A window in forks, my only true home came into my thoughts" Edward mused.
"It was so healing, so peaceful, like a tormented soul finding the afterlife"
Edward looked at Bella's house, gathering his courage to climb up a tree that would reach to her window.
It was open and Edward climbed carful not to make a sound. Edward sat next to the bed and observed her sleep. With each inhale he's losing his nerve.
"Bella" Edward calls out.
"Who's there?" Bella said and turned her night light on.
Edward rose from where he was sitting and her eyes popped seeing Edward standing inches away.
With his tail between his legs mouth pressed together in one line with deep embarrassment, he felt vulnerable and afraid of the final verdict he stood there in her bedroom.
Bella just stared at him not saying a word, stiff like wood she remained seated.
"I.. I couldn't stay away.." Edward began.
"I tried, I wanted to keep you from harm" Edward said but Bella didn't respond.
"Bella I.. hope I can come home to you" Edward said waiting for a sign that he can come closer.
"I promise I'll never leave If you're willing to accept me back" Edward cried tearless.
Her eyes burned with fury as she rose from the bed.
"Get out!" Bella shrieks pointing at the window.
Her dismissive screams sounded like an echo.
"No please Bella let me explain" Edward said clasping her hands into his. "I did this to save you"
"I don't want to hear anything from you!" Bella backs away,
"All this time, the whole time! You did nothing to save me!" Bella yells.
"Do not show your face here again, Don't you ever come here!" Bella shouts.
"Bella No, I can't.. please don't send me away "
"I'm begging you to take me back" Edward fell on his knees and grabbed onto her waist, pressing her stomach against his face.
He knew this was going to happen but hoped and prayed that Bella wasn't angry with him this long.
"I'm leaving" Bella said wanting to get him off but his grasp won't allow it.
"No, Don't leave me.. I'll spend an eternity to make things right.." Edward said lowering himself further to the ground and held onto her dress.
"Edward!" A firm hand appeared on his shoulder trying to yank him away. It wasn't Bella and looked up in shock. It was Carlisle and when Edward looked back at Bella she wasn't there.
Instead Edward was hugging a large oak tree on his knees.
"You'll drive yourself into insanity if you stay without feeding this long" Carlisle said strict but his eyes showed pity and concern over Edward.
Edward looked back at the tree once more, he was indeed hallucinating.
"Carlisle" Edward said resting his forehead against the tree. "We're not in forks?" Edward asks.
"No we're in Alaska still" Carlisle said.
"I'm sorry, I thought having plenty of wildlife compared to New York would help you" Carlisle said.
"I don't need to hunt" Edward said.
"You do Edward and you're coming with me whether you like it or not," Carlisle argues back.
"No" Edward said irate, he stood up ready to pounce.
"Run while you still can" Edward said lunging forward and Carlisle dodged,
Edward grabbed onto air looking confused at his empty grip, Edward growled his dark iris lit up with hatred,
"Don't you dare," Edward said, "You can't have her!"
Carlisle then realised he's having another hallucination and used his strength to pin him against a tree, When Edward stopped resisting he pulled Edward on his feet, he went mellow so Carlisle carried him instead.
Carlisle had left him alone for a few days, as soon as they arrived in the Alaskan forests, hoping he would pick up hunting himself, but he's been acting strange. Starting a fight with grizzly bears calling them Mike Newton or Jacob Black. Counting ants, feral behavior snarling and pouncing on family members coming close to offer him blood to drink and now it's vivid hallucinations about Bella rejecting him.
Carlisle placed him on a chair near his closet and Edward buried his face in his hands.
The recent bear fight has torn off most of his upper clothing and Edward snarled at Carlisle when he placed a clean polo shirt over his head. He didn't like having his deep thought about Bella disturbed.
" Just put it on" Carlisle huffed and Edward did the rest, " here" Carlisle said and placed slacks close to where he was sitting and left the bedroom.
Carlisle will have to return to a different location in Forks soon for his final shifts, But Edward hasn't gone back to Normal. Carlisle heard a thud on the carpet and Edward was on the ground again in a fetal position.
"Edward, this has gone far enough" Carlisle said, " I'm taking you back to Forks"
Edward only flinched in response, " Bella" Edward whimpered.
"I need to stay strong for her" Edward said.
" She deserves a life"
" Yes, but we can still return to Forks without her knowing" Carlisle said. " At least you are in the same region as her, maybe not being this far away from her will help you"
" But what If I put her in danger again?" Edward said.
" I will look after you, I'm not letting you go anywhere without me" Carlisle said.
" I promise you it will be all right" Carlisle said.
Then the phone started ringing and they both looked up, Carlisle picked up wondering why Alice was calling.
" Yes Alice?" Carlisle said.
" Carlisle don't take Edward to Forks, not yet" Alice said.
" Why what's wrong?" Carlisle asks.
" Bella has come very far in her healing journey, she's finally moving on and Edward needs to stay put at least for now" Alice said.
" I don't know how long I can do this Alice, We need to go home" Carlisle said. " His mental wellbeing is deteriorating from not hunting" Carlisle said.
" Bella is with the werewolves" Alice said.
Carlisle eyes grew a little, " You mean the children of the moon?" Carlisle said.
"No, The Black family, some of them are Werewolves" Alice said.
" Why on Earth would she?" Carlisle said and looked over his shoulder, Edward went back in his brooding stage curled up on the ground, not paying attention to reading anyone's thoughts, Carlisle went outside and continued listening.
"When Edward returns he won't heed your or anyone's word and will cross the treaty line to find Bella, they are not going to spare him" Alice said.
" How do you know about the Werewolves?" Where are they?" Carlisle said.
" At times I see visions about Bella without looking for her future, I've seen her speak to Billy black about the Quileute legend and the treaty line,
" I've seen Edward cross their land and I don't see his future, I don't see anything after that" Alice started to cry.
" No Alice don't cry" Carlisle said.
"I'll take him back to New York," Carlisle said,
" I also have a plan to keep him busy for a while at least, after that we'll think of something else" Alice said.
" I rather not tell you what" Alice said.
" I see" Carlisle said understanding.
" Thank you Alice, I'll meet you soon" Carlisle said.
" Mom misses you," Alice said.
" Tell her I miss her too, my darling Esme" Carlisle said.
" I miss all of you, We'll be leaving right now" Carlisle said and ended the conversation, Edward was at the same spot on the ground and Carlisle draped one arm around his shoulder and hoisted Edward on his back.
" Are we going home?" Edward murmured.
"Yes, I need to grab something at our Apartment in New York and then we are ready to leave" Carlisle said and keeps his thought occupied with mathematics as he moved towards the exit of the rented cabin.
-/-
When Edward thought about the idea of returning to Forks he started to function better in mere hours. Carlisle went with him to hunt before they reunite with the others, Edward ran through the forest closing in on an Elk. He regained his strength and hunted a handful of mountain lions, after having drank from 50 wild life Edward became self aware.
He couldn't wait to come home, the sun shines letting his frame sparkle, another reminder of Bella. Would she still think he's marvellous when she sees him again?
"Ready?" Carlisle smiled when Edward turned around. Edward no longer snarls or act feral, and Carlisle knows that returning home is what's needed.
"Carlisle, the way I behaved.. " Edward said looking ashamed.
"It's all right, when Vampires haven't hunted in a while they'll act a bit strange" Carlisle said.
Edward still felt a bit sore with himself, He snarled at Carlisle, picked a fight with him, becoming irate in a split seconds, brooding on the ground a moment later.
Thankfully his father never left his side, He doesn't know what he would have become if he was by himself. He would have maybe fed on humans after reaching a new breaking point.
Gold has returned into Edwards eyes, he was happy again especially when his father was never angry with him. He sure made a huge mess of things but now his life will only get better. Carlisle and Edward gave each other a warm glance before Carlisle gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder.
"Come on let's go home" Carlisle said for once Edward became in high spirits. They used their speed and Edward felt happier almost euphoric thinking about making his way back to Forks.
He has a lot of bucket list making things right with everyone, He'll give Alice a yellow Porsche for Christmas, and he'll never break his family apart again. He'll plan a trip to Leavenworth Washington with Bella. They celebrate the holiday merrily and she always wanted to visit there. And he'll give her the best holiday ever if she's willing to take him back.
Or he'll just pay for her and her friends if it's too late. Whatever the outcome of his departure might be, If Bella is alive and kicking he will always be there for her.
He wants to be home on Bella's favourite holiday, he wonders what he could bring her. Maybe a letter at first wishing her merry holidays from the bottom of his heart. Maybe ask if he wants to meet him at home and he'll prepare the best breakfast ever. If his efforts are a waste then he'll leave again and just remain with his family in New York forever. He doesn't want to disrupt her healing journey now that she has come so far.
Hopefully Bella will be merciful during this time of the year and welcomes him back or at least let him explain. It was never his intention to cause her so much pain.
Edward was on the couch looking at the snowflakes fall,thinking of her wondering what kind of presents she got her friends and Charlie, If only he could eat as vampire he would watch her show off in the kitchen. With other words he wants to be human, just one day in the year for her.
There is no point torturing himself any longer, He can't live without her. A human life is trivial she could be gone a few years, leaving gives no guarantee that she'll live long.
-
Carlisle and Edward approached the penthouse. Dread came over him again. How is he going to to tell his family to pack things up to leave soon.
When Esme caught a whiff of Carlisle Purdy scent she ran down the stairs Carlisle smiled letting go of his suitcase he hardly had a second to open one arm for her and she already glomps him merrily.
"Oh I'm so happy" Esme said.
Carlisle tightened his hold around her, "I need to grab a few things from my office, I have a long shift" Carlisle said.
"Work already?" Esme said,
"Yeah, but we'll catch up soon" Carlisle said and moved away. Edward watched Carlisle leave and wasn't sure what to do. Everyone accepted New York as their second home.
"Welcome home Edward" Esme greeted,
she was happy to see Edward and wanted to show him his new house Edward stiffens when Esme wanted to grab his arm.
"Mother, Is there a room further away from the others? I don't wish to hear their thoughts" Edward said,
" Of course, " Esme said and Edward walked after her, they moved passed large windows of the new penthouse in Ithaca.
Edward followed her in thoughts, He felt a bit uneasy he wanted to tell her that he's wavering from his plan, he wants to go home but everyone has settled here and Esme seems to enjoy being here.
Maybe he shouldn't make everyone move back to Forks, he could go alone with the excuse he's going to the University in Washington to be closer to Bella.
"Here it is" Esme said, Edward looked around, it had a large bedroom window, A new Piano has been placed there and a desk where he can sit and just stare at the city in full view.
"I also got some books to read, I hope you'll settle here" Esme said.
"Do you like New York?" Edward asks.
"The weather is similar to Forks, and there is more to do.. so yes I do like it here" Esme said.
"But what I like more is having our family complete, you'll stay with us right?" Esme said.
"Of course Mother, I'll stay for now" Edward said.
"I'll.. go to university to keep my mind of things" Edward said.
"That's great Edward, I'm so happy to see you're doing better" Esme said. He has finally been hunting.
"Yeah" Edward said, "It was hard but I'm finally looking forward to spending another holiday with you mother"
Esme smiled, l I suppose I could decorate the house, It's still not too late to buy things for a festive eve.
"You want to join?" Esme asked.
"Sure mother" Edward said.
"I'll ask Alice what everyone wants to have for Christmas" Esme said.
'I want Bella' Edward thought and followed her.
-/-
It was a cold gloomy morning, more snow has fallen and the night lights were still on. Charlie left earlier to work and Bella got Jacob some gifts and she's sure he'll be happy with it. She'll give it to him the next meeting.
Bella stepped out of her car and a man with long her caught sight of her at first he looked puzzled but when he recognises her face he smiled happily.
"Bella!" Jacob called out jubilant. Bella looked at him amazed,
" Jacob my I almost didn't recognize you," Bella said and allowed him to spin her. she got the tightest hug in a long time.
Bella had her arms around his broad shoulders, he felt so warm like a central warming, she could dose off in his embrace with ease.
Jacob then put her down, "I'm so happy to see you"
Bella wondered what happened to him, he's huge like he's on steroids.
" You've grown" Bella said still amazed.
"Puberty" Jacob said happy,
For some reason the pain she felt of being left behind no longer needed to be oppressed by staying busy, It was gone. Just like when she was face to face with her wolf friend.
It's so great to able to feel this way,
" You're okay Bella" Jacob asked,
"Yeah.. I'm just happy" bella said touching his long hair that reached over his chest.
" How have you been Jae?" Bella asks and Jacob held onto her hand as they went for a walk on the beach.
" I'm glad you finally came for a visit, you're here to stay for dinner, right?" Jacob said.
"Yes, I uh want say that I regret not being around people much, but thank you for willing to have me" Bella said,
"I'm thankful that I still have my friends in difficult times like this" Bella said.
" Difficult times?" What's wrong?" Jacob asks.
" Well I had a break up" Bella said, " He just doesn't want me anymore"
A hint of hostility was briefly over his features, "If I see the Cullens again I'll..
" No. Don't start a fight", "I don't want you to hurt each other" Bella said. " Besides Edward vowed he won't come back to Forks ever again"
"So."
"Right" Jacob said not very convinced, he knows that the bloodsucker might return one day but he'll make sure Bella becomes one of Quileute's. With that she has her new home here and the Cullens will have to face the Wolves if they ever try to snatch her away.
" So what are your plans for college?" Bella said sitting next to him, they waited until food was served to them.
"Well, I'll stay in Forks, I don't want to say goodbye to my family, especially now that there are so many little ones are born," Jacob said.
" You're also free to come live with us" Jacob said.
" Wait live with you?" Bella asks.
" Yeah"
" You'll have your own room and I'll drive you to work or class whenever you need to" Jacob said.
" I don't know, I don't want to bother anyone" Bella said.
" Besides I still got Charlie, but when he's off to work I can come anytime" Bella said,
she usually feels alone now that there is nobody there who loves her like Edward made her believe.
"He can stay too, My father would be delighted and it's also closer to the Police station." Jacob said.
Bella wonders why Jacob is acting this way, It's like he wants to be her shield,'
"Jacob I won't do anything dumb, My heart is broken but I'm not going anywhere, as long as I have you as a friend, I'll get through this" Bella said.
Jacob wants to protect her, she could feel it but probably from herself and wants to reassure him that she won't run off and kill herself.
" Please stick with us, or we can patrol around your house" Jacob said.
" But why?" Bella wonders. " Why are you being this way?" Bella asks fearing that Jacob knows more than he led on.
" People went missing in Port Angeles," Jacob said,
" The Town police assumes It's because of wild animals and I just want you to be fine" Jacob said.
" I know Jae, I watch the news too" Bella said, " I haven't been in Port Angeles for a long time" Bella said.
" Also I wonder If I can visit you again tomorrow" Bella said.
" Sure," Jacob said happy. " what do you want to do on that day?"
" Well how about fixing motorcycles? I know it's a great hobby of yours" Bella said.
"And?" Jacob said wanting to know what she's up to.
" And we'll spend time together" Bella said resting her head against his shoulder.
" I suppose we can do that" Jacob said tightening his arm around her kindly.
Bella felt at peace, just them sitting together looking at the Ocean seeing the foggy atmosphere of La push.
Jacob might never make her feel the same way as Edward did, after all he's human but nobody made her heal this fast, She spended just one afternoon and it's like she had therapy for months to get over the heartbreak, Jacob was like a shining sun that came through the dark clouds of her depression.
Bella went quiet curling up closer to Jacob, she was close to his heart, and he reached his hand towards her back, she could feel his warmth through the fabric of her blouse.
"Gosh I could just dose off with you right here" Bella said breaking the silence.
Jacob rubbed her scalp, they smiled at each other, and Billy saw them from a distance, Jacob had to look all the way down at her due to his heights.
Bella greeted Billy when he called Jacob to help with preparing dinner. Billy greeted her back friendly.
Bella wanted to help setting the table and showed Jacob to make a medium rare steak. More of the Quileute members started to like Bella for showing off her cooking skills, she mentions she always cooks for Charlie and her mother often. She's always been the care taker.
Billy remembered the day when Carlisle called him to inform him that he'll be staying in Forks for 10 years, He wasn't looking forward having the cold ones anywhere near them. Bill feared that Carlisle's son would bite Bella and a new war would start, He was certain that the Werewolves will prevail but not without a dire cost.
Now that the Cullens are gone Bella is no longer in danger, If any other vampire knows a human is aware of their existence she might die.
Billy isn't convinced the Cullens will be gone for good and will keep an eye out. Maybe when the time is right he'll inform Bella about what the Quileute really are. But she's a smart woman, she could figure it out herself.
-
On the next day Jacob has shown Bella the reservation and introduced her to all of his friends. They were very friendly and Bella wasn't sure if she should get used to this. Edwards family accepted her and tried their best to make her feel at home until they all deserted her. All of the sudden she's no longer part of this so called family.
But Jacob claims he's staying with the Quileute tribe no matter what. So if she decides to go to University she might have to say goodbye to them too. But If Jacob is willing to come with her she'll choose an University in Washington state so that it's much easier to visit his family members. And it might be easier for her to visit them in case Jacob can't stand a day without his group.
It's so cute to see him act like a pack leader and wrestle with his younger siblings. And just for once Bella longs to be in different arms. When Bella comes for a visit she pretends she's in Edwards arms when they hug but not anymore.
She enjoys being in his, and doesn't want to get out of them.
La Push truly has been the most peaceful place she has ever been to. And her friendship with Jacob is so easy while being with Edward her whole life revolve around his existence. She's so addicted to him that nothing matters, she doesn't even want to think of a future, all she wanted is to be a vampire so that they'll never have to be apart again. But Jacob despite liking her is not all over her. He caters to her during her stay but he also has other hobbies. His life doesn't revolve around her, she's just an important part of it and not being the center of his existence has shown her what a relationship on healthy grounds can be.
-
Some days later Charlie decided to visit too, Billy was very thrilled to see an old friend, since he's disabled he's unable to visit Forks as much as he likes to. He only gets to see Charlie when one of his family members need to head to Forks for groceries. Charlie had been looking out for his daughter After since these bastards left and now that Bella is doing better so did Charlie.
After dinner Bella helped doing the dishes, it was a wonderful end to an evening. She's looking forward fixing motorcycles with Jacob, he enjoys tinkering and it's the least she could do for letting her stay and be her emotional crutch.
The holidays are coming soon, She wanted nothing more than celebrate with the Cullens, so far no letters or a phone call, They really aren't coming back and the idea that Edward never thought about reaching out stings a little in her heart. All of the things he said in the forest is indeed true. Bella wiped her eye before Jacob could notice anything and she sat next to him with her head resting against his broad shoulder, Jacob stopped with what he was doing.
"Shall I take you home?" Jacob smiled.
"I wish I could stay but I'll visit soon if that's ok with you" Bella said still against his shoulder.
"I'll visit your place, I like to introduce myself to Charlie properly" Jacob said.
"You're the son of his best friend" Bella said.
"Yeah but we never really interacted besides greeting each other" Jacob said.
"Well Sure, We can work on the motorcycle there too" Bella said.
It felt nice that Jacob wants Charlie to get to know him. Her best friend. Bella feels a little sad that she put their friendship on the backseat for Edward.
Jacob has been the most forgiving out of all her friends, She never knew how much fun things could be outside of a tight knit relationship.
If Bella and him hung out this often even before Edward came the pain wouldn't be this persistent. She would have had Jae to be there for her right away. She didn't contact him mainly because she thought he might not want to see her but it was a stupid assumption.
Jacob never changes his demeanour towards anyone There were ppl he hasn't seen in years and he talks to them like they never left.
But despite that she'll never forsake her friendship with him again. Thankfully it's only been months not years she hasn't seen Jacob. Otherwise she would never have the courage to come over here. Imagine if she had to heal from her heartbreak alone.
She literally owes Jacob her life.
-/-
A week has passed and Bella has grown more accustomed to the foggy atmosphere of La push, Charlie is really impressed in Jacob and really hopes they'll end up together. He asked if Jacob is her boyfriend and Bella is considering having him when she's over Edward completely and If Jacob wants to come with her when she's going to University then it's set in stone.
But she needs to tell Jacob how she feels.
Bella brought more tools for Jacob to work on the bike, It was almost done and some friends from the reservation also watched their big brother put a motorcycle together.
Bella went to the fridge and let them choose what soda can they choose what they want to have.
Bella sat next to Jacob and flinched when she heard the phone ring in the kitchen. She looked up and excuses herself.
"Swan Residence" Bella said jubilant when she notice Sam taunting Jacob for a wrestle and tried to escape a headlock.
"Hi Dad how are you?" Bella said when she recognises Charlie.
"What is it Dad ? You sound sad" Bella noticed.
Her heart started to beat in her throat and didn't fathom what's happening.
"Your condition?" Bella asked, "
"What symptoms?" Bella raised her voice.
"Okay, Okay" Bella said keeping her voice steady.
"Shall I come to you?" Bella asks.
"Please head home right away" Bella pleaded.
And she then ended the phone conversation.
Charlie is on his way home and she feels devastated. Why now? Why? She kept wondering.
"Bella" Jacob called out to her but noticed her wiping a tear away,
"What's wrong?" Jacob asked when he felt Bella shake.
" Something is terrible has happened, I can feel it" Bella said through sobs.
Bella cried and Jacob went towards her and held her tight.