VIII) Not dead
(The second morning of Yeong's recovery.)
(AN: Italics are text messages.)
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Gon POV:
I'm present when they refresh your wound dressing.
Both a warning and an order - unnegotiable either way; even though they both know it to be a plea, too.
Gon waits, phone still in hand: Yeong should be awake already by now. Yeong's answer pings right away.
Of course, Pyeha.
Gon sets the phone down with a sigh. He doesn't like texting; at least not if it's Yeong he is texting, apparently. (It is still better than nothing, of course; for as long as Yeong is bedridden at The Royal Hospital - one has to be grateful for modern technology.) But Gon is missing all the exact little nuances in Yeong's tone. Does this 'Pyeha' infers some annoyed eye roll and a defeated sigh? Or a worried look with an indulging nod? Or a disapproving shake of the head but a fond smile? As text, it is simply that word - his title. It is never simply his title in Yeong's voice; and least of all when directed at him. It's unnerving.
But Gon has Yeong's acceptance - as always; and that's all that matters in the end.
Gon needs to *see* that Yeong is healing. And so Yeong will allow him to see; even though he'd rather not. Body privacy just ceases to exist if Yeong is injured.
It's not that Yeong's body belongs to Gon, of course (even though it does, in a way; and even though Yeong would agree that it does - two facts Gon equally cherish and *hate*).
It's not that Yeong is in fact a private person, body wise, either: Yeong used to be the first disrobing for a swim in the pool and such when they'd been kids and teenagers, always unbothered and somehow more free than Gon could ever be about how he looked or whether his hair, clothes, whatever, were constantly in perfect order or not. Yeong hadn't been a public figure - until he had chosen to be one; and he had never looked anything but comfortable in his own skin - both before and after that choice. But Yeong still did become more private, at least towards Gon, even if only by force of... habit? Last time Gon has seen Yeong in a tee shirt or anything short-sleeved? Probably in The Navy; and definitely before Yeong became a Royal Guard. Last time Gon had seen Yeong in shorts? Same answer. Or maybe the last time Yeong had had to fill in as a 'Descendant' for a rowing race - three years ago or so... (It had happened twice, but both in early spring, so maybe shorts - but long sleeves). But it's not *only* habit: it's also practicality. Gon knows the suits have always allowed Yeong to hide his not self-inflicted but definitely self-called upon bruises, right...
Gon had only realized all this though in a timeline that doesn't exist anymore and yet still does (if only for the both of them and maybe Kang S- Hyeon Min): when Gon had been actually surprised by how much Yeong's upper body had changed - there had been muscles developing already before (and even more during) their military service, for sure; but it had still been baffling, to have to reconcile the lanky figure Gon had grown up next to for years with the undeniably robust arms and pecs and abs suddenly on display when Gon had checked on Yeong's already gone bruise in The Republic.
But the truth is, Yeong apparently dislikes it nowadays, when Gon is seeing more of Yeong's skin than Yeong's head and hands poking out of a suit (aka Yeong's protocol uniform; aka Yeong's *armor*). It has little to do with body sanctity or boundaries. It just means that something harmful has happened to Yeong's body - which is definitely wrong on itself; but that's not the core of the issue. It means Yeong feels that he failed - even when he prevailed, even when he won: because he still failed at not getting injured; at keeping Gon from having to worry about him.
And the truth is, Gon dislikes it too - and with a passion. He honestly wishes never to get to see ever again more of Yeong's skin than its usual and very satisfying *safe* amount. He has already seen too much of it and too often for a lifetime and several timelines as it is. Never again; please.
But before never seeing any of it ever again? Gon will not only take but even provoke any opportunity to see that Yeong is indeed healing all right, you bet.
Gon checks his reflection in the mirror one last time then exits his bathroom, typing again already:
Do you need anything?
Thank you but I'm good, Pyeha. (This 'Pyeha' definitely comes with a fond smile, Gon decides.) My parents already took care of everything.
*Entertainment* included?
Indeed, Pyeha. (Probably accompanied by a shake of his head.)
On my way. (Ensuring Yeong could make sure the hospital staff would have him decent enough before his arrival, if they hadn't yet - the last thing Gon would want would be for Yeong to feel even more embarrassed than he was already going to be.)
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No one lingers around; every citizen being aware of the necessary security guidelines after their King had been (supposedly) attacked. But cards and small gifts for Yeong are getting stacked (and regularly removed) against the fences next to The Palace's main gate or The Royal Hospital's pedestrian entrance. And no matter how much Gon *hates* the fact that Yeong- (let's just *not* go there); he can't help but feel warmth, at those simple proofs that Yeong is cherished by The Kingdom. So, Gon takes a few pictures as they drive by for Yeong to see, then takes the bundle from the seat next to him and waits for his cue to get out of the car.
Yeong will no doubt hide a blush and get a genuine 'Thank You But Please Refrain' general message published; and ask for the flowers, stuffed toys, etc to be sent to Corean's hospitals, care houses, and orphanages (after they've been through security checks, of course). But he will for sure be touched by the little attentions, so Gon has (after they've been through security checks too) every envelope opened and proofread by Secretary Kim's team since this has started, the previous afternoon, and is now delivering a first selection of best wishes and children drawings to their rightful owner. Gon hasn't looked at them: he trusts his people's choice, and they're for Yeong.
Six Royal Guards are around him the moment the door opens, Park In Young leading the way.
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It's not too early, but still over an hour before visiting hours. Gon salutes the two Palace Guards keeping vigil at Yeong's door while Park In Young enters and checks the room. Gon sees Yeong exchange a thankful and reassuring nod with his Team 2 Captain right before turning his attention to him as he walks in too. Park In Young bows and leaves the room.
Yeong is still evidently tired, but much less pale already than the day before. And he looks very much humbled indeed, when Gon shows him the pictures and hands him over the stack of greetings. There is a shy smile on his face as Yeong goes through it, turning the open pages laid on his lap over with his good hand. He chuckles once, holding a drawing up for Gon to see. A young child had depicted Yeong (the hair is an impressive very near match, Gon decides) as some superhero in a fluorescent green costume - black cape and identifying sign on the chest included.
"The Royal Guard's new dress code?"
"Do not tempt me," Gon teases back.
A few pages later, Yeong pauses longer than usual - a soft, soft smile on his face - before holding once more a paper up for Gon to see.
"You have a fan, Pyeha. Needless to say, I entirely agree."
A message from a child a few years older than previous budding artist, obvious special care taken in the neat calligraphy of the big centered text, while the name and age scribbled on the down corner were barely recognizable: 'Awesome Captain Jo Yeong. I wish you a very swift recovery. Thank you so much for protecting His Majesty. His Majesty is The Best. Always.'
"So do I. You *are* awesome."
Yeong's eyes are gently laughing as he shakes his head before focusing back on the rest of today's collection. Once the pile ends, Yeong asks for Gon to scatter all the pages on the bed, and to take a picture to go with his statement, for Secretary Kim's eventual communication needs. Yeong is never keen to be in the spotlight; but he knows when it is just necessary. He has been at Gon's side for about all his life after all. Gon takes three pictures, for good measure; then sets everything in a box on the night stand by Yeong's right hand - Yeong's favorites on top.
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A knock on the door, and Park In Young gets back in with a nurse, who right away bows low upon seeing him - "Your Majesty". It's time to refresh Yeong's wound dressing, but she can come back later, she hesitantly half announces half asks.
"Do proceed," Gon declares with a nod; and the nurse bows again, "Your Majesty". A second passes; the nurse (and Park In Young) apparently expecting and waiting for Gon to exit the room until it would be done.
"His Majesty stays," Yeong just says, already sitting up, pushing on his good arm, and the nurse instinctively rushes to help him - and that is that. Gon stays. Which means Park In Young stays too. Yeong is aware and consenting. So the nurse just helps Yeong further up until he's sitting in the right position and gets to work, focusing strictly on her patient. Yeong focuses only on her too as she works, trying to be as cooperative as possible.
The hospital gown opens, revealing Yeong's front as the nurse now begins to detach Yeong's bandage from behind.
It's the first time Gon sees the damage in daylight, and the two hematoma's look even worse than in his memory. Gon clenches his fists, forcing himself to stay still and not leap forward and *demand* to see Yeong's back too right this moment. The worst is yet to come, anyway.
Bandage finally untied, the nurse gets back to Yeong's front, blocking Gon's view. The bandage and then some red stained gauze are set aside, and disinfectant's smell fills the room as a bottle is uncapped. The nurse cleans and checks Yeong's left shoulder for a while. Yeong kind of winces, once - if only a telltale change in his breathing.
"It looks quite fine. No sign of infection."
The nurse is about to open a new set of gauze but Yeong interrupts:
"Would you mind waiting for a minute before patching it back up?"
"Oh. Sure. No trouble at all." The nurse hurries back on her feet and makes herself as tiny as possible against the wall, bowing again, eyes staying down.
"Thank you" - two voices echo at once.
Yeong's gaze lowers too as Gon approaches; eyes fixed upon his now tensed right hand. It makes it easier though for Gon to keep himself in check, so Gon doesn't voice any comment as he just stands, back straight, hands behind his back, eyes set on the now closed *hole* in Yeong's left shoulder.
It's silly, somehow. Now that it's not bleeding, it looks reddish still more than purple, and quite small, in comparison to the other bruises. To think it could have actually caused Yeong- No. *No*. Gon takes a breath. He decides, right then: he is not going to hate that mark. He hates that there is a mark, you bet; but he is going to be thankful that it is that mark, all in all, and not another. It could have been worse - so much worse. It still feels *wrong*, of course. Strangely less terrifying; yet more terrifying - it's hard to define. But plain *wrong*.
Gon's fingers itch from the urge to feel Yeong's thankfully still warm skin; but Gon doesn't touch, this time. Yeong winced; so Gon will refrain from probing to reassure himself until it is less sensitive, no matter how long it might take.
Gon takes another step forward, in order to be able to see now Yeong's back. It looks worse than in his memory too. And that says *a lot*. Gon takes another breath. He remembers it: Yeong's body *slamming* against his back, as Yeong had been covering him and had got hit in his place - for him; but because of him. Six times, Gon now knows. Six times.
Gon has demanded Seok Ho Pil to bring to him Yeong's bloodied clothes and the nine wretched bullets, once they will be done with investigating them. Gon will ask Yeong if he wants to keep any - but Gon thinks Yeong would rather for it all to just end up in the trash. If so, Gon will *burn* the clothes - Yeong choosing to be present or not for it. But the bullets, Gon will keep. They are just too *sacred* to be discarded in a bin.
"Is everything healing as it should, all considered?", Gon asks the nurse without looking at her, eyes still roaming over Yeong's back.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Good. Thank you. I'll let you finish, then."
Gon retreats to his previous spot, giving the nurse a nod.
"Thank you, Your Majesty."
The room falls silent as the nurse resumes her work as if she hadn't been interrupted. Yeong thanks her when she's done; and she leaves the room, after a last bow and a last "Your Majesty". Park In Young follows her out.
Only then does Yeong meet Gon's gaze again. He looks contrite, if anything.
"Thank you, Yeongie."
And that's not simply for having let Gon see what he had wanted to see.
"I'm - I *will* be all right, Pyeha."
"Do try to heal faster, though?"
It doesn't sound at all as the joke Gon had intended.
But well, Gon knows now an always efficient way to lighten the mood: mention Eun Bi and Kha BI.
"Anyway," Gon forces himself to cheer up; taking out his phone and a wireless speaker he's brought along with this in mind if necessary and setting on repeat the first movement of The Moonlight Sonata by the door (not too loud, but loud enough to cover whispering voices) before taking a seat close to Yeong and lowering his voice. "How does it feel to be a big brother, Yeong-ah? I want to know *everything*. Tell me though you haven't watched Avatar (ATLA) with them already, or I am going to be ridiculously crossed at the three of you. Also, I can't believe we haven't introduced your siblings yet to D&D? We must remedy this as soon as you get out of that bed, right?"
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They chitchat some; until Yeong asks, somehow shy, or careful - quite unusually anyway:
"The flute? Does it still works the same, Pyeha; now that it's whole?"
"I'm not sure. I wasn't paying attention to the scenery two nights ago, right; and I haven't used it since. The in-between looks brighter than before - even though it was night. And it is... enormous. So many paths... There used to be only two portals - ours, and..."
Gon lets the sentence unfinished; realizing that Yeong has done some thinking since the day before, groggy or not, and understanding what Yeong is in fact hinting at, and why he is acting shy and careful: Yeong is worried about what happened with the portal opening into The Republic - and apparently not only because of Eun Seob.
"Pyeha... If you taught me anything? It's that you can make the impossible possible. You'll find Lt Jeong Tae Eul."
"I'll keep trying until I have. Even if she probably doesn't remember anything. I just have to know that she is doing all right, at least."
"If she doesn't remember, Pyeha? She'll just fall in love with you again. I'm bedridden still; and the nurses repeat to me every time I see them that you told them to make sure I stay put. Besides, I do know that I have to take it slow first, in order to hopefully recover as fast as I hope. You do not have to keep me in check. Go, Pyeha. Just- Be careful? *Please*, be careful. Only a few hours at a time, if possible? As far as everyone is concerned, it all happened only yesterday. Go easy on Ho Pil; don't make him doubt he's a capable Acting Captain. Leave the usual *written* note when you go. But text me right when you get back; if it's not too much trouble?"
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Gon gets back to The Palace. Park In Young follows him to his study (Gon needs to *unwind*, and math does help even when it doesn't) and tastes his meal when it arrives. (Gon hadn't eaten anything at the hospital the day before; and he has prepared himself a few snacks last evening and his breakfast this morning.) It just feels weird.
"We'll find them, Your Majesty. We'll find them."
Evidently, she hasn't liked seeing the extent of Yeong's battered state either - and she hasn't even seen it all.
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AN:
*Dreamy sigh*. Have I already mentioned that I LOVE THEM?
This is quite a short chapter; but what was originally but the first alinea of what will now be next update sort of took on a life of its own, so it's actually more, not less?
Huge hugs everyone!
Also: If you have never seen Avatar (The Last Airbender) - just do :) (And guess what: I'm a Zuko girl! What a surprise!) I love being a Mom :)
Finally, for your information: that first texted 'Pyeha' infers a worried look with an indulging nod :)
(And as always, thanks for any feedback: it means the Manpasikjeok to me!)