My Time

Chapter 18

Seeing Orion again – this morning not withstanding – after avoiding him for days was a daunting experience. Mostly because he felt he was the one at fault, he was deeply attracted to Orion, despite the fact he was off limits. He was betrothed, even if she was a hag of a woman that didn't deserve him. Well, actually, she wasn't completely unfortunate looking, compared to the rest of the Black's she was, but he reckoned it was something to do with her mother. The Crabbe's had never been the soft delicate sort now, have they? So, between her mother and her Black features…let's just say she hadn't blended as well as the others.

"How did the funeral go?" Hayden asked sombrely.

"More subdued than it ought to have been," Orion informed him, watching him very intently, which made Hayden very uncomfortable. "But that may be because there were so few of us celebrating her life, and so few that actually knew her to give tales of her life." pagans didn't fear death, they celebrated their lives, it wasn't a mournful experience. Or at the very least, it wasn't meant to be, because they were all only human, grieving was a natural process.

Hayden nodded, "I am sorry I wasn't there…" he trailed off unhappily, as he opened the tent flap letting Orion in. Belatedly wondering if they should have remained outside, it might have been better. Sighing softly, he walked in as well, it didn't matter now…did it? He couldn't just tell Orion to get back outside again. Now that would have been unspeakably rude.

"Yes, well, I gave them the excuse that you hadn't fully recovered from the attack," Orion declared blankly, still staring at Hayden as if he would suddenly understand him. "I'm not sure how much they believed, but they did like your gifts, they were very beautiful." And they were, there was no mistaken that, the bouquet of flowers smelt amazing, and were ironically enough, her favourites and the picture of her looking so happy was very well appreciated even if it was mere minutes before she lashed out.

Hayden smiled, it was a little brittle but genuine nonetheless, his shoulders relaxed a little, "I'm glad," he'd wondered if his gifts were presumptuous, and the picture he'd had made…might have been seen as in bad taste.

"Yes, so it seems," Orion replied, his gaze narrowing in on envelopes at the side of the bed, he could just make out a bit of the Black coat-of-arms. So, he had been ignoring his mail then, that was rather rude. "So, you did choose to wilfully ignore me?" not sure whether he would have preferred Hayden reading but ignoring or just fully ignoring him.

Hayden inhaled sharply, glancing at the damning evidence of his rudeness. "You started it," he mulishly muttered, and it was true, Orion had run away instead of talking it through.

"What are we? Two!" Orion couldn't help but laugh at the reply.

"You decided to leave before we could talk about it, Orion…I was only following what I thought were your wishes." Hayden pointed out, not quite able to look at Orion when he spoke.

"I never took you for a liar," Orion said, true bitterness in his voice, he didn't need to see to know just how much a bad liar Hayden was.

Hayden deflated, "Yeah, I…" sighing softly, he sat down, unsure of how to continue, "Look…I…like you, alright, I do…but you're already betrothed and I'm not going to be the other person in that relationship. I can't be, no matter how fond of you I'm becoming. Walburga doesn't deserve that, I don't deserve that."

"And what about what I deserve?" Orion asked bitterly. What about what he wanted? Why hadn't his family taken that into consideration? It wasn't fair, maybe it wouldn't have been a problem if he hadn't met Hayden, but he had. He liked him very much and wanted to see where it could go with him. He felt zero attraction to Walburga, but Hayden? Hayden was a different matter altogether, it wasn't just attraction…although given the way the conversation was going…Hayden was going to do what was expected of him, have a family and continue the Peverell name. "What if I want more out of life?"

Hayden reached for Orion unconsciously, squeezing his hands in a show of support. He honestly didn't know what to do, what to say to comfort Orion. Something had obviously changed, since Orion had been happy in the other lifetime, to marry Walburg and have heirs for the family. "Your family seems to love you very much…perhaps telling them how you feel might work?" Hayden suggested softly, his voice quiet and a little subdued which went well with the conversation at hand.

"The contract can't be broken," Orion admitted, a look of seething rage enveloped him in that one brief moment before his emotions shut down entirely. "My mother had my father and grandfather looking it over with the family lawyer week ago. The contract as of right now is airtight, there is nothing that can be done."

"A week ago?" Hayden asked startled, "Ah, the inbreeding, of course,"

"I told my family that I'd marry Walburga but there would be no children of that union," Orion confessed, "I can't believe I did that." Looking a little sheepish at the wide-eyed look on Hayden's face.

Hayden's lips twitched, "I can't either," he replied, Orion had actually said that to his parents and grandparents? It was a wonder he hadn't already been disowned…then again, it had been Walburga that started all the disowning and blasting of family trees…that beautiful tapestry, he couldn't believe what it was destined to become. "How did they react?"

"I honestly can't say, I think they were quietly stunned," Orion revealed, "My parents and grandparents aren't the easiest people to read." He added ruefully. Which was true, but they had been raised that way, just as Orion had, although he was still a teenager in many ways, and oftentimes that age was betrayed in his reactions. As in reactions he could not keep contained.

"You wouldn't be able to go through with it though, you want kids," Hayden pointed out, this was something he knew because of the journal. Orion hadn't known how to be a father, but he'd tried his best according to his written words.

"You don't know me as well as you'd like to think," Orion ground out, hating the way Hayden seemed to know him so well already. If he wasn't interested…surely, he wouldn't have figured all this about him, right?

Hayden let go of Orion, realizing he might be sending mixed signals. Then stepped away, moving towards the other side of the tent. "You have to have children; you need an heir. And I am sorry, but I can't be the other wizard." Affairs were ignored in high society, expected and disgusting in Harry's view. "I can't become that sort of person." It hurt to know that Orion was going to have to marry Walburga and that there would be no chance for them. Death it seemed…had an odd sense of humour. By odd he meant bad.

Orion grimaced, wrongly assuming Hayden meant a triad, that hadn't been done in his family for generations. Marrying two people was all good and well, but the one magic latched onto first they believed was the 'real' marriage, and that any child produced from the second person was illegitimate. Thus, they had stopped the practice, nowadays wizards going around with two 'witches' one was just a 'companion' and they never had children. Bastard children were not looked upon kindly in the wizarding world. although, a lot of speculation went into companions that mysteriously left and showed up with children later.

"Even if I wished to take on a…second wife or husband, I cannot," Orion confessed, rubbing his forehead where a migraine was brewing painfully.

"What do you mean?" Hayden enquired, it sounded like he meant that literally, not as in he didn't approve of it. Which couldn't be right? Could it? Surely the Black's wouldn't box their heir and one day Lord into a contract that had no manageability?

"Once we are married…if I have an affair, I lose everything," Orion told him, sick pooling at his mouth. He was literally stuck, it was a hellish existence, "I haven't spoken to my father since I found that particular piece of information out." Oh, he'd tried talking to him, but Orion had just blatantly ignored him. If he grew more insistent Orion just walked away. Orion's mercury eyes watching every single hint of emotion that played across Hayden's face.

Hayden shook his head in disbelief, "So they've left literally only one door open for you, and it's a door that most wizards and witches like you wouldn't contemplate." the loss of status, money, power, and let's not forget certain family magicks. Love can be a powerful motivator; it can make the best of people make stupid choices at the heat of the moment. There was no telling how long it would last, the relationship you gave everything up for.

Orion's mercury eyes were filled with pain, giving a nod of acknowledgement, disownment. There was only one case like this happened recently. The Prewett's had been fined very heavily, and nearly everything they had was given to the Malfoy family in compensation for breaking the contract. Not that the Malfoy's needed it, no, but it was the insult that had them furious. Although the Prewitt's seemed happy enough despite having no money, they'd had two sons, Gideon and Fabian Prewitt if he recalled the newspaper article. Any family those children marry into would also carry the shame of what their parents had done. carrying on the feud, as it would with Abraxas' child until they felt the slight was suitably recompensed.

"Damn," Hayden murmured, he didn't think any family would do that to their own…let alone the Black's despite their reputation…he could see the love they held for one another. Refusing to leave a burning building without each other, the genuine terror in their voice at the thought of leaving them. No, they did love each other immensely. "I guess it would be discourteous to ask for a copy of the contract?"

"It is," Orion declared giving him a look, that declared him stupid, for asking such a question. "Nothing can be helped if it just happened to fall out of my pocket." Giving him a pointed look, as the parchment floated out of his pocket looking for all the world an accident. He had known Hayden would ask, but he didn't hold out hope that he would figure something out.

Hayden grinned wryly, green eyes sparkling brightly, he just loved seeing the Slytherin's employing their cunning tactics to get around rules and such. "Do you believe your family lawyer will come up with something?" reaching down to retrieve it, glaring at Orion who was watching him with a lecherous look on his face. He straightened up, looking disapproving but his cheeks were ruddy red, he wasn't used to such looks being aimed at him, at least not really. He'd only ever really allowed himself to be around Hermione, Ron and Ginny…and his looks weren't why Ginny had wanted him, oh no, that had been entirely for his money.

"If not for this…would you have agreed to a courtship if I asked?" Orion beseeched Hayden watching him sit down swiftly no doubt because he was watching.

"You have to know that I would have," Hayden pointed out, he'd only ever really dated one person in his life, and kissed three people now. Cho, Ginny and Orion, all of them with similar builds, well, Orion was much more muscular really. Perhaps he was more inclined towards men than both as he first thought.

"And we if can get this contract nullified?" Orion learnt forward, his intense gaze searing into Hayden.

Hayden's brows furrowed, staring down at the folded-up contract, before glancing back up, licking his lips he said, "I don't think that's likely, is it? giving ourselves false hope…it will just lead to more disappointment down the road."

Orion whispered, "It is all I have," being more honest than he had ever been in his life with someone outside of his mother. He wasn't sure what prompted such trust…good instincts? Just watching Hayden to know what sort of person he was? Orion trusted him against all his better judgement. He'd never taken to someone so quickly before. Hayden not only made him see the world from a different view, but made him feel like a better person. That and surprised him at every single turn.

"I'll be your friend, don't think I will ever walk away," Hayden said, amending his statement, "Unless you want me to, and I believed you did, Orion. You walked out the door, what was I supposed to think?" well, actually he'd thought Orion was rather disgusted and angry with him, he hadn't thought for a second that Orion would want him the same way.

"You don't expect me to walk away from the Lordship?" Orion asked, staring at Hayden as if he were something so very precious and rare.

Hayden startled at that, vehemently and immediately shaking his head, no, never. "No, Orion, and if anyone ever expected you to step down, then they clearly don't know you at all. You grew up knowing what was expected of you, of the changes you can make when you gain your Lordship. It's not just a position to you, or a job, it's who you are. You love your family so much, regardless of their actions. Your father and uncle have done you a disservice, but people in your position…unfortunately, are born to obligation."

"My position? Don't you mean our position?" giving him a pointed look, not sure why he felt surprised that Hayden understood. After all, he had made it more than clear he'd been raised by Muggles in the Muggle world but aware of his own duty.

"I didn't grow up under the same pressure you are," Hayden confessed softly, shuffling closer to Orion unconsciously. "I was rather lucky in that regard. Duty wise, I think I am the lucky one…but family wise? You are the lucky one."

Orion sobered, giving a nod of agreement, he couldn't imagine living his life without his family. His parents, it was just horrific really, he had no idea how they'd been murdered, but he dares not ask Hayden anything more about it. He doubted it was in the wizarding newspapers, after all they had been hiding from Wizardkind. What sort of trouble had they been in? Was that what caused their deaths? Or was it just unfortunate wrong place wrong time? "I love my family, I do, sometimes I just get really…angry." He confessed quietly, "My father is going to talk to my uncle this evening…I do not believe it will do much good. It will however, reach Walburga and she will be rather intolerable."

"Pollux, right?" Hayden presumed, wracking his brain to remember everyone mentioned at the Yule feast.

Orion couldn't help but admire Hayden, "That's right, my Uncle Pollux," he nodded his agreement. The Black family was numerous, and it was difficult to keep up with them all, especially since they had a fondness of reusing family names. It wasn't something he wanted to do. He wanted to make sure his children – if he had any – weren't lumped with a name that had been used various times.

"Do they get on?" Hayden couldn't help but asked curiously. Glancing down at the contract, which was still folded up.

"Most of the time," Orion didn't need clarification to figure out whom Hayden was talking about. "They do have their fights, my uncle gets jealous I think, because he isn't the Lord. It makes me grateful a little that I don't have a brother…but other times I wished I did there's just some things you can't say or do with a sister."

"Both of them stubbornly thinking they're right?" Hayden deduced with a small smile which looked more like a grimace. Standing up he moved towards the kitchen, still talking to Orion, "I can imagine, it's very lonely growing up without someone to share your life with. Although, truth be told, I'm glad nobody shared my upbringing." His life was very lonely, even growing up alongside his cousin, bullied relentlessly, he often wished for something different. "Orange, apple or pumpkin juice?"

"Do you not have meetings?" Orion questioned, slightly surprised.

"In forty-five minutes," came Hayden's reply, "So?"

"Pumpkin juice, please," Orion called out, "Did you get anywhere with Lady Bridget? And Cassius?"

"Yeah, it's going to take a long time to get this estate up to scratch," Hayden explained, as he wandered back in, handing Orion a bottle of Pumpkin juice. "I'm out of Butterbeer otherwise I would have offered that instead." He added sheepishly.

"But you're going to do it?" Orion questioned thoughtfully opening the lid and taking a drink from the cold bottle.

"Yes, long term it's going to rake in a lot of money, if things go the way I expect them to." Hayden said thoughtfully, he'd also invested rather heavily on investments he knew were going to become massive in the future. He wasn't just sticking to Wizarding investments though; he was also dealing with Muggle investments.

"Estates do need to bring in an income otherwise it doesn't do well for the future." Orion agreed fully.

"I couldn't help but notice that there weren't any other buildings or people in the Black estate," Hayden pointed out, "And it being a castle, I can't imagine the cost of keeping that in good condition." There was only so much they could do on their own after all.

Orion smirked and shook his head, now nobody else would have dared to ask him about his family's finances. He never knew what Hayden was going to come out with next, watching as he sat down drinking his apple juice. "We rent out a lot of properties, and the grounds of Black castle…grows a lot of produce that's sold. Food, butter, meat, herbs and potion ingredients leather and cotton as well…although I do confess the estate would be better off rented out, but my grandparents would never hear of it." worried about their safety, despite the fact they wouldn't need to worry because the wards on the manor would be stricter than the ones on the rest of the estate.

"Leather?" Hayden asked arching a brow utterly befuddled. It was rather random, more random than cotton.

"The animals, pigs, cows, sheep, goats and crocodiles," Orion used his index finger to slip his other fingers on his left hand off as he spoke. They didn't have Dragons which is the priciest of hides to gather and got the most money from harvesting.

"Crocodiles?" Hayden choked, coughing and spluttering, "You did that on purpose!" he complained, smacking his chest until he could stop coughing.

Orion didn't laugh, but his eyes were twinkling in amusement, "They're in the moats, quite a nasty surprise for anyone thinking they can cross over to reach the castle." Oh, he loved spending time with Hayden, he felt so much younger, unjudged and he didn't feel the need to posture or keep up the 'pureblood' fashioned persona.

"I'll bet," Hayden rasped out, before taking a small sip of juice. The silence wasn't strained, but it did cause an abrupt change in the subject, as Hayden didn't want to put it off. "Do you think we can do it? Just remain friends? It's hardly fair on Walburga…" he finally began unfolding the contract, which was eight pieces of parchment as he slid onto the rug of the tent spreading it out thoughtfully. "There might be a sneaky clause in here that will make you lose the Lordship if you stray before you're even married…"

Orion barely refrained from snorting, "My father certainly wouldn't do that." And thank Merlin for that, "If it was the case, I would have already lost my Lordship." Witches weren't supposed to have sex before marriage, but most of them did not adhere to that strictness. Although, some purebloods enforce it, especially if there had been no male heirs, and they were responsible for the continuation of their lines.

Hayden inclined his head in wry agreement, male or female, they were in a bloody boarding school. Without parental supervision, with only a dozen or so professors keeping an eye on hundreds of pubescent teens all going through puberty. Everyone began experimenting around twelve and had most definitely had sex by the time they left at seventeen. "Couldn't that be your way out of the contract? it's wrong on so many levels but witches are expected to remain 'pure' while wizards are allowed to 'sow their wild oats'" grimacing as he said it.

"If only," Orion said dryly, it would have gotten them both of the contract, "Unfortunately, our parents knew how unlikely that would be." letting out a frustrated breath. They themselves had been in boarding school, and knew what they'd likely get up to considering they had done the same thing.

"Seriously?" Hayden couldn't help but ask, staring up at Orion as if expecting it to be a joke. "Well, alright then," clearly it wasn't a joke, he guessed both men had at least made it fair for both Orion and Walburga.

Orion's gaze roamed over Hayden as he sat on the floor reading the contract with a deep concentration. It hit him then and there, that it looked as if Hayden was in this for the long haul. Was it right to ask that of someone? Who could have a whole life ahead of them? Find someone else who could give him a fulfilling life? An image of Hayden ripe with their child caused him to close his eyes a small smile playing across his features. All Black's looked alike…would their child look like him? or would they have Hayden's hair and his eyes or his hair and those mesmerising green eyes?

"Is this something you really want?" Orion said quietly, a thoughtful frown marring his features. He knew with Hayden he could be himself; he didn't need to keep a perpetual mask on his face.

"Hm?" Hayden murmured, barely reacting to it, too busy reading and he hadn't really heard what Orion said.

"Is this something you really want to do?" Orion said a little louder, shifting closer towards him. "I may never get out of the contract…and as you know, I'll never be able to turn my back on my family." Regardless of his threats, they might think he's serious and he wished he was…but he couldn't allow that to happen. Family first, always.

"I know," Hayden smiled an understanding smile, short and quick.

"You have your own duties to oversee, you must promise me if you find yourself desiring someone…uncomplicated," Orion settled on the word he preferred, "You'll step away and have that family, that husband or wife." The thought of anyone else having Hayden made him bray for blood.

Judging by the look on Hayden's face, his feelings on the matter were clearly visible on his face.

"Promise me," Orion said vehemently, while he couldn't bear the thought of losing him, he couldn't stand the thought of all that life, the happiness to be drained from Hayden by watching him marry his cousin and stay on the side-lines as a friend. His time with Hayden was…temporary if they couldn't work out a way out of the contract…which wasn't likely. He would cherish what time he had with him.

Hayden leaned against Orion's legs, "I give you my word," he promised, but what Orion didn't know was…that when he gave his love to someone…he loved them forever and a day. He loved Hermione so much, he loved Ron so much, admittedly as his best friends/siblings and Ginny…he'd loved her wholly and gave her everything but had to break up because the were in different places emotionally and mentally.

Orion relaxed just hearing those words, his fingers brushing through Hayden's hair. "Good," he murmured, checking his pocket watch, before slotting it away again, not easily done with one hand but he did it. They only had twenty minutes before Hayden had to leave. Was it wrong to want something so desperately with only a slim chance they'd get it? Or was that the reason he wanted it so badly?

"Where are you going anyway?" Orion enquired, absently petting at Hayden's hair, where his head lay against his leg.

"With a real estate witch, Tiffany Curtis, she's going to show me a few properties that are suitable for a publishing and editing shop." Hayden confessed, "Would you like to come? I mean that's if you even want to do this still?" there was no guarantee everything would work out after all.

"Lady Tiffany," Orion automatically corrected, feeling more at peace than he had even with family in a long, long time. "She's very good, you'll probably find the perfect building within a few properties, she has a sixth sense for that sort of thing, especially if you've described what you need and want."

Hayden made a soft sound of agreement, slightly distracted by those fingers in his hair. Forcing himself to focus on the paperwork for the contract in front of him. "You weren't kidding about the addendums about the affairs, hmm?"

Orion laughed a little, "No, I wasn't,"

"You also never said whether you were coming or not," Hayden added, far from stupid.

"I don't know," Orion sighed, but didn't move despite being uncomfortable. "I would prefer to be there for the talk my father and Uncle Pollux are going to have." he wanted to have his say, beseech his Uncle Pollux into taking pity on him.

"Um…you realize that it's not going to happen, right?" Hayden muttered, reading it as he spoke to him, "If they strike an agreement on annulling your marriage to Walburga…Pollux gains the Black Lordship…you didn't notice it? Addendum 15.2.4, just before the signature boxes."

Orion was shaking his head as he snatched the paperwork, there was no way his father would have agreed to that stipulation. Then he saw it, just where Hayden said it was. His lips pursed; eyes narrowed displeasure rolling off him in waves. Oh, he was going to kill his father! How could he have been so stupid?

Closing his eyes, he leaned forward, his forehead knocking gently against the top of Hayden's head. His hair cushioning what might have been a rather jarring thump. A quiet groan leaving his lips, he wasn't sure how many times he'd read that contract and failed to notice that addendum.

It was there they sat, in the tent Orion had been screwing his nose up at hours prior…both feeling rather content on their course of action despite the obstacles in their way, and the new ones they continued to find.

A/N – yep, just digging myself even deeper with no way out when it comes to the contract LOL but truth be told, there are a few ways I can conceive it being done…but the main one has been done to death and I do want to avoid it. You know me I like to make my stories as unique as possible. Having Walburga use a potion to control Orion is going to be the very last LAST resort…I have been given one idea of using magic herself, but I'll need to really good excuse to be using such a ritual…then there is a mutual agreement to nullify the contract by both Pollux and Arcturus which I can't see happening, Pollux is desperate to be Lord Black and his daughter is as close to it as he'd get. Also I know that it was the Weasley's that had the feud with the Malfoy's but I'm changing it up okay? I wonder what other idea's could be used...Hayden getting pregnant with Orion's kid before he's due to marry Wally? :P is also another idea I had...it would certainly cause a lot of drama :D R&R please!