Vignette 14 - Too Much Monk-y Business
*And now, another minor additional crossover with...Galavant.*
It was the end of a long day for members of the Order of Heroes as a small group of them led by Kiran and Sharena trekked their way back towards Askr Castle. The sky was growing grayer, indicating a rainstorm was in the cards. All the while, the Heroes were a bit worn out from the mission they'd been on that day. Said Heroes included Realm-I's Astram, wielder of the blade Mercurius, and Lukas, the scholarly lancer; Realm-II's Finn, horse-riding mentor to Lief; Realm-III's Rath, stoic nomad; Realm-V's Shinon, the surliest of snipers; Realm-VI's Elise, the youngest princess of Nohr; and Realm-X's Dorothea and Annette, students of Garreg Mach Officer's Academy from, respectively, the Black Eagle and Blue Lion houses. Presently, their trek was complicated by one small nitpick...
"Goddess, I hope we find some place to spend the night soon," Annette said while holding her nose.
"Ditto on that," Dorothea added. "No offense, guys, but you really do stink!"
Shinon, Astram, and Lukas, in the course of the previous engagement with Emblian forces, had at one point evaded enemy archers by ducking into an abandoned building...which turned out to be a former series of horse stables...which hadn't been cleaned out for quite some time. The others gave the three of them a wide berth, and while Astram and Lukas bore it with dignity, Shinon was clearly not happy with their status. "Well, that's what I get for trying to stay alive in a battle. Occasionally, ya get down and dirty-sometimes literally. Don't come cryin' to me when you find yourself in the muck one day."
It was then that Finn drew the party's attention. "I see a building up ahead. Looks like an abbey."
"Definitely looks it," Elise noted. "I mean the spire with the angelic figure on the tip seems like a giveaway."
"Hopefully, the monks living there can put us up for the time being," Kiran said as they reached the abbey's entrance. Sharena rapped the large knocker on one of the doors, and soon both opened up. What greeted the party of Heroes certainly took them by surprise...
Monk 1:
Bum ba-dum, bum bum...
Head Monk:
Welcome to our abbey,
The best in the domain:
The Order of Our Father
Of Perpetual Refrain
And we're the monks-
All Monks:
Hey, hey, we're the monks!
(Hey, hey, we're the monks...)
The Heroes all sported slight dumbfounded looks as they took in the sight of a quintet of monks greeting them in song, in perfect harmony no less, though Shinon's look was more pronounced.
"Backstory, please?" he quietly asked.
It was then a spark of recognition appeared on Sharena's face. "Ah, now I get it! I heard about them back at the castle a while ago." When the others eyed her, she elaborated further. "They're an order of monks who, compared to those who take vows of silence or chastity (or both), have taken a vow of singing!"
"Really?" Elise asked before turning her focus back to the monks in question. "Wow...!"
Shinon, however, was quite annoyed. "Someone kill me now," he said while giving himself a facepalm. "Or at least shatter my eardrums..."
Dorothea and Annette, the two most musically-inclined of the Garreg Mach students in the Order of Heroes (with the former having previously been part of the renowned Mittlefrank Opera Company), found themselves quite impressed. "I've never heard singing done like this before," Annette commented.
"It's like choral singing, but it's got more...verve, I think?" Dorothea concurred, in awe of the vocal innovation in full display.
"In my world, it's a style called a cappella," Kiran informed her. "It's pretty popular in a lot of academic settings."
The party was led inside the abbey as the monks continued, just when it started pouring rain outside that very moment.
Head Monk:
Come in if you are weary.
There's food if you would dine.
Plus thirty one varieties of sacramental wine.
And we're the monks-
All Monks:
Hey, hey, we're the monks!
Hmm hmm hmm
Monk 1:
Bum ba-dum, bum bum
Monk 2:
I'm the smart one!
(Monks: Ahh, Hallelu!)
Monk 3:
I'm the cute one!
(Monks: Boop-see-doo!)
Monk 4:
I'm the shy one!
(Monks: Peek-a-boo!)
Monk 1:
And I'm the bad boy,
But not so bad
'Cause I'm a monk...
All Monks:
Bless you, children-
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo...
(Monk 1: Dip-dip-dip-de-doo)
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo...
Sharena took the opportunity to explain their needs to the monks. "Kind sirs, we would appreciate your generous offer of food and drink, along with shelter for the night, water for our three horses...and hot baths for these three." She pointed with a mild wince at Shinon, Astram, and Lukas, who all nodded fervently in affirmation. They really didn't want to go to bed smelling like aged horse manure.
Head Monk:
We'll fetch the holy water,
And holy soap as well-
[Points to Shinon, much to his chagrin.]
'Cause holy guacamole, that one reeks to holy hell!
And we're the monks-
All Monks:
Hey, hey, we're the monks!
Monk 1:
We're the moooonnnks...
Head Monk:
Hey, hey, we're the
Finger-popping,
Never-stopping,
Humble with a-
All Monks:
Cherry-topping monks!
Monk 3:
Ooh-we-ah-ah-aaaah...!
All Monks:
Jazz haaaaannnds...Yeah!
Dorothea and Annette looked to one another, conspiratorial smiles on their faces. "Annie, you thinking what I'm thinking?" the brunette Black Eagle student asked.
Annette nodded eagerly, already grasping what Dorothea was intending to do. While the others were getting settled in (with the stink-riddled trio being led to the abbey's bath house), Dorothea and Annette walked up to the head monk.
"Pardon me, but we'd like to know more about your singing style," Dorothea said. "And just to be clear, my friend and I are quite fine with you telling us in song..."
Castle Askr, one week later...
In the music room of Castle Askr, Dorothea brought the assembled group to order as they readied themselves for the last leg of their rehearsal for the day. In addition to herself and Annette, they'd brought together Realm-V's Micaiah, her sister Sanaki (empress of Begnion), and Leanne (princess of the Heron Tribe), along with Realm-VI's Azura.
"All right, girls, like we've been practicing-from the top!" she commanded. "And a one, and a two, and a three-"
Azura:
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
[Joined by Leanne.]
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
All:
Mister Sandman, bring me a dream...
[Azura: Bum-bum-bum-bum]
Make him the cutest, that I've ever seen!
[Dorothea: Bum-bum-bum-bum]
Give him two lips, like roses and clover-
[Annette: Bum-bum-bum-bum]
Then tell him that his lonesome nights-are-over!...
Those who passed by the music room listened and marveled at the fruits of what Dorothea and Annette's little organized effort had borne. Hearing this reminded Kiran to lock his phone (the one bit of modern tech from his world brought with him), despite being impressed by the group. Shinon, on the other hand...plugged his ears each time he had to pass by the door.