My Time

Wondering why it's being reposted? Yeah? It's had some added to it, so scroll on down and read! :)

Chapter 29

Hayden rubbed his eyes tiredly, before wrapping his magic around himself. Apparating back home, to the Peverell estate. Tiredness seeped into his very bones, he was tired and cold. Hayden couldn't wait until the warmer weather truly begun. He'd reluctantly gone to sign hundreds of copies of the books, apparently nothing like the Quick Quill Quotes didn't exist yet, typical of his luck. He couldn't wait to get something quick to eat and go to bed. The camp bed was better than what had been given to him at the Dursley's but didn't replace a warm comfortable proper bed.

Eyes half mast, stretching and rolling his head, maybe he would be better off renting some place until the estate was up and running. He hadn't put a lot into consideration when he started this, including his own comfort. Sure, sleeping in a tent was alright for a night, but this long? Definitely not. He guessed he had gotten into a routine living at Grimmauld Place.

"Hayden," Orion said, smothering his amusement when the wizard acted as if he had just been electrified. Jumping in clear fright, he hadn't even been that loud all things considered. Orion noticed too that Hayden's wand was out, he truly had scared him, it dimmed the amusement he'd felt moments ago. "I'm sorry if I scared you." he said honestly, but Hayden didn't strike him as one whom was frightened easily.

Hayden shook his head, "I'm just tired." He murmured, almost defensively. The thought of anyone thinking him scared turned something in his stomach. Especially Orion, since he was the only one alive who's opinion actually mattered the most. The only one's opinion who held sway over him. He didn't scare easily; he'd faced his worst fear and came out stronger for it. "What are you doing here?" he asked, recalling that he was rather angry at Orion and why.

Orion blinked, staring at Hayden, almost wanting to bite his lip and fidget. Weaknesses he'd trained himself out of long ago. He swallowed slowly, was Hayden truly that displeased to see him? Staring straight at Hayden, he was not easy to read, but he could recall the initial happiness to see him. He opened his mouth, but it froze, the thought of Hayden not returning his feelings choked him.

"Orion?" the genuine worry that splashed across Hayden's face soothed the wounded feeling in Orion's heart. "Is everything…everyone okay?" stepping through the wards of the estate, towards Orion, hand unconsciously rose in a bid to help ease the wizard.

It was this that renewed Orion's hope, just as quickly as he deflated, he was elated. "I love you." he told Hayden fast, feeling the need to get them out before he froze up again. "I love you and never wish to be partied from you again."

Hayden blinked, staring at Orion his face emotionless.

"I know I screwed up with the betrothal, I know I messed up by revealing private information…but please, give me a second chance?" Orion said stepping closer, feeling as if he was losing Hayden entirely. "I'll do anything, I don't want to lose you." the urge to kiss Hayden since he was so very close was strong, but it was very improper especially seeing as they were not really betrothed. Not that they'd planned on ever being betrothed, Orion had thought he'd be stuck in a loveless marriage with Walburga.

Instead of kissing him like he so desperately wanted. Like he'd wanted since they met. His fingers brushed against Hayden's, curling in, touching but not quite clutching. The fact that Hayden didn't automatically pull away left him feeling hopeful.

Dazed and stunned, Hayden muttered, "What happened to Black's don't apologise?"

"Some things are worth admitting you're wrong for," Orion said sincerely, his grey eyes filled with his desire to please, his sincerity. He decided against telling Hayden his stray thought of bringing Cygnus with him. He had a funny feeling that Hayden wouldn't have liked that.

The silence made every second feel like decades.

It was Orion that let go and took a step back, his heart felt like someone was squeezing it inside his ribcage. Devastation leaving him reeling, anchorless, he hadn't expected this outcome at all. Well, not really, they got on so well, and Hayden had seemed to enjoy their time together. He had to get out of here, he didn't want Hayden to see his reaction. He didn't want anyone to see his reaction, he could just imagine his father's reaction to his tears.

Hayden reached out, grasping a hold of Orion before he could Apparate, sensing the magic wrapping itself around him in preparation of Apparation. "I…love you too," Hayden confessed in a rush, squeezing down on Orion's fingers, not that the wizard seemed to mind, he was staring at Hayden intently. "Which is absolutely terrifying, we don't know each other Orion…" not even a little bit.

Nothing could dampen Orion's relief, his exhilaration, just moments ago he felt as if his heart was literally breaking into little pieces…now? Oh, he was over the moon, his heart was pounding away in his chest. His stomach felt like it was swooping as though travelling endlessly through the Floo network. "Say it again," gluttonous and greedy, but Orion didn't care he just wanted to hear it again.

Hayden laughed a little, "I love you." sweet and sincere, he sighed softly, his gaze wrenching itself away from his lips. "How can you really love someone you don't know?" he asked so utterly bewildered, so new to really caring and loving someone.

"We do know one another," Orion refuted the idea that they didn't know each other.

Hayden laughed, it was more self-decrepitating than happy, "It's okay if we don't, Orion, it's what getting to know someone is all about." not sure why Orion was denying the fact they honestly wouldn't be able to answer many questions about each other if asked.

"We do," Orion stubbornly ground out, and without really thinking it through.

Hayden stared, incredulous with disbelief, giving him a look that suggested he was utterly mad. "Really?" he couldn't help but ask dryly.

Then like a Lumos it clicked, "You're referring to the betrothal gifts, aren't you?"

Hayden watched, wondering at the lack of hurt, or confusion, "That clinched it for me, yeah." He nodded, shivering a little, it was still cold weather. He was just glad it wasn't snowing if he was honest.

"You stupid fool," Orion said, shaking his head grasping a hold of Hayden's face, despite his words, his touch was delicate, reverent. "You should have written to me." He said his tone exasperated and eyes almost watery as he realised, he hadn't screwed up this time, no it was entirely Hayden and his assumptions. If he didn't know any better – and he did – he'd say Hayden was prejudice against the old ways. Hayden's attitude to the old ways though, bordered on deferential.

"Do you want to end up back in the dog house?" Hayden asked him, but his tone was filled with confused amusement. He didn't mind Orion's outburst, in fact, he loved that he could elicit it from him. Orion was always so calm and composed, and when he wasn't that way? He normally left. Made a swift exit as if fearing showing emotion would mar the Black name. His green eyes avidly watched each and every emotion that plastered itself across Orion's face. Sirius might have looked like Orion…and the rest of the Black's but he was so very vocal, and Hayden couldn't help but wonder if it was something to do with being less like the Black's or his time in Azkaban.

It hurt that he'd never truly gotten to know his godfather.

"I sent those particular betrothal gifts for a reason," Orion said, fondness exuding from him.

The amusement Hayden felt dimmed and the confusion vanished, "I'm not mad at you because of those stupid gifts!" Hayden ground out, putting distance between himself and Orion once more.

Orion opened his mouth before closing it with a snap, what had he said now? "Then tell me why you've been avoiding me!" he eventually snapped, bloody hell he was the most infuriating, annoying bloody…gorgeous creature on this earth. His eyes looked luminous when he was angry, Orion noticed, he was so distracted by Hayden's magnificence that he almost, almost didn't hear the reply.

Which would have been a very, very bad thing.

"BECAUSE I'M AFRAID TO KNOW WHETHER YOU'RE WANTING ME JUST BECAUSE I'M A CARRIER!" his voice, if it had been inside, would have reverberated through various rooms. As it was, the yell was followed by silence, with only the occasional noise by a distant bird.

Orion blinked, the ringing in his ears entirely ignored, as was his manner of speech, as he stared at Hayden in disbelief. Just how low did one's self esteem get that they would believe someone was interested in them just because they were a carrier? It made his heart lurch that Hayden would think such a thing. He was…so much more than his status. It just amplified what was already there.

Orion had watched his share of romantic overtures, seen betrothed pairs marrying off. Both that seem very happy with their match and others that were resigned to it. Parents putting their children into political matches, he had a feeling that they would be the last ones to suffer such a fate. He'd felt like they were entirely foolish with their romantic idealisation. Humiliating themselves, and for what? They were going to be married either way.

He understood now, if they felt even a measure on what he did…he didn't blame them. Inhaling sharply, he spoke, grasping his wrist, he spoke from the heart, and it wasn't anywhere near embarrassing as he thought. "You are far more than your ability to have children. While the ability is rare, its not who you are. Not even your name defines you. You are the bravest, protective, sensitive, strong and more importantly devoted wizard I've ever met."

Hayden blinked owlishly, his cheeks going ruddy red, warmth suffusing him, "Out of both of us, you're the most devoted." He said, shyly, "You love your family so much Orion…its beautiful…and irreplaceable. You're so lucky." Maybe, just maybe if they were both lucky, he'd gain Orion's staunch devotion too.

All he'd ever wanted was family.

Soon enough, Orion would become that family, along with the rest of the Blacks.

More importantly something even more precious.

"You're so committed, your dedication to what you think is right, despite the danger it poses is stunning." Orion continued to lay bare all Hayden's virtues. "I want you for all those virtues and more, the fact you're a carrier…and a Peverell…is trivial."

Hayden swallowed thickly, licking his lips, "You actually mean that, don't you?" eyes wide with wonder and happiness. Merlin, help him, but Orion was perfect, and this…this just made him all the more perfect in his eyes. He believed him, despite the fact Orion could be lying through his teeth and just using him for his ability and name he believed him wholeheartedly. "Then why did you buy the betrothal gifts you did?" it so wasn't him at all, it's like they'd been pre-picked years before. The feelings he always got when he thought of them, curiously absent.

Unbeknown to Hayden, it was actually true.

"I mean a betrothal is meant to show and share just how well you know one another," Hayden continued, "To prove you're the one the other deserves. To prove yourself to your betrothed."

Orion snorted, bordering on derisive, much to Hayden's fascinated surprise. There was nobody that adhered to tradition, who respected it more, even if Orion would insist that it was Hayden. "That may be the way it used to go," he confessed, "Now its just a pissing contest, to see who can outspend the other. If I had…gotten you what I wanted to…and people found out? They would never respect you, never believe we're anything but a forced match, they would believe I used you to get out of the contract with Walburga. Or because of your name and abilities." Orion's grey eyes flared as he spoke protective and possessive in equal measures.

"I'll be damned before I allow that belief to take root." He wanted Hayden to flourish in the magical world, to want to stay, to see and love it the way he did. He could imagine the reactions he'd get, how he'd be desperate to return to the Muggle world where he grew up. The thought of that desire to better their world dying off was dismaying.

Fingers twitching as both longed to touch, but didn't know how to reach out and take. Then there was the impropriety of the touch. They were still only betrothed, and really should only be meeting while family was present. Fortunately, it was the spirit of the Betrothal that was followed these days not the letter of it. fortunately, Hayden had, had a less ridged upbringing and zero education where it came to anything other than a basic school education when he was able to attend.

Hayden gently took Orion's hand and tugged him passed the wards of the estate. "I'm going to see Tom tomorrow, near the Shrieking Shack…would you like to come with me?" continuing their conversation as they entered the tent. He didn't want to be without Orion, not tonight, he just wanted to be selfish and have him all to himself. Time spent with Orion was more precious than anything else, including gold.

Unbeknown to either of them, a picture had been taken of the duo, with Hayden's emotions clearly displayed for all to see.

"Near the Shrieking Shack?" Orion said, sounding unamused, "We'll have to be careful." There would be nobody around, he cautiously worried that Tom was up to something. Well, he wasn't going to leave Hayden to go alone. Plus, he was genuinely curious to see how the meeting would go. Would Tom show Hayden the 'front' he used everywhere or the real him he displayed in Slytherin common room?

"Why is it called the shrieking Shack?" Hayden asked, sighing softly, when the firepit sprung to life, warming up the tent. He was surprised that it was called the Shrieking Shack here in this time, he'd expected it to be well, decades before it's time. He did indeed catch the 'We' in what Orion said, and he was rather grateful, he had no idea how Tom would react once he'd done what he was setting out to do.

"Because Shrieking can be heard, and it looks like a shack?" Orion said bluntly, giving Hayden a look that suggested he was dim-witted.

Hayden smothered his amusement as he raised his hands nearer the flames, there surely should be some awkwardness…after the day's revelations and his own embarrassment for ignoring Orion. He was meant to be brave, these days he didn't feel very brave. Unfortunately, once bitten twice shy and this saying has proven to be true in this regard. "I expected something cool, like a werewolf going there for the Full Moon." He shrugged, hiding a secret smile in his shoulder.

"A werewolf? At Hogwarts?" Orion said wryly, "If such a thing were to happen Dumbledore wouldn't last a day. Which truly is too bad, he's going to be one of the worst Hogwarts Headmaster's the school has ever seen." His tone imperious and all-knowing.

Hayden stared at the flames, yeah, he was going to be. Dumbledore shouldn't be allowed near children, and that was just the icing on top of a mountain of knowledge Hayden possessed. He was callous, manipulative, downright deceptive, and more importantly, he made you care. That was the worst thing about Dumbledore, he'd looked up to him, almost like a grandfather, thought he was cared about in turn, more fool him. "You have no idea." Hayden said, his voice hoarse.

"Hayden?" Orion asked, moving so he was face to face with him. "What's wrong? Have you met him before?" lifting his chin, confused, before he realized who he was talking to and almost wanted to smack his palm into his face for his idiocy. "You saw something…" he trailed off, the look on Hayden's face told him that it wasn't something good.

Hayden huffed out a tired strained sound, he didn't want to lie. No, he refused to lie. At least he didn't want to constant lie to someone he cared for very deeply, okay, yes, loved. If this was what love was like, of course, but Hayden had never felt it before. He'd cared for Ginny, but there had been something missing, the passion, the desire, those he felt very deeply for Orion.

"Hayden?" Orion asked, his tone still filled with concern, had he said something to cause that upset? It was exasperating how easily he kept screwing up.

"I um…can't say," Hayden confessed sounding drained and apologetic.

"Can't or won't?" Orion questioned, puzzled, Hayden had never hesitated to tell him whatever was on his mind before. How perplexing, was it something that had happened during their time apart? Had Hayden found another suitor? Was he just afraid to tell him? Or had he seen himself with another more suitable suitor? Or was this truly to do with Dumbledore? The Wand? Which by the way was in the Daily Prophet with "any information pertaining to the return of the wand two thousand galleons". It just amused his grandparents and great grandparents. That sort of money was pocket change to them and they got too much amusement out of seeing the advertisements.

Then there was the fact that loyalty meant something to the Blacks – most Black's – to be sure.

Hell, if he confessed everything Orion would think he was insane. He'd be locked up – or they'd attempt it at any rate – in St. Mungo's before he could swear a vow of truth. He wanted to start afresh, but to do that meant lying. It hadn't been a problem in the beginning, in fact, he'd found it funny stretching the truth. The thought of doing the same to Orion – for the rest of their lives – turned his stomach. "Will you stay with me tonight?" he asked, making no effort to conceal any attempts to change the subject.

Orion didn't even pause before agreeing, "Wouldn't you prefer coming to mine? To sleep on a real bed this evening? Eat real home cooked food?" not stuff heated up with a flick of his wand.

"I want it to be just us," Hayden confessed, sitting down with a sigh, grateful just to be in the warmth. "I know it's wrong, you should be with your family right now, especially Cygnus and Alphard." His tone filled with such, such sympathy and empathic hurt he knew the boys would be feeling. Hayden had lost his parents when he was too young to truly remember them, regardless of what Pollux had done, he was sure they would be hurting so badly.

"The boys and Walburga are in Shell manor, which is where Dorea and Charlus live," Orion explained, "There's also a Shell Cottage, and across from the cliffs is Potter Manor and the estate surrounding it. Shell Cottage is used by the House-elves."

Hayden blinked, then blinked again, confusion squirming in his gullet, that wasn't right. Charlus and Dorea didn't have a living child. She'd given birth to a stillborn child – bless them all – so what they had should have reverted to the Potter estate. Which meant to his grandparents, then his parents, then him. He hadn't seen anything in the journals indicating the sale of the land or properties, they'd had no need to do it. "Oh?" not as surprised as he ought to have been. He was hungry, but not hungry enough to move, or eat the pre-cooked food he bought.

"Dorea and Charlus have been trying to have a child for a long, long time now. Same with the Potters actually." Orion confessed quietly, grunting a little when he was yanked down, and a throw was passed over. It was much too intimate than they should be, but Orion cared little for propriety's sake right now. Not when Hayden lay against his shoulder, his breathing ghosting against his neck. Which had an unexpected reaction from him, and he found himself very grateful indeed for the covers thrown over him. Mostly so that Hayden didn't realize how he was reacting to such an innocent thing. "They're beginning to get to that age where it's unsafe to have a child." they noticed at a certain age, that they declined in certainty of surviving. Even his own mum had passed that point, and they wouldn't have a child now, even if they could. His father would never allow it.

"They'll have one," Hayden said, but it sounded like an assurance than an actual declaration, but the thing was Hayden could mean it both ways. Wrapping the covers around his neck and shoulders, unhooking his cloak, and toeing off his shoes and getting comfortable.

"My dad and my…Pollux were the only ones to have children out of my grandparents five siblings." Orion told him, unable to call Pollux an uncle after his betrayal. "Infertility has run rampant in the family…and it takes years before they have one…enduring a lot of heartache in the process." He wasn't sure he could endure that sort of heartache.

"Some heartaches are worth it," Hayden said, as Orion got himself comfortable with a look that suggested he was enduring this decision instead of relishing in it. Turning on his side, both of them face to face, noses nearly touching and Orion felt himself positively melting, the closeness made him feel…good.

"Perhaps," Orion murmured, while the children were 'hypothetical' his desire to be father was ingrained and one of his greatest desires. So, maybe Hayden was right.

"What would you name them?" Hayden asked, scooting just a little bit closer to Orion who wrapped his arm around Hayden and pulled him the rest of the way.

Despite Hayden's tiredness, Orion and Hayden made up and chatted for over four hours before succumbing to the much-needed sleep.

A/N – Sooooo I managed to keep my promise but I do hope you don't all think the chapter is going to be a long one. I hope to get at least 3-4K written so it's nearly full length…but we'll see how it goes now won't we? MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS! I hope you all have a sensational day, whether you celebrate with family or furbabies 😊 I did both 😉

So, last chance on Tom Riddle's character, since I definitely do NOT want to get confused for a bit like I did in The Games They Play OMG I ended up going back and forth the entire story so no way. He's either the Dark Lord and Hayden kills him, with regrets, or he's redeemable and becomes manipulative instead of murderous 😊 what's it to be? R&R please guys