X) Into the fantasy (1/3)

(Tyrant-verse trip(s) and consequences.)

(Warning: mentions of dubcon in truth so dubcon it is in fact noncon - between the two "/" signs.)

.

Messages:

G: My chambers. Now.

Y: On my way.

.

Gon POV:

Gon knows he just put a sudden stop to this morning's briefing, for sure: it's not even 06:35 yet. But then, whatever would have been tackled is going to get cancelled anyway: Gon has just sent a message to Secretary Kim about clearing his schedule until further notice.

Gon still hasn't recovered from the shocking horror, nor from its consequential fury and disgust - and correlated unshakable guilt and shame; no matter what. Gon wants to rage, burns to punish; just as fiercely as he feels like tearing himself out of his skin. He hadn't known what to expect, when he had entered the tyrant-verse (on the same day, judging from the newspaper on display, but hours earlier: it had been evening still and not the wee hours in the morning), and had decided to break into The Palace in search for information (as the flute had brought him and Tae Eul that one time right into the public park next to its Main Gate); but he surely hadn't and wouldn't have ever imagined *that* - not even in his worst nightmares. Too many and too deep contradictory feelings running full circle, trapped inside him with nowhere to go. There is only time and need for *action*, though; and that is the only urge Gon will allow to be driven by right now.

It takes less than seven minutes (Yeong did definitely hurry: Gon knows exactly how far The Royal Guard's briefing room is) before Yeong knocks at Gon's private quarters's front door - nothing but the usual efficiency and seriousness audible in his voice, despite such an unusual command at such an unusual hour:

"I'm here as requested, Pyeha. Permission to come in?"

Gon feels somehow calmer at once (even if barely). He still doesn't see how they're going to work it all out; but Yeong is here. And Gon always - always - trusts in Yeong's capacity to save the day:

"Granted."

Yeong literally runs to Gon the moment the door closes behind him - now openly alarmed; but not surprised by Gon standing in full black attire in the middle of the front room, instead of lingering in bed in PJ's as usual at this time in the morning. (Yeong has evidently been notified by now about Gon's excursion in the early morning, of course - even though it happens often enough lately for The Royal Guard to have let its Captain sleep, apparently, as Gon had left a note; and the reason Yeong had not sought Gon out right away upon having heard about it probably being that Gon had already made it safely back home by then, even if the fact that Gon hadn't informed Yeong in advance - as was nowadays the norm - must have had Yeong puzzled and worried.)

Gon can't help but think though that Yeong should in truth run in the opposite direction: that he should run away - far away from him: he's nothing but *a vicious monster*. Gon is only grateful though that Yeong doesn't - yet: Gon *needs* Yeong's help - even if for the last time.

"What can I do for you, Pyeha?"

And maybe that's what does it: the absolute determination, the complete willingness - again; always. The over-25-years-old oath (and from three timelines); still pouring fresh from Yeong's entire being - constantly renewed and re-sworn, in everything Yeong ever does or says. I'm here for you. Whatever you might need, I'll do my very best (and even more) to deliver.

But just like that, only Gon's *resolve* remains; any other suffocating feeling at once fading to the background - irrelevant, right now. I will do right by you. I will.

"Did anything happen in The Republic?" - Of course, Yeong has already decoded that this isn't a Kingdom emergency. But only now does Gon realize the actually possible extent of Yeong's (on that account unnecessary) worry.

"Another universe."

Yeong seems somewhat relieved - fully concerned still about the task ahead, of course; but not worrying anymore about the welfare of people they both care about - and Gon can't help but internally cringe, knowing it is going to be short-lived.

But, even though Gon has never felt less worthy of being King, Gon stands tall and meets Yeong's gaze square on - with clear intent, and no hesitation; the possibly terrible price this might cost him notwithstanding. Yeong might - could; should - grow to fear him, despise him, even hate him. Gon is ready to face it all; it is just that imperious to him to right such a wrong.

"We must rescue someone. Today. Tonight. Before tomorrow; at any rate."

Gon pauses - not because he's wavering; just because he's waiting for Yeong to indicate that he noted the deadline.

"Understood, Pyeha."

"Nam Seon Ho. We must rescue Nam Seon Ho."

Yeong automatically tilts his head, utterly focused on absorbing that name, and any further bit of information about to follow - a soldier at a mission briefing.

"And by rescue, I mean *extraction*."

That does definitely intrigue Yeong - a twitch at his eyebrows; and Gon confirms that Yeong understood exactly what Gon meant, indeed.

"He won't ever be safe, if he stays in his own world. And I want - *I need* - to make sure that he is safe."

Yeong keeps silent, still waiting for the rest of the mission's parameters before commenting - and Gon can only hope that it means that Yeong sensed at least that Gon isn't contemplating actual kidnapping, no matter how potentially well-intended. But Gon can't help but take a breath, before taking the double plunge.

"It's you, Yeong; another you."

Gon has consciously strictly used Yeong's given name. And not out of habit; even though that's probably how Yeong has heard it: it is usually a telltale sign of Gon being nervous and very serious after all - and Gon is definitely nervous and very serious right now. But because Gon has lost any right to ever call Yeong 'Yeong-ah'; and even less 'Yeongie' - and does that fact rips right through Gon like a blade to the heart.

Yeong is surprised; even though Gon can't tell if it's more about the news or about the Nam in the name (why not Jo, then?) - both, anyway.

"In another Palace."

This is again a surprise for Yeong, of course; but Gon reads most of all satisfaction on Yeong's features, when the fact clicks in Yeong's mind: surely, they know the location well enough to use it to their advantage.

"And we must save you *from me*."

Yeong now actually blinks - brain frozen, if for a second. And even when his focus is back, he looks totally *unbelieving* still; and Gon can't tell what cuts deeper: Yeong's unweavering and so deep-rooted trust in him being so obviously undeserved, or being about to get entirely and indelibly torn out - leaving a gaping bleeding hole right in the center of Yeong's soul.

"But you must persuade him, Yeong. You must. No one else can."

/

(AN: Parts between ## are background history Gon heard Tyrant-Gon muse about, or bits of would-be-too-much extra information or inner thoughts Gon keeps to himself and doesn't share with Yeong while making his report.)

And so Gon tells it all; pushing guilt and shame aside in order to list fact after fact after fact after fact. Keeping Yeong in the dark about any of it is simply *not* an option. Glossing over the hard facts wouldn't only be both stupid (as everything would get obvious quickly enough) and disrespectful; it would also be counter-productive, and even worse: possibly dangerous. Yeong has to understand the absolute necessity of the rescue; and, even more, Yeong has to be as prepared as possible about exactly what (and who) they would be coming up against. It's not only going to be a hell of a 'technical' challenge to get Nam Seon Ho out of The Palace. It's going to be even more complicated, because Nam Seon Ho won't trust Gon - and with very good reasons.

So yes; Gon tells it all. Everything he uncovered last night; hiding behind a curtain in a twin version of his private office (except for the absence of the maps on the walls), as his doppelgänger had been talking half to himself half to the Nam Seon Ho in his head about their shared history and about his twisted anniversary celebrating plans involving the real Nam Seon Ho...

#

... while pleasing himself, to boot. And Gon had been internally screaming and recoiling at every word he had been hearing, but had kept himself in check; if only in order to find out as much information as possible before calling for the necessary back-up - Gon having quickly realized that he couldn't do much on his own right away, as he was actually the (carbon copy of the) perpetrator (the victim would never trust). And the horror he had felt had even grown further still, unbelievingly, as he had found out *who* he actually had to save - after having opened the fingerprint locked drawer his other self had just closed before leaving the room, and seen the CCTV picture his other self had been so enraptured by: from a few hours prior, judging by the date and time stamp; of a thin man, standing or better said hanging from the ceiling, torso bared, arms outstretched and attached above the head, feet barely touching the ground - and the long hair falling over half a face hadn't been familiar at all; but Gon had right away recognized the one blazing challenging eye staring right at the camera and the razor sharp cut of a fiercely set jaw.

#

Fifteen years.

Fifteen years since that repulsive version of Gon had gone to Nam orphanage in search of *a toy* (quote).

#

There, Gon's counterpart had appraised with evident interest a beautiful young girl; and her older brother had at once placed himself in front of her, looking menacing enough to risk beheading, before dropping to his knees, about to beg (a smarter tactic - as he would need to be alive still to be able to bargain for his sister's sake to begin with); when a clear voice had resonated - its owner stepping forward a bit further down the line, standing proud and tall: "I volunteer" - followed by two "Seon Ho, no!" Gon's doppelgänger had barely registered - his attention already solely focused on the unexpected willing prey. And what an exquisite prey! A biting laugh, though: "And why should I pick you over her - no; over them; boy?" "Because whatever His Majesty requires, I can do and will do - and better than them or anyone else. Put me to the test. I'm a fast learner." And that had definitely sealed the deal: the *intensity*, both of the determination and of the dare - voice fierce and gaze incendiary; no matter the obvious underlying plea. Do whatever you want to me; but please - please - do not harm them. So much potential, right there. A predatory smile: "As you wish, then. But know that those two will pay the price - should you fail to do so." A defying glare more than a pledge: "I will not fail." "Won't you? Well; I'll be the judge on that matter. Follow me." One decided step; right away chastised. "On your knees. And do keep up; I will not tolerate any delay." If looks could kill, right... But the spite and rebellion in those delicious dark eyes had of course never been echoed in words, and even less in deeds - on the contrary. Nam Seon Ho was always just as eager to please as unwilling to submit - a truly intoxicating mix, Gon's double hadn't seemed able to stop crooning over.

(And the correlated terrible but undeniable at once *understanding* gutting through Gon, when he had found out who Nam Seon Ho in fact was, that Yeong would, too, indeed: not only passively accept, but even actively seek out and provoke and do - whatever; even beg, and say please on repeat - if anyone just held a weapon at Gon's head with such a foul purpose in mind (no matter how slim the chances for such a situation, the rational part in Gon's brain had whispered, trying to be reassuring but utterly failing, submerged by so many waves of every kind of sentiment). And you bet Gon would swear revenge; would never rest until punishment had been dealt; would even plot about how best to make those filthy %#&%&%$&^%# wastes of space suffer, and suffer, and suffer, until *they*'d be begging for him to shove his gun into their mouth, no matter how forcefully, to finally end it all - even though knowing that Yeong would never let anything of the sort ever happen but would simply break their neck before Gon could even breathe out one single threat. But what could any of this instinctive urge for wrath ever mean - now that Gon himself (sort of) *is* the culprit?)

#

Fifteen years. Of sickening, sordid power play. Of revolting abuse - and of multiple types of abuse. Of constant abject depravation, both physical and mental. Of temporary but periodically inflicted starvation or dehydration. Of regularly orchestrated sessions of sadistic but mindful treatments - to hurt without damaging (#which of course only rang another sombre bell yet in Gon's mind in retrospect#). And of the occasional savage joke of parody of care - only to make it all even worse still.

#

(The 15th anniversary planning actually involving Nam Seon Ho being kept in a room Gon hasn't recognized for over two full days with only some water and limited rests, between periods of being kept hanged up or beaten up by some goons; before being shoved in one near-icy bath for cleansing; and then brought over to Gon's doppelgänger's playroom to be right away bended over and brutally taken from behind; before getting contemptfully yet authoritatively hand-fed a few treats meant only to leave Nam Seon Ho even more aware of his hunger than in the least satiated; and then getting cuffed on his back to the bed by the wrists and the ankles, and ordered to actually come (which Nam Seon Ho *hated* most of all) while being taken this time in a mocking of loving attention - or there would be consequences: for Nam Seon Ho indeed (even though this couldn't count as a threat at all - it was never really his own life Nam Seon Ho was always concerned about); but more importantly for Yeon and Hwi (a surge of delight in advance running through Gon's counterpart at Nam Seon Ho's bound to be revolted reaction, if only through his eyes, at him mentioning their names); and for the replacement new 'toy' Gon's double would then go fetch from the orphanage - only to end up being ordered to lick and suck and swallow his own cum right from his rapist's fingers, slowly, until all evidence of it would be gone; and then Gon's double would straddle him, and burn or cut a new mark into his skin (which meant there were already other marks); before fucking into his mouth but coming all over his face - eyes and mouth open; and just let him there like that for hours: spread and leaking, dirtied and claimed, sore and hungry and cold, exposed and vulnerable, as final humiliation; yet using him again, unceremoniously, as it'd please him and when it'd please him, all day long.)

Needless to say, hearing anyone making such plans about anyone else would make Gon *feral* - to put it mildly. So. To know it isn't only planning; but real and repeated - and for so long already? To actually hear *himself* gloat and revel in it all? To discover that the victim is *Yeong*? It isn't only next level of next level of next level; it is actually the summit of *horror* - no doubt. Lobotomizing that particular memory would probably be the only way Gon would ever be able to forget feeling that... filthy; disgusted and disgusting; terrified and terrifying - there are no words strong enough. Which would be worse: to live as a monster or to die as a good man? Never had that quote echoed so tragically understood, so intrinsically true. But Gon's inner conflicts cannot matter: the only thing of importance now is to save Nam Seon Ho.

#

Fifteen years. Of being but an imprisoned self-sacrificial slave, consenting only out of blackmail and will to keep others safe (which means no consent at all, indeed) to endure each and every disgusting whim of his jailer (and later on also of his jailer's jealous wife, aka Tae Eul's double (who regularly plans beatings or periods of starvation too - but nothing more, at least) - which is why asking for Tae Eul's help could not be possible: Tae Eul must never know - not only about what that wretched mirror embodiement of Gon has done, but also, and maybe even more, about what 'she' has done - even if it honestly cannot compare: to her, it's Eun Seob.)

And what makes it even worse, still, is that the ones Nam Seon Ho so fiercely intends to keep safe - his only reason to live on performing - are in fact dead, and for over a year already - in a car accident Gon's counterpart hadn't planned for, but had been definitely delighted to learn about (even though actually regretting not having it planned for, then: it would have been such a machiavelic move!) That knowledge's revelation is even the ultimate trump card Gon's double is savoring in advance and delaying playing for last; as final blow. He wants to break Nam Seon Ho just as much as he wants to keep enjoying toying with him for as long as he'll get. But he is definitely waiting - for that one time: that one time Nam Seon Ho finally either gives up or gives in (#that one time Nam Seon Ho lets out either a tear or a moan; instead of glaring at him#) - and then he's dead: game over.

/

But Gon tells it all; an intangible knife cruelly twisting further into his guts the more Yeong's face turns livid at his words, the more Yeong's eyes pass from disbelief to shock to a mixed display of fury and disgust and pain echoing his own - and realizing that Yeong will probably feel *just like this* whenever looking at Gon's face, from now on.

And then Yeong knows it all, finally; and he looks... bewildered to the point of being blank, actually? So Gon has to push his point; realizing he is begging, even though a King never begs - and not even caring about it.

"You'll take a leave when it's done - in order to aid him settle in and such; and I'll understand if you do not come back. But first; one last service, Yeong - not to The Crown; and even less to me. But for him. Please. Please, help me save him."

.

AN:

I do hate myself, but 1) Gon's inner darkness potential - and his actual awareness of it - is IMO legit canon: after all, no matter how much Gon truly reveres His Father, in a way, His fate might sort of be partly of his own making - blinded by his own kindness and/or unwillingness to act against his older brother before it had been actually too late; and you bet Gon has never forgotten that terrible last lesson. *MY HEART* I definitely did a number on Gon though here. It is not the first time; but it is definitely THE WORST EVER (TM). No one could be confronted with something like this and not end up wondering about what the hell is intrinsically and undeniably and terrifyingly SO VERY VERY WRONG with one self. But I swear all those bottled-up traumatizing guilts will get to be dealt with somehow. 2) TKEM Tyrant-verse does actually canonically exist. Can you believe it? I will never say anyone involved in making that show wasn't brave. (Just like anyone involved with Star Trek TOS Mirror verse, that initiated the trend...) 3) Woo Do Hwan is just too much, of everything, and all the time, (there are no words, honestly) for me to ever be able to even start to cope with any of it. And 4) (MCTNA SPOILER ALERT - Do yourself a favor and do not read further if you haven't seen MCTNA yet!) my 'never has there been one character more doomed by the narrative than thou' MCTNA blorbo does exist too. And so of course I just *had* to go there. All other re-uses of character names taken from other shows for any OC around here are nothing more than, well, *names* and vibes (as I've explained earlier); but Nam Seon Ho is truly here as Nam Seon Ho (even if obviously AU/OOC/OC, indeed). I had planned for 'a Tyrant-verse Yeong' OC needing saving from Tyrant-Gon right away; but you bet after having seen MCTNA, of course, said planned OC just couldn't be anyone else than Nam Seon Ho. *MY HEART* ! He just *fits* :( (After all, Yeong, Eun Seob and Nam Seon Ho DO have in common being intense and proud and insanely unhinged and always ready to be self-sacrificial to protect their loved ones, each in their own way, right ! *MY SOUL* - Am I chewing on glass again? You bet!) ; I simply had to indulge myself and tweak some MCTNA in his background. At least, precious Nam Seon Ho WILL be saved by the narrative, this time around! I just need to save him, ok, in a cathartic way? (Because I am unable to save him in a MCTNA way. I love the ending just as much as I hate it; so I don't really NEED to change it. *MY TEARS*)

Also: There will be no other chapter like this one. This is the bottom of the pit. It's also why the chapter is cut into several parts: it didn't feel right to 'soften' *this atrocity* by drowning it under the sappiness of what will follow. (even though you bet I am LONGING for said sappiness already - AAAAHHH ! *DREAMY SIGH*). (Not) Sorry.

And: I VOLUNTEER is so iconic that I believe it doesn't need further commenting :) It is probably one of the 'everyone knows' quotes I use the most, in RL too. So of course you bet I VOLUNTEER to do whatever will ever be necessary to make those two idiots finally live their best lives (and one pathetic meow meow (even if only cutie pie here) too on the side line while I'm at it).

And finally: High five to those who recognized the quote from Scorsese's Shutter Island :) (and a flashing huge pointing arrow to those who haven't seen it yet: MUST WATCH !)

(And as always, thanks for any feedback, it means the Manpasikjeok to me!)