Bella came for a visit at La push, she feels a bit bad, Jacob hasn't seen her happy for a long time, even when she's with him she can't help but she's a tear.
It is very normal to mourn but she doesn't want to make the people who are with her to steer away. She wants to make room for better memories.
When her life is over she will meet him again, And Charlie wouldn't want her to be sad, He said that he rather have her mourn him with a great future ahead than mourn him on the streets homeless without any help. Jacob and his family were with Charlie, and the Clearwater family even stood by their side.
Finally he had a brief relationship, Even though he didn't have very long to live he wanted to Marry Sue Clearwater. At first she wasn't sure if she should accept because she couldn't live with the idea that she'll be a widow again soon but Bella loves sue so much, and so does Charlie, she cooked for Charlie so that Bella could have a moment to deal with her heartbreak and helped with everything she could.
With that they married. Her love and support lengthened Charlie's life but couldn't make it for this Christmas year. He didn't die alone, He was with Bella and his extended family.
Billy was very distraught when Charlie passed, and couldn't keep his face dry when he spoke about their friendship at the funeral.
Bella felt even more angry with herself for choosing Edward over her friends, Edward deserted her as soon as times become a little tough but Jacobs family stayed.
Her friends were there for her while Edward failed to do so, that pretty much seals everything. The Cullen's were never loyal, one day Bella was a part of their family and now a rug got pulled from her feet.
Bella brushed a tear away thinking about her father and how good he was treated during the twilight years of his battle with cancer, in heaven there is no suffering, and her only wish now is to go there too, She hasn't told anyone but If she ever gets sick she will not seek treatment for it. She wants this life to be over but in the meantime she will focus on what she does have.
Bella arrived at the reservation looking for Jacob, she went a bit further in the forest and called out.
"Jae?" Bella said.
"I'm here Bells" Jacob said and Bella came towards the cliff Jacob carefully walked towards her not wanting to drop something small he was holding.
Bella gasped in awe when she came closer.
"Jake is that a baby?" Is it yours?" Bella said shocked.
"yes It's a baby and No" Jake smiled.
"This is Seth" Jacob looked down and lowered his arm for Bella to see.
A tiny dark haired little human was curled against Jake's bare chest, nestled in one arm the baby slept soundless.
"Gosh he's so precious" Bella said touching the little head.
Bella wished she could be a baby so that Jake could hold her this close. If only she had the guts to tell him how she feels.
"So how are you?" Jacob asks and placed Seth down in a cradle and Bella couldn't help but grab the small child when he started to whimper.
"Oh no poor thing" Bella soothed.
he didn't want to be pulled away from Jacobs chest but remained calm when Bella placed him against hers.
"I'm doing better, being here really helps, and I'm sorry that I haven't been in high spirits for a long time" Bella said.
"Wait.. are you apologizing for grieving?" Bella you just buried your father" Jacob said.
"I don't expect you to be happy any time soon, Bella it takes time before you can move on and that's fine, I would be in tears everyday if my father died" Jacob said.
"So please don't worry," Jacob said.
Bella smiled as tears build up, "Thanks Jae,"
Jacob kept an arm around her when more started to fall, " It's just hard because I'll be celebrating Christmas without him for the first time.
" I just feel alone" Bella said.
"You're not Bella, We are a group, a tight knit family, you can be a part of that, and belong somewhere" Jacob said.
"What that bastard has done to you will not happen here with us, I promise you that" Jacob said assuring.
"Jae?" Bella said wiping her eye.
"Yeah?" Jacob smiled.
"I like you," Bella said, well more than that, more than a friend.
"I.. want to um.. ride motorcycles, " Bella said.
" Bella.. I don't think that's a good idea" "Charlie might strangle me if I meet him in heaven" Jacob said, he didn't want to put Bella in danger.
Bella laughed, "Well put the blame on me" Bella said, it was wonderful seeing small signs of healing.
"it's your favorite hobby, and I like to do things you enjoy.. that's what friends do right?" Bella said.
Jacob didn't like the word friend, maybe he needs to try harder to impress her.
'Only if you wear a helmet" Jacob said.
" I'll look stupid" Bella huffed,
" No, responsible" Jacob corrected.
" And I will keep an eye on you the whole time" Jacob said,
"Okay.." Bella said less enthusiastic.
"It's a date" Jacob smiled. "Oh and Bella.. "
"What?"
"I like you too"
-/-
Nighttime came Jacob let Bella practice on a motorcycle at the reservation, Despite wanting Bella to live a little he wasn't convinced that he should allow her on the road.
She fell several times, had a small injury on her knee, but so far nothing bad. to make sure she won't have a harsh fall they practiced on the sand of the beach only.
" You still don't think you need a helmet?" Jacob said amused when Bella fell off the motorcycle again.
Bella groaned, " One day I will be to drive that thing"
Jacob grabbed her hand to pull her up, she was a bit dizzy and Jacob dusted the sand off her sleeve.
" Come on, I'll show you how it's done" Jacob said and let her sit behind him.
The engine roared and Bella held him around the waist, she was a bit envious that Jacob doesn't need a helmet. but this moment was great.
The cold wind brushing against them, Her heart wasn't injured anymore. Jacob healed it for her.
He's a free spirit, not bound by desires of materialistic possessions, Being free and in nature is all he needs in life.
Unlike Edward Jacob doesn't deny her to do things that could be dangerous, He just comes up with an idea to make something risky safer.
Such as practicing on the sand to break her fall.
Jacob is a breeze of cool air, a light that has lit up a whole dark room, Bella doesn't desire him like a drug, but she needs him like the Ocean needs the moon, A Swan that needs the river, She can stay without Jacob for a day or two but yet not for long either. Not because she needs him but because he's a part of her.
Her better half, Bella smiled placing her head against Jacobs shoulder, In a way she's happy that Edward is gone, and wasn't dreadful about him never returning again.
His departure shaped her for another man, now that he left Bella knows what a healthy relationship looks like.
The Quileute tribe gathered towards the fire and Jacob just arrived with Bella holding her hand. Food was offered to Bella and chewed very slowly when the Quileute women started to sing, What a sound that was. Like Angels letting their voice be heard.
Bella and Jacob listen to Billie's story about the Quileute tribe, How they defend themselves from the Vampires. and how a woman without any powers gave them
the upper hand,
Bella rested her head against Jacob's shoulder, She understands now why Jacob hates Vampires. They are sitting close to a fire as Billy told about the treaty line and that's the reason no Cullen has ever came to La Push. if they do it means war.
If Edward ever decides to come back he won't be able to reach her If she stays here, Which is good.
She doesn't want to be around vampires ever, She's a fool for thinking that she could be more to them than food.
They truly are spiteful creatures for what they have done to the Werewolves.
" It's so hard to believe that you are a Werewolf" Bella said quiet.
"You're frightened?" Jacob asked.
" No, I've dealt with dangerous beings before" Bella said.
" I'm not dangerous" Jacob said. " When I started to phase I could easily triggered by anger or maybe lash out but when that's over I gain control over my actions"
"So when did you start changing?" Bella asked.
" A week after the Prom" Jacob said. " That's why I called you and couldn't celebrate your birthday with you" Jacob said.
"I'm sorry for that but I couldn't risk of seeing getting harmed. " Jacob said.
" So while I was with Edward you were staying away for my own wellbeing" Bella said.
"Correct" Jacob said.
Bella felt a little better for neglecting her friendship with him, If she would have visited him sooner then maybe things wouldn't go very great.
" But how did you find me in the forest?" Bella asked.
" I was trying to imprint," Jacob said.
" What's that" Bella asked.
" That's what werewolves do to find the right mate" Jacob said.
"When you turn into a werewolf for the first time, the desire to reproduce to secure the werewolf gene becomes dominant" Jacob said.
he was hoping that If he comes towards Bella's house then maybe he'll imprint on her, But as he went he heard her cry, He picked up her scent and found her shivering on the ground that that's where their bond began to develop.
" And that's how we ran into each other" Bella said.
" But Jae, why didn't you turn back into a human?" Bella asked.
"Would you rather see me naked"? Jacob asked joking.
"No I didn't mean it that way.. I just.. I.. we are friends Jacob I thought we could talk about anything." Bella said.
" Well.. I thought you might not understand, or be repulsed" Jacob said.
" Aww Jay" Bella, "I don't think you are a monster" Bella said.
" I'll always be your friend" Bella said.
Jacob backed away scowling, "Friend?" he repeated.
"Um.. my very best friend in the world that I love very much?" Bella said.
"That's better" Jacob said.
"So have you thought about my offer?" Jacob said. " About moving in"
"Well, I want to but what If the others don't want that?" Bella asked.
" You are not living with them," Jacob said. " If they won't have you then I'll come with you to Canada or Miami wherever you want"
"No, You don't have to go anywhere, I'll stay in Washington, There are plenty of universes there"
"And you don't have to travel far to see everyone, and I can visit Charlie's grave. I still like to believe that he's still here " Bella said.
"Well his spirit is," Jacob said. the Quileute's believe spirit are like energy it never dies and as long you don't forget the ones that have passed away,"
" They will never be truly gone" Jacob said.
" That's true" Bella said, she breathed out wanting to focus on happier times.
" Jacob I want to stay here with you, but I like to win everyone over too," So I'll prepare a feast"
" If everyone likes it, Then I'll see It's a sign that I should stay here" Bella said.
She wants to at least be tolerated by all of them, and If she prepare all the meals from now on then maybe they can look passed her previous relationship as a "Leech lover"
Jacob glanced over to the kitchen where Bella was, And looked over to his friends and younger siblings strict.
" You better not say anything rude about the food you're about to eat, She spend her own money on it and working hard to prepare something nice for you" Jacob said.
" So you better watch your mouth" Jacob said, he turned around when Bella came with plates,
" Do you need help serving?" Jacob asked when one plate almost fell from her palm.
" yes thank you" Bella said nervous, and Jacob followed her to the kitchen and gave a swift warning glance over his shoulder towards his brothers who were amused with Bella's stumbling. They piped down right away and waited until Jacob came with more plates.
Their plates were emptied and even asked Bella if they can have more, impressed with her cooking skills.
Bella had a feeling that Jacob made sure they were extra nice to her and not criticize any dish she made but it looks like there is no need to pretend that they like it
because all of them want her to cook more often. It felt wonderful introducing to them the Philly Cheesesteak she always loved to have back in Arizona.
finally feeling accepted she could picture her life with Jacob better.
he helped her doing the dishes outside in the open sky,
She could open her heart to love again,
-/-
In the early morning Edward made sure the coast was clear at the grave yard, Bella wasn't there which is good, He didn't want to spook her.
He wants to find her at home, He wondered what he should say to her when she sees him appear at her window.
Why didn't I just returned sooner? then saving Charlie could have been possible, Carlisle could have helped him.
I could have helped him, As i was in Brazil I felt I was caving in and I was thinking of any possible way to make amends for leaving,
but for this there Is nothing I can do, I'm just have to accept that I'm at Bella's mercy" Edward thought as he walked towards Charlies grave.
It was snowy the whole sky was obscured with large flakes falling down.
Edward laid a bouquet of flowers near and out of an attempt to show respect he dusts the snow from the tombstone.
" Charlie, I hope you're watching from a far, I hope now that you left the Mortal plane you will know that I left Bella behind to save her.
" I'm sure you wanted rip my head off for inflicting so much pain, ruining the last holiday season she could spend with you, But I didn't want anything bad happen to her because of me, I was the one who set up a birthday party against her wishes so i thought removing myself completely will secure her safety and have her move on to someone better" Edward said feeling saddened.
" I'm a vampire, allowing your daughter to come near me was irresponsible, I know but I love her so much, I hope If it's not too much to ask,
"But I would like to have your blessing to marry her if it will ever become easier to forgive the things I've done wrong"
" And I promise you Charlie, She will be in good hands,
"I just hope you hate me just a bit less when you will see your daughter happy and thriving"
"I will always love her, and from now on I will never be far away" Whether she wants me back or not" Edward said quiet.
" Bella might not forgive me easily but I hope you can" Edward said as his voice broke,
Edward stood up reading what's written the grave, "Thank you, Without you Bella wouldn't had the chance to be born, I've waited for her so long
And I've ruined so much, Hopefully now that there is another holiday season coming up soon I can make the last Christmas eve right." Edward said to Charlie.
Edward smiled saddened when the Sun started to break through the clouds it started to make his skin sparkle,
" I know, You rather not have me here any longer" Edward said. hopefully Charlie will be at peace with them together soon.
Edward went to his car when he got in he breathed out tightening the steering wheel and drove away when Bella arrived home he'll try to explain himself as best as he can.
He waited close to Bella's house, he was looking forward to see her but also frightened for the final blow. Maybe he should ask her first if he can come before appearing in her front yard, He'll call her first, If she hangs up then he'll try to reach her another time.
His pocket buzzed and Edward groaned wondering what Alice has seen now.
Way to build up his self esteem and anxiously Edward scrolled to the message.
"Stay put" the message said.
"Edward it's for the best that you don't see her right now" Alice texted.
"Why!?" Edward asked out loud without texting her back.
"Why can't I?" Edward asked curt.
another text came, " Because of my Visions, If you go now you will make things worse, It's just one step forward and two steps back"
" The hell with your visions, If Bella orders me away so be it" Edward said placing the phone back in his pocket.
Alice called and Edward felt his blood boil he wanted to throw the phone away but maybe Alice is right.
He answered her call, " What?"
" Edward head back to our house, I'm there too" Alice said.
"What were you seeing?" Edward asks.
" She's with other people, you won't be able to speak with her because her friends family will shoo you away, they will convince her to never speak to you again
for leaving her in the forest and ignoring her for so long" Alice said.
" She will comply at first but it will take a very long time before she wavers from that decision, probably months"
" It's for the best that you'll meet her alone" Alice said.
" When will they leave?" Edward asks.
" In 2 weeks" Alice said.
" Damn it" Edward said frustrated.
" Just come home, we'll discuss when it's the right time to see her" Alice said.
" But.. can make a phone call or just write her a letter and ask if she wants me back?" Edward said.
" I can't wait for two weeks" Edward said troubled. two weeks a is a mere second to a vampire but not a vampire with a heavy burden to carry.
His inner guilt was like the depts of hades, it burns horribly and rather ignore what Alice is saying and just risk the chance of Bella disowning him just to see her face.
" She won't respond well to that, " Alice said, If Edward would have called she would hang up and switch to a mobile phone incase her friends need to reach her.
The second option would be even worse, Alice could see the tokens Edward will give her. with a letter pleading her to meet him in person at his home.
The letter will leave Bella furious,
She won't open the gifts and just leaves it in a room with belonging's she no longer wants.
and she will go as far as moving out, but after that Alice couldn't see Bella's future anymore, as soon as she goes passed the treaty line she's gone for some weird reason and that's why Edward need to stay put.
"Listen Edward it's for the best that you don't anger her while she in this early stage of grieving" Alice said.
"Whatever you do don't go there" Alice warns.
" Shall I come to you?" Alice asks when Edward didn't respond.
" No, I'll meet you in an hour, I need a clear head for this Edward said and closed the phone.
He had to see Bella but he won't let his presence be known.
after renting a different car he drove to the small community, the Police station where Charlie worked was closed and inside there was a small memorial placed in the hall.
there were flowers near the picture, It was probably for Charlie.
It felt so weird being back, Forks was cloudy as always, he parked his car where there were humans around and used his speed to head to Bella's house.
Her scent was so healing like putting an end to a man's misery, his existence of torment is gone and is like he found a land similar to the afterlife.
There were people at Bella's house. giving her their condolence. Charlie's friends were there too,
Soon after his passing Quileute tribe offered Bella to stay with them until she feels better.
she has been with them for a while, Billy is even seen trying a coke, Bella's favorite beverage.
Edward remained in the shadows and finally spotted Bella, she was being cradled in comfort by a larger man, the same man who danced with Bella at the prom.
But Edward couldn't be bothered to be jealous, his guilt didn't allow it, he knows he deserves nothing but hopes it's not too late to be forgiven.
the man let her go abruptly like he was up to something and stared into the distance, his stance was quite hostile.
it's impossible for Jacob to see him, so whatever it was that startled Jacob it's not because of his presence.
Bella nervously tapped his arm and Jacob looked at her calming down, he gave her a fake smile rubbing her shoulder, acting it's fine.
and he held her with one arm in comfort.
Edward closed his eyes briefly, wishing he could apologize to her right now,
Bella turned into a fragile chickadee in such a short time, her Father's death is hard but that's not the reason why Bella became so underweight.
It was because of him. His departure caused this. Edward wanted to make sure Bella will not end her life now that she reached her breaking point but it looks like Jacobs family was aware that Bella could be suicidal. Edward is thankful for that.
There is no way he could ever repay them for looking after her while he was gone.
Edward looked at Bella who remained close to Jacob, It the best thing to do is just leave.
" I love you Bella" Edward said and went home, Not being able to speak to her was hard, but the werewolves would not let him come near anyway.
Hopefully things will go better.
Edward opened the door of his house and Esme threw herself at him, hugging him tight, " Edward I was so frightened" Esme said.
Carlisle came to his side right away, " Edward" Carlisle said he seemed to be worried as well.
"what's the matter?" Edward asked confused,
" I couldn't see your future, I didn't know what happened to you or when to look for you" Alice said still seeming to be shocked.
" Don't scare us like that" Alice said becoming angry.
"But I was close to Bella's home, I didn't do anything besides watching her from a distance." Edward mentioned.
This the third time blank spaces in Bella's future appears, first when Bella was left behind in the forest, one possible future where Bella moves out and now it happened again but Edward disappeared as well. Maybe Bella's shield is getting stronger and her far seeing ability won't work on Bella in the future.
" I'm fine" Edward assured everyone. " Alice I would like to speak with you"
Alice walked towards the living room followed by Edward, Carlisle remained with Esme leaving them to it.
" Can you see when it's the right time to approach Bella?" Edward said.
" I can't see her future," Alice said, "she disappeared again."
" All I see is black spots, she's alive and well but It feels like my powers are failing" Alice said.
"Could The black family has something to do with that?" Edward asked.
"How so?" Alice responds.
Some of them know what we are, they call us the cold ones" Edward said.
"When I was close to the Black family you couldn't see my future either, what if Billy formed a shield that makes your powers ineffective?" Edward said.
"Maybe.. I could see Bella's future when she dancing with Billie's son at the prom, I could see you there too.. " Alice said.
" Or Bella's Shield might be evolving, I'm unable to read her mind so maybe in the future she'll be immune to your powers as well" Edward said.
" That could be it, but whatever you do don't let Bella find you until all of them are gone, You're just going to make things worse" Alice said pleading.
"fine, would things be different If I came back sooner?" Edward asked.
"Yes" Alice said, "before Charlie died would have been the best moment to return" Alice said.
Edward couldn't blame her for respecting his wishes not to look into Bella's future,
" I wish I knew," Edward said.
" You said not to interfere..
" No Alice I don't blame you" Edward said. If Victoria left him alone then he would have been in time to save Charlie, or anything that was left of Bella's love.
" This is my fault,
" Do you have anything in mind to keep me busy for two weeks?" Edward said feeling his desire throb to see Bella. it was snowing even more outside.
"I suppose I could think of something" Alice smiled.