanks. Thank you! For the nice words. I hope you are well as well.
RimaPichi: Oh wow, you read fast. I'm really glad you liked it but I hope you also got some sleep. That's like reading the longest Harry Potter book in one day- you might be my hero.
Sati: It's not really that kind of story, sorry.
Crazykittylover: Poor Ace, he hurts my heart. And thank you! That was such a kind compliment. You can blame all the sad music I started listening too for that haha.
It's revealed in this chapter but it is the CP-0 man who tortured Luffy and is now stalking them. More on that next time. And same here. The cannon broke my heart. Especially with Ace. I'm right there with you. Why could he have a few years living life with the knowledge of how much people loved him. That's part of the reason I wrote this haha.
So I like to think of it like the story is divided into quarters. The first part was the set up with Luffy and Thatch kidnapped, and Ace's slow falling out with the crew. The second part was Teach's arrival at the hold, and Ace's and Sabo's rogue phase. The third part is what we are in right now, the rescue and pirate/ marine war that's about to break out. And finally the last quarter is going to be recovery and the aftermath of everyone. If you want some mini spoilers
(Luffy is going to live with the Whitebeards. His brothers are going to make sure he recovers from everything) I'm not really going to go into him setting sail and the cannon story.
Haha, thought out and improvised at the last second based on my mood are more interchangeable than I realized. You are so kind thought thank you!
AngelFallenDemon: Right! Poor Ace. He breaks my heart, even more then Luffy. Thank goodness Sabo. I'll find something mean to do to Teach!
Amazing: Yes! As in chapter 52 or something very soon.
Guest #3: The chapters are typically 5,000-7,000 words sometimes going to 10+ but usually I aim for that range.
Wishfull-star: I love Marco. Sorry for the late reply though. Haha, more on that this chapter. Luffy won't get physically harmed (much) but the exertion isn't good for him. If that's what you want to see give it four chapters or so! I hope you stay safe too! And thank you for the nice words!
xellos-sore-wa-himitsu-desu: Aw, shucks.
Drayukken: Haha yeah, so a few people have said that Ace is frustrating them. I hope this chapter explained it a bit better. It's not that Ace can't say it, he is actively trying to get the WB's to reject him, because he has been expecting it so long. Plus he doesn't wasn't to make excuses for his actions (which he sees as irredeemable).
Pause143: Oh my gosh. You poor thing. I really hope you are okay, and things have healed more by now! But you must take it easy. Thank you for the kind words, and yes! I love your depiction of what Ace is trying to do. I was going for exactly that. Please take care and I hope you are doing better!
Mel72000: Haha, another one. I hope this chapter covered it better. Ace doesn't want to make excuses for actions which he thinks are unforgivable. But more importantly he is actively trying to push the WB's away before they can do it to him, like he has been expecting them to do for a year now.
Miqila: Yeah, it's the calm before the storm.
RainbowFatCat: Aw, thanks.
zi lan: Why thank you. I can understand you!
Pixi: Aw, thanks. Ace hurts my heart. Don't worry, Ace is going to get the talking to he needs. They just need to deal with one crisis at a time. Got to love Marco. I know the Jozu/ WB crew reaction was a bit lacking last chapter, there just wasn't time to talk about how all of them were taking it. So I am going to try and fit it in these next few chapters because there is a lot to talk about. But overall Jozu understands. I love hearing you like this story! Thank you for your nice review.
Fubukiakiya: Hi wonderful reader. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I don't think anyone has asked for to translate it into Chinese. And of course. That's very flattering. Please translate away- any of my stories. If you need the word chapters just message me and I can send them to you.
Aquarica: Poor Ace. He breaks my heart. He does deserve so much better. And thank you! Sabo and Luffy moments cheer up my day. Sabo would wake up if needed.
Katerina2001: Thank you!
CosasCosmicas: Haha thanks. I'm glad you like it. I almost cried too when Luffy died, glad to know I wasn't the only one haha. Sorry the update was so slow. I hope you liked it.