Vignette 1 - Pretty Fly, for a Rabbi
Kiran the Summoner, the Askran royal siblings, Commander Anna, and the contingent of Heroes they'd brought with them had set up camp in a wooded area following the recent skirmish with Emblian forces that they'd just won. Much to the joy of many among their number, Oscar of Tellius was on cooking duty. Others were passing the time either chatting, playing cards, or engaging in a bit of training with their weapons, magic, or otherwise. While Kiran was chatting with Anna and the siblings, the conversation was interrupted when they heard a noise in the distance. It was the sound of a small wagon being pulled along, as well as the wizened voice of its owner.
"I don't like the way you're walking..." they heard said owner admonish. "You've been into the sacramental wine again-you're fahsnickered! You drunken mule, you..."
The party soon saw the source of the voice as a mule pulling a two-wheeled wagon came into view. The wagon had loaded in its bed multiple casks of varying sizes, all labeled 'Sacramental Wine' (with some further labeled 'non-alcoholic'). At the reins was an old man, approximately in his late-fifties or early-sixties, wearing a black coat with a white collared undershirt, black pants and shoes, and a matching short-brimmed hat. He had a brown full beard with wisps of gray, and two brown curls stuck out and away from his sideburns.
The old man himself soon noticed the party looking at him, and pulled on the reins for his mule to stop. "Whoa, Morris, whoa," he commanded, causing the mule to halt.
Prince Alfonse of Askr stepped forward to greet the newcomer. "Hello there, Sir! Apologies if we're in your way, we'll move a bit so you can pass through." His sister, Princess Sharena, nodded in agreement.
"Oh, no problem at all, young man," the old man replied genially. "And, er, who might you be?"
Alfonse gave the man a slight bow as he made his introductions. "Prince Alfonse of Askr, at your service." He then pointed to the others. "My sister, Princess Sharena." Sharena gave a slight bow of her own. "Commander Anna, the lead general of this group." The ponytailed redhead nodded. "And Kiran, the Summoner and one of our chief tacticians." Kiran gave a slight wave. "The others you see before you are just some of those we've recruited from many different worlds into the Askran Order of Heroes." Said recruits offered their own varying greetings.
"Azoy? Askr, eh?" the old man inquired briefly. "So, you two must be Queen Henriette's kids! I've just come from the town near Askr Castle, where I happened to run into her. You've been making her proud, you know."
"How do you know the Queen?" Anna asked.
"We met through mutual people," the old man replied. "I presided over the wedding of two friends of hers: the daughter of the late Lord and Lady Bagelle, and the heir to the Loxley estate." He grew a bit wistful as he continued. "Now there was a match made in heaven-Loxley and Bagelle, what a surefire pairing! An 'S' support worth working towards!"
"Makes sense," both Alfonse and Sharena said, somewhat unsurprised.
"And who are you, Sir?" Kiran asked curiously.
"I am Rabbi Tuckman," the old man answered as he tipped his hat (and his curls!), before pointing to the casks on his wagon. "Purveyor of sacramental wine, and mohel extraordinaire."
A bit of curious chatter erupted among the Heroes in the party, especially those in the healing and spiritual professions themselves.
"What's a rabbi?" Lissa of Ylisse asked in whisper.
"Must be some type of priest," Serra of Elibe answered. "For what, I haven't a clue."
A different sort of question came from Azama of Hoshido. "A...mohel? I don't believe I've heard of that particular trade."
Rabbi Tuckman was all too eager to explain. "A mohel is a very important guy-he makes circumcisions!"
Laslow of Nohr (in reality, Inigo of (future) Ylisse) arched a curious eyebrow. "What exactly is a circumcision?"
Rabbi Tuckman grinned a little as he answered. "Oh, it's the latest rage-the ladies love it."
That was enough for Laslow and the other self-described 'ladykillers' of the party to eagerly start asking about it. Some of the more sensible gentlemen-and a good number of women-rolled their eyes or shook their heads at their comrades' predictability in that regard.
"You have my interest, good sir," Laslow said with a bow. "So then, how does it work?"
"It's a snap," Rabbi Tuckman began to explain as he took out an object from a pouch on the side of the wagon; said object looked like a miniature guillotine, drawing more arched eyebrows from the onlookers. "I take my little machine..." He then took a carrot out of another pouch and placed the pointy end through the contraption's hole. "I take your little thing, see? I put it into this little hole here, and..." He then pressed a tiny lever, which caused the blade to come down and slice the very tip of the carrot clean off. "...Nip the tip! Who's first?"
The sight of this greatly surprised the party, especially those who seemed eager before, some of whom winced and reflexively covered the front of their waists; a good number of the female portion of the party blushed at the implications.
"Er, heh-heh, I've, uh, changed my mind," Laslow nervously said.
"Um, already got one, actually," lied Matthis of Macedon.
"Uh...question?" Tobin of Valentia lightly asked, before his friend and fellow Valentian Gray quickly lowered his raised hand for him.
"*Sigh* I gotta work with a much younger crowd," Rabbi Tuckman said with a mild shake of his head.
Anna, at that point, decided to change the subject on behalf of all present. "Rabbi, you appear to be a good man-would you join us for a little while, perhaps share some of your wisdom, your counsel...and maybe some of your wine? (With those of drinking age, of course.)" This inspired a lot of vocal agreement from some of the others.
"Wisdom and counsel, that's easy," Rabbi Tuckman responded. "But what I carry here is sacramental wine-it's only used to bless things." Some of the Heroes expressed a bit of disappointment on hearing that; Rabbi Tuckman soon quickly salvaged the situation. "Waitaminute," he started, getting the party's attention. "There's things here-there's trees, there's rocks, there's birds, there's squirrels...there's what I'm guessing is your latest victory, of course." The others nodded at this. "Come on! We'll bless them all until most of you get fahsnickered! Join me!"
Hearing this got plenty of cheers from the party. "Let's hear it for the rabbi!" came one from Lex of Jugdral in particular. Soon a good number of the menfolk of the party began to help the rabbi unload some of the casks from the wagon. Off to the side, Kiran, Anna, and the royals met up with some of the healers in their group.
"...We're gonna have more than a few hangovers, aren't we?" Alfonse posed, a sweat drop by his and Sharena's heads.
"Looks that way," Brady of (future) Ylisse replied as he looked to his fellow healers. "*Sigh* Don't worry, we all prepared for this." The other healers, along with Oscar, nodded in affirmation as they quickly began mixing up all manner of hangover cures for the inevitable morning to come.